When Swinger Sex Goes Horribly Wrong…
Unfortunately, most of us are driven by feelings and impulses that have little to do with rational thought. So then here we are, for whatever reason, in a three or four-some with our significant other being sexual, or maybe we are just swapping. Either way, we have added unpredictable dimensions into the intimate setting of our sexual and personal relationship with our partner.
What’s predictable about it is that someone will end up hurt. The “ground rules” will be broken and someone ends up feeling betrayed and hurt. But, because the boundaries of the relationships fidelity were broken by the entire process of “Swinging” already, the “acting out” partner feels like they have done nothing “wrong”.
Dan and Jennifer’s comments:
This is where we completely disagree. It is NOT guaranteed that someone will get hurt.
In a swinging relationship, the only time someone gets hurt is when one person breaks the rules or is dishonest, or is not open about their feelings. It’s critical to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings before, during, and after any sexual experience with another individual or couple.
We can’t say this enough! Swinging or Open Relationships are only for couples who are VERY secure in their relationship and have enough self confidence to prevent jealousy issues. Swinging is NOT a relationship fix…
After all, the injured partner already said it’s “okay” to have sex with other people.
Often this ends the relationship and on painful terms, at least for the partner whose ground rules were broken.
Linda and Mark had been dating for about four years, and they had a very active, passionate sex life. Mark had encouraged Linda to try all kind of things that had been outside the range of her previous history, but because they pleased Mark, Linda enjoyed them. Over time, Mark pushed the boundaries even further. He wanted to experience having sex with two women at one time.
Linda admitted to being curious about what that would be like, so they found a willing partner. For a while, they enjoyed this three-some with jubilance and it added a lot to their excitement for each other. When they were not having sex with her, they were fantasizing about having sex with her. Before long, though, Linda found herself wanting time with the girl alone, without Mark. She didn’t see the harm in it, after all, having sex with another woman was not breaking their marital vows was it?
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