Perhaps it is because I don’t have a daughter to give advice to, but sometimes I think back to the girl I was in my teens and twenties and long to give her the counsel I now have available from this forty-something perspective. Yesterday, I ran across something a man wrote that captures advice I would give. I think the advice strikes a more golden chord because it comes from a man. So, I want to share it with you today.

You Deserve It!

If you are a woman reading this, do pay attention because you are worthy of this counsel! Whether you are single or in a relationship, you deserve to be treated with care, love, and adoration. In a word, you deserve to be cherished. If you don’t know this about yourself, you may be in the habit of acting out in ways that get you disrespected and abused. Or you may be in the habit of surrendering to disrespect and abuse because you don’t value yourself enough to insist on better treatment. The advice I am about to give through a poem a man wrote is best received the better you love yourself.

If you are a man reading this, the advice I will quote from this man is like a magic key. You treat the woman you love this way and, if she loves herself enough, she will respond in such a way that you might feel you don’t really deserve her. But if you treat her this way, you do deserve her! Just keep on loving her.

What Kind of Man
By Colin Martin

Find a man, who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the man, who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
Who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on.

A man who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
And how lucky he is to have YOU.

A man who turns to his friends and says, “That’s her…”

Why Do People Get Into Relationship Trouble?

The number one reason people get into relationship trouble is because they do not love themselves enough to have standards of behavior that protect them from being hurt. People who love themselves command respect. It doesn’t mean they never get hurt. But attracting abuse and chronic hurt either doesn’t happen or doesn’t occur for very long with those who love themselves. Their love runs deep enough that they are able to practice the tough love that sets good boundaries. They are able to practice the tough love that sets good examples for how to live and love.

Think about Colin’s poem today. If you are a man, does it apply to your marriage or romantic relationship? If you are single, can it apply to you the next time you fall in love? And will it apply six months, a year, six years later?

If you are a woman, can you believe down to your pretty toes that you are deserving of such affection? When you believe it, you will attract it.

I’m raising my glass in cheers to you, hoping it is so.