5 Ways to Survive Being Around Your In-Laws This Holiday Season
In an ideal world, both people use this communication tool together – but at least you can try to do your part to avoid getting dragged down the rabbit hole.
Remember that there are many people who will still try to drag you down there.
Simply smile and say, “I can see this is upsetting you,” or “I can see we’re not communicating well and I’m sorry about that – enjoy your coffee cake…” Do your best not to further engage in a conversation that will likely turn ugly, no matter how much active listening you attempt to use.
2) Stay Focused on Supporting Your Partner
Your mate is very likely aware of the pitfalls of his/her own family. It possibly has caused a lot of frustration, headaches and possibly heartaches in his/her own life.
For this reason, try to remain focused on supporting your partner. Many people believe that “family is family” and you accept them no matter what. The idea of being cut off from one’s family is sometimes more painful than just “dealing” with them. Stay tuned into how your partner’s feeling and be supportive – regardless if the idea that slowly scratching an ice pick down a chalkboard sounds more appealing than spending the evening with them.
3) Activate Your Personal Force Field
As “Star Trek-esque” as this sounds, this is a great self protection tool that only requires a little visualization.
If you have a lot of emotional reactivity that comes up around the idea of spending time with your partner’s family, the day of the planned meeting, begin imagining a force field that encircles you in a protective bubble and can be activated at any time.
This bubble is invisible to others but you know it’s there and has the ability to deflect negative energy, criticism, hostility and any other irritation that fits for your situation when it comes to your significant other’s family.
Make it an inside joke of your own – you could even whisper to yourself, “force field up” when it’s needed or just think it in your head. You might determine a particular spot on your body that is the activator button. As silly as this may sound to some, this type of visualization can be extremely useful – and the humor around it makes it an automatic stress reliever. Force field up!
4) Avoid Triangulation Between Family Members
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