Jazz Concerts

One of the best romantic date ideas for a shy guy is to take a girl to a jazz concert. Jazz concerts might not be your thing, but the slow beat of the drums and the improvisation is very romantic. As a shy guy, you might not want to be the center of attention. A jazz concert is perfect because it’s usually in a bar or small nightclub. You can sit at a table with your girlfriend in the back of the venue and have a conversation or just listen to the music. Either way, the setting will do most of the work for you. Put your hand on her leg and keep the conversation low so she has to come close to you when she talks.

Art Festivals

Romantic date ideas don’t have to involve traditional dinners and expensive wine. You can take your girl out for a romantic date at an art festival. The best thing about art festivals is that they are usually free. Local art shows also offer a variety of things to browse. Hold your girlfriend by the hand as you go from booth to booth. If you find something that you think she might like, buy it for her. It doesn’t have to be a grandiose painting or anything, but a small piece of jewelry can be very romantic.

The Movies

The movie theater can be a great romantic date idea for you and your girl if you’re a shy guy. The movie theater is dark and allows you get close with her. Put your arm around her or hold her hand to keep the scene romantic. Choose a movie that she really wants to see. Even if this is a terrible romantic comedy you will get points for going with her. Women find romance in a man that does things for them that he really doesn’t want to do. Going to a movie with her is a romantic date idea she will love.

Family Events

Women love a guy who takes her to his family events. If you have a parent’s birthday coming up or an anniversary party, take your girlfriend with you. Bringing your girlfriend with you to a family event is a great romantic date idea because she will start to see herself as part of your family. When she sees herself as part of your family she will feel that there is a future between the two of you. Family events are also good because they can bring you out of your shell a little bit. Who knows you better than your family? Take your girlfriend to your next family event for a romantic evening.

Double Dates

Double dates can be very romantic for shy guys. Get together with a friend who is dating somebody and plan an evening out together. When you are around a friend that has known you for a long time you can be comfortable. Feeling comfortable can make all of the shyness disappear. Get dressed up and make a night out of it to add to the romance. Keep engaged with your girlfriend as well as the other people at the table and put your hand on her thigh throughout the evening to keep her feeling special.

The Ballet

I know. It’s definitely not something that you will want to do, but she will love it. The fact that you’re doing something that she wants make the ballet one of the best romantic date ideas out there. The ballet can be very boring and tedious, but your girlfriend will love watching the grace on stage. Hold her hand throughout the evening and she will definitely feel the romance. If you get really bored, just think about what she will give you afterward.

Being a shy guy doesn’t mean that you can’t take your girlfriend out on a romantic date. There are romantic date ideas for shy guys and you should follow these suggestions to give your girlfriend the romance that she wants. Relationships are about give and take. This is your chance to give.

Do you think you have to work really hard to bring romance (and sex) into your partnership?

Do you think it’s beyond repair?

Watch this FREE video presentation to learn how you can turn even the coldest, most despondent girl into a fun-loving, PASSIONATE SEX ADDICT! All you have to have is your cell phone to do it! As simple and weird as it may seem that your cell phone can turn your partnership around and re-ignite the love, it’s true and it WORKS! The techniques in this video have been tested by tens of thousands of men around the world, were featured on Rachael Ray and are based on simple facts of feminine psychology that you’ve probably never heard before.

Click Here to Watch The Video

When you watch this video, you’ll learn how to make your wife or girlfriend think about you all day, want to be around you all the time, want to go on dates and have fun with you and most of all – want to have AMAZING sex with you! She will want to reward you for your efforts at romance, so she’ll constantly be doing things for you like making your favorite meals or doing things in the bedroom that you only dreamed of doing with her!

Believe it or not, all you have to do is push a few buttons on your cell phone!

Thousands of guys have used these tips all over the world and have found them to be incredibly successful. They were amazed at the transformation their wives and girlfriends went through almost overnight! It’s astounding to watch a cold, “unloving” girl turn into a laughing, joyful and romantic girl – just like when you two first met!

Text The Romance Back is such a powerful tool, you can’t afford to pass it up. If you want to put the spark back in your relationship and make it feel like you and your partner just started dating all over again, Text The Romance back can show you how to do it, step by step.

What You’ll Learn…

• How to make your wife or girlfriend not care about your bad habits and shortcomings (they simply just won’t matter that much anymore)
• How to make all of her anger, resentment, jealousy and negative feelings melt away (she’ll act more like she did when you first met her)
• How to make her fantasize about being with you every moment of the day
• How to make her want to have sex with you so bad she can barely stand it

Believe it or not, Text The Romance Back can change your life! Here are some of the things you can expect your wife or girlfriend to start doing after you use the tips in this FREE video!

• She will go out of her way to do things for you or to make things easier for you
• She will be more willing to cook your favorite foods, wear clothes she knows you think are sexy, etc.
• She will want to submit to you and let you be more in control in the partnership
• Her new favorite thing will be to seduce you and lure you into the bedroom!

Before you get started, you MUST know about the “romance lie” that is preventing you from having the kind of relationship you want with your wife or girlfriend – a happy, exciting, fun-filled and satisfying partnership that is as easy and natural as breathing. You’ve tried your hardest to get there, but you just can’t seem to do it.

So what is preventing you from getting there?

Many guys believe that because they’re “men” that they’re not any good at romance or doing romantic things. They think it’s too difficult to do and often just give up. A lot of guys think that they don’t have the time to be romantic, what with a full-time job, paying the bills, taking care of the kids, etc., etc. They feel like with the every day demands that life brings them, they just don’t have any time for romance.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

The techniques used in Text The Romance Back are SO SIMPLE and SO EASY that you could literally do them on your way to work or even on your lunch break – and have your wife or girlfriend leaping into your arms when you get home!

What You DON’T Have To Do…

• Recite silly poetry
• Spend a lot of money
• Buy jewelry, cards, flowers or chocolate
• Dress up in silly outfits to go out on the town
• Humor her by watching girly movies
• Do ANYTHING but use your cell phone!

So could it really be that easy?

Could it really be as simple as using your cell phone to wake up your partner’s excitement?

YES!

If you’ve noticed that the spark has faded from your relationship and you’ve become more like roommates or co-parents than lovers and best friends, then you NEED Text The Romance Back!

Think about it….

Have you noticed that the girl who once showered you with love and affection barely talks to you throughout the day?

Has it been a long time since she’s given you a deep, soulful embrace or even said “I love you?”

Does she nag you over and over about chores to be done rather than sharing her intimate thoughts with you like she used to?

You don’t have to say goodbye to the romance forever! Even if you and your partner have been together for years or even decades, you can get the romance back into your relationship quickly and easily. You’ll be walking around so elated and happy that other guys will be DYING to know what you did to turn your relationship around!

Nothing else is as powerful or as EASY to get your wife or girlfriend back into the relationship and get your relationship where it needs to be. You will both be happy, excited, blissed out and sexually satisfied, all just by using your cell phone!

Can you afford NOT to do that?

Then CLICK HERE to learn how your cellular phone is the easiest and simplest way to make your woman want to have sex with you day and night, without fail!

When you first met your girlfriend, you probably did a lot for her. Surprise dates combined with little gifts and dinner at her favorite restaurant. Over time, the romance can take a nosedive and the relationship can go stale fairly quickly. I’m sure that she still loves you and you still love her, but when a night on the couch becomes the norm, it’s probably time to get a quick shot of romance. Romance can be another language to a guy, but there are a few things that you can do to get the juices flowing in the relationship again. Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Plan Surprise Dates

Surprise dates are very romantic. Surprise dates usually come at the beginning of relationships for a reason. They are fun and they can be very exciting. Call your wife or girlfriend while they are at work and tell them that you want to take them out for dinner. When they ask where, just say that it’s a surprise. This will instantly get them into a romantic mood. Now make a reservation at a restaurant that you have wanted to try or the first place you had dinner together. If your first date was at a Chili’s you might want to change the venue.

2. Make Her Breakfast

A great to breath a little romance into the relationship is to make her breakfast before she goes to work. Get up early and cook her favorite breakfast. When she wakes up she will smell it cooking in the kitchen. This surprise will make her feel special and appreciated. She will surely wake up with a smile and leave for work happy that she’s with you. Not only will she feel appreciated by the gesture, she will appreciate you for taking the time to do something for her.

3. Send Flowers To Her Work

This is generally done on her birthday or on your anniversary, but doing it on a Tuesday for no reason is also a great way to be more romantic. Women love flowers, but they love having the entire office know that somebody loves them. When a coworker walks by and asks what the occasion is, she can tell them that there wasn’t one. This will make her feel special and she’ll think about you all day while at work.

4. Take A Day Trip

Taking a day trip is a great way to have some alone time together. If you live a couple of hours away from a beach or the mountains, you can easily wake up and take a day trip together. Being away from your every day life and hitting the road will bring you closer and allow you to spend quality time together instead of watching TV. Decide on a couple of places to stop during your day trip and take in the local scenery.

5. Get A Hotel Room

A great way to be romantic is to get a hotel room together in the heart of the nearest city. Sometimes a change of venue can bring a little romance back into the relationship. Get dressed up and have drinks around the city. Go to the nearest bars or clubs and spend the night somewhere other than your own home. This will bring you closer and break up the monotony of spending the night in your bed.

6. Call In Sick Together

She might need a little convincing, but get her to call in sick with you. Calling in sick can be spontaneous and extremely romantic. Spend the entire day in bed together or make a day out of working on a project you have been putting off. Calling in sick on a Friday takes this a step further by giving you a long weekend.

7. Spend One Night A Week Without TV

TV can be a relationship killer. Sitting in front of the TV night after night can make the relationship stale. When your TV shows start to be the only thing you have in common, you should take the TV out of your life for at least one night. Turn off the TV and talk to each other. Talk about future plans or play a couple’s game to bring the romance back into your relationship.

Relationships take work. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over and expect the relationship to sustain itself. By being more romantic you can show her that you really do love her. Being more romantic will bring the spark back into the relationship and keep some of the spontaneity in your connection.

A workplace romance can be detrimental to your professional life and career. There is no getting around this. Dating somebody who you work is never a good idea. Most workplace romance takes place with young professionals. Busy work schedules can lead to a lot of time spend with others in your office. Naturally you are going to get close with the girl from sales, but you need to realize what you may be doing to the way that other people in the office see you. Not having the time to meet people outside of the office is a common excuse, but recognizing that this is a recipe for disaster is the first step in avoiding these situations at all costs. Here is a quick guide on how to avoid flirting on the job.

The Signs

The first step in avoiding flirting on the job is to recognize the signs that one is beginning. If you’re getting really close with somebody from work, make sure that you aren’t being overly flirtatious. Being playful with somebody that you work with can be fun and can make the day go by faster, but being overly flirtatious can give them the wrong idea entirely. Take a step back and look for the signs that you are falling into a workplace romance before it even begins.

Make A Commitment

Make a commitment to yourself that you’re not going to enter into a workplace romance. Telling yourself that you’re not going to do something is a good way to avoid it. When you make this commitment, you will be letting yourself down if you break it. This is entirely different than make a commitment to your employer. Most employers frown on romance on the job and this could lead to a very awkward exchange between you, the girl and the HR department.

Think The Worst

The best outcome to a workplace romance could be that you date for a little while, get engaged and then get married. But what about the worst? Have you thought about getting fired? What about if this girl claims sexual harassment? Putting these situations aside, how you would you feel if you were passed up for a promotion because you were dating a girl that would be your subordinate? Always think about the worst thing that could happen to avoid work place romance.

Keep Personal Emails To A Minimum

Emails are a standard for a lot of businesses. Memos, promotional material and other business copy are sent through emails. But what should you do if you get a personal email from a girl that is not exactly “business oriented?” Respond to it with language that cannot be misconstrued. If the emails keep coming, ignore them and have a chat with the girl so she knows that it makes you uncomfortable. Emails have a way a of surfacing even after they are deleted so keep this mind before you that “Send” button.

Business Trips

Business trips can be a lot of fun. Most companies will send their employees to different conferences around the country to get them oriented with the latest technology or techniques in their field. However, business trips can also lead to romance. Sitting at the hotel bar with a coworker sharing stories from college or discussing former relationships can make sparks fly. If you see this coming, avoid the situation by heading back to your room early.

Get Out

One of the best methods to avoiding a workplace romance is to have a non-workplace romance. Being in a relationship will cut all of the funny business out of your real business. Make time to get out and meet people other than those that you work with. Join a gym or just get together with friends and head out one night a week. Making an effort to meet people other than those that you work with will put you in a position to meet a girl that will not affect your professionalism.

We have all heard the horror stories of a workplace romance. Some of the outcomes can even be scary. Dating on the job can easily ruin your credibility within a business and there are countless people who have changed jobs specifically because of this. If you love your job then you shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice it on a fling. Be careful during business trips and recognize the signs before a workplace romance begins. Following these simple guidelines will allow you to avoid flirting on the job and keep you in good standing with your employer.

Give Him A Massage

After a long day at work your guy probably just want to hang out and watch some TV with you. If you want to get the romance started, give him a massage. A massage is physical and we all know how men respond to physicality. Buy some cheap massage oil from a drug store or a department store like Kmart. This will only cost you a few bucks and it can go a long way in showing your guy how much you care about him.

Lay In Bed All Day

Despite their manly exterior, a guy loves staying in bed all day with his significant other. Get a couple of movies and lay around together on a Sunday. Sundays work best because it will help you recharge your batteries for the upcoming week. When the movie is finished, lay in bed and just have a conversation about the future. Talking about your goals and what you want as a future together can be a very romantic.

Take A Bath Together

Turn out all of the lights and fire up some candles. Draw a nice hot bath and let the water brush over both of your bodies. Turn on some music and rub his shoulders as you sit together. The light of the candles and the music will give you a most romantic ambiance.

Do Something You’ve Never Done Together

Have you always wanted to go to that weird art gallery down the street from your house? Have you always wanted hike a trail together? Being together as you try new things can give you memories that will last. Decide on something that the two of you have always talked about doing and actually do it.

Cook Something Together

Cooking can be very sensual and romantic. When you cook together, you use teamwork. If neither of you can cook, you can share a laugh at the final product. When the meal has been made, you can sit together eating the fruits of your labor. After you finish eating, both of you should clean up. Remember, we’re talking about teamwork so both of you should have a part in it.

Take A Short Road Trip Together

Being out on the road can be very romantic. Choose a place that is close to your house so you aren’t spending very much money on gas or a hotel room. A day trip can bring you close together and the drive will give you time to talk. A very cheap road trip could be to a field outside your city to look at the stars. Bring a blanket and lay it down in the field. Turn on your car radio for some music and lay together under the night’s sky.

Leave Secret Notes For Him

Before you leave for the day, leave a little note for your guy telling him how much you love him. When he finds this, he will feel good for the rest of the day. To take it a step further, leave a note for him in a place that he will find it later on in the day. The inside pocket of a suit jacket works very well.

Romance doesn’t have to die out after the first 6 months of your relationship. You can easily keep it going by being proactive. Relationships are work and there is no doubting this. However, you don’t have to spend a ton of money to show your guy how much you care about him. You can do it on the cheap and get the same, if not better results in the process. Super cheap romance is a way to show your guy that you value him personally and not monetarily. Implement these suggestions into your relationship and you should get the romance flowing once again.

Making a relationship “work” is tough enough, actually making it a happy and blissful relationship to be in is a whole different story! It takes effort on both partners to make the other feel loved, wanted, appreciated and enjoyed. There will, no doubt, be conflicts along the way, but if you consciously try to make an effort to be more romantic and more loving, your partnership will benefit a great deal. Remember, a lot of the time, it’s the little things that count the most!

If your relationship could use a dose of romance, check out our best tips of the year & keep the fire alive in your relationship!

• How To Compliment A Girl And Make Her Melt (Video)
• How To Get Her To Fall In Love With You (Video)
• Top 5 Ways To Keep Your Woman Happy
• Top 5 Reasons Not To Cheat
• Make Her Fall In Love With You – Using Only Words! (Video)

Don’t forget to take a look at some of our all time favorite romance articles. Whether you’re trying to find a creative and romantic way to tell your partner that you care about them, or you want to steer clear of behavior that will wreak havoc on your long term relationship, these tips will really come in handy if you want a blissful union.

• 10 Creative Ways To Say “I Love You” Without Saying A Word (Video)
• Top Things Women Do To Screw Up A Long Term Relationship
• Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A Long Term Relationship
• 3 Ways To Plan A Romantic Evening
• 4 Romantic Things To Do For Your Boyfriend
• How To Tell Her You Love Her – 5 Romantic Ideas

Do you find yourself CRAVING more romance in your relationship?

Think your man is simply “not” romantic?

The free video presentation on this page will show you a simple but staggeringly effective method for using tiny little text messages to wake up the “secret romantic” in any man, even if you have kids, work too much, “don’t have time” or if he seems like a “romantic numbskull” now. The techniques in this video have been tested by tens of thousands of women around the world, were featured on Rachael Ray and are based on simple facts of masculine psychology that you’ve probably never heard before.

Click Here to Watch The Video

Warning: Make sure to watch the entire presentation to find out why other attempts to “bring back the romance” in your relationship have failed, why your he secretly craves romance and closeness more than you think (or than he’ll admit) and how to have him craving you, thinking about you and counting down the moments until he gets to see you just by pushing a few buttons on his cell phone.

Is He A Lost Cause?

No Way! Lots of women out there are stuck with guys who have let every bit of romance seep out of them throughout the course of their relationship. Also, let’s not forget about the girls who are stuck with guys who never had an ounce of romance in them to begin with!

Even if your man is the most romantically challenged guy in the world and couldn’t compliment his way out of a paper bag, you can TEACH HIM HOW to say the sweetest things using 1 simple tool that you already have.

So what is this incredible secret to getting your guy to be more romantic than you’ve ever seen him?

Your phone!

Believe it or not, you can use something as easy and simple as your cellular phone to put the romance BACK into your relationship – even if your man never really was romantic at all to begin with!

Text The Romance Back is the ONLY resource out there that teaches women how to use their phones to turn their relationships into something from the movies – or a fairy tale!

What You’ll Learn:

• The REAL secret reason he never takes you out or surprises you anymore (it’s NOT what you think – OR what he told you!)
• How to use simple text messages to turn your guy into a secret Prince Charming!
• How to get him thinking about you ALL day
• How to make him CRAVE YOU – he won’t be able to help but sweep you off your feet!

The best part? There’s no “sexting” required! We’re not talking about texting your guy about how much you want to give him head in a last ditch effort to get him to pay attention to you. This is completely different!

After you watch this FREE VIDEO (from the Rachael Ray Show), you’ll know how to make your guy transform into the sweetest man you’ve ever met, almost overnight!

“It worked on me and he’s not even mine!” — Rachael Ray

Your girlfriends will BEG you to share your secret with them – they’ll wonder how you turned your guy from a dud to a complete Casanova!

By actually following the tips in Text The Romance Back, you’ll be able to:

• Make him think about you NON-STOP!
• Make him miss you and crave you when you’re not around
• Make him count down the moments until he gets to hold you in his arms again

Your “new” man will:

• Make sure you constantly feel loved and connected to him
• Get addicted to romance in a way you never thought possible!
• Seduce you every chance he gets

Once you watch this FREE VIDEO, you’ll learn the #1 BIGGEST reason you feel more like your boyfriend or husband is your roommate instead of your lover.

You’ll learn that the myths that you don’t have time for romance or that guys just don’t like romance are just that – BIG, FAT LIES!

The truth is, almost ALL men have a sweet side!

And any woman can wake up her guy’s passionate side with just a few clicks on her phone!

So are YOU ready for him to start treating you like the prize you are?

Do you want him to sweep you off your feet, romance you and cherish you in his actions every single day?

Are you ready for the relationship THAT YOU DESERVE?

Then CLICK HERE to learn how your cellular phone is the easiest and simplest way to make your man want to romance you day and night, without fail!

It’s not very often that the movie producers, script writers, and authors explore the loveless side of a relationship. When it comes to battlefields, the bedroom is a common source of tension, suspicions, cunning strategies, defensiveness, anger, submission, and control.

What Happens When Your Relationship Gets Boring

When a relationship becomes complacent, it’s usually because one or both partner’s needs are not being met. For men, that vital need is sex. For women, it’s affection. By vital, I mean that most men and women cannot live a happy and fulfilled life if their most important needs are not met. Many times when a man is not happy with his relationship, it’s because his partner is not providing him with enough quality sex. When a woman is unhappy, however, it is quite often because her ultimate need for affection is not getting met.

No matter how it starts, when one partner’s needs goes unmet, a vicious cycle often begins. For example, if a man fails to provide his female partner with the affection she needs, she will feel neglected and withdraw from him, often turning down his sexual advancements. In turn, the man feels rejected, negative feelings develop, and he holds back his affection towards her.

This cycle is very common between couples, especially those who are married or who have been living together for many years. But the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.

How Erotic Massage Can Help

Sensual and erotic massage can give you the tools you need to break the cycle and meet your lady’s need for affection. Through the act of touching your partner, you can heal both your partner and your relationship. In doing so, you will be able to better connect with your partner and strengthen the bond between the two of you.

Not only does erotic massage help relax your partner’s body from the daily stresses of her life (therefore associating you with the dissolution of her negative feelings), it also brings about positive feelings of well being and sexual arousal. When you replace her negative feelings with feelings of sexual arousal, she will become intensely attached to you both physically and sexually. This, in turn, will help her to have better, stronger and faster orgasms.

Yου can use erotic massage and the power of touch to give your partner your loving admiration, love, and support. Wһеn you give your partner the gift of touch, she will have no choice but to let down her walls and open herself to you. Just one session of consciously touching your partner can dissolve years of misunderstandings and neglect, and release feelings of long, companionship, trust, and intimacy.

Love Takes Work

A loving relationship is much more than a few scenes of romantic conflict. It’s a work in progress that needs constant reinforcement and nourishment. Through the art of erotic massage, you can naturally reinforce and nourish the love and intimacy in your relationship and elevate it to an entirely new level—one that promises many happy tomorrows.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

It’s important that you approach the girl you’re interested in slowly, especially if she doesn’t know you or doesn’t know you well. A very strong come on in the beginning isn’t going to work well for you – in fact, it’s very likely to backfire. What you don’t want to do is come off as a creep, because then you could very well be scaring her off for good!

Understand that for a really strong connection to build, it has to start somewhere. It takes time for attraction to build, and if you ever plan on wanting to be in a relationship with this person, you want to make sure your taking the time to build a strong foundation in the beginning. Don’t be afraid to take it slow and let the attraction build naturally. Make sure you get to know her well, and make sure she at least knows that you exist!

If You’re Inexperienced With Women

If you’re shy and inexperienced talking to women, take that first initial step and go out there and start meeting women! Even if they aren’t the “one” that you want to be dating, getting practice talking to women and being comfortable around them will help you to be more smooth and confident when you’re around the lady you really, really like.

Don’t Lose Sight Of Your Own Passions, Goals And Interests

A lot of times what will happen when a guy becomes interested in a girl is he will begin to become obsessed with her. Thoughts of her will end up taking over his mind, and everything he does will somehow be related to her, what she’s doing or where she is. If you want to have any shot with the girl you’re pining over, you have to forget that completely!

Make sure you still have your own goals and passions. Don’t lose yourself when trying to get a girl! That almost never, ever works. She’s not going to be attracted to you if you’re completely obsessed with her. Having your own passions and goals in life (and participating in them actively) is actually the best thing you can do to make her notice you. Concentrate on living your life to the fullest and taking part in things that make you happy. If you’re happy all the time, she’s going to start taking an interest in you. If you’re fun to be around, you’ll really start to attract women!

Get To Know Each Other

In the beginning stages, it’s important for you and the lady you’re interested in to start getting to know each other. You may think you know all about her and you’re madly in love with her, but the truth is, until you’ve really spent some time with someone and have gotten to know them well, it’s really hard to tell if those feelings are genuine. Our brains are excellent at filling in the gaps when it comes to having a crush on someone, so we walk away thinking they’re the love of our lives when in reality, we don’t know them very well at all.

Search for things you and the girl you like have in common. Find out if she even likes you! You cannot force a woman to love you – if you don’t have anything in common or if she doesn’t even really like you “that way,” you can’t force a relationship to come out of it. However, you can “win” a lady’s love if the spark is already there by playing your cards right!

Invest In Yourself

Take some time to make yourself more attractive to women overall. You’re not going to get anyone if you look and feel like a bum! Exercise, eat healthy and nutritious meals and take part in activities that give you confidence and self-worth. Being more confident in general about yourself will automatically make you more attractive to women (including the girl you like). If you don’t love yourself and feel good about yourself first, no one else will either! Also, you ensure that by becoming more attractive in general, you’re leaving the door open for other women – who may be better for you.

The Less You Need Her, The More She Will Like You

You don’t want to be that needy, clingy guy that needs to be around her, be talking to her or be thinking about her to be happy. If you make her your sole source of happiness, she will run for the hills as fast as she can! No girl wants to be the “be all and end all” for a guy. So make a point to “need” her less. This goes back to not losing yourself for a girl and making sure that you still have activities and things that you’re passionate about and enjoy doing. Make time for your guy friends – go out to the sports bar and watch the game with your buddies, or do something else that doesn’t involve her. This will make you way more attractive to her – and it will give her room to chase you a little bit!

Respect That She Can Decide Who She Loves On Her Own

Give her some space. Let her chase you a little – if she feels smothered, she’s going to kick you to the curb in short order. If you’ve done everything you possibly can to win her love and she still doesn’t love you, you’re going to have to recognize when it’s time to move on. If you keep pushing forward when she’s pulling back, you’re going to make yourself out to seem like a stalker! (And you can forget a possible relationship with one of her hot friends if you seem like a weirdo who won’t let go).

She can decide who she wants to love and who she doesn’t all by herself – you cannot force a girl to love you! If this happens to you, concede defeat gracefully and with dignity. Move on, continue improving yourself and doing things that make you happy, and the right one will come along soon enough.

There is something to be said about leaving the city behind, getting away for a day, enjoying whatever beautiful views nature offers you, stuffing yourself silly and then lay back with a glass of wine or whatever liquid takes your fancy. When the sun is shining there’s only one thing to do – and that is, go on a picnic. Now these are not only good for the happily involved but they are essential when trying to win her back! Obviously the weather plays an important part but remember, you can do it both indoors and outdoors. All it takes is a little creative imagination.

What Food To Bring

Most importantly you must find a place that’s sheltered from the wind yet has a lovely view. Set the scene with candles or lanterns, and your loved one (yes her) will be eating out of the palm of your hand! For dinner include:

• Fresh, organic vegetables such as baby carrots, cucumber fingers, baby sweet corn, broccoli, cherry tomatoes and serve with dips such as guacamole, hummus or chopped tomato in cottage cheese, suggests planning and preparation and you can grill the vegetables beforehand for something a little different.
• Cold meats with cheeses such as Camembert and Brie also work well as snacks. The cheese can also be eaten with fruit or crackers.
• It’s always a good idea to stick to finger foods for romantic picnics; this way you can feed each other.
• For something more substantial, make a variety of wraps with cottage cheese and pineapple filling; and pita bread with stuffed with tuna salad, feta and avocado, or feta and carrot.
• A bottle of wine or bubbly makes it a special occasion, but remember to first check whether alcohol is allowed at your spot of choice — and pack two of your prettiest glasses for the occasion.
• Round off your rendezvous with some decadent dark chocolate-tipped strawberries.

Although it seems as though this is a daunting task, and it really doesn’t have to be. A little planning beforehand can make you look like a pro and what better way to impress her than if you can honestly tell her you prepared it yourself. Certain foods are easy and quick to prepare such as cheese and crackers, muffins, grapes, strawberries (these always score big points for the romantic), chips and dips etc., always work well.

Throw in a bottle of wine or some champagne or if going for something non-alcoholic – a chilled fresh fruit juice. When organizing your basket the utensils you bring with are very important.

Setting The Mood

Try to pick a day where the weather is just right for being outside. A sunny, breezy morning is great for brunch, while evening is full of romance and much better for drinking champagne – although you can always do mimosas in the morning! You want to make sure you have the right tools on hand for comfort:

• A blanket, of course, is a must. If you really want to be nostalgic about it, find one in a classic red gingham print. A wooden basket is also a nice touch. Any soft blanket will do though.
• Think about bringing supportive pillows. Inexpensive throw pillows that you keep just for the occasion can help your partner feel more comfortable during your excursion. They’re not large or heavy and are easy to take with you. This can also help create a feeling of romance if you are able to lean back some or lie down next to your partner – and they’re better for sex if you and your lover are in a secluded spot!
• If there’s not a lot of wind, think about bringing candles. Jar candles are your best bet here, because they are shielded some from wind and external elements. While candles aren’t very practical if you’re having a morning or afternoon get together, they can be super romantic if you are having an evening get together.
• Bug repellent is also a must. It’s not super sexy to spray you and your partner down with bug spray before eating (make sure you wash your hands first!) but it will keep the mosquitoes away. It’s hard to create romance when you’re doing nothing but scratching at bug bites! Instead of bug spray, consider using citronella candles or torches that cover a wider area, so your area will be romantically lit and bug free!

No matter what you choose to do for your get together, make sure that your partner feels appreciated and cherished. This is part of the romance – spending time away from the daily grind to eat, drink and reconnect. It’s a wonderful experience no matter how you decide to do it!

Whether your date nights have grown generally boring or you’re looking to really set this year apart from previous ones, your anniversary is a great time to plan a truly special and exciting date. Though some people value anniversary celebrations more than others, no one can resist a spectacular night of celebrating. You don’t even need a big budget to pull off an out-of-the-ordinary date. Plan ahead, consider your partner’s likes and dislikes, and get those creative juices flowing.

Planning Ahead

Depending on what you’re hoping to do for your anniversary, you should start planning anywhere from two weeks out to a full year beforehand. The first two things to take into account are your budget and whether or not you’re getting a gift for your S.O. If you’ve got a sizable budget or have lots of time to start saving money, you can come up with some pretty outlandish date concepts.

If you don’t already have a physical gift in mind, your date can actually become your gift, which then gives your budget a boost. They say that people who spend money on memory-making experiences are happier than those who buy tangible items. Unless you know that your mate expects a piece of jewelry or techie gadgetry every year, give them the gift of a truly memorable time together.

Take them to a concert for a band that they love or to a major sporting event. Do yourself one better and go to something that’s relevant to your relationship. Did you propose at a baseball game? Did you meet at a certain rock club? Go back there and recreate that special night. The tickets are your gift to them, and the awesome anniversary date is built right in.

Go Out Of Town

If your budget goes even further, give the gift of a trip. Plan a weekend getaway. It can be to somewhere that your S.O. has talked about wanting to visit, or it could be to somewhere else equally thoughtful. Maybe you no longer live where you first met.

Go back to the town where your romance blossomed and visit your old haunts. The act of being somewhere other than your current home will instantly spice things up. Demonstrating your thoughtfulness by picking a meaningful destination will show your mate that you’re still in love with him or her.

Local Date Ideas

Of course, if you don’t have the budget for a trip or a more expensive night out, you can still plan a great anniversary date. Plan a night or day full of the things you both enjoy doing most. Eat at you two’s favorite restaurant, grab a drink or two at your favorite bar, and do at least one thing that you both really enjoy.

If you’re both into Latin dancing, find a salsa night somewhere near you. Or if you both love going to the movies, go to a late night showing of something funny or romantic that will put you both in a good mood. Lots of cities have smaller theaters that sometimes show older movies, so you might even be able to find an older favorite of both of yours to watch on the big screen.

Sure, dinner and a movie or drinks and dancing might seem like typical dates, but if you put that extra special spin on it, it becomes a much more interesting night. Just make sure that whatever you do is something both you and your S.O. really enjoy. That way you’re both guaranteed to have a great time. Then head back in for the night and let your great moods carry over into passionate sex.

Low Cost Date Ideas

Should all else fail and your budget be nearly non-existent, remember that a picnic is always romantic, particularly after dark. Even if it’s just in your own backyard, dining al fresco and imbibing a little wine under the stars can make for an incredibly lovely evening. Depending on the remoteness of your location, bring a few blankets along and you could end up creating some extra hot memories, too. You’ll cherish them forever, even if you can’t tell anyone else about them.

Words Are Very Powerful!

Don’t underestimate the power that language has on a woman. Certain phrases can trigger thoughts,emotions and fantasies and can easily affect how a person feels in both good and bad ways. There’s no denying that words can be used to affect someone in many different scenarios. You can also read into the way another person is feeling and thinking by paying attention to the words they’re using in a conversation.

Of course, not just any word is going to make someone upset, happy, angry or excited. It’s the use of emotional language that does that. Emotional language is certain phrases that evoke emotion in someone, whether it makes them feel good or bad or anything in between. You can use innocent words to turn a woman on, or make her feel happy or ecstatic. So it’s no surprise that you can affect how a woman feels just by paying attention to the words you’re using and using the right phrases to make her feel the way you want her to!

Actions Speak Too

Remember that even if you take the best love advice to heart and use the right phrases to win a woman over, you’re still not going to get very far if you don’t follow them up with the right actions. If you’re going to “talk the talk” so to speak, you’ve got to be willing to “walk the walk.” If you say something flirty and nice, and then turn around and do something else that negates what you just said, any girl is going to be able to spot you as a fake. Make sure that your actions go along with what you’re saying and that you’re being genuine about it.

Examples Of Things To Say

Here are some excellent examples of phrases that are going to evoke emotion in a woman:

• Happy – “I feel so happy being with you!”
• Excited – “I’m so excited to see you.”
• Love – “I love it when you….”
• Adore – “I adore you!”
• Confident – “You make me feel confident.”
• Amazing – “I feel amazing around you.”
• Incredible “You’re incredible!”

Using Words The Right Way

To have the impact you want on a woman when using language, it’s important that you pay attention and use it the right way. Avoid talking about things that create a negative energy around you, such as talking about your problems or complaining about the things around you. If you’re creating negative energy around you, you’re not going to be able to make anyone feel good regardless of what language you’re using.

Pay Attention To The Words She’s Using As Well

Women communicate with words much, much more than guys do. In fact, it’s estimated that women use on average 15,000 words a day while men use about 6,000 – so you can pretty much guarantee that she’s going to let you know how she feels and what she’s thinking in her language, even if she doesn’t come right out and say it. Listen to the hidden meaning behind the words she’s using and look for the emotions buried within.

Is she using phrases that suggest she wants to touch or kiss you? Are the phrases she’s using suggesting that she’s happy or having a good time? If so, you’re definitely on the right track! Alternatively, watch for phrases that suggest she’s not having fun or that she isn’t interested in you at all. A lot of guys don’t pay attention to it when a woman makes it clear that she’s not interested in them, simply because it’s not what they want to hear.

Consider Taking A Language Course

Because women use words so much more than men, if you want to really understand girls and how they think, you might want to consider taking a course on the subject. Becoming more knowledgeable about how people use language and the meanings behind certain phrases is going to help you indefinitely when it comes to understanding and talking to women. If you don’t want to take a course, there is tons of information out there on the Internet to help you learn to understand language and how people use it to communicate with each other!

Preparation Is Important

Preparation is important here! Make sure your home is neat, tidy and most of all, comfortable. If you have kids, make sure you have organized a babysitter who can watch the children in their home. If this isn’t feasible, arrange to have a babysitter on standby at your home. Make sure that whoever is watching your kids is prepared for “overtime” if you and your lover end up getting a little frisky after dinner.

Set a flirty mood by sending the invitation to dinner to her office, leave it on her bed, in her briefcase or even send a romantic electronic invite. The fact that you actually took the time to “formally” invite her to dinner at your home will intrigue her enough that you’re almost guaranteed a “yes!”

Planning The Menu

Make sure you plan the menu well ahead of time and shop for the ingredients that you need a few days before your date. This way, if there’s anything that you’ve missed or that you run out of, you still have plenty of time to run to the store without things turning into a giant mess.

Figuring out what to make can be difficult, because you want something that is quick enough that it leaves you time for seduction at the end of the meal but you also want something nice enough that it will impress your gal. Furthermore, you don’t want something so complicated that you’re bound to screw it up and you also want to make sure it’s something she’ll actually like too! What a list! Make sure you know about any food allergies your partner may or may not have before you go shopping.

Time For Fun!

Now’s the time for “dress up” or should we call it “dress down.” Choose a masculine apron and strip naked, leaving your front covered with just your butt cheeks showing. Obviously, you would have ensured that you are freshly showered, wearing your best aftershave and have removed any unwanted hair she might have an aversion to (be it back or butt hair for that matter!).

Make a slightly exaggerated but “cheeky” effort in transforming your lounge/dining room into a sensual, romantic setting. Bend over catching her eye as you lay out the scented candles; carefully chosen mood music and table settings. Adjust the suitable temperature heating (comfortable enough to disrobe in) and check the working CD/IPOD.

Getting Down To Business

Now it’s time for the “main course.” Act the part of the gentleman and tell her you are going to “dress for dinner,” and come out in your TUX (or as fancy as you have). If she objects, saying that she would rather you stay as you are – then obey the lady, after all, the intention is to get naked anyway.

Surprise her by playing a little scene out of the movie (9½ weeks) by blindfolding her; feeding her little portions from the plate and making her guess what food it is. If she gets it wrong, she has to pay a forfeit and what forfeit is entirely up to you – use your imagination and choose one that she would feel comfortable with. Reverse the roles and allow her to do the same to you. Feeding one another is a highly erotic aspect of foreplay that bodes extremely well in building up anticipation.

Following Up With Romance

Last but not least, make sure you have scattered red rose petals all over the area you plan to use to make love, whether it is the bedroom, fireplace or next to the hot tub! You will have planned this before you started cooking, so that you and your lover have a romantic, sensual place to go when things get too hot in the kitchen!

Women Love Romance

Almost every woman loves romance – they love to be sweet talked and told how beautiful they are or how much they mean to a guy. This is another one of those big “men are different than women” things – men don’t put as much stock into words themselves as women do. Words mean a lot to women and with the right words, you can have direct entry into a woman’s heart. If you say the right things, you’ll make a woman melt almost immediately!

Compliments To Use

When you compliment a woman, what you say goes directly into her brain and into her heart. She’ll remember what you said for weeks, months or even years and if it’s something really special, she’ll never forget it. Here are some great compliments to use when you want to make a woman swoon:

• Start any sentence with “I love it when you….” Fill in the blank with something she does that you think is cute or that makes your life easier. This can be really effective if you know she goes out of her way to do something for you. Telling her you love this shows her that a) you noticed that she did it and b) that you appreciate it. That kind of compliment is golden!
• “You make me….” Use this one to tell her about something she does to make your life better in some way. Women love to fix their guys – so tell her something that she’s done for you that makes things easier or better for you.
• Compliment her in ways that make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. Make her feel like she’s truly unique, special and there’s no one else in the world like her. Tell her why she’s perfect for you and how she’s absolutely irreplaceable.

Old Favorites

There are some sayings that have been around for awhile that still work – in fact, these phrases are probably what you’d consider to be a “hammer” in your compliment tool belt. Nothing new or fancy, but these phrases definitely do the trick.

• Saying “I love you” is always in style. Of course, you want to make sure that you’re in that stage of your relationship before you bust out the L-word. If you just met that day, this probably isn’t appropriate to use.
• Tell her that she’s beautiful. Use the word “beautiful” – you may think that “hot” equates to the same thing, but for a woman, it doesn’t. If you tell her that she’s “hot,” she’ll think you regard her as more of an object than a person. Tell her how breathtaking she looks instead.

Being Genuine Is Everything

Don’t just say empty words when you give a woman a compliment. She will see right through it before you even finish getting the sentence out of your mouth. Make sure that you mean what you say! Because women speak in the language of emotions, it’s important to attach your emotions to everything you say. Yes, you’re making yourself a little more vulnerable this way, but it’s exactly what is going to make the difference to your woman.

Pick up lines aren’t what you want to use to give your partner or a woman you like a genuine compliment. What you say needs to come directly from your heart – not memorized beforehand. When talking to a woman, don’t over-exaggerate. Be honest and put the real you out there.

Have A Positive Focus

When wooing a woman with romance, you want to make sure that what you’re saying has a positive focus. Stay focused on talking about the things you like about your woman, not the things that you don’t like.  A great way to be positive is to be kind and appreciative of the thinks you like about your partner about of the things she does for you to make your life better.

Actions do speak louder than words, so you also want to make sure that you’re doing kind things in addition to saying nice and sweet things to your woman. If you’re saying one thing but doing another, you’re only going to confuse or upset her. Here’s how to really show a woman that she’s important to you:

• Spend time with her. If you’re on the phone, get off and talk to her instead.
• Make eye contact with her. Show her you care about her through your eyes.
• Show her that you’re grateful for her being in your life.
• Show her that she’s important to you and you’re happy she’s there with you.

If you compliment a woman and show her that you really care, you’ll make her melt in no time!

Mars vs. Venus

Men and women are different in almost every single way, and how love is perceived is one of them. The way guys and gals feel about love itself is so different that most men usually can’t even fathom what goes through a woman’s head when she’s falling for a guy. It can be difficult for him to know what to say or do to get a woman to swoon but there are lots of easy ways you can increase the chances that she will be attracted to you and fall in love.

What Is Love, Anyway?

Take a step back and examine the idea of love in general. Most people would define it as a deeply intense emotional connection with another person. However, that is only partly true – there is another definition of the emotion that explains what love is and why it makes us feel the way we do.

Literally, love is a series of complex chemicals released from your brain into your body that can affect several things such as your mood, emotions and energy levels. When these chemicals are released, they create the positive feelings of being “in love.”

How Do Women Really Feel About It?

Women spend their entire lives getting ready for love – it’s one of the most important things to a woman and it’s completely woven into the messages that society sends to women. Girls think about it often even from a very young age – they think about the man they’re going to marry or what it might feel like when they finally do go head over heels for a guy.

To be successful in getting a woman to swoon over you, you have to understand that for a woman, love is extremely important. So get ready to stack the cards in your favor and do a few things to increase the chances that she will fall for you.

Make Nice With Your Girl’s Friends And Family

To some degree, a woman’s friends and family have to approve of you for her to be interested in being your partner for the long haul. If you’re a total jerk to her family members or her friends, or do things that the people who are important to your woman disapprove of, you’re just stacking the deck against yourself.

It’s very difficult for a woman to love a man who her family or friends dislike, so make it easier for her by being on your best behavior around people who matter to your woman.

Open Up And Be Emotional

It’s important to make sure you come across as a strong, happy guy with a lot of confidence, however, you also can’t be afraid to show emotion. Women speak in the language of emotions, so hiding yours or acting like you don’t care about hers isn’t going to get you very far at all.

Make sure you show your girl that her emotions are important to you and that you’re not afraid to show your emotions when you are together. Making yourself a little vulnerable to her will make it easier for her to have strong feelings towards you.

Get To Know Your Girl

If you really want to develop a deep bond with a woman, take some time to really get to know her and who she is. Show real and genuine interest in the things that she likes and ask questions about what passions she has and what drives her to do what she does.

Make a habit to actually listen when she’s talking to you and make mental notes about what is really and truly important to your woman. This will show her that you actually do care and the things that mean something to her mean something to you too.

Give Her The Best Sex Of Her Life

Women associate emotion with sex – it’s just part of who they are and how they feel about sex. When they experience an amazing orgasm, they’re more likely to feel strong emotions towards the person they had sex with. Make yourself that person by giving your girl the best sex she’s ever had!

Learn to be an incredible lover. Take some time to read up on how to give a woman a sheet soaking orgasm – don’t think that just because you’ve been having sex for a while that you know everything there is to know about how to please a woman. There’s probably a lot you don’t know – so read up on how to really give a woman pleasure and then practice on your partner.

Be the best she’s ever had! Make sure that she has an orgasm first and pay attention to her body language to determine whether you’re on the right track or not. She’ll let you know what she likes and doesn’t like by the way her body responds to your touches.

Remember To Give Her Space

Girls are complicated – they need to feel close to a guy but at the same time, they need enough space to still feel like they’re independent. Make sure your girl has a life outside of your relationship. Encourage your girl to spend time with her own friends and do things that are fun without you. Take the opportunity to spend some time with your own friends and show your girl that you’re strong, confident and independent too.

You want to get close to a woman – both physically and emotionally – to get her to fall in love, but you want to make sure that you’re not too clingy or needy and that you’re giving your girl plenty of space as well.

Love Yourself First

Remember that the best way to get love from other people is to love yourself first and be someone who other people will naturally love too. If you don’t accept yourself and see yourself as worthy of other people’s love, other people aren’t going to see you worthy of it either.

When you have that inner strength and confidence, it’s incredible how many people are drawn to you and attracted to you. People naturally want to be around others who are happy and who love themselves. If you truly love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and what you have to offer the world, others (including women) will fall in love with you too.

Many factors can go into your decision— how long you’ve been together, your budget, how serious your relationship currently is and how serious you hope it will shortly become. On top of all that, you also want to make sure you get your partner something he or she will genuinely like.

Consider The Situation You’re Buying For

One of the most important things to consider when choosing a gift for your S.O. is whether or not it will be appropriate for the particular situation. The first factor to mull over is exactly what will work for the point you’re at in your relationship. If you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks and your boyfriend or girlfriend’s birthday is at hand, you want to get them a good gift, but nothing so over the top with romance that it catches them off guard.

A gift like pricey jewelry or a vacation is fine when you’ve been together for a few years, but could be misconstrued early on in a relationship. Plus, it’s also important to consider shopping within an appropriate budget. When there’s a holiday that involves an exchange of gifts, you don’t want to overspend and make your partner feel like they were cheap by comparison.

Of course, if you’ve been together for a few years and buy your partner something obviously inexpensive, that can be equally awkward. As a rule, if you think about how serious your relationship is, then seek out a gift that’s similarly serious, you’ll be fine.

Think Outside The Box

The quality of the gift is not always determined by the cost. It’s most important to show that you put actual thought into the gift you’re getting. If you know that your significant other likes flowers and jewelry, or other more typical gifts, then that’s fine. Yet you’ll be amazed at how much more your gift will be appreciated if you think a bit outside of the box. Instead of picking out a typical piece of jewelry from a chain store, choose something one-of-a-kind from a boutique or a site like Etsy.com.

If you’re buying any kind of clothing, jewelry, etc., also be sure to pay attention to what your S.O. already wears. If you buy them something that reflects their tastes instead of yours, they’ll be certain to love it and wear it often. You’ll also demonstrate that you’ve been paying attention to their taste, which proves that you’re thoughtful. Hard to find items, like out-of-print books or DVD’s, can also make impressive gifts, because you had to work a little to track them down.

Give Your Partner An Experience

Great dates can also be full of romance and make excellent gifts. While surprise vacations can be wonderful gifts for people in more serious relationships, there are smaller activity gifts that work well even after a few weeks of dating. Perhaps you know that your boyfriend loves a certain sports team, or your girlfriend has a favorite band that’s on tour.

Purchase a pair of tickets to an upcoming game or concert, plan a day around it, and give your partner the gift of some awesome memories. You’ll score even more points if you’re willing to take your partner out for something you’re not personally interested in. If you can make it through a few Tango classes despite your distaste for dancing, your Latin-dance-loving partner will appreciate it all the more.

Keeping Things Low Cost By Making A Gift

If you’re working on a small budget, you can always create a gift yourself. Handmade presents don’t have to be cheesy or seem cheap. If you have a talent, run with it—create a piece of art, bake a bunch of sweets to put in a goody basket, or curate a music mix that you know your S.O. will enjoy. Handmade touches can also add a personal element of romance to a purchased gift.

For instance, sticking concert tickets into a case with a mix CD you made shows extra initiative and creativity. Thoughtful packaging doesn’t have to be homemade, either. If your sweetheart has a funny bone, you can add some humor by hiding a more meaningful present in something silly, like sticking a piece of jewelry inside a goofy novelty mug.

Knowing Your Partner

Ultimately, if you’re observant and take note of your significant other’s tastes and personality, you can give a great gift. Put thought and time into what you choose, and your boyfriend or girlfriend will be able to tell the minute they open it. You’ll impress them and show them how much you love them, whether your budget is big or small, your relationship long term or new.

It’s important to make sure that you make an effort express your love and affection for your significant other on a regular basis. Keeping the passion of your early relationship going doesn’t require a big production, either. There are easy everyday gestures that you can make that will let your partner know just exactly how much you love them.

Love Is A Basic Human Need

As human beings, we all need to feel loved and cared for. The mere act of doing someone a favor without their having to ask can show just how much you feel for them. There are all sorts of simple favors you can perform on any given day. If your S.O. typically takes their lunch to work, wake up ten minutes early and make it for them every once and awhile.

Volunteer to take over their half of the chores when you know they’ve had a particularly bad week. If you don’t live together, offer to come over and make them dinner or clean their place, instead. These small gestures are thoughtful and truly helpful, and your girlfriend or boyfriend will find them incredibly sweet.

Little Things Make It Romantic

Doing things without any major motive is also a way to bring romance into your relationship. Bringing over flowers just for the heck of it, or serving up breakfast in bed on a Saturday morning, are two classic examples. There are other great random acts, too. There are lots of opportunities to surprise your partner with inexpensive but thoughtful little gifts.

While you’re out grocery shopping, pick up your mate’s favorite candy bar or snack. Bring over a bottle of champagne or sparkling wine to add an extra air of romance to a typical evening in. Did your S.O. recently mention in passing how much they loved eating chocolate chip cookies as a kid? Surprise them with a homemade batch courtesy of yours truly.

Don’t Forget Physical Intimacy

Of course, love also has its physical side. Making sure to kiss and hug everyday is very meaningful. Even if it’s just a quick peck goodbye in the morning, it helps to keep you physically connected. If you see your S.O. sitting around looking stressed out, walk over and give them a five minute shoulder rub and a kiss on the cheek. When you’re watching TV or a movie, sit side by side and hold hands or cuddle. If you feel like sneaking a kiss or two during the commercial break, and that leads to more, then more power to you. The important thing is to keep up regular physical contact. You’ll both be happier for it.

Saying, “I Love You”

There is another simple way to remind your partner of how much you love them. Just tell them. Say it every night before bed or every morning before you leave for work. Say it right before you hang up on the phone or type it at the end of your text. The phrase “I love you” can be reassuring, romantic—even sexy. No matter when or how you say it, make sure that you do. It’s important to put that little daily reminder across to your S.O., so they’ll always know how you feel about them. Combine these words with the other aforementioned thoughtful gestures, and everyday will have an air of romance about it.

So how can you get over your heart break and your lingering feelings? You owe it to yourself to move forward. It’s important, not least of all because you might miss out on the person you should really be with while you’re mooning over the wrong guy or girl.

People You Can’t Pursue A Relationship With

It can be pretty difficult to see the forest for the trees when you’re head over hills for someone. When that individual doesn’t love you back, however, you need to have a reality check with yourself. Sometimes there are obvious reasons why you shouldn’t pursue a relationship with someone. No matter how attracted you are to them, if the object of your affection is married or in a happy relationship, you need to back down and look elsewhere.

If the person is your boss, your direct report, your current teacher or student, it’s inappropriate to pursue them until you no longer work together directly. When there are overt roadblocks like these, it can be easier to convince yourself to move on. But sometimes the only reason to move forward is because your crush just wants to be friends. Worse, maybe they don’t want anything to do with you at all. In either case, it’s in your best interest to spend a decent amount of time away from this person while focusing on your own happiness.

How To Deal With Rejection

You need to harness optimism in this situation, but it needs to be the healthy and not harmful kind. Move away from wishful thinking regarding the guy or girl who rejected you. There’s no point daydreaming that your married flame will suddenly leave their spouse for you, or that they’ll wake up one morning and realize they actually are in love with you.

Harness that source of hope inside yourself and direct it toward better things. Don’t sit at home and sulk night after night. Instead, enlist the help of your friends to make sure you get out of the house and have some fun. Don’t waste your time looking forward to an impossible relationship. Look forward to your fun weekend plans, to your morning run, or to completing that big project at work. Relegate thinking about love to the background for now, and you’ll find you’re able to take a step or two forward.

Moving On

The most important reason to move on is that there truly are other fish in the sea to date. If you’re busy fixating on one person, you’re missing all the other people out there who could easily be a better fit for you. If you’re out in the world enjoying yourself, you just might bump into Mr. or Ms. Right, and then you won’t give a flip about Mr. or Ms. Rejection anymore. So don’t close yourself off to the world, and don’t cling to false hope.

Instead, embrace the knowledge that there could be someone else out there a thousand times more perfect for you. Go out and live your life to the fullest, and you just might find them when you least expect it. There is no point in puppy dogging around after a lost cause. If they don’t see the value in being with you, they’re not worth it anyway.

There are countless things we can do to show that we love someone – truly the list is endless. But what distinguishes love from empty actions is where the action comes from.

For instance, how are you showing love if you avoid saying something to your partner about something that’s bothering you about them, hoping to come across as noble or uncomplaining, if in the end it only ends up causing resentment and frustration on your part, which you will take out on them?

Take The Time To Learn About Your Partner

This may seem obvious, but you you really know a lot about their likes and dislikes, their pet peeves, their guilty pleasures? Knowing these things may not affect your behavior toward them, but it will show that you are investing your attention in them, and that’s a sure-fire sign that you care. Ask your partner questions to learn more about who they are. People like like to know that their partner pays attention to them.

Make Sure Their Happiness Factors Into Your Decision Making Process

Check in with them about how they’re feeling, what they think about things, and where they’re going in life. Embrace this vision they have about themselves as an integral part of you.

Pay Attention To Your Partner

People do make their desires known in one way or another; all we have to do is find the right way to listen. If your partner is using direct words to communicate desires, fantastic, but be aware that there are other clues, both verbal and otherwise, as to what someone wants. You don’t have to be a mind reader, you just have to open your eyes and ears.

React Accordingly To Your Partner’s Desires

If you keep noticing that your partner drools over TV commercials for a particular restaurant, surprise them by taking them to dinner there. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures – my husband, for instance, knows I love to sleep in, so he makes my tea for me in the morning, exactly the way I like it, and that way I don’t have to get up five minutes earlier and do it myself. He loves to meditate but doesn’t always have the time; sometimes I will shift our schedule down half an hour so he can have some time to himself.

Make An Effort To Do New Things Together

Stretch beyond what you already know about each other and about yourselves. Go places you’ve never been before, get in the car and just drive, find a new restaurant, explore a new part of town, or find new activities to try.  Try new sex positions together or new ways of pleasuring each other. Develop a keen interest in learning new things as a couple. It will not only strengthen your bond, going on adventures means you’ll have a lot of great stories to tell at parties! You’ll be that couple who is always doing fun things together.

These are just some starter suggestions – feel free to get creative and expand on them! Bringing happiness and joy to each other is one of the great things about relationships. But of course, what matters the most is where these gestures originate.

You’re not alone. Living with the same partner for a long time can become stable and comfortable, and, as a result, can make things stale and lose the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place. Here are some simple, fun and creative ideas to reignite that magic:

Send Her A Unique Gift At Work

Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write ‘I Love You’ inside a heart.

Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner’s workplace, such as: “For the immediate and urgent attention of: Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith Solicitors, New York.” Mail it to your partner so they receive it in the middle of a busy day.

Have Fun With Water

On a hot summer’s day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. Pull them out and throw one to your girlfriend and then have a huge water fight. If you’re lucky (and you probably will be) your lover will want to to take advantage of the fact that you’re both wet and turned on! Find a good hiding place and get your public sex on.

Bring Back Childhood Memories

Contact your partner’s family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example, if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what she always wanted.

Become Kids Again

If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give her a ride. Might bring back happy memories from childhood.

Organize A Backyard Picnic

Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, chocolates and champagne. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the stars together.

Show Her You’re Grateful For Her

Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find it, with a note on it saying: “Thank you for coming into my life.”

Spice Up Your Lovemaking

Probably the most profound way to rekindle the romance in your relationship is to spice up your lovemaking. Surprise your partner with a little gift after you make love, try new sex positions, learn to give your partner an erotic massage before or after, or just spend some time staring into each other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before making love.

Many people underestimate the power these little things have on a relationship. If things are rough in your relationship don’t wait for your significant other to do something. Take action. Make the first step towards mending your partnership. It’s all about passionate love. Show it.

Create Enough Floor Space

A romantic bedroom is not cramped, so you need to free up the floor and clear the clutter. Sometimes, you’re so in the mood that you never reach the bed. Therefore, your bedroom floor must be impeccably maintained all the time. Some giant floor pillows may be parked in the corner for when you’re in the mood to have sex on the floor.

Aromatherapy

Burning aromatherapy oils is one of the easiest ways to set the mood. Go for lilac, sandalwood, ylang-ylang or other tropical scents that remind you of the beach or a mountain resort. Whether you use oils or wax is up to you, but in my opinion, a small burner with enough oil is easier to maintain and snuff out than a few dozen scented candles. A candle-lit room is definitely romantic, but you don’t want to be running around naked and carrying a fire extinguisher if the curtains catch fire.

Heavy Drapes and Thicker Walls

The room you’re doing it in needs to be fortified with thicker walls if you cannot afford to make it soundproof. Choose multi-layer drapes in a color that complements the walls. If your walls are white, go for darker-colored drapes.

Heavy drapes will keep your dirty talk from reaching your neighbors’ ears, which is something that a flimsy set of Venetian blinds can’t do. Someone shouting ‘keep it down, will you’ from across the street can be a real mood killer, especially when you’re so into the lovemaking, which is why you need to protect your intimate moments with drapes.

Slipcovers for the Chaise Lounge

Use durable, waterproof slipcovers for the sofa inside your bedroom. Why? So that you can do it there without worrying about stains. No matter how careful you are, you are likely to leave stains on furniture in the heat of the moment, that’s why it’s better to protect your couch or love seat using slipcovers. It’s embarrassing to have to explain a mean-looking stain to the one doing your upholstery work. Slipcovers are inexpensive and they can help keep your sex spontaneous.

Paint The Ceiling

If you spend a lot of time in bed with your partner, the ceiling can become one of the most familiar sights to you. A good-looking ceiling is something to stare at while you’re in the throes of lovemaking. If your partner is doing all the work for you and you’re lying flat on your back, you cannot help but glance at your bedroom ceiling. If you see some cracks or peeling plaster on the ceiling, your mood sours a little.

There are several ways to improve your intimacy, so don’t make an appointment with a therapist yet. Married or not, couples need to do something about their situation first before seeking the help of a pro.

Set a Cuddle Time

You girl might feel wary about sudden shows of intimacy, especially if she’s often not in the mood to make love. She might think that you’re just feeling horny, that’s why you’re extra sweet or extra touchy. Women feel pressured to perform, especially if they notice that you just want to do it for your own release, and you don’t seem to care whether or not she gets hers. In a long-term relationship, it gets more and more difficult to set the mood for love making, especially if you and your partner have issues.

What you can do is to be content with just cuddling. Ask her to just cuddle and fall asleep like that together. Doing this a few times will increase intimacy tremendously. Soon, she will start to relax and get rid of the thought that you’re cuddling her so that you can get some that night even if she isn’t in the mood. Soon, she will start to want it whenever you’re acting romantic.

If you cannot help but feel the urge while you’re cuddling, you can wedge a small pillow between your legs so that you’re not inadvertently poking her and destroying the mood in the process.

Be Sexually Honest

Sexual honesty means telling your partner that her technique is not bringing you closer to orgasm, but gently. Instead of doing a full critique of her blowjob technique, guide her hand or give her instructions then reward her with moans.

While it is in bad form to constantly ask your partner if what you’re doing feels good, you must listen to what her body is telling you. Don’t get caught up in the act and simply assuming that everything you do feels good.

Buy Each Other Underwear

One definitive proof that you’re intimate is if you give each other underwear. Say you passed by a nice shop and saw a good bikini-style undergarment that you think she will like. Encourage her to choose an intimate apparel for you when she asks you what you want for Christmas. Besides the fact that she’s likely to wear your gift and show you, the thought that you were picturing how she would look in it while you’re in the lingerie shop is sexy.

These tips are just hints on what intimate activities you can do together to improve your relationship. Intimacy is the foundation of a long-term love affair, so make sure you have a lot of it in your relationship.

Plan A Trip Together

Going on a trip together is one of the best ways to act like a couple in an unfamiliar setting. Imagine visiting places together and finding more things to talk about. Some couples have the best sex in a long time in a hotel suite somewhere far from their home. The environment is new, and so is the ambiance for your love making.

Do something romantic in every city you visit, such as riding a traditional carriage, a boat or a jet ski. If the place you are visiting specializes in an extreme sport (rappelling and bungee), go for it. The exertion and the novelty of the activity will boost your excitement. Anything that is new to you is special, especially if you are sharing it with the one you love.

Naughty Coupons

Print out five naughty coupons that are good only for your anniversary weekend. You can print anything there, including ‘one-hour backrub’, ‘your favorite sex positions for 30 minutes’ and ‘full monty striptease.’ Ask your girl to choose three of the five romance coupons that she will use during that time.

That you’re just letting her use three of the coupons is no accident. There’s a reason for this. You want her to weigh the pros and cons of the activities on those coupons. You want her to imagine which activities would excite her most. Chances are, she will end up fantasizing about all those activities and feeling more excited about your weekend together than you.

Honeymoon Night Revisited

Think you’d only use your wedding finery once? Think again! Make it a habit to re-live your wedding night every year. Wearing your wedding lingerie in your bedroom during your anniversary can be your little secret. No one needs to know why you need to have your wedding stuff dry-cleaned every year.

This would help you remember the silly and romantic moments of your wedding day, and all the bloopers that happened during the wedding night. If you can remember the way you made love that night, great! You can do it that way all over again.

Prepare Midnight Snack In Bed

Instead of preparing dinner, dine out. On your way home, you should stop by a diner and get something you can eat in bed together. Better yet, prepare a ‘sex salad’ that you can use to sustain you if you plan to make love all night long. This is full of romance and incredibly sexy, especially if you both watched Halle Berry’s scene in that James Bond movie (she fed the playboy secret agent fruit after sex).

Here are three of the best ways to bring the oomph back in your relationship and your sex life.

Ask About His Day

Even if you know his routine by heart, you should ask the man you’re dating how his day went. The reason for this is simple but significant: asking means you care. If you just assume that everything went well and that you have a lot more to worry about than his needs or the way he spent his day, that’s when he starts feeling like he’s a fixture.

Comments or questions that encourage him to talk about his activities that day can spark conversation. After you’ve done this a few times, he will go through the day collecting small tidbits of stories he can tell you when he comes home and you ask him how his day went.

Open The Topic On Sex

Innuendo doesn’t have to always come from him. When you casually drop hints that you miss doing it with him, he will assume that you’re in the mood. Doing this will also plant the idea of sex, so that he will think about it even when he wasn’t expecting to have sex with you that night.

Just the thought of sex gets men in the mood, especially if you haven’t been doing it lately. Being playful starts with sexual innuendos, followed by subtle touching and stares that tell him you want him.

Be Touchy-Feely On A Date

A man does not have to be the one doing the asking. Being passive about your dating life will get you nowhere, especially if you’ve been living with the same guy for a long time. Ask him to go with you to the movies, or to a concert, and be touchy-feely when you’re out together.

Public display of affection is a way to increase sexual tension. Men tend to forget to hit on you when you live together. When you’re out on a date, being touchy-feely can make him want to go home as soon as possible. If it’s not possible to go home at once, expect him to reciprocate with his own brand of affection as the sexual tension rises.

If you’re not keen on facing the prospect of a break up, small gestures like these are necessary. Pulling away is the result of not focusing on small things that matter a lot when dating. If your man is not the type to respond well to your gestures, don’t be disillusioned. As long as he feels your sincerity, he will find a way to reciprocate.

Plan The Logistics Of Your Date

Even if you cannot predict the weather, or what will go on exactly during your date (you might have had a dinner date but she wants to drag you to the nearest hotel right away), you can always create an outline of events for romance. At least come up with an idea on how it will begin and end, whose place you are crashing into if you both get carried away during the date, and those small details that could make or break your night.

Schedule and logistics are particularly important if you’re reserving a table in a fancy restaurant, or if you’re going to be watching a movie. But don’t be too anal about the details, especially when your date has a habit of making you wait. Just adjust and adapt to the situation. For instance, if she’s running late, send her a message saying that maybe it’s better to order in so she wouldn’t have to rush home.

Feed Each Other Finger Food

An evening full of romance is not complete without sustenance. But dinner does not have to be a formal affair inside a restaurant with dozens of other people for there to be romance. You can have dinner at home, on the couch and without utensils. The trick is to order in or cook a finger food dish you can share with your partner. Make sure you cook the dish beforehand so that it’s ready when she arrives, or when you meet up (if you’re going for an evening time stroll).

If cooking is not your strong point, you can simply get chips that won’t get your hands too dirty, like the cheese-flavored ones. Although offering chips with your hands is romantic, wiping your fingers on wads of table napkins to get rid of the cheese is not.

Prepare For Sex

Even if you just started dating, it doesn’t hurt to hope for a little nookie after offering up the romance. This means your bedroom must be ready to accommodate you and your girl if things heat up during your date. If your date was a success, you can expect your date to be feeling more than a bit giddy with excitement and sexual tension on your way home.

Clean sheets, dirty laundry in their proper place and your room smelling great – all these things will do wonders for the sex you’re going to have that night. Stash a few condoms near the bed just in case you remove your pants before you get the condoms out of your pocket.

Even after you’ve told your partner that you really care about them, continuing to be romantic throughout a relationship is also difficult. It’s easy to sweep a girl (or guy) off their feet when you first start dating them, but after you’ve been together for some time, day to day life gets in the way and romance isn’t on the forefront of your mind.

Romance – especially for guys – is something they have to work really hard at and romantic ideas rarely pop into their heads without an instigator. Does this mean that telling your significant other that you love them or bringing romance into your relationship is impossible? Not hardly.

It may take a little more work than you originally thought, but there are lots of ways to let your lover know how you feel, often without even saying anything at all. This year, we’ve found the best romance tips out there and the best ways to show your partner you love them. Take these suggestions with you into 2011 for a romance filled new year!

• The Secret To Lasting Love – Better Than Flowers And Chocolate (Video)
• Q&A: What Is A Soulmate? (Video)
• How To Tell Her You Love Her – 5 Romantic Ideas
• 10 Creative Ways To Say I Love You Without Saying A Word (Video)
• Falling In Love – How You Know She’s The One
• Questions To Ask Yourself When Thinking About Getting Married
• Drive Him Wild With Just A Kiss – 4 Must Try Moves
• Q&A: Kissing Tips (Video)

• You act like strangers around each other.
• You become too lazy to have sex with your partner.
• Everything your partner does seems irritating.
• When you make love, your partner does the same thing, whether or not you are enjoying it.

While situations vary among couples, there are some similarities. The relationship is becoming monotonous and the spark is dying. Before your connection with your partner gets damaged any further, try the following.

Celebrate “His” Day

Once a month, you can designate a day when he can become king for 24 hours. Do it in “his-and-hers” fashion to be fair. On his special day, he can have an erotic massage, be served breakfast in bed and be the passive partner during sex. The same should apply when it’s your turn. You may want to wait until his birthday comes around before you do something special. With this gesture, you can make sure that you remind your partner that you’re a couple every once in a while.

Celebrate Your Anniversary – By The Month

This may seem corny (and often, expensive), but reminding each other how long you have been together may help you both understand that you’re in it for the long haul. Also, remembering that times when you were still dating may help improve your romance and how you treat each other. Bake a cake or bring home something special during that day. Make sure it’s something you don’t usually do. If he’s into pasta, make a full-course dinner with pasta as the main dish. If he’s into grilling, you can prepare a week in advance and plan a grill-fest on your month anniversary.

Kinky Thoughts

When you’re just lazing about on a weekend night and relaxing together, you can talk to him about your sex fantasies. Tell him what turns you on, and if he doesn’t take the hint, load the video that got you turned on so he can see for himself.

A perverted train of thought is usually associated with males, which makes it a surprising novelty when the woman starts showing signs of being kinky. But remember to act on your fantasies as soon as you mention them. Talking is the way to begin a kinky night of fantasizing with your partner. But you have to act on one of your fantasies that night, or the gesture is wasted. Simply saying “let’s try it” will get him going.

Encourage Him To Talk Dirty

Sometimes, men are hesitant to talk dirty during sex for fear of offending the woman. This hesitation is present whether or not you’re married. What you can do is to encourage him to talk sexy to you, just to push him in the right direction. After that, you can reciprocate and talk in the same manner to let him know you’re ok with dirty talk.

Write A Quick Letter Or Card

Instead of saying “I love you” to your partner, instead, write them a quick love letter or jot it down in a sweet card that you picked up from the store. It is a quick and easy way to let your partner know just how much they mean to you without saying a word.

Send A Text

In the age of technology, almost everyone has texting capabilities on their cell phones. Instead of sending her a text to please pick up milk after work, send her a text that lets her know you’ve been thinking about her all day. You can do this in a romantic way to let her know that you love her, or you can make a racy text – called sexting – to tell her what you want to do to her when you both get home after work. Texting is so easy and cheap you can do it often just to add a little bit of love to her day.

Put It On A Cookie

On your next trip to the mall, visit the cookie store and have them write “I Love You” on one of those giant chocolate chip cookies. The best part is that you two can enjoy the cookie together later that night!

Draw It On The Sidewalk With Chalk

This is a great idea if your partner is away for business often or if you get home from work several minutes before your partner does. Draw a sweet message on the driveway or sidewalk with sidewalk chalk and they’ll see it as soon as they pull in the driveway from work.

Write It On The Bathroom Mirror

Write “I love you” on the bathroom mirror with an old lipstick that you don’t use anymore, or do it in soap so that when the mirror fogs up when your partner is taking a shower, the message becomes clear. The latter is so much fun because they won’t see the message when they step in the shower, but they’ll see it when they come out!

Use An Entire Pad Of Post It Notes

You can really show your love by using an entire pad of Post-It notes to write sweet messages and stick them all over the house. You can write a different message on each note, or you can simply write “I love you” over and over on each note. Make sure you use brightly colored Post-Its for maximum impact!  

Place An Ad In A Newspaper Or Magazine They Read

Surprise your partner by placing a sweet message in an ad in a newspaper or magazine that they read. Make sure it’s a magazine or newspaper that they actually read though, or else they won’t get your special message!

Draw It On Their Car Windshield

You can use a wax pen or special car window chalk (you know, the kind they use for those “Just Married” signs when people tie the knot) and write “I love you” all over your partner’s car windows. Do this either in the morning before they leave for work or drop by their place of employment while they’re inside so they don’t catch you. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll be around to see the look on their face when they discover your surprise!

Use Glow In The Dark Stars

Get some of those glow in the dark stars (usually in the kids toy section) and write a sweet message on the wall or ceiling for your partner to discover when they turn off the lights. You can also use this as a seduction tactic and suggest that you two have sex “under the stars!”

Create Your Very Own LoveBook

Create an inexpensive but romantic LoveBook that contains reasons why you love your partner and enjoy having them in your life. A LoveBook truly is a keepsake that they will have forever!

Gratitude Journal

When things get rough in your relationship, it’s important to remember what made you first fall in love with your partner. Chances are, the reasons you love your partner are still the reasons you love your partner but day to day stresses have just gotten in the way. It’s easy to focus on little annoyances when things aren’t going your way and this can often put a lot of strain on the relationship. Instead of going over and over why you’re mad at your partner or what they’re doing that really irks you, try focusing on what you love about your partner. Start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down five things that you love about your partner, or that made you fall in love with them in the beginning. Do this for thirty days and you’ll find that all those little annoyances aren’t such a big deal anymore and its easier to remember why your partner is important to you.

Create A LoveBook

A LoveBook is a great option for putting your gratitude journal into something you can give as a great gift and keep for years to come. Sign up for a free account online and start making your LoveBook right away. Pick between a hard or soft cover and choose your cover art. Then, pick from pre-made pages of things you love about your partner or create your very own page. Each page has an illustration on it to help bring the book to life. Once you’re finished putting it all together, order your LoveBook and have it sent to your home. Now you have something to look back on when you’re feeling frustrated in your relationship or give as a perfect romantic gift for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or just because.

LoveBook Gift Ideas

A LoveBook is a great gift for your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or partner. This is originally what the LoveBook was designed for, and you simply can’t get any more personal or original with your gift. Forget the bland “flowers-and-chocolate-or-dinner-reservations” gifts and get your partner something really special instead. LoveBooks also make great gifts for parents and grandparents to let them know how thankful you are and how much you appreciate them in your life. Make a LoveBook for your child on their birthday or on any day to let them know all the reasons you think they’re a stellar kid and why you’re proud of them. If you use your imagination, you can give a LoveBook to just about anyone and let them know why they’re important to you and why they’re a big part of your life! Of course, giving a LoveBook to your partner is super special, and it’s so easy you can make one every year to let them know how your love for them continues to grow and grow.

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, my question for you what are both of your opinions on the concept on “soul mates,” and can you put that concept into what it’s like on a daily basis?

–YouTube Viewer

What Is A Soul Connection?

A soul connection is described differently by a lot of people. There are many different opinions on what a soul mate is and if soul mates even exist. Everyone has their own opinion on whether soul mates exist or don’t, as well as what a soul connection is like when you experience it. Some people who have never experienced a soul connection are very doubtful that soul mates are possible, while someone who has experienced that deep level of love and trust will never doubt its existence. The most common description of a soul connection between two people is when both people just “know” that they need to be in each other’s lives, be it at that moment, for that week or for life. Some people feel like it is “love at first sight,” but what each person seems to agree upon is that it is a feeling about someone that goes very deep, possibly deeper than you’ve ever felt before.

Who Can You Have A Soul Connection With?

People can have a soul connection with just about anyone. Gender, social status, money or life experiences have nothing to do with whom you have a soul connection with. You may have a soul connection with a friend or a lover, or more than one person. There isn’t just one “soul mate” for each person out there on the planet. A soul connection can be had with anyone, or more than one person at a time. One soul mate doesn’t trump another, although different types of soul connections can exist. You may have a deep connection with an old friend, but you may also have a very deep connection with your partner. Both are equally important to you and nurture your soul in different ways.

What Is Day To Day Life Like With A Soul Mate?

Even if you’re in a long term relationship with your soul mate, your relationship and day to day life may not always be smooth sailing. Day to day issues are going to get in the way, such as bills and kids, and you and your partner may not always be in agreement about everything. You and your partner may not see eye to eye on everything, but the important part about soul mates is that after the storms blow over at the end of the day, you and your partner still feel that deep love between each other and still feel like you’re playing on the same team.

Whatever you do, you shouldn’t be complacent when it comes to dating. Most men realize this and they do what they can to be more romantic, but unfortunately, the women won’t recognize their efforts. It’s not always because the men are doing it wrong. It may be because the woman expects something more.

Your mission is to make her think of you as the most romantic guy ever, and here are 5 ways to do that.

Do Her Chores

Making life easy for your girl is one sign that you love her, and she will feel this too. Once a week, make it a point to give your girl a day off by taking charge of chores while she does her nails or while she visits a salon for a makeover.

Flowers

You often hear that girls think it’s sweet when men give them flowers for birthdays and valentines, right? You know what’s sweeter? It’s giving flowers when there’s no special occasion to celebrate. On any ordinary day, give her a few stalks of her favorite flowers. Women are conditioned to like this gesture from their childhood, so you can’t go wrong with this one.

Dinner

Even the modern woman feels all warm and fuzzy when a man pays for her meal. It’s just an instinct that all women share. Take your girl out, go to her favorite restaurant and snack together on her favorite dishes whenever you can.

Travel Together

Whether it’s just the next state or a neighboring country, make sure you spend some time with your girl travelling to another place for a change of scene. Being stuck in one place can be uncomfortable, not to mention boring. Make sure you ask your girl where she wants to go, and which activities she wants to try in another place before making your plans.

Sex

Love making is the ultimate way to express your feelings to her. Set it up nicely with a good bubble bath, scented candles and aromatic oils. When she’s relaxed, you can proceed with erotic massage. Be patient and make her feel that it’s her night and you’re her sex slave for the night.

Go for kinky sex! If your girl is usually submissive during sex, turn the tables on her and let her dominate you for one night. However, be sure to give her guidance and instructions (like what the leather whip is for), or offer suggestions on how to role play as a dominatrix.

Of course, everything in Reader’s Digest is short and digestible. So out of just a few, brief paragraphs answering a question about the success of his marriage to actress Tracy Pollan, Michael gave me the following gem.

He said that the key to his marriage with Tracy “is the capacity to give each other a break. And to realize that it’s not how our similarities work together; it’s how our differences work together. You have to realize that someone can care for you and still not understand your every motive, emotion, need, and desire.”

Give Your Partner A Break

It’s a quality that can tear apart a relationship is unspoken expectations. Conversely, a quality that can build up a relationship is the ability to cut each other some slack as you come to appreciate how your differences work together.

I remember that as a young newlywed it sometimes seemed that the differences between my husband and me were evidence that 1) we might have made a mistake, 2) I might have made a mistake, 3) our differences were proof that our relationship wouldn’t make it, and 4) our differences were proof that there was something “wrong” with one or both of us. I suspect my husband experienced our differences in our early years as something that confirmed his sense of inadequacy. That is a heck of a lot to put on the differences between two lovers, but people do it all the time!

I think one of the expectations we come to new love with is that our beloved will always understand us, be able to anticipate our desires, meet our needs, and appreciate our motives. It’s fantastical thinking and in the very early days may actually seem true! When the chemistry is fresh, young lovers can magically read each other’s minds, confirming that moving forward with this stranger is a good idea. But the newness wears off as young lovers get to know each other and the chemistry unique to new love dissipates, taking the ability to read each other’s minds with it.

When Your Love Is Young

By the way, as I refer to “young lovers” in this article, I’m talking about the love between two people being young. I’m not referring to age. And the “chemistry” in the above paragraph isn’t a reference to science! It’s that succinct term we all use to refer to the magic of connection that happens between lovers.

If you think about it, chances are the couples you most admire are those who are made up of two people who are each comfortable in their own skin as well as comfortable in the “skin” of each other and the relationship. There is just something about couples who cut each other some slack that is comforting and sexy. I’m not talking about the kind of giving each other a break that will result in one of them being a doormat. I’m talking about two people who genuinely appreciate each other – even the differences between them.

When we appreciate our differences, we welcome the other’s person’s perspective as something that heightens our life experience. We know that our life is richer because of those differences.

For instance, in one couple you have a dominant personality and promoting personality wedded to each other. If they can appreciate and embrace their differences; then rather than driving each other crazy, the promoter brings a joie de vivre to the serious nature of the dominant one. And the dominant one helps keep the promoter honest.

Learn To Embrace Your Differences

Or if you have an analytical type wedded to a supportive type and they embrace their differences; then the supportive one helps the analytic relax and go with the flow while the analytic helps the supportive one consider multiple options when problem solving. These are broadly sweeping examples but the point is that our differences don’t have to be red flags that something is wrong. Instead, they can be spices that enrich the flavor of our relationships.

The next time the person you love most in the world makes you nuts with how they’re different from you, stop and consider how the difference enriches your life. If they’re different, they have something you lack. You chose them. Figure out how you benefit from this difference and try a little attitude adjustment. You just might find your attraction for him or her grows exponentially as a result, and with that the quality of your relationship as well!

You don’t have to play the field, but you can be sociable enough so that you aren’t alone most of the time. Most guys buckle from pressure of being in a committed relationship, but only because they have not found the girl they will give up their independence for.

You Feel the Chemistry

Whether you’re just locking eyes or you’re exchanging a kiss, the atmosphere around you is explosive. Some men claim that they know they’ve found the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with after the first date, while some claim it took a while before they felt the magic. Regardless of how long you’ve known the girl, there will always be sparks when you exchange a kiss, a hug or you’re just talking on the phone. That’s called chemistry, or sexual tension, and that’s one indication that she’s the one.

She Likes The Whole Package

Have you ever felt the pressure to be someone you’re not when you’re out with a girl? Sometimes, it’s hardly your fault. You subconsciously know that the woman expects you to act like someone else, or her version of a Prince Charming. If this is the case with a girl, the relationship won’t progress. In fact, it might end abruptly when you can’t take the pressure anymore and act like your true self.

A girl who’s the right one for you can tolerate your brand of humor. She likes you even if you’re not trying your best to impress her.

She’s Looking At The Big Picture

One of the main indications that you’ve found a keeper is when she talks about the future with you comfortably and naturally. In the beginning of any relationship, it may seem like you mean the whole world to each other. You want so many things at once, that you feel like you’re rushing.

A girl who really loves you will look at the big picture and understand that you have your whole life together ahead of you. She won’t rush and push you into making haphazard decisions. She understands that you’re going through life at your own pace, and she’s ok with that.

It may seem difficult to find the “One” who can make you happy, but if you keep your hopes up and treat each date as special, you’re bound to find the girl of your dreams sooner than you think. Love is the sum total of different factors: her actions towards you and your reaction to her affection.

Younger Man + Older Woman Or Older Man + Younger Woman?

The first aspect to consider is the genders as they relate to the ages. Would an older man/younger woman combination be more likely to succeed than an older woman/younger man relationship? Not necessarily, but it is more acceptable by society’s standards. Nowadays, a young woman on the arm of her older partner would not cause one to even bat an eyelash. The stigma of an older woman courting a young man is slowly dissipating, but the situation is still likely to draw jokes about her being a “cougar.” Because of that stigma, it is often harder to be taken seriously as a legitimate couple.

Spring-Time Perks

One of the best ways to succeed in a May-to-December romance is to find a way of bridging the gap. For instance, if you are a young woman (or man) with no interest in the wild dating scene, you may be looking for someone to settle down with right away. Meanwhile, an older man (or woman) has focused on his/her career for most of their adult life, and now they are ready to start a family. These people are able to meet halfway to fulfill their common goals or desires.

Cold Weather Drawbacks

The relationships that seem doomed to fail are the ones in which the couple does not have a connection deeper than appearances, money, or other superficial perks. For example, an older man may proudly find himself the target of his friends’ jealousy when he starts dating a hot 18-year-old. However, the disappointments quickly pile up when he realizes what may accompany this particular age: no previous adult relationships, insecurity, partying lifestyle, and little “real world” experience. Also, you may enjoy the vigor of your younger lover. Yet, what happens if you are ready to have a baby or to move to the countryside, but your energetic partner isn’t ready to settle down?

And Over Time?

Moreover, generations have widely varying ideals, values, and goals from the next. One woman, whose parents are 20 years apart in age, shared her experiences. While the age difference didn’t matter when they were in their 30s and 50s, respectively, it certainly made an impact when they hit their 60s and 80s. When she was younger, the mother hadn’t minded her husband’s old-fashioned views about “a woman’s duties,” such as rearing the kids, cooking, and cleaning. Yet as an aging woman, she no longer had the energy to do all the housework. Also, as he grew older, he became less interested in such activities as traveling—even though she was still into traveling the world.

“While a big age difference is irrelevant for a time,” she concluded, “it’s almost guaranteed to cause problems if you’re still together when the older person is actually old. They have a good relationship despite their differences, though. They knew what they were getting into and decided they loved each other enough that they’d deal with it.”

Question: I have a very simple question and I wasn’t sure if you had already made a video about it. How do you tell someone you love them if you’ve never said it seriously before? I’m in my first relationship (I’m 19) and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four months and I have never felt this way before. I do think I love him but I don’t know how to tell him. Do I love him or do I just think I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Sharing Your Feelings

If you have special feelings for your partner – whether it’s love or something else – it can be a relief to share your feelings with your partner out loud. It’s also nice to know that someone else has special feelings for you, even if you haven’t spoken about your feelings first. It can be scary to put your feelings out in the open like that though, without assurance that your partner feels the same way. But take the chance. You’re only letting your partner know how you feel. Don’t make a big production out of it. It’s as simple as that.

Does He Have To Say It Back?

Part of the awkwardness of saying I love you to someone is when they feel the pressure to say it back when they haven’t even explored their feelings about you yet. Let them know that just because you’ve shared your feelings with them, it doesn’t mean they have to say “I love you” back or share their feelings at all. Let them know you’re just putting it out there in the open. Most guys hear a woman say “I love you” and think that now they have to be in a committed relationship and they’re chained down. Let him know that’s not the case. You’re not definining the relationship or discussing “where you stand.” You’re just letting him know you have special feelings for him.

Show Him You Love Him

One of the best ways to let your partner know that you love them is to show them in addition to telling them. Or you can show them instead of telling them, if you’re really nervous that telling him that you love him out loud will make things too awkward. But remember that actions do speak louder than words in most cases, so you can really make a statement if you just do little things that let him know you care. Pick up his favorite snack at the store next time you’re shopping or remember what he says about something he’s very passionate about, even if it completely disinterests you. Make an effort to let him know you’re really into him with your actions and he’ll definitely get it.

Question: A few weeks ago, me and a good friend of mine setup to have a date. I have some affection towards her and I thought she felt the same way. Two days before our date, I confessed my love to her. On the day of the date, I called her up to see if she still wants to go; she didn’t pick up. Then the next day I called her to see if she still wants to go out today and she said “I don’t think that is a good idea.” So I get the idea and drop it. We still talk once in a while now, but not as much and intimate as before. But then last week, I asked her out to dinner and she came. I’m confused, what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Labeling The Relationship

Often, people who are dating are too quick to put a label on the “relationship” they have, and want to know where they stand when it comes to being with someone. This goes for both guys and girls though – it’s a common belief that women do this more than men, but it’s actually about equal between the sexes. Unfortunately, when one person in the relationship is pressing to define it, the other person gets scared and starts moving away emotionally. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to spend time with you or don’t like you, but it may mean that they just want to go slowly and let the relationship go where it needs to on its own.

Backtracking

If you’ve confessed your love to someone and they start giving you the slip, you may think you’ll never repair the damage that was done. That could be true, but not always. The thing to do now is to back off and let them take the lead. Don’t start calling all the time or continue to try to get them to go out with you. They may like you, but they may just need some time to air out. Take a few steps back and let them call you. Be polite and friendly when you see them, but let them make the moves. If you do want to ask them out, suggest going to a casual lunch or bowling. Whatever you do, make sure they don’t feel pressured in any way and they just might come around.

Letting A Relationship Develop On Its Own

When you start dating, it can be tempting to move along quite quickly, especially if you feel like you’re ready to settle down. Instead, try letting the relationship develop on its own. Don’t ask your partner where you stand or try to define the relationship, because often, it’s always changing. Just focus on enjoying being with the person you’re with and let the relationship move along at its own pace. Getting to stop and enjoy all stages of a budding relationship is like stopping and smelling the flowers - totally worth it.

Hot Ideas For When It’s Cold Outside

• Mix up a hot drink and then cozy up with each other. Whether it’s hot chocolate or hot toddy, getting warm together doesn’t HAVE to involve sex! Start out with something simple like a drink to warm you up and snuggle up together by reading a book, playing a game, or beginning a project you’ve been putting off.
• Let it lead to sex. Studies show that during big storms people usually make love, make babies or fight. Starting by reconnecting with something simple (a book, a game, etc.), as I mentioned above, can lead to a more intimate conclusion. Take advantage of the fact that you don’t have anywhere to be! If you’re like most of us, this will likely be one of the few times when Mother Nature forces you to slow down and simplify! Make the most of your time indoors, since there’s nowhere else you could be, even if you wanted to. Instead of letting your obligations stress you out, let go of your responsibilities by having an affair with your own partner. I mention this technique in my book, Make up Don’t Break up, where I give couples tools for rekindling romance.
• Get outside. That’s right - it’s cold and snowy and you don’t have to go anywhere so why not relive the excitement that snowdays gave you as a kid?! These types of opportunities often bring out our inner child, so go with it, get playful and see where it leads. You may learn something new about your partner, discover something new you can do together (who doesn’t love making snowmen?), and if nothing else, have a good time goofing around together.
• Recreate the chemicals you experienced when you first fell in love. Take this opportunity to give a 30 second kiss and/or 20 second hug so you can fall back in love with your partner for Valentines Day during this snow-in.

I talk more about ways to fall in love and stay in love – no matter what the weather – in my book, Make Up Don’t Break Up!

Keeping Romance Alive With The Platinum Rule

Fewer people have heard of the Platinum Rule, which says “Do unto others as they want you to do unto them.”  Following the Platinum Rule is a much better way to keep romance alive in your relationship, but for most men, simply following the rule is the easy part.  Finding out exactly what a woman wants can be a difficult thing for men to do, especially since every person’s desires evolve over the course of a relationship.  Applying the Platinum Rule to your relationship can dramatically improve your satisfaction, but it also requires consistent attention to identify her desires.

The most obvious way to find out how she wants to be treated romantically is by asking her.  While we promote good old-fashioned romance on our website, and we will always believe that it will lead to more happiness in most relationships, we also realize that there are some women who might not like the type of gallant attention that it calls for.  Some women simply don’t like classically romantic overtures, and measuring her reaction when you bring up topics of amour can give you a clue to what kind of a partner she really wants.

Being Empathetic To Satisfy Your Partner

In some cases, the best way to find out how she wants to be treated is through good old empathy.  Your wife or girlfriend might not be able to really tell you what she thinks about romance, but you should know her well enough to put yourself in her shoes for a while.  Does romantic behavior embarrass or intimidate her, or does she light up at small loving gestures and actions?  Will it take some consistent effort to get her used to being romantic, or is she more comfortable with you treating each other as peers and friends?  Old-fashioned romance can seem outdated and schmaltzy to some women nowadays, and there’s nothing wrong with that opinion.

Using the Platinum Rule and treating her as she wants to be treated will inevitably lead to more romance and satisfaction in your relationship, even if you discover she isn’t as interested in overt physical affection on a regular basis. 

View Obstacles As Positive Challenges

There’s no single formula for successful couples, and what works for you will have a lot to do with your partner’s unique personality and the dynamics of your relationship.  Just remember one important rule of thumb: if her romantic desires don’t mesh perfectly with yours, look at it as a challenge, not a hindrance.

Perhaps most importantly, using the Platinum Rule in your relationship will likely lead to a great return on your investment.  Once she sees how dedicated you are to treating her as she wants to be treated, she will be much more likely to take the time to do the same for you, as well.

When A Man Needs His Space

If the concept is new to you, let me explain it. However, new the concept is, it is a good bet you have experienced it! When a man and woman are in an argument, at some point the conversation breaks down because he has to get away. Whether he goes for a drive, picks up the newspaper and starts reading, or goes to his office or work room, the man needs space and he creates it. He creates it immediately without consulting you or asking your permission. Women tend to find this behavior dismissive and insulting.

The cave also looks like this – the man comes home at the end of his work day and he just isn’t interested in how your day went. He wants to sit back and relax. He wants the television or the newspaper or to disappear somewhere out of range. He doesn’t seem to want his woman’s company. That is not if she needs to talk. If she genuinely wants to sit quietly with him doing her own reading or watching TV, that’s great. However, he unwinds best without conversation and by creating space for himself.

As I write this, I have a chorus of women’s voices in my head screaming at me, “Don’t you dare justify this behavior in men!” Well, I apologize ladies; but, indeed, I am going to justify it. I can promise you this: if you will get on board with this phenomenon in men, your life and your relationship will improve.

Can A Man’s Need To Destress Make Your Relationship Better?

Joseph’s (my husband’s) and my podcast has given us the gift of talking with many high quality relationship experts this year. In fact, two of our early guests were Dan and Jennifer! The men who are out there writing and making a difference in relationships have consistently referred to how a man has to process his feelings on his own. They discuss the science of how men’s and women’s minds work differently. This has been very helpful because how our minds work goes back to prehistoric days when the differences sustained communities and saved lives.

For instance, have you noticed that when a man is driving in heavy traffic, he isn’t inclined to carry on lengthy, winding conversations with his woman? If you are in the middle of a conversation it will come to an abrupt end as the traffic gets all of his attention. This is because men are wired to protect. In situations where physical harm could occur, their focus becomes laser sharp on protecting. Conversation be damned! There have probably been countless arguments in the front seats of cars for decades because she was talking, his attention completely left her to focus on his driving, and she felt dismissed!

Over and over again, men who are relationship experts agree, men process their feelings on their own. It is hardwired into their chemistry and their physiology to separate themselves from the women they love when under stress with those women.

The Differences Between Men And Women

Women can talk for hours about everything they experience, think, and feel. Men cannot. It isn’t that they don’t want to. They can’t. Between Joseph and his men friends, they all know when one or more of them just can’t talk anymore. Between men it isn’t insulting for one or more of them to withdraw either physically, emotionally, or mentally when talking comes to the point of being overwhelming. Also, between Joseph and his men friends, the only thing they laugh at where their marriages are concerned is how they cannot keep up with their women’s talking and sharing.

Joseph and I talked about this quote, “Girls: Guys must get away from the source of their stress. When he’s in his ‘Nothing Box,’ he’s not mad, he’s simply de-stressing.” He said, “I know this sounds terrible, but it’s like dog training! You know how when training a dog, it tires the dog out because it forces the dog to think so much? Well, that’s how it is for men. We simply cannot keep up with our women when it comes to talking and sharing. It’s one reason we get angry about it. We cannot keep up with it and that causes us to feel shame. Once that shame button is switched on, the conversation is over.”

He went on to say that men are problem solvers. In all that talking, problems aren’t being solved. Therefore, all that talking is a source of stress. Eventually, the only way he can process the stress is to get away from it.

So how will a woman’s relationship improve when she accepts this masculine phenomenon? By accepting a man’s social and biological reality, she respects him. That respect of him translates into his love for her growing. Men adore women who respect them. It is as simple as that.

What I got so deeply out of that micro-post was this: it isn’t personal. When he goes to his cave, he is taking care of his needs. In a very real sense, it isn’t about me. Respecting his masculine process allows us both to relax and get back to the good stuff, living life together in love.

We all know this. Words are easy to say – actions are more difficult to, well, put into action. And commitment … that can be an entirely different story altogether! Just ask any of the reality stars who’ve looked for so-called love and ended up with egg on their face when the relationship ended days, weeks, or months later.

It All Begins With Number One

This all sounds basic, but it’s something we need to keep in mind and know the difference between (action vs. words) BEFORE you drop your drawers. No matter how good he or she makes you feel—and, like we both know, chemistry feels soooooo good! We need to stop, slow down and pay attention to what people DO and what they SAY and SEE if they match. Or we have only ourselves to blame.

So here is some real tough love! You want a great relationship? It’s not about someone saying the right words, and it doesn’t start with someone doing all the right things. Finding love begins with loving ourselves and understanding that love is NOT a competition; and getting that special girl or guy is not a reward for being sexy, beautiful or better than someone else. Sex is a sacred act. Our bodies are sacred temples and we get into trouble when we don’t recognize or respect ourselves accordingly.

Love is not negotiable; it doesn’t disappear in the presence of someone cuter; love isn’t confused or bored. The truth is love is a decision we make in our hearts and souls, coupled with a deep resonance; mentally, physically, and spiritually. NOT a chemical reaction – what some people call “chemistry” (which I don’t believe actually exists as a real thing). That is lust, our lower instinctive nature, fleeting and honestly not necessarily part of a great relationship.

Love Is Truly An Action

So forget chemistry or whatever you want to call it – when you have strong feelings for someone and are deciding if you want to spend more time with them—share your life, heart and soul—you want to make sure this person will be the best, most capable person for the job, which is evidenced by building trust over time. Watch what they say and make sure it matches what they do in ALL areas of their life, with their family, co-workers, the waiters and waitresses, strangers and especially their ex-partners!

What I am saying (and, I know, in long, run-on, busy sentences) is that love is not a feeling. It’s not some mythical version of a chemical connection. It’s not feeling the same thing over and over for different people. Love is an action. It’s a state of being. It doesn’t choose one person over another and it does NOT have a shelf life. I have said, like our bachelor, “I love you,” many times. And depending on where I was at in my life it meant different things. It meant “I need you, I am glad you care about me, please love me back, let’s have sex, don’t ever leave me,” and on and on. Until I grew up, which is a choice I get to make every day, by the way. To be mature and responsible. And practice the art of loving. Starting with me.

What Is A Love Map?

And I strongly recommend you learn what your love map looks like – Intimately! Otherwise you end up falling victim to the unconscious loop that most of us repeat over and over, and NOT in a good way. Here are some fateful patterns I’ve seen far too often: you always attract people who cheat, are narcissists, are abusive, have no drive, are alcoholic or addicted to pornography, or perhaps they just can’t seem to tell the truth about anything (especially when it comes to where they have been and who with); and the list literally goes on and on.

Making the distinction between who I am being (my persona or inauthentic self) and my true self (or authentic self) is the first step in the process of awakening, which leads to the eventual shift from unconsciously and reflexively choosing the same type of relationship over and over again.

Over the last 25 years of working in the personal development industry I have learned some amazing things, some absolutely life-altering truths that have become creed because they were ultimately irrefutable (true whether or not I believed them).

What Is NOT Love?

Few rival my understanding of what love is NOT:

Chemistry is not love. Chemistry is…well…chemistry.

Desire is not love. Hmmm, yeah, it’s more like being addicted to the feeling of wanting something you can’t have, so you set yourself up again and again to feel it!

Longing is also not love!

Feeling lovesick isn’t love either. Confusing this with love most likely can be traced back to a love map laced with abandonment issues.

Infatuation, often confused with love, is a strong psychological projection onto the love object.

Lust, hmmm, a biological function designed to procreate. (Period.)

Abuse, definitely NOT. Usually a direct connection to our low- or no-self-esteem!

Neglect, no, not love either. There’s always time for some loving exchange!

Indifference. Ouch. Nope. Not likely. More likely booty call, or they’re just not into you at all!

Making Better Choices

For me, making this/these distinctions saved me a whole hellavalotta heart ache. I learned to make better choices and found that I respected myself even more when I focused on what was real and authentic about myself, rather than focusing on trying to figure out who you wanted or needed me to be. At first, like with many things, I had a tough time believing this was true and still find I can get caught in that trap. But overall, this awareness makes it possible for us to attract and create a healthy, loving relationship rather than one based on deserve and reward.

The expectations include things like what we want this person to be like, what he or she should look like, sound like, and act like. They can be about wanting him or her to have a certain religion, a particular sense of humor, and a certain body type, even a desire for finger nails and toe nails to be shaped in a familiar way. Hair color and texture can matter. The sounds they make when they eat food or sip liquids. What they look like when they are about to bust a gut from laughing so hard.

Forgiving What Doesn’t Meet Our Expectations

In the beginning, whatever doesn’t meet your expectations falls under the grace of forgiveness. We forgive a lot of flaws in our partner when love is new. We are frequently forgiving because even as the peculiar laugh irritates, we are ashamed to find ourselves repulsed by our beloved. We extend ourselves past the uncomfortable feelings our expectations present because this person makes us feel seen, loved, and whole as no one else has before. How can we find flaws in someone with such godlike gifts of seeing, loving, and healing? Besides, he or she has the same experience of you! As a godlike creature in his or her life, how can you be so little as to have a problem with those pinky toes that lie sideways?

As time goes on and the honeymoon feelings fade, the little irritations get larger. Suddenly you are faced with a host of expectations you didn’t even know you had to meet that agenda of being right and looking good. This phenomenon is irritatingly predictable. It is based on the ties of loyalty that bind us to those who came before the romantic partner. If your family had a thing against redheads and the man you now love is a redhead, those wires are eventually going to cross. Because of loyalty, they are likely to cross with your beloved and make sparks there rather than between you and your family.

Having The Courage To Accept The Little Things Again…And Again

Truly accepting your beloved when you are forced to face the little repulsions that show up takes courage. You have to be brave to, even inside yourself, turn to your family and previous friends and choose your lover all over again. I mean, it really is silly to dislike his “outie” belly button just because no one in your family ever had one. It is also silly to cringe at her strong opinions just because your mother kept hers to herself. Many of these things you now have trouble with, you may have loved in the beginning just because in the face of those differences you felt such intimacy and vulnerability sharing them.

I have stumbled upon a cure for this phenomenon that threatens to undermine how close you feel to one another. The cure will renew a right spirit between you, fan the flames of the chemistry you still share, and make you long for each other’s company like in the old days.

Curiosity As A Cure

The cure is curiosity. Think back to a time when you were curious about something, anything. Wasn’t your mind open as a result? Didn’t it make a difference in your attitude and actions? For instance, you’re walking in your favorite park when out of the corner of your eye you spot something orange moving in the grass. You’re curious. You stop to look more closely. The orange is fuzzy and striped with white and darker shades of orange. Someone abandoned kittens in the park! If your curiosity remains heightened, your time in the park ends with scooping them up, taking them home, and having to decide whether to keep them or find them good homes.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who wasn’t your “type?” Your “type” didn’t change. Your curiosity kicked in and you found yourself responding to someone’s mind, sense of humor, or kindness for a change. He or she felt like home and, with your curiosity heightened, you gave the possibility of love a chance.

Have you ever received horrible service at a restaurant, determined to leave a lousy tip to clearly send a message of your disapproval while contemplating confronting your server? Then you overhear a conversation between your server and the manager and you realize she has had a hell of a day. Your curiosity takes what you heard further and wonders just how bad a day it might have been. Next time she visits your table, you go out of your way to be friendly and kind, receiving a tentative smile from her. You decide to leave a big, fat tip in the hopes it will turn her day around. Curiosity made that shift happen.

Learning To Truly Love Through Curiosity

Curiosity makes positive shifts happen for lovers as well, restoring the romance and fanning the chemistry. The next time he’s talking a mile a minute and it’s all about him check the annoyance and ask yourself, “What’s he so excited about? This thing he’s talking about must be really important to him.” Let your curiosity take over. You will find yourself engaged in his conversation and, eventually, the conversation will come back around to you.

With those funny pinky toes of hers that lie at an awkward angle, wonder to yourself what they must have looked like when she was an infant and at least two people thought she and all ten of her toes were perfect. Your mind and heart will open and it will no longer matter that your last girlfriend had beautiful feet! The intimacy of loving this woman will win and you will too.

Curiosity opens the mind and the heart to new possibilities. Try applying it to your beloved and watch the passion rise!

Men show their love for their women differently than women show their love for men. If we women could really grasp this fact, relationships all over the world would improve.

How Women Love

Women show men they love them in warm, mushy ways. We talk to our men, we share everything, and we provide nurture and support. We want to be romanced because romantic touches are how we say, “I love you.” Men are very different and we know this already. The problem is we have spent centuries judging them for it instead of receiving it as the display of love it is. So when our new man gets past the courting phase, becomes solidly committed to us, and the romance begins to fade, we join the legion of sisters who complain about how he just doesn’t measure up to our ideal of what a real man is and how a real man loves.

Let me tell you, at this point the relationship is doomed and it ain’t his fault! Complements of Steve Harvey, let me share how a real man loves and see if you can’t begin to look at your fellow through a kinder lens and a heart warmed by just how very much he actually does let you know he loves you.

How A Man’s Love Is Different

There are three ways a man clearly and definitively shows his love and affection for his lady. The first thing a real man does when he knows he loves you and is ready to commit to the relationship is he professes who you are in his life. He calls you “his lady,” “girlfriend,” or “romantic partner.” He calls you by a special name with his words and with his body language. You can see it in the eyes of the folks in his world you are introduced to. You see that spark of recognition that this one (you) is different from the other women he has introduced to them. His claim on you is obvious.

Once he is ready to take the relationship to the next level, he may no longer be interested in midnight conversations that go on for hours. He doesn’t want to be treated like your best girlfriend. The profession he makes about you is significant for him and, if you are aware of its meaning, it can be significant for you too. In fact, it can be a big turn on.

The second thing a real man does when he knows he loves you and is ready to commit to the relationship is he provides for you. Now, not every man has the means to buy you expensive things, but to the degree he is able, he will provide for you. One of the examples Steve uses is if you have car trouble and ask him for help, he will do everything within his power to assist you in getting it fixed. One man might be able to afford to replace the car while another gets his cousin who is a car mechanic to fix it. Either way, the man is in love and providing. Every single weekend might not produce a romantic outing, but in any way he sees he can physically provide for you and is able, he will.

So, for instance, one year my husband provided me with a big, fancy digital camera and a printer to print the photographs I would take. He knew I was wary of making the switch from film to digital. He knew I needed to be provided with a really good camera and what is essentially a dark room to make the switch as convenient and delightful as possible. With these gifts he provided for me the means to enlarge my life and my creative expression. It was a deeply romantic gesture.

Accepting His Own Displays Of Love And Affection

The third thing a real man does when he is head over heals in love is he protects his woman. No one is allowed to hurt, insult, or disrespect her. He will not be able to tolerate her life or her spirit being in danger.

In my own experience, I have observed two important things about a man’s desire to protect his woman. The first is he will attempt to protect her from herself. This is why a man can become infuriated with some of the choices his woman makes because, as a man with his logical thinking, he could have told her this or that choice would be a mistake. How could she have put the woman he loves most in the whole world (herself) in harm’s way?

The other thing I have observed is that a real man in love will sacrifice himself to protect you from himself, if you require it. If you cannot abide him being who he is, expressing himself as a man, he will shrink inside, becoming less effective as a lover and as a partner as he attempts to protect you from him. This will not last indefinitely. Finally, the pressure to express himself as a man will rupture and you will lose him. If you find you are no longer invested in exploring the marvelous mystery he is, you might take a look at whether or not you really love him. Because asking him to stifle his masculinity is the beginning of the end.

Whether you are looking for Mr. Right, have found him, or are afraid you are losing him, knowing how a man shows his love to his woman gives you valuable information for figuring out where he is coming from and where he is going. It can also open the floodgates of gratitude and passionate love making as you learn to quit castigating him and instead appreciate his unique expressions of love!

I have a different view of what’s romantic and I suspect any woman in a relationship for any length of time would agree. Of course, flowers, dinners, vacations and jewelry are lovely but they don’t necessarily speak to women’s three most primary needs in a relationship as described in John Gray’s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

Having worked with John for many years and having become intimately knowledgeable with the Mars Venus concepts by virtue of my job, I had several aha! moments when I learned what they the three primary love needs were for a woman.

I am in total agreement with John Gray that women need most to be cared about, understood and respected. He suggests that “when a man responds to a woman in a way that acknowledges and prioritizes her rights, wishes and needs, she feels respected”.

A man can not care, not try to understand and not respect a woman at all, and still buy flowers and think that’s romantic. It won’t cut it, guys. So, following are 10 romantic tips in no particular order of importance that will make any woman happy and show her that you care, that you try to understand her and that you acknowledge and make important her rights, wishes and needs.

Remember to do the things you promised to do – without being reminded.

When my husband remembers that he promised to fix the blinds on the weekend and goes to Home Depot to buy what he needs, comes home and fixes the blinds just as he said, I feel this as an expression of love and caring. He knows that I like the house to look nice and things to work; I feel he understands and respects my desire to have it so.

Surprise her with something you know she wants – big or small.

This is such a big deal to me that I still remember when my ex-husband came home from work one day when I was pregnant with my first child 42 years ago with a balsa wood model airplane because I had said sometime in the past that I never had one.

I remember it as perhaps the sweetest, most romantic thing he ever did for me in the 19 years we were together. He occasionally brought me flowers but it didn’t make up for all his bad, uncaring, disrespectful behavior during the relationship.

Care about how she dresses.

My husband cares about what I wear, not from a critical or fault-finding perspective, but rather from an honest, loving interest in how I want to look and how I can look my best. It’s not about a compliment although heartfelt compliments are nice.

It’s that he knows that how I look is important to me and he cares to honor that. The way he makes me feel special and complimented is by telling me that how I look will make other men envy him.

Notice when she gets a haircut or changes her hairstyle.

I love that my husband always notices when I change my hair. It means he is really seeing me and paying attention not just used to me and making me become part of his exterior flow of things seen but not noticed like how the neighborhood looks.

Choose to spend time with her when she needs to do mundane things and you could be doing something more important or more fun.

When I do errands on the weekend, my husband often comes with me just because he says spending time with me is an adventure. I love that! I enjoy his company and even feel cared about. He could easily stay home and correct his student’s papers but instead he chooses time with me.

Pay attention to anything she creates – from cookies to a book she may write.

I feel so seen and important when my husbands listens to or reads everything I write. And I write a lot. I feel like I am the best, most creative person he ever met – and it feels good. And, he even was excited about the quiche I made a few weeks ago.

Look her in the eyes and tell her what inner qualities you love about her.

Oh, she likes to hear you think she’s hot, but watch her light up when you tell her you love how she always seems to attract the nicest friends or she is the best mother or you can’t get over how organized she is in all the family paperwork and even in her thinking.

Join her – even a bit – on her quests for self-improvement whether it’s a diet or exercise program or a self-help journey.

When I want to lose some weight and I give up half and half in my coffee and my husband joins me in doing that even though he doesn’t need to lose any, I feel his support for what I’m doing and I know he wouldn’t want to have something I particularly love, when I am choosing to forgo it.

Make her feel that you would rather spend time with her than anyone else.

Need I say more?

Show care and concern for those she loves, too.

I happen to have four adult children, their three partners and two grandchildren in my family. When my husband keeps saying how much he wishes my daughter didn’t move out of our neighborhood, it’s hard to explain how I feel. It’s a complex feeling made up of love, appreciation and shades of many other things.

Which leads me to tell you that when you do these 10 romantic things for her, the benefits to you will be beyond your wildest dreams.

That quote speaks to every man and every woman in every place and time!  The worlds’ greatest love stories, from the brilliantly successful ones to the dismally tragic ones, come down to the yearning to love and be loved in return.

Loving and Being Loved

In every love story, there is a quality to the relationship that is defined by how each person deals with his or her own yearning to love and be loved.

Some of us have a stronger desire to love than to be loved.  We pour ourselves out on everyone we love with abandon.  We are supportive and nurturing, even if we risk suffocating the object of our affection.  We may pour out our love in bold, brash, even bullying ways.

I am thinking of men who only need a hint that something is wrong and then swoop in to fix the problem, their loved one, and the people involved!  This also brings to mind women who turn into protective mother bears when their loved ones (cubs) are threatened.

Others who are more committed to loving than being loved show their support and nurture by being submissive, following their lover wherever he or she leads.  Even if it is to a dark place, the supportive, nurturing, I-am-totally-there-for-you individual loves the risk of loving no matter the cost.

A Stronger Desire to be Loved

Then there are those of us with a stronger desire to be loved.  As supportive as I think I am, sometimes my desire to be loved by my husband is so strong I embarrass myself!  When he is preoccupied with something, with steely focus accomplishing something, if I interrupt and thereby incur even a slight dismissal, the pout that forms on my lips is telling!

In an instant, it is all about me and my needs and desires. If I were truly one of those supportive types, wouldn’t I have seen and appreciated his preoccupation with whatever he was accomplishing?

Managing my desire to be loved and choosing to sometimes follow my yearning to love, as a priority over my yearning to be loved, is simple enough.  It can be heartbreaking to watch someone completely sabotage their relationship because nothing can satisfy the hunger for proof that their lover loves them beyond all others!

Sabotaging the Relationship

Of course, the supportive, nurturing lovers can sabotage their relationships too.  Smothering love can snuff out love, shocking the supportive individual with the level of resentment the recipient of their love feels towards them and all their loving attention!

Yet, the “yearning to love and be loved is at the heart of who we are.”  At some point in your life, I hope you were your mother’s and father’s beloved infant.  Mothers and fathers do their best.  Sometimes their best is brilliant, sometimes it is good enough, and other times it is barely adequate.

Relationship With Caregivers

Whatever your relationship with your primary caregiver; when you were an infant, someone answered your call and met your needs.  That person was an extension of you, as far as you were concerned, and when she or he was answering your needs and desires, it was as if the two of you were one.

When we fall in love with someone who falls in love with us, we see each other in a way that feels familiar.  Falling in love is the closest we come to “mother love,” that love that answers all our needs.  Even if the timing isn’t completely right; the need is answered by this person, this mother or father, who completes us.

Yearning for Love

I imagine the first time we feel the yearning to love and be loved happens the first time we realize our primary caregiver is, in fact, not an extension of us.  The distance between that person and us must be wide and terribly tangible.  Even if she is within arms reach, the sudden realization of the difference between us, of the boundaries that define each of us, must feel like a chasm.

Jump ahead twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years and the lover who reminds us of how it feels to be completed by another shows up without boundaries, longing to get as close to us as we will allow.  Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual closeness are aches easily filled by our new lover.  Nobody wants that honeymoon period to end.

The Honeymoon Period Has to End

The honeymoon period ends.  For some, the ache of what feels like separation might actually stir up grief.  For others, getting some boundaries back in place, letting friends and family back in to their own and the new life they have created with their new lover is a breath of fresh air!

In whatever way you deal with the yearning to love and be loved, use it to the best advantage of your lover and yourself.  When you feel the ache of it rising in your gut, let the ache grow.  Let it come up into your chest, around your heart and throat, and breathe through it, in and out.

Appreciate the gift of having someone in your life with whom you can satisfy that desire for connection.  Let it drive you to acts of love that delight, not smother…acts of love that might even give a person some space.

Use it to value your ability to love and be loved in return.  Use it to value his or her freedom to love and be loved in return.  Use it to remind you that you two are vulnerable to each other in a way no one else is and celebrate that reality in your own heart, with lovemaking, and with respect.  The quality of your loving will blossom into something even more beautiful than it already is!

This preference reflects a deep change in our collective human psyche, for it used to be that what lovers feared most was loneliness.  Now, being caught in a static or unsatisfying relationship is even more troubling.  Wanting to be together, to build a family, is no longer enough.

What Happened To The Game Of Love?

Just in the last couple of weeks, I have spoken with several people who have expressed this sentiment.  When I pressed the point and asked if they were to meet a compatible, kind and intelligent partner, would they truly feel like there wasn’t room in their life to accommodate them.

There was a brief pause, and then “I’m not sure” was as close as they would come to an opening.  Our modern age has made it is easier to be passionate and maintain passion about a pet or a favorite sports team, than a lover.  What has happened to the game of love?

Isn’t It The Play That Matters?

Memories of childhood games on late summer evenings remind me of what the game of love once meant to us.  As kids we understood that it was the play that mattered.  Winning and losing reflected their respective original meanings, which were “to desire” and “to be set free.”

Playing capture the flag in the dwindling light of the sky or a full neighborhood game of hide and seek was an apprenticeship in freedom.  Pretending was rich with excitement, as we all shared in the wonder of not knowing the outcome.  And yet we all knew that no victory was ever final, there was always tomorrow night.

Lovers in the past shared one secret; they knew that it wasn’t about winning or losing, it was the play that was essential.  Playing allows us to experience freedom from duty and necessity.  It is a primary condition of creativity and allows us the self-conscious delight of living out alternative realities.  It is what makes us so deeply human.

Playfulness Is Essential

Nowhere does this ring more true, than in our most intimate moments.  Adding playfulness to sexual desire invites new friends into the bedroom: imagination and fantasy.  Invite these allies to any passionate encounter with openness to play, a willingness to pretend, and the freedom to live in the wonder of not knowing the outcome.

Just Say Yes To The Game Of Love!

Saying yes to this game of love keeps life fresh and while it offers no guarantees of long-term winning, it does promise to share glimpses of what we all desire most of the magical influence of love.

Rewarding our instinct to love creates the self-confidence to transform a private secret to a public force with the power to renew life and transmute human defects into lovable qualities.  We are, after all, most lovable when we love.  Playing this game doesn’t guarantee a life without bruises or the happily ever after story that we all long for.

It will however teach you about all the many ways you can love, and love again…

You might be tempted to feel the situation out with your friend’s friends, or you might prefer the idea to keeping quiet. How do you approach your best friend if you have feelings for them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I really like this girl, I think I love her… But she’s one of my best friends and I don’t want to tell her about my feelings because I’m afraid that I will lose my friend. I told her friend about my feelings and I think she told her. Since then she’s gone all weird with me and doesn’t go out with me anymore. She always says that she’s busy or something. What should I do? Please help.

–Fizwan, England

The Friend’s Friends

Bouncing the idea of hooking up with your best friend off their friends’ might sound appealing. You get an opinion that is as close as possible to your best friend’s opinion without actually being their opinion. Sure, it sounds great but in reality, this plan tends to backfire the most. What usually happens is the friend never keeps it quiet and approaches your best friend with the info.

While that’s scary enough, the friend usually puts whatever spin on it they like, based on how they feel about you. If that friend dislikes you or thinks you aren’t a good match for her friend, your best friend might hear a convoluted story. It’s not always this way, but if you tell your best friend’s friend your feelings, you can pretty much guarantee that your best friend will hear about it too.

Keeping Quiet

Risking losing your best friend over your feelings might sound like it’s too much to handle and it might be tempting to just stay quiet rather than risk the end of the friendship.  Sure, if you stay quiet, you won’t risk losing your best friend over your feelings. But you might also be living an unfulfilled life.

What if you grow out of the friendship and end up going separate ways anyway, but you never got to tell your best friend how you felt? Think long and hard about whether you truly want to stay quiet. Make sure it’s a decision you really want to make.

Telling Your Best Friend

You might decide that you want to let your best friend know that you have romantic feelings for them. It takes some guts, but in the end, you might be better off. Just make sure to tell your friend directly how you feel instead of letting someone else do it for you. It’s much better when they hear it straight from you!

If your friendship ends over it, you might want to consider the fact that perhaps your friendship wasn’t meant to be in the first place. Who knows though, your friend could secretly be nursing a crush on you as well!  The only tried and true way to find out if you can make a relationship work with your best friend is talking to them, one on one.

Take It Slow

If you end up being lucky enough to start a romantic relationship with your best friend, you might want to take it slow. Don’t skip the dating process just because you already know each other well.

This might cause you to move to fast and end up crashing and burning later down the road. Take the time to get to know each other in a different way. You might be surprised at how much new things you learn about your best friend!

So how do you know for sure if you’re on the way to a relationship rather than just hooking up? You face what you are actually getting from your man.

So how do you take steps to make sure you are actually on the way to a relationship and not just his latest fling?

Here are 5 ways to know for sure!

5 Signs that you are just his fling!

1. Your man excludes your name when he talks about future events. Or he regularly talks about his future plans as “I will be doing this,” rather than “we will be doing this.”
2. You haven’t met any of your man’s close friends or family members. If he’s not showing you off, he’s hiding you.
3. You only see each other late at night or in private. If you mostly see your man at his place or late at night, then you are a secret affair and most likely there is another woman in the picture.
4. Your man rarely calls you in advance. And when he does call it’s to get together immediately or the same day. If he’s calling you at the last minute you are far from his first choice!
5. You man is only interested in sex. If your time together is nothing but rolling between the sheets and he rarely asks you questions about your life and ambitions, then you are just a fling.

5 Signs he thinks of you as his girlfriend!

1. Your man regularly includes you in talk of future plans—be it a concert, vacation, company party or family event. If he discusses upcoming events in his life and talks as though you will be there, he considers you someone he is dating.
2. Your man has introduced you to close friends and family members. He is proud of you and enjoys involving you the lives of people important to him.
3. Your man takes you out on real dates where he is actually spending money on you and being seen with you in pubic.
4. Your man calls you often and asks you out at least two days in advance.
5. Your man actually asks about your life, goals and dreams then listens to your answers. If he is investing time in getting to know you more than trying to jump in your pants, then he is pursuing a relationship with you.

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

Words can’t bring me down–Christina Aguilera

My six-year old recently watched the movie/musical “Hairspray” and danced around the room to all the great 60′s styled tunes. Her favorite character: Tracy Turnblad! Who would have thought?

After being introduced to Barbie and Bratz dolls, who knew my daughter would think of Ms. Turnblad in the same way as her more shapely, thinner heroines?

But this is very good! Because for a culture obsessed in its need for thinner waif looking counterparts, Big Beautiful Women (BBW’s) are making it clear to the rest of the world they will neither be ignored nor marginalized.

The ideal

The fashion and entertainment culture for years have made it clear the only way people are attractive in the world is with the thin, athletic look. All you have to do is look at the entertainment business to see which look gets top billing. Look also at your magazines, billboards, and promotions in stores.

You’ve got to be thin, athletic, and not a speck of fat or flab on your body. No room for big boned girls because they don’t fit what beautiful or sexy looks like in our culture.

I remember growing up and into my teens and 20s viewing how BBW’s were treated in the public: disdain, repulsion, and degradation. There was no room at the inn for big girls because men and women were bombarded with “the standard” of beauty. But beauty had a cost too; if you wanted “the look” you will have to either starve yourself or purge your food from your body.

The ideal isn’t ideal

Too many BBW’s were left with the choice of starving, purging or exercising the weight off or be marginalized into a stereotype left on the outside looking in. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like (and sadly, is like in some cases today) where the pressure to be “beautiful” was great.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the clothing rack one day. Big Beautiful Women had enough!

They determined they were happy with who they were, how they looked, and would not take the forced determination of the fashion world—or society in general—telling them they couldn’t be sexy and beautiful just like the thinner girls. It would be up to these beautiful women to make a stand for themselves and tell their world they are beautiful in their own special way.

The new ideal

First came Emme, the most popular model to speak for a generation of BBW with clothing suited for them. Then, slowly, the fashion world took notice and realize the standard they put on them was too high a cost to a woman’s sanity. Along the way myths about BBW’s sexuality and vivaciousness shattered in a million pieces.

For me, I can attest some of the sexiest, beautiful, and charming women I’ve met and made love to are in this category. Why? Because I saw the beauty inside them and how they challenged my belief about what is a sexy image.

Plus,God said we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. The meaning “fearfully” in the passage is not the terror kind of fear, but a reverence (a nod) to a creator for making every shape and size his own. Just like we awe at the statue of David or glance at the Mona Lisa or marvel at the Pyramids, we marvel how God can create a unique person like the BBW’s of the world.

Why we need to change the ideal

Now there are many who have made BBW the fodder of late night jokes or the bane of the Al Bundy’s of the world. They made songs to try and keep BBW’s in their place telling the world they are not their “type” (Remember the song “I ain’t gonna bump no more with no big fat woman?”).

BBW’s are no joke and shouldn’t be treated as invisible women. Men should look at all women—every shape and size—with the same love and respect we in turn should expect from others. Heck, we shouldn’t be selective at all at whom we open the door to anyway. (See Luke 6:31-33)

One night we went to a lounge we frequent from time to time with friends of ours we know for a monthly get together. That night, the room was crowded with BBW’s and their dates for their annual party/dance night. Music coursed the room as these beautiful women of all sizes got up to shake their groove thing dancing with partners and husbands without a care.

They dressed sexy, flirted constantly with me (and other guys and gals), and didn’t give a care who saw them. They didn’t need to compete with the thin ladies out there, they were (are) happy with where they are at and God love them for being that way.

I’m sure Tracy Turnblad would be proud.

1.  Touch Them

Give your partner a hug, kiss, hold hands, snuggle or massage them.  Just be close.  Nothing is more powerful than the power of touch.

2.  Leave Love Notes and Poems

Write love messages and leave them throughout the house.  Send an email or text message to let your partner know you are thinking about them.  Leave a note on their car, in their pocket, under their pillow.  Buy a card or send a letter to them in the mail.  A little note or poem expressing your love will show your partner how much you care about them.

3. Food

They say "the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach," however this works equally well for women.  Express your love by cooking a surprise dinner and set the atmosphere with music, candlelight, and flowers.  Cook your partner’s favorite recipe.  You may also give your partner the night off by making reservations at their favorite restaurant. 

4. Plan a Date

Prepare a picnic, go for a walk, or plan an activity your partner loves.  Plan something special rather than just the standard dinner and movie.

5.  Hold eye contact with your partner’s eyes.

Gaze at your partner lovingly.  By maintaining eye contact with your partner, you show them that they are the most important thing on your mind at that moment.  Holding eye contact can increase your heart rate and creates a sense of unity and bonding.  

To learn more about Stephany Alexander, visit www.WomanSavers.com.