This is a question many men would like to have answered. How can you get your wife to be more seductive? How can you get your wife to do all those things that turn you on so much?

It all starts with whether or not she feels comfortable enough with herself. If she is comfortable with herself, she will begin to let go of the doubt she has over dressing in that skimpy lingerie, talking dirty during sex, or whatever else she may otherwise be inclined to hide for fear of being rejected. Getting your wife to be more seductive begins with making her feel more attractive and accepted.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My wife and I are very sexually active, but I’m getting rather bored. She wants to have sex but that seems like that’s ALL she wants to do.

How can I get her to talk dirty and to seduce me?. She seems to be too self conscious about her body and thinks that it’s “silly” and only happens in the movies. Please help.

–Paul, Washington

Dressing sexy

No matter how good a woman looks to you, chances are she doesn’t see the same thing you do when she looks in the mirror. It is a scary notion to step in front of someone naked only to have them recoil in disgust. Many women have this very fear, so they are often afraid to dress in sexy, skimpy clothes.

Imagine if someone dressed you in a loincloth and threw you in front of a stranger. You’d feel very exposed and tense.  Chances are pretty good that you would also feel a bit embarrassed about standing in front of someone with barely anything to cover you.

Even if you have been married to someone for years, it can still feel awkward or uncomfortable to stand in front of someone with next to no clothes on. This is where feeling comfortable with her body comes in. If you let your wife know that you think she is beautiful and talk with her about trying new things to be more seductive, then you are taking steps in the right direction.

Ask her to simply try dressing seductive, and if she feels uncomfortable she can stop. This lets her be in control and if you show interest in her while encouraging her to let go of her doubt about herself, then you have opened the doorway for you and your wife to experiment with new areas of arousal and sexual excitement.

Talk dirty to her

Talking dirty is another aspect all together though, as it has nothing to do with the body and everything to do with the mind. You’d probably give a thousand bucks for the ability to know just the right dirty things to say to make your partner moan with desire and you’d give a million to take back saying the wrong things and having your partner look at you like you’re crazy.

This alone can be enough to deter many women and men from experimenting with dirty talk at all. The most important thing about incorporating dirty talk into your sex life is starting small.

Don’t try to go over the top at first, as this can make for some awkward moments. You can start by simply describing what the other person is doing to you, or how you want them to do it. Don’t feel bad if the words don’t come rushing out at first, as with everything else practice makes perfect.

You can ask your wife to be more seductive, for which you may get shot down, or you can help her. Compliment her, romance her and make her feel sexy in her own skin. Let her choose lingerie that she likes, even if it’s not the skimpiest thing on the rack.

Talk dirty with her, instead of asking her to talk dirty to you. With your help, your wife will feel better about herself and your sex life will improve drastically!