The Price You Pay

There is a price to mastering this one, however, and that is the extent to which you are asked to listen to her. There may be times when you invite her, politely and with warmth and affection, to quit talking so that you can share her intimate space without the words creating a distance between you.

As much as women want their men to know them and seeing how that involves a lot of verbal sharing, sometimes they need to be reminded that the pathway to your heart doesn’t happen between your ears! It happens in a more visceral, sharing personal space way. Reassure her that you want to hear it all.

Perhaps hearing some now and more a little later would be good. If you invite her to stop talking in order to get physically closer, let her finish her thought or that particular story anyway!

The more power a woman carries out in the world, the more challenged she might be to release it in order to be soft and receptive with you. This is a place where your leadership can shine.

Is Her Success Your Failure?

Finally, whether or not you perceive her success to be your failure is pretty much up to you. If your woman is in the habit of using her success to make you feel patronized, you may already be determining whether or not the relationship will continue. If you are in this situation, she may have good intentions without realizing how she communicates condescension.

In that case, she may be worth hanging onto while you take leadership and help her distinguish when her words and behavior are empowering and when they are disempowering. If she is mean spirited, though, I hope you will love yourself enough to communicate honestly with her and consider letting the relationship go.

Making Your Own Successes

However, if she doesn’t use her success to put you down, then whether or not it does is up to you. You may have friends who tease you about her success or who envy you for it. Sometimes it may be hard to tell the difference between the two. Men, who have had successful relationships with powerful women, have work or a career that is their own.

The first such man that comes to mind is Carl Dean, husband to Dolly Parton. She has said that one of the reasons their relationship has lasted so long and has been so rewarding is because they have their own interests. Carl not only has his own interests, he owns his own business. They’ve been happily married for forty-two years.

Successful, powerful women can be complex creatures yet beautiful to behold and an unending mystery to unfurl. They want to be loved as much as anyone.

If you’re lucky enough to have fallen in love with one, love her for her strengths, appreciate the vulnerability she only allows you to witness, and trust your own power and success rather than interpreting hers as your failure.

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