Having an orgasm doesn’t mean losing all control – it just means letting go.

Still, some women find themselves incapable of having an orgasm or stopping one that is on the way – often because of emotional baggage that keeps them from releasing their inhibitions.

Therapy can help women work through their issues and build enough self confidence to start enjoying themselves sexually with a partner they trust.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hey there, I have a question that I’m embarrassed asking. I have had a series of bad boyfriends, hurtful, hateful relationships. The times I had sex with them I never got any pleasure and I have never had an orgasm. I have read that you lost control during orgasm. I do not wish to.

I have a new boyfriend He is so sweet and caring, and he cares about making me happy and giving me pleasure. But I cannot bring myself to let him make me cum. I always stop him the minute it starts to feel good. I know he is hurt. What can I do to make myself orgasm? How do I stop myself from stopping? What does it feel like? I’m a little confused.

-Sarah, Canterbury, New Zealand

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Why Can’t I Let Go and Have An Orgasm With My Partner?

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