5 Ways to Survive Being Around Your In-Laws This Holiday Season
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In an ideal world, both people use this communication tool together â but at least you can try to do your part to avoid getting dragged down the rabbit hole.
Remember that there are many people who will still try to drag you down there.
Simply smile and say, âI can see this is upsetting you,â or âI can see weâre not communicating well and Iâm sorry about that â enjoy your coffee cakeâŚâ Do your best not to further engage in a conversation that will likely turn ugly, no matter how much active listening you attempt to use.
2) Stay Focused on Supporting Your Partner
Your mate is very likely aware of the pitfalls of his/her own family. It possibly has caused a lot of frustration, headaches and possibly heartaches in his/her own life.
For this reason, try to remain focused on supporting your partner. Many people believe that âfamily is familyâ and you accept them no matter what. The idea of being cut off from oneâs family is sometimes more painful than just âdealingâ with them. Stay tuned into how your partnerâs feeling and be supportive â regardless if the idea that slowly scratching an ice pick down a chalkboard sounds more appealing than spending the evening with them.
3) Activate Your Personal Force Field
As âStar Trek-esqueâ as this sounds, this is a great self protection tool that only requires a little visualization.
If you have a lot of emotional reactivity that comes up around the idea of spending time with your partnerâs family, the day of the planned meeting, begin imagining a force field that encircles you in a protective bubble and can be activated at any time.
This bubble is invisible to others but you know itâs there and has the ability to deflect negative energy, criticism, hostility and any other irritation that fits for your situation when it comes to your significant otherâs family.
Make it an inside joke of your own â you could even whisper to yourself, âforce field upâ when itâs needed or just think it in your head. You might determine a particular spot on your body that is the activator button. As silly as this may sound to some, this type of visualization can be extremely useful â and the humor around it makes it an automatic stress reliever. Force field up!
4) Avoid Triangulation Between Family Members
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About the author: To learn more about Lisa Brookes Kift, visit The Therapy and Counseling Blog.
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