The Difference Between Looking and Ogling

On the other hand, it’s also important to keep in mind that there is a difference between “looking” and “ogling.”  Although a certain degree of looking is natural and to be expected, there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed or it then becomes disrespectful to you.

There’s also a difference between “looking” and “wandering” and that’s what we want to focus on here.  His looking only becomes dangerous when he acts on his urges or is thinking of acting on them. 

When Looking Is More Than a Stare

If his looking is more like a stare that is blatantly obvious to you and the other woman and causes embarrassment or he’s making explicit remarks out loud to you about the other woman, comparing you to her in any way, actually flirting with her in front of you or indicating in any way that he would like to act on his urges, then this is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

Under these circumstances you may be dealing with a player, someone with excessively low self-esteem who needs constant ego boosting or sex addiction and that’s a whole other ball game that is cause for concern.

These issues are outside the realm of this conversation. For the purpose of this discussion we’re talking about the average semi-emotionally healthy man.

So, in summary, the main points to take away from this discussion are this. If you’re man is engaging in a little window shopping and admiring the merchandise, there is no harm done and no action is really required. 

On the other hand, in a healthy relationship, even though he may be aroused by another woman, your man should be mature enough and value his relationship with you enough that he won’t do anything to jeopardize it. 

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed. is an adult sex educator and author of several sex life improvement guides. Visit her site for more great tips on preventing infidelity.

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