Financial Infidelity As An Addiction
How financial addiction can threaten your relationship
Just as an individual may turn to an illicit love affair to provide the biochemical feelings of connection and experience the thrill of a new romance, over and over again, so, too, they may turn to risky financial behavior for stimulation. Even if they stop the love affair, they may not have the self-control to stop the risky financial behavior.
The reason is that the behaviors that stimulate these feelings can easily become addictive. For instance, for any addict, the choice to self-medicate in any number of ways—with alcohol, medications, sex, or money—can begin with a desire to relieve stress or mute depression.
The addiction then progresses to a preoccupation with where their next “fix” will come from, and often involves a strong desire to create rituals around obtaining the “high.” This preoccupation becomes a compulsion—to use drugs or alcohol, or to have sex, or to shop—followed by depression and despair as the effects wear off, leading to the start of the cycle all over again.
Joseph Frascella, director of the Division of Clinical Neuroscience at the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), defines addiction as “repetitive behaviors in the face of negative consequences, the desire to continue something you know is bad for you.” The three most common types of “habits” that can slide into “addictive behavior” that I see in relation to financial infidelity are gambling, binge spending, and hoarding.
Two million adults are thought to be pathological gamblers. Another four to eight million are considered “problem” gamblers. A
The individuals that are prone to gambling and binge spending may also seek to take risks in a socially appropriate way by working in a high-stress, thrill-intensive job such as a Wall Street trader, a surgeon, or a courtroom attorney. The buzz from their victories is usually immediately followed by a new stressful situation and a chance to professionally “gamble” so that they can triumph yet again.
Other people may exhibit financial infidelity as a result of transference. In psychological terms, transference refers to the redirection of feelings, fears, or emotions onto a new object or situation.
To learn more about Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, visit www.DocBon.com.
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