Everyone has different fetishes and fantasies when it comes to sex. Its part of what makes us dynamic and charismatic as human beings.We all like different things.

Where do you draw the line though? Is there a fetish or fantasy that is wrong to take part in? Are there fetishes or fantasies that shouldn’t be satisfied? How do you know how much is too much? 

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

Is it weird if I like to knock my girlfriend out and have sex with her without her knowing?

 

– Dave, Ohio

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Two Consenting Adults

There are a few things you can look at when you’re trying to decide if your fetish or fantasy crosses the line. First of all, is the activity between two consenting adults?

That’s the biggie. If it’s an adult and an underage person, it definitely crosses the line. If it’s an adult and an unconsenting adult, it’s considered rape or date rape.

This can be if they’re saying no or if you’ve drugged them or knocked them out. Generally speaking, unless the sexual activity is being performed between two consenting adults, it is definitely too much. If you find yourself wanting or needing to be a part of a sexual activity that includes an underage person or an unconsenting adult, seek help. There are a number of good, unbiased counselors that can help you through what you’re experiencing.

Causing Harm

So you’ve passed the first test. Your sexual fetish or fantasy is something that takes place between two consenting adults. The second test is whether or not it causes a great deal of harm

to a person. Sure, a little pain and pleasure never really hurt anyone, but you need to take a look at whether you’re doing serious damage…

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