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How to Stop Resentment From Killing Your Relationship (Video)

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After being married for a while, many couples find themselves in a situation where one partner feels angry, hurt, and/or resentful toward the other.

They feel that they’re the only one who’s made sacrifices for the relationship, that they gave up their dreams, so that their partner could succeed.

Is it possible to overcome these feelings of resentment and move forward to have a loving and caring relationship?

Here’s a question from Jim in Michigan who’s trying to work through these feelings himself.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How do I stop resenting my wife for all the things I gave up for her to have all that she wanted?

–Jim, Michigan 

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

All The Things I Gave Up…

We often choose to ‘give up’ certain things in our lives for the ones we love.

They don’t force us to give them up, and because of this, it’s not fair to blame our partners, or anyone else, for the decisions that we make or for the things that we choose to give up.

Making sacrifices for those we love is a very admirable thing to do, and most of us do it because we want what is best for our loved ones.

Of course ‘give up’ is an interesting, and often misleading, phrase to use when referring to something in a relationship.

What ‘give up’ really means is that we’ve chosen to do something (or to not do something) in order to make our partners happy rather than to make ourselves happy.

Then we try to blame them because we’re unhappy with our decisions!

Parents are particularly notorious for this one, often saying things like, "All the things I gave up for you, and this is how you repay me!"

We did not ask our parents to change their lives or to give up their dreams for us, and yet many parents somehow blame their children for their own misery.

How Silly Is That?

We all make decisions every day that determine how we live our lives and whether or not we pursue our dreams - whether or not we’re happy.

Happiness is a choice. 

We are not victims of circumstance, though many of us would like to believe that we are. If we were victims of circumstance then we wouldn’t have to take responsibility for our own lives. How convenient…

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About the author: Dan and Jennifer are the Founders and Senior Editors of AskDanAndJennifer.com, which has been called "the best and most popular dating, love, and sex advice column on the Internet today". Their videos are some of the most popular videos on YouTube. Don't forget to ask your dating, love, and sex questions in the Ask Dan and Jennifer - Love, & Sex Forums.

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