How to Resolve Relationship Difficulties Without Making Your Partner Wrong

  Pages:   1 2  

When you’re in a relationship with another person and you spend all, or most, of your time with that person, there are going to be things about them that you don’t like. In fact, they may even have some quirks that drive you absolutely insane!

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could bring up those concerns without it sounding like you’re nagging and without it turning into a full blown argument?

Here are some really great tips and suggestions that will help you talk about the things that drive you crazy without offending your partner and ruining a perfectly good day.

How to Resolve Difficulties Without Making Your Partner Wrong

by Marianne Torrence, Trainer and Facilitator, Copyright © 2007

You’ve read all about the #1 relationship mistake – putdowns or making your partner feel wrong or belittled.

It’s pretty obvious that is not going to help a relationship, but what happens if your partner is doing something that really upsets you and they have no idea that it’s happening? Do you have to just put up with it and keep quiet?

After all, if you mention it it’s going to seem like a putdown, right?

Well, actually, not necessarily. This is where you have to learn some skills, how to introduce the subject, warn your partner that there’s something that’s on your mind, and ask for them to be able to hear you out, if possible without reacting.

Sound like a tall order, right? Maybe. A lot of this depends on your partner’s self-esteem and ability to understand that YOU having a problem with something they are doing doesn’t mean they are wrong for doing it. It simply means that YOU have a problem with it. Period.

So another point – if you have managed to bring up this undisclosed issue and get it off your chest without causing an upset, it’s wise to not then get into trying to get them to change it. Because often just the fact of communicating it and getting it heard, understood and acknowledged can not only make it less of an upset or concern for you, but may bring about in your partner a willingness to change whatever it is or at least consider it. Especially if they don’t feel put down by the way you brought it up.

Obviously a lot depends on the magnitude of what your partner was doing that was getting you upset. There’s a fairly substantial difference between leaving the cap off the toothpaste and spending every night at the pub with the boys.

There is also a major distinction between complaining about something constantly – a.k.a. nagging – and bringing it up once as an issue to be communicated and looked at.

The fundamental of being able to deal with these issues is to establish some procedures and agreements for communicating about potentially disturbing or “hot” topics. One of the best ways to do this is to create a “frame” or “introduction” to be used to signal you have an issue to discuss that may be challenging or difficult to face.

Phrases that can work can go something like this… Continued on next page >>

Pages:   1 2  next >>

Have You Read These Related Stories?

•  Could Your Need for Control be Ruining Your Relationship?
•  Are You Playing The Blame Game? Do Any Of These Situations Sound Familiar?
•  Weathering the Storm - How to Survive Stressful Times Together
•  The Little Known Secret to Getting What You Want From Your Partner
•  Empathizing With a Wife Beater?

Check Out These Helpful Resources You May Like...

Looking for Sex with No Commitments? Did you know that Adult Friend Finder gets more visitors every day than Match.com and eHarmony combined? Read the story »

How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms... Do you believe your girlfriend or wife when she claims to have an orgasm? Here are some surprising facts... Read the story »

How to Approach Any Woman Without Fear of Rejection - Pick Up Secrets Exposed by a Woman How SHOULD a regular guy approach a woman to get her phone number, a date, a... Read the story »

How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More... Amazingly enough, many women have NEVER experienced an orgasm! Think about that for a minute... Read the story »

How Well Do You REALLY Know Your Partner? 1000 Must Ask Questions for Couples How compatible are you really with your partner? Down deep, where it really counts?... Read the story »

500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know Think back to your last date... after the date, and to that special, sensual part of the evening. Do you remember... Read the story »

Subscribe to AskDanAndJennifer.com today and get the latest Dating, Relationship, Love, and Great Sex content sent straight to your email inbox. Do it today so you don't miss a single article.

Or... Subscribe to Ask Dan and Jennifer via RSS