He has, like all spouses, his quirks and neurotic tendencies.

He has things about him that I am not all that fond of and he will, on occasion, royally piss me off. And there are times when he gets downright negative and bitter.

But, those things are not what I focus on. Today I realized that for the past 8 years of our marriage I have been blissfully happy, over all. I also realized that when I think about him, I don’t think about the things that piss me off or frustrate me.

I think about the things I am so grateful for about him.

Our thoughts are powerful things. I know many of us have heard the idea that “Thoughts are Things.” But I am here to testify to you that you can indeed change the quality of your relationship by how you think about what is happening.

Negative Traits Do Not Destroy a Marriage

When my husband was trying to develop a company that never made a dime and cost us what remained of our life savings (after the stock market crash), I didn’t nag him and focus on how bad things were. Instead I continued to focus on how grateful I was for him and all the things he brings to my life.

When he would pout and fume at me when I would return from trips to various activities, I didn’t push back and become bitter and angry with him. I focused on how glad I was to have him to come home to, even if he was temporarily unhappy with me.

When he got depressed after months of looking for work and not finding it, I didn’t focus on his bitterness. I just continued to focus on how grateful I was to have him.

The things he does for me are huge.

He holds me in the mornings before he gets up. He makes sure the pool is clean and the lawn is mowed. He feeds the dog and initiates doing the laundry on Saturday. He fixes anything I have that needs to be fixed. He helps me with projects I am working on and encourages me in the things I want to do.

He cares if I am unhappy and holds me when I cry.

Happiness Has No Price

Any of those things are worth the price I pay to be married to him. Having him be there to be a partner in my life is a gift that I cannot possibly express the value of in one sitting.

And, he doesn’t have to do any of the above all the time. In fact, he doesn’t. He doesn’t do them “perfectly” or always in the ways I would want him to do. But that is insignificant.

The funny thing is that I realized the full value of my gratitude for him on this Thanksgiving. This year he will make more money than both of us put together have ever made. We are closer than we have ever been and he is excited about the things he is doing and where his life is going. So am I.

I continue to be overwhelmingly grateful for him.

Focus On What You Do Have!

I am not telling you this for you to hear what a great husband I have. I am telling you this for you to stop focusing on what you DON’T have and start focusing on what you DO have.

Start being grateful for the fact that you have someone in your life that says they love you. Be grateful for the fact of this person. Be grateful for the fun times, the sad times, the stressful times because you have someone on the ath with you.

Be grateful every time they hold you, kiss you, do some small thing for you. Be aware that each thing they do for and with you is a gift that is priceless.

My husband has no idea that my gratitude is so great. He doesn’t really need to know that I am constantly in a prayer of sorts about how thankful I am that he is in my life.

Yet he does know, somehow, that he is appreciated. His knowing that he is appreciated makes him want to do and be more. It, unconsciously, pushes him to want to be what I need him to be. It gives him a sense that he matters and increases his sense of self worth. He feels happier.

A happier mate means a happier partnership. Thus, giving me even more to be grateful for every day.

Try it, you’ll be amazed!

To learn more about Melody Brooke, visit OhWowThisChangesEverything.com.

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