Are You Dating Mr. Or Mrs. Maybe? Stop It Already!
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Iâm not sure where exactly it happened.
But somewhere along the way our culture decided that âdatingâ was synonymous with âhaving sexâ. At the very least itâs viewed as such in the narrow minds of enough of the general population to keep tons of self-conscious people all over the fruited plain from dating more than one person at a time.
Why we’re dating one person at a time
And if thatâs the prevailing mindset, the way most of us operate is understandable.
After all, most women are more than just a little protective of their reputations.
Meanwhile, on the guysâ side, thereâs a deep-seated fear of being branded a âplayerââŚoften easily rooted out by a few well-placed questions from a woman on a first date.
What does all this fear lead to? You guessed it. People tend to date one person at a timeâsometimes for months or even yearsâonly to ultimately decide that the person theyâre with isnât The One.
Why it doesn’t work
So my question is a simple one.
How in the world is someoneâman or womanâsupposed to effectively figure out what he or she even really wants from âMr. or Mrs. Rightâ when he or she is burning so many cycles hanging out with âMr. or Mrs. Maybeâ?
And can we change our collective mindset to one where âdatingâ several people at once isnât only acceptable, but preferable?
For starters, I think itâs time to broaden our perspective. I think itâs time for a real, live re-evaluation of exactly what âdatingâ should be for.
What dating shouldn’t be
First of all, letâs clarify what dating shouldnât be.
For starters, it shouldnât necessarily be âpractice marriageâ, especially not on the first date (!) or shortly thereafter. If you are still looking at every date as a âmarriage interviewâ, I wouldnât be surprised if you ran into beaucoup frustrating, if not flat-out awkward moments out there.
Second of all, dating doesnât have to be placed in a box with a particular label on it. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Dating in the 21st century
If youâre into high-pressure, formal mood-killers like Ye Olde Dinner And A Movie, welcome to the 21st century. First dates should be more interactive and funâŚwith plenty of opportunity to actually get to know each other.
After all, letâs face it. Unless youâre trying to intentionally limit your dating pool to people you work with and/or those whom your mother sets you up with, the âget to know youâ part is going to be paramount.
And with literally everyone jumping on the online dating bandwagon these days, who in their right mind is still hell-bent on âdipping their pen in the company inkâ? There are 3 billion MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) out thereâŚmost of them single!
How to date online
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