At the core of it, jealousy reflects a person’s inner insecurities that they are not good enough and their partner may find someone better. It also reflects the need to control their partner. If they control what their partner does, then they won’t leave or find someone else.

In reality, neither of these things is true. The best way to keep your partner from finding someone ‘better’ is to be truly confident in yourself and love yourself unconditionally – only then can you truly love another person.

So can you trust someone who’s been in the swinger lifestyle for years to go cold turkey and be completely monogamous and content with only his wife?

Here’s a question from a lady in Texas struggling with the dire possibility of losing her husband…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband has a rather extensive swinging history. When we first met, I tried it with him a few times but due to my own jealousy and insecurities, it was not enjoyable. I chose to not continue. We talked about it and he said that it was OK that he loved me and did not want to jeopardize our future. He said, "Then we won’t do it, it’s no big deal."

Recently, I found out that he has been carrying on with a woman on the internet and recently tried to kiss a woman after he had had a few drinks. He said that he will always enjoy the lifestyle and that he misses it. Where do I go from here? I feel awful and very uncertain about my future with him.

I don’t need to have sex with other people to feel happy and fulfilled. I love my husband. Obviously he does not feel the same way.

Will time away from swinging help to get it off of his mind? I want him to be happy with me and our marriage. I don’t want to feel like he resents me or worry that he is going to cheat on me to get what he wants, needs and misses.

– Lynne, Texas

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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