Rules to Make Sure You Talk About Money

Here are a few rules I set forth in my book to help make sure you talk about money, and to break its control in your relationship:

*Ask permission. You want the other person to be engaged in the conversation, so make sure it’s a good time for them, too. You should make an “appointment” for a specific time to make sure that the issue will be handled.

*Put time limits on the “fight.” It’s OK to walk away and come back later as long as it’s mutual and done with respect. Everyone has different thresholds for what they can tolerate during an argument.

*Use “I” sentences. Don’t blame or criticize.

*Echo what you hear and validate your partner’s feelings. Truly listen to the other person and let them hear you repeat their thoughts and concerns back to them. This assures them that you ARE paying attention and not just continuing with your “agenda.”

*Detach from your emotions. Try not to let your responses be emotional, but rather focus on the facts and the truth.

After a fair and productive fight, remember things that each person need to work on, and commit to trying to change the behaviors that may have created “money mistresses” or “pissed off purchases” in the past.

To learn more about Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, check out her latest book Financial Infidelity.

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