The #1 Relationship Killing Mistake to Avoid

Here’s a great article from one of our featured authors, Marianne Torrence.

Marianne is a clearing facilitator, personal development specialist and SuperTeaching trainer, providing in-depth and highly effective techniques and systems to “clear out your mental closets”; involving procedures which substantially reduce stress.

With 35 years of experience, Marianne delivers over 40 different programs covering a wide variety of issues people have such as unwanted limiting beliefs, removal of negative energy from traumatic incidents, relationship difficulties, communication ability enhancement, personal integrity makeover, attitude transformation, and bettering communication with their bodies.

You’ll want to read "The #1 Relationship Killing Mistake to Avoid" right now because it will help you avoid the single biggest mistake that you can ever make in any relationship.

The #1 Relationship Killing Mistake to Avoid

by Marianne Torrence, Copyright 2007

This mistake can destroy your relationships with children, friends, colleagues too.

One of the deadliest habits one can have is putting people down, devaluing them, making them wrong and all flavors of that activity. Everyone at one time or another has had experiences of feeling lessened or degraded by the attitude or comments of someone who was making them feel wrong or their communications of little value.

In a relationship or marriage, making your partner feel less, or creating an environment where people are afraid to speak because their communications are likely to be met by a putdown, is a sure recipe for disaster unless your partner is already disempowered or already accepting of the role of victim. Which hopefully isn’t the kind of partner you want or have got! But even if they are apparently accepting of this role, adding to it with putdowns will still backfire on the perpetrator.

In my many years of listening to people’s innermost thoughts and deepest hurts, I have observed that some of the deepest unhappiness and damage can be caused by people who continually emanate negative devaluing statements, creating an unsafe environment that kills the spirit along with any chance of a deepening and long-lasting closeness. And it is damaging to the person who does it too. Those around them may not express it, but the repressed hurt and resentment that accumulates will eventually rebound on the perpetrator.

The trouble is, a lot of the people who do this to others have no idea of the far-reaching effects it can have on the recipient. In my experience most aren’t confident enough or willing to ignore social niceties enough to just front up to the person doing it and just say “Knock it off – your put-down and make wrong communications are destructive and aren’t adding any value to the people you are delivering them to.”

The bottom line is…