You like anal sex – but your partner doesn’t, or maybe she just hasn’t tried it before. If you want anal sex to become a larger part of you and your partner’s sex life, you need a good approach to convince your partner that anal sex can be something you both enjoy. How can you get her to love anal sex?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend doesn’t like anal sex but I do. I mean, I really do! It’s something I want to experience with her – how can I get her to do it with me?

–Jason, MO

Give Her A Hint

If you want your partner to really get into anal sex, the best method of approach isn’t a blunt one. Hint at anal sex during regular sex by caressing your partner’s buttocks during sex, tickle her anus with a feather or your fingers and perhaps even get her involved with playing around your anus. Don’t do anything drastic at this point – if she’ll let you, a little hot finger play around her anus is all you want to go for right now. Start hinting around in this manner with your partner a month or two before you really want to take the plunge into anal sex. She’ll really need a mental warm up before she’s ready.

Get Her Emotionally Ready

Believe it or not, anal sex is a huge emotional step for a woman. It’s a “taboo” and very submissive act. She’ll need time to get mentally prepared for anal sex, so a couple weeks after you start introducing the light finger play, talk to her about anal sex. You don’t necessarily have to have a “sit down” talk with her about it – that might actually intimidate her. Try watching a pornography together that features anal sex and talk to your partner about how much it turns you on. Watch your language though – make sure she gets the idea that it would turn you on to have her do that with you and not that you simply think anal sex is hot.

If She’s Interested

If you’ve gotten your partner to accept the idea of having anal sex with you, congrats! It’s not over yet though. If you want to have anal sex with your partner more than once, it’s important to make sure that you make this experience a positive one for her. First, get a good, solid bottle of water based lubricant. Don’t be shy with it either! Make sure you use plenty of lubricant. The anus is not self lubricating, so use as much lubricant as you like – you definitely can’t use too much! Start slow and be gentle – the anus is not a place to have rough sex. It’s not made to accommodate something go in, so it can tear quite easily. Give your partner a lot of warm up time, and give yourself time to enjoy it!

Extra Tips

Always wash your penis after anal sex. Bacteria can spread, especially to the vagina. Never insert your penis into the vagina after anal sex unless you’ve thoroughly washed it, because your partner can get some pretty nasty infections that way. If you’re not in a faithful, monogamous relationship with someone who is STD and STI free, wear a condom during anal sex. Anal sex actually has a higher rate of STD and STI transmission than traditional intercourse! If you just want to be safe, wear a condom anyway. After having anal sex with your partner, make sure you tell her you love her and that you still respect her!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Sex God Method’: “If You Want to Give Women Screaming Orgasms, This Video May Be The Most Important Video You’ll Ever Watch”