Signs of Abuse

Do you feel like you have to “walk on eggshells” around your partner?  Are you afraid a lot of the time in your relationship?  Is your self esteem being slowly eroded?  It’s possible you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Emotional abuse can sometimes be a tricky thing to identify for those in the situation because often the abuser employs tactics that make the other person feel like they’re going crazy.  Abusive people will dominate conversations so that the other has little time to decide if the behavior is harmful. 

There’s often a pervasive sense of being off balance for the person being emotionally abused.  They start to question their own thinking and eventually believe that they must have it wrong and in fact, they’re the bad ones for daring to believe such a thing about the abuser!  We call this “crazy-making” because that’s precisely the impact it has on the receiver.

In my own practice I’ve seen couples come in where it’s pretty obvious this is going on.  I’ve seen men and women in emotionally abusive dynamics with their partners.  I’ve witnessed people literally verbally “shut down” their partner – and the other one shrink away right before my eyes. 

Part of the problem for people who are being emotionally abused is they often don’t realize it.  Their self-confidence has been whittled down to a nub. 

Could you be in an emotionally abusive relationship? 

Ask yourself the following five questions – which are also signs you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship:

1)  Does your partner frequently criticize or humiliate you?

2)  Does your partner isolate you from your family and friends?

3)  Has your partner ever limited or controlled your access to money?

4)  Do you feel trapped in your relationship?

5)  Are you afraid of your partner?

The Cycle of Abuse

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