Is It Possible to Love Two Men? How do I choose?

The Answer

Communication and friendship are critical for a long term relationship.

Sex alone is not enough and how can the sex stay good if you are not able to talk to one another?

Having said that, if you’re not physically attracted to someone for whatever reason, how can you possibly expect to have a romantic relationship with them?

You are in a difficult situation. 

Have you considered that neither of these guys are ‘marriage’ material?

Our society is so hung up on locking in that interest rate and getting married before all of the good ones are gone. It is possible to have a long term relationship without getting married.

What’s the rush? Are either of these guys pushing the issue?

It sounds like you’re still young. There’s absolutely no need to rush into marriage and family. As long as you’re open with both guys, there’s nothing wrong with dating both of them… Assuming they’ll go for it.

Take your time, relax a little bit, and stop ’planning’ your future and try enjoying today for a little while. Don’t worry so much about who you need to marry and have kids with, unless of course your’ e ready to do those things right now, today, this minute.

I can’t decide for you which of these guys will make the best husband for you because if he’s willing to work on it with you, you can correct your communication issues with guy #2 (will most likely take the assistance of a counselor). You can also, work on the sexual pleasure issues with guy number #1 (there are counselors for this too).

The animal magnetism that you spoke of with guy #2 will most likely fade after a few years when that initial relationship high wears off.  His body definitely will not last forever…  Will you still be attracted to him if he puts on 20 pounds and stops running around everywhere? Where do you go if you can’t talk about sex and your changing wants and needs?

And his running around with his friends will probably get old, sooner than later. Not a good thing. Just remember you can’t change people, they change only if and when they’re ready.

I lean to guy #1 as the best long term choice, but if you’re absolutely not physically attracted to him, it won’t work. At the same time, if you can’t resolve the communication issues with guy #2, that won’t work either…

In Summary

• It could be that neither one of these men is "the one" for you long term.
• Live your for life today, not only for the future.
• Why the strong rush to marry one of them right away? Maybe you should hold off until you feel the right time to marry "the right man" comes. There’s absolutely no need to rush into marriage and family.

I have to say I’m completely stumped on which one you should choose, if you should even choose one of them… I could pretend that I know exactly what you should do, but I refuse to lie to you and give you advice that I wouldn’t give my best friend.

Hopefully, however I have raised some new questions in your mind that will help you make the best decision for you.

Anyone else out there have some thoughts for Sarah?