Well it should.

It is unlikely that any of us have gone through life without being involved in a situation like this.  The funny thing is, it doesn’t matter how “grown up” or “mature” you are, or how much “work” you have done on yourself.  All of us will, in the wrong situation, find ourselves acting like, well, madmen.  We are embarrassed about it later and have no clue why that situation brought us to such depths of reactivity. 

But that is how the brain works.  The feelings are intense because our survival mechanisms are our most primary drive. 

When we learn what makes up these cycles of behaviors and how to choose differently we can learn to make different choices.  It’s not easy, but its possible and it can make a huge difference in your ability to relate to those closest to you. 

Learning to see each other’s reactivity for what it is: survival reactivity, allows us to see the other person as a whole person and not just their behavior al reactivity.  It allows us to have the same empathy for ourselves and teaches us to be compassionate with all people.

We no longer have to hide behind protective barriers to prevent further wounding. because we understand what is happening inside the relationship and in our heads.  There is hope for those of us who think relationships are “not for them”. The way out involves deepening our understanding of others and ourselves and learning to develop the skills of respect, ownership and empathy.  While the concepts are simple, the process is anything but simple. 

Read more great articles from Melody Brooke. 

Featured Author, Melody Brooke, MA, LPC, LMFT is the author of "Cycles of the Heart: A way out of the egocentrism of everyday life", speaker, workshop presenter and counselor. She is also a Certified Radix Practitioner, Right Use of Power Teacher and InterPlay Teacher. Melody’s 19 years work with individuals, couples and families has provided her with a unique approach to solving clients’ problems. 

To find out more about InterPlay and "Cycles of the Heart" go to www.melodybrooke.com.

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