Comments on: Balanced Relationships: You, Me and We

By: Igor

Igor — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 15:54:16 +0000

I understand the logic in your arguement, however, i’m not sure the two circles of two people are the same size. In a relationship where one person’s ego is larger than the partner, the ego-centric portion of the circle will be much larger. Hence, even though both couples are interlocking the proportion of me for the ego-centric person will significantly larger than the other person’s me. At some point the person with lesser “me” will become alienated and and jealous of the other. This will cause the person with the lesser “me” to increase their ego to match and therefore increasing the size of their circe. The net result will be the overall proportion of “me” to “we” will increase and the connectedness of the couple will become diminished. Also, the person who originally had the larger proportion of Me to Me will likely become more egotistic and their circle will grow to renew the proportion of the original Me to Me balance. Hence it becomes a vicious circle and the proportion of we becomes miniscule…and the relationship ends. Only through the reduction of egos can the circles be brought to harmonous balance and achieve the equilibrium state that you describe as healthy. The net is it is important for people to have similar egos entering a relationship and the maturity and communication to counteract the natural tendency for people’s ego’s to get out of control.

By: Speak Sexy

Speak Sexy — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 10:20:32 +0000

I love the way this article lets you visualize the relationship dynamic. I think this split between “you,” “me,” and “we” is certainly one of the hardest things for a couple to work out – not only in the beginning of the relationship, but also as other factors (new jobs, children, etc.) disrupt and force changes to occur throughout their lives together. Children in particular seem to be a big challenge, with many couples focusing “too much” on the children and not enough on the “we.” In a way children are a whole other ring unto themselves that need to be added to the two already existing/overlapping rings. Now add two, three, four children to the equation and it’s easy to see how couples just drift apart without realizing it…

By: Deborah

Deborah — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:33:36 +0000

No truer words have ever been said. You have to keep the relationships – both between you and your love, and you and your friends – alive. I’m reading this ebook that focuses on improving the relationships and intimacy between loved ones, but I realize now that it could also be applied to friends, sans the sex and love-intimacy bit.