Money In A Committed  Relationship

And if you’re in a committed relationship where you’ve had some of the more basic talks there are still ways that money conflict can manifest itself in ways you weren’t expecting!

“We can’t afford to go on vacation with your family (or our friends) again this year if they’re going to invite us as their guests, then make us pay for our share of everything.”

*You need to lay out expectations for big ticket items and expenses at the on-set. Together, decide what you can afford and if necessary inform the other party, and present it as a unified decision.

“Do you have to review my credit card bill each month?”

*The person asking this question may feel like a child in the relationship – always being checked up on.  Issues from childhood and the way the parents dealt with money/relationships aside, if the person IS feeling belittled, as a couple you need to work hard toward sharing the “power” of the checkbook.

One person shouldn’t feel like they’re less-informed or less-involved in the process. This can lead to contempt and revenge spending or  “POP shots” – pissed off purchases aimed at exacting revenge on the other person.

By being honest and respectful you can get through these dialogues and relationship transitions and grow with your relationship as it continues to change over time! More dialogues and instructions on dealing with financial life changes can be found in Dr. Bonnie’s new book, Financial Infidelity.

To learn more about Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, check out her latest book Financial Infidelity.

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