Does Cheating Really Add Something to the Relationship?

There are those who believe that the odd affair can ‘add’ something to their marriage. 

Maybe they have the affair then realize what they ‘really’ have at home and come to appreciate it more.  Perhaps the affairs are what keep the cheater feeling fulfilled, and if they are serviced in the area of desire while their partner services all of the ‘other’ needs they figure they might be able to have their cake and eat it too. 

So much of cheating is about rationalization, however irrational it truly is.

End It or Stay In It?

For couples who have discovered adultery has occurred, your choices are to end the relationship and move on or attempt to mend the fences.  I believe the latter is much easier said than done.  Forgiving an affair is one thing, forgetting it is entirely another. 

Once basic trust is lost, I don’t know if it can ever be regained.  Does the discovered cheater want to live the balance of their life proving themselves and being mistrusted?  Does the partner who was cheated upon not realize there are always more options then the person in front of you?  There is. 

There are always, and will always be other options and temptations for everyone in any relationship.  The best you can do is to worry about yourself. 

Prevention Just Doesn’t Work

It is my fundamental belief that you cannot do anything to prevent someone from cheating.  No matter how badly we’d all like to think we can.  There are always couples where one person is shocked that their ‘perfectly happy’ relationship has been rocked by cheating. 

However, most cheaters do not feel the same ‘perfect happiness’ that their partners suggest.  Not everyone feels the same way even though they are in the same relationship.  The best we can do is to try to be happy and fulfilled with the relationship we are in. 

If your partner strays then they are not the best person for you anyway and we all deserve better.  If you are the cheater, you are obviously missing something in your current relationship as well.  The desire I seek in a successful relationship is to make my partner feel as though they are the happiest person in the room at all times.

I also expect my partner to do the same in return.  Enjoying one another is vital.  Attempting to change a person is not a viable option.  Connection is key.  Appreciation is also key, however, you don’t have to kiss your partner’s ass in order to save your relationship from the threat of infidelity.

You’ve got to WANT to appreciate that person, and they do the same for you.  Be your best person and fully expect to get what you give. If you worry your relationship will be hit by a bus one day, you’ll waste precious time when the outcome of tomorrow is almost always uncertain at best.

Page: 1 2