High School Sweethearts: Is It Meant to Last?

It’s happens all the time. High School Sweethearts go off to college. Usually, they go off to different colleges and that ends it pretty quickly.

But what happens when they actually go to the same college and see each other every day?

It may be more difficult to break it off, but as people grow and mature, especially at that age, they tend to go their separate ways. And that’s OK. It’s almost expected.

There are occasions where they stay together and live happily ever after, but that’s not the norm.

For young couples in this situation, the important thing is not to focus so much on the ever after and enjoy the time spent together today, in the present.

Don’t rush into marriage too quickly. There’s no reason for it. You can always get married later if you choose to do so. Being together is not all about marriage, and it’s not always meant to lead to marriage.

Many people just see marriage as a safety net – a way to "lock in" that relationship permanently before it gets away. Signing a marriage contract won’t make you closer. But getting married too soon in any relationship will usually lead to a lot of heartache and often an even more painful breakup.

Open and honest communication is critical. One may worry about the other’s happiness and make foolish decisions just to keep from hurting their best friend. Talk about your relationship frequently at this age because both of you are changing and growing so much all the time.

What may have been a valid assumption about your relationship in January may no longer be true in June. It’s not that the other person is fickle or confused. The ages between 18 and 27 are the years when a teenager becomes and adult and truly discovers who they are. They come out of their shell so to speak.

In many cases, this means leaving behind old friends and lovers, including your High School Sweetheart. Not because they’ve done anything wrong… You’re just growing and changing in different directions.

While it may hurt to break of the relationship, if you are honest with one another, five years from now, you’ll probably still be friends because of the trust and friendship you’ve developed. If you lie and hide your feelings, you’re more likely to lose the relationship all together.

If you’re not sure that you want to continue the relationship – maybe you want to experience life and see what else is out there… Talk about it with your partner and explain your feelings. Let him or her know that it’s not about them. Make it about you.

In reality, two things could happen — you could be completely honest and find out that your partner feels exactly the same way – so you decide to just be friends, or your relationship may grow even closer because of your honestly and move to the next deeper level.

The important thing to remember is that the decision to stay together or to move on should be a mutual decision made by the two of you together. 

Dan and Jennifer are the Founders and Senior Editors of AskDanAndJennifer.com, which has been called "the best and most popular Love and Sex advice column on the Internet today". Their videos are some of the most popular videos on YouTube. Don't forget to ask your dating, love, and sex questions in the Ask Dan and Jennifer - Love, & Sex Forums. You should Fan Dan & Jennifer on Facebook and Follow them on Twitter!

Take A Fun Sex Quiz

"Think You Understand Female Orgasms?"

Take The Orgasm Quiz And Find Out The Top 25 Female Orgasm Tips That You Can Use Tonight To Make Her Scream For More.

   

"Think You Know How To Give A Great Blow Job?"

Take The Blow Job Quiz And Find Out The Top 25 Blow Job Tips That You Can Use Tonight To Make Him Scream For More.

   

Check Out These Helpful Resources You May Like...





See More Recommended Resources »

Comment Policy: Keep it positive and on topic. Comments will be promptly deleted if that are 1.) spammy (i.e. keyword like "dating tips" in place of your name, 2.) not related to this article, or 3.) in any way offensive or attacking to anyone. It's OK to disagree but it must be in a respectful and positive manner. Thanks!

  • The whole high school sweetheart thing has SO many ways to go wrong!!! (first hand experience hehe)
  • LadyKelien
    I married my high school sweetheart nearly 16 years ago now. Everyone is getting ready for prom here and my fond memories aren't of going to my senior prom but in planning a wedding. I wasn't going to get to go to prom anyway. My dad had lost his job just a few weeks before. But, I had my bear to fall back on. I always have my bear to fall back on. We have 6 kids. Hes my best friend. Hes always been my best friend. Its me and him until the wheels come off. And they can't come off. We went through all the stuff every couple does coming out of high school. He was away at college most of my Sr. Year. We did fight a lot during that time. But, at the end of the day when my phone rang as I was going to bed it was always him wishing me goodnight and tucking me in. When I got in from school the phone ringing was him. We spent our lives together not appart even when we were apart.

    We come from completely different backgrounds. I was raised republican he was raised democrate. My daddy was a church of christ preacher, his mom is luthern his day catholic. I grew up with both parents in the same house he had a father that never called and a step father that was always drunk. But, at the same time he was the Football/baseball star and I was the new girl who didn't deserve him. It didn't matter. When his mother tried to force him to pick between me and her it didn't matter. Its me and him till the wheels come off. Not everyone can have that. Heck not everyone can have an open marrage and survive either. We are the exception that proves the rule. Most high school sweethearts who go away to college won't survive. Those that get married straight out of high school will often end up divorced as soon as their kids are grown. Bear and I are intent on sticking this out and being together always because as my mother once said no one else could live with me but him. YOu couldn't ask for a better man, a better father, provider, or lover. He is all things to me. He can fill any role. And that is what keeps us together. We do that for each other and go out of our way to make sure its never boring. But, hey with 6 kids nothing is ever boring.
  • Joyce
    This is an interesting subject. My daughter is 16 and has been with her boyfriend for well over a year. I am not really thrilled with this, but he is an decent kid only a year older than her and very nice to be around; we like him. I just wish they wouldn't have gotten so serious at such a young age.

    Being a realist, I know that they very well may not be together in the future; my mom and sister sometimes make remarks to her about this which upsets my daughter and doesn't serve any purpose.

    Interesting fact though. Just this year I attended the wedding of two couples who married several years after college who have been together since their high school years. Also just this year, my husband's nephew and his wife, who have been married 16 years, had their first child (they' re in their late 30s)....they too were high school sweethearts...together OVER 20 years through college too! Oh yeah, his parents, still married after 38 years, were also high school sweethearts.

    I know other couples, relatives and friends of mine who seem to have solid relationships after decades together and have been together since high school.

    It happens, so in my daughter's case I just assume that he may be around for the long haul just as much as he may not be....no point in putting a negative spin on it like some do. I know the odds are against them, but as I mentioned; there are plenty who beat the odds.

    Some people say things like, "they'll never know who else may be out there.. how do they know they're 'the one'.?...why stick with the first person you go out with?..." That too is an unrealistic and unreasonable way of thinking.

    Maybe they just lucked out the first time and don't have to deal with the bad dates and horrible breakups that so many of us endure. I have one divorce behind me and a current 18 year happy marriage. I know what a bad relationship feels like. What I would have given to have met my current husband before I dated some (and married one) of the other guys. More relationships does not necessarily mean BETTER relationships for sure!

    Back to the boy in my daughter's life; he's s nice kid, they treat each other well and we enjoy having him around. If it works out in the long run, more power to them.
  • Natasha
    I have been with my boyfriend since we were 16, and we are now 21. When we started dating, I knew it was different than with any other person I had ever dated before. For the first time, I felt loved unconditionally. All of my fears and apprehensions were calmed by his stead-fast and caring nature. Every time I've felt worried or upset, I've had him to fall back on and his support to lead me on. Unlike a lot of couples I know, we don't hold each other back from our dreams. For example, my senior year of high school after we'd already been dating a year and were head-over-heals for each other, I was encouraged by my German teacher to apply for a year's paid stay in Germany. I applied for the scholarship, with all the encouragement in the world from my boyfriend, and got the scholarship. I then cried on his shoulder thinking about leaving him for a year, especially during such a turbulent, changing times in our lives like moving out and going to college. I knew I wouldn't be there to meet any of his new friends, see his dorm, or even essentially being a part of his new life at all. I worried I would lose him, or we wouldn't know each other when I returned. But from that tear-filled day I boarded that plane to Germany, all the way to when I returned home, I had his unconditional, unwavering love to lean on. It didn't matter that I hadn't been there to send him off to college, or befriend his new roommates, because the entire year he had introduced me to everyone through his webcam, and kept my senior picture as the centerpiece of his room all year. I don't know why I worried that we wouldn't know each other when I returned, because we had already been woven into one person. His woes were now my woes, and I cheered his achievements just as he cheered mine. Like I said, we are not 21 and now have an apartment together and have never been more in love. We're best friends and lovers, and have been fortunate to grow and change together, enriching each other's lives instead of complicating them. I know that no matter what changes, I have him as my constant. High school sweethearts are real, and we are the lucky ones :)
blog comments powered by Disqus