What’s really going on?

The thing is, John still blamed his wife for her horrid behavior, even though he rescued her from the consequences of it.  His anger and resentment built over the years for all he had “protected” her from. 

Eventually he left her, taking the children with him, and felt righteous about having done so.  After all, she had been such an abusive person.

Now, I’m not saying she wasn’t abusive.  What I am saying is that the cycle of abuse happens in an environment of blame.  John perpetuated the blame and while he may have protected his children to some degree, he also left them without a mother because he failed to see her behavior as a cry for help. 

As Randy reached for the third doughnut he laughed at himself.  What is going on here? I’m acting like a child.  Then he recognized that his mother had tried to control his eating, and what his wife did was trigger a memory of that.  He laughed at himself and told his wife he was sorry for reacting like a rebellious teen.

Janet reached over and gave Jerry a hug.  Her lips trembled as she told him how hurt she was feeling and how his comment had made it worse. 

Jerry was defensive at first, but then looked at the pain in her eyes and told her he was sorry, that he didn’t mean to hurt her. Then he talked about how jealous he was of the time she spent away from him.

Lisa eventually got it that Greg was not really upset about her getting her hair done, but that his insecurity over her having had an affair a year before had kicked in and he couldn’t stop himself. 

Lisa became tearful as she apologized for scaring him that way. She recognized that his behavior was not really as irrational as it appeared.

When we step out of blame; the potential for empathy is endless.  

To learn more about Melody Brooke, visit OhWowThisChangesEverything.com.

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