what with all these questions about porn ...
its just porn ...
own the remote ... put your finger on the fast forward button ...
and get it over with ...
isn't it how its supposed to be done ...
hehehe ...

Hello,
I think that the question of whether porn is wrong is a question that is still not settled. I think whether it is wrong to watch porn can't be solely reduced to ideas of sexual insecurity or repression within culture. Being a male I've become increasingly aware of the extreme nature of a lot of porn online for instance and at a certain point I've had to step back and really question whether it is healthy. I'd like to point you and your readers to a great article written by Don Hazen of Alternet entitled 'Pornography and the End of Masculinity' at http://www.alternet.org/module/printversion/62833

Based on that article and ideas of mine I've actually concluded that most though not all is not that great. Intuitively I think many of us already know this but don't want to admit it to ourselves. But there is something to protecting a certain degree of wholesomeness and integrity within ourselves that I think can be compromised by indulging ourselves in porn.

In large part because porn gives us an inaccurate perspective on sex and our relationship to the opposite sex. It wreaks havoc on our perceptions of what a healthy sex life and fulfilling relationship is. And this goes for men as well as for women.

Ariel Levy wrote a book called 'Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture' which deconstructs a lot of the girl gone wild culture and more. She's pretty interesting and here's a good video of her on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i780bzPyD6U and here's a good vid of her on the Colbert Report: http://colbertondemand.com/videos/The_Colbert_R....

I think we need to get over the idea that we're still in the 60s and instead of justifying behaviors in the name of freedom we need to actually think about which behaviors are really beneficial, healthy, and wholesome. What sexual liberation means for people today I think is something totally different.

The things that are going on in the world in the name of sexual exploration, liberty, and so forth are really nuts. I'm not even going to list some of the atrocious "advances" that Japan has made in this arena. And to a certain degree we must admit that in whatever way porn can be the "gateway" drug.

Of course it's a big philosophical question but it's good to hear other learned people's opinions on the matter.

Supporting the porn industry with your clicks or dollars helps support the objectification of women's bodies, and oftentimes, many of the porn companies do not treat their female actors with respect. Supporting them with your dollars allows this disrespect to continue, and oftentimes you will not be able to tell who treats their actors with respect and who do not. Unfortunately, despite our best intentions, watching porn does lead to an increased tendency to view men and women's bodies in parts, i.e. in an objectified manner (breasts n butts), which allow us to see women as less than human (which, incidentally, makes it easier to commit violence against them in the form of domestic assault or rape). This is all based on social science research within the field of psychology, rather than my personal opinion. I highly recommend checking out the American Psychological Association's Task Force report on the Sexualization of Girls (dl online) for more info.

I wish more women were more foward about , "things".

I've got a question, Joe.

Since porn objectifies women, does that make it ok to watch gay male porn? No women being objectified in that.

Since porn objectifies women, does that make it ok to watch gay male porn? No women being objectified in that.

Hey Maxwell - thanks, excellent point there. That's where the anti-porn stuff tends to break down.

Just to clarify for everyone, nobody is arguing for the oppression of women (or anyone else), not by ANY means. We're talking about whether it's OK for someone to "watch" porn.

Whether or not some people are breaking laws and engaging in criminal activities somehow related to you watching porn is highly theoretical and beyond the reasonable scope of this discussion, and makes this topic unwieldy. Criminal activity is criminal activity, and should be prosecuted as such.

Some of the same legal issues go for prostitution. But most of the evils often quote by the media about prostitution are actually CAUSED by the very laws that make it illegal. The crime, the horrible conditions, the violence - it's all due to the black market nature of this profession. That means no taxes, no government safety oversight, no rights for victims of crimes (prostitutes attacked, etc.).

There's an extensive discussion on this topic here: Legalize Prostitution? SHOCKING Poll Results Are In!

Many of the same legal and oppression issues as pertain to porn and oppression are addressed there.

The social stigma with sex isn't what bothers my wife about pornography, it's the feel that it's cheating. We're Christian, and the Bible says that when you even look at another woman you're committing adultery in your heart. We're perfectly comfortable acting out fantasies, describing exactly what we like to each other, and exploring our sexuality in detail. But it stops with each other, and doesn't leave the bedroom. I gave up pornography for that reason: if it makes her feel cheated on (e.g., I'm getting sexual gratification from others) it just isn't right.

"I gave up pornography for that reason: if it makes her feel cheated on, it just isn't right."

Mike, I have to say there's just no way to argue with that.

You're putting her feelings before your own enjoyment. Whether she's "right" or not to expect that of you is not relevant, that's just truly special.

Ha! if you said that only men that watch porn or only men addicted to porn movie; I'm totally disagree.
My girl used to watch with me together, she even sometimes want me follow what the actor did in the video..

I don't agree this phase " We’re Christian, and the Bible says that when you even look at another woman you’re committing adultery in your heart. "
You can look at a woman, but you can't think other than that.

To Mike:
I don't recall the exact wording right off hand, but I think it's clear that the intent/spirit of that particular tenet is that, much like if "you have done it even unto the least of God's brethren, you have done it also unto him" (roughly quoted...I'm not technically a Christian so bear with me, if you'll be so gracious... ;D ), God wishes to make clear that since the nature of your commitment is one of thoughts and feelings well before it is manifest in deed, a betrayal in this personal, private realm is clearly an act of infidelity, even if no one else is physically involved.
So in my view, the question then becomes whether you were utilizing porn for the general, abstract stimulation gained from witnessing the act (and, in my opinion, almost certainly also from the taboo associated with the convention saying such an indulgence is clearly out-of-bounds), or if you were watching porn specifically to dream about a chance encounter with Jenna Jameson (that we all know will never happen) in more vivid detail by watching someone else perform your duties from the dream by proxy.
Without doubt your obligation in keeping and upholding the vows of exclusive commitment you've sworn to your wife is primarily to her alone. But the matter of whether you are in fact faithful in word and deed (and thought) is determined between you and you (and/or God, as per subjective beliefs dictate). So ultimately, assuming you're honest with yourself (and don't necessarily be so sure about that--it's fairly disturbing the number of people lying to themselves about one thing or another and entirely unaware--but how COULD you become aware...?), if you sincerely only lust after your wife, then it would seem to me that you'd be using porn in a totally justifiable manner (not to mention in porn's primary/basest generic--pretty much as sterile/harmless as it can be--function).
It's important for your wife not only to be aware of this distinction, but I'd say also to be some level of okay with it. Otherwise it gets into there being issues involving questionable structural integrity of the very trust on which your relationship is founded...almost certainly due to some manner of personal insecurity felt/perceived to some degree on her part for which you are most likely in no way directly responsible, yet which nevertheless poses potential to harm your marriage at some future time, given the proper conditions...true happiness, trust, and security is a thing of great value/beauty which simply cannot be overlooked or in any way substituted.

Jeff
(Dallas)