Sexual tension between a man and a woman can be a good thing.  However, sometimes we get stuck and the tension in the relationship mounts to dangerous levels.  There is a secret to the cease-fire in the war between the sexes.  Read on to discover what it is! 

What Causes The Tension

Recently my husband installed a new mailbox for me.  It is beautiful, as mailboxes go!  However, within a week, the handle broke!  Held to the door of the mailbox with two screws and bolts, one of the screws went missing and my beautiful mailbox looked ugly with its handle hanging sideways.

He talked about how to fix it but he didn’t fix it because he had to go on a business trip.  After all, the handle still worked, it just looked funny.  So, while he was gone, I fixed it!  I had paid attention to how he would fix it and decided to do it myself.  Then the next time I had him on the phone, I bragged about it.

Was he proud of me?  Was he relieved there was one less item on his to do list when he got home?  I don’t know.  What I heard was him exclaim, “You don’t need me!”

Resentment Leads to a Breakdown in Relationships

Now between the two of us at this point in our relationship, that was playful teasing.  For some, however, that would have been a real criticism offered.  For others, it would be something felt but not spoken, with another layer of resentment piled on. 

He would resent her for disrespecting his ability and need to take care of it himself and she would resent him for his unspoken disappointment in her.  In addition there would be the guilt and shame of something so simple and seemingly inconsequential causing a breakdown in the relationship.

How This Can Ruin a Relationship From the First Date

Now that’s a lot of heaviness associated with which of you takes a little screw and bolt and fixes the handle on a mailbox.  But it is a reality for a lot of couples.  For some, it has been such an intense reality in previous relationships that it can show up on a first date and ruin the chances of a budding relationship.

Just Listen!

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