Commitment Issues… And Another Woman! (Video)

3 Responses to “Commitment Issues… And Another Woman! (Video)”

1. Ronnie on October 26th, 2007 6:00 am

   I completely and totally agree with Dan and Jennifer on this one. Take it from one who’s been in a very similar situation - This guy is keeping you around for when he’s bored with his girlfriend! The fact that he can’t tell you how he feels about you is a dead giveaway. One thing I will say for him is that he is not a complete heel because he at least is being honest with you about having another girlfriend. Only he is lying about getting rid of her, trust me.

   In my situation, which happened shortly after my divorce when I was 42 years old, I was suffering from the “rebound effect”. I wanted to meet someone sooo bad….I somehow fell into an “email relationship” with a man in the Midwest (I’m on the East Coast). The next thing you know, he’s coming to meet me and I was instantly “in love” with him. After that I flew out there every month or so to see him. He told me he had broken up with someone and she moved several states away, but that he was “still friendly” with her. Also, he refused to be specific about his feelings for me. Instead of being honest, he strung me along for months. Eventually I told him I loved him and he admitted he was not “in love” with me, whatever that means. That was the beginning of the end. Despite all this he was promising me that I could move out there and move in with him…..Ouch, what mixed messages! I was so confused that I believed only what I wanted to believe. I should have known something was fishy when his friends acted strangely around me. I thought they just didn’t like me but now I realize they acted that way because they knew he was playing me…..

   The next thing you know, his “ex” girlfriend comes back and was working in the same company as him. He insisted they were “just friends”. Then as if out of nowhere he starts to completely ignore me. No explanation, no nothing. I was going out of my mind trying to figure out what was going on. Finally I had to pull it out of him by threatening to come out there - Then he confessed that his “former” girlfriend had moved in with him! I didn’t even get the courtesy of a breakup call or anything! What a louse! Well, given that I am not one to take such things lying down, I called her and told her that he was cheating on her with me and not being honest about it - Would you believe she DEFENDED him? Wow, I told her she was naive and deserved what she got from him…..Yikes, if he cheated on her with me and me with her, what would he do to her in the future? Well, it’s not my problem anymore! That was 10 years ago.

   I am so happy not to be in that hell anymore and hope that this woman can find her way out to find someone who really cares about her. My boyfriend is so into me that when I see him, I see the love in his eyes after 3 years, too - She deserves this as well and I only hope she can find it! I didn’t find it until I was 46, so there is plenty of time left, trust me!

2. Ronnie on October 26th, 2007 6:13 am

   One more thing - I think in my situation the guy was keeping me around until he saw which way things were going with his real girlfriend. I was his “backup” plan if she dumped him. She was going through a bitter divorce and he didn’t know how she felt about him just yet. I just think he wanted someone convenient to “satisfy” him while she was sorting out her life problems. Only he wasn’t being honest with me about that, of course. And it sounds like this guy isn’t being honest with this woman either. I have seen this situation again and again and it ALWAYS means the guy is hung up on another woman and likes you because you are NOT someone he would be “in love with” - You are really no competition for the primary girlfriend and your being at a distance only lessens the “complication” for him - You are not “too close for comfort”. He can do what he wants and for the most part forget about you. Even if she broke up with him or he with her he would not suddenly become committed to you.

   Anyway, this guy sounds like a life long card carrying commitment-phobe given that he’s 51 and has never been married - Sorry to say that, I know not all never-married people have those issues, but he sounds like he is one…..I learned that lesson after doing the dating sites for a long time - You have a better chance of finding commitment from someone who has a proven track record of commitment - Believe it or not, a divorced man is a better prospect because at least you know he can be committed enough to marry someone! Best of luck!

3. sasa on October 31st, 2007 3:23 am

   sure you shoud leave him, you will meet another perfect man in the future :))

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