Although you and Mr. New Love did every position in the book during your torrid affairs in Cyber-Land, the reality might be that you’re a very shy and cautious lover. Once Mr. New Love really gets you between the sheets, the difference between Cyber-Land you and Real you might be very confusing to him. So confusing it might seem like a betrayal since you portrayed yourself to be one way when in fact you’re another. Sounds very much like lying, doesn’t it? And that’s never a good start to any relationship.

Pro -  Fantasies Can be Very Revealing

Not only can exploring each other’s sexual fantasies be a wonderful way to test out your sexual compatibility, but it can also lead to a whole slew of other insightful topics of conversation. Bringing up different sexual likes and dislikes can reveal where someone stands on a variety of socially political issues such as homosexuality, marriage, religion, feminism, etc. For example, when you are having cyber sex try shifting the fantasy toward something “taboo” and see how your partner reacts. It’s very easy to then bring up that topic later on for further clarification and discussion. There’s nothing like trying out a Nun/Priest role playing fantasy to bring out someone’s religious and political convictions!

Con – Your Writing Skills Don’t Match Your Sexual Skills

This problem can go one of two ways. Either you’re a fantastic writer who‘s bad in bed, or you’re a fantastic lover who can‘t write. In the first case, your partner may be disappointed the first time you “really” have sex since cyber (written) sex with you was mind-blowing due to your uncanny way with words. In the second case, your lack of verbal finesse might ruin your chances of ever getting your partner into your bed at all. If for some reason you believe your writing skills do not match your real sexual prowess, then it’s probably best to avoid cyber sex with your crush until after you’ve had physical sex with them at least once. That way no one will be unfortunately disappointed or unreasonably dissuaded from having sex with you.

Otherwise, Enjoy It!

Like most things, the decision to have cyber sex before physical sex with someone new is a gamble. The opportunity to explore each other sexually without having to worry about physical consequences, appearances, and social inhibitions is understandably tempting. My only words of caution are to remember that your cyber persona and actions will influence how your potential lover perceives you, as well as their expectations for your “real” first time together. However, if you’re a little mindful of these things and don’t go crazier in Cyber-Land than you would in your bedroom, then cyber sex can certainly add a lot of playful flirtations to those first few weeks of heart-racing acquaintanceship.  

Featured Author, Rose Rivera has a Masters degree in Family and Sexuality Studies and is the founder of SpeakSexy.org, a website dedicated to keeping readers abreast of the latest sexuality trends in an intelligent, provocative, and erotic way. For more great sex tips be sure to sign up to Speak Sexy’s feed today!

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