Oral sex can be tough work! Trying to please your partner orally requires lots of stamina and skill.

It can also be very pleasurable to give your partner oral sex.  There’s nothing quite like giving your partner oral sex, but is it harder to give oral sex to one gender than another?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I can’t come to an agreement – who works harder in bed? Is it easier for a woman to give oral sex to a man or for a man to give oral sex to a woman?

–Jeff, North Carolina

If You Like It . . .

While it would be easier to say that it’s harder going down on one gender over another, the true answer to that question is a little more complicated than that and it has nothing to do with sex or gender.

If you really enjoy giving your partner oral sex, and a lot of people do, it’s actually going to be easier for you to give oral sex than it would be for someone who doesn’t enjoy it.

Whether you’re going down on a guy or a gal, if you really enjoy doing it, it doesn’t seem like work, does it?

To some people who don’t enjoy giving their partner oral sex, pleasing them orally might seem like a chore. For this type of person, giving their partner oral sex is actually more difficult than it is for someone who really likes to do it.

Warming Up The Oven

There is, however, a bit of truth to the argument that giving oral sex to a woman is harder than it is to give oral sex to a man. The theory is that many women require a great deal of foreplay and need to be “warmed up” before they become sexually aroused.

As a result, going down on a woman simply takes longer to bring her to climax than a man would need to reach climax through oral sex. This isn’t something that is set in stone though.

It truly varies from individual to individual. You might find that it doesn’t take long at all for some women to reach climax through oral sex, while it takes some men a reasonably long time to do the same.

Gender Doesn’t Matter

Whether you’re a girl going down on a guy, a guy going down on a girl or any combination of the above, it can be easy or difficult to perform oral sex on your partner depending on your personality and your own sexual preferences.

You might really like to perform oral sex on your partner or you may hate it.  How hard it is for you to do depends on your enthusiasm.

If you don’t like to give oral sex, you might find your preferences change after awhile, making it easier for you to pleasure your partner orally. Leave yourself open to the prospect of really growing to enjoy pleasing your partner through oral sex, even if it seems more like a chore now.

Then again, you may never learn to like it. Either way, talk to your partner about how you feel about oral sex. If you are really having a hard time finding it enjoyable to give your partner oral sex, talk to them and find out if there is another way you can give them pleasure that is more arousing for you.