Comments on: Help – My Overactive Sex Drive is Killing My Marriage!

By: Jason

Jason — Thu, 24 May 2007 03:28:16 +0000

Well, I have AGAIN found myself in a relationship with a woman that is not able to keep up. But this time we are married and we have an 8 week old child now. In her forth month, the doctor told her to not have sex anymore (she was a high risk of premature delivery). Still, Eli is 8 weeks old now and every attempt I make to have sex is met with hostility because ” I just don’t understand what she is going through, and how her limbido is effected by childbirth”.
I am on the verge of either a breakdown, divorce, or cheating on her. None of which sound to pleasent, because as freinds, we get along great. It’s only when I bring up sex that we argue…
She tells me that I DON’T UNDERSTAND…

I have told her since the first week that we met that I needed a sexual relationship (I had wanted three times a day, but settled for at least once a day, which I never got even before she got pregnant) and an affectionate relationship.. and I am starving of both.

I am 33 years old and the lack of sex has been the only arguement that I have ever had with any of my past relationships throughout my 20’s, and the cause of the ending of all of them.

When I met my wife, I was well aware of my needs, told them to her SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE WE GOT INVOLVED, and still find myself here.

I have two questions if you will suffer my time..

1) Why do you think I always choose women that cannot live up to my needs?
2) I have tried your first suggestion, which was talking to her about it, and she gets hostile when I bring up sex. In Lieu of this how should I proceed with your following suggestions?

Keep in mind that I try to kiss her (not happening), I have to try to even hug her (hit or miss), back rubs to her are denied, back rubs from her….. are you f*cking kidding me? I asked her once and got a look that would kill 1000 men.

I reread my own post, and I almost know what you are going to say, but I want to hear it anyway.
Keep in mind that we get along like best friends…

Thanks for any help.

By: chris

chris — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:47:12 +0000

i defininitely have this same problem. nothing seems to work though. even when i get it, its rarely enough. two, three, four times. its just never enough. and masturbation barely helps. ive handled this thing four times in eight hours and im still fighting the urge to wake my sick wife and….
we’ve discussed the threesome thing (guy, girl, girl)but im afraid it will make it worse. i couldn’t imagine finding myself in that situation and being the last man standing so to speak.

By: Doug

Doug — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 17:12:26 +0000

One major alternative not mentioned in The Answer — Masturbation. While perhaps not a cure by itself, it certainly can be a significant way to “lessen the pressure” from an overactive sex drive. Moreover, an active imagination in the fantasy department can make it that much more satisfying. I find masturbation helps even things out with a wife that’s not as sexually driven as I am, but not too far off either.

Doug

By: Gary

Gary — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 07:54:56 +0000

Excellent recommendations for people who are having this problem.