If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, you might be looking into swinging. Swinging with a third person or even another couple can bring a new aspect of fun and excitement into your sex life that you never thought possible. 

Some couples aren’t ready for swinging. You have to be comfortable, confident and above all, open and honest with each other. Do you have what it takes to be swingers? 

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I have a huge dilemma. My wife and I are very sexual, and have discussed at length our interest in the swinging lifestyle. We are both dying to explore the beginning stages, but have a problem. Besides being totally inexperienced, we are not physically fit and although we are very fun and engaging and have a lot of social adventures, we feel too uncomfortable to approach others. We want to watch real people have sex in front of us, but not participate.

 

Is there an outlet for this with real people? I know it’s hypocritical, but we would like to see attractive people, and people we connect with emotionally, but we don’t feel we have what it takes to get others to want to share themselves with us. What should we do?

 

– Jay, NC

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Being Comfortable With Yourself

Swingers come in all shapes, sizes and colors. The swingers you see in pornography and on television shows aren’t the only swingers out there in real life. Swingers can be anyone, your frumpy next door neighbors or even your bald boss. You’re going to find a great mix of people from all walks of life when you start exploring swinging.

You may feel that you’re not attractive enough to swing, or that no other couple is going to be interested in what you have to offer. That’s not true! It takes time and effort to find another person or couple that you’re compatible with, but that doesn’t mean you never will.

The first step to swinging is getting comfortable with yourself. Now that you understand that swingers don’t all look like television actors and actresses, you can begin to become confident enough with yourself that you aren’t worried about what you look like or what other people look like.

You can always change your physical appearance. You can lose weight, tone up, even dye your hair. Why do that, though? If you’re not confident with you, the swinging life is going to fizzle fast. Learn to accept yourself for who you are and what you look like, and realize that you’re attractive to your partner and you’re going to be attractive to others as well.

Getting Your Feet Wet

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