I always find it fascinating to hear people discuss infidelity and what could have prevented it or what the cheater ‘should have’ done before stepping outside of their relationship.

Are couples really supposed to think about how to KEEP their partner from cheating or how NOT to cheat? 

Do We Really Need to Anticipate Cheating?

The thing about cheating in most cases is, it’s not an anticipated occurrence.  I mean, no one gets married or enters into a relationship thinking that they will cheat or that their partner will.  So all of the ‘couldda-wouldda-shouldda’ talk seems meaningless to me. 

Some experts suggest that the partner who was cheated on did not adorn enough attention or appreciation on the cheater.  Other experts solely blame the cheater on breaking their vows or stepping outside of their relationship in greed. 

Talking About it Before it Happens

Many tend to agree that couples should sit down and have a discussion at the first sign of trouble or to be open with the other partner about their unhappiness in the relationship prior to having an affair occur.  I find that thought wildly unrealistic. 

I think if you are at a stage where you have to sit down and have ‘that conversation’ things are already too far gone.  Plus, I would bet that there are a very minimal percentage of people who would actually HAVE a conversation like this prior to any affair happening. It just doesn’t happen like that. 

As much as we’d like to believe that our partner would ‘at least’ show us the respect of exiting the relationship before a third party interferes, most times, it just doesn’t work that way. The list of what ‘to do’ or what ‘not to do’ when it comes to a faithful relationship is endless. 

A true realization of the risk factors to cheating are never fully appreciated until the scope of the reality sets in. In other words, until the cheater is caught or confesses out of guilt.  Many men (sorry guys!) have stated that they would indeed cheat if they KNEW for sure they could get away with it. 

Unless you can erase your memory, I don’t believe you can ever truly get away with cheating.  In most cases, something’s gotta give.  Sometimes that will include losing custody of your children, losing your home, losing the person you may have actually loved more.. never truly anticipating that you might be found out. 

Does Cheating Really Add Something to the Relationship?

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