Fortunately, astrology can lend some insight into the desire for freedom versus security.

Each sign of the zodiac has a different energy, and can be sorted into one of two camps: extroverted and introverted. Extroverted types need to be out and about, mixing it up with lots of people to feel fulfilled. Introverts need time alone, and don’t easily come out of their shells. They still need people, but are more likely to have a trusted few than a whole entourage.

Fire and Air Signs

Fire and Air signs tend to be extroverts. The Fire signs include Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.

Aries has a need for novelty, and ploughs ahead to act on their own desires, regardless of the feelings of anyone else. This pioneering sign hates to be controlled or held back, so will not respond well to ultimatums that they spend every night at home. Aries is ruled by planet Mars, the god of war … so you don’t want to get in this sign’s way!

Leo loves to be the life of the party and thrives on attention and adulation. However, they also require loyalty, and will not take kindly to your request to spend a quiet weekend tending to the garden. Whereas Aries will just do his or her own thing, Leo will insist on dragging you to the next party to be their arm candy. In other words, this Sun-ruled sign cannot be too independent, because Leo depends on others to reflect back their brilliance.

Sagittarius, on the other hand, is a wild horse that cannot be restrained. This sign, ruled by the largest planet in the solar system, needs to explore the world! Hungry for sport and adventure, Sag absolutely cannot be held down in one place for too long — unless they’re committed to completing a PhD in World Religions. Although they place importance on morality and ethics, these ideals are not going to keep them faithful if you insist on keeping them home under lock and key.

The Air Signs

The Air signs include Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.

Gemini needs lots of stimulation or they get easily bored. So unless you’re the most interesting and entertaining person on the planet, be prepared to give Gem lots of room to converse with a variety of people. This sign is ruled by Mercury, the messenger, and requires a constant flow of information (gossip!) to feel satisfied. So give your Gemini partner ample time to talk on the phone and tap away on IM, and they’ll be happy.

Libra is an exception to the freedom rule. Although an outgoing air sign, Libra is ruled by Venus, goddess of love. The Libran absolutely needs a one-on-one relationship to feel fulfilled, and especially the kind that feels like an equal, fair partnership. Libra will want to spend a lot of time with you, and if you insist on a boys or girls night out, then Libra will want to do the same, just to balance the scales.

Aquarius is the most independent sign of the zodiac. The sign of friends and groups is rather detached and impersonal, preferring the company of many over deep intimacy with one. You’re more likely to find Aquarius rallying for political change than for more heart-to-heart talks. This sign won’t mind if you spend much of your time somewhere else, and will insist on the same lee-way from you.

Earth and Water Signs

Earth and Water signs tend to be introverts. The Earth signs include Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.

Taurus seeks stability and security, and often does so by acquiring money and beautiful objects … including you. Since you’re more possession than person, Taurus won’t be willing to let you leave their sight.

Virgo is a bit more flexible, but still needs you to be part of their daily routine. And besides, this sign loves to serve … and how can they feel useful if there’s no one to help? If you insist on going out, at least let Virgo inspect your outfit for stray threads and lintballs.

Capricorn will give you more freedom, if only because he or she is too busy putting in 10 hour days at work to spend time with you. But they expect you to have dinner on the table when they get home! In addition, their reputation matters a great deal, so Capricorn doesn’t want you out on the town, making a fool of yourself … because it reflects poorly on them.

The Water Signs

The Water signs include Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.

Cancer is the sign of home and family. Don’t even bother spreading your wings, because this Moon-ruled sign wants to cuddle on the couch with you, watching Turner Classic Movies.

Scorpio wants to control you, and will hire a detective to track your every move … so watch your back! But really, this sign feels so intensely — and is so aware of the dark side of human nature — that it is difficult for them to trust. Once they do, they refuse to share you with anyone else.

Pisces may not even be aware that you’re gone, because they’re too wrapped up  in their own fantasies, visualizations and drug-induced stupors. They live by the mantra, “Let go and let God,” so this sign is unlikely to be possessive. However, it’s possible Pisces will play the poor-me martyr if you spend too much time away, because they have problems with self-worth.

So there you have it. If you want freedom, choose an Air or Fire sign. If you’re a homebody, choose an Earth or Water sign. Astrology is much more complex than outlined above — you’ll want to know the sign of your partner’s Moon and Venus to get the real skinny on their relationship style. But if your Cancer pouts when you go on a weekend trip with the guys or girls, at least you’ll know why!

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Many women wish that their men were more emotionally available, yet when a man cries or shows sensitivity, he is perceived as weak or un-masculine.

In the culture of the U.S., men have been raised to be John Wayne, not Johnny Depp. A guy’s effete mannerisms make one wonder about his sexual orientation; a tear shed makes him a sissy. Boys may be raised with classic lines like "Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about."

Face it…

Despite more flexibility in our culture regarding gender, boys are still expected to be boys. Emotions are considered the territory of girls, and boys are only supposed to focus on playing in the dirt (or playing dirty) and developing their analytical skills. It’s more important for a guy to diagnose a problem with his carburetor than identify the source of his melancholy.

Despite the weight of upbringing and social mores, some boys still turn into "girly men," as the famous Hanz and Franz SNL sketch goes. And it has nothing to do with being gay or straight.

Why is that?

The Astrology of Feeling

In astrology, the twelve signs of the zodiac are broken up into four elements, or ways of processing experience. These elements are Earth, Fire, Air and Water. The Earth sign man is a solid, dependable type who only believes in what he can hold with his two hands. The Air sign man is logical and verbal, more into information and dialogue than inner experience. The Fire sign man is outgoing and inspirational, channeling his passion into creativity and sharing his message with the world. And then there’s the Water sign man.

The Water sign man is either a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. These are all deeply emotional signs. Sometimes a Water sign man will have a tough exterior, but he is simply protecting his vulnerable insides from the world. After all, both the crab (Cancer) and scorpion (Scorpio) have exoskeletons. Do you know any men who withdraw into their shells and then defend themselves by side-stepping (Cancer) or stinging you (Scorpio)? Or how about men who create confusion by stirring up the waters with their fins (Pisces)? All these sea animals have developed ways to survive, and it is no different for Water sign men.

Unfortunately, with all the pressure to be "real men," these Water sign guys often rely on their defenses to keep their strong feelings at bay. A Pisces may resort to alcohol, a Scorpio may play power games, a Cancer may become zealously attached to his country and his local football team.

However, if you gain a Water sign man’s trust and help him feel secure, he will open up a world of feeling to you… and your relationship will be much richer for it.

Featured Author, Jeffrey Kishner is a professional astrologer and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He blogs about the astrology of relationships at Seduction Central, and created the Seduction Central Social Network and Forum, where members discuss astrological compatibility. Subscribe to his blog’s feed or get updates via email.

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Does that mean he doesn’t love you?

Without hearing the utterance, you may wonder what’s going on in his skull. Is he just sticking around for the sex? Has he developed an intricate plan to win you over and then tear your heart out, just for the fun of it?

Men are hard to read. They are not as verbal as women, and some have been raised on the belief that “actions speak louder than words. “Chalk it up to genetics, culture (nature versus nurture) … it doesn’t matter. You just want to know if you’re a man’s final destination, not just a rest stop along the highway.

Fortunately, knowledge of your guy’s zodiac sign can help you determine if he’s the strong, silent type … or if he’s just taking you for a ride. The twelve Sun signs symbolize different ways that people express themselves. Some men are primarily emotional, others live in their heads. Look to your guy’s Sun sign below to learn how likely he is to say, “I love you.”

Air Signs: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius

These mental, sociable signs vary greatly in their expressions of love. Gemini may say, “I love you” Wednesday, only to have changed his mind on Friday. He is a fickle man, and it is hard to hold his interest for long. Libra, on the other hand, is the romantic type, and will not only express his affection with “I love you,” but also with songs, flowers, chocolates and reservations at fine restaurants. Aquarius will say “I love you … like I love all my friends!”

Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn

More than any other element, earth signs will express their love with actions more than words. After all, the earth element is all about what you can actually hold in your hands. Taurus will express affection by doing simple things for you, probably tasks that involve physical labor. Status-conscious Capricorn will buy you diamonds. Virgo is the exception — he does thrive on being helpful, but his sign is ruled by communication planet Mercury. He’s likely to put his love into words, but he’ll also alert you to the spinach lodged between your teeth.

Fire Signs: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius

These inspiring guys prefer drama, action and adventure over articulate expressions of their love. Leo (the exception) is most likely to exclaim his affection, preferably with Shakespearian prose in front of a crowded room. Sagittarius will take you along the entire Appalachian Trail, but may fear that “I love you” means having to stay home and watch network TV. Aries will say those three words only if he had to conquer another guy (or your own resistance) to get to you.

Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces

This emotional guy cannot help but fall in love — whether and how he expresses it is another matter. Cancer will have no problem saying he loves you, as long as you’re the type of girl he can bring home to mother. Pisces will try to say “I love you,” but he’ll instead confuse you with metaphors and musical snippets. Scorpio will say it after he’s investigated your financial assets and relationship history — and then only if you’ve signed your life away to him in blood.

So if your guy doesn’t say “I love you,” recognize that he may not have been designed to verbally acknowledge the feelings, whether he’s too attached to his independence or he’s just plain inarticulate. What counts more than the words is that he’s doing what he’s doing with you.

After all, he could be tongue-tied with someone else right now.

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The Breakup 

If you weren’t witty enough to keep her engaged, Gemini probably dropped you faster than you could open the New York Post to Page Six. Or maybe she balked at your attempts to stop her from chatting with every other patron at Happy Hour. Gemini needs the freedom to converse and satisfy her curiosity, and if you couldn’t give her that, there was little reason for her to stick around.

So now you’re pining for her, having realized that your life is a bore without someone to keep you on top of the latest celebrity news, as well the the tedious (but adorable) details of her day at work.

Winning a Gemini Back

Surely she will have re-entered the dating world in no time, so you’ve got competition. And unfortunately, familiarity is not an asset when it comes to this sign. In fact, you have some homework to do. If you paid attention, you know what interests her, so the first thing you do is pretend you’re preparing for Jeopardy, and imagine Alex Trebek is quizzing you on all of Gemini’s favorite categories of interest. If you can’t jazz her with your trivial knowledge, then perhaps you should set your sights on another sign.

If you’re a serious, one-on-one person, you’ll have to stretch yourself socially. Sitting quietly next to her at a dinner table while she jabbers on with friends will not excite her nearly as much as you being somewhat unavailable to her. You need to passionately talk about your own interests with someone else, so she feels there’s more to you than she assumed. Being slightly out of reach will make you more interesting. Plus, there’s nothing worse to a Gemini than being held in one place for too long, so lay off the possessiveness!

If you’re lucky, she’ll have returned to your embrace. The next challenge is to keep her there. As a wise sage once sang, "If you love somebody, set them free." 

Featured Author, Jeffrey Kishner is a professional astrologer and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He blogs about the astrology of relationships at Seduction Central, and created the Seduction Central Social Network and Forum, where members discuss astrological compatibility. Subscribe to his blog’s feed or get updates via email. 

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Two Types of Losing

Sometimes you want to get rid of someone who won’t let go, and other times you screw up so bad you forfeit the person you cherished. Let’s cover both scenarios:

When a Taurus Man Won’t Leave

No matter how many times you’ve said "it’s over" — you need to take matters in your own hands. The Bull can be possessive, and letting go of you can be as hard as parting with the keys to his Range Rover. Or he may take you for granted, if you’ve become a fixture of his environment … like a cozy armchair. To make him turned off to you — so that he thinks it’s his decision to call it quits — be unpredictable (and tasteless) enough to make him supremely uncomfortable. Don’t return his calls, texts or emails with any regular frequency. If you live with him, come home late when you told him otherwise. Spend money in your shared account without consulting him. Buy a really ugly sculpture. Try to smell bad. Eventually, he’ll be so fed up with you that he’ll pack his bags … and his numerous collections. 

When You’ve Lost A Taurus Man 

If you’ve lost a Taurus against your will, you may have inadvertently turned him off by doing exactly what irks him the most. As much as you loved him, your unreliability — and lack of appreciation for the simple things in life — drove the nail in your coffin. It’s hard to say if he’ll let you back into his arms once he’s let you go, but the best way to turn things around is by becoming more grounded. You don’t have to give up your spontaneity, but you may need to channel it into activities that appeal to him — a hike along an unmarked trail, attendance at a vintage toy convention. And bringing home a box of chocolates always works!   

Featured Author, Jeffrey Kishner is a professional astrologer and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He blogs about the astrology of relationships at Seduction Central, and created the Seduction Central Social Network and Forum, where members discuss astrological compatibility. Subscribe to his blog’s feed or get updates via email. 

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