BDSM 101 - Moving Beyond Plain Vanilla Sex
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Test Your Comfort Zone
As for me, I knew I liked rough sex, but I sure didnât know I got turned on by a gentle face slap. My guy tried that one on me one time and I had a similar reaction to the woman with the hand on her face â I was shocked, but paused to process it. Did I like it? At first I didnât, then found myself fantasizing about it later. As you can see, you can surprise yourself.
Be âTry-Sexualâ
It pays to try new things, even if you think you might not like them. If you find youâre not crazy about it, donât do it again. As long as you keep open communication going, pushing your boundaries shouldnât âruinâ things. Itâs all a learning process.
You can also experiment with swatting the bottom during sex, or pinning your partnerâs hands above his or her head while youâre making love. Take a candle and drip hot wax on your partner â itâs easy to monitor this one â the higher up you hold it above someone when it drips, the less it hurts.
Someone once told me that they loved sex because it reminded them of what it was like to be a kid. âEXCUSE ME?â I said, eyebrows raised. âAnd just what kind of childhood did you have?â He laughed and explained, âWith sex you get to be really messy and play make believe and just have fun!â
What a great attitude. Give your hang-ups a rest and explore with an open mind. Work the kinks OUT. Oh and by the way â my friend I mentioned at the beginning of this article? He ended up breaking it off with his girlfriend. It turns out they werenât sexually compatible, and now they are both with better matched partners. In my next article, Iâll talk more about sexual compatibility when it comes to kink.
To learn more about The Beautiful Kind, visit TheBeautifulKind.com.
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While I generally like your articles, why does vanilla have to be plain? Some people like vanilla and for them, it’s anything but plain!