Look at Your Own Relationship

Take a moment and think about your current relationship. If it’s good, it’s probably because you two match up well – one of you is predominately dom, and the other is predominately sub. If your relationship is tense or otherwise not ideal, it could be that you inadvertently ended up with a person who is the same type as you.

Two doms together are no good. Two subs together are also not good. If you’re matched up with the wrong partner, your sex life will be out of sync. Neither of you will be able to fulfill the other person if you both want to be tied up.

What to do? If you’re already paired up, explore the possibility of one of you switching roles and see how that feels. Some people find pleasure in both the dom and sub roles, depending on their mood.

If you are currently looking for a partner, keep this concept in mind while searching. Look for clues in other people that will indicate if you would be a good match or not. It’ll save you a lot of time and heartache.

Look at Others

Now take a moment to think about other relationships you know. How about your parents – is one of them the dominant type? Are they still together?

Think about the unhappy couples you know. What’s the source of their friction and frustration? What about the happy couples you know? Chances are, they are a good match because one is dom and one is sub.

I have a good rule of thumb for figuring out who wears the pants in a relationship – it’s the person who does most of the driving and whose voice is used as the message for the home answering machine.

But it’s not always so cut and dried. I thought long enough about one content couple I knew and figured out that the woman is a dom type who plays the submissive role.

Meanwhile, her husband is the sub type who is playing the dom role, and for some reason, this works for them. If one of them didn’t assume this role, then the whole thing would be off balance and they would run into problems.

Why do I think I’m such an authority on this? Well, I’m a self-proclaimed slut – I’ve had lots of sexual partners, LOTS of hands on research, and all that experience has given me insight on sexual compatibility in a way that someone who has only had sex with a handful of people can’t know.

I only wish I had this figured out ten years ago.

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