Is There A Place For Pornography In ANY Relationship?

One Response to “Is There A Place For Pornography In ANY Relationship?”

1. Elton Andersyn on March 24th, 2008 3:11 pm

   Thanks for this article. I live in a Liberal Arts college town and as a result there is a heavy feminist influence here.

   Now, there is a smaller sect of younger feminists who contend that pornography (viewing of and appearing in) is highly empowering, that it’s not just a man’s world anymore. As a male porn viewer, I find this very refreshing and see this as one of the positive effects of the Slut Culture that is so prevalent with the twenty-something set in the States.

   However, there are far more folks in my town that hold the idea that all sex must have meaning. That it must be tantric. No screwing for the sheer pleasure of it, if you will. The spiritualists that flood to my town are a big part of this attitude, but more importantly, it is the high population of pseudofeminists that influence this attitude most (IMHO).

   I can’t even begin to count the number of people I’ve spoken with that are completely closed off to any form of porn, especially if it comes from a male. Nearly everyone of these “feminists” declare porn as degrading to women. Sure, there are plenty of flicks out there with the women being degraded, but most of it isn’t. It’s consensual adults having a good time in front of the camera.

   When I ask them why they say porn is degrading to women, they almost always respond with, “IT JUST IS!” Where’s the thought behind that? They have no reason to hate porn except to follow what they’ve been taught.

   Some do have a reason, but it’s almost always in regards to blowjobs as degrading, that it’s a man asserting his dominance over women. Yet, these same women will often state that they love being eaten out. How is that any less degrading than a blowjob (not that I think either is)? It’s all about the approach.

   I feel that most wives who forbid their husbands from watching porn are basing their negative outlook based on ignorance, or rather, on merely going with the status-quo that says porn is bad.

   I agree that any partner should respect the other’s feelings on a subject, but shouldn’t the couple discuss it openly? If the wife is simply forbidding her husband from porn without any thought on the matter, is she respecting his wishes and desires. Marriage is a two-way street that requires each half to openly listen to their partner.

   BTW - I’m not pleading my own case here. My wife doesn’t care if I watch porn, even though she’s not a huge fan (read: she thinks it’s okay, just not something she flocks to).