Comments on: When Fairy Tale Romance Goes Bad… http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/white-knight-damsel-in-distress-when-fairy-tale-romance-goes-bad/ Love & Sex. Videos, Tips & Advice from Ask Dan & Jennifer Sun, 31 May 2009 18:06:15 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Gavril Cook http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/white-knight-damsel-in-distress-when-fairy-tale-romance-goes-bad/comment-page-1/#comment-31889 Gavril Cook Fri, 18 Jan 2008 05:37:20 +0000 http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/white-knight-damsel-in-distress-when-fairy-tale-romance-goes-bad/#comment-31889 Are you aware of how your acknowledged 'relating' to the woman colored your interpretation of their story? You refer in a judgmentally neutral way to her desire for "those extra things that make a woman feel good about herself: jewelry, nice clothes, acrylic nails, spa days, and a beautiful home". You breeze right past the open fact that she was attracted to him for his money, and then cheated on him within their first year -- and refused to end the affair when he was willing to put it behind them. Yet, you repeatedly refer to him "disrespecting" her by taking care of her. Your references to his role in this damsel/knight relationship are decidedly judgmental. You refer to his "wanton ways" with his money, and even put the wore "his" in quotes. The knight is "shallow", and incapable of intimacy, whereas the damsel is "limited" and "not allowed", references which suggest that she is kept down somehow by external forces, through no fault of her own; something which does not match the facts in the story. I think it's evident that, as you yourself admitted, you "related" to one side of this relationship, and you were unable to get beyond that in a professional way and look at them objectively. Are you aware of how your acknowledged ‘relating’ to the woman colored your interpretation of their story? You refer in a judgmentally neutral way to her desire for “those extra things that make a woman feel good about herself: jewelry, nice clothes, acrylic nails, spa days, and a beautiful home”. You breeze right past the open fact that she was attracted to him for his money, and then cheated on him within their first year — and refused to end the affair when he was willing to put it behind them.

Yet, you repeatedly refer to him “disrespecting” her by taking care of her. Your references to his role in this damsel/knight relationship are decidedly judgmental. You refer to his “wanton ways” with his money, and even put the wore “his” in quotes.

The knight is “shallow”, and incapable of intimacy, whereas the damsel is “limited” and “not allowed”, references which suggest that she is kept down somehow by external forces, through no fault of her own; something which does not match the facts in the story.

I think it’s evident that, as you yourself admitted, you “related” to one side of this relationship, and you were unable to get beyond that in a professional way and look at them objectively.

]]> By: eve http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/white-knight-damsel-in-distress-when-fairy-tale-romance-goes-bad/comment-page-1/#comment-26702 eve Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:19:24 +0000 http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/white-knight-damsel-in-distress-when-fairy-tale-romance-goes-bad/#comment-26702 Is it at all possible to make a successful relationship out of a "white knight" situation? Is it at all possible to make a successful relationship out of a “white knight” situation?

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