Comments on: Intimacy – I Give Up! http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/intimacy-i-give-up/ Love & Sex Videos, Tips & Advice from Ask Dan & Jennifer Sun, 21 Mar 2010 21:22:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: lem http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/intimacy-i-give-up/comment-page-1/#comment-30780 lem Sat, 22 Dec 2007 13:25:49 +0000 http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/relationship-advice/intimacy-i-give-up/#comment-30780 We-e-e-ell, about 10 years ago, I had a bad marriage end rather spectacularly. I was depressed, had PTSD, had 3 jobs, a nutball ex who was in and out of the picture and no support system. I was a mess. Eventually, I got a handle on stuff, got myself calmed down and moving along again in life. I went back to school, have a decent job, have almost finished raising my daughter and have a GREE-EAT!! relationship with a man whom I adore. Think that I would want to move in with or marry this guy that I have this great relationship with, right? Uhm-m-m., not necessarily. I think that I want my life to myself . I am 47 and no longer driven by the biological imperative to "have the relationship." For the first time since the age of 25, I will not have to consider others before I make a decision and I find the prospect very appealing. I am very comfortable in my own company and am not a particularly social personality. I have a social network of girlfriends and my sisters as a support system. Trying to construct a live-in or marital relationship at this late date in my life seem kind of futile to me. My marriage was an unmitigated disaster from which I don't think that I will ever fully "recover." Some part of me absolutely panics at the thought of living with another man. Intellectually, I KNOW that my current love isn't capable of this kind of behavior but some part of me would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Who needs to live with this kind of well, anxiety? I find that I don't have the energy. I just want to have a peaceful existence and the best way to do that is alone. There are other interests that I want to pursue and I don't want the responsibility of a live-in relationship. I find myself completely unwilling to take on any additional responsibility at all. My whole life, I have always been the "RESPONSIBLE PARTY," and always had to clean up the mess. Maybe its time to try something different this time around. We-e-e-ell, about 10 years ago, I had a bad marriage end rather spectacularly. I was depressed, had PTSD, had 3 jobs, a nutball ex who was in and out of the picture and no support system. I was a mess. Eventually, I got a handle on stuff, got myself calmed down and moving along again in life. I went back to school, have a decent job, have almost finished raising my daughter and have a GREE-EAT!! relationship with a man whom I adore.

Think that I would want to move in with or marry this guy that I have this great relationship with, right? Uhm-m-m., not necessarily. I think that I want my life to myself . I am 47 and no longer driven by the biological imperative to “have the relationship.” For the first time since the age of 25, I will not have to consider others before I make a decision and I find the prospect very appealing. I am very comfortable in my own company and am not a particularly social personality. I have a social network of girlfriends and my sisters as a support system.

Trying to construct a live-in or marital relationship at this late date in my life seem kind of futile to me. My marriage was an unmitigated disaster from which I don’t think that I will ever fully “recover.” Some part of me absolutely panics at the thought of living with another man. Intellectually, I KNOW that my current love isn’t capable of this kind of behavior but some part of me would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Who needs to live with this kind of well, anxiety? I find that I don’t have the energy. I just want to have a peaceful existence and the best way to do that is alone. There are other interests that I want to pursue and I don’t want the responsibility of a live-in relationship. I find myself completely unwilling to take on any additional responsibility at all. My whole life, I have always been the “RESPONSIBLE PARTY,” and always had to clean up the mess. Maybe its time to try something different this time around.

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