Because of this, it’s important to approach your relationship problems by asking "what can I do to make this better" rather than blaming your partner and saying, "things are this way because you (do or don’t do this, this, and this)."

Blaming your partner for your feelings will only make them defensive and angry, neither of which will make them want to give you the sexual attention you’re seeking.

At the End of the Day There’s Nothing Left for You

The sad truth is, people have a limited amount of emotional and physical energy. After an entire day of working, going to school, and taking care of children your partner has nothing left in their energy reserves for you.

Even when one of you does have some energy left over and is in the mood for a little kinky sex play, the likelihood that your partner will feel the same way at the same time is slim.

It’s not your fault. It’s not your partner’s fault.

That’s just the way life seems to be for most people in our very driven, output-oriented society.

Our culture places more value on how much we work and how much we produce than it does on how close, intimate, and loving our relationships are. So it makes sense that people choose to focus almost one hundred percent of their energy on their work, putting it ahead of their relationships.

Make a Conscious Choice to Refocus Your Energy

The key to having a continuously intimate relationship with your lover is to make sure you both have enough energy at the end of the day for each other.

This has to be a conscious decision, because "life" will surely get in the way and drain your energy if you don’t do something to change it.

One of the best ways to regroup and re-energize is to put aside one hour each day for yourself to do something that you enjoy. This is one hour of "ME" time – no children, no work, no school, and no lovers.

Some people choose to meditate or to go for walks. The activity itself doesn’t matter as long as it’s something that relaxes you and takes your mind off of everything else.

You’ll be amazed at how much just one hour for yourself will restore your energy!

What You Focus on Will Flourish

This is true for anything in life. Whether it’s writing a book, building a company, or strengthening your love for your partner, what you choose to focus your energy on will flourish.

But on the flip side, what you don’t give your energy to will diminish and eventually die.

So take a moment to think about your own day. What do you spend your time doing? What are you giving your energy to? Are those things really important? Is your relationship one of them?

Chances are, it isn’t.

If you really do want a loving, intimate relationship with your partner then you have to make time for it just like you make time for everything else.

Schedule it in, and commit to it.

Once you start giving your relationship the energy it needs, it will flourish, and the sex should take care of itself.

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