On the other hand, if we actually do take responsibility for our decisions and our happiness, then we have to own up to the fact that we are ultimately responsible for our own misery as well.

Unspoken Expectations

What normally happens in a relationship is that the moment we make decisions for the good of our partners rather than ourselves we create certain expectations for how our partners will react as a result of our ’sacrifice’.

Essentially our partner’s positive reaction to our self-negating behavior is the very reason we make those kinds of decisions in the first place.

These ‘unspoken’ expectations can include all kinds of things – from a small recognition (such as a simple "thank you") to an overwhelmingly positive response (such as complete attitude change).

From our (the sacrificer’s) perspective, we’ve chosen to give up certain things or ideals so that our partners can have what we perceive they want and need.

Often times we don’t even ask our partners if this is what they want and what will make them happy!

So when our partners don’t respond in the way we expected them to, we get angry and resentful and wonder why they didn’t keep their side of the bargain.

That’s not really fair to them, now is it?

So rather than basing our happiness on our partner’s actions or reactions, we should take responsibility for own happiness starting right now.

Take Responsibility For Your Own Happiness

Here are some questions you should ask yourself.

What else will make me happy right now, in this moment?

Identify what’s missing from your life and what will really make you happy. This is not about your wife, your children, your boss, or anyone else. This is about you looking inside your own heart.

Don’t worry about what others might think or say. Ask yourself what would truly make you happy.

There’s a book called "The Passion Test", that can be very useful in helping you identify what’s missing from your life and what will really make you happy. I highly recommend purchasing this book and actually reading it.

The only way you’ll ever be happy with yourself, or be able to have a happy and loving relationship, is to own up to your own happiness – to take complete responsibility for it, and to recognize that true happiness starts from within.

YOU OWN IT!

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