1. Check your ego
   Fights and arguments are caused by the ego – your ego’s need to "win", to "be right". That’s how a simple disagreement or a regular conversation turns into a screaming match. He says something hurtful, she says something hurtful back, then you have to say something even more hurtful, and so on. It just gets dumber and dumber. Really. As an argument progresses, the collective IQ between the two people drops dramatically – at least is seems that way to an outside observer.
2. Never use the word "You" to start a sentence in an argument
   Keep it about YOUR feelings, and never accuse the other person of what they did or should do. The moment you start saying "you did this" or "you said that", the other person gets defensive, and all intelligent conversation ends on the spot. Game over.
3. Agree to disagree
   This is one of the most important relationship secrets EVER. Here’s an amazing tip: you will NOT be able to convince everyone that you’re right on ANY topic. Fact is, we’re all individuals, and we see everything at least a little differently from each other. And that means, we’re occasionally going to disagree. The ego of course hates disagreement, so you end up fighting with people you disagree with and trying to ‘convince’ them why your perspective is obviously the right one. But how about this – respect others for their viewpoints and appreciate your differences, and move on. You don’t really have to change anyone’s mind about anything.

Here’s a question from a young lady in Pennsylvania trying to understand this very thing…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

When an argument occurs, more times than not, a guy will say "I need space".

Is there a deeper meaning to "I need space"? Is he going to break-up with me? He was really angry when he told me this.

– Cris, Pennsylvania

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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