You know those juicy, exciting feelings you have in the beginning of a relationship? Well, our question is; Can we have those feelings after 25 years? Some of those dramatic feelings we felt at the beginning of our life together were based on sexual expectancy and the sheer fact of being seen so lovingly by this new person.

Two Kinds of Relationships

My husband and I have been together for 25 years. When I look around in the world at most people who’ve been together for many years I see one of two places the majority of couples end up.

Either they are “comfortable” with each other which means they fit like an old shoe and I imagine that he may come home and watch TV or read the sports section and she comes home and does her routine. They’re fond of each other but so are many brothers and sisters and long-term friends fond of each other.

The other extreme are those who are fed up with each other and living there own lives or thinking of divorce.

But we are in a third kind of relationship; a vibrant, healthy one. Some of what makes it healthy is the following:

Put Your Partner First

Being two mature adults with good self images, we have the flexibility to each know when we come first or when we need to put our partner first. For example, I like early morning but I never conceived of waking up each weekday by 4:15a.m. I always liked 5:30. Well, for the past four years my husband has taught high school and leaves the house before 6.

Since I want this older guy to live a lot longer, I prepare both a healthy breakfast and a healthy portable lunch. Also, since he comes home tired at the end of his long day, it has become our habit to connect over a cup of organic coffee before he leaves for work.

So although by putting him first I sacrifice my sleep, I do not feel resentful or like a martyr because he’s teaching so I can stay home and write and coach.

Tell the Emotional Truth Quickly….

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