Lonely Man On A Business Trip

This is an excellent role play for Valentine’s Day because it is a fantasy that allows you to get really creative if you want. Just imagine your partner is a lonely business man out on work related travel. He’s depressed and all by himself on Valentine’s Day with no one to talk to.

You can play this scenario out a lot of ways. Have an “affair” while he is out of town on business and his wife is at home. Be the sexy maid that stops by his room to give it a clean, only to find him undressed and alone. Use your imagination! Here are some great ways to give this fantasy a sexy spin.

• Book a hotel room
• Wear an outfit that works for the part you’re playing (for example, a sexy maid’s costume)
• Nice champagne over ice

Sexy Stripper

You really can’t go wrong by playing the part of a stripper on Valentine’s Day and giving your lover a sexy striptease to get him turned on. Even if this idea seems played out to you, it most certainly is NOT played out to your man. Men can watch the same girl do the same striptease over and over again and STILL get excited. Why do you think strip clubs are so popular? Here are some things to consider if you want to make your striptease as fun and exciting as it can be.

• Pick a good song that you’re comfortable with
• Practice! You’ll be no good if the first time you dance is on him
• Consider taking lessons
• Get an outfit that he’s never seen before – one that not only looks great, but feels great on
• Have confidence! He’s going to love it no matter what you do or how good you are

Teacher/Student

This is another super fun sex game you and your partner can play on Valentine’s Day. Even if you’ve done this one before, the subject is so broad that you can literally do teacher/student ten times and never do it the same way twice. So don’t count this one out!

This is a fun fantasy to play out, no matter which way you do it – whether you’re the teacher and he’s the student, or the other way around. If you decide to go with playing the part of the teacher while your partner plays the part of the student, you can really take it to a whole new level.

If you’re the teacher, use this as an opportunity to get your lover to try a few things that they wouldn’t normally try. Now you don’t want to go too far out of the box here, but make sure you do teach them a few new things. Because it’s a game, they’ll be more inclined to try some activities that they ordinarily wouldn’t go for, as long as they’re only slightly outside your partner’s comfort zone and not way out there in bestiality and whatnot. Here are some ways to make the teacher/student sex fantasy even more fun!

• Dress the part. Again, costumes are a great way to really up the immersion factor when doing a role play.
• If you’re into domination or submission, you can also consider “punishing” the naughty student. This can be exceptionally fun if you’re teaching your lover how to do something very, very naughty.

When experimenting with role play for Valentine’s Day, whether you’ve done it before or are just trying it out for the first time, remember that the most important thing is creativity. Even if you can’t afford to book a hotel room or splurge on costumes, it’s your attitude that is the most important thing of all.

While it’s nice to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing, you’re not going to enjoy it as much if you and your partner think it’s so silly you’re laughing your asses off. So use your imagination and be creative as you can, but make sure you’re taking it seriously enough that you and your partner actually get into it. Remember to relax and have fun, because that’s what it’s all about! Having fun!

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1. Candy Ball Gag

If you’ve never experimented with gagging before (either yourself or your partner) you don’t want to introduce heavy headgear to start out with. While this may indeed sound like a no brainer, you wouldn’t believe how many people who have never tried bondage or BDSM before bring home whips and chains for the first time.

A candy ball gag is a perfect Valentine’s Day treat. It will inspire you and your partner to get a little more frisky in during sex, without going over the top. If your lover is a little weary about trying any type of gagging or submission, this can be just the thing to help ease them into the BDSM world without scaring them away. It’s just “innocent” enough to pass off as a fun toy, while allowing you and your lover to explore your sexual boundaries a little more.

2. Fetish Fantasy Doggie Strap

Take doggy style to a whole new level with the Fetish Fantasy Doggie Strap. You’ve never tried anything like this before! This unique sex toy is designed to be used only by couples during sex, so it’s an excellent Valentine’s Day gift. If you’re going to give your lover a sex toy as a Valentine’s Day gift, selecting something that can be used by both you and your partner is most definitely the way to go. It’s much less offensive than getting your partner a giant dildo or vibrator, and you’ll get to enjoy it too!

Simply slip the doggy strap around your partner’s hips, with one handle on each side. The “strap” part should be resting against the lower abdomen. Use the handles to help with your thrusting – you’ll get harder and faster penetration, and you’ll both feel extra naughty doing it!

3. LELO Sensua Suede Whip

The LELO Sensua Suede Whip is an excellent choice for Valentine’s Day BDSM fun. While this toy is probably better off being used with someone who has had some experience with mixing pain with pleasure, it can still be used lightly by beginners. However, if your an experienced player, this is great addition to your toy box for Valentine’s Day!

If you’re just starting out with pain and pleasure, gently use the suede whip to tickle and tease your lover into a foreplay frenzy, then turn them over and give them a few light whips on the rear. You don’t want to go leaving any huge welts or anything, but a few light red patches on the supple skin of their hind end can be super sexy!

4. Sportsheets Romantic Restraint Kit

Take no prisoners this Valentine’s Day! Actually, you can make your partner your sexy prisoner with the Sportsheets Romantic Restraint Kit. This is an excellent bondage introductory kit that includes a light rubber tickler, a blindfold and Velcro cuffs. It’s totally not intimidating, which makes it a perfect Valentine’s Day gift for the lover that hasn’t had a lot of experience with domination, submission or bondage.

Blindfold your partner and restrain their hands with the soft cuffs, and use the feather tickler to get them hot and ready. Play a game where your partner guesses where you’re going to tickle next, or mix the sensations of the feathers with the sensation of your hot mouth and tongue all over their body.

5. Fetish Fantasy Web Restraint

If you really want to get a unique and exciting bondage toy for Valentine’s Day, the Fetish Fantasy Web Restraint is right up your alley! This fun restraint slips over your bed in a “spider web” like fashion, allowing both you and your lover to restrain yourselves to the bed and to each other in different ways. This is almost like the “Twister” of bondage toys, so expect to have a good time when you use this! Use your imagination to find fun new sex positions to try, or restrain yourself or your partner during oral sex for a brand new, exciting Valentine’s Day experience.

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He Never Gets Sex Toys

It’s true – many guys don’t go to sex toy stores for themselves, nor do they order online. They’ve always done just fine with their hand, and frankly, for a long time, sex toys for “boys” just weren’t all that great. Things have come a long way since then, baby! Sex toys for men have much better materials, are higher quality and just feel better than they ever did before. But chances are, your guy is still stuck back in the stone age, thinking his hand is enough to get the job done. It is – but there are much better alternatives out there!

Your guy may also be incredibly embarrassed to order from a sex toy store, so perhaps he’s thought about it, but never made that jump. Either way, the fact of the matter is, while you may go shopping for this vibrator or that dildo, he’s never really had a thing.

Masturbation Gets Boring Sometimes

Even though guys look at porn way more than girls do when masturbating, it still gets boring sometimes. His hand just doesn’t feel as good as your vagina, but he makes do because let’s face it – guys masturbate. They just do. They do it when they have great sex lives, they do it when they have bad sex lives. They’ll do it if they had sex an hour ago, if nothing more than to help themselves fall asleep later. But just because your guy has a habit doesn’t mean he should have to do it really fast, in the dark, by himself, with no toys, just-to-get-it-over-with.

Think about how much you love your trusty vibrator. It gets you off every single time, doesn’t it? You know just how to use it and just how to move it to give yourself the best climaxes. But your guy probably doesn’t know that pleasure! Getting him his very own masturbation sleeve for Valentine’s Day ensures that masturbation will be fun and exciting for him again – and you’ll reap the benefits of his improved mood, guaranteed.

He Wants To Know You’re Okay With His Masturbation Habits

Many guys grow up believing masturbation is wrong or taboo. They’ve learned to masturbate quickly and in secret, and to hide their habits well. But he knows deep down that you know he masturbates. And while he’ll probably never discuss his masturbation habits with you (unless you guys are really, really close – like married for many years close), he secretly desires to know that you’re fine with him masturbating and aren’t bothered or threatened by it at all.

He might even have had a girlfriend or two that caught him masturbating or found his porn stash and made him feel bad or guilty about doing it. He may be terrified you’ll find out he jacks off! For him to get a solo sex toy from you for Valentine’s Day (along with an uber cool and casual attitude about it) will say to him that you’re confident and you don’t care that he masturbates. In fact, you encourage it. Make sure he has privacy, always knock if the door is closed and never make snide comments about it, and he may very well just think you’re the coolest chick ever.

He Would Love It If You Played With The Toy Together

Along with the idea that you are cool with him masturbating is the idea that you could watch him masturbate and help by giving him a handjob. When you give him the gift of his very own sex toy this Valentine’s Day, a scene of you, him, and the sex toy being very, very naughty is going to immediately pop into his head. This is a good thing!

While you definitely want to give him some time to learn how to use the thing on his own, after he’s had it a few weeks, you might suggest using it with him while you’re giving him a blowjob or kissing all over his body. Once you use a male masturbator to give your lover a handjob, you’ll never, ever go back to doing it with just your hands. Say goodbye to hand and arm cramps, ladies!

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1. Surprise Valentine’s Day Dinner At Home

The idea itself has been done before, but this is where you have to use your imagination to take it to a whole new level. Don’t have cash? Grab McDonald’s – and a few candles from the dollar store. Have a romantic dinner by candlelight! If you cook something yourself, why not use red and pink food coloring to make it a Valentine’s Day delight? Seriously. Just use your brain!

2. Charity Work

This is another excellent idea if you don’t have a lot of cash this year to blow on romantic dinners and dates. Take some time out of your day to deliver inexpensive Valentines to the elderly at a nursing home, or the cancer ward of the hospital. Even better if you live near a large hospital like St. Jude’s that has a children’s wing. Wherever you choose to go, spend the day with your honey making the lives of others just a little brighter!

3. Painting Together

Grab some inexpensive painting supplies from your local hobby store and set out to paint pictures for each other. If you’re inept at drawing, try abstract painting. Or, watch a few Bob Ross episodes before you get going. It’s actually not too difficult to paint those happy little trees, after all! Have a blast painting with each other and present your gifts to each other at the end of the day.

4. Totally Decked Out Romantic Space

Surprise your girl (this one doesn’t work too well for guys, sorry!) with a totally decked out romantic space. this can be the bathroom if you want to give her a romantic bubble bath and an erotic massage, or it can be the bedroom if you’re planning a night of hot passion. Red sheets and a satiny comforter? Yes. So many balloons you can no longer see the ceiling or floor. Yes. Champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and roses by the bed? Yes!

5. Picnic And Dancing In A Field

If the weather is nice on Valentine’s Day, you can pack up a picnic and head out to an empty field. Once you finish the meal, you can open the doors and windows of the car and play music. Have fun dancing and rolling around in the grass with each other! If you’re really secluded, you might even want to have sex right there in the middle of nowhere!

6. Candlemaking

This is definitely a unique idea that really isn’t done often enough – probably because the thought of candlemaking with a girl makes any man’s insides squirm. But in all honesty, candlemaking is actually a really cool date. If you have somewhere in your town that has candlemaking classes, this is an excellent choice. If not, head over to your local craft store, pick up the supplies and do it at home. It’s actually really fun, your girl will love it, and the candles actually end up being pretty good if you use quality supplies.

7. Picnic With A Twist

A lot of couples don’t have picnics because who wants sandwiches? It’s not like that’s a super exciting cuisine, anyways. But head out anyways and have a picnic with a twist. Have a pizza or Chinese food delivered to wherever you’re at! This is easiest at a public place you know is in their delivery area, like a park with tables. It’s still pretty inexpensive as meals go, and it will be way more fun than just ordering a pizza at home.

8. Ice Cream “Social”

Go out for dinner, but plan to have the dessert at home. Grab all the fixin’s for ice cream sundaes (the more decked out the better) and have an “ice cream social” at your house after dinner. If you want to take this to a really special level, head to your local “paint it yourself” pottery store and paint her a sweet ice cream dish. She can take it home as her gift after the “social!”

9. Wii Competition

Lots of girls are competitive. Plan a simple date night by having a Wii championship. Choose whatever game your partner feels like they’re best at, and make sure to win a few times but ultimately end up losing the championship to her (make it believable!) Ideally, you’ll have both set a “winner takes all” wager, and she’ll get either great sex or a lifetime of servitude.

10. At Your Service

If you can’t plan something really special for Valentine’s Day, have a normal night at home. It won’t be a normal night though – you’re going to make her feel like a princess! Wait on her hand and foot, clean up the house, fix her dinner and give her an incredible foot or back massage afterwards. For the entire evening, she is to be treated like royalty. It’s a very special and fun Valentine’s Day date that doesn’t cost a thing!

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1. The Lotus Position

Even though this is considered to be a pretty basic sex position by most seasoned sex gurus, many couples haven’t tried it. If you and your partner haven’t, consider yourself all set for Valentine’s Day! You’ll get to try a “new” sex position with your girl, but it’s one that won’t leave her feeling cheap and used.

If you have used it before, that’s okay. It’s still great for Valentine’s Day because it involves lots of cuddling and face to face intimacy. Yep – Valentine’s Day is all about the romance. That doesn’t mean it stops as soon as the sex starts. Your job is to carry it over and make getting it on with your lover as romantic as the rest of your gifts.

2. Reverse Cowgirl

Okay, you’ve done the lotus, you’ve had lots of cuddle time and have romanced your girl until you’re blue in the face. You’re both ready for some action! Throw caution to the wind and put your lover in the reverse cowgirl position. This is an excellent sex position to use because not only do you get an incredible show, she gets friction on her clitoris from your scrotum, bringing her closer to orgasm than with other sex positions.

Why This Will Work On Valentine’s Day

She knows she’s going to be having sex on the 14th. She’s had it in her mind for weeks. She’s likely bought special panties or a lingerie set already. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that she’s gone “au natural” on the big day. You can bet your bottom dollar that she’s clean, trimmed and prepped so as to be “ready” for anything on Valentine’s Day. Use this to your advantage.

Reverse cowgirl is one of the sex positions that women will engage in only if they’re comfortable enough with their bodies and only if they’re super clean and trimmed or shaved down there. A woman is not going to put herself on display for you like that unless she’s totally confident that she looks good.

3. Spooning

Again, while this is a widely used sex position, it is an excellent choice for February 14th because it involves lots of romance and intimacy. You can kiss and caress your partner’s ears, neck and shoulders while you slowly penetrate her from behind, while running your hands all over her breasts, hips and finally resting on her clitoris.

Not only will this sex position make her feel super loved and cherished (which is a total turn on for women), you can also help her reach orgasm faster by fingering her clitoris – just make sure you use lube!

4. Yep…Missionary!

Believe it or not, missionary is probably still one of the best Valentine’s Day sex positions out there. Yes, it’s completely played out. It’s been done and done again, and it’s become the running joke of sex positions couples who have really boring sex lives use. But that’s definitely become the stereotype of the missionary position – that doesn’t mean it actually is boring.

The truth about the missionary position is that it is what you make it. If you think it’s going to be boring, it’s going to be boring. If you instead allow yourself to live “in the moment” and savor each and every sensation you experience – from the sights to the smells to the tastes – then you’re going to have fantastic sex, and it won’t even matter what position you use!

Make missionary sex incredible this Valentine’s Day by making it sweet and romantic. Engage in lots of foreplay first. Give her oral sex so good, she’ll think you’re in love with going down on her and aren’t ever going to stop. By the time you get to actually doing it in the missionary position, she should have had at least one orgasm, if not more. Then, penetrate her slowly and let her excitement build again. Have sex life a masterful, skillful lover and she won’t even care that you used the missionary position! In fact, she’ll be glad she didn’t have to re-enact yoga positions while naked on Valentine’s Day!

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Write What You Mean And Mean What You Write

Don’t write something just to write it. Don’t do it because you think you should, or because you think love poems have to be a certain way. Start with your feelings. Write what you mean. If you write it, mean it. Don’t inject fake emotions into the poem because you think they should be there or because you think it sounds better if you do.

Your girl will easily be able to tell if you’re just giving her lines, so writing a super fancy love poem with words she knows you don’t fully understand (and using language that you would never use in a hundred years) isn’t going to get you very far. In fact, you’ll put a lot more effort into it than you’ll get out.

Here’s a hint: When you stay true to yourself and your feelings, it doesn’t feel like it takes much effort at all and the rewards are great.

Go “Sensual,” Not “Sexual”

This Valentine’s Day, you want to have incredible sex. You also want to try your hand at seducing your lover with poetry. If this is your goal, you don’t want to go with anything “sexual.” Talking about how hot she is, how hard she makes you or how horny you are isn’t going to do much in the way of getting her to go to bed with you. This is not what is going to get her to respond.

Instead, go “sensual.” Talk about her curves, how supple her skin looks in the moonlight and how you love kissing her soft lips. Compare parts of her to things you can find in nature – eyes the precise color of a sparkling river, lips like rose petals, etc. Use words like “wet, hard, delicious, supple, dirty, etc.” but not to describe her. She’ll get the underlying meaning. If you think of something sexual to write, just stop and think of how a woman might right that same thing. Would she say, “Your hot body makes me so hard,” or would she say, “Your sensuous curves set me on fire!” Think about it!

Don’t Be Afraid To “Get Inspired”

Guys look at porn. Women read romance and erotic novels. So if you’re going to try to seduce your lover on Valentine’s Day with poetry, why not go to the source of all women’s desire? Yes, it means you’ll have to read. Girly stuff. But it will be well worth it to understand a sexual situation from a woman’s perspective. Romance and erotic novels are nothing but situations in which a woman’s perfect scenario with someone is acted out word for word, play by play.

Google some short erotic stories – you’ll get to the good stuff a lot sooner than if you try to crack open a Harlequin. Take note of what the main woman in the story is seeing, feeling and thinking. Use this to inspire you to write your own story of sorts. Notice the slow buildup before anything erotic is introduced – this is definitely something you want your own poetry to reflect!

Play On Her Fantasies

Again, this is where either knowing your partner really well or knowing how women think about sexual situations well. Don’t think you’ll be able to write excellent Valentine’s Day poems without doing a little homework first. Think about what your lover likes in bed. Has she expressed to you what her desires or fantasies are? If so, you’re lucky! If you’re not quite sure, just write your poetry based on what you know she likes.

So to sum it all up, you want to be genuine when you write, get an idea of what to write from erotic or romance novels and choose topics that reflect your lover’s hidden desires. Be sensual and put some personality into it and you’re golden! Even if you’re not a brilliant author, your partner will know that you spent time and effort on her this Valentine’s Day. For a woman, that’s the best gift of all!

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1. Paint Her Body

Your woman wants you to spend some time on her this Valentine’s Day. What better way to do that than to lick and kiss all over her body, from head to toe? You can do this on your own, or you can gift your partner a delicious tub of edible body paint (or just use regular chocolate sauce) and tell her you’re going to enjoy her all night.

Draw hearts and words on her body and lick off the paint slowly, letting her savor every sensation! Just remember not to put anything with sugar on her genitals – this will give her an uncomfortable yeast infection later! That is not a Valentine’s Day gift you want to leave your lover with!

2. Steamy Sex Games

Why not break out a sexy board game for Valentine’s Day? Go with something tame like Battle Of The Sexes if you want to get competitive but not naked, or play something fun like strip poker if you don’t have anything around but cards.

If you’ve planned for it, you have some time to get a sex game that you can give as a gift. Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games is an inventive card game, while there are many sexy board games that will get you and your lover exploring brand new things. Even something as simple as dirty dice can be hotter on Valentine’s Day!

3. The Honey Game

This is an excellent foreplay sex game if you and your partner want to have some fun this Valentine’s Day but can’t or don’t want to spend a lot of money. Simply take a dab of honey, smear it in a small area on your body, blindfold your partner and let them try to find the dab of honey with their mouth!

This is incredibly sensual, because you’ll get to feel your lover’s hot mouth all over your body! They’ll really enjoy it as well, because you’re going to give them something super special (and sexy) when they find the prize.

4. A Striptease

Ladies, don’t underestimate the value of a striptease for your lover on Valentine’s Day. The idea itself may seem played out, but unless you give your man a striptease every single day of his life (which we’re willing to bet that you don’t) then it’s an incredible gift and you should definitely do it!

Guys love to look at women. They love to look at naked women (or women in lingerie) even more. They like to look at naked women dancing the most! Surprise your partner with a well put together striptease (because a crappy one that shows you haven’t practiced or put any effort into it at all is just insulting) and he’ll really enjoy it! Plus, it’s free!

5. Really Good Wine And A Babysitter

Again, this is one of those things that seem played out, or the go-to if you can’t think of anything better. However, this is honestly one of the best Valentine’s Day gifts out there! You really don’t want to underestimate how great really good wine (and a babysitter if you have little ones) is for Valentine’s Day!

Life is hectic, especially with jobs, kids, grocery shopping, paying bills and other day to day stuff that seems to suck the life out of you and your partner. So plan a quiet evening at home and enjoy some really, really good wine. Go ahead, splurge on your favorite. Relax. You’ll enjoy this Valentine’s Day gift as much as your partner, because once she’s relaxed and the kids aren’t in the house, it’s game on. 

6. A Fantasy Box

Explore your sexual fantasies in a non-threatening way this Valentine’s Day with a simple fantasy box. Decorate an empty tissue box with all kinds of Valentine’s Day themed paper, glitter and cutouts and proceed to write your sexiest fantasies on paper and drop them in the box.

Have your lover do the same! After dinner when you’re getting started with foreplay, take turns pulling out the slips and acting out what is written down. You’ll probably get a few surprises this way, and you’ll definitely be having fun.

7. A Hot Video

Ladies, buckle down and make an amateur porn for your lover. If you can’t manage that, at least give him some sexy photos to look at. Yes, your man looks at naked women. Yes, he’d rather be looking at you naked, but he certainly can’t do that if you don’t give him any material to look at! Give him the gift of you for Valentine’s Day!

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Leave Roses And A Note In Her Car

Grab a bouquet of roses and write a simple note with your phone number on it. Plainly state, “I would love to take you out for Valentine’s Day. Give me a call!” Don’t be too lovey dovey or pushy in your note, because the flowers add enough intensity to this scenario – too much and you’ll scare her off.

Also, meeting her at her car, say when she gets off work, with flowers and asking her out in person is also very sweet and acceptable. If you don’t want to get rejected in person and you think there’s a possibility of that, the note works well for that.

Send Flowers To Her Work

Flowers are an excellent way to get a lady to warm up to you, as long as they’re not too extravagant and obviously expensive. Bigger is not better here – however, taking note of her personal style and taste and selecting flowers that you genuinely believe she’ll like is. Take some time to select a nice bouquet with her favorite flowers and colors and have it delivered to her workplace.

You can put “from your secret admirer” if you like (this is almost always exciting for a woman, because in all honesty, it rarely ever happens for real) but make sure to include your phone number so she can get back to you. The great thing about sending it to work is that you’ll be making certain that all her work friends (and frienemies) see it. This will make her feel intensely special, and they’ll also put some good natured pressure on her to accept your offer.

Text Her To Meet You Somewhere Romantic

If you already have her phone number, this is an excellent way to meet her to ask her out in person. Send her a text asking her to meet you somewhere romantic – but not too romantic if you think it might scare her off. Meet at the park under your favorite tree, by a lake or river, or anywhere else nature can help you out a little.

If your local grocery store has a large Valentine’s Day section – may of them inflate balloons and let them float up to the ceiling, creating an entire section of surreal pink and red floating ribbon – you can meet there (this really only works if the atmosphere is super appealing).

In A Scavenger Hunt

Send your potential date on a scavenger hunt, with lots of little notes that lead either to another note with a big reveal or you, holding flowers. Make sure the “gold at the end of the rainbow” is fun and exciting enough to have made it worth the hunt. Just use your creativity for this one!

Use the notes to write fun clues as to where to find the next clues. With each note, include something small, like a rose petal (to indicate that the big reveal might include roses) or candy. When she reaches the reveal, either use a note to ask her out for Valentine’s Day, or do it in person. Again, don’t put too much pressure on her to respond. Have a card in your pocket with your phone number on it that you can pull out and say, “Think about it and call me if you’re interested” if she chokes.

Remember, if she seems uncomfortable or reluctant at all, you want to use the card. You may still get turned down, but there’s a good chance she was just nervous or didn’t know what to say or do when put on the spot like that. If you slip her your number and allow her some time to calm down and think about what happened, you give her a reprieve.

If you don’t, she is much more likely to turn you down because she felt uncomfortable. If you do, you’ll increase your chances of her calling you and letting you know that she really loved what you did, but was really nervous and shy while it was happening.

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Valentine’s Day Breakfast

Surprise your partner with a Valentine’s Day breakfast. If you can, call in for your sweetie (or arrange the day off beforehand without your partner’s knowledge) and wake them up with your special breakfast in bed. If they absolutely can’t get out of work, make the effort to have it ready about a half hour earlier than they typically wake up.

Some great suggestions for a breakfast would be red and food colored anything, but why not whip up a batch of heart shaped pancakes? These are super simple – just pour your normal pancake batter into a heart shape (you don’t need a special pan or anything) and flip. Voila! Top with whipped cream and strawberries.

Homemade Fortune Cookies

These are a super sweet and personalized Valentine’s Day idea that is incredibly inexpensive! You may have to spend a few bucks if you don’t have a pantry stocked with the normal baking goods, but this is still by far one of the most creative yet inexpensive Valentine’s Day gift ideas that ever existed. Search for videos on how to make them (many people have posted video walk throughs of how to make fortune cookies on popular video sharing websites) and have a crack at it while your partner is out of town.

Type out some personal fortunes and print them out, cutting them to the size of a normal fortune. If you need bigger, just fold it in half when you put it in the cookie. Another special touch would be tinting the batter with pink or red food coloring, or dipping them in chocolate and Valentine’s Day sprinkles after the cookies are cooked and firm. Wrap them up in a nice box and tissue paper and you’ve got a really special gift that didn’t cost hardly anything!

Love Coupons

Don’t underestimate the power of love coupons! These again, are really ridiculously inexpensive, but are worth their weight in gold if you actually follow through with them. Read: you absolutely have to follow through with them. Love coupons are worthless if you’ve done it before and either complained or didn’t do what you had promised to do when your partner “cashed in” their coupon.

If you’re into graphic design at all (heck, even if you aren’t, there are tons of free clip art pictures and fonts you can use), create something really visually intriguing and personalized. Put your lover’s name on them. Sign your name. Be creative! Just make sure that when your partner does cash in their coupons, that you do what it says on the coupon with a smile on your face!

Handmade Chocolates

If you’re going to do chocolates for Valentine’s Day, do them right. Don’t buy a box of Russell Stover from your local Walgreens and expect it to go over well. It won’t. Why not try your hand at making homemade chocolates?

This is actually quite easy to do and you can find a ton of recipes online. While you might think that making truffles and caramels are out of your reach, they’re really not. And making them yourself will be so much more special than buying a box – and they’ll be more delicious! You can personalize them by piping your love’s initials on the chocolates, or using her favorite flavors. If you’re really into it, try creating some decadent confections such as champagne truffles or tuxedo strawberries.

Re-Do The Bedroom

If sex is going to be the big thing on Valentine’s Day, try re-doing the bedroom to give it a great Valentine’s Day look and feel. Buy some red or pink sheets and bedding and re-do the bed. Have bouquets all around, or rose petals covering as many surfaces as possible. Many florists will sell bags of petals that have fallen off the buds for a discounted price.

You can also have a bag of balloons inflated and tie really long, curly ribbon to them. The balloons will float up to the ceiling and the curly ribbon will hang down, making your lover feel like they’re in a Valentine’s Day wonderland. Pair all these ideas together and you’ve got a bedroom makeover that will make your lover’s jaw drop!

Valentine’s Day Gift Basket

A pre-made gift basket is not where you want to go on this one. This is another homemade Valentine’s Day gift idea, but it’s actually really easy to put together. Figure out a “theme” for your gift basket. If you’re going sexy, make a gift basket out of sex toys, lubes, candies and lingerie! If you’ve got a “lovey-dovey” theme going, fill your basket with chocolates, strawberries, champagne and photos of you and your honey.

A gift basket can be anything you want it to be! Just use your imagination. Some things to keep in mind though to keep it from being lackluster are:

• Get a big basket. A rinky dinky one just won’t do.
• Do not underestimate the power of tissue paper and paper crinkles as a filler.
• Color coordinate. Yeah, it’s lame. But they’ll love it.
• Make sure to wrap the outside with gift basket wrap and a big Valentine’s Day bow to complete the look! Better yet, attach a bouquet of balloons to the top.

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Valentine’s Day is a day where you can express how much you love your partner. Men all over the world celebrate it by giving gifts, cooking dinners and sending flowers to their partner’s work. But what about your guy? Despite what you may thing, guys need to be told how much you love them too.

Men love a woman that tells them how much they care about them and February 14th is the perfect time to do so. Writing Valentine’s Day poems for your man will show you how much you love them and make them feel special. If you have never written Valentine’s Day poems before, there are a few things that you should know before you get started!

Do It From The Heart

Valentine’s Day poems are not acceptable unless they are written from the heart. Sincerity is the key. When you pen something that is overly embellished, your guy will know that you’re not being sincere. Think about all of the qualities that you love about him and try to express them in your poem. Talk about your first date or other aspects of your relationship. Try to make it as sincere as possible, but do not under embellish either.

Avoid Cliches

Cliches like “we have a love more vast than the sands of time” can come off as extremely cheesy. Avoid any cliches that you have heard before. Cliches do not sound sincere and can easily be mistaken for laziness. You want your partner to feel appreciated, not like you took a shortcut on his gift. Using metaphors is a great method to writing Valentine’s Day poems, but be careful that you’re not using common cliches with your metaphors. The same rule applies to similes so watch out for these mistakes.

Mention The Little Things

Talk about the little things that you love about him. Whether this is how he brushes your hair out of your eyes, kisses you softly every night before you fall asleep or holds you tight when you’re scared, bring these qualities to your poem. Not only will this get your emotions going, he will feel appreciated. Love is not about the monetary items that your partner buys you, it’s about the little things. Telling him that you love the little things that he does for you will show your dedication to him in it’s most sincere form.

Avoid Rhyming

Valentine’s Day poems do not have to rhyme. Some of the most famous ones do not even have rhyme schemes. Don’t feel pressured to rhyme the words in your poem. Sometimes the rhyming can even take away from the poem. Having one that does not rhyme can come off as less cheesy and more romantic. If you decide to pen one that does rhyme, keep it consistent throughout the poem. Choose a rhyme scheme that you feel comfortable with and take it from there.

Choose Your Words Well

Choose your words carefully. When you’re writing Valentine’s Day poems you don’t want the poem to come off the wrong way. If you don’t know what a word means, look it up. The last thing that you want to do is offend your partner with your gift. Choose words that are romantic and masculine to make him feel like a man. If you are too corny with your poem, you could embarrass him.

Be Funny

Another route to take is to do a funny poem. These come off as fun and do not run the risk of being too cheesy or making him uncomfortable. When you’re coming up with funny Valentine’s Day poems, it’s best to have a rhyme scheme (even though we suggested not to earlier). This shows off your sense of humor while also giving him a gift he will love. If you have a good funny bone in you, consider being humorous and romantic instead of just romantic.

Writing Valentine’s Day poems for your partner can be a rewarding way to show him how much you love him. If you don’t research the words that you’re using with your poem, you might turn him off immediately. The same can happen if you don’t do it from the heart. Valentine’s Day is not all about gifts, but this is a gift that you are constructing from your heart. Because it’s coming from your heart, you should put time and effort into it. Follow these simple guidelines and your gift will be a real hit with your fella!

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Choosing Valentine’s Day gifts for your partner might seem like a daunting task. Finding the right balance of love and necessity is essential to giving him a gift that he will not only love, but use. February 14th is geared more toward women, but men can easily feel left out when their significant other does not reciprocate with a present.

If you’re stressed for ideas, we have a couple of suggestions. When it comes to guys, you either want to give him something that will improve his life, or get him turned on. For women, Valentine’s Day gifts are usually about flash. This is different for men.

1. Gift Cards

Yes, they are one of the most impersonal Valentine’s Day gifts that you can give anybody. However, giving a guy a gift card allows him to choose something that he would like. Gift cards to electronics stores or sporting goods stores are the best because even if he doesn’t need something, there’s always something that he will want. If you want to make it a little more personal, buy a card and tell him how much you love him in the card.

2. Tools

What guy wouldn’t love a new set of tools as his Valentines Day gifts? Tools are a great gift for guys because it helps them feel manly. If your guy has been eyeing a new power saw or belt sander, consider what he could be doing around the house for you once he has them.

Men like to fix things and they are usually pretty good at it. Why not give him the gift of repair with a brand new power tool? Ask him what he needs and then sneakily go to the hardware store on your way home from work. You will put a smile on his face and he’ll have a great Valentine’s Day.

3. Lingerie

Men love women who dress up for them in the bedroom. If you have some ratty old lingerie that you never wear anymore, it’s probably time for an upgrade. Head out to your favorite lingerie store and buy an outfit that you know he will love.

Men love women in black, red and white lingerie so try a few different outfits on. After you have dinner, go to the bathroom and change. Walk into the living room to deliver your present to him. He will not only be surprised, he will be grateful that you’ve done something he’s been wanting for a long time.

4. Sporting Goods

Every guy has a sport that he loves. Whether he’s a tennis freak or plays in a soccer league, you can easily get on his good side this Valentine’s Day with some new sporting goods. Ask him a month or so before Valentine’s Day if he needs a new racquet, shin guards or whatever is applicable to his sport.

Do your own research on the best equipment and consult some local sporting goods stores on what your guy will need. Don’t spend out of your budget, but get him something that will last.

5. A Trip

Have the two of you always wanted to go somewhere, but just couldn’t find the time? Surprise your husband or boyfriend with a map that has the route to the place you want to go traced out. This is a great delivery instead of just saying, “We’re headed to Vegas!”

Another way to do this is to give him an envelope with the receipt for the hotel reservations in it. When he opens the envelope, you will see wonderment that eventually turns to excitement. A trip is technically a gift for the both of you, but you taking the initiative to finally get around to it will be enough to give him an awesome Valentine’s Day.

6. Coupon Books

Coupon books have become a staple of Valentine’s Day, birthdays and other holiday events. If you haven’t given your boyfriend or husband a coupon book, it is a cheap and easy way to make him happy. Create a coupon book online or with construction paper for different things you know he likes.

Erotic massages, nights out, and a day without chores are just the beginning. These books are personalized and make for a great gift that any guy will enjoy. You can even throw in a few sex coupons to keep things intimate. Coupon books also make for a good accompanying gift. If you have already bought something for him, consider tossing this in as an added bonus because you love him so much.

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Valentine’s Day ideas that he will love aren’t something that usually spring to mind on that special day in February so we’re going to give you a few starters to help you. Here are some great things your man will love.

Go Out On A Traditional Date

Traditional dates allow your fella to take you out and cater to you. Believe it or not, men like taking their girlfriends or wives out on the town. Let him plan all of the events. Whether you’re having dinner at a new restaurant or an old favorite, allowing him to plan the evening will make him feel like a man. Try wearing a new outfit on your date or wear something that you know he loves you in.

Have A Quiet Night

There’s nothing like a quiet night at home with the man that you love. Valentine’s Day can be a real hassle with making reservations, spending excessive money and competing with other couples for a table at a restaurant. One of the many things he will love on Valentine’s Day is to have him for you at home.

Valentines Day is about being together, no matter where you are. Remember that staying is also the shortest distance to the bedroom. Rent your favorite romantic movie and watch it together in bed. Chances are you won’t make it through the first 20 minutes.

Visit A Comedy Club

Who doesn’t like a comedy club? You get out of the house and you get have a few laughs. Valentine’s Day can be a very romantic, but why not spice things up with a different kind of night? Instead of having your partner shower you with gifts have him take you to a comedy club. You will both have fun while still keeping things romantic. Have a couple of drinks and enjoy the show together.

There is a lot of pressure to make the day great for you. Take some of the pressure off and just enjoy the evening with your partner. He will appreciate the fact that you’re not materialistic or hung up traditional Valentine’s Day stuff.

Throw A Party

A party is a great way to celebrate the holiday. Parties not only allow you to catch with your friends, it will allow him to have fun with his best buddies too. Invite some of your single friends and tell him to do the same. You can both have fun watching everybody mingle while entertaining. Decorate your house with some fun décor to set the mood.

Red and pink heart banners and a Valentine’s Day cake are essential for your party. Make sure that you have enough food and beverages for everybody. Having finger foods making it BYOB is a less expensive way to throw a party. Best of all, your lover will enjoy a different kind of February 14th.

Plan A Getaway

We all lead busy lives, but a getaway might be one of the best Valentine’s Day ideas for the both of you. This could take some planning so decide where you want to go a month or two in advance. February is a great month to get up to the mountains.

The snow is beautiful and you can cuddle up by a fire together. If you’re not much for the mountains, take a trip to a beach. The beach in the winter can be very romantic. A nice bed and breakfast can be extremely romantic. Whatever choice you make, he’ll love getting away with you even it’s just for a day or so.

Surprises

This works really well with men as a Valentine’s Day idea. Tell him that you don’t want to do anything! He’ll probably question you, but just reiterate that you have a lot going on and you would just like to stay in.

After he gets off work, tell him to get dressed and take him out to a surprise dinner at his favorite restaurant. This is a great way to show your man that you love him on Valentine’s Day. He’ll be surprised and excited that you’ve gone to the trouble of planning a date that he will enjoy.

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Whether you’ve gone through a recent break up or you just haven’t found that special guy, Valentine’s Day can be a very somber affair. If you thought that this February 14th would be filled with chocolates, flowers and other gifts only to find that you’re all alone, you might be searching for some alternatives to help you get through it.

This is a time that is generally geared toward couples, but there are a lot of options out there for singles also. Don’t get hung up on the 14th of February just because you don’t have a significant other right now. Push away the thought of spending your night eating ice cream straight from the bin. Take advantage of the occasion with some alternatives for singles.

Throw A Party

Throw a party at your house for all of your single friends if your find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day. Throwing a party can be one of the best ways to spend the holiday with other people who are in the same boat as you. Make a rule that no couples can be at the party and tell all of your friends to bring a single friend.

This will get people mingling and could help you meet a new flame. Since you’re going to be the host you will have a lot of the attention put on you. This is an awesome way to get over recent break ups and really put yourself back out there on a day that could have been spend wallowing in your grief.

Go Out Anyways!

So you don’t have a guy by your side, who cares? It doesn’t matter that you’re single on Valentine’s Day because there are tons of people who are also looking for a way to avoid the love-fest. Get a few of your friends together and head to out a night club that you normally wouldn’t go to. This will not only get you out of the house, but it will put you in a place that you’ve never been before.

We all have our favorite bars or clubs that we like to go to, but why not take a chance on this Valentine’s Day and expand your horizons? Going to a bar or night club that you’ve never been to will increase the chance that you meet new flame.

Take A Day For Yourself

If you know that you’re going to be alone on Valentine’s Day, take a day for yourself. Make plans to take off work for the day and do something that you want to do. Maybe you want to spend the entire day in bed catching up on old TV shows. Maybe you want to finally get started on the indoor garden that should have been done a month ago.

Maybe you want to take a trip to the next city over and do some outlet shopping. No matter what you want to do, make sure that you’re doing it. Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that you have to sit around depressed. We rarely get a day all to ourselves so make it your day.

Go On A Blind Date

Blind dates can be invigorating and scary at the same time. If you have a friend or coworker that has been dying to set you up on a blind date, finally take the chance to indulge them. Remember that just because a friend wants you to date somebody that they know doesn’t mean that you have to take it any further than a first date.

Make it a point to not have a throw away date with the guy. Treat him with respect and not just a way to get through your Valentine’s Day blues. Remember that he’s a friend of a friend so your conduct will get to your friend. You never know, he might actually wind up being a potential relationship.

Valentine’s Day can be a drag if you’re alone, but it doesn’t have to be. Finding ways to keep yourself entertained so the depression stay at bay is essential for your sanity. Throwing a party is a good way to have a low pressure event at your own home while avoiding couples. Throwing caution to the wind and hitting the town can put things in perspective. You will find a lot of singles that go out on Valentine’s Day despite not having a significant other.

Taking a day for yourself or going on a blind date are other ways to stay active on a day could be dismal. Whatever you choose to do, be proactive in keeping yourself busy. Don’t allow yourself to think about recent break ups or the unrealistic thought of being alone forever. Take a risk and turn this Valentine’s Day into a fun social occasion.

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So you’ve been dating a girl for a couple of months and everything is going great. Now it’s time those three words that make every guy quiver. “I love you.” Telling a girl that you love her can be one of the most nerve wracking moments in any relationship. Naturally, the relationship has to move forward in order to sustain itself, but this is the moment when it’s truly fight or flight.

Many guys fear this situation because they don’t know if the girl is going to say it back. This anxiety can be overcome when you truly know that a girl loves you. If you are at that point and you want to say it, Valentine’s Day could be a great occasion.

Decide If This Is What You Want

Telling a girl that you’re in love on Valentine’s Day is a huge step. When it feels right, you should go for it. If it doesn’t feel right then you might want to hold off. Never say “I love you” because you think that it will fix something in the relationship or that you “should.” This can be very powerful and the last thing that you want is to give a girl the wrong idea, especially on Valentine’s Day. If you feel like you are in love with her and you think that she’s in love with you then go for it! If not, reevaluate whether or not you want to say I love you to your girlfriend.

Setting The Environment

Saying “I love you” for the first time has to be special. This doesn’t mean that you have to do some Hollywood rom-com reenactment, but it also doesn’t mean that you should say it in sweatpants. Make reservations at a restaurant for Valentine’s Day. Make sure that the restaurant is a little nicer than you would normally go to. Nobody wants to be told “I love you” for the first time at Applebee’s.

Be Gentlemanly

Before you pick her up, clean out your car. Make sure that the car smells good, is vacuumed and dusted. The last thing that you want is her smelling old gym clothes or rummaging through coffee cups. When you pick her up, open the car door for her. Help her out of the car and open the door to the restaurant for her. When you get inside the restaurant, allow her to follow the hostess to the table and then pull her chair for her. Being a gentleman is essential to making her feel like she’s special. If you’re going to your house, make sure the cleanliness extends there as well.

Make Good Conversation

Making good conversation is the best way to keep the mood light and romantic. Asking about how her day was and how work is going for her will allow her to vent if needed. This is good because it helps you get into the frame of mind that you need to be in for the infamous three words. This helps you to hold back from it out at the wrong time also. Stick to topics that you both have an interest in. There is a time and place for conflict in every relationship; however, this is not one of those times. Keep the conversation humorous and fun to set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Pay The Bill

Are you really going to split the bill on Valentine’s Day and then tell her that you love her? That’s ridiculous. Make sure that you have enough money to pay the entire check. For guys, this kind of comes with the territory. It’s a little more classy to put the bill on a credit card or debit card than to flop a wad of mangled cash out of your pocket, so take this into consideration.

Saying It

All right, so now it’s time for the big show. You have paid the bill, you’ve had a nice evening and now it’s time say it. After you leave the restaurant, make sure that you have nice breath. Pop a small mint. This is easier than grinding your teeth together on a piece of gum. Walk her back to your car and then open the door for her. Before she gets in give her a kiss and say it. More than likely she will say it back. After you say it she will know what the evening has been about and she will appreciate all of the effort that you put into making it special for her.

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Sex can go a lot of ways. There are women out there that like their sex to be really dirty and there are women out there who love romantic sex. There is a time and a place for everything. Having romantic sex can bring you closer to your girlfriend or wife and really keep the relationship fresh. It’s also a great way to have sex on Valentine’s Day! This is much different than breaking out the sex swing or an arsenal of silicone toys on February 14th. If your girlfriend or wife is stressing the need for more romantic sex, here is a short guide to help you out.

Leave The Sex Toys At The Door

Romantic sex is all about the two of you, not the vibrating piece of jelly in the drawer. When you’re having romantic sex you want to incorporate your body as much as possible. Vibrators, dildos, cock rings and anything else that you purchased from a sex shop should be left out of the equation. Protection and lubricant are the only exceptions to this rule. A toy can easily take away from your ability to please her. She can always whip out the vibrator when she’s in a jam, but she can’t always have you there. Having romantic sex means that YOU satisfy her needs.

Set The Mood

Setting the mood is one of the biggest things with having sex. You don’t have to have music, but it helps. Choose something with a slower beat if you are going to use music. Pick up around the bedroom before you start in. Having dirty clothes, old cups or anything else that could detract from the deed is best when you want to set the mood. Close the curtains and light a candle or two if you have them. Decorate with Valentine’s Day stuff like balloons, confetti and champagne and strawberries if you have the funds. You want to make the room as calm as possible when you’re having romantic sex. This will put you and her at ease.

Take Her Clothes Off For Her

When you’re just looking for a quickie, you probably rip your clothes off and jump into bed. Instead of getting right down to it, take her clothes off for her and do it slowly. Start with her shirt. If she has a button down on then this can be even better. Unbutton each button slowly as you kiss her. Work your way down to her pants and take them off slowly. Take off her pants and her shirt before you go for the bra and panties. As you take one article of clothing off of her, she should be taking one off of you. This slows the process down and leads to very romantic sex.

Engage In Foreplay

Foreplay is very romantic, especially on Valentine’s Day. Not only will this give the event a quick shot of romance, it will give her time to warm up. When you’re in the foreplay stage make sure that you focus on her lips and neck. Run your hands up and down her body slowly to get her turned on. Remember that women are not like men. They don’t from soft to hard in a matter of seconds. You have to slow things down to bring them to the edge. A lot of foreplay will lead to some of the most romantic sex you have ever had.

No Crazy Sex Positions

Romantic sex should not involve crazy sex positions. The activity is about being close to each other, especially when you’re doing it on Valentine’s Day. If she has legs akimbo and a strain on her neck she’s not going to feel very romantic. Use positions that are fairly common, but focus on eye contact and intimacy. Missionary, girl on top and spooning are some of the best positions for romantic sex. Make sure that you’re staying as close to her as possible when you’re having sex so she feels connected to you. Hold her close as the two of you orgasm to make it even more romantic.

Romantic sex can be one of the best remedies for any relationship, and it’s exactly the right kind of sex to have on Valentine’s Day. Having the physical compatibility in the bedroom can translate to other aspects of your partnership. It’s important to remember that romantic sex should not involve toys or anything that you saw in a porno.

You want this to be an intimate affair between the two of you. Setting the mood can set a precedent for the type of sex that you’re going to have. When you use a lot of foreplay you can get bring her to the edge making it easier for her to orgasm. Following these simple rules will have you and your partner happy with the intimacy you’ve gained throughout your experience.

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Chocolate Covered Strawberries

No, you don’t have to make a trip to your local gourmet chocolate store and spend a ton of money to get a nice box of chocolate covered strawberries. These are easy to make at home and can be easily dressed up for Valentine’s Day with an inexpensive box and some tissue paper.

If you do have some money to spend, you definitely want to go quality here. Get quality, organic strawberries and high quality melting chocolate. Simply dip the strawberries in the melted chocolate and set on a piece of wax paper. Refrigerate until they’re hardened and then arrange them in your decorative box. Voila! Way better than any box of chocolates you buy at the store.

If you want to get creative, look up some recipes on how to use white and milk chocolate together. When you gift them to your partner, make sure to include eating them sensually with a bottle of inexpensive champagne. That’s the best part of all!

Budoir Photos

Get your digital camera and take some sexy photos of yourself in lingerie and then again, in various stages of undress. If you have a friend that you trust to do this, employ them to help you so you can get some better quality photos. Upload them to a free online video editor (or a really good program if you happen to have one, but free editors are good too) and fix blemishes, add a filter if you like or even make it black and white for a really great look.

Once they’re done, print them out on a home photo printer (no, these aren’t ones you can send to your local photo developer) and either frame a few of your favorites or put them in a special book for your lover. If you don’t have a photo printer, make a digital collage and send it to him with a sexy email. He will love being able to look at you instead of porn when he’s feeling randy. Of course, he’ll still look at porn too, but your photos are likely going to be his special favorite.

Sex Coupons

Sex coupons are always in style and extremely easy and inexpensive to make for Valentine’s Day. You can grab some construction paper, markers and glitter from the store if you want to go all out, or you can simply type them out, throw a few cute clip art photos on there and print them. Either way, sex coupons are an excellent option if you don’t have a lot of funds for the big day. Just make sure you actually follow through whenever your man wants to redeem them.

If he wants to redeem a coupon for a 30 minute long blowjob and you say you’ve got a headache, it’s like you’ve taken his gift back to the store, just before he got to open it. So go through with whatever you put on your coupons, whenever your guy redeems them. Headache or not.

Cook A Delectable, Candlelit Dinner

You don’t have to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day if you don’t want to brave the crowds or don’t have the cash for a decent reservation. Plan a meal that you can cook, and set the table. Most people actually don’t eat at the dining room table, so if you set the table with candles and everything, it’s going to seem almost – almost – like you’re at a restaurant. If you can’t cook, order out! Just make sure you’re sitting across the table from your beau without the distraction of the television, your phones, the computer, etc. To make it sexy, try cooking and eating while completely naked. Or, let him eat dinner off you.

A Sexy Treasure Hunt

Make your man go on a treasure hunt – with you as the treasure! Leave post-its with dirty messages on them, or rose petals leading from the door all the way to the bedroom. Use your creativity to come up with a fun way for him to find you, so long as you’re waiting for him either naked or dressed in something very, very sexy. He will love the suspense of looking for you, only to find you ready and waiting for him!

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Get Together With Friends

Chances are not all of your friends have significant others. It’s a great time for couples, but it can also be good for singles. The majority of singles don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Get together with your other single friends and head out to a bar or nightclub. You will probably find other singles that are trying to escape from the fact that they don’t have anybody. Enjoy yourself and don’t let the holiday get you down.

Go To A Movie

Movies are one of the greatest escapes. Being engrossed in a movie can take away any thought of being alone on Valentine’s Day. Don’t choose a romantic film or something that is too harsh. An action film or a thriller is your best bet to keep your mind at ease. Check your local listings and choose a movie that starts a little later. An 8 o’clock show is perfect because you will probably need to be there by 7:45. This will take up your entire evening. Before you know it, the evening will be gone.

Go To A Party

So your friends are having a Valentine’s Day party and you don’t have anybody to go with. Usually you would just blow it off because it’s going to be filled to the rim with couples. Go anyway. Yes, there will be a lot of couples, but there might be singles. Single people tend to play third-wheel with their couple friends and some rely on them to find their next relationship. You could meet a friend of a friend and end up spending Valentine’s Day with a new flame.

Take A Short Trip

Is there a concert going on in the next town over that you would like to see? Even if you have never heard of the band, take a short trip. This is a great way to change up the scenery and get you into a different mindset. This works great with art exhibits or craft shows also. Grab a copy of your local paper and look at what is going on around your area.

Spend It With Family

If you don’t have any single friends and you don’t want to spend the whole time alone, shack up with some family. Family will never tell you to butt out so hitch a ride with them and have dinner or go to a show. Even if your family is not doing anything special, you can just spend it catching up. Your family will be understanding of what you’re going through and can lend a shoulder to cry on or even put a smile back on your face.

Work Through It

Work has the ability to take your mind off of anything. If you have a big presentation coming up or you really need to get a jump start on a busy week, go ahead and work through it. Your mind will be off of being alone on Valentine’s Day and can get you through it without a major breakdown.

Join An Online Dating Site

If you’re completely tired of being alone and Valentine’s Day is too much to handle, join an online dating site. You can spend Valentine’s Day online dating and looking at potential dates for the future. Just thinking about a new relationship could be enough to give you perspective. When you join an online dating site, make sure that it’s one you like. There are a lot of free options out there, but a paid dating site tends to have more sophisticated clientele.

Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be depressing. There are a lot of activities that you can do to help you get through it without a mind-melt. Hit some friends up to go out or take in a great movie. Work can take your mind off of the event, but your family will always have open arms.

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Jazz Concerts

One of the best romantic date ideas for a shy guy is to take a girl to a jazz concert. Jazz concerts might not be your thing, but the slow beat of the drums and the improvisation is very romantic. As a shy guy, you might not want to be the center of attention. A jazz concert is perfect because it’s usually in a bar or small nightclub. You can sit at a table with your girlfriend in the back of the venue and have a conversation or just listen to the music. Either way, the setting will do most of the work for you. Put your hand on her leg and keep the conversation low so she has to come close to you when she talks.

Art Festivals

Romantic date ideas don’t have to involve traditional dinners and expensive wine. You can take your girl out for a romantic date at an art festival. The best thing about art festivals is that they are usually free. Local art shows also offer a variety of things to browse. Hold your girlfriend by the hand as you go from booth to booth. If you find something that you think she might like, buy it for her. It doesn’t have to be a grandiose painting or anything, but a small piece of jewelry can be very romantic.

The Movies

The movie theater can be a great romantic date idea for you and your girl if you’re a shy guy. The movie theater is dark and allows you get close with her. Put your arm around her or hold her hand to keep the scene romantic. Choose a movie that she really wants to see. Even if this is a terrible romantic comedy you will get points for going with her. Women find romance in a man that does things for them that he really doesn’t want to do. Going to a movie with her is a romantic date idea she will love.

Family Events

Women love a guy who takes her to his family events. If you have a parent’s birthday coming up or an anniversary party, take your girlfriend with you. Bringing your girlfriend with you to a family event is a great romantic date idea because she will start to see herself as part of your family. When she sees herself as part of your family she will feel that there is a future between the two of you. Family events are also good because they can bring you out of your shell a little bit. Who knows you better than your family? Take your girlfriend to your next family event for a romantic evening.

Double Dates

Double dates can be very romantic for shy guys. Get together with a friend who is dating somebody and plan an evening out together. When you are around a friend that has known you for a long time you can be comfortable. Feeling comfortable can make all of the shyness disappear. Get dressed up and make a night out of it to add to the romance. Keep engaged with your girlfriend as well as the other people at the table and put your hand on her thigh throughout the evening to keep her feeling special.

The Ballet

I know. It’s definitely not something that you will want to do, but she will love it. The fact that you’re doing something that she wants make the ballet one of the best romantic date ideas out there. The ballet can be very boring and tedious, but your girlfriend will love watching the grace on stage. Hold her hand throughout the evening and she will definitely feel the romance. If you get really bored, just think about what she will give you afterward.

Being a shy guy doesn’t mean that you can’t take your girlfriend out on a romantic date. There are romantic date ideas for shy guys and you should follow these suggestions to give your girlfriend the romance that she wants. Relationships are about give and take. This is your chance to give.

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Your boyfriend or husband is the love of your life. They leave little notes for you, they always to know what is bothering you and they pick up on things that you would have never expected. But how do you show them that you care? Being romantic with your boyfriend or husband can be pretty daunting when you have no idea how to go about it.

If you would like to show your guy how much you love him, here are a few ideas to help through the murky waters of romance for a guy. You need to realize that flowers, little notes or fancy dinners don’t turn men on. To show your guy how much you love him, you need to take practicality by the hand. Here’s a short guide to simple romance that he will love.

Tickets To His Fave Thing

Tickets to a sporting even or a concert can be extremely romantic to a guy. If your guy has been wanting to make it out to a football game but can’t get tickets, you could go online and find some cheap nosebleed seats fairly quickly. Romance to a guy means nachos, face paint and jerseys. Remember that this is his day so let him be a guy.

Let Him Teach Your Something

Does your guy love doing something that you have no idea about? Does he have a mean tennis serve? Does he know how to fix the sink? Let him teach you how to do something. This let him take control while you learn how to do something that he has an interest in. While he is teaching you he will feel knowledgeable and this can make him feel like a real guy. This is the kind of romance that will get him going.

Buy Something Small

The next time that you’re at the grocery store buy something that you know he loves. This could be his favorite ice cream, his favorite soda or a special dinner he loves. This will show that you love him. When you come back from the grocery store, surprise him with the item.

Be There For Him

Most guys can be insecure with their girlfriends and even their wives. If your guy is having a hard week at work, let him know that you’re there for him. Just telling him that you care can be enough reassurance to let him know that you’re not going to run away at the first sign of trouble.

Have A “Him Day”

Most guys will indulge their girlfriends or wives with a trip to the mall. Doesn’t guy dread going to mall while you spend hours trying on clothes? When was the last time that you went with him to an electronics store? Have a day set aside where you do everything that he wants to do. Has he been dying to go check out a new 3-D TV? Go with him. A lot of times, women tend to forgo trips to stores with their guys. Go with him. You never know, you might find something that you need.

Take An Interest In His Stuff

Does your guy wake up every Saturday to hit the lake for some fishing? Surprise him and wake up to go along. Guys love spending time with their girlfriends. To have a significant other take an interest in a sport or activity that the guy loves can make it even better.

Rub His Shoulders

Guys respond to touch the way that women respond to emotion. If you really want to romance your guy, give him a back or shoulder rub the next time he’s watching TV or working at his desk. This can alleviate stress and keep him loose. When you rub his shoulders tell him how much you appreciate him and how much he has a made a difference in your life. You can also go for an erotic massage if you want to make it sexy this Valentine’s Day!

Seduce Him

Seduction is one of the best ways to get into a guy’s heart. Put on some lingerie and turn the lights down low right before bed. When he comes into the room he will instantly be in love with you all over again. It’s pretty obvious that men respond to sex pretty well. They find physical touch as the primary form of romance. When you seduce him it make him feel attractive and masculine.

You don’t have to be a complete genius to show your guy that you love him. When you implement these suggestions into your repertoire you will find that he can open up to you more. Relationships are all about reciprocation. When you are showing him that you love him, he will show you how he loves you.

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A cheating lover is something that a lot of women have experienced. Cheating is one of the most disrespectful actions a guy can take in a relationship. It’s not very often that cheating goes unnoticed. If you believe that your fella is having an affair, there are a couple of things that you can look out for.

1. He’s On The Computer A LOT

One of the easiest ways for guys to meet women for sex is online. Even if the guy is not meeting a girl for sex he could be talking about it online with multiple women. The Internet has given guys a platform to play out their fantasies with women anonymously. If your guy cringes every time that you reach for his computer then he might be having an online tryst with other women.

If you guy doesn’t leave his computer open or protects everything with a password, this is another red flag. Check IM chat logs or website history if you can get into his computer. If you can’t, try to look over his shoulder when he doesn’t think you’re around. Yes, this is a little creepy, but better safe than sorry.

2. He Starts To Have Odd Schedule Changes

Does your guy follow a routine down the minute? Does he walk through the door at 5:16 every afternoon? Sudden schedule changes can be a sign that he’s cheating. Some guys like to be spontaneous, but if he has a steady job a sudden change in routine could be a sign that he is cheating. Ask questions about where he was or why he was working late.

You don’t have to prod him with an interrogation like the Republican Guard, but get some details. Details can prove that he was actually where he says he was. If you can poke holes through his story then you might want to rethink the relationship. If he tries to include you in his schedule changes then he’s probably not cheating.

3. He Disappears

No calls, no texts and no emails? This is a huge sign that he’s probably having an affair. If you have gone from hot and heavy to barely seeing each other then there is definitely a problem. If he were really interested in you then he would be trying to spend more time with you.

All relationships hit a bump in the road every so often, but if he is making excuses not to see you he might have a woman on the side. If there are changes at work or something similar then you might not see him as much. However, if there are no changes at work and he just disappears on you, he might be cheating.

4. Something Has Changed

You can feel it. Something has changed about him. He’s focusing more on his looks than ever before. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes anymore. He’s not the guy that you fell in love with. These are all indications that there is something wrong with the relationship. When you feel like something has changed about him it could be the company of another woman.

Cheating has a way of changing men. When they are having an affair, they will put you second fiddle. Take a notice of changes in the air when you’re around him and you might find that he’s spending time with another girl.

5. The Proof Is On His Phone

If you have the inclination to check his phone every time he leaves the room then there is something wrong. He might be cheating or he might not be. Usually, when a woman feels the need to check a guy’s phone she does not trust him. This can be a problem in itself; however, if you feel like you have to check his phone it’s probably for a reason.

If you find text messages of a sexual nature from numbers you don’t recognize then you should definitely confront him about it. If your guy has a password on his phone then you should also be on your toes. If your guy doesn’t let his phone out of his sight there could also be a problem.

A cheating lover is not something that you should tolerate. The disrespect that you will feel after you find out can be soul-crushing. Look for these indications so you are not a victim to his cheating. If you find that your guy is displaying one or more of these signs, talk to him about it. In most cases, talking your way through problems can bring the relationship full circle.

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Small Italian Restaurants

Almost everybody loves Italian food. Guys love the meaty red sauces, the filling pastas and the garlic bread. If you want to make the night romantic, try to find an Italian place around your area that is off the beaten path. These are usually found inside the city on a corner or hidden among other stores. Having a back table in a small Italian restaurant will get the romance started quickly. He’ll love the menu and love you for suggesting something new for the relationship. Make it a formal affair and dress up for the night to add more of an edge to your romantic date idea.

Camping

Nothing says Valentine’s Day like sleeping under the stars. If you’re looking for some quality time with your guy, consider camping. Roughing it in the woods and cuddling next to a campfire can easily make for excellent romantic date ideas! Although this is more of a trip, you can make it a date that lasts until the next morning. Instead of using two different sleeping bags, use one as your base and then cuddle with the other one on top of the two of you. Look at the stars and spend the night talking about the future for some easy romance.

Double Dating

Double dating is one of the best romantic date ideas ever! Going out on a double date with your guy and another couple can lead to great conversation and a lot of fun on Valentine’s Day. Choose a night where you want to go out with another couple and make it a little more formal than a regular dinner and a movie. Get dressed up to the point that he would rather stay in the bedroom than go out with another couple. Touch his leg throughout the dinner to make the evening more romantic. When the bill comes, let him pay for you. This time honored tradition will make him feel like a man and can definitely end on a romantic note.

Local Theater

Although your guy undoubtedly doesn’t understand the ballet, he probably wouldn’t mind a trip to the local theater. Local theaters are dirt-cheap and usually have pretty good shows. Check your local theater for shows that are coming up so you and your guy can make plans. Have dinner beforehand and go out for a drink after the show has finished. Local theater will give you all of the aspects of a real Broadway show without the pricey tickets. Choose a show that you think he will like, but will also give you some romance. There are staples of local theater so try to pick a show that you have heard of. If you are not really a theater guru, check local reviews and go from there.

Make A Day Of It

Dates tend to focus on the night rather than the day. If you want to really have a romantic date, try to have a romantic day. Start in the morning with breakfast in bed with your guy or by going out to your favorite eatery. Spend the day shopping together or running errands around town. Running errands together or shopping for a new outfit that he likes can be very romantic. Decide on somewhere to eat dinner or buy something to cook together that night. Finish your day off by cuddling on the couch and watching a movie together. The keyword throughout all of this was “together.” Make sure that you’re not dragging him around to something that is going to be excruciating. He’s a guy so leave some of your more effeminate errands for a later date.

Romantic date ideas don’t have to be some Hollywood representation of chivalry. Romance for a guy is totally different than romance for you. Although the two can intersect at points, it might be hard to tread the line. It’s important to do something that you want to do also, so don’t make the date all about him. Romantic dates don’t even have to leave you home. Follow these suggestions or make a few tweaks to have a great romantic date.

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Cook Yourself

Cooking yourself is not only a great way to save a little money, it can be much more personal. When you go out to a fancy restaurant, you spend money. When you cook at home, you spend time. Women don’t want to be equated to a monetary value. When you suspend your spending and put some heart into your cooking, she will definitely appreciate it much more than taking her to a new French restaurant where she can’t even read the menu. Get fresh vegetables and fresh meat from the market and let her lounge around the house while you cook dinner. When the dinner is done, clean up yourself after drawing her a bath.

Watch Older Movies

Most women aren’t going to find it romantic if you pop in your copy of Predator. Go to Wal-Mart or Best Buy a couple of days before Valentine’s Day and search through the older movies. Casblanca, Breakfast At Tiffany’s and Gone With The Wind are great for Valentine’s Day. Buy the movie and surprise her with it. Curl up on the couch with a glass of wine to give her a Valentine’s Day she will remember. If you don’t think she’ll be into it, pop in Predator and see what kind of results you get.

Live Music

Obviously you have to treat her to dinner, but a great way to spice up a Valentine’s Day is to take her to a bar that has live music. Almost every city will have a jazz bar in it. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking her to The Blue Note or a local dive where the drummer looks half asleep, she will appreciate this. Even if she isn’t into jazz, the slow rhythms and the aspect of seeing live music will be enough to get her going. Order an expensive drink for her slow dance. Even if you’re not a great slow dancer, indulge her for one night. She will appreciate the sentiment.

Wine Tastings

Valentine’s Day is one of the best days to find local events. A good local event for any wine lover is a tasting. If your girlfriend or wife has the pallete for sophistication, find a local restaurant that having a wine tasting. You might need to do this in advance because Valentine’s Day is pretty popular. For the most part these are relatively inexpensive when done with a winery that is local. You might spend $50 at most to get a reservation.

Play A Couple’s Board Game

A cool way to get closer with your girlfriend or wife is play a couple’s board game. These are designed to bring you closer and build the relationship. You can find couple’s board games at local adult oriented stores or online. Some of the more popular ones are “Battle Of The Sexes” and Sexopoly. Try these out with the lights low and some mood music on to give the evening a more intimate feel. This can be a great Valentine’s Day that she will remember.

Traditional Dinners

A traditional dinner date is not the worst idea that you can come up with. The idea is simple enough, but you need to make it original. When you are planning your dinner date, you probably need to call a week or two in advanced. Plan on having dinner at a restaurant that is quiet. The restaurant should have a dress code. Since it is Valentine’s Day you want to keep things a little classy. No, Chili’s is not a classy Valentine’s Day date. Don’t pick a chain restaurant for your dinner.

Try to find a small restaurant in the middle of the city. These always have intimate settings, but they could be hard to get into if you don’t call far enough in advance. Once you have made the reservation, ask about their wine list. If you don’t know anything about wine, research some of the bottles on the list beforehand so you can know about them when the waiter comes to take your order.

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The world is riddled with people who are always trying to offer up relationships advice. Everybody from your friends, family and even your computer can tell you different ways to approach problems in your relationship.

If you are going through a rough patch and you’re looking for a good way to get things back on track, you are naturally going to overturn every stone in search of an answer. However, there are people that you should avoid when asking about relationship advice. Here are the top 5 people you should avoid when asking for relationship advice.

1. Your Boss

No matter how close you are, you should never ask your boss for any relationship advice. Over the course of time, you and your boss have probably had some long nights in the office together. You probably feel like you can trust them with details of your personal life.

But when you’re going through something with your girlfriend or wife, the last thing that you want to do is take advice from somebody that signs your pay check. Not only are they unqualified, they don’t really know your girlfriend or wife well enough to give you usable advice. Steer clear of your boss when you need relationship advice to keep your professional career on track.

2. Your Mom

Sure, she’s been through it all, but do you really want to ask your mom for relationship advice? Chances are that your mom is going to take your side on every issue and refuse to give you a balanced opinion on the subjects that you’re having issues with. Your mother should be the one that tells you everything is going to be all right, not how to patch things up after fighting with your girlfriend. Avoid your mother no matter how much she tries to pry things out of you.

3. Internet Forums

Internet forums are the worst places to get advice on relationships. No, I’m not talking about a Dear Abby article; I’m talking about places like Yahoo Answers and Wiki Answers. These places are filled with people that will not take your questions seriously. They might even offer bad advice because they think that it’s funny. They also don’t know your wife or girlfriend so they can make snap judgments without knowing all of the facts. Resist posting your questions on Internet forums or Craigslist for any kind of solid relationship advice.

4. TV/Movies

Everybody wants to believe that they have a relationship comparable to that on TV or in a movie. But one of the worst things that you can do is take relationship advice from a TV show or a movie. The reason that the advice they give works out in the end is because of a little thing called a script. The two were supposed to be together in the end for a happy ending. Life doesn’t always work out that way. Don’t take your relationship advice from a procedural or you may find yourself alone in the end.

5. Your Womanizing Friend

Every guy out there has a womanizing friend. He probably picks up girls at every bard or nightclub in the city. He has a silver tongue and he always knows what to say to get a girl’s attention. The problem with the womanizing friend is that he knows little about relationships and more about seduction.

Furthermore, he’s not going to be able to give you solid advice on your relationship because he exists in a different world than you do. He dates a lot of women and doesn’t have a stable relationship. If he were in your shoes, he would break up with her and be done with it. Don’t ever get relationship advice from a player because they will always tell you to break up.

Getting good relationship advice is essential to living a happy and healthy life. If you really do love your girlfriend or wife then you are going to want to make them happy also. If you are in a pinch, consider seeing a marital or relationship counselor. There are hundreds of relationship counselors  in every city that have extensive knowledge of the most common problems that every couple goes through.

If the issues aren’t big enough to enlist the help of a counselor in your area, consult your local bookstore’s relationship section. This should offer you a wide variety of books on how to improve communication, your sex life and understanding her needs. Remember that problems in the relationship are rarely one sided, so get some perspective and try to understand the problem from both ends.

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Do you think you have to work really hard to bring romance (and sex) into your partnership?

Do you think it’s beyond repair?

Watch this FREE video presentation to learn how you can turn even the coldest, most despondent girl into a fun-loving, PASSIONATE SEX ADDICT! All you have to have is your cell phone to do it! As simple and weird as it may seem that your cell phone can turn your partnership around and re-ignite the love, it’s true and it WORKS! The techniques in this video have been tested by tens of thousands of men around the world, were featured on Rachael Ray and are based on simple facts of feminine psychology that you’ve probably never heard before.

Click Here to Watch The Video

When you watch this video, you’ll learn how to make your wife or girlfriend think about you all day, want to be around you all the time, want to go on dates and have fun with you and most of all – want to have AMAZING sex with you! She will want to reward you for your efforts at romance, so she’ll constantly be doing things for you like making your favorite meals or doing things in the bedroom that you only dreamed of doing with her!

Believe it or not, all you have to do is push a few buttons on your cell phone!

Thousands of guys have used these tips all over the world and have found them to be incredibly successful. They were amazed at the transformation their wives and girlfriends went through almost overnight! It’s astounding to watch a cold, “unloving” girl turn into a laughing, joyful and romantic girl – just like when you two first met!

Text The Romance Back is such a powerful tool, you can’t afford to pass it up. If you want to put the spark back in your relationship and make it feel like you and your partner just started dating all over again, Text The Romance back can show you how to do it, step by step.

What You’ll Learn…

• How to make your wife or girlfriend not care about your bad habits and shortcomings (they simply just won’t matter that much anymore)
• How to make all of her anger, resentment, jealousy and negative feelings melt away (she’ll act more like she did when you first met her)
• How to make her fantasize about being with you every moment of the day
• How to make her want to have sex with you so bad she can barely stand it

Believe it or not, Text The Romance Back can change your life! Here are some of the things you can expect your wife or girlfriend to start doing after you use the tips in this FREE video!

• She will go out of her way to do things for you or to make things easier for you
• She will be more willing to cook your favorite foods, wear clothes she knows you think are sexy, etc.
• She will want to submit to you and let you be more in control in the partnership
• Her new favorite thing will be to seduce you and lure you into the bedroom!

Before you get started, you MUST know about the “romance lie” that is preventing you from having the kind of relationship you want with your wife or girlfriend – a happy, exciting, fun-filled and satisfying partnership that is as easy and natural as breathing. You’ve tried your hardest to get there, but you just can’t seem to do it.

So what is preventing you from getting there?

Many guys believe that because they’re “men” that they’re not any good at romance or doing romantic things. They think it’s too difficult to do and often just give up. A lot of guys think that they don’t have the time to be romantic, what with a full-time job, paying the bills, taking care of the kids, etc., etc. They feel like with the every day demands that life brings them, they just don’t have any time for romance.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

The techniques used in Text The Romance Back are SO SIMPLE and SO EASY that you could literally do them on your way to work or even on your lunch break – and have your wife or girlfriend leaping into your arms when you get home!

What You DON’T Have To Do…

• Recite silly poetry
• Spend a lot of money
• Buy jewelry, cards, flowers or chocolate
• Dress up in silly outfits to go out on the town
• Humor her by watching girly movies
• Do ANYTHING but use your cell phone!

So could it really be that easy?

Could it really be as simple as using your cell phone to wake up your partner’s excitement?

YES!

If you’ve noticed that the spark has faded from your relationship and you’ve become more like roommates or co-parents than lovers and best friends, then you NEED Text The Romance Back!

Think about it….

Have you noticed that the girl who once showered you with love and affection barely talks to you throughout the day?

Has it been a long time since she’s given you a deep, soulful embrace or even said “I love you?”

Does she nag you over and over about chores to be done rather than sharing her intimate thoughts with you like she used to?

You don’t have to say goodbye to the romance forever! Even if you and your partner have been together for years or even decades, you can get the romance back into your relationship quickly and easily. You’ll be walking around so elated and happy that other guys will be DYING to know what you did to turn your relationship around!

Nothing else is as powerful or as EASY to get your wife or girlfriend back into the relationship and get your relationship where it needs to be. You will both be happy, excited, blissed out and sexually satisfied, all just by using your cell phone!

Can you afford NOT to do that?

Then CLICK HERE to learn how your cellular phone is the easiest and simplest way to make your woman want to have sex with you day and night, without fail!

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Every new relationship takes time to hit its stride. If you’ve been dating a new girl for a little while the two of you are probably wondering where the relationship is going. Many of us have been deceived in the past. Saying one thing and meaning another is pretty common in relationships. So how do you know if she really is in love?

The answer is not so simple, but there are key signs that you can look for. The majority of the time, determining if she is in love with you can be done pretty quickly.

1. She Does What You Want To Do

A girl that puts you ahead of herself is a sure sign that she is in love. This doesn’t mean that she’s going to jump in front of a bullet, but if she doesn’t mind doing something that you want to do instead of what she wants to do she’s probably in love. Women that are not experiencing that aren’t going to take an interest in your life, friends or family.

They will usually not budge when it comes to the movie they want to see or a dinner date preference. If she is in love, she will be as accommodating as you are. Remember that relationships are partnerships and neither of you should get your way every time.

2. She Surprises You

Being in love with somebody is all about the little things. If your girlfriend comes home with a little surprise for you every once in a while, they are probably in love. This doesn’t have to be some grandiose gift, but if she saw something at the store that made her think about you and she bought it, you can assume that she’s in love.

Surprising you with something that you’ve talked about in the past but haven’t gotten for yourself is a clear sign. Surprising you with a dinner or a night out to a ball game that you’ve wanted to see is another key indicator to keep in mind.

3. She Gets Physical With You

The physical relationship can be just as important as the emotional relationship. When a girl is experiencing those feelings, she will probably not be able to stop touching you. This doesn’t mean that she’s having sex with you every five seconds, but that she takes your hand, runs her fingers through your hair or curls up next to you on the couch.

When a girl is getting physical with you, there is trust. You should be able to tell if she’s falling for you based on the amount of physicality that she’s displaying.

4. She Knows What Makes You Tick

Have you ever had a horrible day and then come home and everything seems like it’s going to be all right? When a woman is love with you she can almost sense what’s making you grouchy and how to make it better. Believe it or not, most women know how to make a man happy. Choosing to make you happy is another story.

When a woman is falling for you, she will know exactly what it takes to bring you 180 degrees back to your fun loving self. Whether this is through flirting, encouraging words or a pat on the back, a girl that is head over heels will know exactly what makes you tick.

5. She Talks About The Future

The future is something that the both of your should be thinking about. If she loves you, she will bring up the future. The future doesn’t have to be kids, marriage or the white picket fence. This could be a trip that’s a month down the road or holiday plans a couple of months in advance.

When a woman is head over heels, she will talk about the future to try to gauge what you think about it. When you’re in love with her, you should also be taking about the future. Planning the future is a very clear sign that she has fallen for you.

Knowing when a girl is love with you can be a blessing. Having the ability to gauge whether or not she is happy in the relationship can give you an edge. There is nothing worse than telling somebody that you love them and then having them stare at you blankly. Knowing these signs should help you recognize how important you are to your girlfriend to move the relationship forward.

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My girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship. Our communication is great! We’re totally open and honest about everything. She kind of dropped a bomb . She feels like a guy in a girl’s body. She’s talking about becoming flat chested, and actually having the surgery. I have no idea how to deal with this. What should I do? I really need some relationship advice!

–YouTube Viewer

What should you do? Besides run for the hills?

Seriously though, this is a simple question with no simple answer. This is super complex. The real question is: is this the relationship you want? If yes or no, the answer’s totally okay. If you’re not into this, it doesn’t make you a bad person.

Ask Yourself Some Questions First

This is one of those things to REALLY think through before you do or say anything about it. Seek relationship advice from trusted people, but also really dig deep within yourself. Is she serious? Is it a joke? Has she been dropping “manly” hints? Is this just a way for her to express her dominant, more masculine side? Maybe this is something a little strap on play could cure? Would that scratch her itch? We all have masculine and feminine elements to our personality, regardless of our gender.

It’s a yin and yang sort of thing. Maybe her yang or her yin are out of whack and she needs to get them balanced. If so, we have two words for you: strap on. And no, it doesn’t make you gay if you left your girlfriend have anal sex with you via a strap on. But it will make you sore for a few days (at least the first time) so be sure to use lots and lots of lube.

A lot of people say things, but does that mean they’re going to do it? Usually no. So just because she said this to you, doesn’t mean you necessarily have anything to worry about. At least not yet. There’s really only one way and one way alone to find out for sure.

Talking To Her

Don’t be critical, be honest and open. If you’re not interested in being in that relationship, say so. This is a pretty serious and profound issue and not everyone is going to be okay with their partner changing genders on them. Have an open and honest conversation about this, one free of judgement or labels or anything that could ruffle feathers or rub either party the wrong way. Discussing any issue with your partner open and honestly without criticism is probably the best relationship advice you’re ever going to get.

What do you do? Nothing. Wait and see. Find out if she’s serious. If she is, you’ll know. Most people talk and talk and talk and talk about doing things, but few people ever actually do them. How many overweight people do you know who talk about losing weight in January who are actually slimmer in December? Not that many.

Most people are all talk and no action when it comes to losing weight and that doesn’t involve surgery to their genitals! Imagine what the completion rate is on people who talk about sex changes versus the people who actually go through with it? It’s probably really, really super small. So you can most likely breathe easy.

If She Really Wants To Do It

If she continues to talk about this subject and continues to express interest in a sex change, it’s not going to be so easy to brush it off. If you come to a point through conversations with her, listening to her and observing her behavior that you believe she’s really serious about it, it’s time for you to sit down and think seriously about it.

Think about whether you are okay with this – and it’s perfectly fine if you’re not. It’s also perfectly fine if you are. Really sit down and think about what YOU want and how YOUR life will be affected by this. Disregard any thoughts that come up about how other people (like your family and friends) may react to this. that should not weigh in your decision at ALL. You may surprise yourself on how you feel about it. Then again, you might not.

If you decide to move on from this relationship, don’t give yourself a hard time. A lot of guys would. Explain to her the truth without criticism and after the break up, wish her well on her journey of self discovery. If you decide to be with her, then fine. Just don’t throw it up in her (or his) face later. Accept it or don’t – there’s not really a grey area here.

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When you first met your girlfriend, you probably did a lot for her. Surprise dates combined with little gifts and dinner at her favorite restaurant. Over time, the romance can take a nosedive and the relationship can go stale fairly quickly. I’m sure that she still loves you and you still love her, but when a night on the couch becomes the norm, it’s probably time to get a quick shot of romance. Romance can be another language to a guy, but there are a few things that you can do to get the juices flowing in the relationship again. Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Plan Surprise Dates

Surprise dates are very romantic. Surprise dates usually come at the beginning of relationships for a reason. They are fun and they can be very exciting. Call your wife or girlfriend while they are at work and tell them that you want to take them out for dinner. When they ask where, just say that it’s a surprise. This will instantly get them into a romantic mood. Now make a reservation at a restaurant that you have wanted to try or the first place you had dinner together. If your first date was at a Chili’s you might want to change the venue.

2. Make Her Breakfast

A great to breath a little romance into the relationship is to make her breakfast before she goes to work. Get up early and cook her favorite breakfast. When she wakes up she will smell it cooking in the kitchen. This surprise will make her feel special and appreciated. She will surely wake up with a smile and leave for work happy that she’s with you. Not only will she feel appreciated by the gesture, she will appreciate you for taking the time to do something for her.

3. Send Flowers To Her Work

This is generally done on her birthday or on your anniversary, but doing it on a Tuesday for no reason is also a great way to be more romantic. Women love flowers, but they love having the entire office know that somebody loves them. When a coworker walks by and asks what the occasion is, she can tell them that there wasn’t one. This will make her feel special and she’ll think about you all day while at work.

4. Take A Day Trip

Taking a day trip is a great way to have some alone time together. If you live a couple of hours away from a beach or the mountains, you can easily wake up and take a day trip together. Being away from your every day life and hitting the road will bring you closer and allow you to spend quality time together instead of watching TV. Decide on a couple of places to stop during your day trip and take in the local scenery.

5. Get A Hotel Room

A great way to be romantic is to get a hotel room together in the heart of the nearest city. Sometimes a change of venue can bring a little romance back into the relationship. Get dressed up and have drinks around the city. Go to the nearest bars or clubs and spend the night somewhere other than your own home. This will bring you closer and break up the monotony of spending the night in your bed.

6. Call In Sick Together

She might need a little convincing, but get her to call in sick with you. Calling in sick can be spontaneous and extremely romantic. Spend the entire day in bed together or make a day out of working on a project you have been putting off. Calling in sick on a Friday takes this a step further by giving you a long weekend.

7. Spend One Night A Week Without TV

TV can be a relationship killer. Sitting in front of the TV night after night can make the relationship stale. When your TV shows start to be the only thing you have in common, you should take the TV out of your life for at least one night. Turn off the TV and talk to each other. Talk about future plans or play a couple’s game to bring the romance back into your relationship.

Relationships take work. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over and expect the relationship to sustain itself. By being more romantic you can show her that you really do love her. Being more romantic will bring the spark back into the relationship and keep some of the spontaneity in your connection.

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Clean Your House

Cleaning your house can be one of the best ways to get over a break up. Take everything that the person gave you and put it in a closet. Don’t throw it away because you might need it some day. Pictures and other gifts that your ex-girlfriend gave you can bring back memories and make you feel even worse. Put them out of sight so that you aren’t thinking about the break up every time that you walk into your living room. You might feel like you’re betraying her for some reason by removing pictures or placing other things she gave you in a closet, but this will pass.

Update Your Facebook

Remove here from your Facebook account and set the “In A Relationship” setting to “Single.” You can’t do this fast enough after a break up has occurred. One of the reasons that you must do this immediately is because you could still get updates from her account every time that you log in. This can be a quick stab to the eye with a quick click of the mouse. Removing her Facebook doesn’t have to be malicious, but it’s better to do it to her first than have her do it to you.

Get Out

Sitting around the house and wallowing in your sorrows is only going to make you feel worse. Get out of the house and hang around with friends. Going through a break up alone will extend the healing process. Get out of the house and go to a friend’s house or spend time with your family. Friends and family will be considerate of what you’re going through. They can give you a shoulder to cry on and perspective on why the break up happened.

Consider Idealization

One of the biggest problems with a break up is that over time we can idealize the relationship. We idealize the good parts and tend to forget why the relationship failed in the first place. Instead of thinking about trips that you took together or holidays, think about all of the problems that you had. This will help you realize that she wasn’t right for you. Look forward to a future where you won’t have all of the problems that you did with her and you will gain a little perspective on why you broke up.

Take Up A Hobby

A great way to get over a break up is to put all of the energy that you had in your previous relationship into a hobby. Taking up a sport or focusing on your work is a good way to have goals. When you implement goals into your life, you will be able to spend more time on obtaining them. Team sports can work really well because they get you out of the house and around other people.

Set A Timeline

Set up a timeline for when you want to go on another date. We all need a cooling period after a break up, but you also need to get back into the saddle when you feel comfortable. Setting up a timeline will allow you to grieve for the previous relationship, but also puts you on track to start seeing other people. If your relationship was over two years, you could need up to 5 months to really be over it. If you reach the end of your timeline and you’re still not ready to start seeing somebody, give yourself more time. This is not a setback; it’s simply an extension.

Don’t Do A Comparison

Don’t compare new girls in your life to your ex-girlfriend. You broke up with your ex so she wasn’t good enough for you. There were problems with that relationship and it’s over now. Just because your ex hurt you doesn’t mean that another girl will. Have a fresh perspective on new girls and give them the trust and respect that they deserve. Don’t let your guard down completely, but you don’t want to have somebody paying for the mistakes that an ex made.

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We have all been there. You go out with a guy a couple of times and things are great for the first two dates. After the third date things are kind of bland and by the fourth date you know that this is not somebody that you want to be with. One of the most heartbreaking aspects of this scenario is the fact that he’s still into you. Knowing how to break up with him without hurting his feelings can be a weight off of your shoulders. When done properly, you might even still be able to maintain a friendship. Here are a few ways that you break up with him without hurting his feelings.

Nip It In The Bud

A lot of women feel like the man that they’re dating could come around so they try to stick it out. This is not something that should be recommended. Even if he is really nice, you need to break up as soon as you know that he’s not right for you. Doing it in the beginning will save him a lot of heartache in the end. Dragging the relationship out because you feel like you might grow to love him is selfish. Not breaking up with him is selfish also. By breaking up with you are doing him a favor.

Avoid Clichés

“It’s not you…it’s me” and “You’ll find somebody” are patronizing and he could get very offended. When a guy gets offended he get defensive. The last thing that you want is a defensive man that starts verbally attacking everything about you. Just explain to him that you think he’s a great man, but that he’s not right for you. This is an easy way to say that you’re not interested and there’s not much he can do about it. Since you haven’t been seeing him for very long, he shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

Be Specific

Using vague statements like “I’m looking for something different” is not enough. When you tell him that he’s not right for you, explain why. Whether it be that you want a partner that wants kids and marriage or that you need someone that is a little more romantic, specifics are best for a break up. This gives him a clear reason of why you don’t want to continue the relationship. You don’t have to attack him or his personality, but make sure that he understands why you are breaking up.

Don’t Be Overly Apologetic

Only say “I’m sorry” once. You’re not taking his house away from him; you’re breaking up with him. Since you’ve only been out with the fella a few times his world isn’t going to pieces. Don’t act like you are the end all and that he’s never going to find another person. Just say, “I’m sorry that we didn’t work out” and leave it at that. When you start apologizing profusely he’s going to think that you’re obsessed with yourself. Statements like “It’s not like you’re Heidi Klum” might come up if you show an inflated ego.

Don’t Stick Around

One of the worst things that you can do is ask him out to dinner when you’re breaking up with him. Don’t put yourself into the situation of having an obligation after you deliver the news. Ask him out for a drink or go over to his house. If you ask him over to your home, you might have to ask him to leave. Always have an escape route. If you stick around he might just try to change your mind. Make it clear that you have no interest in seeing him again and then leave the situation.

Trying To Be Friends

If you have left the situation amicably then you’re in the minority. Most men do not want to be friends with girls they have dated in the past. However, if he wants to still be friends with you, give it a little distance. Remaining friends with a man after you have dated is an honorable thing to do, but if you agree to this you should definitely keep out of touch for a little while. When you break up with a guy, the game begins. A girl that breaks up with a guy is a challenge and men love challenges. Keep the phone calls, text messages and emails to a minimum. Checking up on him can make you seem like his mother and that’s not needed either. Let him live his life after the break up. Don’t let guilt get the best of you. Furthermore, you should be out living your own life instead of worrying about how he’s doing.

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Nobody wants to play the jealous boyfriend, but at one point or another you might find your mind wandering into scary territory. “Is she cheating or am I crazy?” This question comes up too often and it’s hard to determine for some women. The fear of your girlfriend cheating is enough to make any man shake with terror. The fact of the matter is that most women do not cheat. If they are not happy in the relationship, they will probably just break up with you. However, there are a percentage of women who do fall prey to their temptation. Fortunately, there are some very common trends in women who do cheat. Here are a couple of signs that can keep you on the lookout the next time your questions arise.

Her Age

Younger girls are more adept to play games. That’s not to say that an older woman will not stray, but younger girls have little commitment even if they say that they are committed. If your girlfriend is turning 25, 30 or 35 watch for signs of a crisis. These are the ages that women start to question everything about themselves. Have you ever heard a woman say something like “5 years ago I wouldn’t have done this?” Well, 5 years ago she may not have cheated. Ask your partner if she is happy in the relationship and assure her that you are. Make sure that she knows you would never have an affair and wait for her to assure you. If she doesn’t tell you that she would never cheat, get rid of her.

Job Changes

Job changes are a sign that she might be in a place to cheat on you. When a woman starts making more money or she’s put in a higher position at work, she can feel the power. She might feel like you’re yesterday’s news, especially if she’s making more money than you. One of the best ways to combat her new sense of entitlement is to tell her how proud you are of her. Brag about the promotion and let her know that she’s made a big accomplishment. This will give her the emotional support that she needs. If she starts staying at her job late at night after the first 3 months, you might want to consider whether or not she’s actually “working.” Get details when she works late. Find out what she was doing, but don’t make it obvious. Tell her that you want more time together and see what she says. If she gets defensive, something is definitely up.

She’s Put The Brakes On The Relationship

Remember when she used to call you at work just to see how your day is going? When was the last time that happened? If your romance has come to a complete halt, it’s probably time to be concerned. Get together with her and ask what is going on. Confronting the problem is the best way to move past it. The problem might not even have anything to do with you. Talk it out with her and decide on the best course of action. If she says that there’s not a problem with the relationship, offer to take a weekend trip so you can rekindle the romance. If she’s not interested, take caution. She might be seeing somebody or she’s been cheating.

You Haven’t Had Sex In A Couple Of Weeks

Sex is a pretty big part of the relationship. If you aren’t having sex, there are a couple of things that might be going on. One of the possibilities is that she’s not cheating and she’s just not interested in pursuing the relationship any further. The other possibility is that she is cheating and she’s saving all of her sexual attention for the new guy. Before you storm in and accuse her of anything, talk to her. She might have something going on with her vagina that she’s too embarrassed to tell you about. Assure her that you just want to know what the problem is. Women tend to without sex is there are deeper issues in the relationship so be prepared to talk through other issues when you bring this up. If she tells you there is nothing wrong after repeatedly asking her, assume the worst.

Cheating happens. There’s nothing that we can do to avoid getting cheated on, but diagnosing a cheater can be fairly easy when you put the relationship under a microscope. Always express concern before you accuse your girlfriend of cheating on you. If you accuse her of cheating and she’s not, she could lose all respect for you.

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Being used can be devastating to the ego and your self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship –whether budding or established and you thin that he might be taking advantage of you, you’re probably right. There are a lot of reasons that men use women. Sex is the one that most women think of, but there are others. Men cherish their self-image and having a great looking girl by their side is one of the biggest statements he can make while in public. A beautiful woman is a sign of success and power. This is a coveted feature of any man’s life, but he may only have superficial interest in you.

1. You Can Tell That He Doesn’t Really Care

Does he ask how your day was when you walk through the door? If he does, can you tell that he’s actually interested in what you did for the last 12 hours of your life? If you sense disinterest in your work, your family or your passions, he’s probably taking advantage of you. A guy that takes a genuine interest in all of these aspects is going to respect you and really care about what is going on.

2. He’s Uncompromising

When it comes to making a choice about dinner plans or going to see a movie, does he take an interest in what you want to do? If not, he’s definitely taking advantage of you or he’s a sociopath. Neither of these is good and you should probably move on. You want a man that is going to compromise with what you want and what he wants to do.

3. He’s Cold Out Of The Bedroom

If things are frigid unless you’re under the sheets, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s wants you for sex. A man that is genuinely affectionate outside of the bedroom and in public can’t help but to show how much he cares about you. Ditch one that is only interested in a connection in the bedroom.

4. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

A guy that really cares about you is going to show that you’re the only girl on his mind. If you’re dating a fella that buys you generic gifts on your birthday or blows you off to spend time with his friends, he probably wants you as a backup plan. Get rid of him and get with one that will make you feel like the only girl he’s thinking about.

5. He’s Not Concerned With The Future

No man should ever talk about marriage within the first couple of months, but if your guy isn’t talking about taking trips or possible future plans, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are genuinely interested in a long-term relationship will want to make the appropriate comments signaling this interest. If your man is not talking about the future, you need to ask him if he wants a long-term commitment.

6. He Doesn’t Text Or Call You Back

If you send a text to your guy, what is his typical response time? Does he apologize if he doesn’t respond in a timely manner? If he takes a day or two to get back to you, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are interested won’t leave you hanging.

7. You’ve Only Been On One Date

This is a huge red flag. If the only date that you’ve gone on was the first date, you can be fairly sure that he’s just taking advantage of you. Even if you’re not sleeping with him, he probably just wants you as somebody to hang out with when he has nothing else to do. Traditionally, men want to wine and dine women so be on the lookout for a man that has no interest in taking you on a proper date.

8. He’s Disrespectful

A man should always treat a lady as a lady. If he is disrespectful to you, he just wants you until you hit the breaking point. No man should ever treat a woman as anything other than an equal. Remember this the next time he makes a disrespectful remark.

9. He Hasn’t Introduced You To His Family

If you have only been dating for a couple of weeks, you can let this one slide. But if you have been together for a couple of months and you still haven’t met his parents, there is something else going on. A man wants to have the approval of his parents. Dump him if he refuses to introduce you to his parents.

10. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Family

If he avoids meeting your family, this is another red flag. Meeting your family is a big deal. Looking your father in the eye while he inquires about his intentions with you is a staple of every relationship. If your guy refused to meet your family, it’s time to move on.

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A workplace romance can be detrimental to your professional life and career. There is no getting around this. Dating somebody who you work is never a good idea. Most workplace romance takes place with young professionals. Busy work schedules can lead to a lot of time spend with others in your office. Naturally you are going to get close with the girl from sales, but you need to realize what you may be doing to the way that other people in the office see you. Not having the time to meet people outside of the office is a common excuse, but recognizing that this is a recipe for disaster is the first step in avoiding these situations at all costs. Here is a quick guide on how to avoid flirting on the job.

The Signs

The first step in avoiding flirting on the job is to recognize the signs that one is beginning. If you’re getting really close with somebody from work, make sure that you aren’t being overly flirtatious. Being playful with somebody that you work with can be fun and can make the day go by faster, but being overly flirtatious can give them the wrong idea entirely. Take a step back and look for the signs that you are falling into a workplace romance before it even begins.

Make A Commitment

Make a commitment to yourself that you’re not going to enter into a workplace romance. Telling yourself that you’re not going to do something is a good way to avoid it. When you make this commitment, you will be letting yourself down if you break it. This is entirely different than make a commitment to your employer. Most employers frown on romance on the job and this could lead to a very awkward exchange between you, the girl and the HR department.

Think The Worst

The best outcome to a workplace romance could be that you date for a little while, get engaged and then get married. But what about the worst? Have you thought about getting fired? What about if this girl claims sexual harassment? Putting these situations aside, how you would you feel if you were passed up for a promotion because you were dating a girl that would be your subordinate? Always think about the worst thing that could happen to avoid work place romance.

Keep Personal Emails To A Minimum

Emails are a standard for a lot of businesses. Memos, promotional material and other business copy are sent through emails. But what should you do if you get a personal email from a girl that is not exactly “business oriented?” Respond to it with language that cannot be misconstrued. If the emails keep coming, ignore them and have a chat with the girl so she knows that it makes you uncomfortable. Emails have a way a of surfacing even after they are deleted so keep this mind before you that “Send” button.

Business Trips

Business trips can be a lot of fun. Most companies will send their employees to different conferences around the country to get them oriented with the latest technology or techniques in their field. However, business trips can also lead to romance. Sitting at the hotel bar with a coworker sharing stories from college or discussing former relationships can make sparks fly. If you see this coming, avoid the situation by heading back to your room early.

Get Out

One of the best methods to avoiding a workplace romance is to have a non-workplace romance. Being in a relationship will cut all of the funny business out of your real business. Make time to get out and meet people other than those that you work with. Join a gym or just get together with friends and head out one night a week. Making an effort to meet people other than those that you work with will put you in a position to meet a girl that will not affect your professionalism.

We have all heard the horror stories of a workplace romance. Some of the outcomes can even be scary. Dating on the job can easily ruin your credibility within a business and there are countless people who have changed jobs specifically because of this. If you love your job then you shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice it on a fling. Be careful during business trips and recognize the signs before a workplace romance begins. Following these simple guidelines will allow you to avoid flirting on the job and keep you in good standing with your employer.

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Give Him A Massage

After a long day at work your guy probably just want to hang out and watch some TV with you. If you want to get the romance started, give him a massage. A massage is physical and we all know how men respond to physicality. Buy some cheap massage oil from a drug store or a department store like Kmart. This will only cost you a few bucks and it can go a long way in showing your guy how much you care about him.

Lay In Bed All Day

Despite their manly exterior, a guy loves staying in bed all day with his significant other. Get a couple of movies and lay around together on a Sunday. Sundays work best because it will help you recharge your batteries for the upcoming week. When the movie is finished, lay in bed and just have a conversation about the future. Talking about your goals and what you want as a future together can be a very romantic.

Take A Bath Together

Turn out all of the lights and fire up some candles. Draw a nice hot bath and let the water brush over both of your bodies. Turn on some music and rub his shoulders as you sit together. The light of the candles and the music will give you a most romantic ambiance.

Do Something You’ve Never Done Together

Have you always wanted to go to that weird art gallery down the street from your house? Have you always wanted hike a trail together? Being together as you try new things can give you memories that will last. Decide on something that the two of you have always talked about doing and actually do it.

Cook Something Together

Cooking can be very sensual and romantic. When you cook together, you use teamwork. If neither of you can cook, you can share a laugh at the final product. When the meal has been made, you can sit together eating the fruits of your labor. After you finish eating, both of you should clean up. Remember, we’re talking about teamwork so both of you should have a part in it.

Take A Short Road Trip Together

Being out on the road can be very romantic. Choose a place that is close to your house so you aren’t spending very much money on gas or a hotel room. A day trip can bring you close together and the drive will give you time to talk. A very cheap road trip could be to a field outside your city to look at the stars. Bring a blanket and lay it down in the field. Turn on your car radio for some music and lay together under the night’s sky.

Leave Secret Notes For Him

Before you leave for the day, leave a little note for your guy telling him how much you love him. When he finds this, he will feel good for the rest of the day. To take it a step further, leave a note for him in a place that he will find it later on in the day. The inside pocket of a suit jacket works very well.

Romance doesn’t have to die out after the first 6 months of your relationship. You can easily keep it going by being proactive. Relationships are work and there is no doubting this. However, you don’t have to spend a ton of money to show your guy how much you care about him. You can do it on the cheap and get the same, if not better results in the process. Super cheap romance is a way to show your guy that you value him personally and not monetarily. Implement these suggestions into your relationship and you should get the romance flowing once again.

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Making a relationship “work” is tough enough, actually making it a happy and blissful relationship to be in is a whole different story! It takes effort on both partners to make the other feel loved, wanted, appreciated and enjoyed. There will, no doubt, be conflicts along the way, but if you consciously try to make an effort to be more romantic and more loving, your partnership will benefit a great deal. Remember, a lot of the time, it’s the little things that count the most!

If your relationship could use a dose of romance, check out our best tips of the year & keep the fire alive in your relationship!

• How To Compliment A Girl And Make Her Melt (Video)
• How To Get Her To Fall In Love With You (Video)
• Top 5 Ways To Keep Your Woman Happy
• Top 5 Reasons Not To Cheat
• Make Her Fall In Love With You – Using Only Words! (Video)

Don’t forget to take a look at some of our all time favorite romance articles. Whether you’re trying to find a creative and romantic way to tell your partner that you care about them, or you want to steer clear of behavior that will wreak havoc on your long term relationship, these tips will really come in handy if you want a blissful union.

• 10 Creative Ways To Say “I Love You” Without Saying A Word (Video)
• Top Things Women Do To Screw Up A Long Term Relationship
• Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A Long Term Relationship
• 3 Ways To Plan A Romantic Evening
• 4 Romantic Things To Do For Your Boyfriend
• How To Tell Her You Love Her – 5 Romantic Ideas

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Do you find yourself CRAVING more romance in your relationship?

Think your man is simply “not” romantic?

The free video presentation on this page will show you a simple but staggeringly effective method for using tiny little text messages to wake up the “secret romantic” in any man, even if you have kids, work too much, “don’t have time” or if he seems like a “romantic numbskull” now. The techniques in this video have been tested by tens of thousands of women around the world, were featured on Rachael Ray and are based on simple facts of masculine psychology that you’ve probably never heard before.

Click Here to Watch The Video

Warning: Make sure to watch the entire presentation to find out why other attempts to “bring back the romance” in your relationship have failed, why your he secretly craves romance and closeness more than you think (or than he’ll admit) and how to have him craving you, thinking about you and counting down the moments until he gets to see you just by pushing a few buttons on his cell phone.

Is He A Lost Cause?

No Way! Lots of women out there are stuck with guys who have let every bit of romance seep out of them throughout the course of their relationship. Also, let’s not forget about the girls who are stuck with guys who never had an ounce of romance in them to begin with!

Even if your man is the most romantically challenged guy in the world and couldn’t compliment his way out of a paper bag, you can TEACH HIM HOW to say the sweetest things using 1 simple tool that you already have.

So what is this incredible secret to getting your guy to be more romantic than you’ve ever seen him?

Your phone!

Believe it or not, you can use something as easy and simple as your cellular phone to put the romance BACK into your relationship – even if your man never really was romantic at all to begin with!

Text The Romance Back is the ONLY resource out there that teaches women how to use their phones to turn their relationships into something from the movies – or a fairy tale!

What You’ll Learn:

• The REAL secret reason he never takes you out or surprises you anymore (it’s NOT what you think – OR what he told you!)
• How to use simple text messages to turn your guy into a secret Prince Charming!
• How to get him thinking about you ALL day
• How to make him CRAVE YOU – he won’t be able to help but sweep you off your feet!

The best part? There’s no “sexting” required! We’re not talking about texting your guy about how much you want to give him head in a last ditch effort to get him to pay attention to you. This is completely different!

After you watch this FREE VIDEO (from the Rachael Ray Show), you’ll know how to make your guy transform into the sweetest man you’ve ever met, almost overnight!

“It worked on me and he’s not even mine!” — Rachael Ray

Your girlfriends will BEG you to share your secret with them – they’ll wonder how you turned your guy from a dud to a complete Casanova!

By actually following the tips in Text The Romance Back, you’ll be able to:

• Make him think about you NON-STOP!
• Make him miss you and crave you when you’re not around
• Make him count down the moments until he gets to hold you in his arms again

Your “new” man will:

• Make sure you constantly feel loved and connected to him
• Get addicted to romance in a way you never thought possible!
• Seduce you every chance he gets

Once you watch this FREE VIDEO, you’ll learn the #1 BIGGEST reason you feel more like your boyfriend or husband is your roommate instead of your lover.

You’ll learn that the myths that you don’t have time for romance or that guys just don’t like romance are just that – BIG, FAT LIES!

The truth is, almost ALL men have a sweet side!

And any woman can wake up her guy’s passionate side with just a few clicks on her phone!

So are YOU ready for him to start treating you like the prize you are?

Do you want him to sweep you off your feet, romance you and cherish you in his actions every single day?

Are you ready for the relationship THAT YOU DESERVE?

Then CLICK HERE to learn how your cellular phone is the easiest and simplest way to make your man want to romance you day and night, without fail!

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What She Said:

Ah, there’s nothing better than finding love – especially when it’s “the one.” Contrast and compare this list with your lover to find out if you’re on the way to “forever.”

• You Agree On “The Big Four.” It’s important to be on the same page as you navigate your life together. Some of the biggest situations that can shake even the most solid couples include: whether or not to have kids, religion, finances and in-laws. Kids: do you both agree on whether or not to have them? Do you share similar views on spirituality? Do you share the same values about spending and saving money? What are your boundaries about each other’s families? It’s a surer sign for longevity if you’re in agreement on these big issues.
• Attraction. Of course you’ve been attracted to other lovers, but there’s something extra special about this person. It’s indefinable, but you know it when you feel it. It’s that palpable, joyful sense that your bodies fit together like no one else before.
• You’re Best Friends. As much as you’re having fun between the sheets, you also need to enjoy each other outside of the bedroom. When you’ve met “the one” you’ll share compatibility both in and out of the sack. You need the bond of deep friendship to carry you through the ups and downs – and you want someone who truly has your back.
• You Love Each Other Unconditionally. The first heady months of romance are amazing – but you know you’re with “the one” when you embrace each other’s faults and stick around anyway. “The one” will love you when you’re sick or crabby – as much as he or she will when you’re presenting your best self.
• There’s No Drama. We’ve all had those tumultuous relationships. They’re gut wrenching and often passionate – but they’re not built for the long haul. A relationship with “the one” will flow easily because you both know it’s right. Not to say there won’t be challenges – but the challenges won’t include tears of despair.

What He Said:

• It’s More Than Just Sex. And more than making love, though you’re doing that too. The point is you like each other in and out of the sheets. The one is as much fun with their clothes on as off.
• The Sex Is Really Good, Though. The sex should be electric. Sex includes flirting, foreplay, everything. You both should be really good in terms of sexual compatibility. If you’re kinky as hell and she’s straight vanilla, it’s not going to work. Sorry. She won’t be talked into S&M and/or swinging. Not so much. Or if she’s kinky and he’s not, still not doable. But if you’re both into S&M and swinging, that right there is a damn good time and a damn good level of compatibility.
• You’ve Seen The “Real” Them, And You Don’t Want To Kill Them. If anything, not only should you really like who they are, all their nervous quirks and ticks should seem cute or hot or adorable to you. Granted, they will begin to drive you up the wall at some point, but that’s for later. Hopefully, much, much later.
• You’re A Lot Alike. Opposites attract, but they rarely stay together in long term relationships. Sure, it’s natural for you to be good at things that your partner is bad at and vice versa, but if you’re a hardcore vegan and he’s Ted Nugent, how’s that going to work? Ted Nugent needed himself a gun toting, right wing, kill it and grill it type of woman and he found her. And they’re happier than pigs in mud.

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I’m due to get married in a couple months, but I’m starting to have doubts. I don’t feel I’m as excited as I should be about the big day. This is the last person I’m going to sleep with FOREVER! What’s the difference between cold feet and making a huge mistake?

What She Said:

What kind of doubts? Little ones like, “Will I be able to live with a man who leaves his dirty clothes in a pile by the bed?” or big ones like, “Do I love this person and will I be happy for the rest of my life with him or her?” As you can see, it’s a wide chasm between what constitutes a doubt!

Cold Feet Are Normal

Cold feet are a time honored pre-wedding condition. It’s a big commitment – and an even bigger life change – that you’re lining up for yourself. Who wouldn’t feel a little scared? Even the most wildly in love couples are capable of feeling a tad apprehensive as they approach the altar.

No one wants to think about divorce on his or her wedding day – in fact, if you’re already contemplating an exit strategy, I think you have your answer. But the thought can provide a little levity. While there’s no discounting the magnitude of this decision, it is something that can be undone if you do ultimately decide you’ve made a “huge” mistake.

Be Honest With Yourself

That said it’s time to take a deep breath and be honest with you. Weddings are notoriously stressful events to plan. Is your lack of excitement due to feeling overwhelmed with everything from whom to choose as your bridesmaid to suddenly trying to meet the every demand of your family? Or is it something much deeper? Only you can discern what’s bothering you.

Are You In Love?

A huge mistake would be to marry someone you’re not in love with. It would also be devastating to tie the knot with someone who treats you badly before you’re even hitched. A ceremony won’t make any problems you’re having as a couple go away – in fact, it will only heighten them. If you’re truly in love and in a good relationship, a case of cold feet is merely jitters that will most likely smooth out by the time you cut the cake.

What He Said:

Thinking you can do anything for the rest of your life is impossible. If you focus on doing it today, then that’s very doable. It’s attainable. Focus not on the fact that you’re only going to be screwing one person for the rest of your life but rather on having the best sex you can with that person today and go from there.

Taking It Day By Day

It’s the same process for the rest of your relationship with that person. You’re probably freaking out over the fact that you don’t know if you can be in a relationship with them for the rest of your life. Just focus on having the best relationship you can with them today. Then go to bed. Then repeat. Then repeat. And repeat. And when in doubt, repeat. See a pattern?

You probably aren’t in line for an arranged marriage. You probably won’t say “I do” against your will. And you’re probably not marrying someone two dates in. That means you’ve been doing this relationship thing for a while with them and you obviously see something in them or you wouldn’t have been doing this for this long. So there must be something good to it. So relax, take a few deep breaths and throw the bridal bouquet at a really old lady and watch all the young women trample her. It’ll be loads of fun. Promise.

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What She Said:

Getting over an ex is never fun – but with the right breakup advice, it doesn’t have to be complete torture. Be gentle with yourself while you process what you just went through; but don’t wallow. There’s someone great waiting out there for you. Dry your eyes and follow these tips. You’ll be tripping through the daisies with someone new in no time!

Embrace The Old Adage

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. It’s tried and true. Be sure you’re emotionally ready to share your body with someone and practice safe sex. If you’re ready, you’ll find having a fun fling will help you begin to release the memory of your previous lover.

Lean On Your Friends

This is what friends are for! Call, email, text and lament. You need to vent. You need to process. Just be sure to keep your boundaries. Leaning on pals during tough times is good. Making their ears bleed six months down the line because you can’t shake your feelings is bad.

Wine & Time

There’s no better breakup advice than curling up with a delicious glass of Pinot Noir and contemplating life. Think about what went wrong in your last relationship. Learn from past mistakes so you don’t have to go through those particular lessons again. Don’t drink your face off – but do unwind for a moment. Time heals all wounds. It will pass. And the passage of time will be eased with some relaxation.

Exercise

Don’t overdo it on hitting the bottle. You don’t want “wine waist” – or the depression that comes with drinking too much alcohol. It’s all about moderation. Balance that moderation with plenty of exercise. It’ll help keep your mood elevated – and you’ll be fit for the next time you’re ready to search for love.

Get Back Out There!

You’ve had a fling. You’ve gabbed to your friends. You’ve gotten familiar with your favorite wineries. And you’ve clocked in the miles on the treadmill. Now the best breakup advice is to dust yourself off and enjoy your hard-earned fresh start. Embrace it today!

What He Said:

Burn It

Get rid of all the shit they gave you. Gifts, pictures, clothes, everything. Get rid of all the reminders of that person. Don’t hold on to anything of the past. You’re moving forward not looking back.

Routine Is Your Friend

Ground yourself in your daily routines. Focus more on those things on your to do list. Add a bunch of things to it too. The busier you are the better. It will help you engross yourself in the present and that is a big key to moving on.

Add Some Hobbies

If you’re not really into anything, get into it. If you’ve got a hobby already, throw yourself into it.

One Night Stands Are Your Friend

Supposedly the best breakup advice and the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Sex like that just works. Not really sure why? Because it lets your mind and body know there are other people out there and other fish in the sea and the sooner you catch one the better you’ll feel.

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It’s not very often that the movie producers, script writers, and authors explore the loveless side of a relationship. When it comes to battlefields, the bedroom is a common source of tension, suspicions, cunning strategies, defensiveness, anger, submission, and control.

What Happens When Your Relationship Gets Boring

When a relationship becomes complacent, it’s usually because one or both partner’s needs are not being met. For men, that vital need is sex. For women, it’s affection. By vital, I mean that most men and women cannot live a happy and fulfilled life if their most important needs are not met. Many times when a man is not happy with his relationship, it’s because his partner is not providing him with enough quality sex. When a woman is unhappy, however, it is quite often because her ultimate need for affection is not getting met.

No matter how it starts, when one partner’s needs goes unmet, a vicious cycle often begins. For example, if a man fails to provide his female partner with the affection she needs, she will feel neglected and withdraw from him, often turning down his sexual advancements. In turn, the man feels rejected, negative feelings develop, and he holds back his affection towards her.

This cycle is very common between couples, especially those who are married or who have been living together for many years. But the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.

How Erotic Massage Can Help

Sensual and erotic massage can give you the tools you need to break the cycle and meet your lady’s need for affection. Through the act of touching your partner, you can heal both your partner and your relationship. In doing so, you will be able to better connect with your partner and strengthen the bond between the two of you.

Not only does erotic massage help relax your partner’s body from the daily stresses of her life (therefore associating you with the dissolution of her negative feelings), it also brings about positive feelings of well being and sexual arousal. When you replace her negative feelings with feelings of sexual arousal, she will become intensely attached to you both physically and sexually. This, in turn, will help her to have better, stronger and faster orgasms.

Yου can use erotic massage and the power of touch to give your partner your loving admiration, love, and support. Wһеn you give your partner the gift of touch, she will have no choice but to let down her walls and open herself to you. Just one session of consciously touching your partner can dissolve years of misunderstandings and neglect, and release feelings of long, companionship, trust, and intimacy.

Love Takes Work

A loving relationship is much more than a few scenes of romantic conflict. It’s a work in progress that needs constant reinforcement and nourishment. Through the art of erotic massage, you can naturally reinforce and nourish the love and intimacy in your relationship and elevate it to an entirely new level—one that promises many happy tomorrows.

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Slow And Steady Wins The Race

It’s important that you approach the girl you’re interested in slowly, especially if she doesn’t know you or doesn’t know you well. A very strong come on in the beginning isn’t going to work well for you – in fact, it’s very likely to backfire. What you don’t want to do is come off as a creep, because then you could very well be scaring her off for good!

Understand that for a really strong connection to build, it has to start somewhere. It takes time for attraction to build, and if you ever plan on wanting to be in a relationship with this person, you want to make sure your taking the time to build a strong foundation in the beginning. Don’t be afraid to take it slow and let the attraction build naturally. Make sure you get to know her well, and make sure she at least knows that you exist!

If You’re Inexperienced With Women

If you’re shy and inexperienced talking to women, take that first initial step and go out there and start meeting women! Even if they aren’t the “one” that you want to be dating, getting practice talking to women and being comfortable around them will help you to be more smooth and confident when you’re around the lady you really, really like.

Don’t Lose Sight Of Your Own Passions, Goals And Interests

A lot of times what will happen when a guy becomes interested in a girl is he will begin to become obsessed with her. Thoughts of her will end up taking over his mind, and everything he does will somehow be related to her, what she’s doing or where she is. If you want to have any shot with the girl you’re pining over, you have to forget that completely!

Make sure you still have your own goals and passions. Don’t lose yourself when trying to get a girl! That almost never, ever works. She’s not going to be attracted to you if you’re completely obsessed with her. Having your own passions and goals in life (and participating in them actively) is actually the best thing you can do to make her notice you. Concentrate on living your life to the fullest and taking part in things that make you happy. If you’re happy all the time, she’s going to start taking an interest in you. If you’re fun to be around, you’ll really start to attract women!

Get To Know Each Other

In the beginning stages, it’s important for you and the lady you’re interested in to start getting to know each other. You may think you know all about her and you’re madly in love with her, but the truth is, until you’ve really spent some time with someone and have gotten to know them well, it’s really hard to tell if those feelings are genuine. Our brains are excellent at filling in the gaps when it comes to having a crush on someone, so we walk away thinking they’re the love of our lives when in reality, we don’t know them very well at all.

Search for things you and the girl you like have in common. Find out if she even likes you! You cannot force a woman to love you – if you don’t have anything in common or if she doesn’t even really like you “that way,” you can’t force a relationship to come out of it. However, you can “win” a lady’s love if the spark is already there by playing your cards right!

Invest In Yourself

Take some time to make yourself more attractive to women overall. You’re not going to get anyone if you look and feel like a bum! Exercise, eat healthy and nutritious meals and take part in activities that give you confidence and self-worth. Being more confident in general about yourself will automatically make you more attractive to women (including the girl you like). If you don’t love yourself and feel good about yourself first, no one else will either! Also, you ensure that by becoming more attractive in general, you’re leaving the door open for other women – who may be better for you.

The Less You Need Her, The More She Will Like You

You don’t want to be that needy, clingy guy that needs to be around her, be talking to her or be thinking about her to be happy. If you make her your sole source of happiness, she will run for the hills as fast as she can! No girl wants to be the “be all and end all” for a guy. So make a point to “need” her less. This goes back to not losing yourself for a girl and making sure that you still have activities and things that you’re passionate about and enjoy doing. Make time for your guy friends – go out to the sports bar and watch the game with your buddies, or do something else that doesn’t involve her. This will make you way more attractive to her – and it will give her room to chase you a little bit!

Respect That She Can Decide Who She Loves On Her Own

Give her some space. Let her chase you a little – if she feels smothered, she’s going to kick you to the curb in short order. If you’ve done everything you possibly can to win her love and she still doesn’t love you, you’re going to have to recognize when it’s time to move on. If you keep pushing forward when she’s pulling back, you’re going to make yourself out to seem like a stalker! (And you can forget a possible relationship with one of her hot friends if you seem like a weirdo who won’t let go).

She can decide who she wants to love and who she doesn’t all by herself – you cannot force a girl to love you! If this happens to you, concede defeat gracefully and with dignity. Move on, continue improving yourself and doing things that make you happy, and the right one will come along soon enough.

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I’m head over heels in love with my new boyfriend. We’ve only been together one month, but we both feel this is it. Is it too soon to move in together? Our sex life is amazing and we spend every night together anyway!

What She Said:

I’m going to be frank. I’d wait a bit to make sure what you’re feeling is love and not lust. I have no doubt that you’re blissfully happy with your new beau, but your experience is currently tangled with your raging hormones. If this is the real deal, what’s the harm in postponing a life-changing move?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m an optimist when it comes to love. I’ve fallen in love at first sight and it was amazing. I was with this man for over three years, so it definitely wasn’t a fluke. I knew in my heart (and a few other places) that he was the one – at least for that time.

Don’t Rush The Relationship

Of course your sex life is amazing – there’s a mutual attraction at work and things are new. Savor this time – it’s one of the best things life has to offer.

I’m sure you’ve been in relationships before, so you’re no doubt aware that this will fade a bit. And nothing makes the thrill of the new fade more quickly than getting familiar with the old. It’s exciting to strip off your clothes and tumble into bed – it’s another thing entirely to learn that your boyfriend never picks up after himself. The thing that makes the mess less annoying is a deep bond that develops over time.

If He’s The One, Take Your Time!

If this is it, why not enjoy dating to the hilt? Let your body tingle with anticipation on date night. Go a day or two without seeing each other while you still have some “single you” time. Let it build slowly with layers of shared experiences as you truly get to know each other. When moving day comes, it’ll be a confident decision and not a reaction to a situation.

What He Said:

Moving in after a month? What could possibly go wrong? Did my public education prepare me to count that high? No. Not so much.

It’s been a month. It’s been a month. Have I mentioned it’s been a month? Because it’s been a month. Is that sinking in yet? Because seriously. Seriously. It’s only been a month.

Your brain ain’t right. Because it’s been a month (sound familiar?) It’s filled with all kind of fun, narcotic like chemicals. You can’t make sense of things. You are not in a right frame of mind. You shouldn’t be allowed to drive, or operate heavy machinery, unless of course it’s a battery powered cock ring or Sybian.

Where’s The Fire?

It will take time for you to adjust to the great sex (or for it to die down, either one). If it is a great relationship and it is the one, why rush it? Where’s the fire? Are you in a race? Do you want to win a medal? Why are you trying to get so fast to some kind of imaginary destination. Slow down. You have nothing to gain by moving so fast and have everything to lose. Just enjoy the ride!

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If you’re interested in learning how to win HER back, here’s a bit of information that might help. It may not be easy and it might not even work but if you don’t at least try, you will never know. You also need to understand that some relationships are just not meant to work and if that is the case with yours, then don’t even waste your time and effort. Rather look else where for comfort and a new beginning. However, the main objective here is to “win her back” and so this is how we do it.

Control Your Emotions

Firstly, you need to be in control of your emotions. This is not an easy task at present, emotions are running high for both of you, ranging from anger to grief and shock so it is difficult to try and focus. It requires both conscious effort and control and you need to keep your “eye on the ball” as it could be tough, time consuming and sometimes, demoralizing. But if you stay focused, then you have the opportunity to prove to yourself and everybody around you that you’re capable to deal with difficult situations.

Don’t Retaliate

When staying in control, you have to keep a mind to not retaliate. Most guys retaliate after a breakup and this definitely will make things worse than they already are. “Getting her back” or “making her want you more by making out with her friend” will NOT work. It will only validate her mistrust of you and push her away even further. You need to give your former girlfriend time alone, avoid contacting her, especially immediately after the break up. This is probably one of the most difficult things to do, but it is necessary and it also gives her a chance to miss you.

Don’t Hibernate

The last thing you need to do is “hibernate” as it is often tempting to stay at home along following a rough breakup and but this is the worse thing you could do. Not only will you be seen as weak, but it will exacerbate your situation even further driving home your sense of loneliness. It is important that you stay in touch with your friends and continue to enjoy life. You need to keep yourself busy.

How To Plan A Come Back Strategy

If you want to know how to approach your former girlfriend, talk to her friends (if they agree to talk to you), if not, be persistent and let them see you are genuinely regretful. The more information you can gather on her state of mind and her feelings towards you, the better. Research, organization and preparation hand in hand together with a romantic occasion should work hands down any time. Once you have an idea of where her mind is at, you can plan your approach accordingly and design a “come back” strategy that will not only impress her, but “blow her socks off.”

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Why do men cheat on beautiful, famous women? Where’s the hope for the rest of us when even celebrities can’t have a faithful spouse? I’m getting married soon and all this high profile infidelity is making me nervous!

What She Said:

I understand your pre-wedding jitters, but odds are good your husband will not turn out to be a cheater.

Why Do They Do It?

Why do men cheat? Because they can. Aside from that cynical joke, there’s obviously no formula to figure out what makes men stray. Some men cheat on famous women in order to restore balance in the power system. Perhaps the hubby of a celebrity feels emasculated because his wife makes more money than he does. Cheating can even the playing field in the dynamics of a marriage. Yes, it’s completely passive-aggressive – but that could explain the mindset at play.

Men are obviously loaded with testosterone – powerful men possibly more so. Not only is there a strong biological imperative to “spread the seed,” there’s also the fact that men who are with famous women are used to getting what they want, when they want it.

Regardless of who a man marries, I still believe there’s one big reason a guy would be unfaithful – if he’s not happy at home, he’s bound to look elsewhere. Everything else is superfluous and out of your control.

Enter With Full Trust

Give yourself (and your fiancé) the gift of going into your marriage full of trust, love, hope and an open heart. This should be the happiest time of your life; don’t spoil it by fretting over the end of others’ unions. Don’t cross the “he cheated on me” bridge until you come to it – if you come to it. Besides, if you’re marrying a man who’s your best friend in and out of the bedroom, you really won’t have a thing to worry about.

What He Said:

“Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I will show you a guy who’s tired of fucking her.” — Chris Rock.

Can Men Really Be Monogamous?

It’s an exaggeration to some degree, but there’s also some degree of truth to it. Some men just need some “strange” from time to time. They say men aren’t wired to be monogamous, I’m not sure women are either. I don’t think it’s natural for us to only be with one person for life.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t doable or that it’s a bad thing. There are all different kinds of people out there and there are all different kinds of relationships. The fact that he has a penis doesn’t mean he will be screwing anything that moves.

There’s not much you can do to keep him faithful and more than he can do to keep you faithful. If you never give him a reason to stray, you’re off to an amazing start. And if that doesn’t work, just screw his brains out. Screw him stupid to the point where he is physically unable to be with anyone else. That’s the M.O. of several of my married female friends.

Weatherproof Your Marriage

You can’t go into this marriage with the idea that he’s going to cheat. That’s not going to get you anywhere you want to go. It is helpful to realize that this is a distinct possibility and plan accordingly. You don’t have car insurance because you want to get in an accident, you have it in case you do. That can mean you have a pre-nup or that simply you are aware it could happen and do everything you can do to weatherproof your marriage. That’s not being paranoid, that’s being positively proactive. You get what you put in.

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What does it mean when a guy says he isn’t seeing anyone else but isn’t ‘a labels guy?”

What She Said:

I’m guessing it means he wants to have his cake and eat it too. As played out as that old adage is, there’s a reason it’s still around. Without labels, your guy is freed from defining the relationship while still reaping the benefits of your company. The question you have to ask yourself is: Are you having fun and, if so, why do you care what it’s called?

One thing that’s crucial in this equation is time. How long have you been seeing each other? If you’ve only been hanging out a few weeks (or even a few months), back off from trying to define the terms. No one likes to be pushed and you’ll never see a guy run faster than if you try to pin him down. Men are attracted to women who have a sense of independence; needing to give a name to something doesn’t always reflect that trait.

On the other hand, if it’s been a prolonged amount of time and everything (other than the title) points towards the two of you being serious and exclusive, you deserve to know. You have the right to this information, both sexually and emotionally. If you’re in a committed relationship (i.e. monogamous), you can explore options other than condoms. A “title” also gives you the go ahead to release your heart and invest in your companion emotionally.

Follow your instincts. If you feel enough time has passed, broach the subject. If he’s willing to happily give you an answer, proceed. If a significant amount of time has passed and he still hems and haws, pick up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. You’ll figure out the rest from there!

What He Said:

Well, he could be a player who is into dating them and letting them go. Or maybe he’s not ready for a serious relationship and is trying to give you realistic expectations of where he’s at. Or maybe you seem a bit clingy or that you’re moving too fast to soon, as least as far as he’s concerned, and he might want to put the brakes on.

Then again, who the hell cares what it means. How am I supposed to know anyway? What am I? Oprah? Seriously, it doesn’t really matter what it means, because clearly you have a problem with it. It’s not sitting right with you for whatever reason. You’re clearly having a gut reaction on this one. So why aren’t you going with it? Why are you asking two people you don’t know?

Ask him straight up. Don’t let him give you anything other than a straight answer. Let him know that whatever the answer is is okay, but you do want to know where he’s at, no bullshit. And you have to mean that. He may think it’s a trick, so assure him it’s not. It may take some prying, but you will get the answer out of him. Evaluate it, and either move forward or don’t.

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My live-in boyfriend and I are at odds over a seemingly small issue: we reside in a small town. I’m really bored, but my BF wants to stay. I don’t want to break up, but living where I don’t want to is beginning to feel like a big compromise.

What She Said:

What’s the big picture? How is the state of your relationship? Do you think he’s your soul mate? These are all really important questions you need to be asking yourself, the sooner the better.

If you’re serious about this guy and you see a future with him, maybe where you live isn’t as important as how you live. Perhaps a small town versus the big city isn’t as big of a deal when you have love. Look around at what your town has to offer. Does the slower pace allow you to focus on your hobbies? What’s the quality of life like day to day? Maybe you aren’t thrilled about where you live, but you can improve your experience regardless of residence.

The flip side: Are you marking time with someone you dig – for now? If so, it might be time to take a hard look at your relationship. You’ve got some big choices to make. The safety of companionship can be great – but if you’re passing up life for comfort, you’re doing a great disservice to yourself and your boyfriend.

There are tons of compromises in a long-term union. If you’ve asked all the hard questions and determined you want to stay with your BF then maybe it’s your turn to ask a difficult question of him: I’m willing to stay for you. Are you willing to move for me?

What He Said:

How is this not a deal breaker? If you want to go and he wants to stay, and you’re both set in your ways, then this is a situation that has been brought to a head (and not in a fun way). You either stay here and be miserable but still have your man, or you go off to the big city and you get to do your thing (though minus the boyfriend) and maybe you are more or less happy there.

I guess the real question here is why are you both so set in your ways on the issue? Why are you looking to leave? What is there that you can’t get where you are at? Is it a career opportunity, or is the grass simply greener?

While we’re on the subject of questions, why is he so deadest against going? Is it a family thing? A job? Is he a big fish in a small pond? There are certainly several valid reasons he might not want to go, but then again, it might not be a valid reason.

If all you need is love and he has you and he loves you, why wouldn’t he want to go? I know a woman who moved to L.A. to be an actress. Times were hard and she packed it in and went back to Texas, where she promptly met a guy and fell in love. When she confided in him that her dream was to be an actress, he insisted that they drop everything and move back to L.A. right after they got back from the honeymoon. That, my friends, is a stud.

Why isn’t your man doing that for you? That’s the real question, and the answer is far more important than which town you end up

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A while back, I broke up with my long term partner. Time’s passed and I found myself an amazing man and we’re in love. Then I find out my ex is going to marry to the first chick he dated after we broke up. I’m super angry, hurt, pissed and bummed. Why? How do I make it stop?

What She Said:

It’s natural to feel weird when someone you once loved has officially moved on. In fact, there’s a possibility he felt the same when he heard about your happy relationship. But the reality is that you’ve both moved on in big ways; the sooner you embrace that, the better.

Keeping Some Things To Yourself

It may go without saying, but I’d recommend keeping your depression to yourself versus confiding in your mate. I’m not advocating lying or keeping secrets – but this feeling will pass and it could be misconstrued in a detrimental way if you let your partner know you’re grieving the loss of your ex’s singledom. You’re happy, so why rock the boat?

How To Move On

If you’re feeling really bummed out, try writing a letter to your ex and then burn it. The purpose of this exercise is to express your feelings in a safe environment, then release them. Whatever you do, don’t send it or leave it lying around! It’s okay to feel sad for a bit – it is the end of an era. Acknowledge it – and then continue moving on. Surely you and your ex broke up for a reason. It might be good to revisit some of the bad times to ensure you don’t romanticize this guy too much.

You’re happy, you’re in a committed relationship and you’ve got nothing but the future ahead of you. It doesn’t involve your ex, but it does include a lot of new and exciting things. That sounds pretty good to me!

What He Said:

I guess the big question here is: why do you care? Maybe this guy was a real fixer up project when you met him. Maybe he was some fat, out of shape, slob with mommy issues and you turned him into a big man sized bowl of grade a quality ass. Then some other chick is enjoying the fruits of your labor? That would piss me off too. And you’d have every right to be upset. She owes you royalties, in that case. Or something.

Maybe you’re like this girl I used to know. She called herself the “practice wife” because every guy she was dating would immediately marry the next girl he dated after they broke up. She hated it. Eventually, she found a guy and they’re engaged.

This Too Shall Pass

Try not to read too much into this. Yes, it sucks. But it will pass. You’re happy in your new relationship, so what else matters? Jack shit, that’s what. Maybe you had visions of marrying that man, and maybe in retrospect, it wasn’t the best idea to start picking out your China patterns before it’s actually time to pick out the China patterns.

If getting married is something you want, sooner or later it will happen. That much is a given. The challenging part is enjoying the journey as much as possible and being kind and compassionate to yourself along the way. There’s really no point in being hard on yourself. Life is hard enough, and there are people lining up around the block to make it even harder on you. So why add on to the pile. Relax, enjoy and forget the douchebag. He’s her problem now.

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What’s a woman’s responsibility as far as “home wrecking” goes? I have a huge crush on this guy and we’ve really connected. I knew he had a girlfriend, but he told me things were essentially over with them. We’ve (happily) since gotten together, but now his ex is saying I ruined their relationship. Am I at fault?

What She Said:

You only have to look as far as the headlines to get some real time examples for your question. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie anyone? Heck, even Jennifer Aniston, the “wronged” party in that “bizarre Bermuda triangle,” has recently been accused of home wrecking antics.

My question? Where does the responsibility lie for the person actually in the relationship? To continue with the high-profile celebrity example: Angelina has worn the man-stealing crown for over six years now, but Brad was the one who was married and chose to cheat. Yes, Jolie is insanely gorgeous – but Pitt is a grown man, capable of making the decision to remain in a monogamous relationship.

What’s your responsibility? It sounds like you knew there might be cheating going on – but it also sounds like your guy was fully complicit. Maybe you knew he was fudging the facts as far as his relationship status – or maybe you chose to take him at his word. Either way, you were operating off the fact that things were over.

Do you have anything to feel guilty about? Only you can know for sure. Did you flirt, regardless of his living situation? Did you make yourself available as a friend and confidant, knowing that the two of you growing closer might jeopardize his relationship? Did you mold yourself into the image of his perfect girl? Of course his ex is going to be pissed at you (and maybe she has reason to be) – but it was ultimately her partner who acted dishonestly.

There are obviously a myriad of combinations, but at the end of the day I still believe this: Anyone can be tempted to cheat and everyone has a choice as to whether or not he or she follows through on that action. I’m a fan of clean breaks – if the relationship is truly over, end it before starting something new. That’s the real way to take responsibility.

What He Said

I don’t know the specifics, but if he wasn’t 100 % free and clear of his ex (as in totally broken up with her), then yes, you’d be a factor. But after that, it gets grey. Many marriages, for example end long before one of the parties files for legal separation or divorce, and then in that situation, you could have come into the guys life before he officially pulled the plug on his relationship, but after it had died. It had needlessly been hanging on via life support until someone finally showed some compassion and pulled the plug on it.

In that situation if you entered his life after it died, but before the cord was pulled, would you be a home wrecker? Technically, no. But everyone will judge you as such. Why? Because people don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and so they would have no way of knowing the relationship had died a slow, painful and often sexless death before you showed up. It would just look to the outside world like you showed up and stole that poor woman’s man away.

He will be needlessly judged and persecuted as well (see my colleagues aforementioned judgment against Brad Pitt for example). It’ll look like he was some mindless hornball who cheated on this poor, defenseless, woman who is a paragon of virtue, and walks little old ladies across the street, goes to church on Sunday, etc. That happens, yes, but that doesn’t happen in all cases. You don’t know and you shouldn’t be judging (COUGH! JENNA! COUGH!)

It doesn’t matter any more, really. You’re in a relationship with him and what happened, happened. At a certain point, even if you did steal him away, she just needs to get over it and move on. There are other men out there and if he was cheating on her with you, why would she be upset anyway? She should be glad to get rid of him, after all, he’s your problem now, right?

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What She Said:

1. Alienation of affection. If my partner cut me off physically and emotionally, I’d start thinking about looking elsewhere.
2. Unhealthy/dangerous habits. If my partner seriously got into drugs and was resisting all help, it would ultimately be a deal-breaker.
3. If he cheated on me first, I just might “have to” retaliate!
4. Meeting someone with whom I had crazy, undeniable chemistry.
5. Midlife crisis!

Honestly, I had trouble coming up with five reasons why I would cheat. It’s not something I believe I would do – though each situation is unique, so no judgment if this is something you’ve chosen.

Cheating happens – there are a myriad of reasons why, as we’ve seen above. For myself, my choice would be to end my current relationship before embarking on something new – as much out of respect for my partner as for myself. Think about it: Would you want to be cheated on? Most likely the answer is “no” – so don’t put your partner in a situation you wouldn’t want to be in yourself, even if the love has faded.

Cheating is usually a sign that something is wrong with the relationship. Hello, obvious! Instead of heaping more drama on the problem (even if it feels good at the time), why not stop and attempt to fix what’s wrong? Your next lover should be willing to wait in the wings while you work on wrapping up your previous entanglement. A clean slate – what’s sexier than that?

What He Said:

1. Chris Rock rule of LTRs: He said, “Show me the hottest girl on the planet, and I’ll show you a guy who’s tired of having sex with her.”  So you’re partner is great, but you just need some “strange ass.” Not better, or worse, just unfamiliar.
2. You met your celebrity crush, and they are “good to go.” I don’t care how faithful a woman is, if she meets Brad Pitt or that dude from Twilight and he wants her, he’s going to have her. Plain and simple.
3. Your partner ain’t handling their business any more. To quote the wise philosopher, Shaft “it’s my duty to please that booty.” If they are not meeting this requirement, you’re probably going to look for someone who will and you probably won’t feel too bad about it.
4. You think you can get away with it. No, you KNOW you can get away with it. You’re in Vegas, or you’re away on business, on vacation, whatever. You know you will never come into contact with this person again, and even if they did, they can’t pin anything on you. They don’t know your cell number, name, etc. They can’t trace you. This sex act is like bigfoot: everyone knows it probably exists, but no credible evidence existing that can prove it.
5. Cause you’re human. Monogamy is not natural. It’s not unrealistic, but it’s not how we were designed. You were designed to screw around and still have someone waiting for you at home. You feel entitled to do as nature intended you to.

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While sharing a bed certainly has a romantic upside, it can wreak havoc on your sleep schedule. Talking to your partner about your issues, like being kept awake by snoring, can help you both solve your sleeping problems. Compromise in the name of catching a few more zzz’s will keep you both happier, at bedtime and beyond.

There was a time back in the ‘50s when you couldn’t show couples sharing a bed on TV. Think back to I Love Lucy, and you’ll recall that Lucy and Ricky had a pair of twin-sized beds in their master bedroom. It seems silly to think of a married couple not sharing a bed, yet anyone who’s ever slept next to a snorer or a blanket hog has probably fantasized about having such a sleeping arrangement.

Sleep Deprivation Means More Fights

Much as we’ve all enjoyed cuddling up under the covers with our significant other, we’ve also probably had at least a few nights where our shut eye quality suffered thanks to having a bed buddy. That might seem like a small sacrifice to make for love, but sleep deprivation is a pretty evil thing. If your partner is disrupting your shut eye night after night, you’re bound to be tired on a daily basis. If you’re tired all the time, you’re likely cranky, and you might find yourself snapping at your mate more often. Things that wouldn’t bother you a bit if you were rested might cause blowout fighting when you’re sleep deprived.

Lay Down The Ground Rules

So how can you get your much needed shut eye without reverting to separate beds? First and foremost, you and your partner need to discuss what, if any, problems you’re having. If you’re a light sleeper and your S.O. snores loudly or talks, talk to them about it. How bad and frequent is the snoring? Is it a once and awhile thing that you can use earplugs to block out? If it’s a little more frequent—say your mate has bad allergies and snores when he/she is stuffed up—try over-the-counter remedies.

Buy him or her a box of those nose strips that help open up your nasal passages so you can breathe easier and don’t snore as much. If the snoring is regular and violent sounding, your significant other might need to go to the doctor or even do a study. They might have a more serious problem like sleep apnea, which can be very dangerous. The doctor could help both your partner’s health and your sanity.

Other Relationship Problems From Sleeping In The Same Bed

Of course, there are other annoyances that can come from sharing a bed. If you’re lucky enough to be a heavy sleeper, you might not notice if your partner tosses and turns or hogs the covers all to his or herself. If you’re not a heavy sleeper, you might wake up every time your S.O. rolls over or pulls the blanket off you.

Make your mate aware of their habits in as polite a manner as possible. Then discuss possible solutions, like buying a better mattress that doesn’t magnify every move your partner makes. Maybe you simply need a bigger bed to put more distance between each other, or even just larger blankets so you’ve each got more to wrap up in.

Most of these problems are at their worst if you have the misfortune of being a light sleeper. If you are, one of the easiest ways to make sure you sleep through the night despite your partner is to go to bed before they do. Of course, you might not always be able to get to bed a little earlier than your S.O.

When you can, however, try to give yourself time enough to get to the point of deep sleep before your mate comes to bed. If you’re really out of it by the time they start snoring or kicking around, you’ll be less likely to notice it. Another option is to have sex before you hit the hay. If you both get a really good orgasm, it’s likely you’ll both be out like a light.

Of course, if none of these ideas work, you may very well have to resort to sleeping Lucy-and-Ricky-style. That, or you might want to invest in some good sleeping pills.

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My boyfriend and I are in an endless cycle of fighting and making up. My friends say I should dump him, but I’m addicted to the push/pull. I want to note that our fighting doesn’t include anything physical – we’re just into arguing. What should I do?

What She Said:

The big question here is: Are you happy? Only you can make that call, but a constant cycle of fighting and making up sounds pretty exhausting to me. It also sounds like it might be tiring your friends out as well, if they’re so well-versed on the subject that they’re to the point of offering opinions on your relationship.

We’ve all had those relationships that weren’t quite a match, yet were hard to let go of nonetheless. Nothing to be ashamed of there, that’s how you learn! You have to ask yourself what you want for the long term – is the tension of wondering when the next fight will happen really beneficial to your quality of life? Some people do get off on arguing because of the popular assumption that it leads to hot makeup sex. If that’s your trip, you might want to find another (healthier) way to rev up the engines.

The push and pull can be quite seductive. By engaging in this behavior, the two of you are constantly stirring up a fight in order to ultimately confirm that you do want each other. But I have a secret – there is an easier way. Think about how life would be with someone who loved you unconditionally, someone who told you how he felt without a fight. That reality exists and it’s a lot of fun. Now there’s something to think about!

What He Said:

What is it with chicks and fighting? I know, guys date crazy chicks too, but I think it’s different for women. Ever watch a soap opera? Ever see ANY happy well adjusted people on those shows? Hell no! Everyone on those shows are bat-shit crazy and are producing tons of tension. I think women like the unpredictability of it.

It doesn’t matter what we think you should do. You’ve already made your decision. You like the adrenaline rush from a fight. Why? I have no clue. But you like it, so you might as well just get used to everyone saying you’re in a dead end, soul crushing relationship for a simple reason: you are in a dead end, soul crushing relationship, but apparently you’re into that thing for some damn reason. So since you don’t seem interested in coming to your senses and finding a guy who worships, loves, cherishes and adores you (because really, who need that anyway?) you’re going to be stuck in this rut no matter who you date. Different dick, same story.

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My wife seems to be way more interested in the well being of her girlfriends over me. It’s kind of to the point where I’m wondering if she’s more interested sexually, given the amount of time she spends with them. What gives?

What She Said:

Have you reached out to your wife lately? It sounds like she might be taking solace in the company of her girlfriends. It is possible to feel lonely, even in a marriage. You’ve mentioned that she doesn’t seem very interested in your well being. Have you flipped the script and asked yourself if you’ve shown interest in her happiness as of late? If you said “no,” that might be the answer to your question.

Bring In The Romance

Of course the responsibility is not all on you. You obviously have a valid concern, regardless of the cause. You’re feeling alienated by your wife, and that’s not good. Given that you’ve included sex in the mix, I’m assuming that intimacy with your partner is not up to par. Have you tried a little romance? A fun date night might be a good start to getting things going again.

Communication is key, especially in this situation. You need to sit down and have an honest talk with your wife, ASAP. You’re going to have to be blunt and let her know your concerns. If she let’s you know everything is fine, but she’s also been feeling the distance, be sure to start scheduling time together. Make your marriage a priority again. If she reveals that she does indeed have sexual feelings for women, it’s time to let her go. You’ll both be happier in the long run being who you truly are. Good luck!

What He Said:

Unless your wife has always been like this something changed. It didn’t just happen. She may not be happy at work, or something. Most likely in these situations, it’s that the guy she’s with started phoning it in.

Think back to a time in the relationship when things were working like you wanted them to. Compare that to now. Are you spending as much time with her? Are one or both of you more stressed out? Are you doing the same things for her now as you were then? My guess is probably not.

Decoding A Woman’s Desire For Sex

So, start doing them. Try and do them without the expectation of the sex. She’s out of the mood and been that way for a while. She may have to readjust to the new attention, but it will happen. Ironically, she will want to have sex with you right after she comes to the conclusion that you’re not giving her this attention because you want to get laid. Women are sneaky like that. Once she feels that you’re giving her this added attention because you legitimately care about her and want to shower her with it, that’s when the booty usually picks up.

Again, I know. It doesn’t make sense, and it’s counterintuitive. But that’s the way it works. Just try it. Give it like a month. Or two weeks at least. If it doesn’t work, punch me. I know it will work, which is why I can say that. Just try it. You have nothing to lose.

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Don’t Be A Boring Boyfriend

Girls want a guy who knows how to have fun. Don’t be boring – strive to plan fun, exciting things for you and your girl to go out and do. Don’t just sit at home on the couch eating take-out and watching movies or playing video games. While staying in and eating bad Chinese food in front of a DVD marathon is really fun every once in awhile, it’s not something she wants to do all the time.

Plan ways you can show her a great time, whether it’s taking her out to a new restaurant or club you’ve never been to before, or doing something really adventurous like rock climbing or horseback riding. Making her feel great by getting out and doing things (and showing her that you’re interested in doing things with her) is one of the best ways to prove that you’re a great partner – and not boring at all. Also, learn how to carry on a great conversation and engage your partner mentally. Women are so emotion and mind oriented that if you learn how to give her mental and emotional stimulation often, she will really love spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

Be Someone That She Can Be Proud Of

Yes, there are many girls that will fall for a bum. But most of them won’t. If they do, you can pretty much bet that before long, she’s going to get tired of you and move on to someone else. Instead of letting that happen, be someone she can really be proud of. Be someone that she can tell her friends and family about. Be a motivated, confident, ambitious and energetic guy!

Have a job or other things going on in your life that she can tell other people about, such as a killer position at a popular company in your city, or volunteering as a firefighter for the local fire department. No matter what you choose to do, make sure you’re actually doing something and not nothing, and that it’s something your girl can brag a little about!

You also want to have things of your own that you’re doing that don’t always involve her. Have fun with your guy friends! Don’t be too clingy or suffocating, because if you are, your relationship won’t last long. Have things that you love and are passionate about in your life that don’t necessarily have anything to do with your girlfriend at all. Encourage her to go out and spend time with her girl friends and you do the same!

Value Your Time Together

Too many guys out there take their partners for granted when they’re in a relationship. They may rush through the dating process to have sex, or they may just get so comfortable with their partner that they take for granted any time spent with them. Don’t be that guy! Make sure that you take the dating process step by step, and enjoy each different phase of your relationship. When you’re on a date with your partner, make sure that you are fully present and that you’re engaging your partner in conversation. You want to be paying attention to her, not the game on the TV behind the bar or the cute waitress.

Also, show your partner that you really value her by making her feel sexy. Compliment the outfit she’s wearing and tell her that she’s beautiful. Take her on dates that allow her to dress up and do her hair, so she feels sexy and beautiful when she’s around you. If you’re always hanging around the house and she never gets the chance to get out of her sweatpants or put her makeup on, she’s not going to feel good about herself at all. When you touch her, tell her how soft her skin is or how nice her curves are against you. Make her feel like a million bucks!

Develop A Close Connection With Her

Don’t wall yourself off from your partner emotionally. Women speak the language of emotion, so if you’re a robot with her, she’s not going to be interested in you for long. Let your guard down some and make yourself a little vulnerable to her. Share how you’re feeling about her and about other things, and respond to the things she’s feeling when she tells you about them.

Work on developing a close connection with your partner and when you do achieve that level of emotional intimacy in your relationship, everything is going to be better. Sex is better when you’re really close with someone, and life is better in general when you have someone you can share those intimate details with.

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It can feel like total betrayal when you discover that your mate isn’t exactly who you thought they were. Maybe you’re horrified to discover that they’ve had a completely different romantic past than you thought. Maybe you’re just shocked to discover their religious or political beliefs aren’t what you thought they’d be. Regardless, you need to talk things through, unearth other possible secrets, and decide whether or not this is still the right person for you.

When They’re Not Who You Think

Few things are as jarring as discovering that your partner isn’t who you thought him or her to be. Sometimes it’s our own fault, of course. You immediately jump to great conclusions about someone because you want them to be golden thanks to how attracted you feel toward them. Then you get to know them a little better and find out they’re not as perfect as you’d imagined.

On the other hand, sometimes your mate is going to pretty great lengths to make sure that you don’t find out something unsavory about them. So what do you do when a secret about your S.O. comes to light? How can you decide whether or not you should stay together, and, if you want to stay together, how can you move past the bad news? A good long talk or two with your partner can help you begin to rebuild trust.

How Bad Is It Really?

The first thing to do once your mate’s negative secret has been revealed to you is to assess just how bad that secret is. If you find out that your boyfriend has another girlfriend, that’s grounds for immediate breakup. If you’re a bleeding-heart liberal and your new girlfriend casually announces that she’s a conservative Republican, you might be annoyed about it, but that’s not a reason to immediately give up on the relationship.

Decide Whether It’s A Relationship Dealbreaker

You basically have to decide whether the secret is just something unsavory about your S.O., or something that indicates they will not make a good mate. In other words, if your mate tells you before the first time you have sex that he or she got an STD from their ex, that’s a problem that should be worked out. If they tell you they got that STD when they were cheating on their ex with a hooker, or they wait and tell you after you’ve had unprotected sex, that’s grounds for dismissal.

People certainly make mistakes in their life, and we do change as we mature. Finding out that your partner was quite the playboy back in college might make your heart sink a little. If he’s shown in more recent years that he can be in serious relationships, it’s worth looking past his previous mistakes and giving him a chance (though you should certainly insist he gets tested for various STD’s).

People are also allowed their own quirks and opinions. Let’s take the case of our conservative girlfriend and her liberal boyfriend. While he might initially be bothered by the fact that she believes in different political practices than he does, they could ultimately find that their opposing opinions give them something truly interesting to debate about. Additionally, just because she’s a registered Republican doesn’t mean she might not agree with some of the policies that he believes in. Some people truly can’t respect other’s opinions or beliefs, but a lot of people can. How else do people who practice completely different faiths end up together?

Talking To Your Partner About It

Once you get over the initial shock of the big reveal, sit down and have a really detailed discussion with your partner about it. If they were holding out on you about something and you discovered it via another source, you have the right to be angry that they hid something from you. That’s true whether the secret is something you can get over or not.

You need to talk to them about how they’ve damaged your trust in them, and then try to figure out how to work together to rebuild that trust. Open up about any secrets you might be keeping, and get your S.O. to do the same. Make the point to them that hiding things makes them even worse. If your partner is genuinely apologetic about keeping secrets from you, then you will be able to work together to get back to trusting each other again.

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There is something to be said about leaving the city behind, getting away for a day, enjoying whatever beautiful views nature offers you, stuffing yourself silly and then lay back with a glass of wine or whatever liquid takes your fancy. When the sun is shining there’s only one thing to do – and that is, go on a picnic. Now these are not only good for the happily involved but they are essential when trying to win her back! Obviously the weather plays an important part but remember, you can do it both indoors and outdoors. All it takes is a little creative imagination.

What Food To Bring

Most importantly you must find a place that’s sheltered from the wind yet has a lovely view. Set the scene with candles or lanterns, and your loved one (yes her) will be eating out of the palm of your hand! For dinner include:

• Fresh, organic vegetables such as baby carrots, cucumber fingers, baby sweet corn, broccoli, cherry tomatoes and serve with dips such as guacamole, hummus or chopped tomato in cottage cheese, suggests planning and preparation and you can grill the vegetables beforehand for something a little different.
• Cold meats with cheeses such as Camembert and Brie also work well as snacks. The cheese can also be eaten with fruit or crackers.
• It’s always a good idea to stick to finger foods for romantic picnics; this way you can feed each other.
• For something more substantial, make a variety of wraps with cottage cheese and pineapple filling; and pita bread with stuffed with tuna salad, feta and avocado, or feta and carrot.
• A bottle of wine or bubbly makes it a special occasion, but remember to first check whether alcohol is allowed at your spot of choice — and pack two of your prettiest glasses for the occasion.
• Round off your rendezvous with some decadent dark chocolate-tipped strawberries.

Although it seems as though this is a daunting task, and it really doesn’t have to be. A little planning beforehand can make you look like a pro and what better way to impress her than if you can honestly tell her you prepared it yourself. Certain foods are easy and quick to prepare such as cheese and crackers, muffins, grapes, strawberries (these always score big points for the romantic), chips and dips etc., always work well.

Throw in a bottle of wine or some champagne or if going for something non-alcoholic – a chilled fresh fruit juice. When organizing your basket the utensils you bring with are very important.

Setting The Mood

Try to pick a day where the weather is just right for being outside. A sunny, breezy morning is great for brunch, while evening is full of romance and much better for drinking champagne – although you can always do mimosas in the morning! You want to make sure you have the right tools on hand for comfort:

• A blanket, of course, is a must. If you really want to be nostalgic about it, find one in a classic red gingham print. A wooden basket is also a nice touch. Any soft blanket will do though.
• Think about bringing supportive pillows. Inexpensive throw pillows that you keep just for the occasion can help your partner feel more comfortable during your excursion. They’re not large or heavy and are easy to take with you. This can also help create a feeling of romance if you are able to lean back some or lie down next to your partner – and they’re better for sex if you and your lover are in a secluded spot!
• If there’s not a lot of wind, think about bringing candles. Jar candles are your best bet here, because they are shielded some from wind and external elements. While candles aren’t very practical if you’re having a morning or afternoon get together, they can be super romantic if you are having an evening get together.
• Bug repellent is also a must. It’s not super sexy to spray you and your partner down with bug spray before eating (make sure you wash your hands first!) but it will keep the mosquitoes away. It’s hard to create romance when you’re doing nothing but scratching at bug bites! Instead of bug spray, consider using citronella candles or torches that cover a wider area, so your area will be romantically lit and bug free!

No matter what you choose to do for your get together, make sure that your partner feels appreciated and cherished. This is part of the romance – spending time away from the daily grind to eat, drink and reconnect. It’s a wonderful experience no matter how you decide to do it!

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I’m the jealous type. Big time. It affects everything. Friendships, relationships, you name it. I don’t want to be this way. What do I do?

What She Said:

It’s normal to feel pangs of jealousy, but it sounds like you’re suffering from more than an occasional twinge. The good news is that this problem is actually a great opportunity for you to examine your own life!

While you’re at it, be sure to show your friends some gratitude. They obviously love you and are supporting you while you go through this painful period.

What It Really Is

Jealousy is really an outgrowth of fear – fear there’s not enough to go around and that you won’t get a piece of what is available. It’s a belief in lack – lack of opportunity, money or love. Jealousy is also usually a sign that you’re not following your dreams. If you’re sated in your life, there’s no call for ill will when others are happy with theirs.

What makes you feel jealous when you get together with your friends? Is someone glowing because her love life is going swimmingly? Do you envy your pal’s promotion? Is someone raving about getting to decorate her new fab pad? Whatever it may be, note it – these are your triggers, as well as your clues.

Using A Journal

Start to journal after you meet with your friends. Notice what makes you cringe. Now sit back and go over this list. These are the things most likely missing from your life. There’s an easy fix – now that you know what’s bumming you out, you can take control and start working on getting these things for yourself. There’s actually more than enough to go around! Celebrate with (and for) your friends, knowing that you can (and will) have a wonderful life as well. Once you take chances and create a fuller life for yourself, odds are that you can vanquish that painful feeling.

What He Said:

Focus on what you do have, and not what you don’t. If you don’t have a lover, partner, or anyone to have sex with, go out and get one! Don’t hang around your house moping over not having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Why would you continue to devote time and energy to perpetuating a cycle that gets you a huge serving of deep fried nothing? Where’s the upside in that? (Stop looking, grasshopper. I’ll save you the trip. You can’t find it. Because it doesn’t exist. Yeah, I know. Shocker. In other news, water is wet. Film at 11.)

The next step is to realize that your current pattern isn’t helping. Life isn’t about what’s fair, it’s about what works. Why would you keep doing something that isn’t working? No real reason. It’s just a habit, and you’re in it.

Breaking The Habit

The next step is to realize that this is a habit that you created and you can break. So break it. It may be a bit uncomfortable at first, but realize that you can break it and it will happen if you are dedicated and consistent on your path. If nothing else, just start by doing the exact opposite of what you normally would. That will help enormously.

Give yourself permission to move into this new space because your success is guaranteed if you don’t quit and continue to do the work. Enjoy!

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This is something you should start discussing with your S.O. no later than the day after you get engaged. The sooner you can settle on a date, the sooner you can go to work on the rest of the planning process.

Decide On The Wedding Size

Before you can set a date, you have to decide exactly what kind of  wedding you’ll have. If you and your partner want a big ceremony with lots of guests, a full bridal party, and a huge reception, you may very well need at least six months to a year to get everything set up.

If you want a small ceremony with only a few friends and family, you may only need a month or so. Should you and your partner be anxious to get married and not into a traditional wedding, you might even consider eloping as soon as possible. You can always have a party to celebrate your marriage with all of your friends and family after the fact.

Picking A Special Date

Another factor to consider when picking a date is whether or not there’s a special date that means something to both of you. Maybe you want to get married during a certain time of year so you can have an outdoor ceremony, like late spring or early fall. Or maybe there’s a meaningful date, like the day you first met or the anniversary of your first date that you want to be your date.

If either of these scenarios is the case, you may have a big wait, particularly if you need time to plan and that date or season is coming up quickly. Should that be the case, you might have to wait until that date comes up next year instead of this year, or your planning might be too rushed. If neither of you wants to wait that long, you need to be willing to sacrifice your idea of a perfect date or season to get married in.

Venue Availability

Your date will also be determined by the availability of the venue you want to get married in. Some venues, like religious ones, may already be booked for someone else’s  ceremony on the date that you want. It’s a good idea to have a window of dates or a few backup dates in mind in case your ideal date is booked. Otherwise, you need to be willing to be flexible on the venue.

The same thing goes for who will perform the ceremony. If you belong to a specific congregation and want your preacher, priest, Rabbi, etc., to perform the ceremony, you will most likely need to be flexible on your date. If the two of you are just going to use a justice of the peace, however, you can probably pick the exact date you want. Odds are that someone will be available for that day.

In the end, finding the right date mostly comes down to what your priorities are. If you have a detailed dream wedding plan, you’re probably going to need more time and have to be more flexible with your date to make everything work. If you and your fiance’s number one priority is to make the marriage sooner rather than later, you’ll have to be willing to be looser with your wedding plans. Just make sure that you’re both on the same page about your priorities, and you’ll settle on the right date in no time.

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The Pattern Of A Relationship

Generally speaking, most relationships follow a predictable pattern. There is the honeymoon period where you first meet someone and everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. The sex is fantastic, the chemistry electric but after while, this starts to feel more comfortable rather than exciting. You start to adjust to one another, make compromises, and at this point, the relationship changes again. I call this the “establishment” period. At this point, cohabitation often occurs, a little “nesting” starts to rear its head and “she” and “he” become “we.”

A little further down the line comes the “disenchantment” stage where suddenly the little quirks that amused you and you were willing to overlook now start to bother you and in fact, often become the “bone of contention” as a means to “pick a fight.” This is the true test of a relationship and it is this particular phase of the relationship that you need to reflect upon. If you believe you can save your relationship after this deep reflection then you need to do the following:

Apologize!

So many “fools of love” out there say, “treat em mean, keeps em keen” and they are so far off the beaten track that they will never find their way on the path to true love. It takes strength of character and great sacrifice to apologize particularly if you do not believe you were in the wrong. However, sometimes it really is worth “losing a battle to win a war.” Once you have taken this first step, the rest is not that difficult to follow. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship and knowing exactly what to apologize for is crucial.

Talk Things Through Face To Face

Invite your ex to meet you at a time and place convenient for you both where you can sit down and talk. The idea is to be quietly assertive, not forceful, but intent enough to get her to agree to meet you face to face. You both need to chat about the issues objectively, without blame and maturely. If necessary, suggest couple counseling with a therapist so she can see that you are serious in your quest.

Give Her Time And Space

This is probably one of the hardest things to do but by allowing your ex space not only gives her a chance to calm down and reflect, but also to miss you and it is true that as time passes, one only remembers the good times. By allowing a little time to pass, takes the heat of the anger out of the equation and emotions to settle into places of calm. This can only work in your favor.

Treat Her Like A Lady

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to take her on a triple Treat of Champagne Breakfast, Balloon and Boat Ride but it does mean you need to do things differently! She is the most important person on earth to you; show her this in your actions, not only in your words! Treat her like a lady and show your romantic side. A little bit of romance goes a long way!

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In general, we like to think that relationships become easier the longer we’re with the same person. In some ways that’s true. The more time you’re with someone, the better you know them. That level of intimacy can make your interactions much simpler. It can also make things predictable, which can lead to laziness.

What Is A One-Sided Relationship?

Just because you know someone really well and have settled into a sort of routine, doesn’t mean that you no longer have to put effort into your relationship. That kind of complacency can harm even the strongest relationship. It’s particularly detrimental, however, when one person in the partnership has become lazy, and the other is doing all of the work. A one-sided relationship like that creates resentment on the part of the person who is still carrying their weight. It also causes them to question (rightfully so) whether the lazier party is still in love with them.

How Can You Tell?

So how can you tell if your relationship has become one-sided? Think back over the last few months of your partnership and consider a few different aspects of it. Who typically suggests going out for a date night? Is it always you, always your partner, or a fairly even mix?

Let’s say that you typically suggest going out on dates and your mate doesn’t. If your significant other is more of a homebody, while you’re someone who likes to go out all the time, then you’re probably okay. It could just be that your mate prefers to spend more time with you in the comfort of your own home, whereas you like to get out of the house.

Therefore, you naturally tend to suggest going out more than he or she would. If your S.O. isn’t a homebody, though, you might very well have a problem. Does he or she often cook up ideas to go out with friends, but not with you? That’s a strong indicator that your partner is becoming lazy within your relationship.

Other Signs Of A One-Sided Partnership

You should also examine random acts of thoughtfulness. When was the last time you or your mate did something nice for the other one, just for the heck of it? If your S.O. is always doing kind things for you, and you’re not returning the favor, you might want to question why you’re not putting more effort into your relationship. Maybe your partner always lets you pick where to eat. Perhaps your mate sits through movies that you want to watch but he/she isn’t really interested in without a single complaint.

Is it part of your routine that you always get your way and your partner doesn’t? That’s a sign of total one-sidedness. Even if your partner is the most easy-going person in the world, you should still be making a point to give him or her their way on a regular basis. If you happily get your pick without even considering the fact that your mate is giving up theirs for you, you’re being pretty awful. If you don’t feel any appreciation or gratefulness for it—if you just expect it– then you’re being a jerk. Why are you even with this person if you don’t appreciate what they do for you?

What Can You Do?

What can you do if your relationship is one-sided? You need to sit down and get introspective about your situation. If your partner isn’t carrying their weight, do you feel that they may no longer care about you? Pull him or her aside and have a serious discussion about it. Maybe there’s a good reason that they’re not being as participative as normal.

Perhaps they’re overwhelmed with problems in some other area in their life and haven’t even realized they’re being so distant. In a situation like that, just talking about the problem and working toward a solution together could get you back on track. On the other hand, they may not be putting in any effort because they seriously don’t care.

Some people are so bad at breaking up, that they elect to behave poorly in the hopes that their S.O. will do the dumping for them. If you’re the one who’s slacking off in your partnership, check in with your gut and be honest with yourself. Are you really just bringing your relationship to an ending, albeit in a slow, drawn out fashion?

Whether you or your mate has grown complacent, it’s important to determine whether you want the relationship to continue or not. If you do, you and your partner need to have a good long talk. Then you both need to be more conscious about putting effort into your relationship. If you really care about each other, your mutual happiness and the success of your coupledom will be well worth the work.

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What She Said:

Well, it’s pretty simple – you can “find out” by asking her directly and you can “get her to stop” by requesting her to, respectfully, cut it out.

Just Ask!

It sounds like I’m being a smart ass, but it’s actually a fairly straightforward solution. You don’t want to be in a relationship where there’s a bunch of game playing going on. The phrase “finding out” makes it sound like you’re going to be snooping around on your mate. That doesn’t sit well with me and, my guess is, it probably won’t sit right with her either.

If your partner is, in fact, talking about everything in your relationship to her girlfriends, ask her to cease and desist. Keep in mind that everyone needs an outlet outside of their partners – her pals allow her to vent safely, which actually helps keep you off the hot seat. However, while friends are very important, they shouldn’t supersede your romantic connection.

It sounds like you’re worried private things in your relationship are being discussed, and that’s left you feeling vulnerable. That’s perfectly natural – no one likes the thought of his or her privacy being compromised. While your girl might need to spend an evening dishing with the gals over martinis, it’s perfectly reasonable to put some boundaries in place. This is out of respect for you and the health of your relationship.

Keep The Sex Talk Off Limits

There are some things that are off limits – even to girlfriends. I’d never divulge my husband’s confidences for some Happy Hour chatter – well, then or any other time. The size of his penis and our sex life is for us to share – not fodder for my gals. Acknowledge to your woman that you understand a woman needs her friends, but let her know subjects that would make you uncomfortable if other people knew. If you’re in a good relationship, your partner will respect your request and all should be well.

What He Said:

Yes, you should ask her and yes, your partner shouldn’t say certain things to her girlfriends, but the real question is how will you know?

So your partner says nothing is said about your penis and how you use it, or whatever else you don’t want her friends knowing. How do you know your partner won’t tell them?

You kind of have to just trust her. If your S.O. loves you, it shouldn’t be an issue. Your partner probably won’t be saying this stuff to her friends, but if your partner is, ask her to stop. Your S.O. should respect your boundaries and needs in a relationship. (Beware the girls who say they are “an open book” that means they blab their shit to everyone).

Just make sure to say things like “this is something that stays between us” or “don’t tell your friends about this” so your S.O. can’t come back and say “you never told me not to tell” cause women are crafty like that.

Seriously though, you should know the answer to this question. If you don’t trust her by now, why are you with her?

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Whether you’re both experienced pet owners, or this is the first time either of you have ever had an animal, getting one together is a big decision. Co-owning an animal with your S.O. should never be treated as a whim. This is a long term commitment that will require both of you to put in time and effort every single day.

Make Sure Your Relationship Is Stable First

It will also require a monetary commitment from both of you. That’s why it’s important to be certain that you’re both in your relationship for the long run before you get an animal together. Sure a dog or a cat isn’t a baby, but it is a living creature that will be dependent upon both of you. That means you both need to be on the same page before you head off to your local animal shelter or breeder.

If you are married or have been living together for several years, you can feel more comfortable about taking this step. Not only are you in a serious relationship that will likely last for many more years to come, but you’ve also been together long enough to know whether or not your S.O. is responsible. This means you won’t have to worry about how much more difficult it will be to end your relationship with a shared animal in the mix.

It also means that you’ll know they will be more likely to hold up their end of the animal-related duties or not. If you’ve only been together for a little while and aren’t really sure if this person is the one for you, hold off on getting one together. Having to fight over who gets the animal when you’ve broken up will just make things that much worse, and shared custody will be a pain for all involved—especially for the dog or cat.

Have A Talk On What You Want

Once you’ve decided that your’re in a serious, long-term relationship, sit down and talk to your S.O. about what you’re looking for in a pet. If neither of you has ever owned an animal before, you might want to do some research online or check out books about animal ownership. This will help you get an idea of the level of commitment each kind of animal requires.

For instance, dogs require a little more work than cats do. You have to walk them regularly, and potty training a puppy is more difficult than showing a kitten where its litter box is. If you both work long hours and neither of you can get home to walk a dog at lunch time, a cat might be a better fit for you. If you work far away from your home or apartment, but your S.O. works ten minutes away and always gets a lunch break, you probably could have a dog. Just make sure that your mate is okay with always being the one who has to handle midday walks.

Divide The Responsibilities

Speaking of midday walks and other responsibilities, you and your mate need to figure out a way to divvy up the work and cost associated with having an animal. The time to do so is prior to picking up your new four-legged family member. If you can’t decide who will be responsible for feeding times, vet trips, etc. without an argument, at least one of you isn’t ready yet.
You may also find that your S.O. is trying to pawn more of the work off onto you, which could indicate that he or she doesn’t really have their heart in it. It’s also really important to discuss the costs involved.

Things To Plan

Buying from a breeder will be more expensive than adopting from a shelter, but either way there will be costs involved. Then you’ll have to pay for things like food, toys, collars and leashes, cat litter or dog baggies, and veterinarian appointments. If you don’t have a joint bank account, you need to plan in advance how you’ll divide up the payments.

The last thing you want is to take your sick dog to the vet and discover that you owe hundreds of dollars because your S.O. can’t—or won’t—pay for their half. You may want to open a joint bank account dedicated specifically to those costs, even if all of your other accounts are separate.

Once you’ve talked everything through, make sure that you go together to pick out your animal. Springing a surprise puppy or kitten on your mate might seem romantic, but it’s really not a good idea. It’s important to make sure that you both meet any possible future pets before you decide on one. You’re caring for it together, so you should make sure you both feel good about the animal you end up with.

That may also mean making compromises. You might want a big dog to go running with while your S.O. might want a small lap dog. Try to find something in between that will be athletic enough to play, but small enough to hang out in your house. Once everyone’s had their say and compromises have been reached, you’ll be much more likely to get one that you’re both absolutely wild about.

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Whether your date nights have grown generally boring or you’re looking to really set this year apart from previous ones, your anniversary is a great time to plan a truly special and exciting date. Though some people value anniversary celebrations more than others, no one can resist a spectacular night of celebrating. You don’t even need a big budget to pull off an out-of-the-ordinary date. Plan ahead, consider your partner’s likes and dislikes, and get those creative juices flowing.

Planning Ahead

Depending on what you’re hoping to do for your anniversary, you should start planning anywhere from two weeks out to a full year beforehand. The first two things to take into account are your budget and whether or not you’re getting a gift for your S.O. If you’ve got a sizable budget or have lots of time to start saving money, you can come up with some pretty outlandish date concepts.

If you don’t already have a physical gift in mind, your date can actually become your gift, which then gives your budget a boost. They say that people who spend money on memory-making experiences are happier than those who buy tangible items. Unless you know that your mate expects a piece of jewelry or techie gadgetry every year, give them the gift of a truly memorable time together.

Take them to a concert for a band that they love or to a major sporting event. Do yourself one better and go to something that’s relevant to your relationship. Did you propose at a baseball game? Did you meet at a certain rock club? Go back there and recreate that special night. The tickets are your gift to them, and the awesome anniversary date is built right in.

Go Out Of Town

If your budget goes even further, give the gift of a trip. Plan a weekend getaway. It can be to somewhere that your S.O. has talked about wanting to visit, or it could be to somewhere else equally thoughtful. Maybe you no longer live where you first met.

Go back to the town where your romance blossomed and visit your old haunts. The act of being somewhere other than your current home will instantly spice things up. Demonstrating your thoughtfulness by picking a meaningful destination will show your mate that you’re still in love with him or her.

Local Date Ideas

Of course, if you don’t have the budget for a trip or a more expensive night out, you can still plan a great anniversary date. Plan a night or day full of the things you both enjoy doing most. Eat at you two’s favorite restaurant, grab a drink or two at your favorite bar, and do at least one thing that you both really enjoy.

If you’re both into Latin dancing, find a salsa night somewhere near you. Or if you both love going to the movies, go to a late night showing of something funny or romantic that will put you both in a good mood. Lots of cities have smaller theaters that sometimes show older movies, so you might even be able to find an older favorite of both of yours to watch on the big screen.

Sure, dinner and a movie or drinks and dancing might seem like typical dates, but if you put that extra special spin on it, it becomes a much more interesting night. Just make sure that whatever you do is something both you and your S.O. really enjoy. That way you’re both guaranteed to have a great time. Then head back in for the night and let your great moods carry over into passionate sex.

Low Cost Date Ideas

Should all else fail and your budget be nearly non-existent, remember that a picnic is always romantic, particularly after dark. Even if it’s just in your own backyard, dining al fresco and imbibing a little wine under the stars can make for an incredibly lovely evening. Depending on the remoteness of your location, bring a few blankets along and you could end up creating some extra hot memories, too. You’ll cherish them forever, even if you can’t tell anyone else about them.

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Words Are Very Powerful!

Don’t underestimate the power that language has on a woman. Certain phrases can trigger thoughts,emotions and fantasies and can easily affect how a person feels in both good and bad ways. There’s no denying that words can be used to affect someone in many different scenarios. You can also read into the way another person is feeling and thinking by paying attention to the words they’re using in a conversation.

Of course, not just any word is going to make someone upset, happy, angry or excited. It’s the use of emotional language that does that. Emotional language is certain phrases that evoke emotion in someone, whether it makes them feel good or bad or anything in between. You can use innocent words to turn a woman on, or make her feel happy or ecstatic. So it’s no surprise that you can affect how a woman feels just by paying attention to the words you’re using and using the right phrases to make her feel the way you want her to!

Actions Speak Too

Remember that even if you take the best love advice to heart and use the right phrases to win a woman over, you’re still not going to get very far if you don’t follow them up with the right actions. If you’re going to “talk the talk” so to speak, you’ve got to be willing to “walk the walk.” If you say something flirty and nice, and then turn around and do something else that negates what you just said, any girl is going to be able to spot you as a fake. Make sure that your actions go along with what you’re saying and that you’re being genuine about it.

Examples Of Things To Say

Here are some excellent examples of phrases that are going to evoke emotion in a woman:

• Happy – “I feel so happy being with you!”
• Excited – “I’m so excited to see you.”
• Love – “I love it when you….”
• Adore – “I adore you!”
• Confident – “You make me feel confident.”
• Amazing – “I feel amazing around you.”
• Incredible “You’re incredible!”

Using Words The Right Way

To have the impact you want on a woman when using language, it’s important that you pay attention and use it the right way. Avoid talking about things that create a negative energy around you, such as talking about your problems or complaining about the things around you. If you’re creating negative energy around you, you’re not going to be able to make anyone feel good regardless of what language you’re using.

Pay Attention To The Words She’s Using As Well

Women communicate with words much, much more than guys do. In fact, it’s estimated that women use on average 15,000 words a day while men use about 6,000 – so you can pretty much guarantee that she’s going to let you know how she feels and what she’s thinking in her language, even if she doesn’t come right out and say it. Listen to the hidden meaning behind the words she’s using and look for the emotions buried within.

Is she using phrases that suggest she wants to touch or kiss you? Are the phrases she’s using suggesting that she’s happy or having a good time? If so, you’re definitely on the right track! Alternatively, watch for phrases that suggest she’s not having fun or that she isn’t interested in you at all. A lot of guys don’t pay attention to it when a woman makes it clear that she’s not interested in them, simply because it’s not what they want to hear.

Consider Taking A Language Course

Because women use words so much more than men, if you want to really understand girls and how they think, you might want to consider taking a course on the subject. Becoming more knowledgeable about how people use language and the meanings behind certain phrases is going to help you indefinitely when it comes to understanding and talking to women. If you don’t want to take a course, there is tons of information out there on the Internet to help you learn to understand language and how people use it to communicate with each other!

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Are You A Constant Nagger?

No one likes being called a nag. The term is full of all sorts of negative connotations. Yet all of us have probably done it to someone about something at one point or another. Maybe you find yourself repeatedly asking your mate to put their dirty laundry in the hamper and not on the floor. Perhaps you’ve requested over and over that your partner remember to deposit that check at the bank. Whatever the point of it, you know that it’s no fun being on either end of it.

When you’re the one being nagged, you feel annoyed with your S.O. Their nagging is a reminder that you’re not living up to their standards on this particular issue, and that never feels good. If you’re the one doing the fussing, you feel frustrated and exasperated. It’s not as though you want to get on to someone—you just want them to do something the first time you ask them to do it. The worst part of nagging is that you start to feel more like an angry parent and scolded child than a pair of two adults in a romantic long term relationship.

Are You On The Giving Or Receiving End?

The key to halting this in your long term relationship is being considerate and forgiving of each other. If you’re typically on the receiving end of it, ask yourself why. When your partner asks you do them a favor by picking up the dry cleaning once a week, be considerate of their wishes. Surely that partner does things for you. Maybe you get distracted easily and forget to pick up those clothes. To your partner that seems inconsiderate. That’s why they become annoyed and then get on to you about it.

Since you know that you’re prone to forgetting things, come up with a way to remind yourself, like putting a reminder into your phone. Sure, you might still forget from time to time, but if you do a better job overall, your partner will be more likely to forgive you when you do screw up. That means less fussing for you to have to endure.

Give Yourself A Reality Check

Should you be the one constantly fussing, try to check in with reality. If you’re doing it about little things, you might want to consider letting the issue go. Say your significant other always leaves the dishes on the counter instead of putting them into the dishwasher. This is probably a bad habit of theirs that they’re not likely going to change.

Instead of wasting your time and energy on fussing at your partner about it, just put the dishes away yourself. It probably takes less effort for you to load the dishwasher than it would to regularly complain to your S.O. about it. Don’t ever forget that you probably have a bad habit or two that bothers your mate. You’re not perfect, therefore you shouldn’t expect perfection from them either.

Is The Issue Bigger Than The Little Stuff?

What if there’s a bigger issue at hand than dry cleaning and dishes? Maybe you’ve been nagging your partner to stop smoking or cut back on their drinking. Instead of nagging in the moment, sit down and have a heart to heart with your mate. Do this at a time when you’re both in good moods and the problematic issue is not directly at hand. You truly are trying to help them overcome big problems here, but nagging may not be the right way to go about it.

Tell them how much you care about them, and why you need them to break their unhealthy habits for you. Then you should work together to come up with a plan. Promise them that you won’t be on their back about it every five minutes if they show you that they’re working to get better. Seek outside help or marriage counseling so that you’re not the lone person policing the issue. Above all, make sure that your S.O. knows that you’re doing this because you love them. If they love you as well, they’ll understand how well-meaning you are being.

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What She Said

Umm, no. Granted, I am a woman and you haven’t given us much to go on with this question. In general, society still plays a large part in defining roles of gender and, thusly, behavior. It’s up to us as individuals to unravel what that means in our lives.

What IS Expected Of Men?

I assume you’re speaking from the vantage point of what’s wanted from men and dating, given the nature of our column. I acknowledge that men have certain pressures when it comes to relationships – the biggest sticking point with many guys being the assumption of who pays on dates. We’ve covered that several times here, but I’ll say it again – it’s not how much you spend, it’s the thought that counts. Being honest while living within your means will make for a happier relationship.

Every Woman Wants Different Things From A Man

Since I don’t have much to go on, I’ll tell you what I want from a guy – the same thing I expect from myself. Honesty, respect, communication, love and companionship all rate high on my list. Money, childcare, romance, how much time spent with the in-laws and who cleans the house are common issues. Every couple has different answers as far as these expectations go, but I’d assume the happiest relationships are where the balance of the responsibilities is relatively equal.

If He Feels Overwhelmed

If a man feels that too much is expected of him, he might want to take a look at two things – himself and the relationship he’s in. Expectations are just that – it’s up to you how (or if) you decide to fulfill them. It’s your life and resentment is a terrible waste. Don’t be a victim and assume you have to live up to someone else’s vision. Make your own rules and find a partner who believes in a similar way of life. You can’t control what others want from you (much less an entire gender), but you can control how you react.

What He Said

Do girls want too much from men? Hell yes! You want us to pay, you want us to be nice, but not too nice, you want us to love you for your mind as well as your body, you want us to put the seat down, you want us to want to do the dishes. You want a bad boy, but you want him to be monogamous, you want passion, you want consistency, you want him to have six pack abs, you want him to eat healthy, but not eat like a girl, you want him to last all night and fuck like a porn star, blah, blah, blah.

Is It Too Much?

That’s a lot to live up to. It used to be that girls were the ones burdened with all the unrealistic expectations that society heaped upon them in droves. Now men are getting our fair share. When did that happen? Where’s gender inequality when you need it? Men are starting to be as insecure as the ladies, if not more so, about sex and their bodies. That’s not right! That’s your problem. Not ours! Damn feminism. Damn you Gloria Stenheim!

Wait…what was I talking about?

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For Better Or For Worse

Everyone who’s ever been to a wedding or seen one on TV or in a movie knows the gist of typical wedding vows. There’s a line in there about sticking it out whether you’re healthy or sick, rich or poor. This shouldn’t just apply to married couples, of course. If you’re in a relationship with someone and they fall ill or lose their job, you should be there for them. You would want them to help you through your rough time, so you should treat them in the same manner.

How To Show Love When Things Get Hard

There are so many different ways that you can show your love during tough times. Whether your S.O. has lost their job or a loved one, just being there to listen to them will get you off to a good start. Offer to help where you can, but never be forceful about it. Say your boyfriend just got laid off from his job. Give him a few days to be upset, and then ask if there’s anything you can do to help. If he says he doesn’t need help, keep in mind that his ego is suffering.

Forcing your help on him right now might just make him feel worse and in even less control of his life. So give him space where he needs it. When someone is upset and hurting, it’s important to be observant. Follow their cues and you’ll help them in the best way possible.

Empathy Isn’t Everything

While empathy is incredibly important, don’t ever pretend to understand what your mate is going through if you haven’t been there yourself. If your girlfriend’s parent just passed away, and both of yours are still alive and healthy, you can’t tell her that you get what she’s experiencing. If you do, that could start an argument.

When a person is grieving, they feel like no one can really understand their pain. Your job is to make sure that your mate doesn’t feel alone. Tell her that, even if you can’t truly understand her particular sorrow, you want her to know that you’re here for her. If she needs to cry, yell, or just be held, you’ll be with her for all of it.

Be Throughful

Perform thoughtful acts without being asked to do so. If your S.O. typically does the cooking or the cleaning, take on some of that work so he or she can have extra time to do whatever helps them mellow out. Encourage them to get some form of exercise, which will help them feel better. Gently nudge them out into the outside world so they can’t just sit around all day focusing on their unhappiness. Of course, if they resist, never push them.

Perhaps if they’re not up for going out, you can coax them into watching their favorite funny movie or playing a game they like. Just try to get them smiling again. Sex can also be very healing, though you should try to be understanding if your significant other needs a break. When you’re stressed or depressed, your sex drive can take a real dive, so don’t take it personally if they’re not really in the mood.

Be Kind

Ultimately, the key to being a really supportive S.O. is to make sure that you are there when you’re needed. Be respectful of your mate’s need for alone time as well as together time, and never force things on someone who’s upset. Treat you S.O. kindly during a difficult time, and they will appreciate it on many levels, for many years to come.

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Question: First off, let me say I love you two! But I’m in a hard situation. A very good friend of mine is pregnant (by accident, old story of condom in the wallet) and she opened up to me and said she starting to love me and wished that the baby was mine! I’m not really sure how I feel about her. Any advice? And again I love you two, great advice!

–YouTube Viewer

What Are You Okay With?

Before you think of how your friend will feel, or how the baby might feel, or how anyone else will, you need to think about how YOU feel about the situation. Take some time outside of the situation to mull it over and think about the different possibilities here and how they might affect your life or the way you live. What are you okay with? What are you willing to be okay with? Tell your friend you need some time out to think about the situation – you at least deserve that.

Do You Want To Take Care Of Her And The Baby?

When you sit down and really take stock of the situation and how you feel about it, there might be a feeling of guilt or responsibility to take care of your friend and the baby. This is going to be especially true if you have at least some romantic feelings towards her, or care about her and your friendship very deeply. Stop right there!

Remember that you didn’t get her pregnant and you’re not responsible for the situation at hand. Yes, you can decide that you want the responsibility and that’s great – but remember that you don’t have to. Don’t guilt yourself into taking care of her and the baby because you feel obligated to. That’s not going to end very well. Make sure that if you do end up getting into a relationship with your friend and being a father figure to the baby that it’s really something you want to do – not something that you feel like you have to do because no one else will.

What If You Don’t?

If you decide that you don’t want to be with a girl who is pregnant (or if you don’t want to be with her), and you don’t want to take care of a baby once it’s born, that’s completely your prerogative. Remember, you didn’t get her pregnant! Don’t let anyone pass judgement on you and certainly don’t feel like you have to pass judgement on yourself. This is totally your call, and it’s perfectly fine to decide that this isn’t where you want your life to go right now. You don’t owe her anything.

Be Honest With Her

It’s your right to decide to do whatever you want to do in this situation, but you do need to be honest with her and truthful about how you feel. Yes, you do need to be delicate here, but honesty is the most important thing. If you decide not to be with her, explain to her why you feel this way and make sure the conversation stays limited to how you feel.

If you stick to your feelings about the situation, she can’t argue with it. However, if you present an entire list of logical reasons as to why a relationship between the two of you couldn’t work, she can argue with it – and she can probably make some pretty valid points. Remember that the choice to be with her or not was based on your feelings (not logic), so your explanation should too.

Give It A Trial Run

If you’re not sure about it, why not give it a try? Try being in a relationship with this girl and seeing how it develops. Talk to her about your idea to try it out, and make sure that she knows you have the right to decide that it’s not for you at any point in time. This also gives her the opportunity to try out a relationship with you without the commitment to be with you for a certain period of time or even be with you when the baby arrives. Don’t think that if you try it now that you’re stuck forever. Let it play out and see what happens!

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Oftentimes the people that we love don’t get along together. If you’ve recently learned that your parents are incredibly displeased with your choice of a partner, you may very well be reeling. Do they see some horrible quality in your S.O. that you’ve been blind to? Or are they just being ridiculous in their own expectations for you?

Consider Major Negative Feedback

If they give you majorly negative feedback on your S.O., it’s worth considering it. They may have a really good reason for not liking your boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe they know that he or she has cheated on you. You might be okay with that, but they aren’t. Maybe he/she was really rude to them and openly disrespectful of you in front of them. If these are the sort of complaints they’ve made to you, you should think really hard about why you’re with your mate.

They know you pretty well, and they may be right in thinking your S.O. is wrong for you. If their reasons for disliking your partner are miniscule or unfounded, however, don’t even bother considering a breakup. Instead, start thinking about how you’ll smooth things over between your parents and mate.

How To Get Them To Reconsider

The first step in getting them to reconsider their stance is to give them a great sales pitch on your S.O. Give them evidence to negate their fears, however irrational. Talk about all of the wonderful things that your partner does for you. Show your parents just how truly in love you are with this person. Prove to them that your significant other is a great source of happiness for you. It can even help to point out all the ways that they’re different from and better than past boyfriends or girlfriends that also met with your parent’s disapproval.

Once you’ve convinced them to give your partner a second chance, come up with a good way to get them together again. Make sure it’s in a setting that they will likely feel comfortable and happy in. Better still, work in a way for your S.O. to show off some of their better qualities. If they’re a great cook, the two of you can make dinner for your parents. If they are baseball nuts and so is your mate, go to a game together so they can talk shop and bond over a mutual interest. They may see your partner in a new, brighter light.

When The Issue Is More Serious

What if the problem is more irreparable, though? What if your parents are showing an ugly side to their personalities? Perhaps they’ve decided that they don’t like your partner because he or she is of a different race or religion from you. Maybe they think he or she is too poor or from the wrong class standing. You’re going to have to fight an uphill battle here, and you may not be able to win.

This is when you might have to make the hard choice to cut your parents out of your life, at least until they can be more accepting. It could be really difficult to do, but if you’re deeply in love with your S.O.—if they’re someone you may very well marry and/or have children with—you can’t give them up because they are being ridiculous. It’s a hard but important decision that you must make.

Hopefully, it won’t come to that. Remind them that if they love you and want you to be happy, they’ll respect your choice in a partner. Be patient and help them learn to accept your S.O. Sometimes time is the best bandage for a situation such as this.

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What She Said:

1. I want to honor my vows. “For better or worse” is what I agreed to – and staying faithful means things will stay on “the better” end of the spectrum.
2. The kids. I don’t have ‘em, but I know a lot of couples that choose to act on the up and up – for themselves as much as an example for their children.
3. It should be number one, but my favorite reason is simple: love. My husband is my best friend; I’d never do anything to hurt him.
4. The grass is not always greener! Sure, it’s nice to daydream about that hunk giving you the eye at the grocery store – but he probably isn’t any better than what you have at home. And at least you’ve got that one trained!
5. Lying corrodes the soul. A good marriage is based on mutual admiration and respect, not deceit.

You don’t have to be married to honor vows. If you’ve agreed, as a couple, to be monogamous that’s enough to remove you from the market.

Monogamy Doesn’t Have To Be Boring

Monogamy doesn’t have to spell monotony. Bet you haven’t heard that one before, but it’s true! Think of ways to keep it hot with the one you’ve already got. Fantasizing is allowed – getting on with Brad Pitt in your mind can be satisfying and save your marriage. A win/win!

Trust & Intimacy Is Rewarding

Building intimacy in the long-term is a great challenge – and a great reward. It takes time to develop. Flirtation is fleeting, but a deep bond can last the rest of your life. Before you think about stepping out of your committed relationship, take a moment to think of the consequences. Trust can be a fragile thing, and once it’s broken it can be difficult to repair. Take stock of what you’ve got.

What He Said:

1. It’s called technology. It will fuck you, and not in a fun way. Anything you do online is recorded, somewhere. It’s usually not an issue, but when infidelity happens, it’s easier to prove and to nail your ass with.
2. It’s called the Internet. If you cheat and you piss off your significant other, they can and often will smear your ass all over the Internet. That means any sexy videos or photos you’ve taken, any naughty text messages, anything that can make you look bad to a perspective employer will be put online and will be easily found by perspective employers (who are looking for that kind of thing. Perverts).
3. The juice is almost always not worth the squeeze. Assuming that you cheat with someone and that sex is the greatest sex ever had in human history, it will still not be worth the hell your fidelity will put all parties through. Your other half is going to rip you a new one, over the course of several years, and then the legal system will reopen those still healing wounds and rip an additional one into the one he/she just ripped into you. It’s not worth it, even if you have some crazy, Justin Timberlake on tour sex.
4. The Chris Rock rule. Many people violate, what I call “The Chris Rock Rule of Infidelity” which states: the person you cheat on your partner with must be as hot or hotter than your partner. If you bang someone way hotter than your partner, well, at least they can understand on some level. You had a chance with someone way out of your league and you took it. They will be hurt, but they won’t be mad. If you just bang some skank who happens to be willing to do things your partner won’t, well, that’s your ass. She will be way pissed because you banged someone lower on the quality scale than you have waiting for you at home. If you do this, you are an idiot.
5. Fantasy is not usually the reality. Say you’re a 40 something guy and some hot 19 year old is all up on you and wants it. Bad. Do you really think it will be as good as you imagine? Sure, she’s hot and young, but she’s also young and crazy. She’s going to go apeshit when it’s just sex for you, and even if she doesn’t, it probably won’t live up to your fantasy. How Could it?

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Not a lot of people talk about it, but it can feel pretty bad when your partner makes more than you do. Though stereotypically it’s the man who gets upset to discover his girlfriend out earns him, the envy can go both ways. It’s particularly tough if you’re competitive by nature or happen to work in the same field.

Things can be even worse if you suddenly find yourself unemployed, while your partner continues to succeed in their job. With the way the economy has been going, this problem is more commonplace than ever. So what can you do to get rid of some of the awkwardness and animosity? Whether you’re the one who’s broke or the one who just got the big raise, there is lots of relationship advice to make your wage gap less problematic.

If Your Salary Is Greater

If you’re the one who’s doing well, you need to attempt to be as empathetic as possible. Try not to go on and on if you get a big raise or promotion. You deserve to be happy and you certainly shouldn’t hide it, but one night of celebrating is enough. No need to keep referring to it over and over in front of your S.O. They will still be happy for you, but if they’re having a particularly hard time themselves, they may not fully express it. The truth is that they’re probably feeling not only jealous, but also guilty about that jealousy.

As a result, their congratulations to you may not be as thrilled-sounding as you’d expect. Don’t let this hurt your feelings or diminish your own excitement. Just be aware that the subject is a little touchy. Though you may feel like enjoying some of your hard earned cash by going on more extravagant dates, try not to go overboard. If it’s your turn to treat, you can go somewhere a little pricier than normal, but don’t make a habit of it.

If you typically split the check, be sure to pick a destination with your partner’s budget in mind. It’s likely that you’re partner won’t feel comfortable saying that something is out of their price range, so don’t put them in a position where they have to protest.

If You’re Salary Is Less

On the other end of the equation, if you’re the individual who isn’t making the big bucks, you also need to be able to consider your mate’s feelings. Don’t rain on their parade because you’re feeling bad about yourself. Even if you’ve been out of work for a month, if your sweetie arrives home and informs you he or she was just promoted, let them know how proud you are. Celebrate with them a little. Remind yourself that you want your partner to be happy, and that their successes are your successes as well.

If you really feel like you can’t handle one more minute of hearing them talk about their good fortune, calmly say as much. Simply state that you’ve been feeling down about your own situation. Explain to them that you are happy for them, but you can’t help feeling a little jealous. Then ask them if you can change the topic for awhile, and make sure to do so without any rancor in your voice. As with most relationship issues, honesty is the best policy and good communication is important.

Keep Yourself Grounded

No matter which role you’re currently playing, you need to stay in touch with reality. Remind yourself that you might not always be the one in your current position. If the roles were reversed, how would you want to be treated? Someday they very well may be, and you’ll be counting on your significant other to show you the same respect and love you showed them.

You should also remember that a big salary isn’t everything in life. If you both woke up poor tomorrow, you would still be lucky to have each other. A little career or monetary envy isn’t worth breaking up over. Keep that in mind, and you’ll be able to bridge the gap.

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You’ve broken up with your ex and are either single or with someone new, but you know you jumped back into the dating pool too soon. You realize this was a rebound knee-jerk reaction and what’s worse, you can’t get your ex out of your mind. You want her back and you want her back for good! Stick around because not only will I tell you how you can get her back, but how you can improve on your own life and self-image at the same time.

Learn To Live Your Life

We all know men and women are wired differently – “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus right?” But what if you could rewire the inner you, both physically as well as emotionally! You can and whilst you may not wake up tomorrow a totally new person both physically and emotionally (believe me it doesn’t even happen overnight on those reality television shows), the first step in creating a new you to win her back is to START living the life you want to live and being the person you and SHE wants you to be.

It can’t be that difficult or too far a reach or disconnect or else she wouldn’t have dated you in the first place right? We are all primed from early childhood, allocated labels, “athletic,” “academic,” “artistic” etc., but often these labels are self-fulfilling prophecies that create our identity as opposed to shaping our own identity.

Explore A New You

Despite the fact that your breakup with your ex might have been the catalyst for your desire to change, self-actualization, or becoming more confident is part of life’s evolution. With evolution, your needs change, you acquire wisdom and experience and now you have reached a stage where you need to try something different.

You may want to explore a new career, move to a different location, explore other activities and behaviors. In fact, this could also be the reason your relationship with your ex back-fired. Neither of you were getting what you needed. Perhaps she felt unappreciated or bored, and perhaps you found excuses to be away from home. However, the breakup between the two of you is treating the symptom, not the cause.

Take Care Of Yourself

Take the next couple of days to make a list of all the positive and negative factors in your relationship but at the same time, look after your health by eating healthy, exercising and getting enough sleep. This time apart allows you to reassess your life, and your possible life together with your ex, objectively.

By the time you meet up with your ex she will already begin to see the ‘new emerging you’; and might possibly be inspired to join you. Whatever the situation, it is important to remember that you’re not stuck with who you were in the past. We often feel like who or what we aspire to be has to “make sense.” But we’re always growing, and taking a leap into a new life is exciting and even better with your ex by your side.

It starts off as small steps and it was Confucius who said: “A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step,” and so to create a new you and a new relationship, it’s often the little things that are the first step.

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Preparation Is Important

Preparation is important here! Make sure your home is neat, tidy and most of all, comfortable. If you have kids, make sure you have organized a babysitter who can watch the children in their home. If this isn’t feasible, arrange to have a babysitter on standby at your home. Make sure that whoever is watching your kids is prepared for “overtime” if you and your lover end up getting a little frisky after dinner.

Set a flirty mood by sending the invitation to dinner to her office, leave it on her bed, in her briefcase or even send a romantic electronic invite. The fact that you actually took the time to “formally” invite her to dinner at your home will intrigue her enough that you’re almost guaranteed a “yes!”

Planning The Menu

Make sure you plan the menu well ahead of time and shop for the ingredients that you need a few days before your date. This way, if there’s anything that you’ve missed or that you run out of, you still have plenty of time to run to the store without things turning into a giant mess.

Figuring out what to make can be difficult, because you want something that is quick enough that it leaves you time for seduction at the end of the meal but you also want something nice enough that it will impress your gal. Furthermore, you don’t want something so complicated that you’re bound to screw it up and you also want to make sure it’s something she’ll actually like too! What a list! Make sure you know about any food allergies your partner may or may not have before you go shopping.

Time For Fun!

Now’s the time for “dress up” or should we call it “dress down.” Choose a masculine apron and strip naked, leaving your front covered with just your butt cheeks showing. Obviously, you would have ensured that you are freshly showered, wearing your best aftershave and have removed any unwanted hair she might have an aversion to (be it back or butt hair for that matter!).

Make a slightly exaggerated but “cheeky” effort in transforming your lounge/dining room into a sensual, romantic setting. Bend over catching her eye as you lay out the scented candles; carefully chosen mood music and table settings. Adjust the suitable temperature heating (comfortable enough to disrobe in) and check the working CD/IPOD.

Getting Down To Business

Now it’s time for the “main course.” Act the part of the gentleman and tell her you are going to “dress for dinner,” and come out in your TUX (or as fancy as you have). If she objects, saying that she would rather you stay as you are – then obey the lady, after all, the intention is to get naked anyway.

Surprise her by playing a little scene out of the movie (9½ weeks) by blindfolding her; feeding her little portions from the plate and making her guess what food it is. If she gets it wrong, she has to pay a forfeit and what forfeit is entirely up to you – use your imagination and choose one that she would feel comfortable with. Reverse the roles and allow her to do the same to you. Feeding one another is a highly erotic aspect of foreplay that bodes extremely well in building up anticipation.

Following Up With Romance

Last but not least, make sure you have scattered red rose petals all over the area you plan to use to make love, whether it is the bedroom, fireplace or next to the hot tub! You will have planned this before you started cooking, so that you and your lover have a romantic, sensual place to go when things get too hot in the kitchen!

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When you’re one half of a serious relationship, especially if that relationship is a marriage, you can no longer make large decisions on your own. Everything that you do affects not only you, but also your significant other. Therefore, it’s imperative that you seek out relationship advice and learn how to make major decisions as a unit.

You must become better at judging where to compromise and where to stand your ground. Furthermore, you need to be able to determine when sacrificing something you want and allowing your S.O. to get what they want will be better for your relationship as a whole. This, among other things, will require you to strengthen your communication skills together.

Take Time To Talk About It

The first step toward making a big decision together is to set aside time to discuss it. Make sure that you’re both in good moods. If you’ve just had an argument or one of you has had a particularly bad day, you’re not going to be in the proper mindset to make a large scale decision.

If you’re both feeling fairly calm and happy, ask your S.O. if you can talk about the big topic at hand. Then eliminate any possible distractions. Turn off the TV or your music, set your phones to silent and put the computer to sleep. This is a potentially life altering choice for both of you, so you want to make sure it has both you and your significant other’s fullest attention. Don’t have the talk if you’ve been drinking or while you’re drinking, either. You should both be in a very clear state of mind.

Lay Out The Facts

Once you’ve found the proper time and setting to hold your discussion, begin by establishing the facts. Let’s say that you’ve decided you’re ready to start having kids, and your S.O. isn’t quite so sure. You need to state your position and the reasons why you feel ready—you don’t want to wait until you’re too old, you feel financially settled, etc.

Then ask your S.O. to explain what they’re feeling and why they’re feeling it. Maybe he or she wants kids, but feels like they need more time to establish themselves at their job first. Without getting defensive or hostile, ask how much more time they think they need. No matter what the topic is, you should do your best to get your mate to open up fully and be honest about their feelings. It’s important that you both be completely open about what you want and your related fears.

Looking For Compromise

After you’ve each fully explained your side of the story, it’s time to look for compromise . In the case of the baby issue, you may have to agree to wait a little longer than you’d like, as long as your S.O. agrees to get started a little earlier than they’d hoped. When meeting in the middle is a possibility, go for it. Of course, sometimes it isn’t.

Perhaps your issue is that your mate wants to move to a new city to take a promotion in their job, and you don’t want to move because you’ll be giving up your current job to do so. In a case like that, there’s no way to fully compromise, so you’ll ultimately have to decide what will be best for your partnership. Step back and attempt to view things more logically. Will there be other job possibilities for you in this new city? Is your S.O. the bigger bread winner in your relationship, or are you? Do the pros for one side outweigh the cons for the other?

Staying Calm, Cool And Rational

If you and your S.O. can keep the right relationship advice in mind and both keep your cool and be as rational as possible, you’ll find you’re able to reach a consensus sooner rather than later. That doesn’t mean that either of you should be a pushover, but it does mean that you can’t let emotions alone rule your choices. Most importantly, though, you have to remember that you’re no longer in it only for your own good. The health, happiness, and success of your relationship as a couple are now your priority when it comes to making big choices.

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It can be very exciting when the time comes for you and your significant other to take your first vacation together. Time away from your everyday surroundings and obligations can make for a truly wonderful bonding experience. But travels don’t always go as planned, and you may find yourself encountering a side of your partner you don’t find very attractive. How can you make sure that your trip goes smoothly? Lots of advance planning helps, along with patience and a good sense of humor.

Plan Ahead!

It’s always important to have a rock solid plan when you’re traveling, but never more so than when it’s the first time in the relationship that you and your mate go away together. The better you plan, the less you’ll have to worry over during the trip. First and foremost, make sure to pick a place you’re both truly interested in visiting. Since it’s your first trip together, unless you’re both seasoned travelers, you should probably stay closer to home.

A domestic destination promises a shorter flight, no need for passports, and no language barrier to worry about. It can also make for a more affordable trip, which can help eliminate a common traveling worry—overspending. Minimizing stressors before you’ve even stepped into the airport can be very helpful. Speaking of airports, you’ll also need to decide on a mode of transportation. For a first trip, flying or taking a train is probably your best option.

Road trips are notorious for quickly going from great to terrible; you can get lost, your car can break down, etc. While flying and taking the train also have their drawbacks, at least neither of you will be directly to blame if something does go wrong. After settling on a destination and a mode of transportation, make sure to pick your accommodations together. Agree ahead of time on how you’ll pay for your lodgings, so you won’t have to worry about it later.

Allow For Extra Time & Plan What To Pack

A few days prior to your trip, plan how you’ll be getting to the airport or train station. Establish a meeting time and place that allows you both extra time to get there. If one of you cuts it too close and is late, you’ll be starting your romantic getaway with a guaranteed fight. Next, plan what to pack together. You want to make sure that both of you bring the right clothing for any activities that either of you have in mind, like a fancy dinner out, hiking, swimming, etc. That way, none of your plans will be ruined because someone doesn’t have the right clothing to participate.

You should also make sure you both pack a few things to keep you entertained on the journey. You’ll want to bring a couple of things you can enjoy together, like playing cards. However, you shouldn’t assume that your mate will stay awake and entertain you through the whole flight. Bring a book or an MP3 player in case your S.O. falls asleep while you’re en route.

Remember To Have Fun!

Once you’ve arrived, let the fun begin. Different people have different traveling styles, so you may discover that you’re more laidback, while the person you’re in a relationship with is a scheduler. If you two don’t see eye to eye on how to manage your daily activities, try to compromise. Block out half of the day to be spontaneous and the other half to stick to an itinerary. Being able to compromise during your vacation won’t just make your trip easier, but will also demonstrate that you are generally considerate.

What if you encounter a traveling disaster? How you handle little road bumps will say a lot about you as a person and a partner. Try not to panic or go into heavy complaint mode. Remain calm, help your mate calm down as well, and remind yourselves that you’re just on vacation. Don’t let someone’s lost wallet or an extreme flight delay ruin your entire trip. Showing some grace under pressure and keeping things light will turn you into a hero.

Don’t Let A Bad Vacation Ruin Your Relationship

What if the vacation disaster is that you really don’t like being with your boyfriend or girlfriend 24/7? The best thing you can do is suck it up and weather the trip, then get home and think about where your relationship is headed. Don’t do anything rash when you’re away from home. While a vacation together can teach you a lot about each other, you shouldn’t let one bad week in unfamiliar territory ruin your entire relationship. Of course, most vacations go wonderfully, and you may return more in love than ever before. Planning ahead and staying flexible once you arrive will certainly help toward getting that happy result.

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Start Off Slow

With agreement at hand, you have to respect the decision to take it slow! However taking it slow doesn’t necessarily mean just holding hands. You’d be surprised as to how erotic, exciting and anticipatory restricting your physical contact can actually be.

There are many types or sorts of kissing that dangle on a continuum that ranges from foreplay to after play like a g-string on a wash line. These kisses range from playful kisses like the chocolate kiss to the cold, peeled grapes kiss. Have I got your attention now?

Don’t Kiss Just Her Mouth

The Kama Sutra lists 19 different types of kisses, but now is your time to invent more! Pay attention to the areas of her body you have neglected before. Just because you are kissing her doesn’t mean you have to restrict yourself to her lips. Why don’t you pay lavish attention to her legs, working your way along her legs, always remembering your self-control. Start at her little toes, to the top of her leg, then back down to her ankles, knees and so on, occasionally blowing against the back of her legs, alternating between hard and lighter breaths. This technique is sure to leave her begging for more!

The Chocolate Kiss

There is also the Chocolate Kiss. What women wouldn’t enjoy this one? It’s always best to use a smooth, creamy chocolate that melts easily in your mouth. The smoother the better, obviously! Once the chocolate starts to melt, kiss her and twirl your tongues around hers.

One could also use hard but small pieces of candy, mix up the colors and try and guess at the different flavors, the fun part being trying to steal her bits of candy as she does yours.

Other creative contributors to “sweet kisses” are caramel, strawberries and cream, which involve the seductive licking of spoons, feeding one another strawberries, exchanging the strawberries with whipped cream between each other’s mouth.

The Champagne Kiss

Champagne or fizzy drink can provide a different sensation so the more fizz, the better. When you are ready to kiss her, take a sip and keep some in your mouth, dribble some into your partners’ mouth gently so that you share more than spill into one another’s mouth.

Use Your Teeth

Okay, so we’ve spoken about lips, but what’s inside the lips besides the tongue are the teeth. Now that’s an interesting thought. Starting slowly, simply graze parts of her body as you kiss her, using the edges of your teeth almost like fingernails, or as you would your tongue, lightly tickling her shoulders, arms and hands. Suck on each one of her fingers and, as you remove them from your mouth, softly apply pressure using your teeth.

Nibble Her Skin

If she enjoyed this, try lightly biting the back of her neck or other body parts in between passionate kissing. Don’t overdo it and remember, when you feel you are going to lose control – STOP! Your agreement was to take it slow, to build trust and I can assure you, by the time the next date night arrives, she will be ready to jump your bones!

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Sometimes a simple “sorry” just doesn’t cut it. In fact, if you do a poor job of apologizing, you may find yourself getting into a whole new argument with your S.O. and you’ll never reach a conflict resolution. A truly good, genuine apology, however, can be like a well-executed set of stitches. Not only does it close the wound you’ve opened up, but it can minimize the chance of future emotional scarring.

Mean What You Say

Though it may seem obvious, one of the most important ways to apologize properly is to really mean it. If your apology is cast off carelessly just to end the fight at hand, it won’t be believable. An insincere apology will only rile your mate up, not satisfy their need for appeasement. Instead of hastily saying you’re sorry, hear your partner’s argument all the way through.

Then pause to consider what you’ve done wrong, and genuinely apologize for it. It can be hard to acknowledge your own wrong-doing, but if you really love your partner, you need to admit that you did something wrong and are really sorry about it. If you’re not really sorry, then you need to call a time out on the argument so you can think more by yourself.

Choose Your Words Carefully

When you actually go about apologizing, you really need to be careful with your word choice. Saying things like “I’m sorry you’re so angry” or “I’m sorry that you don’t approve of what I did” isn’t really apologizing and won’t do anything for actual conflict resolution. That’s just turning things around on your partner under the guise that you’re sorry. You need to actually take responsibility for your actions when you apologize (i.e. “I’m sorry that I forgot to mail our rent check this month”.)

You also need to be careful with your tone. Don’t yell your apology angrily, and don’t let sarcasm creep into your voice. Take a good, deep breath to calm yourself down before you start speaking. If your S.O. starts to interrupt you as you’re talking, just let them. After they’ve said their piece, start your apology again. If you keep your cool, even if your partner can’t, your apology will feel more genuine.

See Your Partner’s Point Of View

To further improve upon your apology, make sure to acknowledge that you understand where your partner is coming from. Simply stating that you get why they’re mad shows a level of empathy and regret that they’ll appreciate. If you really want to win them over, say that you want to discuss how to prevent a situation like this from happening again.

Ask for their advice and input. Inviting them to help figure out the best conflict resolution reminds them that you really do value their opinion and their role in your life. Part of apologizing is not only showing that you are truly sorry for what you’ve done, but also showing that you want to keep from repeating your mistakes in the future. A hug and a kiss once you’ve both calmed down never hurts, either!

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No matter how in love you may be, there are going to be plenty of times in your relationship where you and your significant other disagree about something. Maybe you can’t decide on where to move to, or maybe you just can’t agree on what to have for dinner. Either way, it is possible to get your way without coming off like a self-centered jerk. You just have to make a calm, reasonable argument and know how to pick your battles.

How Important Is It?

If you find that you and your partner are at an impasse, the first thing to do is to decide how truly important it is that you get your way. How upset will you really be if you have to let your S.O. win on this particular topic? If you feel that you can live with it, you should go ahead and let your partner win. In doing so, you’ll not only end the debating, but you’ll also give yourself bargaining power in future disagreements.

If you agree to move into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s apartment instead of having them move into your place, you may find that you have the upper hand when it comes to choosing your next place of residence.

On the other hand, if you decide that you really want to get your way on the matter at hand, you may have to suggest that you’ll let your significant other make the call next time. Either way, ensuring that neither of you always gets their way is a compromise that can pay off. It makes sure that you don’t look too self involved when it is your turn to get your way.

Solidify Your Argument

When you are determined to come out on top, make sure that you have a truly solid argument. A lawyer wouldn’t show up to court without having done their research, and you shouldn’t show up to a decision-making debate empty handed, either.

Let’s say you get a job offer that would require you both to move, and you know your partner likes where you currently live. You need to have a well-considered list of positives when the time comes to discuss the issue.

Moreover, your argument can’t just be about how the move would be good for you. You should be able to point out how it will benefit you, how it will benefit your mate, and how it will benefit you as a couple. Don’t gloss over things or fib about how great it will be, but do look for a way to sell your S.O. on it.

You might start by admitting that this new city will be more expensive than where you currently live, but that the raise you’ll be getting and all of the added amenities will make it worthwhile. Perhaps your partner loves hiking, and you know that this new city is near a big national park.

Not only will these positive revelations make your partner feel better about moving, but demonstrating how much research you’ve put into the decision shows them how much you care about it. If you can make them see how important it is to you, your S.O. will be more likely to let you have your way.

It’s also key that you make them feel included in the decision, even if the outcome does end up in your favor. Never make a big decision without consulting your partner, even if you suspect that it will take some effort to win them over.

Stay Calm And Don’t Be Critical

Ultimately, if you can remain calm and congenial while making a clear, solid argument, you’ll drastically increase your odds of getting your way. Promising to compromise on future issues or offering a trade off can help.

Most importantly, make sure that your significant other knows that you really do care about their opinion in the matter, and they are sure to show you the same respect.

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It won’t be an easy thing to do, and you may be tempted to chicken out. That’s when you have to remember that your significant other will be far angrier about your secret if they find out about it from someone other than you. What many people fail to understand is that the act of hiding something is often as bad (or worse!) than the very thing you’re hiding. Keep that in mind and you’ll realize that you have to move forward with talking about your secret, no matter how difficult it will seem.

How To Make It Less Painful

There are, however, ways to make your big revelation less painful. First and foremost, never tell a dark secret in the heat of the moment. The time to tell your girlfriend that you have herpes isn’t in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session. You need to tell her well before it gets to that point, and you need to do it in a manner that befits the gravity of your news. Wait until you’re in private and let her know that you need to talk to her about something.

Then tell her the bad news and provide her with as much information as you possibly can. In the case of the STD revelation, be certain to fill her in on all the precautions you can take together, on any testing she might need to get (which you should offer to pay for), etc. She will likely be upset, but your diligence will show her that you will do everything you can to make the situation right. Be understanding if she’s freaked out and needs a breather.

Sooner Is Better Than Later

Getting the secret out sooner rather than later is generally a good bit of relationship advice. The longer it festers before you bring it to light, the angrier your girlfriend will be. Let’s say that your credit is less than desirable. Your boyfriend has proposed to you and you’re having a discussion about all the things you’ll need to do surrounding your impending marriage. Instead of waiting to talk about your poor credit score until after your wedding, bring it up now.

When he brings up the question of whether or not you should combine your finances, be honest about your debt. Tell him you want to work together with him to figure out the best solution possible. No one enjoys discussing financial problems with their significant other, but it’s an important talk to have. You could keep it a secret now, only to have it bite you in the rear later when you try to apply for a home loan together. When your spouse finds out you hid it from him for all that time, he’ll be far more upset with you.

Maintaining Control Over The Situation

Another reason that it’s important to tell your significant other your unpleasant secret as early as possible is that it gives you more control over how you break the news. It’s better to have a serious talk on a day when your lover is in a good mood than on one when they’re already upset about something else in their lives. If you have to come out with a secret at the last minute, you can’t control what kind of day your mate’s been having. You also might not have time to prepare appropriately before then.

That means that you won’t have any good news, like being able to list possible solutions, to talk about alongside the bad. Plus, the longer you put it off, the higher the chance that your lover will find out from someone else or through another channel, which just makes you look like a big, fat liar. Plan out how you’re going to do it and make sure you have as much control over the situation as possible. As a result, you’ll likely have an easier time with your discussion. Take this relationship advice and do anything you can to soften the blow for your significant other.

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Women Love Romance

Almost every woman loves romance – they love to be sweet talked and told how beautiful they are or how much they mean to a guy. This is another one of those big “men are different than women” things – men don’t put as much stock into words themselves as women do. Words mean a lot to women and with the right words, you can have direct entry into a woman’s heart. If you say the right things, you’ll make a woman melt almost immediately!

Compliments To Use

When you compliment a woman, what you say goes directly into her brain and into her heart. She’ll remember what you said for weeks, months or even years and if it’s something really special, she’ll never forget it. Here are some great compliments to use when you want to make a woman swoon:

• Start any sentence with “I love it when you….” Fill in the blank with something she does that you think is cute or that makes your life easier. This can be really effective if you know she goes out of her way to do something for you. Telling her you love this shows her that a) you noticed that she did it and b) that you appreciate it. That kind of compliment is golden!
• “You make me….” Use this one to tell her about something she does to make your life better in some way. Women love to fix their guys – so tell her something that she’s done for you that makes things easier or better for you.
• Compliment her in ways that make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. Make her feel like she’s truly unique, special and there’s no one else in the world like her. Tell her why she’s perfect for you and how she’s absolutely irreplaceable.

Old Favorites

There are some sayings that have been around for awhile that still work – in fact, these phrases are probably what you’d consider to be a “hammer” in your compliment tool belt. Nothing new or fancy, but these phrases definitely do the trick.

• Saying “I love you” is always in style. Of course, you want to make sure that you’re in that stage of your relationship before you bust out the L-word. If you just met that day, this probably isn’t appropriate to use.
• Tell her that she’s beautiful. Use the word “beautiful” – you may think that “hot” equates to the same thing, but for a woman, it doesn’t. If you tell her that she’s “hot,” she’ll think you regard her as more of an object than a person. Tell her how breathtaking she looks instead.

Being Genuine Is Everything

Don’t just say empty words when you give a woman a compliment. She will see right through it before you even finish getting the sentence out of your mouth. Make sure that you mean what you say! Because women speak in the language of emotions, it’s important to attach your emotions to everything you say. Yes, you’re making yourself a little more vulnerable this way, but it’s exactly what is going to make the difference to your woman.

Pick up lines aren’t what you want to use to give your partner or a woman you like a genuine compliment. What you say needs to come directly from your heart – not memorized beforehand. When talking to a woman, don’t over-exaggerate. Be honest and put the real you out there.

Have A Positive Focus

When wooing a woman with romance, you want to make sure that what you’re saying has a positive focus. Stay focused on talking about the things you like about your woman, not the things that you don’t like.  A great way to be positive is to be kind and appreciative of the thinks you like about your partner about of the things she does for you to make your life better.

Actions do speak louder than words, so you also want to make sure that you’re doing kind things in addition to saying nice and sweet things to your woman. If you’re saying one thing but doing another, you’re only going to confuse or upset her. Here’s how to really show a woman that she’s important to you:

• Spend time with her. If you’re on the phone, get off and talk to her instead.
• Make eye contact with her. Show her you care about her through your eyes.
• Show her that you’re grateful for her being in your life.
• Show her that she’s important to you and you’re happy she’s there with you.

If you compliment a woman and show her that you really care, you’ll make her melt in no time!

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Mars vs. Venus

Men and women are different in almost every single way, and how love is perceived is one of them. The way guys and gals feel about love itself is so different that most men usually can’t even fathom what goes through a woman’s head when she’s falling for a guy. It can be difficult for him to know what to say or do to get a woman to swoon but there are lots of easy ways you can increase the chances that she will be attracted to you and fall in love.

What Is Love, Anyway?

Take a step back and examine the idea of love in general. Most people would define it as a deeply intense emotional connection with another person. However, that is only partly true – there is another definition of the emotion that explains what love is and why it makes us feel the way we do.

Literally, love is a series of complex chemicals released from your brain into your body that can affect several things such as your mood, emotions and energy levels. When these chemicals are released, they create the positive feelings of being “in love.”

How Do Women Really Feel About It?

Women spend their entire lives getting ready for love – it’s one of the most important things to a woman and it’s completely woven into the messages that society sends to women. Girls think about it often even from a very young age – they think about the man they’re going to marry or what it might feel like when they finally do go head over heels for a guy.

To be successful in getting a woman to swoon over you, you have to understand that for a woman, love is extremely important. So get ready to stack the cards in your favor and do a few things to increase the chances that she will fall for you.

Make Nice With Your Girl’s Friends And Family

To some degree, a woman’s friends and family have to approve of you for her to be interested in being your partner for the long haul. If you’re a total jerk to her family members or her friends, or do things that the people who are important to your woman disapprove of, you’re just stacking the deck against yourself.

It’s very difficult for a woman to love a man who her family or friends dislike, so make it easier for her by being on your best behavior around people who matter to your woman.

Open Up And Be Emotional

It’s important to make sure you come across as a strong, happy guy with a lot of confidence, however, you also can’t be afraid to show emotion. Women speak in the language of emotions, so hiding yours or acting like you don’t care about hers isn’t going to get you very far at all.

Make sure you show your girl that her emotions are important to you and that you’re not afraid to show your emotions when you are together. Making yourself a little vulnerable to her will make it easier for her to have strong feelings towards you.

Get To Know Your Girl

If you really want to develop a deep bond with a woman, take some time to really get to know her and who she is. Show real and genuine interest in the things that she likes and ask questions about what passions she has and what drives her to do what she does.

Make a habit to actually listen when she’s talking to you and make mental notes about what is really and truly important to your woman. This will show her that you actually do care and the things that mean something to her mean something to you too.

Give Her The Best Sex Of Her Life

Women associate emotion with sex – it’s just part of who they are and how they feel about sex. When they experience an amazing orgasm, they’re more likely to feel strong emotions towards the person they had sex with. Make yourself that person by giving your girl the best sex she’s ever had!

Learn to be an incredible lover. Take some time to read up on how to give a woman a sheet soaking orgasm – don’t think that just because you’ve been having sex for a while that you know everything there is to know about how to please a woman. There’s probably a lot you don’t know – so read up on how to really give a woman pleasure and then practice on your partner.

Be the best she’s ever had! Make sure that she has an orgasm first and pay attention to her body language to determine whether you’re on the right track or not. She’ll let you know what she likes and doesn’t like by the way her body responds to your touches.

Remember To Give Her Space

Girls are complicated – they need to feel close to a guy but at the same time, they need enough space to still feel like they’re independent. Make sure your girl has a life outside of your relationship. Encourage your girl to spend time with her own friends and do things that are fun without you. Take the opportunity to spend some time with your own friends and show your girl that you’re strong, confident and independent too.

You want to get close to a woman – both physically and emotionally – to get her to fall in love, but you want to make sure that you’re not too clingy or needy and that you’re giving your girl plenty of space as well.

Love Yourself First

Remember that the best way to get love from other people is to love yourself first and be someone who other people will naturally love too. If you don’t accept yourself and see yourself as worthy of other people’s love, other people aren’t going to see you worthy of it either.

When you have that inner strength and confidence, it’s incredible how many people are drawn to you and attracted to you. People naturally want to be around others who are happy and who love themselves. If you truly love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and what you have to offer the world, others (including women) will fall in love with you too.

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What She Said:

1. Take her on romantic date nights.
2. Offer to help (and follow through on said offer) with cooking and cleaning.
3. Thoughtful gifts – diamonds are always good!
4. Remain faithful and make her feel like she’s “Number One.”
5. Share/communicate your feelings.

I can feel our male readership cringing from here. Don’t worry guys; it’s not as painful as it sounds! The above are guidelines – you’re still allowed to intrinsically be yourself. After all, that’s whom your girlfriend (or wife) fell for in the first place.

Treating Her With Love And Respect

What this list entails are actions to refer to as your relationship goes along. It means checking in, communicating and not taking your awesome mate for granted. It also means, as you continue to treat her well, that you can expect the same from her. Again, it’s not about a tit-for-tat exchange of favors – it’s about consistently treating each other with love and respect.

How To Make Sure She Stays In Love

What does marking her birthday with a thoughtful gift; planning date nights and washing the dishes get you? Unconditional love, foot rubs when you need them and a steady flow of sex with someone you adore. That doesn’t sound too bad! And remember, for every Valentine’s Day there’s a Steak & Blowjob Day just around the corner. (More on that soon!)

What He Said:

1. The 3 C’s (Chocolate, compliments and cunnilingus)
2. Regular massages (from you or someone else)
3. Consistency
4. Regular Romance
5. A housekeeper

The three c’s are pretty self-explanatory. Women tend to enjoy them and they really can’t seem to get enough of any of them. Individually they are great, put the three together in a single evening and she may worship the ground you walk on for life.

Help Her Relax

Massages are great too. It’s a tough world, especially for women and often the issue is in the tissue. You gotta get it out, the stress, tension, knots, etc have to go. You should always be giving them, but making sure she gets regular rub downs from trained professionals (who leave the happy endings to the two of you!)

Consistency is an overlooked component. A man does not choose a woman, a woman chooses the man. She chose you for a reason. Figure it out what it is and make sure that you deliver on a regular basis. When she says things like “I don’t know who you are any more” or “you’ve changed” it means “Hey! I chose that guy and now your some other dude. Where did he go? “ Don’t let that happen.

Keep The Romance Alive

Regular romance can mean anything, but spending doesn’t have to be a part of it. Thoughtful gifts that show you are paying attention are great. It shouldn’t be about money or flowers, or stuff. It needs to show her that you are listening and you care. The best gifts you can give her are the ones that she never explicitly asks for. She will tell you want she wants, if you listen, but if she has to say “I want x for Christmas” that’s not so good.

A housekeeper is like female Viagra. If your woman comes home to a freshly cleaned apartment that she didn’t clean, she will probably rape you on the spot. Because it shows that you listen that you care and that she’s important.

If you combine these five things into your relationship, you’ll be good. If you combine them into a single day (and do so on a regular basis) you will never worry about keeping her happy again.

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It’s hard to think that “opposites attract” would have become such a common saying if there weren’t some truth in it. What does it really mean, though? Can you be total opposites in every way and still make for a perfect love match? Or do some opposites work together better than others? If you find yourself attracted to someone who seems really different from you, how can you tell if it will be more than a passing fling?

What Is So Different?

The first thing to address is exactly what’s so different about you and your new love interest. Maybe you like different types of music or different movies and TV shows. Perhaps you love to read fictional novels and your new partner only reads nonfiction. Maybe he or she doesn’t enjoy reading at all. Some people would worry that, without common hobbies or interests, you will run out of things to talk about early on in your relationship.

That’s not necessarily true, however. Perhaps you’re both open-minded types who are generally curious. In that case, you might end up learning about a lot of new things through your partner, and vice versa. Your differences may end up being the very things that keep you the most interested in each other.

How Far Do Your Opposite Qualities Go?

What if your opposite qualities go beyond things like hobbies, though? What if your very personalities are what make you opposites? Sometimes that can be a good thing. If you’re a big talker and your partner is more of an observer and listener, you may find that you’re extremely well matched. If one of you is more of a control freak and the other likes to go with the flow, the Type B person may be perfectly fine with letting the Type A one make all the decisions.

In fact, that pairing would probably be far less disastrous than getting two bossy Type A folks together. Other opposite pairings probably wouldn’t fair as well. If you’re a neat freak and your new boyfriend or girlfriend is a slob, it’s highly likely you’ll be experiencing problems the minute you start living together. If you’re a goody two shoes dating a bad boy or girl, it may seem fun for now. As things get more serious further down the line, however, you may find that his or her unwillingness to shape up is incredibly unattractive.

Breaking It Down Logically

The best way to figure out if your opposite qualities can meld to form a happy relationship is to think about them logically. Try to imagine your new significant other’s traits in someone who you don’t find sexually attractive. Would you want to be that person’s friend, or would you dislike spending time with them? If the latter is true, then the only reason you’re really into Mister or Miss Opposite is that you find them physically attractive.

Aging happens, and they might not be so hot several years from now. You don’t want to stick with someone who you won’t enjoy talking to once their looks fade. If you do think that you’d still want to hang out with them, then your opposite traits and interests are working in your favor. People often wonder how a staunch Republican and a lifelong Democrat can fall in love, but it happens.

Whether they’re both impressed by their mutual passion for politics, or they both get a kick out of debating each other, there are certain kinds of people who can make their differences work for them. If you’re one of those people, you just might find that your perfect love match is your polar opposite.

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My hubby and I always wanted to have kids. We waited till we were financially “ready” and now that we’re “ready” I’ve decided I don’t want them anymore. How do I bring this up to him?

What She Said

Let me state the obvious – deciding whether or not to have children is one of the most colossal decisions you’ll ever make. Yep, that’s why they pay me the big bucks!

Wants And Needs Change Throughout Life

Let’s first examine why you’ve changed your mind. I want to applaud you for realizing this avenue may not be for you. Though we’re of a different generation, there’s still a lot of pressure for women in a marriage to have kids, whether it be from family or society. It takes courage to acknowledge that you may want to do something else.

Only you know why you’ve changed your mind – I can’t even begin to guess the myriad of reasons. Maybe your biological clock never turned on. Not every female is inherently mothering and that’s okay. Perhaps you want to travel or focus on your career, both of which are great options. I’m sure you’re getting pressure from your husband to give him an answer as to why you’ve changed your mind, so hopefully you’re clear in your reasons.

Recognizing Fear As A Factor

Let me speak on your husband’s behalf for a moment and ask you if fear is a factor. Rumor has it there never is quite the perfect time to have a baby. If you were putting off because you’re secretly afraid that it will change your relationship, but it’s something that you actually want to do, I’d encourage you to consider moving forward. Yes, it will change your life irrevocably – but if you and your husband are in a happy relationship and want to add a baby to the mix, embrace the change.

Once again, having children is a huge decision and an even bigger responsibility. Men have biological clocks as well and your husband’s may be going off. This is a tricky situation with no easy out. If having kids is something your husband really wants to experience, he deserves to have that. However, I wouldn’t advise having a baby just to make your husband happy. That’s not going to end well for anyone involved, most importantly the child!

Try To Compromise

Usually I can wrap these questions up in a tidier package. Today I say: keep talking and try to aim for some kind of compromise. Prepare yourself for the fact that you might have to let each other go if neither one of you can get what you want.

What He Said:

If you wait until you’re ready to have kids, you never will.

If you’re scared, you should be. It’s a big deal. It’s permanent and will change your relationship and your life. And it’s 24/7.So if you’re scared, it’s normal. And if that’s the case you may need to simply make peace with the fact that you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, but that it will be okay, no matter what.

You Reserve The Right To Change Your Mind

It’s also possible that you’ve changed. Maybe you really don’t want kids anymore, for whatever reason. That’s something your husband needs to know. There’s no easy way to say it, so just drop the bomb and then begin to move forward. You need to realize that this may be a deal breaker for him and your husband will want to argue his point – you did tell him when you got married that you wanted kids and, now you don’t.

Or, it may be a non issue. Your husband may not want them anymore either or accept that you don’t and still want to be with you regardless. There’s only one way to find out.

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Many factors can go into your decision— how long you’ve been together, your budget, how serious your relationship currently is and how serious you hope it will shortly become. On top of all that, you also want to make sure you get your partner something he or she will genuinely like.

Consider The Situation You’re Buying For

One of the most important things to consider when choosing a gift for your S.O. is whether or not it will be appropriate for the particular situation. The first factor to mull over is exactly what will work for the point you’re at in your relationship. If you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks and your boyfriend or girlfriend’s birthday is at hand, you want to get them a good gift, but nothing so over the top with romance that it catches them off guard.

A gift like pricey jewelry or a vacation is fine when you’ve been together for a few years, but could be misconstrued early on in a relationship. Plus, it’s also important to consider shopping within an appropriate budget. When there’s a holiday that involves an exchange of gifts, you don’t want to overspend and make your partner feel like they were cheap by comparison.

Of course, if you’ve been together for a few years and buy your partner something obviously inexpensive, that can be equally awkward. As a rule, if you think about how serious your relationship is, then seek out a gift that’s similarly serious, you’ll be fine.

Think Outside The Box

The quality of the gift is not always determined by the cost. It’s most important to show that you put actual thought into the gift you’re getting. If you know that your significant other likes flowers and jewelry, or other more typical gifts, then that’s fine. Yet you’ll be amazed at how much more your gift will be appreciated if you think a bit outside of the box. Instead of picking out a typical piece of jewelry from a chain store, choose something one-of-a-kind from a boutique or a site like Etsy.com.

If you’re buying any kind of clothing, jewelry, etc., also be sure to pay attention to what your S.O. already wears. If you buy them something that reflects their tastes instead of yours, they’ll be certain to love it and wear it often. You’ll also demonstrate that you’ve been paying attention to their taste, which proves that you’re thoughtful. Hard to find items, like out-of-print books or DVD’s, can also make impressive gifts, because you had to work a little to track them down.

Give Your Partner An Experience

Great dates can also be full of romance and make excellent gifts. While surprise vacations can be wonderful gifts for people in more serious relationships, there are smaller activity gifts that work well even after a few weeks of dating. Perhaps you know that your boyfriend loves a certain sports team, or your girlfriend has a favorite band that’s on tour.

Purchase a pair of tickets to an upcoming game or concert, plan a day around it, and give your partner the gift of some awesome memories. You’ll score even more points if you’re willing to take your partner out for something you’re not personally interested in. If you can make it through a few Tango classes despite your distaste for dancing, your Latin-dance-loving partner will appreciate it all the more.

Keeping Things Low Cost By Making A Gift

If you’re working on a small budget, you can always create a gift yourself. Handmade presents don’t have to be cheesy or seem cheap. If you have a talent, run with it—create a piece of art, bake a bunch of sweets to put in a goody basket, or curate a music mix that you know your S.O. will enjoy. Handmade touches can also add a personal element of romance to a purchased gift.

For instance, sticking concert tickets into a case with a mix CD you made shows extra initiative and creativity. Thoughtful packaging doesn’t have to be homemade, either. If your sweetheart has a funny bone, you can add some humor by hiding a more meaningful present in something silly, like sticking a piece of jewelry inside a goofy novelty mug.

Knowing Your Partner

Ultimately, if you’re observant and take note of your significant other’s tastes and personality, you can give a great gift. Put thought and time into what you choose, and your boyfriend or girlfriend will be able to tell the minute they open it. You’ll impress them and show them how much you love them, whether your budget is big or small, your relationship long term or new.

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Leave Flowers & A Note In Her Car

If she drives her own car, leaving a red rose on her windscreen with a hand note from you explaining that you know words are cheap and that you ask her to give you a chance to show her why the two of you are meant to be together. You need to leave a little hint of a proposed romantic rendezvous that gives enough information to show your sincerity but not too much so as to create an allure.

Leave Flowers Or A Gift On Her Doorstep

If she has moved out and is living with a friend/sister or parents, make sure that you do the same but leave it on her/their doorstep at a time you know she will definitely find it.

Don’t Give Her A Chance To Rethink

Ensure you have set the romantic date for the following evening (which you have planned well in advance) so that she does not have time to get 100 negative input ideas from over-protective friends and family.

Make Sure You Look Good!

Deck yourself out in the most attractive NEW clothes you can find, have a haircut, shave and use an aftershave she cannot resist.

Surprise Her With A New Place

Choose a restaurant that you two have never been to, that is extremely romantic, make sure you book the secluded corner table, even ask for a separate dining room/area if possible and arrive EARLY.

Treat Her Like A Queen

When she gets to the table (which she will if you have done what we tell you), then make sure you stand up as she approaches and treat her like a queen, pulling out her chair, and after you sit down, look at her, drink her in and hold her eyes with yours as you tell her how exceptionally beautiful she looks. Before she can scoff at her compliment (which she might view as a superficial compliment), rise from you chair, get down to eye level next her while she is seated in her chair and put your finger gently on her lips and ask her to just listen to what you have to say before she responds.

Explain Yourself – And Apologize

Staying where you are, you tell her how much she means to you, what a complete idiot you have been, how having her gone has left a hole greater than all the black holes in space, in your life. Tell her you are prepared to do anything and keep on doing anything for as long as it takes, even your entire lifetime, to prove this to her.

Kiss Her The Right Way

When you leave alone that night (a must in this case), ask her permission to kiss her and then kiss her with hedonistic ferocity that leaves her hungry for more, then gently pull back.

Be A Gentleman

Make sure she has a ride home, whether with you, a cabby or walk her to her car, like a gentleman.

Send A Follow Up Text

When you get home, text her telling her how much you enjoyed the evening, tell her how beautiful she looked and that you can’t wait to see her again.

Don’t Let Things Sit For Too Long

Follow up and confirm your next date and don’t leave it too long. There is a reason they call it the “art” of seduction. It involves creativity, patience and time.

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Whether you’re meeting your boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents for the first time, or going to your tenth holiday dinner at your in-laws’ place, interacting with your significant other’s family can be one of the most complex parts of your relationship. If you’re willing to be patient and make compromises, you’ll have an easier time with your new relatives-by-proxy.

Spending Time With In-Laws Can Be Stressful

There are two little words that can strike massive fear in the hearts of many men and women: in-laws. Spending time with your significant other’s family can be one of the most strange and stressful parts of your relationship. Unless your partner is a recent orphan, however, you’re not going to get out of family time. The best you can do is learn how to cope with them – while still being yourself and being confident.

If it’s the first time you’re meeting your significant other’s family members, there are a few ways to better prepare yourself. First of all, talk to your partner about his or her relatives – this is probably the best where your best relationship advice comes from because a little research about who these people really are can go a long way. You shouldn’t put up a front, but it is good to adjust yourself slightly to their expectations.

If they’re not big drinkers, don’t show up with a bottle of wine. If they traditionally dress up for dinner, trade in your jeans for a dress or slacks. Think of it like visiting a foreign country; you don’t want to look like a tourist, so you take a few tiny steps to fit in with the locals. This will also endear you to your mate, because he or she will be flattered that you care about impressing the parents.

Will You Fit In With Their Family?

What if, once you’ve met them, you find you don’t fit in at all? If you’re married, engaged, or moving in together, you won’t be able to avoid the in-laws forever. That means you need to strategize appropriately. Try to plan family gatherings that have set end times, so your visits won’t be painfully long. Look for the one or two things you do have in common and focus on them.

If you and your in-laws both love old movies, host a classic movie night at your place. They’ll feel welcomed and loved, and you won’t have to talk to them much during the movie. Have excuses at the ready to cut awkward drop-in visits short or omit awkward silences without being impolite. For instance, if your mother-in-law drops by on a Sunday afternoon and just won’t leave, tell her you hate to end your visit, but you have to run errands before dinner time.

Then plan for one of those aforementioned movie nights so she knows you’re not adverse to spending time with her. When it comes to the holidays, make sure that you and your partner set ground rules early on in your relationship. Every three years is a good rule—one year with your family, the next with your significant other’s family, and the third year to yourselves. That makes both sets of in-laws feel like they’re being treated fairly.

What To Do If It Gets Awkward

Of course, sometimes relations with your partner’s family go beyond awkward unpleasantness and become strained. Maybe you hate being around your spouse’s parents because they have strong political beliefs that oppose yours, or maybe the situation is worse.

If Aunt Jean is a bigot and insults you to your face because you’re not the same race as she is, then you don’t have to put up with that. You can and should cross her off the family game night invite list. If you find that you’re the lone Democrat in a sea of diehard Republicans, avoid the topic of politics like the plague. If it still gets brought up, you can either sit back and quietly observe or suggest a subject change.

In the end, in-laws are a fact of life in long term relationships. You don’t have to enjoy every moment of it, but you can improve upon your time with them. Above all, remember that these folks are your significant other’s family. Like them or not, your mate loves them. You owe it to her or him to make lemonade from these familial lemons. Besides, don’t forget—he or she has to deal with your family, too!

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When you are faced with problems in your relationship, it would be easy to walk away and let it fail, while it is harder to stay and work it through. When you are faced with these issues, to keep it in perspective, think of the way you felt when you first met and the reason you fell in love. Remember the good and the bad times you shared, and what makes it worth it.

You know that it takes two to tango, and this applies to your relationship as well. An effort from only one party is not going to prove to be successful.

Realize Why Relationships Fail

Many relationships fail for a number of reasons here are a few of the common ones:

• High expectations generally happen when entering a relationship viewing everything through rose-colored glasses/spectacles. When these expectations are not met disappointment and frustration soon follow.
• Financial issues are not taboo between couples. A household budget should be discussed early so you know what is expected of you. It is important to speak up about money issues when they first arise, and not scream about it when you both are angry.
• Manage your stress. Recognize what stresses you both out and do whatever you can to not fall prey. Too much stress can hamper one’s ability to think and respond properly.
• Compromise and do things as a couple. Go to a football match with him and take her shopping, or go on holiday together. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell your significant other what you want and need. No offence to you guys, but you don’t take hints well, so learn to LISTEN, not just hear! Part of listening also involves not get defensive when she speaks to you, be genuine, compassionate, understanding and sincere.
• Spice up your relationship and go out and have a night on the town together. Bring home flowers and chocolates for no particular reason. Apologize if you have done something to upset her, and surprise her with something that she’s been wanting but do it for “no reason whatsoever” not because it’s her birthday or Valentine’s day.

It Takes Two To Make A Relationship Work

Both of you have to be committed to make this relationship work. Don’t scream, argue and curse, rather sit down, call a meeting and be reasonable and logical about it. Try not to get too emotional, speak calmly when you say what you have to say.

There are an abundance of tips that can stop your breakup, but like with all advice, it may not work in all situations. An understanding of your partner and what your relationship requires can provide you with what you need.

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I’m getting married to the most amazing man I’ve ever met. He’s perfect. We’ve never even had a fight…until…I told him I was keeping my “maiden” name. I’ve worked hard in my profession to build the brand name and I don’t want to change it. My fiancée is super insulted. He says I’ve I don’t say I do to his last name, we aren’t getting married. How can we fix this?

What She Said:

It sounds like a heated situation for such a happy occasion, complicated by the fact that you’re both “in the right.” He sounds like a traditional sort of guy who’s probably been operating off the assumption that you would naturally take his name after marriage.

Take A Look At His Perspective

Take a moment in his shoes to acknowledge that he’s probably in shock. In fact, he may even be taking your insistence on having your maiden name as some form of rejection towards him. He might also have concerns about naming your kids, if you’re both thinking of having children. (Though different last names in one household is a common occurrence these days.)

Reassure him that your love is as strong as ever, no matter what you are called. You two definitely need to find a way to step away from this ledge, otherwise known as the ultimatum he just gave you.

Your Right To Have Your Name

Now let’s take a look at you. You have every right to have your name – it’s definitely a different day and age; the taking of the husband’s name isn’t necessarily the norm it used to be. Building a name in your profession is a huge deal – and one that’s hopefully supported by your future husband. Honoring that accomplishment is every bit as important as your relationship. It’s a part of you, and that means it stays.

Getting Creative To Reach A Compromise

But how does it stay? It’s time to get creative. Perhaps you use your maiden name professionally, but take your husband’s name for your private life. Actors often prefer this option. Jennifer Aniston was Aniston on the screen and Pitt in “real” life – until Brad strolled off with a certain someone. Maybe not the greatest example, but you get my drift!

I’m not sure of the legalities, but it seems worth looking into. Flip that coin and take a look at Jack White (of The White Stripes). He took his first wife’s name – and kept it. He liked it so much that his second wife and their kids all use it too. Now that’s progressive! Of course, there is the lovely option of hyphenating. That can be a great compromise and a way for you to both get what you want.

I hope you can reach an agreement without losing sight of the most important thing – your love and your wonderful future together.

What He Said:

This is a big slap in the face to a lot of guys. I’m guessing you guys never talked about this prior to the argument, which is where a lot of the disagreement comes from. I know it’s not spontaneous to discuss marriage parameters before popping the question, but it’s better in the long run.

Next Time, Talk First

If you’d have had this discussion with him before hand, you wouldn’t be having this problem in the relationship now. If it’s that big of an issue for him, he could’ve made an informed choice. I still think this will blow over. He’s blown way too much $$ on you to back out now.

Do you know what those rings cost? Kidding. Sort of. It will probably blow over, with a little time & TLC. It would be hard to imagine that he loves you enough to spend the rest of his life with you but not enough to get past this. If you have any other bombs to drop before you get married, you probably want to discuss it with him first.

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What She Said

Parade nude (or while wearing lingerie) in front of the television, crook your finger and say, “Follow me to the bedroom!” That should do the trick. At least for one night.

Finding A Way To Work With Him

So what to do the other 364 evenings of the year? It sounds like a compromise is in the works. Your guy obviously loves being a gamer. You don’t want to take away something he enjoys, so you’ve got to find a way to make his “obsession” work for both of you. Please keep in mind that you’re not his mom – acting like a nag and trying to tell him what to do (or not do) definitely falls into the decidedly “not sexy” category.

What is “way too much time” in your book? Is his ducking out on keeping commitments? Is he missing work? Is he blowing off plans to continue playing his games? Such an extreme case could benefit from some kind of intervention. Hopefully his “way too much” isn’t as far gone as all this.

Communicating With Him

I don’t think “stopping” is in order. Would you want to quit something cold turkey that you enjoy? Probably not! Of course he cares about you and would surely go to great lengths to make you happy. As always, the key to solving this problem is communication.

Let him know that his constant playing is bumming you out. Work with him on setting parameters around when he can game. Let him know you don’t expect (nor will you be demanding) that he give up gaming entirely. Be reasonable. When he sees that you’re respecting his interests, he’ll most likely be willing to strike a truce. Trades can be nice too – say, for example, that every hour he spends with the video game equals a date night for the two of you. You get the drift and I’m confident you two will work it out.

What He Said:

He probably won’t stop playing them and you probably don’t want him to either. I mean, you’ve got to get tired of him at some point, right? Trust me, being able to sit him in front of the TV for hours on end while you get some peace and quiet probably will save your relationship at some point.

Talking To Him About His Gaming

Communication really is the best relationship advice. Tell him this is bothering you, but don’t stop there. If you tell a man not to do something and you don’t tell him what he should be doing instead and why he should be doing that new behavior, he will stare at you blankly. So tell him what he’s doing wrong and what you’d like him to do instead and his incentive for doing it (as in more sex).

You May Have To Move On

You shouldn’t nag him, but then you shouldn’t have to nag him at all. He should have the wherewithal to meet you somewhere in the middle on this. You guys are a team and this should be like a friendly negotiation, not some hardnosed “take it or leave it” type scenario. Give a little, to get a little. (That’s what she said!)

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What She Said

First off, I’m sorry to hear of your current situation. No one deserves to be treated like that. Secondly, why do you feel trapped? As far as we know, this is the one life we get. Do you really want to spend it with someone who’s abusing you?

I’m not trying to be flip. This is a serious situation. Admittedly, this is not my exact area of expertise. There are facilities that help women in domestic abuse situations, but I’m not sure if that extends to emotional abuse. Check resources in your community. Help might be closer than you think.

I know you say that you feel stuck. If you have children, or you’re financially dependent on your husband, it will take some planning to extricate yourself from the home. If you don’t have kids and you have some expendable income, you might want to examine what is tying you to the situation. Seeing a qualified counselor or therapist may help you gain the clarity to remove yourself from an unhappy home.

The Truth About Love And Marriage

Love and marriage are complicated. No one knows what goes into a couple’s dynamic. If you feel your connection with your husband has turned sour and no amount of help will bring the light back, consider letting go of the past. Take heart in your family and friends, or whatever support system brings you peace. Know that there is still much joy to be found. I’m not saying it won’t be scary or difficult – but no more difficult than staying with someone who doesn’t respect you.

What He Said

You’re not trapped. You do not live in a house without doors, or in a prison cell. If you want to get out, get the hell out and don’t look back period. Go off the grid. Just having a penis is practically a criminal offense these days so getting a restraining order should be no problem. If there’s no kids, just file for divorce and disappear. Yeah, it might be messy, but do what needs to be done and don’t look back.

Leave If You Want To Leave

If you want to leave, and there’s a good reason and it sounds like there is, then leave. Sure, you could try counseling or fixing the relationship in some way, but it sounds like it’s messed up beyond repair. So if that’s the case, what are you waiting for? Ripping off a band aid is never pleasant. You either rip it off fast and get the pain over with or you rip it of slowly and you make it worse.

This is going to hurt. It’s a big deal. There’s really no way around that. The best relationship advice is the sooner you can come to terms with that and rip the band aid off the sooner you’ll be on your way to your new life. You’ll have an adjustment period to be sure, but that’s another issue. Just rip the band aid off and get it over with already.

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It’s important to make sure that you make an effort express your love and affection for your significant other on a regular basis. Keeping the passion of your early relationship going doesn’t require a big production, either. There are easy everyday gestures that you can make that will let your partner know just exactly how much you love them.

Love Is A Basic Human Need

As human beings, we all need to feel loved and cared for. The mere act of doing someone a favor without their having to ask can show just how much you feel for them. There are all sorts of simple favors you can perform on any given day. If your S.O. typically takes their lunch to work, wake up ten minutes early and make it for them every once and awhile.

Volunteer to take over their half of the chores when you know they’ve had a particularly bad week. If you don’t live together, offer to come over and make them dinner or clean their place, instead. These small gestures are thoughtful and truly helpful, and your girlfriend or boyfriend will find them incredibly sweet.

Little Things Make It Romantic

Doing things without any major motive is also a way to bring romance into your relationship. Bringing over flowers just for the heck of it, or serving up breakfast in bed on a Saturday morning, are two classic examples. There are other great random acts, too. There are lots of opportunities to surprise your partner with inexpensive but thoughtful little gifts.

While you’re out grocery shopping, pick up your mate’s favorite candy bar or snack. Bring over a bottle of champagne or sparkling wine to add an extra air of romance to a typical evening in. Did your S.O. recently mention in passing how much they loved eating chocolate chip cookies as a kid? Surprise them with a homemade batch courtesy of yours truly.

Don’t Forget Physical Intimacy

Of course, love also has its physical side. Making sure to kiss and hug everyday is very meaningful. Even if it’s just a quick peck goodbye in the morning, it helps to keep you physically connected. If you see your S.O. sitting around looking stressed out, walk over and give them a five minute shoulder rub and a kiss on the cheek. When you’re watching TV or a movie, sit side by side and hold hands or cuddle. If you feel like sneaking a kiss or two during the commercial break, and that leads to more, then more power to you. The important thing is to keep up regular physical contact. You’ll both be happier for it.

Saying, “I Love You”

There is another simple way to remind your partner of how much you love them. Just tell them. Say it every night before bed or every morning before you leave for work. Say it right before you hang up on the phone or type it at the end of your text. The phrase “I love you” can be reassuring, romantic—even sexy. No matter when or how you say it, make sure that you do. It’s important to put that little daily reminder across to your S.O., so they’ll always know how you feel about them. Combine these words with the other aforementioned thoughtful gestures, and everyday will have an air of romance about it.

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Engagement is a big moment in not only your relationship, but also your life, so you want it to be as perfect as possible. A proposal should be personal and memorable. Most importantly, it should also be successful. All your work will be for naught if you don’t hear a “yes” at the end of it. Making it truly thoughtful and special will go a long way toward getting you that positive outcome.

Consider Your Mate’s Personality

Once you’ve decided to pop the question, the first thing to consider is your S.O.’s personality. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is a private person, asking them to marry you at halftime during a football game probably isn’t the way to go. If they’re a huge sports fan and love big, public displays of affection, then that’s probably a good idea.

Is your partner a sucker for traditional romance? Then a candlelight fancy dinner might do the trick. If they’re outdoorsy, you might want to try a trip to the botanical gardens or a hike. The quirky S.O. might appreciate finding their ring at the end of a treasure hunt with clues you’ve put together yourself. Just make sure that you tailor the location and mood of your proposal to your love’s tastes. They’ll appreciate it on so many levels.

Referencing Your Dating History In Your Proposal

If you really want to win him or her over, try referencing past moments in your dating history. Take them to the first restaurant you ate at, or the park you walk through every Saturday afternoon together.  If you met through work or in school, try asking in front of your office building or at your mutual favorite spot on campus.

You can even address the moment you knew your S.O. was the one for you. Maybe you had a moment at a museum while looking at a painting together when you realized he or she was the one. Go back and propose in front of that piece of art. Perhaps you both bonded over a mutual love for animals, so you should pop the question at the zoo or when you’re taking your dogs to the dog park together. Proposing at a special location that is part of your story together can make the moment feel extra inspired.

Think About What You Will Say

You should also prepare what you’re going to say before your engagement, of course. Be honest and open with your emotions. Tell an anecdote about the first time you met or the moment you knew you wanted to be together forever. Talk about how much you love your S.O. and paint a well-worded picture of how you see your future together turning out. Enumerate the qualities your boyfriend or girlfriend has that make them the perfect fit for you.

Then explain why you know you’re their soulmate. Be confident, but don’t feel bad if you get nervous or stray from what you planned to say. Nerves and excitement can be somewhat endearing. It’s an emotional moment, and it’s fine to tear up or stumble over a word or two. Let your true feelings shine through, and your mate will be moved by them. Combine that with a well-planned proposal that’s tailored to your significant other’s unique tastes, and you’ll be planning your wedding together in no time.

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The most important thing you can do prior to getting married is make sure you and your significant other are on the same page. Within the first week of getting engaged, you need to cover all of the possible deal breakers, so you don’t find out about anything bad after you’ve already said “I do.”

She Said Yes – Now What?

So the question has been popped and answered in the affirmative—now what? If you’ve already discussed all of your plans for the future with your S.O., congratulations! You’re ready to start planning the ceremony. If not, it’s time to have a very serious discussion together. You two need to cover all of the possible deal breakers and make sure you’re either on the same page, or one of you is willing to bend for the other’s sake.

Talking About Children

First up is one of the biggest topics, children. Do you both want to get pregnant? If one of you does and one of you doesn’t, that can be a major deal breaker. Don’t convince yourself that you can go without the little rug rats you’ve been hoping for just because your soon-to-be spouse doesn’t want them. Definitely do not convince yourself that he or she will likely change their mind.

Give this topic very serious consideration, because if you want them and he/she doesn’t, it can definitely lead to divorce farther down the line. If you both want children, you probably need to set basic expectations about it now. If one of you wants them right away and the other wants to wait, be sure that you’re willing to meet in the middle before you move forward with your marriage. As for how many you want, it’s probably best to wait until you’ve actually had one child before you start deciding on numbers. In this area, as in all of the other major issues, it’s necessary to establish where you are willing to compromise and where you are not.

Talking About Religion

After the issue of offspring has been covered, it’s time to talk religion. If you both practice the same faith or are not particularly religious people, there won’t be much to discuss here. If you’re both the same faith, two Methodists for instance, but go to different churches, you should discuss whose church you’ll join.

Other than that you’re golden. If you’re not of the same faith, or one of you is more religious than the other, you’ll definitely need to examine this subject more. Does one of you expect the other to convert? If you have children, which faith will you expect them to practice? Clarify these issues now, and no major problems will arise further down the line. Besides, if you’re intending to have a religious ceremony, you’ll need to have this discussion so you can pick a venue, etc.

Talking About Finances

You will also need to discuss your living arrangements and financial situation. Does either of you already own a home, or are you both renting? In either situation, will one of you move into the other’s place, or are you going to find a new place to share? If you are going to find a new place together, you need to decide whether you want to buy a home or rent something. Then you should compare your expectations.

If one of you would prefer to go on renting an apartment and the other expects to be a home owner within two years, the sooner you can reach a compromise, the better. Discussing your finances will go hand in hand with deciding where to live. Now is the time to talk about whether or not you’ll combine bank accounts, if either of you has any debt, and more. Unromantic as it may seem, financial worries can cause marriages to crumble. You don’t want to find out six months after you got married that your new spouse is $20K in debt and expects you to put your salary toward that. Talk about fighting and a possible divorce waiting to happen!

Smaller Issues To Deal With

There are other smaller issues that can wait until after the honeymoon, like how you’ll be splitting household chores and deciding which person’s family to visit on each holiday. What’s most important is that you clear the air on the major parts of your future—children, religion, finances and living arrangements. If you can have an honest discussion on these topics and plan to tackle any problems together, you’ll start your marriage on a much happier note.

Getting these things out of the way prior to the wedding not only leaves you with less to worry over, but it also makes sure you don’t walk into marriage with incorrect expectations. If you’re not comfortable talking any of these topics over now, you may need to question if you’re really ready to be married or not. However, if you can start your engagement with this sort of openness, you’re setting a great precedent for the rest of your lives together.

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So how can you get over your heart break and your lingering feelings? You owe it to yourself to move forward. It’s important, not least of all because you might miss out on the person you should really be with while you’re mooning over the wrong guy or girl.

People You Can’t Pursue A Relationship With

It can be pretty difficult to see the forest for the trees when you’re head over hills for someone. When that individual doesn’t love you back, however, you need to have a reality check with yourself. Sometimes there are obvious reasons why you shouldn’t pursue a relationship with someone. No matter how attracted you are to them, if the object of your affection is married or in a happy relationship, you need to back down and look elsewhere.

If the person is your boss, your direct report, your current teacher or student, it’s inappropriate to pursue them until you no longer work together directly. When there are overt roadblocks like these, it can be easier to convince yourself to move on. But sometimes the only reason to move forward is because your crush just wants to be friends. Worse, maybe they don’t want anything to do with you at all. In either case, it’s in your best interest to spend a decent amount of time away from this person while focusing on your own happiness.

How To Deal With Rejection

You need to harness optimism in this situation, but it needs to be the healthy and not harmful kind. Move away from wishful thinking regarding the guy or girl who rejected you. There’s no point daydreaming that your married flame will suddenly leave their spouse for you, or that they’ll wake up one morning and realize they actually are in love with you.

Harness that source of hope inside yourself and direct it toward better things. Don’t sit at home and sulk night after night. Instead, enlist the help of your friends to make sure you get out of the house and have some fun. Don’t waste your time looking forward to an impossible relationship. Look forward to your fun weekend plans, to your morning run, or to completing that big project at work. Relegate thinking about love to the background for now, and you’ll find you’re able to take a step or two forward.

Moving On

The most important reason to move on is that there truly are other fish in the sea to date. If you’re busy fixating on one person, you’re missing all the other people out there who could easily be a better fit for you. If you’re out in the world enjoying yourself, you just might bump into Mr. or Ms. Right, and then you won’t give a flip about Mr. or Ms. Rejection anymore. So don’t close yourself off to the world, and don’t cling to false hope.

Instead, embrace the knowledge that there could be someone else out there a thousand times more perfect for you. Go out and live your life to the fullest, and you just might find them when you least expect it. There is no point in puppy dogging around after a lost cause. If they don’t see the value in being with you, they’re not worth it anyway.

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What She Said

How do you make sure your man stays blissed out in this relationship?

• An active sex life – lots of it and make it hot!
• Get him a membership to a Beer of the Month Club – it worked for me!
• Be a good friend – be sure to have fun together in activities you both enjoy.
• Give him some freedom – enjoy the trust and don’t cling.
• Offer to skip Valentine’s Day – you’ll be a trendsetting heroine.

The best way to “make” someone else happy is by being confident and joyous in your own life. That shines through to everyone you meet and will also be very appealing to your mate. The bonus? Both your quality of life and your relationship will improve. A happy, confident woman doesn’t rely on someone else to take care of her – and that instantly relieves a lot of stress from a guy’s shoulders.

What Not To Do

Most men I know don’t like crying fits, pouting or being made to feel guilty. I’ve also heard a rumor that they’re not too hip on Valentine’s Day either. This doesn’t mean you can never be sad, be in a bad mood or will be forced to forgo flowers and chocolate. It means for every kind thing he does for you, from comforting you when you’re down to taking you out to dinner, is also deserving of a reciprocal action. It’s not a game of tit-for-tat – it’s a way to keep up a mutual appreciation and admiration within your duo.

Long-term relationships equal work and compromise – but that doesn’t mean it has to be a drag. Skip the drama, be honest and have fun. Treat him like your best friend – because hopefully that’s exactly what he is!

What He Said

• Be his own personal slut
• Regularly send him to the strip club (with a stack of $1 dollar bills!)
• Make him feel like a king
• Save the crazy for your girlfriends
• Be as fun to be around with your clothes on as you are when your clothes are off

I’m going to get a lot of flack for #1, but let me explain. This is one of those differences between men and women. When a woman hears another woman called a slut or whore, it’s an insult. When a guy hears a girl called a slut or whore it’s a compliment. He doesn’t want you to go out and bang the Pittsburgh Steelers, though. Men aren’t looking for a girl that is “a” whore, they are looking for a girl that is “their” whore. Big difference. If you have moves that make porn stars blush, your man won’t be watching any and he certainly won’t be looking elsewhere.

Making Him Feel Awesome

Sending him to the strip club may seem like it’s a good thing only for him, but really you’re the one that benefits. You look like the coolest chick on the planet (to your man and all his friends) and you have some other girl get him all hot and bothered. All you have to do is wait for him to come home and enjoy.

Making him feel like a king is huge, especially these days. Many hen pecking, man hating feminists have taken great pleasure in cutting the collective balls off of men everywhere. Every man wants to feel like the king of his castle. Make him feel that way. You’ll be glad you did.

Try Not To Be Crazy – Around Him At Least

Save the crazy for your girlfriends (and gay men). Men don’t want to know how neurotic women are. We kind of know already, but don’t remind us. It will send your man running faster than you can say Trophy Wife. Vent to your girlfriends and to your gays (if you don’t have any gays in your life, I really have to question why) and not to your man. You’ll both be glad you did.

The Key To It All

Men love sex, this is true. We also love low maintenance (whoever said men love a ‘challenge,’ ‘the chase’ or ‘the thrill of the hunt’ is out of their damn mind), so be easy about it. Don’t put any pressure or drama (at least any that can be avoided). Just be a super awesome chick that he always wants to hang out with (even when you’re not boning each other) and you will be worth your weight in gold in his eyes (not that you’re fat. You’re totally skinny).

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Handle Arguments Differently

Every marriage and relationship has arguments, but it’s how you handle them that’s most important. At Junior High School, I said ‘no’ to drugs. At my wedding altar, I said ‘no’ to fighting. Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” anti-drug campaign was a huge success. Kids made a verbal commitment and a mental stance to avoid drugs before they were even of the age to be tempted. When they were introduced to drugs, they knew they could “just say no” and not feel alone.

Fighting is NOT harmless. It’s addictive and, if continued, is likely to cause irreparable damage. Certainly there are times when emotions get wrinkled, and the natural inclination is to blow your top. I sometimes have to bite my tongue so I don’t say something I would regret later (since when is self-control a bad thing?)

Having a naturally calm personality has admittedly made it easier for me to think before I speak than it is for some people. But that shouldn’t stop anyone from trying.

Turn Gossip And Bashing Into Praise

No one’s perfect. When the guys get together and the conversation turns to complaining about “what their wives do,” or wife bashing in general, refuse to participate. It shows that you respect and value your wife. Instead, when a “gripe session” gets going, make it a point to start sharing some of her good qualities.

Usually, this alone will steer the conversation into a positive direction and help your friends to also praise their wives — which in turn helps them to respect and appreciate them more too. Knowing that my wife refuses to belittle me in front of friends makes me love and respect her even more.

Change Up Your Routine

After a few months or years, most couples get into a comfortable pattern where they always do the same things. Same dinner / movie dates, same sexual routine and same behaviors. You can rekindle some of that magic and keep your marriage exciting by simply paying attention to these three important areas:

• Go on creative dates. Agree to go out and do something you’ve never done before once every week, fortnight or month. It doesn’t really matter what you do, but it’s important to commit and do this constantly. Want some ideas? Go to a winery, museum, art gallery, carnival, the beach, or have a picnic in a park.
• Spice things up under the sheets. Try new sex positions, techniques or locations. Wear some nice lingerie or introduce some new sex toys into the bedroom.
• Change up the norm. Buy her a gift just to say “I love you,” give her a nice massage, set up a scavenger hunt that shows how much you care about her with a gift at the end

Face Your Money Problems And Debts

One of the biggest problems facing couples today is the huge amount of debt they bring into their marriage. Not only are there more divorces, couples are filing for divorce much earlier in their marriage than ever before. Here are some ideas to get your debt and money issues under control.

• Sit down and prioritize all aspects of your family budget together. Only when you analyze your spending habits will you fully realize where you are wasting money. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your goals and dreams.
• Realize that frivolously spending money can be a sign of disrespect for your marriage and mate.
• If you would like a bigger diamond ring or a fancier car, ask yourself why.
• Take a quick inventory of all the items you own but could really live without. Consider how much you paid for them. What if you didn’t buy those items and had all that money in savings instead? Would it make a difference in how you view your job, your family and your future?

No one said mending a marriage would be easy. It takes time, effort and persistence – but in the end, you can really make it work if you put your mind to it.

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We’re all human beings whose emotions get the better of us on occasion, so it can be hard not to be hurtful at times. However, there are ways to participate in a fight with your mate and not cause long term harm to your relationship.

Thinking Things Through

First and foremost, know when to take a deep breath. In the heat of the moment it can be very easy to blunder ahead, saying lots of things you will later regret. If you can learn how to pause and think before speaking, you’re already a lot closer to saving face in a sour situation. Say you and your S.O. are fighting, and you’re about to accuse him or her of some sort of long term fault. Before you speak, take a breather and think about how to word things. This is quite possibly the best relationship advice there is – waiting until you’ve thought something through before you speak up.

Instead of saying “you always forget something when you go to the store,” shift the wording so it is less accusatory. Make it about how your feelings are hurt, not how your partner is a screw up. For example, try saying “When you forget to bring something back that I’ve asked for, I feel like I’m not being listened to, and that hurts my feelings.” Allow your partner to explain themselves fully without interrupting to interject your opinions.

The Art Of Compromise

Once they’ve said their piece, tell them you understand their viewpoint and suggest a compromise. In the case of our forgetful friend, suggesting that you make a list together before he/she runs errands would be a good solution. Also, be sure to praise any good things the offender did do, i.e. “Even though I’m upset that you forgot item X, I do appreciate the fact that you went to the store for me. I know you’re trying to help.” By recognizing the positive, you not only make the other person feel better, but you also remind yourself that they have lots of traits worth loving. That can take the edge off your own anger as well as theirs.

Focus On The Issue At Hand

Another key thing to avoid when arguing is dredging up lots of other problems. If you’re having a small argument like the one referenced above, that’s not the appropriate time to bring up larger issues. Saying “You always forget something when you go to the store, not unlike how you forgot my birthday two years in a row,” will only escalate your fight. Stick to the topic at hand, then address related problems at a later time when you’ve both calmed down.

Don’t Be Afraid To Take Time To Cool Off

Speaking of having time to cool off, never underestimate the power of calling a time out on your argument. Sometimes the only way to keep from having a total melt down is to honestly admit that you need some time to be by yourself and think before you keep talking. There’s no shame in telling your significant other that you need to take a break so you don’t say something you’ll both regret later.

If you follow this relationship advice the next time you and your boyfriend or girlfriend get into an argument, there could be a lot less drama as a result. It’s important that you always remember that arguments are bound to happen every once and awhile, but they’re not the end of the world and they most certainly don’t mean an inevitable break-up. If you and your significant other take a little effort to fight right, everything will work out in the long run.

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What She Said

I say relax and enjoy your dreams! Sounds like you’re in the throes of some healthy creative visualization. Let your head hit the pillow, close your eyes and enjoy the ride. (Pun intended.)

Fantasies Are Normal

There is no harm in fantasizing, even if you’re happy with your hubby. Getting turned on by something in your imagination doesn’t mean there’s anything awry with your attraction level towards your partner. I’m sure your husband is equally as happy with you; however that doesn’t mean he won’t sneak a peek at a hot woman with a great rack. Men are generally more in tune with visual cues for sex while woman tend to be in synch with their emotions. It sounds like your sex dreams might be a nice blend of both. You’re allowed to daydream about whoever you want, be it Brad Pitt or the cute checker at the supermarket.

Transferring Your Fantasies To Your Husband

I say you’re in safe territory, as long as you keep your dreams relegated to bedtime and don’t start any real life extramarital affairs. In fact, have fun with these cues your brain is sending you. Enjoy the fantasies and then act out what you experienced in dreamland the night before in real time with your husband. Odds are he won’t mind the experiment one bit!

What He Said

Wait, you’re banging the person you’re going to be banging for all eternity, and you’re fantasizing about banging other people? Wow. I’d better alert the media. In other news, water is wet!

Is Monogamy Natural?

Here’s the deal: a committed monogamous relationship can be the most rewarding experience you’ll ever have. It’s also 100% unnatural. We’re literally not designed to be monogamous. That doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Just that it’s not natural. You can get upset about that or you can simply deal with it and move on.

This means you’re not only going to get turned on by other people, but you both NEED to get turned on by other people in order for your relationship to survive.

It’s Normal To Get Sick Of Your Partner Sexually

I don’t care how much you love chocolate ice cream, if you eat it three times a day you’re getting sick of it at some point. So you might need to flirt with some vanilla, or show someone your rocky road. Everyone needs a little Neapolitan every once in a while, I don’t care who you are.

Sure, you could feel bad about it, but what good would that do? I personally prescribe regular doses of strip clubs (for him and for her – they have those. That’s what Vegas is for), erotica and whatever else it takes to get your engines going. Other people are probably going to be the fuel that runs your collective car, at least occasionally. Just enjoy it and don’t be so Republican about it.

Then again, some of the biggest freaks on the planet are Republican, so maybe you should be Republican about it. Just don’t be a repressed Republican.

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There are countless things we can do to show that we love someone – truly the list is endless. But what distinguishes love from empty actions is where the action comes from.

For instance, how are you showing love if you avoid saying something to your partner about something that’s bothering you about them, hoping to come across as noble or uncomplaining, if in the end it only ends up causing resentment and frustration on your part, which you will take out on them?

Take The Time To Learn About Your Partner

This may seem obvious, but you you really know a lot about their likes and dislikes, their pet peeves, their guilty pleasures? Knowing these things may not affect your behavior toward them, but it will show that you are investing your attention in them, and that’s a sure-fire sign that you care. Ask your partner questions to learn more about who they are. People like like to know that their partner pays attention to them.

Make Sure Their Happiness Factors Into Your Decision Making Process

Check in with them about how they’re feeling, what they think about things, and where they’re going in life. Embrace this vision they have about themselves as an integral part of you.

Pay Attention To Your Partner

People do make their desires known in one way or another; all we have to do is find the right way to listen. If your partner is using direct words to communicate desires, fantastic, but be aware that there are other clues, both verbal and otherwise, as to what someone wants. You don’t have to be a mind reader, you just have to open your eyes and ears.

React Accordingly To Your Partner’s Desires

If you keep noticing that your partner drools over TV commercials for a particular restaurant, surprise them by taking them to dinner there. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures – my husband, for instance, knows I love to sleep in, so he makes my tea for me in the morning, exactly the way I like it, and that way I don’t have to get up five minutes earlier and do it myself. He loves to meditate but doesn’t always have the time; sometimes I will shift our schedule down half an hour so he can have some time to himself.

Make An Effort To Do New Things Together

Stretch beyond what you already know about each other and about yourselves. Go places you’ve never been before, get in the car and just drive, find a new restaurant, explore a new part of town, or find new activities to try.  Try new sex positions together or new ways of pleasuring each other. Develop a keen interest in learning new things as a couple. It will not only strengthen your bond, going on adventures means you’ll have a lot of great stories to tell at parties! You’ll be that couple who is always doing fun things together.

These are just some starter suggestions – feel free to get creative and expand on them! Bringing happiness and joy to each other is one of the great things about relationships. But of course, what matters the most is where these gestures originate.

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What She Said

Do you want him to be jealous? It sounds like you’re playing the flirt as a form of control and not as something that’s genuinely a part of your personality. If you were truly the flirty type, you would most likely do it in a fun and light way – a way that convinces your boyfriend there’s nothing to worry about instead of searching for a reaction from him.

Does He Have To Be Jealous?

It sounds like you’ve got a great guy – one who’s interested in letting you be yourself, as well as someone who is invested in keeping your relationship drama-free. It is possible for you to both chat (and even lightly flirt) with members of the opposite sex without either one of you getting jealous. While jealousy is a normal emotion, it’s not necessarily the healthiest option. It usually stems from fear. So, if your current BF doesn’t fear losing you, he’s not going to get jealous. Why would he?

Is What You’re Doing Really Healthy?

Perhaps you need to look away from his (lack of) motivation and take a closer look at yourself. Did you get a kick out of making men in your life “go nuts” by being a flirt? It sure sounds like it! But why were you so into yanking their proverbial chains emotionally? Would you like it if someone went out of his way to get cozy with another gal, all to make sure you were paying attention? It’s not a nice feeling – and it’s not a nice thing to try to make someone else feel. It sounds like you’ve been operating out of insecurity in past relationships.

It’s Time To Grow Up

Making those men go wild was a way of getting affirmation from them – but it was forced from your wily ways and not a genuine declaration. It sounds like it’s time to drop your guard. Flirting may have been a defense mechanism in the past – it kept you in control and your partners on their toes.

However, this new relationship isn’t adhering to your old tricks – and that’s not a bad thing. It sounds like you’ve found someone who can help you grow. I’m not saying you have to dump flirting from your repertoire, just make sure it’s for the right reasons. In the meantime, take a moment to appreciate your current boyfriend and take a break from all the game playing.

What He Said

If your man doesn’t have a problem with the fact that you’re an attention whore, should you really be complaining?

Kidding. Sort of. Not really, now that I think of it. You clearly get off on this pattern for whatever reason. Maybe you have intimacy issues, and this is your way of pushing guys away who get too close to you. Maybe you really, really need the attention, and in that case….well, you need Jesus. Or Oprah. Or Dr. Drew if they’re all busy.

Are You Sabotaging Your Own Relationships?

Somehow you landed yourself a man who won’t let you sabotage things. I didn’t hear you complain about the quality of the relationship, so I’ll take a stab and say the relationship is great and that’s what freaks you out. You’re not used to it. Good problem to have I think. Learn to enjoy it or go back to the same craptastic dating pattern you were in before.

Your choice.

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You’re not alone. After dating someone for a long time, it’s easy to slip into a stable and comfortable routine. While this can be comforting, when it happens you often lose the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place. Does this mean you can’t ever get those special feelings back? Of course not. Here are five simple, fun and creative ways to reignite that magic.

Give Your Partner A Unique Gift

Name a star after your partner. A number of astronomical agencies allow individuals to name stars and you receive formal documentation identifying the star that you have named.

Or how about this: Give your partner a magic gift box, and every month place a new small gift in the box for your beloved to discover. Your partner will never know when there’s going to be something sweet and special for her to find!

Say “I Love You” In A Unique Way

Take a book that your partner is reading and, using a pencil, underline letters in a section of the book she has yet to read to spell out a secret message of “I love you” or an entire love letter. Doing it just like this. Or for something really unique: You can buy special plants that grow and after 14 days display a message of your choice on the leaf. Cool or what?!?

Start Going On Dates Again

One thing that separates couples with ‘out of this world’ relationships, is they never stop doing new, fun and exciting things with their partner. In other words, they never stop dating and neither should you.

Spend the day doing fun things: go to the carnival, the beach, have a water fight, stare at the clouds on a grassy hill, go on a picnic, walk in the rain without raincoats and umbrellas, dress up in funny costumes and hit the town.

Or how about this: Pick your partner up for a date and blindfold her before driving to a special destination. Try to make the destination something really unexpected like a table set up at the top of a cliff or a dinner on a boat or old-fashioned ship. It needs to be something that will have an impact when she removes the blindfold.

Believe me when I say that NOTHING can rekindle the love, passion and excitement in your relationship more than going on fun and creative dates together.

Have Sex Like The First Time

What was so great about the first time you and your partner had sex? What makes first time sex amazing is that everything is new and there’s no rush in discovering it. Everything is unexpected and surprising. Create that feeling again with your partner by focusing a lot more on foreplay and kissing.

After you’ve reached “home base” and have already had sex with your lover, that’s usually where you’re headed when you start getting intimate. However, when you and your partner first got together, there was no rush to get past giving your partner oral sex or receiving a blowjob in return because simply, that’s as far as you had gotten and you weren’t thinking about what was coming next.

Focusing a lot more on kissing and making out with your lover (as well as spending a lot more time on foreplay) will make her feel like you’re having sex for the first time again. Don’t assume that just because you’ve gotten to 4th base before that you will again. Treat each sensation as though it were all new all over again. Your lover will pick up on your attitude pretty quick!

Kiss Her Like You Don’t Have Anything Else On Your Mind

Sometimes kissing doesn’t have to lead to sex – in fact, kissing your partner should not lead to sex much more often than it does! If you’re holding out on kissing your lover until you’re ready to get it on, you may be robbing your relationship of the romance.

Kiss your partner just to kiss her – before she goes to work, when she gets home and before you go to bed. Make each kiss special and make her feel as though you have nothing more on your mind in that moment than how great it is to kiss her.

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