Only you know the entire story so I’m not going to continue playing dime store therapist. If she were my burden to deal with she would find that given the choice between “live” or “memorex” she doesn’t stand a chance since she isn’t equipped with a remote control to shut her the #*@! up.

-Chris

According to my ex, it was an addiction and a huge problem. I spent little time and no money at it. But the mere existence was the issue. Also from her perspective, it was religious based infidelity. Little can be done to argue that perspective. And it fueled the secular aspects of the discussion.

A couple of years and a divorce later (there were other issues as well, so the opening sentence was hyperbole), things are much better with respect to sex. I have found women, having gone through divorce themselves and re-evaluating their lives are discovering themselves, and some that always acknowledged their desires. That is an entire discussion in itself. However engaging in a relation ship where there is a shared interest of similar motivation regarding sex is a great thing. And as for seeking out porn, it just doesn’t happen any more.

I’m not suggesting, as some do, that the woman makes herself available or it is her fault. I am suggesting that there is a mismatch in that area. There are many areas in our lives where we do not match our partner. Each needs to be managed so that it does not overwhelm the relationship. And the solution comes from both sides.

Sex is a powerful motivation, especially for men. The Bible is full of it, Myth is full of it, and history. To ignore it as a motivating or destructive force in marriage is folly.

I feel sorry for the guy that has to live with a contolling female because his only option is to move on to another relationship. My ancient experience suggests that one will never “change” another person but fortunately the built-in fix is that there are other more-tolerant behaviors available with someone else. Otherwise, the sex better be really good to accept that kind of restrictive relationship, because thats about the only lure to keep the guy from putting off the inevitable.

We guys are born with a certain addiction (slight exaggeration for effect) to sex that most females don’t seem to share. Females like sex much like they enjoy a good “Pepsi” but there mind doesn’t scramble because they can’t get their fix. Why do you think males are provided an easy pressure release value on their pipes (foreskin) (Oh yeah, removed for most Americans by religious fanatics, but thats another blog). I make no apology being male. (They make red cars and blue cars… go pick your favorite color and move on)

Anyway, a little porn (or dirty magazine)generally helps speed the pressure release and has been done for centuries (whether admitted or not, it happens). The guy should have done a bit more shopping before commiting to such an intolerant person. Addicts have been known to exhibit extreme behavior to get their fix; lying, stealing, even immoral behavior. They can only defy their addiction starved nature for a limited amount of time with extreme denial to themselves. While my comparison of the male sex drive to addiction is a bit exaggerated, the results will be the same. The male will sucumb to his nature and find outside stimulus to enhance the pressure valve release effect and effectivly get his “fix”. No outside partner is necessary unless the “ultimation” effect gives this guy a reason to look elsewhere.

No sympathy for “control-freak” female.