Let me just get right to the point.  Having said it before, it bears repeating; confidence is the biggest, baddest, best turn on for both men and women.  The following quote from Marianne Williamson translates well for men too!

“If you’re single and would like a partner, you’ll only attract one when you’ve mastered the lessons of singleness.  Don’t ask how you can ‘get’ a man [or woman].  Ask how you can be the coolest woman [or man] in the world – and when that happens, you’ll enjoy the experience so much it won’t even matter whether men [or women] notice you or not.  Which means, of course, that they will.”

The Reality of the Difference Confidence Makes

Now I want to put an exclamation point after every one of her sentences to emphasize the juicy reality of the difference confidence makes whether you are attracting a mate or are presently in a romantic relationship.

Of course, we all want to fall in love or be in love with someone who is so warm and caring that we can drop our defenses and be truly vulnerable with this person.  That is a beautiful dream and can be a profound reality.

For the purpose of this article, though, let’s concentrate on the difference it makes when you remind yourself to be in that confident space that raises your sexual stock market value!

Remember When You Were Dating?

When you were loose and free in the dating world, what kind of people grabbed your attention as potential dates?  Mostly likely, no matter the hair color, body type, or personality, there was the common thread of confidence, genuine confidence radiating from them.  Not arrogance masquerading as confidence.

I am not talking about the man or woman daring you to approach so he or she could jerk you around.  I am talking about the ones who were comfortable in their own skin, able to make direct eye contact and conversation that included you.  Those people are attractive from the inside out.

If they show up in a body type or hairstyle you never found attractive before but now you can’t get enough of, it’s the confidence that allowed you to look long enough to see them!

Were You Lucky Or Just Needy and Clingy?

When were you luckiest out there in the dating world?  When you were needy, clingy, or wanting to be rescued?  I doubt it.  If you got lucky in that frame of mind, I imagine the results were not very pleasant and that it did not lead to a lifetime of romance.

I bet you were luckiest out there when you were feeling good about yourself and knew you had something awesome to offer to the right person!  Sometimes, weren’t you surprised to find connecting with people to be easy and natural even though you hadn’t put much attention on your outfit or getting your hair just right.

You could be unintentional about attracting the opposite sex yet find yourself successful in attracting them anyway!  Your unselfconscious, genuine confidence was working for you!

Getting Sloppy in Relationships

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