Ask Dan and Jennifer » Dating Tips

How To Stay OUT Of The Friend Zone!

Chase Christopher — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:00:29 +0000

Dating tips are essential if you want to keep yourself away from a woman’s friend zone. THIS is what you need to know if you want to date her, not be her buddy!

The friend zone is not a place that you ever want to find yourself when you are interested in a woman. This aspect of dating can easily change you from a potential date to a person that gets the occasional hello.

Avoiding the dreaded friend zone is essential to keeping the spark alive in your budding relationships. If a lady only wants to be your acquaintance, then you need to cut her loose. However, there are ways that you can keep yourself from falling into this familiar path in the future. Here are some dating tips to help you stay out of the hated friend zone in the future.

Accept The Fact That She Is Not Interested

There are women out there that will never be interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Accept the fact that she is not interested. While this is not something that any guy wants to do, it’s a one of the best dating tips out there for finding a woman that is interested in having a relationship with you.

If you are clinging to a woman who has put you in a friend zone, you are wasting your time trying to woo her back. This is one aspect of life where being a quitter actually has its advantages. Nip it in the bud before you start begging and pleading for another chance.

Work On Yourself

Do you work out? Do you eat healthy? One of the best ways to gain confidence is to improve yourself before you try to date somebody. If you meet a lady that you like and you really want to impress her, give yourself a couple of weeks to improve various aspects of your life before you pursue her.

Two weeks can do a lot to somebody’s physique and eating healthier can give you the energy that you want throughout the day. Having more energy will show through your personality and the way that you carry yourself. Feeling good about yourself is an attractive quality for women, so act accordingly.

Meet New People

Getting stuck in a friend zone can occur when somebody knows you all too well. If you have been chummy with a lady for a long time, she might not think of you as a potential date. There is a reason that a staple of the most common dating tips is to meet new people. Meeting new people is exciting and allows you to play off of your own mystique.

Going out and meeting newer women will get you out of the friend zone and put into the hot seat of being a potential long term relationship. If you know the woman you like really well, this could also make her very jealous. While you should not do this with mal-intent, it is an effective means of getting her to think about you as a date instead of a “bud.”

Learn To Flirt

Some guys think that flirting is something that you’re born with, while others think that it can be learned through certain dating tips. The friend zone is dependent on being able to flirt. Teasing her a little bit about things that don’t matter is a great way to flirt with her.

Don’t tell her that her eyes are too far apart, but picking up on something little could get her laughing. Start small and work your way up to making more sexualized comments. Once you have achieved this properly, she should be looking at you in a whole new light. Be bold with her and you will never end up as an acquaintance again.

Slight Touches

Slight touches can be a great way to emphasize that you are not looking for a platonic relationship. Touching her arm as you laugh with her or putting your hand on the small of her back as she goes through a door are some of the best ways to show that you are sexually interested.

If she does not respond to these methods or responds negatively, back off immediately. The last thing that you want to do is make her uncomfortable. If she touches you back then you’re in the clear. Women do not touch guys that they don’t want to date.

Being in the friend zone can be one of the most frustrating aspects of dating. Getting out of it is tough and some methods work better than others. Turning yourself from a platonic relationship into a date is not always easy, but it is possible in most situations. Follow these guidelines and you should start to see a vast improvement of her perception of you.

Do You Suffer From The “Jerk” Paradox?

Bobby Bradshaw — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:00:51 +0000

Dating tips don’t often tell you what to do with the woman you’re really into is dating a cocky guy. She’d be better of with you, but just what do you do?

What Is The “Jerk Paradox?”

Have you ever known a hot girl – maybe you had a crush on her – but she was dating a guy who was a complete ass?

Maybe you felt like she’d be better off you – you would have treated her like a queen – but she stuck with the mean guy no matter what he did to her?

I think we’ve all seen this happen – a lot.

We’ve all seen a beautiful girl who is CRAZY over a man jerk who don’t pay her much attention.

Heck, I’ve even seen beautiful girls who could have their choice of great guys stick with dudes who were downright ABUSIVE! I used to say, “why isn’t that girl with a fella like me? Or ANY other man for that matter?”

It just didn’t make sense.

But then finally, I realized what was going on.

Why Mean Men Get The Girls While Nice Ones Finish Last

Have you heard the famous Chris Rock comedy bit about guys “offering d*ck”?

It’s REALLY funny. Basically what Chris points out is that every woman in the world, since she was 13 years old, has had pretty much man she’s ever met offering her sex!

He goes on to say how every time a guy talks to a girl, he is really just trying to get into her pants.

“Can I get that for ya” translates into “How ’bout some d*ck?”

“Can I help you with that?” translates into “Can I help you with some d*ck?”

Too funny! And let me tell you, this is truer than all the dating tips in the world!

Every woman you know – especially if she’s attractive – has men THROWING THEMSELVES at her 10 times a day!

So if you approach a woman in the WRONG WAY – which is any way that DOESN’T make her work for it – she automatically throws you in the same category as every other wimp she has met, and she automatically forgets about dating you.

Why Cocky Men Never Have This Problem

The thing about guys who are mean is that they NATURALLY approach, talk to, and deal with women in a way that is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than the dozens of other guys trying to get into her pants.

It’s very subtle. You actually might not even see the difference unless it was pointed out to you, but the RESULT is very different.

It’s different because it sparks a woman’s curiosity, then creates a subtle challenge that makes her feel like she has to WORK for his attention, not the other way around.

This type of challenge is very addicting to a woman. Women LOVE games and solving puzzles – it’s the reason they read all of those mystery novels – so when they meet a guy who is a challenge they just cant get enough of him.

How To Get These Same Smoking Hot Women - Without Being An Ass!

If you can make a woman feel like she has to WORK FOR IT, it gets her chasing you. She starts to see YOU as the “catch” and gets very excited about the possibility of being with you.

It’s this simple little thing that separates the guys who get the 10′s from the guys who don’t.

It NOTHING to do with being full of yourself and being mean to women. And EVERYTHING to do with being a CHALLENGE.

Easy Tips For Building Confidence

Romy Morgan — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:00:57 +0000

Dating tips are all about how to improve your game, and the easiest way to do it is to get confidence! But just how do you do it? These dating tips will help!

Why Confidence Is So Important

Confidence is one of the most important aspects of dating. Building confidence is not difficult when you know how to use your best assets. Having self-assurance can easily boost your perception in the eyes of others and can have an impact on your work life as well as your dating life.

Creating a persona of poise can turn nerve-racking first dates and approaches into attainable scenarios by giving you the tools needed to be sure that positive outcomes are possible. Here are a few easy techniques for building your confidence.

Change Up Your Wardrobe

When you look good you feel good. Changing your wardrobe is one of the best ways to boost your self-confidence. When you change your wardrobe people will take notice. Your clothes are one of the first things that people notice about you. If you are going on a date in ratty jeans and a shirt that was too tight in the 8th grade, it’s time for an update.

A suggestion that a lot of guys do not take seriously is the consultation of a stylist. Stylists know what women like and they know the trends of the fashion industry. They will also be able to tell you where to shop without breaking the bank.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

Being hurt or humiliated by an ex-girlfriend can shatter any man’s self-image. Let go of past relationships. It doesn’t matter if an ex cheated on you or said hurtful things, you have qualities that a great girl is going to admire. Let go of the past and look forward to the future.

It’s only natural to feel like you’re never going to meet another girl or that you might be alone for the rest of your life. This unreasonable hopelessness is known as “catastrophic thinking” and can render you with the inability to approach women. Let go of your past relationships and think of them as a learning experience. It’s time to move on. Thinking about the future can give you a fresh perspective on your love life.

Get Healthy & In Shape To Feel GOOD About Yourself!

If you already work out then you’re a step ahead of the rest. However, if you are not working out you need to start now. Working out is a great stress reliever and can build your confidence immeasurably. Join a gym or just start running in the afternoons.

When you start to feel like you’re never going to meet anybody or that you’re not good enough for women, working out can make these thoughts fly out of your head instantaneously. Joining a gym is also one of the best ways to start meeting a new clientele of women.

Create A List Of Qualities You Want In A Woman

Creating a list of qualities that you want in a woman will help you weed out bad dates. Just taking any old date is not recommended. Knowing that you have no interest in a girl and that you’re just taking her out to try to make yourself feel better is selfish. When you are picky about whom you go out with you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Desperation is something that a lot of guys feel after recent break ups or being alone for a long time. Clinging to a girl that you know you have no future with is a recipe for disaster. Make a list of all the qualities you want in a woman and then stick to that list. When you find a girl that has most or all of the qualities, you will feel a lot better about your choice.

Laugh!!

Laugh about past missteps with former girlfriends or dates. Laughing can easily lighten the situation and take all of the darkness out of your thinking. Don’t take your dating too seriously. If a girl turns you down, laugh about it. Any girl that turns you down just isn’t right for you. Don’t fall into the cliché of saying “her loss.”

While you might say this to build your confidence, it almost always comes back to haunt your mind. You will start thinking, “Is it really her loss? Or is it mine?” Just laugh the situation off and move on. There are a lot of women out there that you can make happy. Every misstep is a step closer to finding somebody that you can connect with on a deeper level.

Confidence is a vital part of dating. When you do not feel comfortable enough with yourself it will show through your mannerisms. Stick to these suggestions and you will start seeing results in as little as a couple of days.

4 Hot Dating Tips For The Modern Age

Chase Christopher — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:00:18 +0000

Dating tips are a dime a dozen from family, friends and loved ones. The problem with this is that a lot of people haven’t been in the dating world for the last 15-20 years. If you are tired of getting the same advice from Aunt Judy about how to land a girlfriend, you need to be in the know with how the dating landscape has changed over the last couple of years.

Taking different aspects into account can easily garner you a great date with minimal effort. Here are a few tips to help you through the digital age of women’s liberation.

1. Use Facebook

Facebook is the standard for proving that you’re a great guy. One of the best dating tips out there is to get your Facebook account updated right now. Facebook is going to be a way for you to show off pictures of your family and friends so the girl knows that you’re not a creep. When you meet a girl and get her phone number, she will probably ask for your last name. This is so she can look up your profile and make sure that you’re not a hermit. There are even specific dating methods that focus on Facebook for picking up girls.

The Facebook Method talks about setting up your profile like a dating profile so if you meet a girl she will see your best attributes when she’s checking up on you. Update your Facebook account with recent pictures and remove any pictures of your ex-girlfriends. If you have pictures of yourself with other girls, make sure that you put a caption showing that she’s a friend.

2. Pay The Small Bill

Let’s say that you meet a girl and ask her out for a drink. While dating tips of the past tell guys that they should pay the entire bill, this is not recommended. Pay for a small bill and let her pay for herself if you are getting dinner. If you are meeting a girl for a drink, pay for the drink. A drink will cost you anywhere from $4-$9 dollars. Having a $12 tab collectively is not going to leave you penniless.

If you are meeting her for dinner and she insists on paying for herself, let her. As cold as it may seem, she might not want a second date, so there is not reason that you should be shelling out when she is insisting on paying for herself anyways. Women have good jobs, most of which are going to be better than your own, so let her pay. Some men think this is a power play when in reality she just wants to pull her own weight.

3. Be Chivalrous In Other Ways

Traditional dating tips focus on chivalry as a staple of all dating. Even though we live in an age of women’s liberation, they still want to feel like a lady when you take them out. Holding doors, dressing appropriately and pulling her chair out for her are seen as chivalrous acts. Make sure that you are being chivalrous with all dates. Even if you’re not interested in going on a second date, she might have some single friends. In a lot of ways, dating can be comparable to business.

Never burn a bridge just because you don’t see a future with her. Keep in touch and she might tell her friends that you’re a great guy, but there just wasn’t any chemistry. You never know. She might try to set you up based on how well you treat her throughout the date.

4. Be Actionable

Letting a girl down easy by telling her you’re going to call might seem like one the best dating tips, but it’s not recommended. If you tell a girl that you’re going to call her again, call her again. Even if you aren’t sure if there’s chemistry, call her anyway. More than likely, she will pick up on whether or not you’re interested. You don’t want to miss out on a potential relationship just because you never called her back. Dates don’t always go the way that we want.

Having a bad day can easily reflect in a first or second date. Being on the fence isn’t an excuse. Play it out until you are sure that you don’t want to be with her. Telling a girl that you’re going to call when you know that you won’t is not fair to either of you. If you really don’t have any interest in seeing her again, say something like “It was nice meeting you.” This is much easier better than “I’ll call you this week” or “See you never.

6 Dating Tips For Young Professional Men

Chase Christopher — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:00:02 +0000

Dating tips for professional fellas aren’t the same as those that most guys use. If you’re just getting into the working world, check out these dating tips!

If you have recently become a young professional male, you probably need some dating tips to help you transition from college dating. College dating is all about doing things on the cheap. When you’re a young professional male dating is no longer a couple of MGD’s in a field.

You are expected to class things up a little bit. Getting a crash course in dating tips for a young professional male will keep you from looking ridiculous when you ask out a girl that has a decent job. This can also help you look professional when out and about. Here are some dating tips for young professional males.

1. Pay Attention To Your Wardrobe

One of the best dating tips you can get is to make an immediate change to your wardrobe. Your wardrobe is going to be a dead giveaway of either having a good job or being a bum. You don’t have to put on your Sunday’s best when you’re doing yard work, but having nicer clothing will separate you from the rest of the guys vying for her attention. Don’t think that you have to wear Brooks Brothers to look good. Shopping at a retail outlet can easily save you some money on your wardrobe. The hierarchy should be nice shirts, decent pants and really nice shoes.

2. Keep In Mind Your Profession Doesn’t Define You

Congratulations! You made it through college and now you have a job. Yes, your job is important to you, but that doesn’t mean that you have to talk about it all the time. A job is something that can say a lot about you, but it doesn’t define you. When you are first starting out in the job market you probably will not be a VP of marketing.

If you do get an amazing job right out of college then you’re above the rest. But just because you have a good job doesn’t mean that the girl is going to be impressed. Successful guys approach beautiful women all the time. You need to separate yourself from the self-involved guys that always approach women by appealing to them on a real level. Don’t make your job the topic of every conversation.

3. Be Current

As a young professional male, one of the best dating tips to consider is brushing up on your current events. Current events are one of the best ways to easily have conversations with women. When you are in the know about current events, TV shows, movies and other aspects of popular culture and news you show that you’re interested in the world. Women don’t want a guy that is living in his own world. Make it a point to stay current with the various aspects of the news to alleviate any awkward silences during a date.

4. Leave The Frat House Behind

As mentioned before, you’re not in college anymore. You’re a young professional male and it’s time that you act like one. As far as dating tips go, being what you are instead of playing the part is one of the best tips to give. No more blackout drinking, staying out until all hours of the night or living in a pig pen. Ditch all of your old habits and start being a young professional man. This means going to bed at a reasonable hour, abstaining from alcohol regularly and keeping a professional attitude in all aspects of your life.

5. Be Active

It’s all too easy to work a 40-hour week and then just come home to lie around on the couch. Women don’t want a guy that doesn’t have hobbies. Find a couple of activities that you like doing and keep up with them.

Get into a routine of daily trips to the gym or weekly movies with your friends. When you have a hobby it’s much easier to get a potential date involved. This is one of the best dating tips for young guys because it leads to common interests and teaching the girl a new skill. This will also keep you from being clingy and needy.

6. Don’t Be The Bank

You have a great job, but that doesn’t mean that you’re her personal ATM. Paying on the first date is pretty customary. If she insists on paying for herself then let her, but if she lets you pay for her then go ahead and pay for the meal. You’ve got a new job and it’s probably the first time in your life that you have disposable income. Treat her to dinner or drinks and don’t make a big deal out of it. However, the last thing that you want to do is be her bank.

This is one of the many dating tips that are universal to all aspects of the dating world, but especially true for young professionals. Your money is your money. How you choose to spend it is your choice. If you want to make a good impression buy her dinner, but don’t make it an expectation on her part.

How To Meet Your Dream Girl

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 14:00:18 +0000

Dating tips can help you to find the woman you’ve been looking for all this time. Here’s what you need to know if you want to find Mrs. Right!

Dream girl. Those are the words on every guys lips (or other parts). There are as many different definitions of what a dream girl is as there are stars in the sky. We all want one, even though we all define it differently. You’ll need a few dating tips to make the search easier, more fun and more importantly to prevent burnout and frustration.

Becoming A Guy Who Gets The Girl

What’s the ultimate dating tip weapon for guys out there? It’s simple, not easy. If you want to get the dream girl, you have to become a dream guy. You need to be the guy girls want to be with. Think about it. If you want a girl who is a “ten” that’s fine. But why should she choose you? She can have anyone or anything she wants. Men and women are literally throwing themselves at this woman on a daily basis (sometimes more than once a day). If you want a woman who can stop traffic with her looks, you’d better be the guy who can stop traffic.

Be confident and funny. You may have heard this before, but we will say it again: life is short (if you do it right), so have fun. Enjoy your own life or she won’t. Yes, it’s true: sports cars don’t hurt, but you don’t need them. A girl who’s with you because of your money or car is someone you don’t want. That means you want a girl who will love you for you, because if a golddigger finds someone with more money or a better car, she’ll be off like a prom dress. So make your dream girl an offer she can’t refuse. Make your world amazing and fun and exciting. She won’t want to be with anyone else, even if they do have more money or a better car.

Have A Fun, Radiant Personality

How do you create that? Well, it’s funny you should ask. You should have a have radiant personality. So many get caught up or hung up on what to say or do. They can’t think of anything so they freeze or miss opportunities. Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter. Nobody cares what you say or do. People remember how you make them feel. It may be hard to believe, but it’s really true. It doesn’t matter what you say or do.

Make sure to have fun. Everywhere. Women are different creatures than men. Girls are addicted to guys who make them feel good. So above all, make sure to have fun at all times, whenever possible. Because when you do, you’ll find yourself meeting women everywhere, and it will be effortless. Why? Because beautiful women are everywhere and all the world is your oyster. You don’t have to go to bars or any other specific place to meet women, though we’re not saying you can’t go there. When you’re having fun everywhere, you’ll be attracting women anywhere.

Have A Sense Of Humor

Don’t take anything too seriously. You know what? Meeting your dream girl isn’t driving the space shuttle. And if you are piloting the shuttle? That’s odd. Shouldn’t you be paying attention to what you’re doing? How are you accessing the internet in the space shuttle? Those computers are like thirty years old! Why are you even piloting it? It’s been decommissioned!

Anyway, the point is this isn’t that dating is big a deal. Yes, dating tips are important to finding and keeping your dream girl, but lighten up. It’s not that serious. Make a game of it or if you don’t it’s going to feel like work. Then you’ll be forcing it and it will get even worse. Get rid of anyone or anything that doesn’t serve you. Take the pressure off yourself. Eliminate excuses and take action.

That alone will set you apart. Think about it. How many people who are overweight and say they’re going to lose weight actually do it? There you go. IF you can lose the weight metaphorically speaking, you will set yourself apart. Just do something. Get in the game grasshopper!

How To Meet Singles During The Day

Chase Christopher — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 17:00:20 +0000

Singles usually gather at night, right? Wrong! You can meet some awesome singles by going places during the day – here’s how!

Nightclubs and bars are the most common places to meet singles, but what if you want to meet singles during the day? Meeting them during the day can feel more natural and build confidence. Most guys like meeting girls during the day because of the games that women play in nightclubs in bars. If you would like to meet singles during the day, there are a few places that you can check out. Having a routine and using a little bit of logic is the best way to accomplish the task at hand. Here are a few ways that you can meet singles during the day.

At Coffee Shops

Almost everybody has their favorite drink at Starbucks, Caribou Coffee or any other coffee shop around your town. The best time to meet singles is during the morning rush. People tend to stop by their favorite coffee shop before work. 7-8:30 is a great time to pop into a coffee shop because there will be a line.

If you have a traditional 9-5 job then you will be dressed in business attire, which makes you look like you have it together. Chat up a girl that is in line with you. If she likes you, she will probably show up the next day at the same time. Keep to this routine and you will start to see regulars at the coffee shop.

At Grocery Stores

Grocery stores are like a hub for singles. Everybody has to buy food and you can easily meet singles at grocery stores with just a bit of detective work. A lot of guys don’t like approaching girls during the day out of fear that they will have a boyfriend. Checking the items in their cart can usually be a telltale sign of whether or not they have a boyfriend.

Look for men’s products with a quick glance before you talk to them. Don’t scour through their stuff, but take a second to look for male shaving cream, face wash or something else that would indicate that they have a boyfriend. If you don’t see these items then she could still have a boyfriend, but if you do see them she definitely does. Approach her with ease and ask if she has used a product in the aisle. This is an easy icebreaker that can lead to a conversation.

At Gyms

Gyms can be a great place to meet singles. With all of the endorphins in the room you will find girls more open to talking. The best way to meet single women at the gym is to use a machine after them. The problem with trying to meet singles at the gym is that they usually have their iPod on. Smile at a girl as she’s getting off of a machine and simply say “hey.” If she doesn’t answer you then her music is too loud. If she does answer you back then you can start talking about the different machines in the gym. Wing it and you’ll find her more open to talking than you thought.

At The Bank

Almost everybody has to go to the bank now and again. Heading to the bank to deposit money or take money out can be a great way to meet singles during the day. If you’re single, it’s best to forgo the convenient services of online banking and get out into the world. It’s too easy to hide behind modern technology.

Instead of using the ATM, go inside and deposit your check with a teller. This will force you to get in line and you never know when another single will be in front or behind you. Say hello to any girl that is waiting with you. Not only could this lead to a potential date, it will help the time pass as you are both waiting.

At A Dog Park

This one only applies to guys that have dogs. It’s no secret that a dog park is a haven for singles. The best thing about a dog park is that you are standing around as your dog plays with the other dogs. This leaves you open to conversation. Chat up a girl that is in the park. A lot of girls go to dog parks in hopes of finding singles. They might never admit it, but it’s true.

Girls love guys who have dogs because it shows compassion. Dog parks allow people with something in common to have light conversations. Ask her about the kind of breed her dog is. Ask her about local pet services or different products that you have tried. This is an easy icebreaker that you can implement with little hassle.

Simple Dating Tips With Excellent Results (For Women)

Chase Christopher — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:00:06 +0000

Dating tips are a dime a dozen. Everybody and their mother seem to think that they have the answer to finding the right guy for you. When you’re out with somebody that you don’t have a strong connection with, you probably let a few things slide in your dating etiquette. But what about when you meet somebody that you actually like?

Meeting somebody that you actually like and think you could have a connection with can put you on Cloud 9. When you meet somebody that you think you could have a future with all you can think about is not screwing it up. Here are some simple dating tips with excellent results to help you keep the guy you like.

The Right Attire

Men like women who have classic looks. This means leaving the animal prints and other out there fashions at home during the date. It doesn’t matter if you work on Wall St. or at McDonalds, there are fashions that are affordable for any income that will allow you to have a classic look. Black dresses and other classic fashions can be found at various outlet stores. Dress up for your date but make sure that you’re dressed appropriately. You won’t want to wear a black dress to an outdoor event.

Realize When He’s A Loser

If a guy picks you up and has no plans then he’s a loser. If a guy picks you up and he’s not dressed appropriately, he’s a loser. If a guy doesn’t ask you questions or only talks about himself, he’s obnoxious and a loser. Don’t date a guy that you have no connection with just because you think that he’s interested in you. You know that it’s not going to work out and it’s best to move on. Realizing that he’s a loser from the get-go is the best way to avoid getting hurt or annoyed during the date.

Ordering Etiquette

One of the best dating tips out there is to monitor what you’re ordering at a restaurant. When a date is going well you should be on your toes about the guy paying for your meal. Only order food, drinks or dessert when the guy orders these. This is a courtesy that a lot of women do not take part in. If you really want dessert, then offer to pay for it. He probably will not let you, but he will love the fact that you tried to pay for yourself. The last thing a guy wants to do is drain his bank account every time he takes you out. If you are still hungry after the date, raid the fridge when you get home.

Don’t Bring Up The Exes

Never, ever, ever bring up exes when you are out for the first couple of dates. This is one of the best dating tips or a reason. Bringing up the fact that your ex cheated on you or left you for your best friend is not something that a guy wants to hear. Baggage is extremely unattractive to men and when you talk about your exes it can come off that you’re not over the relationship yet. If you do bring up your exes, don’t expect another phone call from your date.

Be Easy

No, not that kind of easy. Be easy in the sense that if plans change or the restaurant has a long wait you are not a complete prima donna about it. Men don’t want a woman that they have to be on eggshells with. Comfort on a first date is pretty foreign and there can be shake-ups along the way. However, when you let things roll off your shoulders you can show him that you’re cool and collected. Making a big deal about something that you ordered can have him thinking that you’re high maintenance.

Dating tips can be extremely useful when you meet the right guy. Being easygoing during the date and having the right etiquette throughout is essential to getting a second date. Never go out with a guy that you know isn’t right for you from the beginning and do not talk about your ex-boyfriends during the first couple of dates.

Dressing appropriately for the date is essential and you should know exactly what you are going to do and where you are going beforehand. Taking these dating tips to heart should yield you some pretty great results. If you break them you could find yourself at the bottom of a bin of Vanilla on a Friday night instead of having a fun conversation with a guy who will treat you right.

Top 5 Reasons Pick Up Lines Don’t Work

Chase Christopher — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:00:42 +0000

Pick up lines aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Here’s why they almost always will cause you to fail at getting a girl!

Pick up lines are some of the worst methods getting a girl’s attention. When you use a line you show that you’re not only desperate, but also highly unoriginal. They are played out and make you come off as a tool. If you have ever thought about using a line, get it out of your head immediately. Here are the top 5 reasons they just don’t work.

1. They’re Generic

“Come here often?” The line doesn’t work primarily because it’s too generic. The fact that you’re using it on a girl that you don’t know shows that you don’t really care about her or have anything original to say. This shows her that you’re not a guy that separates himself from the pack. When you use an original “Hello” or “How are you” you don’t come off as a guy who bombards women at every bar with the same line. “How are you” and “Hello” are pretty common for every day conversation so this gives you a non-threatening way of approaching women.

2. They’re Needy

There is nothing more pathetic than a guy who is desperate. When you use pick up lines, you come off as a guy who only wants to have sex. This can be problematic for a guy who really does want to get to know a girl. When you use a line like “great dress, but it would look better on my bedroom floor,” you sound like a guy who is desperate for sex. Women want a guy that has options. When you use a line you look like you would just say the line to any girl that walks by. Avoid using pick up lines so you don’t look needy.

3. They’re Unoriginal

You know when you walk into a bar or a club and you see every guy or girl dressed the same? How many times do you think a girl has been given a pick up line and actually followed through on it? Women are hit on by guys every day and most guys stick with pick up lines because they are familiar. So when a girl hears you say something that she has heard a couple of hours before, she’s going to be even more put off by you. Pick up lines have been around forever. Chances are, she’s heard it and it’s not going to make her laugh or feel attracted to you.

4. They’re Creepy

How would you feel if some guy walked up to you and said that one about the angel falling from heaven? I would definitely be creeped out. This is exactly how women feel when some stranger walks up to her and delivers a line. Creeping a girl out is not the way to get a phone number. You want to build comfort and rapport with the girl in order to take a relationship to the next level. When you use a line, you’re going to creep her out and you will probably see it on her face.

5. They’re Not Funny

The fact of the matter is that pick up lines aren’t that funny. They can even be offensive to a lot of women. Do you think that you’re going to get her phone number after offending her? Probably not. It’s best to use a simple opener when approaching women. A pick up line can leave a bad taste in her mouth and leave you feeling like an idiot. If you think that it’s funny, stop yourself anyway.

Pick up lines are usually seen on TV or in movies, but think about the guy that is saying them. Is he the hero of the film or show? More than likely he’s the creep that nobody wants around. Pick lines are generic and will never come off as appealing to women. They have the ability to ruin a situation that could have become favorable with just a simple opener. Some pick up lines even have the ability to offend the girl and send her on her way after the first sentence is spoken.

Even if you do have a hilarious pick up line, she might not get the joke. This could leave you explaining why it’s funny and explaining a joke effectively creates an awkward situation. It’s best to leave you pick up lines at the door when you’re out approaching women. Use an environmental opener or mention something about her clothing to get a conversation started properly.

How To Meet More Hot College Girls

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:57:56 +0000

Dating tips aren’t just for older men playing the field – college guys want in on the action too!

Everyone wants one (or two, or three if you’re a rock star) of their own, but how do you get them? If a lack of hot college girls is your problem, take a look at some of the best dating tips around for meeting ladies at school Sit down, strap in and make sure you’ve got condoms, because we will have you knee deep in college hotties in no time!

Building Your Social Circle

So how do you get the hot girl of your dreams? Build your social circle first. Be the guy everyone wants to be with. You know that expression, “the life of the party?” That’s you, or it should be. We’re not saying be a clown or act like a train seal, but be confident and be the person people always want to be around. When everyone wants to be around you, inevitably, you will find yourself surrounded by hot girls.

Be less of an outsider. Once you’ve got that social circle going and they are at least associated with you in some way, you’re no longer some random creepy guy hitting on them. You’re now a friend of a friend, and someone who has a certain reputation and trust level. Once you have the trust level, you’re in.

Go to events, get in with fun positive people and let their good vibes rub off on you. Events are crucial. If you want to fish, you need to go to where the fish are. Going to a lake where tons of fishermen are trying to fish a pond, it’s great odds, no matter how many fish are in the lake. Generally, there won’t be that many fish in the lake, because so many people are fishing in it.

If you go to a lake that is teaming with fish and you’re the only fisherman (or one of the only fishermen) there, how good do you think your odds of catching a fish is? A lot better than it was. This is actually one of the most essential dating tips you’ll ever learn. Find out what kind of fish you’re looking for and find out what pond they are in and then go there. Yoga class, theatre, choir, you name it.

And when people have great vibes, people are drawn to them. You need those people in your life and they need to be your friends. They can only make your life better. In every way.

Don’t Hit On Everyone

Keep it casual, don’t hit on every hot girl. This isn’t brain surgery. You’re not trying to balance the budget or eradicate the national debt. You’re trying to hook up with hot girls. Don’t be too serious and relax. And be selective. If you hit on anything that moves, guess how that makes you look? Wanna guess? It’s not good, that’s a hint. Actually, it’s the answer, but whatever.

Use facebook, that’s why it’s there. Facebook was literally invented to hook up with hot college chicks. Social media is your friend. Use it. Hitting a girl up on Facebook can sometimes be less threatening that going up and asking for her number. Almost everyone accepts friend requests, so once she does, you’re in.

Go to class. If there is a hot girl in your class, sit next to her. Ask her for a pen, ask if she has a study guide for the exam. Better yet, ask her to study with you. Do something to start the conversation. Anything. Well, maybe not anything. No cheesy pickup lines. Allowed. Ever. No exceptions. Seriously. We mean it.

Ask her out to a lunch date on or off campus, that can be a fun, low pressure way to get the ball rolling. You should also go to fun crazy parties. Girls there have had a few drinks, they’re more relaxed, and more approachable

Bring Something To The Table

It’s also really important to have something to offer. Hot girls can have anyone they want. So why would they want you? To get the girl, you have to know who you are and what you bring to the table. You have something going for you that no one else on the planet does. Figure out what that is and develop it.

Join clubs, have hobbies. Hot girls like to see a man with balance. Why? Because if he’s got a lot going on and he’s got his act together, he’s much less likely to be needy and all over her (and not in a fun way)

Basically, it’s all about disarming the girl. Hot girls are always on def-con five. They have security walls up to protect themselves from losers, rapists, creeps and Tommy Lee. If you want to get in her pants or heart or mind, you’ll need to get her to lower the shields first.

How To Approach Men & Take Control Of Your Dating Life

Romy Morgan — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:00:02 +0000

Approach men instead of waiting for them to come up to you, and you can start taking over your dating life! Forget about being single for good!

Modern tradition implies that guys should make the first move. But what should we do if we see a guy that we think is cute and he’s not coming up to us? This is probably a very familiar situation for any woman. You’re in a bar or a nightclub and you a guy that you think is really cute. He’s standing by the bar or he is surrounded by his friends and he keeps looking over at you, but he’s not coming over. Most women don’t want to go after a guy because they think it makes them seem desperate. The fact of the matter is that most guys really appreciate a woman that approaches them. This shows confidence and can be very attractive. Here is a short guide on how to approach men.

Have A Reason

One of the pit falls that a lot of women fall into to their reasoning for approaching a guy. Most guys have some kind of routine that they use when they’re approaching women and so should you. Take notice of something around him or a piece of clothing that he’s wearing. If a guy is too shy to approach you, he will surely open up once you introduce yourself. He wants a reason to talk to you, but he’s probably just not that great with approaching women. When you walk up to him, have something to say and then let him take control of the situation. When you approach men, it is not as hard when you have something to say.

Sit Down

One of the best ways to alleviate any awkwardness is to sit down next to him if he’s at the bar. This implies that you are interested, but it creates a time constraint because you might just need a drink. When you approach men, sitting down can get the ball rolling very quickly. Simply sitting down and facing forward will show that you’re not desperate. After about 2 seconds, turn to him and say, “Hey, how are you?” or something simple. This gets a conversation started pretty easily.

Be Playful

When you are approaching men, the number one thing that you need to remember is to be playful and flirtatious. Make fun of something about him that won’t hurt his feelings. His shirt, his pants and his shoes are really easy to make fun of without hurting his ego. If you take it too far he’s going to walk away. If you are playful, he will play along and probably get you laughing. Approaching men is about having confidence. Allowing him to make fun of you a little bit will show that you’re confident enough to take a little jab.

Ask Him Questions

When you approach men, it is essential that you ask questions. When you ask questions you can get a feel for who he is as a person. Asking what he does, what he likes to do in his spare time and his age are just the tip of the iceberg. Get a little deeper so you can know if he’s worth giving your phone number to. Men like direct women and since you have already approached him he will probably ask for your number. If you don’t like the guy, don’t give him a fake number. Explain that you don’t think you’re a good match.

Ask For His Number

It’s pretty traditional for a guy to ask a girl for her number. If you really like the guy, ask for his. When a girl gives a guy her number, the guy wonders if she will actually pick up the phone or if the number is actually real. If you really like the guy, get his number and tell him you’re going to call. If you tell him that you’re going to call, then call. Guys love girls who follow up with what they say they’re going to do. More than likely, he will probably think that you just don’t want to give him your number. But when you do call he will respect you even more for it. Guys don’t want girls who play games.

When you approach men, it can be a great ego booster. Waiting around in a bar or a nightclub for somebody to walk up and talk to you can be disappointing. If you’re the kind of girl who has to beat the losers off with a stick, toss tradition and start approaching guys yourself. Once you meet a guy that you like your confidence will skyrocket and you’ll be well on your way to finding somebody to be happy with on your terms.

First Date Success Checklist

Chase Christopher — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 17:00:37 +0000

A first date can be nerve racking if you aren’t prepared. Too many dates go into the gutter because the guy is not prepared for the evening. If you have a first date coming up, there are a few things that you need to take into consideration before you walk out the door. First dates are first impressions. We all know how much a first impression counts so you want to make this as smooth as possible. Here is a first date checklist to help you get through the evening without incident.

Schedule The Date

Sounds pretty simple, right? Well, too many dates fall prey to guys forgetting times, where the girl lives and or what day the date is supposed to be on. Don’t miss out on an opportunity for a future relationship because you have forgotten pertinent information. Once you have scheduled the date, write it down on a calendar or set a reminder on your phone. Hopefully, the girl is good enough that you won’t forget any of this information. However, times and dates can get lost in translation. Make sure that she knows when the date is supposed to occur also.

Make Reservations

This might not apply if you’re simply going out for a drink or heading out to the lake for a day of hiking, but if you’re going to a restaurant, get a reservation. The last thing that you want to do is show up on a Saturday night to find out that there’s a 45-minute wait for a table. Double check the reservation the day of the date to make sure that the restaurant has not made a mistake. You’ll be glad that you did.

Invest In A GPS

How many times have you tried to wing it when looking for a store? This isn’t something that you want to do on a first date. Use a GPS and key in the address an hour before you have to be there. The GPS should give you the estimated time of arrival for the location. This can keep you on schedule. Plan on being a few minutes early. Don’t be 15 minutes early, but a couple of minutes gives you time if there is traffic or accident on the way.

Have Mints/Gum On Hand

It doesn’t matter if you’re going to a restaurant or just a walk. Being fresh is key and you’re breath can deteriorate over time. Make sure that you have something to combat this situation. The last thing that you want is to have a sewer system in your mouth when you lean in for a good night kiss.

Remember Your Wallet

You would think this is a given, but there are time when we get so flustered that we rush out of the house without our wallet or our credit card. Make sure that you have your wallet and all of the pertinent methods of paying for the date with you before you leave the house. If you have recently cancelled a credit card, take it out of your wallet. The last thing you want is to have the waiter come back saying that your card was declined.

Dress Appropriately

The date will really determine what you are going to wear. Are you going to a swanky concert or a find restaurant? Dress accordingly and make sure that the clothing is clean. Iron your shirts and pants if needed. Be aware of details that will make you stand out from previous dates she’s had. Don’t choose a shirt with a ring around the collar. Wear a tie if needed. A sport coat is a great way to show that you know how to dress for a formal date. Make sure that she’s aware of any specific attire that she needs. If you’re taking her paddle boating, make sure that she is wearing sneakers. If you’re going to a nice restaurant, make sure that she knows it so she can dress accordingly.

Make After Date Plans

If everything is going well, you might want to have a plan in place for after the date. Dinner is a great way to spend some time with a date, but the restaurant is going to want their table back at some point during the night. A change of venue is exciting anyway. Have somewhere that the two of you can go after the initial phase of the date if it’s called for. Choose something that you will both enjoy. Something as easy as a cup of coffee at a local brewer can work well.

First dates can be dreadful if you aren’t prepared. By following these guidelines you should be well on your way to a second date.

Am I Leading Him On?

Romy Morgan — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 00:00:16 +0000

Dating advice is essential if you want be on the right track with a man. Could you be making him think there’s more between you than there really is?

Nobody likes to be lead on. Usually the man is the one that will lead a girl on, however, this can happen the other way around. Leading a fella on can hurt him and his ego. When a man is lead to believe that the relationship is something that he didn’t expect, he can get angry and you might never hear from him again. If you have been seeing a fella and you’re not too sure if you’re leading him on, there are a few ways that you figure it out. Here are some signs that you’re leading him on.

You Need Something

Some girls are experts in the damsel in distress role. The thing about this is that men love to swoop in and save a girl from any situation. If you need something, it’s okay to call a friend, but helping out a girl makes a man feel like a man. Make sure that he knows you just need help and that you aren’t interested in him.

He’s A Fallback

Some men have instant chemistry with you while others take time to warm up. If you find yourself calling him when you have nothing to do, he might see it as a sign that you’re interested. If you find yourself using him a fallback, you might want to cut it out. Men tend to make excuses for girls that call them every once in a while. They might think that you’re busy and this is the first chance that you’ve had to call them.

You Haven’t Talked About The Relationship

Relationships can rely on signals to progress. However, signals can be very confusing. If you haven’t talked about your relationship, you might be leading him on. When you talk about the relationship, you give it definition. Defining the relationship lays all of your cards out on the table and leaves no room for confusion.

Your Friends Tell You You’re Leading Him On

Sometimes it takes an outside viewpoint and some good dating advice to let you know what you’re doing. If your friends are telling you you’re leading him on, they probably have good reason. Whether it be that they detect something that you don’t or they have inside knowledge that the fella likes you, listen to your friends. In this case, it’s best to have the talk with him and let him know that you’re not interested.

You Pull Away When Things Get Real

Do you make excuses for why you can’t have dinner with him or go out on a real date? If so, you might be leading him on. When a fella offers to take you out to dinner or to a show, more than likely it’s not a friendly invite. He’s interested and he wants you to go with him. If you make up fake excuses on why can’t go with him, you’re obviously not interested. Tell him that you’re not interested to diffuse the situation.

You Only Call Him For Sex

This can actually be an extension of #5. If you’re sleeping with him and he asks you to spend more time with him out of the bedroom, you are definitely leading him on. Sex to a man is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If the sex is good, he’s probably wondering how he can make the relationship official. Explain to him that you are not looking for anything serious and he might actually be more receptive to a friends with benefits situation.

You’re Too Flirtatious

Flirting is one thing, but if you’re flirting too much, you might be sending the wrong signals. It’s best to keep the flirting to a minimum. Touching a guy’s shoulder or telling him how attractive he is can lead him on quickly. Make sure that you’re not make flirtatious gestures when are around him. He might get the wrong idea and this could cause a rift between the two you.

Leading a guy on can be damaging to any relationship. If you are friends with a fella or you’re sleeping with him, it’s best to make sure that he’s knows what the relationship actually is. When a man likes you, he will bend over backward to do what is needed to make you his girlfriend. Because of this power that women have over men, they tend to take it too far without even realizing it. Take a careful inventory of how you interact with your male friends and listen to the people around you if they say that you could be leading him on.

Where To Meet The Right Guys

Romy Morgan — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 23:00:52 +0000

Dating tips can help you when you’re on a date, but how do you get there in the first place? Use THESE dating tips to help you find Mr. Right!

Meeting guys can seem like a pretty daunting task. If you have done the bar and club scene then you know what it’s like to have a sweaty guy try to rub his stuff all over you at 1 am. Even in a martini stupor this isn’t flattering. Meeting quality guys that will treat you right and respect a long-term relationship doesn’t have to be an elusive mirage. The fact of the matter is that there are worthwhile guys all around you. You just have to know where to look. Dating takes initiative. If you’re serious about find a relationship with the right kind of guy, here are a few suggestions to get your started.

At Church

Before you go into some kind of rant about religion, just hear me out. Men that go to church has morals that supersede the bar and club scene. They aren’t going to want some dirty tryst in the back of their car after last call. If you’re at all religious, think about how you can meet some quality guys at your church. You don’t have to be the biggest devout Christian, but if you were raised in the church this is a good place for meeting guys. Even if you don’t meet any guys, this could be a great place for making more friends.

At The Gym

Yes, the gym is a pretty popular choice. There are a ton of guys who like to stay in shape. If you also like to stay in shape then this could be a common interest that you might want to consider with your next potential relationship. Almost every town has local gym. In my experience, the local YMCA will have more young professionals because of the classes and services they offer for a cheaper price. The facilities are pretty vast also so you might want to take advantage of this.

In Electronics Stores

A ton of guys are wild about their gadgets. If you don’t believe me then head over to the Apple Store or you local Best Buy. Hang around the computer aisles and wait for a guy to come over. Ask him a question about a computer or a hard drive and let him teach you something about it. This is a great way of meeting men. You can base whether or not he’s a complete geek on how he dresses, but most guys know about electronics.

At The Dog Park

This is one of the best dating tips, especially if you have a dog, although you can still go if you don’t. Head over to your local dog park. The dog park gives you a great way to let your dog run free while you can chat up some fellow dog owners. A lot of singles have dogs. It gives them company since they are single. This is probably the reason that you have a dog. See a guy that you like? Ask him about what breed his dog is to get the ball rolling.

Take A Class

One of the best places to take a class at is The Home Depot or Lowes. Both of these places will have guys trying to learn about home repair. Even if you don’t meet a guy in one of these classes you can gain a little knowledge on how your home works. After the class is over you can scour the aisles for good-looking guys who are looking at tools. Strike up a conversation about painting a room and see where it goes.

Through Single Friends

Although this is a little obvious, your single friends know you best and they will be able to recommend some great guys. If you’re not using your single friends to meet guys, you should start immediately. Being set up on a blind date can be pretty nerve racking so if you do go with a single friend’s recommendation, make sure that you meet him first.

At Local Organizations

A great place for meeting single guys is through a local organization. Taking up a sport or a book club is a good place to meet single guys because you have something to talk about instantly. If you aren’t feeling it after a little while, you can reengage in the club or the sport.

Meeting men doesn’t have to be a full time job. In all of these occasions you can have a lot of fun while you try to meet some guys. In order to meet somebody that you really like you might have to come out of your comfort zone a little bit. The best dating tips are to take a chance and join a club or take a class. Just get out there! Meeting people is not very difficult when you have an open mind and connect on a deeper level than what he’s drinking.

Don’t Let Approach Anxiety KILL Your Dating Game!

Chase Christopher — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:00:25 +0000

Dating is intimidating if you’re nervous about making the initial introduction. Here’s how to get over it and go up to girls with CONFIDENCE!

Getting Over The Nervousness

Nervousness over the introduction is one of the biggest deterrents when it comes to dating. Many men feel that walking up to a girl and talking to her can be a detrimental action. “What if she doesn’t talk back to me?” “What if she thinks I’m an idiot?” These are things that run through our heads when we even think about walking up to a pretty girl in a grocery store, bar or night club. Getting over approach anxiety can be a serious confidence booster for a man. Achieving confidence of the introduction can even extend into the business world as well as making new friends. But how do you get over it? To say the least, this is easier said than done.

Have A Routine

Routines are one of the best ways to get over dating approach anxiety. Routines take the pressure out of introducing yourself to a woman. The best way to construct your routines is to make a few different ones for typical dating scenarios. For instance, come up with a routine for the grocery store, the bar, nightclubs, parties or other social occasions. Practice your routines in a mirror and think about the different answers that the girl would give to each routine. Make sure that you have a few things to say back for each answer that they could give. Being prepared for your introduction is a basic essential for getting over your fear.

Start Small

Starting small will build you up so you can eventually sustain an introduction. This can be implemented pretty easily. The next time that you go to the bank or to a restaurant, talk to the teller or the hostess. You don’t have to get into their life story, just ask them a few questions that you might not have otherwise. For instance, when you go into the bank, ask the teller how their day has been. Ask them if they have been busy. They will of course answer you back because they want to seem friendly, but it’s good nonetheless. When you walk into a restaurant, ask the hostess when the busiest time is for the restaurant or something similar. This small talk is a stepping-stone to an introduction and then, possibly dating.

The Venue

A great way to do you first approach is to go somewhere that you never go. For instance, instead of going up to girls at your favorite bar, go to a bar that is on the other side of town. Many men think that if they fail on the introduction, they will not be able to go back to the venue at which it occurred due to embarrassment. This will not occur if you go somewhere that you might not ever go back to. Going up to women at a place that you frequent is not recommended, as you might be uncomfortable seeing them again, especially if you’re dating someone else at the time.

The Actual Introduction

The first meeting can be nerve racking if you aren’t prepared. Remember your routines and how you made the small talk before. You want to use the same tonality during your introduction as you did at the bank or restaurant. Be friendly, but not overbearing. Always go up to the girl with a smile. Do not offer your hand, as this is not a sign of romanticism, but of a friend. Deliver the first line of your routine with confidence. It helps to envision yourself as a character in a movie. This puts you into a mind frame of control when playing the dating game. Movies are always controlled storytelling and there will be a part of you that fully believes the girl cannot resist.

The Conversation

Listen to what they say during the conversation. Don’t be scared if the girl does not respond to your routine the way that you may have thought. This is fine. Just be yourself and if you start to get nervous, excuse yourself from the conversation. One of the best non-threatening ways to get out of a conversation that is going south is to say something like “Well, I’ll let you get back to your shopping.” This shows that you are willing to let her go and shows confidence.

Getting Her Number

If the conversation is going well feel free to ask for her phone number. This might happen or it might not. If you are really nervous, act like there is somewhere that you have to be. This kind of gives her an ultimatum. Simply say “I didn’t realize it’s so late, but can I get your number? I’d love to talk with you again.” If she refuses, it’s not the end of the world. You’re somewhere that you will never go again and nobody has seen you. If she does give you her number, you’re off to a great start.

Dating nervousness can be a killer of men. When we are afraid of going up to women, we miss out on potential opportunities to date somebody really special. Following these guidelines can give you a low pressure way of introducing yourself to women with little hassle.

Why He Didn’t Call You Back

Chase Christopher — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:00:13 +0000

Dating tips can help the first date go without a hitch, but what do you do if the guy you like doesn’t phone back? What’s the deal?

It’s never easy when you meet a guy that you like and he doesn’t call you back. If you’ve gone out a few times and you haven’t heard from him a couple of days, it’s especially infuriating. This is an enigma that many women find themselves in. You were laughing, there weren’t any gaps in the conversation; you even left with a kiss. So what’s his problem? Many women make the mistake of actually calling the guy. Traditionally, men are the ones that should be vying for the woman’s attention. In this modern age, many women are taking the reins and trying to at least give it a mild effort to get together. But not all of the blame can be put on him. Sometimes you have to take a look inward. Here are the most common reasons that he didn’t call you back and why you shouldn’t call him.

Control

Control is a characteristic that not all men can handle. At even the slightest hint of a control issue, most men will walk away. If you insist on a restaurant or he sees you as anything other than warm and easygoing, he probably deleted your number right after the date. Being confident in yourself and knowing what you want is great quality to have, but some men are not turned on by it. In this specific case, it’s probably best to move onto the next one. If he wants to get in touch, he’ll call you.

Being Too Nice

Did you send him a thank you text after the date? While a lot of guys would appreciate this, some guys actually don’t like it. When some men are pursuing women, they like to be the chaser. When a girl concedes to liking him, he might lose interest. This is especially true with men that are in business or make a lot of money. They love the thrill of the chase and when that is gone, they are left with nothing –so to speak. There is a difference between being grateful and them perceiving you as desperate. Keep the thank you texts to a minimum. Words work a lot better than texts anyway. Say thank you right after the meal and then once again before you leave for the night. This will stick with them without coming off as desperation.

Blowing Up The Spot

How many texts or calls have you made in the last couple of days? How many of those were reciprocated? When you send a text and he takes a couple of hours to respond, he’s most likely busy or not interested. We live in a world where our phones have the ability to get online, purchase items and make the traditional call. For most of us, our phones are our lifelines. If you send him a text and he takes more than 6 hours to respond, you might not want to call him again. Wait for him to call or text you. Alternatively, responding to a text instantly can come off as desperation. If you haven’t heard from him a couple of days, give him a call to see how he’s doing. If he doesn’t call you back or responds to a call with a text, rest assured that he’s not putting you at the top of his priorities.

The Prima Donna

Were you rude to the waitress? Did you get hammered? Nice guys are not going to call you out on your actions if they don’t know you. They will just sit there and take it until the meal is over. They will say things like “I’ll call you” or “We should do this again,” but they have no intention of calling you ever again. Think about whether there was anything that you did on the date that would have turned him off. If you were the epitome of perfection, he might just be giving you a little distance to show that he’s not completely desperate. If you were a complete terror, learn from the experience and do it differently next time.

Exceptions

There are exceptions that must be considered. A death in the family, emergency at work or a busted pipe in his home are obviously appropriate reasons that he hasn’t called you back. But one thing that you must take into account is how many times these “emergencies” are occurring. If it’s truly a one-time thing, he probably feels bad and would like to make it up to you. If it’s happening frequently, he might be seeing a couple of girls at the same time. Gauge his excuses and make your own mind up of whether or not to give him a second chance.

Best Dating Tips Of 2011

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 14:00:39 +0000

Dating can be fun and exciting – not frustrating – if you arm yourself with the knowledge of dating experts. You don’t have to go into bars, clubs or malls blindly hoping that someone will approach you and ask you out. Instead, you can learn to take control and become a total master at getting dates!

We found a lot of great suggestions on how to flirt with and seduce women and what to say when you’re face to face with a potential mate. But one thing that became clear over and over was how important confidence and self worth were when dating! Even the best “tricks” don’t match up to how powerful a great smile and confidence are.

Take a look at some of our best advice of the year!

Don’t forget to take a look at some of our all time favorite dating articles!

Very few dating resources have what it takes to make a guy really, really good at the dating game. Even fewer resources can take a total dud and turn him into a Casanova! Here’s the best dating resources we found this year, including some great date ideas that we’ve never heard anywhere else!

Pandora’s Box – Hands down THE best resource for dating!
300 Creative Dates – Inexpensive date ideas that are truly unique.

Dating – How To REALLY Be Successful

Michael Webb — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 23:00:29 +0000

Dating doesn’t have to be difficult with these easy to follow suggestions. Find out how to win the dating game today! There are some basic guidelines you should follow to ensure that your date is as successful as possible.

Be Flexible

When scheduling a date, try your best to plan for problems to crop up. If you are going to a concert that begins at 8:00pm, don’t plan on arriving at 7:55pm. Try to put in a 30-minute cushion in case your date is late, you have car problems, you run into traffic or something else happens. Being late can cause a lot of stress on a date. Arriving early gives you time to relax and have a good conversation while you wait.

If you are planning an outdoor date, try to have an indoor backup plan in case of inclement weather. Don’t let a date get ruined because you can’t have your picnic at the beach. Have your picnic in your living room instead. Or go bowling.

Realize that unavoidable things happen. You might lose your tickets or the restaurant might have lost your reservation. Don’t let these situations get you steamed. Show your date that you have class, composure and a sense of humor. Laugh it off.

Use Your Senses

If you want to have a really successful date, try to include as many of the five senses as possible. Here are just a few examples.

Taste – good food, eating wild berries, nice wine or champagne
Smell – candles, fragrant flowers, food grilling, mints
Touch – sand in your toes, waterfalls, a gentle back massage, a warm fire
Sight – sunsets, beautiful gardens, tour of a historic building
Sound – a live band, birds chirping, waves crashing, waterfalls

Make It Personal

The ideas in this book are just a guide. If you know your date’s favorite colors, music, movies, restaurants, hobbies, etc. you can make the dates even more meaningful. Perhaps you should do the “Favorite Date” as one of your first so you have this information on hand.

But just because someone has a favorite restaurant, don’t get stuck in a rut by going there all the time. New experiences will add pizzazz to your relationship.

Surprise!

Almost everyone loves a good surprise. Build up the anticipation for a date by keeping certain elements a surprise. Maybe you can send clues for the date throughout the week. If it is a rather “simple” date, don’t play it up too big, otherwise your date might be disappointed.

I think surprises always add to the mystery and romance of a date. It tells me that my date has taken the time to plan something in advance.

What NOT To Do On a First Date

On your first date (and future dates) you want to make a good impression. Here are some things you want to be careful NOT to do:

Forget your wallet
Talk about all your previous relationships
Brag – few things are more offensive than someone who is so full of them self
Chew tobacco or reek of cigarette smoke
Get drunk
Talk about sex or make physical advances
Be late
Do dinner and a movie (how ordinary)

Get Yourself Out Of The Friend Zone – STAT!

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Dating tips can help you meet girls, but what if you’ve landed yourself in the “just friends” category? Can you dig your way out? Here’s how to do it, ASAP!

Be The Kind Of Guy Who Never Gets In The Friend Zone In The First Place

The best “dating tips” you could ever get about staying out of the friend zone is to never be the kind of guy who gets put in it in the first place. These guys are wimpy and weak, where guys who don’t get put on the “friends only” list are strong and confident – the alpha male type. The trick is to not be afraid to make women feel beautiful and sexy, and to not be afraid of showing a girl that you like her – like really like her. Don’t pretend that you don’t have a sexual or romantic connection to a girl – instead, just tell her! Be honest and confident about your feelings. Don’t apologize for who you are, and don’t act like her best girlfriend.

Show Interest In Her

If you like a girl, the best way not to get on her “friends only” list is to show that you’re interested in her from the get go. Don’t be too scared to admit that you have a sexual attraction to this girl – and be okay with that. If you think that it’s wrong somehow, or you’re not supposed to like her “that way,” you’re paving your own road to the friend zone! It’s normal and perfectly okay to be sexually attracted to a woman and for her to know that! In fact, it’s perfectly normal and okay that she be sexually attracted to you too – but she won’t be if you’re hiding the fact that you even want to be more than friends.

Make A Move

Don’t just wait and sit on the sidelines like a “best friend” when you could be out there with the girl you want to be with. Take that first step and make that move! Whether it’s to let her know that you exist (that’s a great first step), to start flirting with her or even a bolder move like leaning in for the first kiss, you need to go ahead and do it. Stop thinking about doing it, planning to do it or making excuses as to why now isn’t the right time. Just put yourself out there, take the risk and make a first move!

The Importance Of Building Sexual Tension

When a girl starts to think of you as more than just a buddy is when she begins to feel that undeniable sexual tension between the two of you. To get girls, you have to become a master at creating, shaping and using sexual tension. While some guys don’t find this difficult at all, other more “left brained” guys (you know, scientists, engineers, accountants, etc.) have a more difficult time accessing their more creative side to build sexual tension.

You can get more in touch with the right side of your brain, take up poetry or an art class – anything that engages your right brain. Do something creative that allows you to think differently than you normally do.

How To Build Sexual Tension And Get Her To Think Of You As More Than Just A “Buddy”

Start slowly – you don’t want to rush in too quickly and blindside her. Compliment her, tell her that she looks beautiful or stunning – don’t say “hot,” or “sexy” because this will turn her OFF immediately.
Get in her space. Touch her and when you do, let the touch linger just a little too long. Don’t be creepy about it, but you don’t want to end it until just after it becomes slightly awkward. Flirt with her.
Move at her pace, but take it just a little farther. This allows you to push her limits a little bit, but not way past where her limits usually are. You’re just going slightly outside of her comfort zone.

Show A Side Of Yourself That She Hasn’t Seen Before

If you’re already in the friend zone, these dating tips can be particularly useful if you want to get yourself out of it.

Show the girl you like a side of yourself that she’s never seen before. You’re an interesting guy, with passions and hobbies too, right? Don’t always be talking about her and what she likes or wants to do. Show her your motivation, drive and passion. Let her know that you’re a guy she could be with and have fun with!

Also, you want to make her laugh and feel happy. This is a huge deal, because women remember the way you make them feel more than they remember your name, what you do for a living or even what you look like (although she’ll probably remember all three if you make her feel absolutely amazing).

How To Meet More Women Than Ever Before In Just ONE Month!

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 16:10:41 +0000

Dating tips can help you improve your game, that takes time. You can improve yourself and improve how you approach women, but it doesn’t happen overnight. But what if you could speed things up? What if you could start getting dates right away? Here are surefire dating tips that can guarantee you’ll meet more girls in just ONE month!

The Best Ways To Meet Women

Meeting women doesn’t have to be as difficult or as intimidating as it sounds, although all the dating tips in the world aren’t going to make you feel like finding a girl is any less daunting. But it doesn’t have to be! There are actually lots of ways to get introduced to girls, and many of them may be through things you’re already doing! For example, some of the best places to meet girls are through activities and things you’re already involved in. If you have an interest or a hobby, try to find a group or club that you can get into where you can get to know people who share your same interests and passions.

Another great way to find girls is during the day – most girls are on guard at night, when they’re out clubbing or in bars. They’re expecting to get hit on, probably by a bunch of weirdos, so they’re automatically on guard against anything like that. During the day in relaxed situations like riding the bus or train or going to the supermarket is actually a great way to run into a girl while hear guard is down and start up a flirty conversation. You can make a much better first impression this way! Going to tourist spots or travelling, or enrolling in dance classes (those are loaded with girls) are also excellent ways to expose yourself to more people in general – and more girls.

Take Advantage Of The Weekend

Find things that are happening on the weekend, like festivals or get togethers. Bars, clubs, and even beaches can be great places to go on the weekend because they’re literally packed with people! Don’t just sit around at home on your couch on a Saturday – actually get out there and go somewhere that there are lots of people. You’re bound to meet someone there! Even the mall can be a great place to go – anywhere there are ladies around, that’s where you want to be! It may be nerve wracking at first, especially if you’re not a very social person, but as you continue to put yourself out there, it’s going to become easier and easier and you’re going to become more confident when doing it.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Speed Dating Or A Singles Event

If you live in a larger metropolitan area, chances are, there are lots of speed dating or singles events out there that you can attend. Most guys are a little shy when it comes to doing this type of thing, but there’s really no reason for it. Consider it no harm, no foul. If you meet someone that you really hit it off with, great! If not, you’re not going home any different than when you arrived. It’s also a great way to practice talking to women (which will come into play when you meet a girl you actually have a connection with), so you’re not really leaving empty handed at all. The more exposure you have to being around girls and talking to them, the more comfortable you’re going to be when you actually want to ask a girl out.

Enlist Your Friends

A lot of relationships start by two people meeting through friends. This is actually one of the best dating tips out there, but it’s often overlooked because a lot of guys think that it’s so simple, it can’t possibly work. Well, it can! If you get introduced to a woman through a friend (and you’re a good friend to this person), you’re actually going to come very highly recommended. So while you still want to make sure you’re making an excellent first impression, she’s already going to be thinking good things about you before she meets you. It also helps to be friends with guys who are actually great with the ladies! While it may turn you off a little to consider making friends with someone who is so smooth he gets all the girls, but think of it as a learning opportunity. Watch what he does and how girls respond to it. That is actually a great way to change up your game and start doing things that work!

Also, make friends with girls, even if they’re not necessarily the type you want to date. This is one of the dating tips that is often put on the back burner also, because many guys feel as though if they’re not going to be meeting the girl they could potentially date and have a romantic connection with, why bother? But remember, girls have female friends. And sometimes they’re hot!

Have Confidence And Get Comfortable In Social Situations

One of the best dating tips – if not THE best – is to improve your confidence by getting yourself out there and into social situations. It may feel awkward at first, but it is most definitely going to pay off when you finally meet the girl you want to ask out. If you’re just not ready to get out there yet, consider getting a dating coach. It could be your best friend, or another guy who happens to be really great with the ladies. You can even consider hiring a professional dating coach if you want the best advice. A dating coach can see what you’re doing and come up with a customized plan to help you get more girls in the shortest amount of time possible. Some professional dating coaches can be expensive, but it is well worth it to help you hone your skills so that eventually, YOU can be the suave guy that picks up all the ladies!

The 3 All Time BEST Places To Meet Women

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 15:18:22 +0000

Dating is intimidating if you don’t know where to go to pick up chicks. You might have thought all hope was lost when you started wondering around bars and the like, hoping to see a girl you might want to get to know – chances were, you either didn’t find any chicks at all, or the ones you did find were ones you probably would only consider having a one night stand with. Leave dating anxiety behind and learn the three places that you’ll meet the most girls.

During The Day On Public Transportation

One of the best places to meet women is during the day on public transportation, such as the bus, the train or the subway. This works better if you’re in a large metropolitan area where public transportation is a part of daily life. Most guys who take the bus or subway to work and back sit reading a newspaper, or listening to music, without ever paying attention to what or who is around them. This is a big mistake! Next time you’re using public transportation, take your earbuds out and pay attention! Look for hot girls or ladies that you’d like to meet and get to know. You’ll be surprised – there are many of them!

Also, a woman is less on guard during the day (because she’s not in “dating” mode), so you’re likely to make a much stronger impression on her if you approach her when she’s not expecting it. When you approach a girl in a bar or a club setting at night, she is already on guard and is going to be a lot more selective of who she talks to and hangs out with. She’s more likely to turn you down or ignore you when she’s on guard in a situation like that. During the day, on the bus or train, it’s quieter than in a bar and you’ll be able to actually have a decent conversation and get to know a girl. It’s also more relaxed and friendly, so it requires less effort on your part to be smooth.

Getting Introduced Through Friends

Getting introduced to a girl through friends is a great way to meet someone you can actually have a relationship with. However, you have to be careful with this and make sure your circle of friends are people you actually connect with and who understand you and who you are as a person. This ensures that their friends are actually going to be someone you connect with too. If you currently have a small circle of friends, begin by working to expand that circle and become friends with more people before you start getting introductions to girls. If not, you’re going to build a reputation for being the guy that bounces around and dates everyone’s friends – and before long, no one will want to introduce you to their friends.

At A House Party

A house party is an excellent place to meet girls – the “house party” was pretty much designed specifically for that purpose. If you plan it right, the environment is intimate enough to make a girl feel comfortable but also exciting enough that there’s an edge there that allows you to create sexual tension (which is a must have when you’re flirting and getting to know a girl!) Have one of your friends plan a house party, or host one at your own house! Dating is all about getting out there, making more friends, meeting more people and being more social in general. Dating is a social activity – so if you’re not social, you’re certainly not going to be dating anyone anytime soon. Doing that is going to not only get you more girls, it’s going to get you the kind of girls you want to be with.

Hosting your own house party has it’s benefits, if you have a large enough house. If not, consider renting a party hall or another similar type of location that you can have the party in. Regardless of where you do it, if you’re the host, everyone wants to meet you! So really, if you’re the host of a party (especially if it’s a great party!), girls are going to be coming up to you and wanting to meet you!

Remember that dating is all about being confident and having fun. You’re not just making friends to get more girls, because the process of making and having friends is actually a great thing too, girls or no girls!

How To Give Your Dating Strategy A Total Makeover

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:00:32 +0000

Dating tips can improve your game, but if your game is a little shabby to begin with, they’re only going to do so much. If you haven’t gotten a girl’s number or have gone on a date in awhile, it may be time to throw your old dating tips out the window and give your entire dating strategy an overhaul? Here’s how!

Improving Your Lifestyle

One of the best dating tips is to work on improving your lifestyle before you actively try to meet and date women. The reason for this is if you have a poor lifestyle, you’re not going to attract any women! Start by looking at all the different areas of your life and finding ways to improve them. This in and of itself will attract women!

Have a lifestyle that puts you into contact with people on a daily basis, especially girls. If you never go out or you’re not very social, find some fun places to go or things to do that puts you into contact with new people all the time. Go places, make friends and have fun!

You also want to make sure that your lifestyle is attractive to women – and we’re talking the overall package here.

Build Your Social Circle

Work on making friends and building your social circle. If you’re meeting new people, make an effort to become friends with them. Become happier and more social overall. Develop a passion for meeting and talking to people, and don’t be afraid to show attraction for a woman. Be confident enough to flirt with a girl and create a little bit of sexual tension. This is one of the dating tips that can directly improve your love life! If you’re not at all confident and don’t approach any women or flirt with them in any way, you can hardly expect to get a date.

How To Get Confidence

There’s never going to be a magical moment where you suddenly feel confident and completely comfortable with approaching women. You’re just going to have to get out there and do it! However, after you do it (and continue to do it over and over), each time you’re going to be a little more confident and a little more smooth when you walk up to that next girl.

Things You Don’t Want To Do

Being too one-dimensionally focused on just picking up girls. You want to keep them too!
Not caring about making friends or improving yourself
Being demotivated. Nobody wants to be around a downer.
Not taking action – you’ve got to get up, get out there and start making this stuff happen! It’s not going to magically happen for you if you’re just sitting around hoping a girl will approach you.
Not taking risks. You’re not going to get anywhere if you’re not brave enough to take a risk now and then.

Know On The Inside That YOU Are Worth It!

One of the best dating tips of them all (if not THE best) is to know inside that you have a lot to offer. Confidence is everything when it comes to dating and if you don’t believe in yourself and that you have a lot to offer a girl, no one else will either. You’ve got to believe it inside you first, before anyone else will.

Know that you deserve to be with the right girl, and you deserve to have a great relationship. You also deserve to date around and have fun if you like – have enough confidence in yourself to know that the right girl is out there and you will meet her. If you truly believe it inside, that will be all the motivation you need to go out and make this stuff happen for you!

Enjoy The Journey

Sometimes it’s not all about the end result and that goes for dating as well. Life is a journey and you need to enjoy it – every step of the way. Don’t just become a better person so you can get a date, become a better person for yourself. Enjoy the process.

Remember to relax and have fun. Nothing is going to happen right away, or in an instant. But as you improve yourself, you improve what you have to offer a girl. As you do that, more and more women are going to be interested in you! It’s a gradual process, but if you’re enjoying each step of getting there, before you know it, you’re going to be having a great time dating girls or in a blissful, happy long term relationship.

5 Tips To Get Girls Who Are A “10!”

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 14:00:59 +0000

Most dating tips will help you get a “normal” girl, but what if you want a woman who is a FOX? Even if you’re an average looking guy, there are plenty of ways that YOU can get a lover who other guys could only DREAM of dating! Here’s the dating tips you need to date the hottest chicks.

Confident Women Like Confident Men

Know who you want to be and be that guy. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t get down on yourself for being who you are. Take pride and have confidence in yourself, because women who are really good looking are confident too. If you believe in the product you’re selling (which is yourself), women are going to want to buy it. You’ve got to believe you have the ability to approach and date ANY woman you want, or it’s just not going to happen. If you truly believe that you have a lot to offer any girl, your confidence will allow you to do just that – and then you’ll have the pick of women in the bar or wherever else you go to meet women!

Any Guy Can Learn To Be Amazing With The Ladies

A common misconception about dating is that if a guy is shy, or is a “nerd” that he can’t be good with women. Quite the opposite is true – ANY guy can learn to be amazing with the ladies. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re the most attractive guy in the room, because honestly, even some of the best pick up artists aren’t underwear model material (far from it). If you think you’ll never be great with ladies because you’re “average” looking or for any other reason, you’re really only limiting yourself. Shed the negative thinking and have the confidence to know that you CAN learn to be great with women.

Be the cool guy that other people want to hang around. Work on improving yourself and have goals and a game plan. Don’t get caught up in faking it, using the right “pick up lines” or any of those “dating tips” that rarely ever work. It’s all about believing you have something great to offer (because you really do) and knowing that you can have any woman you want!

Stay Away From Anything Weird

Again, you want to stay away from any dating props or cheesy pick up lines. If it’s not authentic, women are going to smell it from a mile away. There are no magic “lines” that will instantly make women attracted to you, nor are is there anything else that will help you ask a girl out. You’ve just got to build that inner confidence and start putting yourself out there!

What you do want to do is be personable – be friendly, funny and be yourself! Don’t try to be a guy that you think women like, because that pretty much never works. Also, don’t be afraid to consider getting a dating coach. People pay personal trainers all the time to help them to work out and lose weight, a dating coach goes along the same lines – you’re having someone help train you to get the women you desire! If you don’t want a professional, enlist one of your friends (that also happens to be good with women) to help you through the process.

Focus On Being A “10″ Yourself

While looks certainly aren’t everything, if you consider yourself to be a “3,” you’re never going to get the hottest woman. So implement a game plan that allows you to work towards becoming the kind of guy that other women see as a “10.”

Have Fun Dating

It’s not always about “getting the number” or meeting the woman you’re going to have a long term relationship with or even marry. Have fun dating and meeting new people – it doesn’t always have to go somewhere. Also, don’t focus so much on meeting women, but also meeting new people in general – make new friends and find people who have similar goals. If you currently have friends that aren’t supporting you or are bringing you down, it may be time to get them out of your life and make friends that help lift you up and help you meet your goals.

Finally, you want to make the decision to become good at dating. Make the command decision to learn what you need to do to become more confident with the ladies and just do it. Put yourself out there and if you have the confidence, chicks who are a “10″ will flock to you!

How To Pick Up Girls – For Smart Guys

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:00:56 +0000

Dating tips don’t always give you all the answers you need. It can be tough if you’re an intellectual fella – because not just any girl will do. Smart men need a woman who will be able to carry on a conversation with them, as well as stimulate them emotionally, mentally and intellectually. Women like that can be hard to find – and even more difficult to pick up! Here are some excellent dating tips to get women with brains!

Difficulty Relating To Women

Okay smart men – you know who you are. You’re the science guy, the IT guy, the accounting and finance fella. You’ve got brains and you know that if any women really got to know you, they would fall madly in love with you! Here’s the problem:

Most brilliant men are so left-brained that they have incredible difficulty relating and talking to women! So how do you overcome this?

It’s time to get in touch with the right side of your brain! Some dating tips may give you pick up lines that promise magical things will happen as soon as the words leave your mouth, but that’s just not the case here. You’ve got to get more in touch with the right side of your brain, so you can learn to relate to women better. This is not going to immediately snag you a date with the smartest (and hottest) woman, but it will help you get better at relating to women on a larger scale.

Thinking Outside The Box

To get the right side of your noggin’ more involved, you need to find some creative hobbies that allow you to get into that mode and away from the super smart, super analytical side of your brain. Poetry and art are awesome ways to get that going, but pretty much any hobby or activity that allows you to think “outside the box” will do.

It might be uncomfortable at first, or you may feel out of place, simply because your brain doesn’t work that way. You’re not an artsy-fartsy guy! But if you get just a little outside your comfort zone and start doing things that help you develop an artistic nature or engage your creativity, you’re already on your way to meeting women and being able to relate to them well enough that you can pick them up!

Be Yourself

Being yourself always works better to attract women, simply because the ladies can usually spot a fake a mile away. A lot of guys don’t understand that women want to get to know YOU, not the guy you think they want to get to know. So many men put on a fake front because they think that will help them attract more women and in the beginning, it may. But it won’t be long before she realizes that you’re not who she thought you were and she’s out the door.

Be yourself and take pride in the fact that you’re an intelligent man! Ladies love this! They want to be able to have a real, amazing conversation with a guy! So have the confidence to put yourself out there – the REAL you.

Strong Masculine Energy & Eye Contact

Having a strong, masculine energy and having the confidence to make eye contact makes a big difference when trying to get a date with a smart chick. In fact, this is one of those dating tips that applies to pretty much any woman. Ladies don’t want to be with a wimp – and unfortunately, a lot of really brilliant guys come off as “wimps” simply because they’ve never had the confidence or practice to have a strong masculine energy about them. They may have grown up as “nerds” or were made fun of for being so smart, so they sink into that persona over time – without realizing that it IS possible to be uber-smart and great with the ladies.

Your Mindset Is Important

It’s very important that you have the right mindset when it comes to attracting intelligent women. Don’t think that these smart women are beyond your reach – they are just people too! A lot of times, guys are so intimidated by hot women, they don’t approach them – but in reality, these girls really don’t get many dates because men are too intimidated to approach them! Have the mindset that these women are real people and you can connect with them – just start that conversation! Hot women are often the most friendly, down to earth people you’ve ever met.

Don’t Focus On Looks

Don’t be so focused on a woman’s looks that you fail to see the amazing personality within. Have a conversation with her, ask her intelligent questions and give intelligent answers. Get to know who she really is! It’s critical to be open and real with a woman if you want a shot at having a true relationship.

Basic Tips For Talking To Women

On average, women say about 15,000 words per day and guys say about 6,000.
Make a goal to start talking more, period!
Learn to relax in social situations
Practice talking to women! Even if it’s not the girl you’re interested in, just get more comfortable talking to women in general.
Learn something new every time you talk to a girl! Women are people too.
It’s not a failure if you don’t get with a girl, but you learn something that will help you in the future.

The 9 Booty Call Commandments

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 17:00:32 +0000

A booty call is a relationship and like all relationships, they have their own set of rules. Are you following these nine booty call “laws?”

What She Said:

Thou Shall Keep It Clear

The best way to have fun with a booty call is to clearly define your relationship beforehand. Booty calls, by popular definition, include sex without strings. It’s late night satisfaction – the fast food of sex. So make sure you’re not emotionally attached before picking up that phone.

Thou Shall Be Experimental

Take the opportunity to whip out the Kama Sutra and explore some new positions. When the two of you ultimately transition to other relationships, you’ll have some amazing moves to wow your next lover with.

Thou Shall Be Respectful

Booty calls are for legally consenting adults – so act like one! Though it’s a casual connection, the rules of etiquette still apply. You don’t need to exchange details of your day – but treating each other with kindness is a must.

Thou Shall Use Protection

Booty calls are fun and lighthearted. STD’s and unplanned pregnancies are not – use condoms.

Thou Shall Know When To Let It Go

There will come a time when you’ll need to wrap it up. Booty call arrangements are usually short-lived. If it’s not fun anymore – or one of you has met someone else – it’s time to call it a night.

What He Said

Thou Shall Have An Exit Strategy

These things will not last forever. It will be fun for a while, not a long time. Know this in advance and plan accordingly.

Thou Shall Not Expect Too Much

This isn’t going to go anywhere. Except to the bedroom. It’s not going to turn into something more. It isn’t a deep, profound, spiritual connection. If you go into a movie with super high expectations you’ll probably be very disappointed, why? Because you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you go in with lower, more realistic expectations, then you’re more likely to have a good time and really, really enjoy yourself.

Thou Shall Get Yours

Don’t expect the other person to care about your pleasure. This isn’t love making, this is f**cking. Period. It’s fast and nasty, down and dirty. The person on the other end of the equation isn’t concerned about your feelings or making sure you have a good time, more often than not. If anything, they are concerned about getting theirs. Take ownership of your orgasm and make sure you get it, and then some. Don’t wait for anyone else to make it happen. That’s on you.

Thou Shall Not Be Unrealistic

Yes, they are probably going to be having sex with other people. No, it won’t last forever. Yes, it will end badly (if you don’t end it first). What do you expect? It’s a booty call. You can’t accept a collect call from Cambodia and then be shocked when you get your phone bill. Take ownership and accountability. You made the call or at least you answered it. There’s an upside and a downside. Weigh the pluses and minus and act accordingly

How To Get Out Of A Dating Dry Spell ASAP!

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 17:00:07 +0000

Dating doesn’t always mean you’re going to go out with person after person – some nights, you end up alone! Here’s how to get out of your dating slump NOW!

I’m in a dating dry spell. Big time. It’s been forever. I can’t seem to break it, no matter what! It’s beyond frustrating! What can I do?

What She Said:

Be open to meeting new people, having new experiences and be willing to put yourself out there – safely!

If you’ve been in a long-term dry spell, chances are, subconsciously or otherwise, you were abstaining from a relationship to keep yourself safe emotionally. Perhaps you went through a bad breakup that turned you off from dating for a while. The long and the short of it is, you were most likely feeling too vulnerable to date, so don’t be hard on yourself.

You’ve decided you want to end your dry spell, so that’s half the battle. Now that you’re open to dating again, you’ll most likely be putting out a vibe that interested parties are sure to pick up on! Setting an intention and giving yourself a goal is a powerful way to focus on moving forward.

Be creative. Ask friends to hook you up with their single pals. Register with an online dating service. Head to the park, the gym, the library, the bars. See who’s out there. Don’t be shy about striking up conversations. Have fun flirting! You’ve got nothing to lose.

The main thing, as always, is to be happy with yourself and your life. Your joy and confidence will attract similar people – and that’s a great way to start! Remember to have fun, enjoy yourself and trust that you deserve the best.

What He Said:

Well, the obvious answers are lower your standards and/or get a prostitute. Nothing says “slump buster” like hookers and ugly chicks/dudes. Aside from that, lower the stakes. It’s not that big a deal, and it’s not going to last forever. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Okay, maybe that’s not the inspirational quote that you’ll see on a Hallmark card, but it’s true. It’s not that big a deal. This too shall pass.

After that, you’ll have to figure out what to do next. If you have what you want, keep doing what you’re doing. If not, you will need to do something different. Try and find your patterns and break them. Or make a list of things you swore you’d never do (ask friends to set you up, online dating, whatever) and do them, no matter how painful or awkward. Doing things different will lead to different results.

Keep an open mind and be curious. Be interested but not invested. If something works, keep doing it. If not, don’t and try something else. Wash, rinse, repeat.

You could also give up and abandon all hope. That seems to work especially for couples who think they can’t have a baby. After they give up and make peace with the fact that it will never happen, it usually winds up happening. Funny how that works. Well, funny unless it’s you. Then, well, not so much. But still people will chuckle. Behind your back.

Being frustrated or angry isn’t good. It’s helpful to a degree in that it will make you get off your ass and inspire change, but after you get to that point, they really aren’t very helpful parts of the process. They’re like booster rockets for the space shuttle. They get you to a point and then they no longer provide fuel, so you have to jettison them.

I’ve Got The Hots For One Of My Roommates!

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 17:00:55 +0000

A booty call can be a lot of fun – but it can also complicate things a great deal if you happen to be living with the person you want to hook up with! It’s not at all uncommon for young roommates of the opposite sex to be attracted to each other – you’re often seeing your roommate in their most vulnerable (and sexiest) situations such as being in the shower or sleeping soundly in their bed. Since you see your house mate often, it’s absolutely natural that you would be thinking about them often. It’s also natural for you to be interested in them in a romantic or sexual way. But does this mean you should act on your feelings and make your roomie a booty call? Or would the wisest thing be to keep your feelings to yourself?

I’m living in a house with a bunch of roommates (Real World style!). I’m attracted to one of the guys and we’ve been flirting a lot – but we’re putting off getting together for fear of complicating our living situation. Neither one of us can afford to move out if things go bad, but we really want to hook up. Thoughts?

What She Said:

I guess it’ll depend on what’s stronger – your libido or your desire to keep your living situation comfortable! I’ll be interested to hear which one wins out.

Ask Yourself Questions First

Here are a few questions to ask yourself before diving in: How strong is the connection? Is it worth possibly putting your living situation in jeopardy? Is this a hookup for sex or do you both want a relationship? If it’s an in-house booty call, how will you feel if he brings home another girl? How will it affect the dynamics of your household? Are you both mature enough to handle it if it doesn’t work out? Of course you can’t know the answers to these questions for sure, but it’ll behoove the situation if you can push yourself by playing devil’s advocate.

If you’re like the rest of us, my guess is that you’ll give in to hooking up – and that’s okay! If you decide to proceed, the best you can do is move forward with a mutual respect for each other – and, if you’re really smart, the utmost respect for your roommates. That means keeping your private time private; and if things do go awry, don’t drag your household into the drama.

You can do the pros and cons list all day long – but hopefully you’ll go with your gut and do what’s best for you. But keep that piggy bank full, just in case.

What He Said:

Hooking up with someone you live with when neither of you could afford to move out if something goes awry? What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?

Sure there’s a lot that COULD go right with this scenario, but is the juice worth the squeeze? That’s what it comes down to. I’m not you and I’m not there, so I can’t speak to that, but I can say I have trouble imagining a situation where the positives outweigh the negatives.

Could the sex be mind blowing? Could this person be the great love of your life? Sure, but they could also go batshit crazy on you and you’re stuck there in a really weird living situation.

And then so are your roommates. Maybe this other person doesn’t go psycho, but how will this affect your roommate dynamic? What if one of your roommates wants to hook up with this person and you do first? That can’t be good. Either way you’re going to be affecting the dynamics in the living situation – you can try and see how it works out. Could it work out, I guess so, but why would you really want to try? No, seriously, tell me. I’m curious.

How To Tell If You Are Really More Than Friends?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 14:00:50 +0000

Dating is difficult when you feel like you’re more than friends but just aren’t sure. It’s easy to meet someone and begin a friendship with them, only to start feeling more for them than you originally did as you get to know them. However, taking a friendship to dating can be intimidating, because sometimes you’re not really sure how the other person feels.

If you ask your friend out and they don’t feel the same way as you, you risk ruining the friendship because things will be different after you let them know you have romantic feelings towards them. It’s better to know (for the most part) if you and your friend are actually more than that – so how can you tell if you and your “friend” should start REALLY dating?

She’s Going To Want To Spend Time With You

If the girl you’re interested in has romantic feelings for you too, she’s going to want to spend as much time with you as possible. She’s going to make excuses to see you and be around you.

She’s Going To Be Okay If The Conversation Turns Sexual

If she’s into you, she’s not going to shy away if the conversation turns towards sex. If she’s not and just wants to be your friend, she’s going to shy away from sexual conversation and stick to topics that are completely platonic. So test her out and bring up a topic that is just a little sexual to see how she reacts – does she shy away from the conversation or does she actively participate in it? If she actively participates in a sexual conversation – and even takes it a little further – it’s a safe bet that she digs you.

You Will Feel It

The energy with friends isn’t the same as the energy you feel when you have an actual connection with someone. If you’ve ever felt that feeling before, you know exactly what it is – there’s no mistaking it. Guys who have never had this connection with someone may not be sure how it feels – but rest assured that you really will know when you do feel it. Pay attention and be looking for that – if you’re not experiencing that real connection, you’re most likely really just friends.

Is She Into The Next Step?

To find out if the girl you like is into taking the next step with you, you have to realize it’s not all about what she says. You have to pay attention to her body language, because she may not be saying anything that lets you know she’s into you at all. Her body language will, however, tell you whether she’s digging you or not. If she is, she’s going to make excuses to get in your space, making eye contact with you and laughing and having a good time with you. Here are some easy ways to tell if she’s ready for you to make the next move.

She starts dropping hints for you to make a move
When you flirt or are being playful, she reciprocates and shares in the witty banter
She opens up and seems to want to talk about more personal topics
She’s happy to see you or talk to you
She finds excuses to touch you or brush up against you
When you touch her, she doesn’t back away – she may even lean closer to you

Don’t Wait Too Long!

If you feel that energy and everything seems to be lining up, don’t wait too long to make a move. Just make it! Ask her out! Don’t wonder whether she’s really into you or not, or second guess yourself. So many guys second guess themselves so much that the girl they like – and who likes them back – thinks that he’s not interested in her! If you feel that romantic connection, go for it! If you wait too long to ask a girl out, you may end up missing the moment entirely.

Relax And Have Fun

If you’re so keyed up and worried about figuring out whether a girl likes you back or not, you may miss key signs that she really does like you. You definitely want to be aware of those signs so you can make the next move if you sense she’s into you too. So take a deep breath and relax! Have confidence that you’ll know when things feel right and that she’ll give you plenty of signs to lead you in the right direction. Have fun and wait for that special connection to happen!

How To Be Her Dream Guy

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 14:00:31 +0000

Great dating advice can help you learn how to be every woman’s romantic fantasy. You can try to guess at what a woman wants in a man, or you can know for sure with these great tips. Here’s how to be everything she ever wanted!

Have A Strong Identity

The importance of having confidence in who you are and having a strong identity can’t be emphasized enough here. Think of yourself as the “product” and you’re “selling” this product to women – do you believe in what you’re selling? Do you like what you’re selling and do you think it’s a great product? If you don’t like what you’re selling, no one else will either!

Learn to get comfortable with who you are and what you have to offer. This will not only help attract women to you, it will also help you to know more about the kind of women that you could possibly have great chemistry with. Focus on being fun, energetic and exciting for others to be around – you want to be the kind of guy that has lots of friends that truly enjoy hanging out and having great conversations.

You also want to find your strengths and accentuate them. You don’t want to be the kind of guy that blends in with everyone else, because then girls aren’t going to notice you at all! You want to find what is unique about yourself and show that off. If you stand out from the crowd a little bit because of something that is special about you, that’s a good thing!

Learn How To Be Comfortable In Social Situations

No girl has a “dream guy” that sits in the corner at a party and doesn’t talk to anyone. Girls want a man who is passionate, has things to talk about and wants to talk about them with other people. So if you’re not comfortable in large groups or in social situations, you want to work on this. Practice makes perfect, so put yourself out there. The more you expose yourself to social situations, the more comfortable you will begin to be in them. As you do this, your self confidence will soar!

Be Someone She Can Be Proud Of

This is perhaps one of the best bits of dating advice out there. While women can and will fall in love with guys who they can’t be proud of, you don’t want this to be you! If you really want a girl to fall for you, you’ve got to be someone she can be proud to introduce to her friends and family. You want to be someone she can bring up in a conversation, rather than the topic she’s trying to avoid in a conversation.

Have an awesome job, volunteer or do things that you’re passionate about. Have short term and long term goals, and don’t be afraid to tell people about what you’re striving for. She will see and admire the things that you love doing that make you who you are – and this is what she will brag about to her friends and family when she is dating you!

Get Comfortable Being Romantic And Sensual

Women love sensuality and romance, period. If you can’t bring this to the table, it’s not likely you’re going to be any girl’s fantasy. Get comfortable with showing women affection, touching them and kissing them. When you kiss a woman, make it something that she remembers! If you don’t know how to be romantic or sensual with a woman, read up on seduction tips and how to really be intimate with a girl.

With physical intimacy comes emotional intimacy, so you don’t want to wall yourself of emotionally. Get comfortable with experiencing your feelings, talking about them and being in touch with your emotions. Don’t be afraid to open up to a girl and let her see that you’re a little emotionally vulnerable. Yes, you’re taking the risk of getting hurt here, but ultimately, this is the piece of dating advice that will get her to fall head over heels for you.

Develop A Posture And Presence That Women Want To Be Around

Girls want to be around that strong, confident guy. They don’t want to be around a weak, wimpy guy that asks permission for everything. Learn to make decisions about date ideas, where to go and what to do. Let a girl know that she doesn’t have to worry about things when she’s with you. Show her that you’re the alpha male – and she’ll be putty in your hands.

I Keep Dating Mr. Wrong! Please Help!

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 23:00:17 +0000

Are you dating all the wrong guys? Here’s how to break the cycle and find Mr. Right!

I’m like a magnet for all the wrong guys. I know the good ones are out there. I need to do something different. Help! Give me a plan!

What She Said:

Short answer? Try dating a different kind of guy! You obviously have a type – and your type isn’t working for you. Albert Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you’re always dating the same type of guy, guess what your chances are of having a different experience? Slim to none!

A real life example: A girlfriend of mine is a musician and, subsequently, she was always hanging out with band guys. They were all in the same downtown scene with lots of late nights and drinking. Fun, for sure – but a bit of a merry go round as far as relationships. The fellow musicians were cool, but tended to be “bad boys” when it came to dating. No surprise, right?

Well, my friend got tired of this and decided to make a big change. She stayed in her band but put all fellow musicians on her “platonic” list. She sat down and thought about what she really wanted in a relationship. She made a list of qualities that were important to her in a mate. Then she put a plan into action. She got out of her comfort zone and made an effort to meet new people. She didn’t want a bad boy/band guy anymore, even though that had long been her type – so she stopped hanging out in bars. Instead she went to museums, the gym and the library. She ended up meeting (and marrying) an anthropologist – a complete 180 from her exes. They’re celebrating their ten-year anniversary next month.

I swear I did not swipe this story from Lifetime Television! It might sound cheesy, but you get the drift. If you want something new, don’t wait around for it – go out and get it! You have to make a change if you want something different. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.

What He Said:

You continue to do the same things, you are still getting the same results. Make a list of everything you can think of in terms of your current love life: where did you meet these guys, what do they drive, what do they do, etc. Pretty soon you’ll have a profile. This will give you a clear example of what you want to avoid.

That’s only half the equation, the “what not to do” part of the deal. That’s very important. But it’s not the whole enchilada. You know what you don’t want. Now what?

You have identified the old pattern, the one you want to break. Now you work on establishing the new one. The one you want to create.

Figure out what guy you want. Pick a celebrity crush as a template. Figure out what makes this guy your type. What do you like about him? Brainstorm as much as you can, and be as specific as possible. Then figure out where you would go in your area to find that kind of guy. It’s like getting “the look for less” but with dudes.

So when you figure this out, go to where he is and hit on him. Or do online dating. Or run naked down the highway at rush hour. Something. Anything. Do something different. Otherwise, you’ll get the same results.

Good luck!

I Keep Dating Losers! Help!

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 23:00:06 +0000

Dating means taking risks and knowing you might end up with a dud – but what if they keep coming along?

I just got out of a LTR with a guy who was a huge jerk. There’d been this guy flirting with me for months and since I was single, and he asked me out, I figured, why not?

We went out, back to his place and then we did it. And he never called me again. This loser makes my ex a great catch. Why do I keep finding these types of men?

What She Said:

Not to sound like my Grandma, but don’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch. You broke up with your ex for a reason and there’s no need to go running back to him at the first sign of bad news. Chalk it up to having fun having sex – and also one more step in moving on from your past. It’s shitty what your fling did to you – but that says everything about the type of person he can be and is no reflection on you.

I’m sure he wasn’t lying about being into you. He obviously spent time flirting and thinking about you. It’s more than likely that he dug you, but got scared at the possibility of you actually being single. You were an unobtainable fantasy that became real – and some people can’t handle real. Some guys want what they can’t have – and then don’t want it once they get it. It’s an immature side of human nature. Don’t beat yourself up over it!

Take this as a lesson. Hopefully you were safe and had fun. Now let it go.

Don’t let one night throw you back to the past. Enjoy being single! Focus on the bravery it took to split from your long-time BF and look towards a fabulous future. You have the freedom to create a new life, so get started today!

What He Said:

Shit happens. You got out of a relationship and you made a mistake. It’s a learning experience. It is not the end of the world. As long as you used protection, and you have been tested and all that, what’s the downside? You had some fun and more importantly, you learned an important lesson. Buyer beware. Just because something seems like a good idea, and people have good intentions, that’s not always the case.

And your ex isn’t better. He’s still a douchebag. You just are feeling nostalgic. There’s nothing magical that just happened to make him a better person, lover, etc. Just realize this is a thing that will pass. In time you’ll remember what a loser he is and more importantly, you will find someone better. Someone that you deserve and that makes you feel amazing. Give it time. This is a process and you’re still healing.

It’s a number’s game. Kiss enough frogs and you will find your prince. Relax and enjoy the ride. If you’re doing the work, you should just relax and expect your success. It is coming provided you put yourself out there and minimize your exposure to douchebags.

How do you do that? When you know, you know. If any guy remotely reminds you of your ex. Run. Be very conscious when making your choices and eventually, It’ll all come together.

First Date Tips: How To Make It Perfect

Andrew Wang — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 23:00:30 +0000

The first date is crucial – you want to make sure you get a second, right? We all know that first impressions can also be lasting impressions. As such, the first real date that you have with someone is extremely important. Even if you’ve already known each other as friends or acquaintances, that first date is when you’ll get to see each other in a non-platonic light.

You want to be able to learn more about the person you’re on the date with, and you want them to learn more about you. This is your first chance to show that individual how thoughtful you can be. One of the best ways to do that is to plan a great first date.

How To Stand Out From The Crowd

You not only want to make a good first impression on this date; you also want to stand out from the crowd of potential mates out there. That means planning a date that will be unique compared to most people’s typical first date. Eschew dinner and a movie or dinner and drinks for something more special.

Thinking outside the box will make your date sit up and notice you. Think about doing something that will shine a light on one of your better traits or talents. If you’re a good cook, invite your date over to your place for a dinner made by you, or make something that you can take on a picnic and enjoy together. Just make sure that you don’t come off as being full of yourself, or that the date seems to be centered around only what you enjoy.

Speaking of your date’s enjoyment, tailoring the night around their interests will show how thoughtful you can be. Is there anything you can remember about their hobbies or tastes from the previous conversations that you’ve had? Do you have a mutual friend who you can pump for some information to help plan the date?

Access whatever resources you can (without being a stalker about it, of course) to plot a date that shows you’re willing to put effort into a relationship with this person. If they like music, surprise them by taking them to a concert. If they’re into art or history, take them to the museum for the afternoon.

Take Advantage Of The Current Season

You can also look for special seasonal events that will create a memorable date. In the autumn you can go apple-picking, or in the spring you can visit a botanical garden. Does your date love animals? Take him or her to the zoo if the weather permits it. There are plenty of indoor special events out there, too. Just go online or check out the arts and entertainment section of your local paper.

Maybe a bar near you is having a special beer or wine tasting night, or there might be a touring musical or play in town over the weekend. There are so many options out there that go beyond dinner at a restaurant and two tickets to whatever rom-com is playing at a theater near you.

Most people are just too lazy to look into other first date ideas though, so that’s become the standard date. If you plan something above and beyond for your first date, there will be plenty of time to see movies and eat out on down the line. That initial impression will be certain to score you many more dates to come.

11 Date Ideas That Will Bring Out Her Inner Child – And Win Her Heart

Michael Webb — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 23:00:08 +0000

Date ideas can be difficult to come up with, but if you harness the child inside, you can make your date ideas unique enough to make her fall head over heels.

Invite her on a journey to rediscover her inner child. Make plans for an upcoming Saturday or make sure you have booked a day off work for her with her boss as guaranteed this will be her first line of defense in turning you down. Remind her of those carefree days of running around in the park with her friends, swinging on swing sets, making snow cones and catching fireflies at dusk. Remind her of the time when her biggest worry was which flavor of ice cream to choose.

Having Fun Being Kids Again

Whilst it might seem immature, just work with me. Call her up and invite her on a “play date.” If she starts to question you, you can offer a slight hint but the intention is create an air of mystery and fun. Then you need to start working on the type of activities you will take part in. You could consider some of the following activities:

Watch a lighthearted family movie
Draw pictures and create collages – create your own visionary boards for romance and this can give you clues as to what she needs from you.
Write stories and then finish each other’s stories… Once upon a time… and you’d be surprised at what comes out plus it can give you a clue as to her state of mind.
Make up a game or participate in your favorite game from childhood
Go to the park, go camping, visit the zoo, hang out with your own, hers, your siblings, friends, kids. Offer to baby sit the kids for a day because often just being around kids can make finding your own inner child a lot easier. Children have a fresh look on things, and sometimes when we get in bad moods it is because we are so jaded with the world around us. Experiencing life through the eyes of a child can really do wonders for naturally rediscovering a good mood.
If possible, take a trip to Disneyland or some theme park.
Blindfold one another, spin one another around and then see how you fall and feel all dizzy. Try feeding each other blindfolded. This can soon lead to something more romantic and intimate.
Buy some play dough and make shapes.
Play 20 questions, pull out some old board games, Scrabble, Monopoly, an old deck of cards.
Build a tent in the living room out of sheets, pillows and whatever else you can lay your hands on.
Ride your bikes, or borrow some other kids bikes and if this is too immature for you, go for more mature bikes and hire a Harley Davidson for an hour or two (assuming you have your license and all protective gear) and go riding off in the sunset with the wind in your hair.

The intention with this kind of date with your girl is to just let all the angst go and live and let live. Enjoy the moment and your youth, no matter what age you are. I know of couples who still dine out on the ‘mischievous practical jokes’ they got up to when they experienced with the “play date” idea. After all, what have you got to lose? Your dignity? Since when do children worry about dignity?

Is He Ready For A Serious Relationship?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 23:00:58 +0000

Dating is fun, but sometimes you want to move on to something more committed. How can you tell if your partner is ready to move past the dating phase?

I’m dating this amazing guy. But I’m the first girl he’s dated seriously since his last serious relationship ended. I want a future with him, and I’m ready to open myself up and give my heart to him, but I want to be sure. How do I know I’m not his rebound girl?

What She Said:

Beware of “Ghost Sex!” He may like you; or he could mentally be placing his ex-girlfriend’s face on your body and going to town. Sorry to sound so crass – but the old adage, “The best way to get over someone is get under someone” is often true. I’m sure he enjoys your company; but the fact is, depending on how recent the breakup, your presence might just be keeping him warm until his heart has healed.

Are You A Rebound?

How to spot a rebound? Be honest with yourself. Does he talk about her a lot? Are there still pictures everywhere? Does he seem angry or flinch if her name is brought up? If so, chances are his mind is still on the relationship and not in the present with you. If it was a long-term relationship, his penis will most likely be ready to move on before his heart. If you’re looking for sex and nothing more, this can be a fun time for both of you. If you’re hooked on this guy, stay away until he’s had time to sort things out.

Honestly, if I’m into a guy, my rule of thumb is to not be the first girl he’s with after a serious relationship. I find that you’re usually dealing with the fallout of the past and not the good stuff. Even guys need time to work through their feelings – whether they show it or not. It’d be great to move on as if nothing ever happened – but the hurt is there somewhere, and it will find a way to come out.

Getting His Mind On YOU

You’re worth 100% of his attention. Again, if you’re looking for a fling, this is a fine time to get some no strings attached lovin’. But, given that you’re bummed out, I’d cool it with this guy. Chances are if you set your boundaries and treat yourself with respect, it’ll be you and not his ex he’s thinking about in no time.

What He Said:

I feel really old, because I thought “Ghost Sex” involved Whoopi Goldberg, Demi Moore, and Patrick Swayze. Nevertheless, I am undaunted and proudly declare “Ghost Sex” to be my new favorite word and hereby dedicate the remainder of my existence to the gratuitous use of the term until it gets old for me (hint: it won’t. I’m like a five year old.)

Here’s a thought: if you haven’t met his friends, or if he doesn’t spend money on you or if you only meet in the backseat of his car, then well, you’re just for fun. You really need to figure out how long it’s been since the end of his last serious relationship and how serious was it (marriage, living together, etc) and how messy or amicable was the break up.

Trust Your Gut Feelings

Recovery time is a tricky thing. Everyone heals from injury at different speeds, so he may be ready for another relationship right away. Or maybe not. And he may not know where he’s at in that process. So go with your gut if it feels right, then it is. If it doesn’t, well…it’s time to cut the cord.

How To Win The Dating Game

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:00:28 +0000

Dating doesn’t have to be impossible. It’s easy to get frustrated when dating, especially if you keep getting rejected or your relationships don’t last very long. Forget your dating troubles – here’s how you can actually come out ahead and win the girl of your dreams!

There’s No Magic Formula

When it comes to dating or getting a girl to fall in love with you, there’s no magic formula that will garner you success every time. You’re going to strike out some of the time, and you’re probably not going to meet the girl you’re going to marry right away. However, there are some things you can do to tip the scales in your favor!

Be The Best “You” That You Can Possibly Be

Many guys focus too much on “getting the right girl” or even just getting a girl to give out a phone number that they forget that girls are actually looking at what they’re bringing to the table. You may have the smoothest pick up lines, but if it’s all a front and you’re faking it, you’re not going to get very far at all. You have to be real and genuine, and have enough confidence to know that you’re a catch.

If you’re not a catch, work on improving yourself. Look at what you’re bringing to the table and see if it needs improvement. Do you have a crappy job that you hate or no job at all? Try to find a job that utilizes your skills and that you love. Go back to school if you need to.

Look at your physical health as well. Are you healthy? Do you need to lose weight or tone up? Would you feel better if you did? What about your mental health? Are you in a positive place in your life? Do what you can to make your body and mind healthy – not only will you look better to women, you’ll feel better too and that will come off in your attitude and demeanor.

Instead of trying to convince a girl to go out with you when dating, approach it a little differently. Be the best possible “you” that you can be, whether it’s finding a new job that makes you happy, taking up hobbies that relieve stress or losing weight and getting fit, moving towards the positive in life will put you in the perfect place to meet the right woman.

Never Give Up Your Values

Too many guys try to be the person they think a girl wants – and they change it up depending on what type of girl they’re dating. These guys almost never get women! First of all, a girl can’t tell who a man really is and what he stands for if he’s always changing it – because let’s face it, if a man is always changing his values, attitude and standards, it’s not likely he even knows who he is and what he stands for.
Develop your own morals and values, and stick to them throughout your dating experiences. You will attract women who are compatible with the real you, instead of women who you have to “make” yourself be compatible with. Learn to love yourself for who you really are, and let that confidence in yourself show through.

Don’t Play Games With Women

Have enough respect for a woman – and yourself – to be real with her. Be yourself. Take the risk and put yourself out there – because ultimately, that’s what you want. You want to meet a woman who is your true match and who you are compatible with. If you’re not putting the real you out there and are playing games, you’re either going to meet someone you’re really not compatible with or you’re going to meet a woman who is playing games with you.

Have A Magnetic, Positive Energy

Girls are attracted to men who are positive, magnetic, confident and fun to be around. Guys who are down in the dumps all the time aren’t going to get very many girls. Make sure that when you meet a girl, you’re putting off the right vibe. Be positive, tell funny jokes and listen to what she has to say. Get her laughing and make sure you yourself are laughing. Women will flock to you if you put off that magnetic energy.

Treat A Woman Well

While some girls like the the “bad boy type” type, that usually never lasts very long. If you want to snag the girl of your dreams, you need to learn to treat women well. Treat all women with respect – if you’re with her, support her and encourage her to do the things she loves to do and is passionate about. Don’t criticize women or cut them down. Make her feel great about herself and she’ll fall for you!

Compliment her and build up her self-esteem. Don’t assume that because you told her she’s beautiful one time that she knows you think she’s beautiful and you never have to say it again. If you’re thinking it, say it! Compliment her skills and things that she’s accomplished. Be proud of her.

Make Her Feel Like The Only Girl In The World For You!

All women want to feel loved and feel special to their partners. They also want to feel like they’re the only girl who can ever make you feel the way she makes you feel. So make sure she believes it! Make her feel like she’s the only one for you and you’ll have her falling head over heels.

Learn To Be A More Charismatic Person

Technique is important – and technique is learned, it’s not something that comes naturally. Take some time to learn how to be a more magnetic, charismatic person. Get out there and practice meeting women. Consider working with a dating coach. You’re not going to be completely comfortable introducing yourself and talking to women the first few times you do it, but the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Even getting out there and just developing friendships with other people will help a man get comfortable talking to women – often, men who are uncomfortable talking to women are actually uncomfortable talking to people in general.

How To Use Poetry To Get A Girl

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 14:00:40 +0000

Using seduction to snag a woman isn’t always easy – it takes a lot of thought and planning to be able to say and do the right things to get a woman interested in you. It doesn’t have to be difficult though, because women are hardwired to respond to certain things – it’s part of being a woman. If you think poetry is lame, think again! Here’s how you can use poems as part of your seduction maneuvers and have her falling all over you!

Are Poems Lame?

A lot of guys think that using poetry as part of their seduction tactics is lame. However, there’s a reason most guys think poems aren’t cool – they’re not hardwired to respond to poems like women are. From a guy’s point of view, poetry isn’t going to get you anywhere. Fortunately, you’re looking for things to make a woman swoon. So throw out all of your preconceived notions about poems! You can learn how to use a few simple lines of poetry to make a girl melt, almost guaranteed.

So does reciting poems and employing that old school romance make you look like a fool in front of women? Not hardly! When done the right way, it shows that you have enough strength and inner confidence to try something new and different. Guys who are too “manly” to get in touch with their romantic side like this aren’t going to get very far with the ladies. Using poems as part of your seduction techniques is what is going to make you stand out from the crowd – which is important if you really want the ladies to notice you!

Don’t Be The Guy She Thinks Would Use Poems

If you’re the wimpy, super romantic type of guy who uses poetry and no one is surprised by it, you’re not going to get a lot of women to notice you. To make this seduction tactic to work well for you, you actually have to be the kind of guy that no one would expect to use poems. You have to be very strong, confident and assertive. Be a little bit of a “manly man” on the outside, because that is what’s going to make it so surprising and incredible when you start breaking out the poems.

You want to show her the soft, sweet side of you, but you want to make her believe that she is the only one who gets to see that romantic side. If you’re sweet and romantic all the time, this isn’t going to be believable. To make this work well, you have to be strong enough on the inside to let the romantic side out of you and make yourself vulnerable to her. Really make her feel that she’s the only girl who gets to see this side of you.

Benefits Of Using Poetry

Not many guys are actually doing this. It’s a great way to stand out from the crowd and make yourself noticeable.
Girls love it. Women respond much better to language than anything else. By reciting poems to her, you’re actually speaking a “language” she can understand – which can be better than anything you can buy her or do for her to show her you’re into her. Language is key with women!
You’ll surprise her with that aspect of your personality and it will make you look like there’s more to you than meets the eye – which is extremely attractive to girls!

Don’t Overdo It

Just like with anything else, if you do it too much, it’s going to boring, monotonous and it’s going to get lame. You definitely don’t want to overdo it when it comes to using poems during seduction. If you do, she’ll love it at first, and then begin to get tired of it. She’ll want to see and experience something new and if you’re doing the same thing over and over again, she’ll look for that something “new” in someone else. Think of poetry as your secret seduction weapon that you save for just the right time and place, and you only use it occasionally. Mix it up with flirting and other tactics to keep her interested.

How To Come Up With The Right Poems

If you’re not very good with the written word, or struggle with writing good poetry, look online for some poems that you can recite to her instead. Don’t be afraid to take some creative license with a poem that is already written and make it your own. Make sure to choose a poem that is short and sweet – a long Shakespearean poem is going to bore both you and your partner by the third verse, unless you’re both really into Shakespeare. Remember to have fun with it and don’t make it too serious!

How To Get Girls To Chase YOU

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 14:00:29 +0000

Dating means looking high and low for a woman to ask out – right? Wrong! What if you could get into the dating scheme by having women go after YOU? Instead of being desperate for a date, you’ll actually have women coming your way, wanting to go out with you!

Give Her Space

For a girl to actually want to go after you, she has to actually have room to go after you. If smothering her with attention and asking her out on dates all the time, she’s going to get sick of you being in her space and she’s going to start running. A girl who feels smothered or trapped isn’t going to want to go after you at all – she’ll be wanting to get away from you at every possible turn. At first, this is just because she needs to “breathe” – it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you anymore. However, if you continue to smother her and stay in her space without giving her a chance to recoup, she’s going to try to get away – and stay away.

Let her develop her own life. In fact, encourage it! Make sure she spends time with her friends and you spend time with yours. Have a life outside of your friendship or relationship and make sure she does too. By giving her space, you’re ensuring that she has time to think about you and miss you – after which, she’ll start to go after you!

Let The Attraction Unfold Naturally

This is perhaps one of the most important parts of dating and getting a woman to want to go after you instead of the other way around. Far too many guys “try” too hard to win a woman’s attention and affection, which really has the opposite effect. She’s not going to be very attracted when you’re constantly in her space.

Attraction doesn’t often happen instantly – it’s something that needs to grow over time. When a man tries too hard, he stifles that natural process. The woman he’s interested in is so busy trying to get away that there’s no time for that attraction and sexual tension to develop. Enjoy being together, but don’t start out with high expectations of where the friendship is going to go or if you’re going to get into a monogamous, serious relationship any time soon. Instead, learn to enjoy the moments you have together and let nature take it’s course!

Dating Isn’t The Same As It Used To Be

Women aren’t sitting around anymore waiting for a guy to ask them out. In fact, it’s quite a bit different from the “days of old.” Women hold a lot of power in the dating scene and they’re often the ones who call the shots. The ratio of available guys to women are a bit skewed these days – about 5% of the single male population are the ones getting all the girls, and the other 95% is wondering what happened!

How To Be In The 5%

Look around and take note of all the guys out there that are getting women. What are they doing? How do they dress? How do they act? What are they saying? Chances are, they’re not offering up some cheesy pick up lines. What you’ll notice is that these guys appear strong, confident and independent to the women around them.

They have a life of their own, they have passions and they carry themselves with an aura of confidence and high self esteem. Does that mean you have to be cocky to get women to want to go out with you? Not hardly. But if you’re a wimp who is always asking “permission” for things or apologizing for things, you’re not going to get very far at all.

Learn to be that strong, confident guy. Learn to like yourself for who you are and be yourself when you go into the dating scene. You have something of value to offer – now you just have to believe it.

Develop A Magnetic Personality

For women to approach you, you’ve got to put yourself out there. Be someone who is magnetic, flirtatious, charming and really fun to be around. Have that core inner strength and happiness that radiates outward to other people. This is probably the number one piece of dating advice – if you don’t do anything else, do this. Having a personality that people want to be around is the first step to attracting friends and getting women to go after you – instead of you always having to ask them out!

Dating Tips: Is It OK To Ask For A Phone Number At Work?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 14:44:41 +0000

Dating requires you to ask a woman out first – but how do you get a woman’s number? She may be a co-worker of yours, or you may see her often if she works at a place you frequent. You’d really like to be dating this girl, but is it okay to approach women at work?

Question: Hi Dan and Jenn. I’m a new subscriber. I’ve watched a few of your videos so far but haven’t found one that answers my specific question. I was wondering if it’s okay to ask for a womens number while they’re working? The specific place I’m curious about is Subway. I’ve heard it’s not kosher to do this. Thanks in advance and I hope to learn a lot!

–YouTube Viewer

Dating Won’t Happen Unless You Ask First

The first thing that guys have to understand about the dating process is that it’s probably not going to happen unless YOU do the asking. So you’re pretty much guaranteed a “no” if you don’t ask a woman out. So gather up your courage, and get ready to make the first move!

If You Share A Workplace

When most guys think about asking a girl out at work, it usually means he’s romantically interested in a woman that he is employed with. Generally speaking, this is almost always a bad idea! If you get involved in a relationship with someone you are employed with and things end badly, it can definitely make for quite an awkward situation later. Also, some companies have strict policies against dating at work, and it could cause you to lose your job. It might also end well, so you never know until you try. Just be aware that you’re taking a risk when you consider dating someone that you’re employed with.

At Your Potential Date’s Workplace

The situation is a little different when you talk about how to approach women at their place of business. For example, if the woman you’re interested in works at a restaurant or a hotel that you frequent, there’s no reason not to ask her out there. However, there are some rules that you want to follow if you’re thinking about approaching a woman where she works to ask her out on a date.

Do Not Go At Peak Hours

Every place of business has peak hours, especially restaurants. Never try to ask a woman out at a time where she’s slammed with customers, the boss is watching or she is too busy with other things. This will get you brushed off immediately, even though she may actually be interested in dating you. Timing is everything in this type of situation and if you do it at the wrong time, you’re just not going to get anywhere. Wait until she’s not busy with customers or other things, so she actually has time to process what you’re saying.

Make Sure You’re Able To Get One On One Time

This really goes for when you ask anyone anything – you really want to be one one one with that person, rather than having a bunch of other people listening in on the conversation you’re trying to have. Have the confidence to approach the girl you like when she’s alone.

Establish A Vibe

Going up to a woman you like and asking for a phone number right off the bat probably isn’t going to end well, even if you are one on one with her and no one else is watching or listening. So start flirting with her a little first. Smile at her, joke a little and make eye contact. Establish a connection or vibe first, before you suggest taking her out on a date. It’s more likely that she’ll be interested in dating you if you flirt a little first.

If She Rejects You

Depending on how you’ve set things up (and whether she’s really interested in you or not), you may very well get rejected. Don’t take it personally, especially if you’ve approached her at a bad time. You can always try again at another time. However, if she turns down your dating offer more than once, it’s safe to say that it’s not your timing that is the issue here. Remember that dating is all about having fun and meeting new people – so if you strike out more than once with one particular woman, remember that there are more out there that you could have an even better connection with. Don’t assume that if this one rejects you that it’s all over – because it’s not!

How To Turn Dating Your Crush Into Reality

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 14:00:24 +0000

If dating the woman you really like seems out of reach, think again. With a few simple dating tips, you can make getting the girl you’ve had your eye on for awhile into something more than just a dream. Here’s how you can make dating the girl you like REAL, instead of just a fantasy!

Let Her Know That You Exist

If you really like a woman, nothing is going to happen – ever – if she doesn’t know that you even exist. Bite the bullet, go up to the girl you like and introduce yourself! She’s never going to know who you are if you don’t introduce yourself, and of course, if she doesn’t know who you are, how can you date her?

Get To Know The Woman You Like

Most guys (and gals) that like someone end up fantasizing about who this woman is, what they like and what they don’t like. In reality, however, there’s no way to actually know what this woman is like without really getting to know them. So after you introduce yourself to the girl you like, take the time to get to know her. Talk to her, find out what her interests and disinterests are, as well as what passions drive her.

This will do one of two things – you’ll either get to know her and figure out that you don’t like who she really is and that you’d rather not start dating her, or you’ll like her even more than you already did. Just don’t assume that because you like this woman that you know everything there is to know about them – because your imagination is actually what fills in a lot of the blanks. You may think that you know something about a person, when in all actuality, your imagination came up with that particular characteristic.

How To Get The Woman You Like To Want To Start Dating YOU

To attract women, whether you like them or not, you have to be the kind of guy that attracts women. Be a strong, confident guy who has passions and a drive in life. Learn to love yourself and be happy about where your life is going, so you can then radiate that happiness and confidence outward to other people. THIS is what women are attracted to! They’re not interested in weak, wimpy guys that are desperate to get a girl. In fact, quite the opposite. They want to be dating a guy who is confident in himself, and is happy and fun to be around.

Be positive, optimistic and enthusiastic
Enjoy social situations and meeting new people
Be a part of the “fun” crowd
Have goals in life
Know where you are and where you want to be in life
Be fun to hang out with
Know how to have a great conversation

Access The Emotions That Make Her Addicted To Being Around You

A woman will remember you depending on the way you make her feel. If you don’t make her feel good, all the dating tips in the world aren’t going to help you. She’s either not going to remember you at all or you’ll leave her with a bad memory – which is the exact opposite of what you want to do! Instead, focus on making her feel great when she’s around you.

Have a good time with her
Make her feel incredibly sexy and beautiful
Do interesting, fun, exciting and memorable things together
Show that you’re interested in who she is
Pay attention and listen to her

Never Change Who You Are For A Girl

Remember to never change who you are for a girl. Learn to love yourself for who you are and allow that to shine through – never change yourself to act the way a particular girl wants you to act or look the way a girl wants you to look. Changing who you are to impress someone else is going to do nothing but make you look lame – and the woman you may actually want to be with might see this and count you out because you’re too wishy washy and don’t have that self-confidence.

If the girl you’re interested in isn’t responding well to your dating efforts, let it go. It may not be a good fit, and if you keep trying to make it work with someone it’s obviously not going to work with, you’re going to be making yourself unavailable for the right woman that might come along. If you have that self confidence, you’re going to be able to let it go and move on to another girl who will appreciate you for who you are.

Dating Advice: Tips For The First Night Together

Andrew Wang — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 23:00:30 +0000

Dating will inevitably lead to sex. Here’s how you can make your dating efforts worthwhile and not send your lover running as soon as they walk in the door.

The First Sleepover

You’ve been on a few dates and things are going well, and then your date invites you over for dinner at their place. This can only mean one thing—tonight’s the night you’ll be sleeping over. Whether your place or your partner’s place will be the setting for the main event, there are ways to be better prepared for your romantic sleepover. Just a little advance planning will go a long way toward making sure your overnight experience is a great one.

Stock The Kitchen

Whether you’re hosting the night or your S.O. is, the key to a great sleep over is making sure that you don’t need to leave the apartment or house for anything. If things will be taking place at your apartment or house, you need to make sure that you’ve got food and drink covered for both dinner and breakfast. Get whatever you need for the meals you intend to make, plus some fruit and a snack like nuts or popcorn to have on hand.

Having at least one bottle of wine and a six pack of beer is a good idea, too—that way you have a couple of options in case you don’t like drinking the same thing on the date as your lover. You get extra points if you stock your kitchen with a snack or drink that you know he/she is a big fan of.

Clean The Place Up

If you don’t have time to truly clean your place, at least pick up any clutter and clean the bathroom. Slobs, take note—most people will be grossed out if your bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in over a week. Also be sure to have plenty of toothpaste and hand soap available, along with clean towels. Your date probably won’t be bringing an overnight bag, so it helps to think of what they might need and have it handy.

Throw a new toothbrush in the drawer so they can use it. Just tell them you always keep an extra on hand so they don’t think you thought that sex would be a sure thing. Make sure to make the bed, too, preferably with clean or fairly clean (no more than a couple of days old) sheets. Since you’ll hopefully be heading there sooner in the night rather than later, you want to make sure your bedroom looks nice and inviting. You can go all out with candles and flowers and music, but that isn’t necessary. Some people might even be intimidated by that. As long as the bedroom looks cozy and clean, you’ll be fine.

Pack Appropriately

If you’re the person heading over to your significant other’s place, try to think ahead for what you’ll need to sleep over. Since it’s your first time spending the night together, you can’t really bring over a backpack full of clothes and toiletries. That would look too presumptuous, and if you don’t end up staying the night, you’ll feel silly.

Girls are luckier here, because they usually have a purse on them. If you’re a guy and you’re coming straight from work, you can bring your briefcase or bag and hide some necessities in there. Otherwise, stick with what will fit in your pockets. If you can fit a toothbrush and floss in your bag or pocket, do so. Better still, pack a spare pair of underwear, too.

Since you’ll have to change into your same clothes the following day, having those clean undies will make you feel at least a little fresher. Another thing that always helps is deodorant. You could just sneak some of your date’s, but unless they use unscented or you’re both the same gender, you’ll come out smelling like the opposite sex. Better to bring your own if possible.

You should also consider bringing over a bottle of wine or something else to drink. Even if your mate already has beverages at his or her place, it can’t hurt to have a little more. That means there’s no risk that you’ll run out and have to make a late night wine and liquor store run. Plus, it makes for a nice host or hostess gift to thank them for having you over and cooking for you. Flowers never hurt, either.

Practice Safe Sex

There is one more thing that you need to stock up on, whether you’re the host or the invitee—birth control. Never, ever assume that your date will be supplying proper protection. Better that you both show up with a handful condoms than neither of you do. Nothing ruins the moment faster than realizing that one of you is going to have to go pick something up from the drug store. Plus, you don’t want to be tempted to forego using birth control out of convenience.

If you’re a girl and on the pill, make sure you put your pill pack in your purse. Whether you also use condoms or not, you wouldn’t want to miss your regular dose and throw yourself off. Being prepared with birth control is as important, if not more, as prepping all of the other aforementioned things. It takes the pressure off and lets you enjoy your first night together to the fullest.

How A Girl Can Hook Up With A Guy

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 23:00:36 +0000

Dating is one thing, a one night stand is another. Here’s how to get with a man without bringing home a bunch of baggage.

What She Said:

Dress sexy, show up, flirt and ask him, “Your place or mine?” – repeat.

Dressing Sexy Will Do The Trick a

I’d find four more examples, but this pretty much does the trick every time. It’s not that men are simple creatures by any stretch – but if a woman shows up somewhere with the goal of hooking up, chances are she’s going to find some takers. This is especially true if she’s at a club or bar.

Think About Safety

If you’re a woman looking to hook up instead of dating, please consider safety first. Given the nature of one-night stands, fact of the matter is that you’re probably not going to know this guy very well. Getting laid is fun and there’s no reason why a woman shouldn’t be open about needing/wanting sex.

However, one night of fun is not worth an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. If you’ve got the expendable income, a hotel can be a sexy place to meet – as well as making it neutral territory. If you’re going to his place, take your own car and let a friend know where you are.

Set Boundaries

Make sure to communicate and set the boundaries beforehand. Let him know condom use is a must. Don’t want to wake up and have to brew this guy coffee? Tell him it’s not a sleepover; odds are he won’t mind. You’re calling the shots, so make sure to get what you want and have fun. And, just like I advised the guys, the easiest way to hook up is be cool, honest and respectful.

What He Said:

Umm….seriously? You need help with this? No you don’t. You have a vagina. That means you can get laid anywhere, any place, any time.

Say whatever you want. At the end of the day, it’s a man’s world in every way, except when it comes to sex and dating. Women hold all the cards here. If you want to go get laid, just go into a bar and wait. That’s it. Granted you will have to choose from the guys who approach you, so that may not result in you going home with the guy you want, but you can guarantee that you will go home with someone.

Ask A Man Out

If you really want to up the odds and ensure you go home with the person you want, go up and hit on the guys yourself. Guys love that and it rarely happens. Go up to the hottest guy in the bar and tell him you want him to take you home. Now. Be very up front that this just sex and he won’t be dating you or meeting your friends or family. You’re not bringing him home for inspection. You’re bringing him home to have sex.

Have Him Spring For The Room

There’s really not much else to it. If you just want to have sex, it’s best not to give him your number until after you’ve done it (that way if it’s bad he can’t contact you) and it’s probably best to have him spring for a hotel room somewhere. Basically, you need to be as secretive as the CIA when just randomly hooking up with dudes, because a lot of things can go wrong or turn south in these situations and you just want to limit the risk as much as possible.

Top 5 Ways For A Guy To Hook Up With A Girl

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 23:00:30 +0000

Dating is tough – sometimes you just want to hook up and get some instead of going through the dating process. Here’s five suggestions on how to get a hook up.

What She Said:

Buy her drinks. (The goal is tipsy, not passed out.)
Give her lots of attention and flatter her.
Proposition her directly – she might be so shocked by your honesty that she may take you up on it.
Hit the dance floor at a crowded club and see what happens…
Attend a raging party with the “hook up” goal in mind and start scoping the crowd.

Buy Her Drinks

Honestly, alcohol is the most common component in a one-night stand. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are aware that alcohol lessens inhibitions. But here is where you absolutely need to pay attention – you’re looking for girl who is getting tipsy because she also WANTS to get laid. This must be mutual. You’re looking for a fun night – you don’t want to add “date rapist” to your resume. Seriously.

Compliment Her

Be clear with your hook up. Have the balls to be a man and act responsibly. If you’re not looking for anything serious, let her know up front. It’s not sexy to take advantage of someone emotionally – it’s gross. The fact that you’re both going to use condoms should be a given – you most likely won’t have time to run out and get an STD panel. This is one night – not something you want to live with for the rest of your life, in virtually all aspects.

Be Confident, Respectful And Honest

What’s the best way to hook up? Be confident, be respectful and be honest. If you can’t be any of those things, please do women of the world a favor and masturbate at home with some lotion and this month’s Playboy.

What He Said

Great chocolate
Hang out at male strip clubs/gay bars
Hook up websites
Bars, bars, bars
Honesty

Chocolate Is The Female Viagra

Great chocolate is female Viagra. Period. End of story. All you need to do is find out whether she likes light or dark and then seek out the best, most expensive and amazing chocolatier in your city. Get her a piece or two. Hand it to her and insist she eat it there right in front of you. Watch the look on her face (that’s the face of her having a food orgasm for those of you keeping score at home), then just try not to fuck up the rest of the date until you get home that night, assuming there is a rest of the date after that.

Frequent Gay Bars

I have a friend who is hugely successful hooking up with chicks and he only goes to gay bars and male strip clubs. Why? Do the words “shooting fish in a barrel” mean anything to you? Women love gay bars because they feel safe, their guards are down, but they’re also going to get drunk and horny, and a Chippendale dancer is man’s best friend. Those women will lose their minds over those hard bodies and then they’ll want something else hard and you’ll be there to give it to them.

There are a plethora of adult websites, such as Adult Friend Finder. Put up a profile and go to town.

Bars in general are where girls go to hook up, go there, and do a lap. On that lap, make eye contact with every girl. If they break away, don’t bother. If they keep eye contact, it’s on.

Be Honest With Her

Chicks dig honesty. If you tell her straight up you just want some ass, you’re giving her the gift of choice. She can take it or leave it, but there’s no illusions about what the choices are. She will like that. That may mean she likes your brains out or not. But put it out there. It’s her choice.

Top 5 Places To Meet A Great Girl

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 23:00:59 +0000

Dating around is easy – but finding the right woman isn’t. It’s easy to strike out and find someone that you THINK is great, only to find out a few dates later that they’re not exactly who you thought they were. You really want to meet a great woman and see where it goes, but where do you begin?

What She Said

Zumba classes
The library
Coffee shop
Grocery store
Happy hour at a wine bar

A Zumba (Or Other Exercise) Class

Want to get your groove on? Try a Zumba class! That’s where all the fit chicks will be dancing in tight-fitting workout clothes. You’ll stand out in a sea of ladies – and women dig a man with enough balls to enroll in a dance class. Bonus – you’ll be getting in even more shape!

The Library

Meeting a woman at the library is one of the older dating tips, but it’s a good one. It means the woman you have your eye on is probably well read, which can lead to an intellectual connection. While “book smart” might not be number one on your list, think of it this way – most women connect intellectually and emotionally before hitting the sack. Besides, if you’re looking for a girlfriend and not just sex, you’ll be happy knowing you’ve found someone you can talk to.

A Coffee Shop

Ah, coffee shops – the liquid matchmaker of our modern times. Starbucks is probably indirectly responsible for helping create as many babies as they are non-fat vanilla lattes. Hanging at your local caffeine peddler’s place is a great way to read the Sunday paper – and scope out potential dates.

The Grocery Store

Most people are creatures of habit and this is where the grocery store comes in. Given our hectic schedules during the workweek, most folks finding themselves usually doing their food shopping at the same time each week. This give you the opportunity to chat with a crush in the soup aisle until it’s time to make your move and go out on a date.

Bars

Once again, bars are more known for one night stands than long-term unions – but there are exceptions to every rule. Hard alcohol usually means “party time,” while a wine bar generally indicates civilized sipping. Meeting up over a glass of wine is a great way to relax and get to know someone. Once again, most creatures of habit tend to frequent the same Happy Hour each week, which gives you the opportunity to get to know someone over repeated run-ins.

What He Said

Educational classes
Fitness classes
Yoga Retreats
Eat, Pray, Lovebook club
Subway

Educational Classes

Chicks dig learning, more so than guys. For women, life is a journey. For men, it’s a destination, so if you’re into learning (or can fake it) you have a natural in with women. One of the best dating tips is to take a class in something you might be interested in or that a woman you’re attracted to might be interested. You’ll be good to go.

Fitness Classes

Men go to the gym. Women go to classes at the gym. Big difference. You’ll see a totally different group of people in those fitness classes than you will walking around the weight room, which by definition is a sausage fest. Go, become a regular and then you’ll get credibility (she’ll think you’re really into that class as opposed to being the creepy guy just going to classes to pick up chicks that you are). Use that credibility to strike up a conversation and boom! You’re in.

A Yoga Retreat

Yoga retreats have a pretty standard 90% women to 10% guys ratio. You’re on vacation, her stress, worry and inhibitions are back and home, what happens on retreat stays on retreat…you do the math.

Eat, Pray, Love Book Club

Eat, Pray, Love will get you a woman. Period. I’ll explain, while on a yoga retreat (where I learned the 90/10 rule), every woman was talking about how that book changed their lives (it’s literally a cult, that book), so when I got home I ran to the book store and bought it and started reading it, and carrying around with me so I could sneak in a few pages wherever I went. Women were stopping me left and right. They couldn’t believe I was reading this book (NOTE: you will need to actually read it. It won’t work otherwise, and these women WILL quiz you on it). Buy it, read it, and it’s on.

A Subway Restaurant

Hanging out at a Subway is one of the surprisingly good dating tips that help you meet a woman and see what’s she’s into. If she orders a foot long, let her pass. If she orders the six inch, it’s on! Seriously though, if you’re trying to meet women, set a goal of talking to twenty hot chicks a day and don’t go to sleep until you to. Do that for a week. Pretty soon you’ll see the obvious: hot chicks are everywhere. You don’t have to worry about going to a specific place. It’s always on.

Top 5 Places To Meet A Great Guy

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 23:00:57 +0000

So you’re a girl and you’re prowling the dating scene. You want to find yourself a great guy, but where do you go? How do you find him without losing your mind?

What She Said:

The Gym
A Sports Bar
The Library
A Farmer’s Market
Through Friends

The Gym

The gym is a fun place to meet men. It instantly shows that you’re both into taking care of yourselves physically – and being physically fit usually leads to a healthier frame of mind. A gym membership also gives you the opportunity to run into the guy you’re crushing on. Perhaps you’re in the same spin class or are hitting the treadmill at 6 PM everyday. It’s a great opportunity for flirting.

A Sports Bar

A bar might sound like a no go – but I find a sports bar to be a great place to gather socially. There’s a reason to be there, as well as a community spirit in watching a game. Most guys are sharing pitchers of beer instead of shots – not always the case, of course. But loosening up over a few brews is a little more civilized than tequila shooters. This is you looking for a mate – not Spring Break. Much like the gym, frequenting your local sports hangout during football season gives you reason to run into your crush again and again.

The Library

I’m a fan of a guy with smarts – thus the library is a favorite haunt when on the hunt. In this day and age of endless media, Kindle and iPads it’s nice to share camaraderie with someone who still appreciates holding literature in his hands.

A Farmer’s Market

A Farmer’s Market is usually held on the same day of the week during the season – which, once again, provides the opportunity to seek out your gentleman crush on a regular basis. Plus all that organic produce is good for you!

Through Friends

While the set up via friends can be rife with complications, it’s also been known to create love matches as well. Besides, it’s free – unlike an online dating service, which doesn’t come with friend-approved references. Ultimately, the best way to meet a great guy is to be a great gal. Be happy with who you are and the right guy will most likely gravitate towards you. Don’t be afraid to take chances in the meantime!

What He Said:

Let me start out with where NOT to find a guy: through your friends. Yes, yes, I know. Jenna recommended it, but for my money, finding a mate through a friend is like borrowing money from (or loaning money to) a family member: it always ends badly. It’s best not to add that dimension to your relationship. That being said, the top five places to meet a guy are:

The Gym
Hardware/Grocery Stores
Classes
Online Dating Sites
Sports Bars

Gyms & Sports Bars

The gym and sports bars are by their definition, sausagefests. Yes, I know women go to the gym, but they take classes more than they work out. Dress like as hot as possible in the most flattering workout clothes you can find, and your set. Sports bars are even easier. Just get yourself a jersey and the tightest jeans you can (they should make your butt look ah-mazing), grab a beer and wait. Men will be all over you.

Hardware/Grocery Stores

Home Depot and other home improvement stores are great to meet guys. You don’t see many women there, and if they are there they are with their mates. Go in and look clueless and ask a hot guy for help. The same goes for any store, really. Grocery stores, anywhere. Just ask a guy for help and you’re good.

Classes

Classes are a great place to meet guys. Figure out what kind of guy you want and figure out what he might be interested in and take a class in that and you will have an organic reason to talk to each other and you might even get put into a study group!

Online Dating Sites

Online dating sites are great! I know, I know. There are a lot of creepy guys out there, but the odds on most online dating sites work in your favor. You just put up a profile and pick and choose who you want to meet.

Trust me, if you consistently put yourself out there, you will find someone! Enjoy the process!

How To Be A Nice Guy – And Get All The Girls

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 14:00:02 +0000

Dating a “bad boy” may seem fun at first for girls, but the relationship will quickly fizzle. Women may be attracted to the bad boy type in the beginning, but it’s not going to last long because soon, they get tired of them being rude, selfish and inconsiderate.

Sweet guys are great, but men that are too sweet don’t attract many women because of their decided lack of backbone. Fortunately, there’s a compromise – you CAN be a “nice” guy, but you can also be strong and assertive – which is totally attractive to women. Here’s how to be the kind of man she REALLY wants.

Do Girls Really Like Bad Boys?

It’s a common belief that girls like bad boys – but is it true? Not exactly. Girls like the idea of a bad boy, but they really like the nice guys better. Women like the idea that a man can be strong, confident and a little naughty, but they don’t like being treated badly like so many “bad” boys do. Most women like nice guys better – as long as they’re not too nice.

Nice Doesn’t Have To Equal Wimpy And Submissive

Women want a strong, confident man. That’s why they often gravitate to the “bad boys.” Initially, a woman can be smitten with the confident persona that a guy like this puts on, but for long term relationships it almost never works out. Women want to be treated well and a lot of these type of guys tend to be more aggressive and demeaning towards women. Not at first, of course, because in any dating situation, a man is going to put is best foot forward to try to seduce a woman. However, as time goes on, he starts becoming more comfortable with her and may end up treating her less like his girlfriend and more like an object.

So being a “bad boy” isn’t going to get you very far with women – but being “nice” doesn’t mean that you have to be wimpy and submissive. In fact, women really don’t like wimpy or submissive guys. You can be nice, courteous and respectful towards a girl without giving up your confidence. In fact, being respectful and kind while still being strong and confident is what is most attractive to women!

Don’t Get Caught Being “Too” Sweet

Part of being this kind of man is listening to a girl, being there for her, complimenting her, etc. But you don’t want to get caught being too sweet, because this can have the opposite effect. If you’re really going overboard, you’re going to give off that “wimpy” vibe, which is exactly what you DON’T want to do.

If you’re being too sweet, you’re going to end up getting stuck in the friend zone – where she talks to you about all her problems because you’re such a great listener like her girlfriends! You don’t want to get in this mess either. You want to be a strong, confident sweet guy that makes her feel great – not like she’s sitting down for a gab-fest with one of her best friends.

Know How To Be Firm And Assertive When The Situation Calls For It

Part of the difference between wimps and men who are sweet but also strong and confident is that strong, confident men know exactly how to be firm and assertive when the situation calls for it. Wimpy guys are sweet and sensitive ALL the time, and this isn’t going to get you anywhere with a woman. A woman wants a guy who can man up if need be.

Don’t be too needy, too clingy or wishy-washy in your decisions. When dating, be assertive enough to choose the restaurant you’re going to take her to, but nice enough to open the door and pull out the chair for her. Don’t order FOR her, but ask her what she’d like and then tell the wait staff. There are lots of ways to show a woman that you’re confident enough to run the show, but also that you’re going to treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

You WILL Get Rejected At Some Point

Not every woman is going to say “yes” when you ask her out, even when you have the right persona. This is something you’re going to have to come to terms with – because even if you think you’re saying and doing everything perfectly, not every woman is going to respond to what you’ve got to offer. However, realizing that this is just part of it is what is going to get you past it. When you are confident enough to get rejected without taking it too personally, you’ll start getting rejected less and less.

Be Genuine

While learning how to be a sweet guy is great for getting the ladies, make sure you’re actually being genuine about it and that this is who you really want to be. If you’re faking it to manipulate a girl into feeling a certain way by pretending you’re someone you’re not, any relationship you get into isn’t going to last long before the girl figures out what is really going on.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are and don’t be too nervous to show the REAL you to a woman. If you don’t, she will eventually get to know the real you and realize that it’s not who you were at the beginning. Love yourself for who you are and use that to be authentic with a woman. Being authentic is what will help you find women that you’re actually compatible with!

Say Goodbye To Dating Anxiety – Forever!

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 14:00:11 +0000

Dating is enough to make anyone apprehensive. Most people worry about saying the right thing, wearing the right clothes and not making any mistakes – but the truth is, you don’t have to be worried about it at all! Here’s how to get rid of dating apprehension for good.

Most Guys Suffer From Dating Anxiety

If you get apprehensive when you start talking to a girl, you’re not alone. The far majority of guys get a little freaked out when they approach women and they often stutter, fidget or choke on their words. They seem really awkward – even when they’re smooth when they’re around their friends. Even though most guys have trouble with getting flustered and flubbing up when they approach women, you don’t have to!

Understanding Basic Social Anxiety

A lot of people who have apprehension when “dating” may actually just be apprehensive socially. If you find yourself getting flustered most of the time when you’re in a new situation with new people, it may not necessarily be that you are apprehensive about women at all – you may actually have social anxiety. Signs of apprehension in all social situations might be:

Freezing up in social situations that do or do not include women
Difficulty talking to new people in general
Being limited in your ability to express yourself

Being apprehensive in new social situations isn’t uncommon, but it can definitely wreak havoc not only on your love life, but your life in general. Things that should be simple, such as striking up a conversation with a girl or asking a girl out can seem impossible. Other ways it can affect your life might be:

Problems talking with new people in general, regardless of their gender
Trouble making friends with new people
Can lead to sadness, depression and reduced satisfaction with life in general

Relax!

The first thing you need to do when you struggle with getting flustered in new social situations is to make an effort to consciously relax. Any time you start to feel apprehensive, take a few minutes to calm down and breathe in and out slowly. Remember that it’s going to be okay!

You can also practice yoga or meditation in your spare time to learn great relaxation techniques that you can use any time. Yoga and meditation help you learn how to calm down overall, but they also teach techniques that you can use in the heat of the moment to collect yourself and decrease your stress right away.

Practice Makes Perfect

A lot of guys struggle with approaching new people and starting a conversation, simply because they’ve not done it a lot and don’t have any confidence in themselves to do it. It’s normal to be apprehensive about doing something that you’ve never done before or don’t do often – so get out there and practice talking to people! The more you talk to people – both men and women – the less apprehensive you will be about striking up a conversation out of the blue with a new person.

If you focus on meeting new people and putting yourself in new social situations, you’re going to be uncomfortable at first, but you’re going to get used to it and soon it will be like second nature to you. There’s a reason all those “suave” guys are so suave – they go up to women and talk to them all the time!

Getting Help For Serious Anxiety

While most people are at least a little apprehensive in new situations, there are some people who struggle with anxiety all the time. The symptoms of clinical anxiety are similar to general apprehension in new social situations, but can be more persistent or severe. If you struggle with nervousness often, you may want to seek the advice of your doctor or another medical professional. They can help you:

Find a counselor or someone to talk to about your feelings
Recommend medication for some people
Suggest other treatments that may help you lead a more normal, happy life

It’s All About Having Fun

Remember that dating is all about putting yourself out there and having fun. Yes, you risk getting rejected and the more women you approach, the more you might get rejected. However, think of it this way – learn to appreciate any successes you have, no matter how small they are. If you ask out twenty girls and only one of them says yes, don’t think of it as getting nineteen refusals. You have a date soon! Forget all the “no’s” and go get ready for a really great first date.

How To Get Her Addicted To You

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 14:00:27 +0000

Dating can be tough if you don’t know the right things to say and do to get a woman. Whether a woman likes you or not is dependent on saying and doing things that will make a woman swoon – so here’s how to get a woman completely OBSESSED with you!

Saying Something Is Better Than Saying Nothing At All

You may have the perfect pick up line in your head, but if you never actually start a conversation with a woman, your pick up lines are going to get you nowhere fast. Even if you flub your “lines” or don’t end up saying the right thing, opening your mouth and putting yourself out there will get you farther with a woman than standing silently on the sidelines.

Find out if you and the girl you’re interested in have something in common. It’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone if you both have something in common – so ask a woman what she likes and find out if you have any similar interests. As you begin talking about things that you like, don’t like and enjoy doing, you’ll start getting to know each other – which opens the door to the next step.

Always Stay True To Yourself

Many guys are tempted to try to be the guy they “think” a woman wants when they start flirting. However, this can end up backfiring on you fast because it won’t take long for a woman to realize that you’re being wishy washy about your interests and you’re not really being yourself.

Learn to like yourself for who you are and learn to be confident in your own skin. Take that confidence with you when you introduce yourself to a woman, and don’t be afraid to put the real you out there. Don’t fake your interests because you think she’ll like you better that way. Be like a rock in what you like and what you don’t like – because let’s face it – if she doesn’t like you for who you really are, do you really want to be with her anyways?

Have Fun With Her

Women remember how they feel during an encounter with a guy much more than they remember what was said or what actually happened. Any time you’re with a girl, make her feel amazing! Make her laugh, pay compliments and make her feel like she’s the only woman in the room.

If you get to go on a date with a woman, make sure you have lots of fun things planned in advance. Don’t just take a woman to dinner and a movie – that’s okay, but it’s not going to evoke any new emotions and make you stand apart from every other guy that’s ever taken her out to dinner and a movie. Instead, take your woman on adventurous dates such as hiking or bike riding. Make sure she feels excited when she’s with you and that things are unpredictable and fun!

As you get to know a girl, start encouraging her to reach the goals she has in life. Be there for your woman and be supportive of what she wants to do and where she wants to go in life. Show a woman that what is important to her is important to you too.

Have No Fear

When dating, you really have to be willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. You’ll find that the more willing you are to take risks and approach women and start conversations with them, the more women will actually be interested in you. Guys who are scared or fake it don’t end up with many women – or any at all!

Quit waiting for the right time to go up to a woman, or the right situation to come out of your shell. You’re never going to find the perfect “time” or the perfect “situation” to ask a girl out. If you’re waiting for everything to be perfect, that time will never come. Instead, just go for it! Go up to a woman and start talking. You may not get a good response every single time you do, but you’re never going to get anywhere at all if you don’t actually start doing it!

Be strong, confident and put the real you out there. When you take a risk and make yourself vulnerable by being yourself, women will notice. Don’t be afraid to go up to them and start a conversation – when take that first step, you’ll find that it’s easy to get a girl to become infatuated with you!

How To Plan An Incredible Date

Andrew Wang — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 23:00:31 +0000

Dating involves coming up with new ideas for dates all the time – check out these amazing tips if you really want to add the “WOW” factor to your next date!

Whether there’s a special occasion on the horizon, like your significant other’s birthday, or it’s just your turn to decide on Friday night’s date, you can make plans that will impress your partner. A little effort and forethought can go a long way toward coming up with a fantastic date concept.

How To Plan The Perfect Date

The key to planning the perfect date is to build it around your mate’s interests. In an ideal world, you’ll be able to find points of interest that you both share. Sometimes, however, you’ll find that you need to go with some ideas that won’t be quite as enjoyable to you as they are to your S.O. Either way, by demonstrating that you’ve paid attention to your partner’s interests, you will be sure to impress and please them.

So start mulling over your mate’s favorite activities, and think back to anything they might have mentioned in recent conversations. Is he/she a music fan, a sports fanatic or a film buff? Whether they’re a foodie, a bookworm, or a theater lover, try to find an out-of-the-ordinary event tied to their big interest.

How To Find Great Date Ideas

Check out the internet or the arts and entertainment section of your local newspaper for upcoming events. Then start thinking outside the box. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is an art lover, see if the city nearest you has a gallery crawl night. It’s like an extra-special trip to the museum. If she is in love with boos, take her to a reading by one of their favorite authors at a local bookstore.

If there’s not a particularly fitting event coming up, try finding a learning experience you can enjoy together. If your S.O. is a gourmand, try taking a cooking class or going to a wine or coffee tasting seminar. If you’re both fitness fiends, look for a walk-in yoga or kick boxing class to attend. Learning experiences are the dates that keep on giving, whether you end up signing up for more classes together or practicing your new skills as a team at home.

Great Dates Can Last All Day – Or Night!

Another key to planning the perfect date is going beyond one simple event. Don’t just buy two tickets to a hard to find foreign film playing at the art house theater near you. Make a full night or afternoon of it. Plan a meal before the movie at a nearby restaurant that serves your S.O.’s favorite kind of food. Then, after the film, grab coffee or drinks together at a new bar or café you haven’t gone to before.

Experiencing new places and things together helps give you both unique memories together. Likewise, you can go the opposite route and recreate elements of a favorite date from earlier in your relationship. Demonstrating that you paid such great attention to a previously beloved evening can be very romantic.

Planning A Theme Date

Going so far as to plan a theme for your date can also be very impressive. Say your boyfriend or girlfriend is a big jazz lover, and you get tickets to see a jazz band perform. Try planning a ‘50s beatnik evening, starting at a coffee house before the performance followed by dinner at a French bistro. You don’t have to dress the part or anything, but that extra attention to detail shows your S.O. how much thought you put into your date ideas.

Even a night in can be more fun with a theme. Instead of your normal Friday night of pizza and TV, try surprising your mate with something unexpected. A homemade Moroccan dinner followed by mint tea and Casablanca on DVD can make for a great evening. In the end, if you show that you considered your partner’s unique tastes and took the time to plan something special, you’ll be sure to have an amazing time together.

How To Talk To Women Without Freezing Up

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 14:00:53 +0000

Dating can be intimidating if you don’t know how to talk to women. Many guys get nervous or frustrated when they try to talk to women, because they’re just not sure what to say, how to act or what to do. Here’s what you can to do make sure you don’t clam up and make a fool out of yourself!

Relax!

The most important thing you can do when dating and talking to women is to relax and take everything in stride. When you start getting stressed out and worried about doing well or what she’ll think of you, everything will go downhill quickly. Give off an energy of being quiet, calm and confident. Relax and be fun to be around. Laugh at things around you that are funny and stay calm. Don’t allow yourself to get too nervous or worked up over dating, because if you do, you’ve already sealed your fate and you won’t do well at all.

Avoid Trying Too Hard

A lot of guys end up trying to hard when dating. They try too hard to be funny, but end up telling really lame or offensive jokes. Or, they may try too hard to be sexy or to turn a woman on, but they end up coming across as really overbearing, sexual or creepy. The best thing you can do is to avoid trying TOO hard. You definitely want to put your best foot forward, but this is where relaxing comes into play. You want to keep from trying to hard, because you’ll probably end up turning her off, big time.

Be Yourself

A girl is going to find out who you really are anyway once you start dating her, so why not just be yourself from the very get go? Along with trying too hard, a lot of men try to be the kind of guy they think a woman wants, but it usually ends up backfiring. While you definitely want to be the best you that there is, don’t pretend to like things you don’t like, do things you don’t do or dislike things you actually really enjoy. Be confident in who you are and put yourself out there. There are definitely going to be women who will appreciate that you took the risk to be honest and true to yourself.

Things To Talk About

Most guys worry about what to say when it comes to dating. They want specific things that they can discuss during a date so they never have a lull in the conversation or those awkward silences. While following where the conversation naturally leads is the best thing you can do, here are some things you can say (and things you need to avoid) to be successful.

Do you have anything in common? This can be movies, music, hobbies or whatever. Think about the things you like and ask her if she likes any of the same things.
Don’t talk too much about yourself. This can make you seem egotistical and self absorbed – which every woman hates. Make sure you ask her questions about herself too and genuinely listen to her answers.
Don’t complain about things. While you might be getting really crappy service at the restaurant you’re at, or you spilled on yourself and your car won’t start, it’s important that you laugh things off – especially on the first date. Don’t come off too pessimistic.

Focus On Her

Do you know how many times a girl has been on a date with a guy that won’t shut up about himself? Tons. So don’t be that guy. Instead, put the focus on her. Ask her questions (that aren’t too creepy) and be interested in the answers. What does she like to do for fun? What kind of music does she like or what kind of movies does she like to watch? What is she passionate about? What drives her? What is she proud of in her life? If you ask a woman about herself and are actually interested in what she has to say (and she will sense if you’re faking it) she’ll be smitten with you from the get go.

Don’t Be Afraid To Flirt

Girls love flirting – that’s all there is too it. Flirting can be so much fun for both the guy and the girl. Tease her, compliment her, touch her lightly on the arm or leg and get close to her. Laugh at things that are funny and give her a genuine smile with some smoldering eye contact. Witty banter is priceless when it comes to talking to women, but make sure you’re not teasing her too hard. Mixing up a little teasing with genuine compliments and good, engaging conversation is an excellent formula for flirting success.

Things To Remember

While you definitely want everything to develop on its own naturally, there are some things you want to keep in mind when you’re out dating and making friends with women:

You’re not “performing.” Relax and have fun!
Avoid pick up lines. Pick up lines almost never work.
Women are attracted to men that give off a fun, confident energy. Be that guy! People will start to flock to you (girls included) if you are fun to hang out with.
Don’t be afraid of pauses in the conversation. All conversations have natural pauses, especially if you’re having dinner – you definitely need to take a few minutes here and there to eat! Let the conversation develop naturally, without worrying about awkward silences. Pauses in the conversation actually create sexual tension – which is a very good thing!

Practice Makes Perfect

Like with anything, practice makes perfect when it comes to dating and having a conversation with a woman. If you struggle with being comfortable talking to women, practice doing it even with girls you’re not interested in dating. Go up to women on a daily basis and make an effort to strike up conversations with them. It may be difficult for you to do at first, but as you continue doing it, you’re going to become more and more comfortable with the concept of just approaching women and making conversation with them. This means that when the right girl finally does come along, you’re going to be well prepared for having a fun, successful conversation with her.

What To Talk About On Your First Date

Vin DiCarlo — Wed, 18 May 2011 23:00:04 +0000

The first date can be nerve wracking, because you’re just not sure what you’re going to say. Keeping the conversation going between you and a girl isn’t always easy. Here’s how to make the first date go smoothly.

At A Loss For Words?

So say you mustered up the courage to go and approach a girl you find attractive, and she responded well and is engaged in conversation with you, but then all of a sudden you find yourself at a loss for words, and now you are digging for any topic that may keep conversation going. This is a common problem with many men when interacting with women but by simply changing the way you view the interaction can bring your conversation skills through the roof.

Have A Genuine Interest In Her

The number one important thing to finding what to discuss is actually having a genuine interest in the girl you are conversing with. When people try to improve their abilities to converse with and attract the opposite sex, they seem to view many conversations as “practice” and just being able to hold a conversation for an extended period of time becomes the goal at had.

You need to remove yourself from this mindset and make sure your focus is in the right place. If you are focusing on what to say next, there is a good chance you are not listening to or taking in what the girl has to say. Instead always keep your focus on the girl and keep the mindset that you WANT to find more about this person. Every girl you converse with should spark intrigue in you, this will make you ask genuine questions hat lead to genuine answers.

Find Common Ground First

To establish a strong string of conversation, there are two ways you should view the way the conversation you are having. First off, your number one goal with all of this is to find a commonality between the two of you, that is when natural conversation emerges, when you are both discussing something similar you share. The best way to do this is by asking questions that appeal to the girl on an emotional level.

Really Get To Know Her

Instead of just asking one generic question after the other, dig deeper because you actually care to get to know this girl. Ask questions that ask how she feels about that subject, or why she associates with it, or how she plans on engaging what you are discussing. It is like being a good sports reporter. You will never hear the reporter ask simply what the athlete did to score the touchdown, instead they ask how the athlete feels after scoring it. All questions you ask should come from your own expressive curiosity in the girl, only ask things you actually care about.

Listen To What She Is Saying

Next, when the girl is responding to your questions, you want to be listening with an active appreciation for what she is saying. Be happy that this girl is taking the time to open up to you and listen to everything she is saying. Do not worry about what to say next but simply take in her response, if you have gotten her on a semi-emotional level, you will naturally want to respond by opening up about something in your life, which becomes the basis for your first commonality/connection, making the rest of the conversation go very smoothly.

Once You’ve Achieved An Emotional Connection

You have the opportunity to create a connection because you have gotten her on the emotional level, there are so many ways to respond once the girl reaches this state of conversation. For example you could discuss where you lived when you were young, your experiences at the beach, or your favorite childhood memory. Just remember to open up on an emotional conversational level after the girl does and a strong bond will be made, cementing your first conversation on a level like no other.

Foolproof Ways To Get His Or Her Number

Andrew Wang — Mon, 16 May 2011 23:00:56 +0000

Dating isn’t something you can even think about until you get a phone number. When you meet someone new that sparks your interest, it can be pretty thrilling. In the midst of your flirty conversation, it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement of meeting someone new. All that happiness will mean nothing, however, if you don’t get their contact information.

Though it can feel awkward outright requesting someone’s phone number, you’ll have to find a way to ask for it before your initial meeting is over. A little tact and flirting can go a long way in helping you get that all-important information.

How To Get Their Contact Information

Say you’re out at a party making conversation with a guy or girl who has managed to get your attention. The night is winding down, and you know that you want to see this intriguing individual again. What’s the best way to get their contact information? There are a few different approaches. Simple honesty may be the best. As it’s time to say goodbye, matter-of-factly state that you’re so glad you met, you had a wonderful time talking during the party, and you’d like to see him/her again.

Then ask for a phone number or, at the very least, their email. You can always email them for their number later. If you’re not up to explaining your motives so plainly, mention an upcoming party or group event you’d like to invite them to, and request their number or email so you can send them more information about it. Of course, you’ll have to actually bring them to the event you reference, but that doesn’t mean you can’t call and ask them on a date before then.

Use Social Networking To Your Advantage

If asking for a phone number or email address makes you too nervous, or if you forget to ask while you’re at the party, social networking can save you. It’s not exactly the most impressive way to contact someone, but if you can find them on Facebook or Myspace, you can friend them. Then you can ask for their number in a message. Make a witty remark when you send that message, mentioning that you meant to ask for their number that night, but were so caught up in your great conversation that you forgot to.

A little flattery will get you somewhere, and jokingly acknowledging that you should’ve asked in person helps, too. Another option that will keep you from having to ask is even simpler. While at the party, offer your own number. If you hand over your phone number, the person you’re speaking with is likely to offer you theirs in return, no asking required.

What Not To Do

All of these methods are good, but what should you avoid doing when attempting to get a phone number? Cheesy pick up lines only work if you’re joking, and he or she knows it. Unless you know you’re being so obviously funny that you won’t offend, sleazy lines will ensure you strike out.

Never just walk up to a person, tell them you think they’re cute, and ask for their digits. Have an actual conversation first, and you’re more likely to be taken seriously when the time comes to get his/her number. Most importantly, don’t let on that you’re nervous. This isn’t a wedding proposal—you’re just asking for a phone number! Keep that in mind, remain calm and confident, and you’ll be calling each other in no time.

Dating Tips: How To Make The First Approach

Vin DiCarlo — Mon, 09 May 2011 14:00:06 +0000

Dating starts when you first go up to a woman – but the way you do it can be crucial to how far you can go with her. Here’s how to make the initial introduction perfect.

So maybe you are out running an every day errand, maybe you are getting some drinks at a bar or club, either way, all you know is that you are going a long with your business and like a fly to a neon light, you see some girl that completely captures your attention. All you want is to be able to go up and talk to her, flirt with her, sweep her off her feet, and walk out with her.

However for some, this task simply remains an idea while they sit idly and watch the girl they admire walk away, many times to never be seen again. Well if one can apply the simple concepts presented in this article, difficulty making an introduction will become a thing of the past.

She Probably Won’t Introduce Herself To You

First thing you need to understand is that the girl will almost never make an introduction on you, per say. What I mean is that it is extremely rare that any girl will go out of her way, go up to you, and initiate the conversation, I don’t care how good looking you are, it almost never happens so get that idea out of your head and never wait around for it. Girls do however go out of their way to make themselves readily available for your introduction.

This is because it is your job, as the man, to go up, pick the girl you want, and initiate the conversation. It is your right as a man; never forget this. There is nothing socially wrong with it, if anything it is expected of you.

So the key to a successful first introduction is identifying what kind of girls want to be approached. Often times, it goes wrong for a guy it is because they are waiting around too long, missing opportunities the girl presents, or simply introduce yourself girls that are not currently open to flirting. So the step is identifying the two major things that a girl will do to open herself to your introduction.

How She Will Open Herself Up To You

Eye Contact

This is by far the most important window that a girl can present to you for you to open. Think about what its like when you walk through a busy street. As you walk on your way, there are naturally people that just catch your eye, sometimes it is a pretty girl, other times it is just someone in your vicinity, point is subconsciously your mind works to make yourself aware of your surroundings. We do this by making brief eye contact with the people around us and girls do the same exact thing.

If you are out and about and you happen to notice a girl look in your direction and you make eye contact with her, even for just a brief second, consider that your push in the butt to go up and talk to her. Because she has recognized you in her surroundings/subconscious, she will not be startled and taken aback by your introduction, in fact about 80% of the time girls make eye contact with a guy is because they found something about them attractive in one way. Think of it like an 80% chance that the dating will go well.

Proximity

Meaning that the girl is in your vicinity. Think of it like this, you are at bar or club and you see a girl you like within her group of friends. Her actions may show that she is in fact very open to being approached, regardless if they are on purpose or subconscious. If you notice the girl standing within a 10 foot radius of yourself for more than 3 mins, she has processed you in her surroundings and will be much more susceptible to an introduction. If you notice her walking by you on more than one occasion, you sure as hell better make an introduction. And lastly if you are noticing her facing you within her group or wherever she may be, she is opening herself to be approached by you.

Combining eye contact and proximity will make the dating go smoothly, especially if you can combine it with this very simple formula for introducing yourself to a girl you find attractive.

Now what I am about to share may sound like a pick up line to some but it should not be viewed like that. It should be viewed as a natural response to a women you find attractive. Although sometimes there are opportunities where something clever and situational can be made into an introduction, it is much simpler to have a natural response to women you find attractive so you don’t over think anything.

Foolproof Introduction To An Attractive Girl

Walk over. Stop. Make eye contact and say:

“Hey I know this seems random but I think you are really cute and I wanted to come over and introduce myself, my name is ______”

Then stick your hand out for a handshake.

This direct introduction works because it allows her to see your intentions from the start, showing you have a general interest in her, if she engages in the conversation, then she is accepting your interest and you already know from the start it is on. Also by putting your hand out and introducing yourself, it allows for her to accept your introduction and be open to a conversation cause you are just being friendly. It is a natural response to shake hands and introduce yourself to someone you just met so by encouraging her to do so after your introduction.

By saying “I know this seems random” in the beginning, you are also addressing the only real objection a girl has to a stranger approaching them, having it be random, so by saying it you take that fear away. Also if you had got eye contact with her or it had her in your proximity, your introduction will be anything but random.

If you can make this style of introduction your go to move when you have nothing clever to say or are otherwise at a loss for words, you will find that even the most attractive girls open up because you are showing social awareness and genuine interest.

Dating Advice: Who Should Make the First Move?

Andrew Wang — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 23:00:36 +0000

In today’s dating world, long gone are the days of Sadie Hawkins dances. Now it’s as common for girls to ask out guys as it is the other way around. Yet some women still prefer to be pursued, and some men still prefer to be the pursuer. When you’ve met someone new and are interested in dating them, how can you tell which of you should make the first move? Observing their general behavior during your initial encounter can be very helpful, along with assessing just how comfortable you are being the asker.

Should She Ask Him Out?

If you’re the lady in the equation, it’s important to figure out what kind of guy you’re dealing with. If he’s a confident guy and is showing obvious interest in you, there’s a good chance he’ll do the asking. Of course, his big personality may attract lots of women, so he may be used to being hotly pursued.

If he seems like the life of the party, you can actually go either way. You can rest assured that he’s accustomed to women asking him out, so he won’t be bothered by you making the move. On the other hand, playing hard to get and making him do some of the work might actually pay off more for you. Men who are used to being chased after are often more intrigued by the women that make them do the chasing.

How To Do It

If you follow the latter option, make sure to flirt it up and make your affection for him just obvious enough that he knows you’re interested.Then sit back and wait for him to come to you. If you find yourself interested in a shy type, you’re most likely going to have to ask him out. This is especially true if you’re not shy yourself, as your overt confidence may be slightly intimidating to a shy guy. If you yourself are also shy or simply don’t believe in making the first move, take heart.

The best way to ask him out without really doing so is getting a friend to intervene. Have a mutual friend let him know that you’re interested in a seemingly uncontrived way. That should be all the confidence boosting he’ll need to make a move on you.

Should He Ask Her Out?

What if you’re the guy in the scenario? Guys can always feel comfortable with making the first move. Even if the woman you ask is used to asking guys out first, she won’t be put off by you beating her to the punch. Luckily for them, men have never had to worry about the unfortunate stigma of seeming desperate if they pursue someone.

Some women still fear that stigma though, so you can make it easier on her and ask a girl out. The modern man does need to worry about becoming too complacent, though. If you’re the type of guy that gets asked out all the time, be careful not to get too comfortable with it.

If you assume that you should let the ladies do all the work, you may miss out on some great catches. There are plenty of wonderful women out there who might be a little shy, a tad old fashioned, or just prefer to feel sought after. Even if you’re a lady magnet, you should take a chance now and again and ask out a girl you’re into.

On the flip side, even if you’re an old fashioned guy and prefer to do the asking, don’t shy away from a woman who’s bold enough to ask you out. In the current dating scene, a woman can make the first move without being a generally pushy person.

Be True To Yourself

Finally, whether you’re a boy or a girl, remain true to your own style. If you really don’t feel comfortable asking someone out, then don’t. That just means that you need to be pursued by someone to be happy, so you probably won’t enjoy dating a person whom you had to make the first move with anyway. Odds are good they’ll keep expecting you to take the lead throughout the relationship, which is probably not your thing.

More importantly, so much of the early dating process is about being in the moment. Trust your gut! If you feel like doing the asking, go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that the guy or gal you ask will say no. That just means it probably wasn’t meant to be to begin with. The truth is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to approaching a potential date.

If you can get a feel for the person you’re interested in and go with what’s comfortable for you, you’ll make the right decision every time.

Q&A: How To Deal With Rumors

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 14:00:00 +0000

When dating, there is bound to be gossip between mutual friends, especially if you’re younger and in high school and college. While gossip initially doesn’t seem like a big deal, it can definitely get on your nerves and impact your friendships and relationships if there is gossip amongst your friends or family that isn’t true. Here’s how to nip it in the bud, before it gets out of control.

I have a question about dealing with rumors: I met a girl through mutual friends and we instantly hit it off. We’ve been hanging out a lot and now our mutual friends are starting to thing her and I are secretly dating. The problem is, both of us ONLY want to be friends and now these rumors are starting to impact our friendship. We’ve confronted our friends, but they’re not buying it. Any suggestions?

–YouTube Viewer

People Love Good Gossip

People really enjoy a good rumor – to the point where some people may make them up just for their own entertainment. This usually causes drama, which most people enjoy watching – but of course, they don’t want to be involved. Consider the possibility that someone started the gossip intentionally to create drama. Also consider the possibility that it was simply your friends misinterpreting what is really going on in the situation.

Even if someone didn’t start the gossip about you and your friend supposedly dating on purpose, it can still affect you deeply. It can affect your relationships with others, including keeping people who might want to date you from actually asking you out because they heard you were dating someone else. It can also impact the friendship you have with this special person. You may be tempted to end the friendship just to get others to stop thinking you’re dating.

How Rumors Get Spread

Gossip is easy to spread, but difficult to get rid of. If your friend tells you something and you repeat that to someone else, you’ve participated in gossip right there. Because what will happen, is you will get the story twisted just a little bit. Even if you didn’t mean to, you’re going to leave the person you told with a slightly different impression of what your friend actually told you. Once that person tells someone and they tell someone and so on and so on, the idea of what happened is not even close to what actually happened.

Did Your Friends Pick Up On Your Chemistry?

Your friends may have not intended to start gossip at all – in fact, they may have simply noticed that you and your special friend have great chemistry together. Maybe they saw you flirting with each other or just having a great time hanging out together and saw it for what it really was – two great friends with the possibility of something more. Just because you weren’t dating this person at the time the gossip got started, doesn’t mean that there isn’t something there between you two that could evolve into something more. Consider the possibility that your friends picked up on a connection between you two that you have been in the dark about.

Jealousy Can Fuel Gossip

Jealousy is a huge instigator of gossip. People who are feeling jealous may start hearsay just to get under your skin. Perhaps your friends or their friends are jealous because you both have been neglecting your individual friends to hang out together. Another possibility is that a particular friend started the rumor because they wanted to date you – and are upset that you’re spending so much time with this new friend than them. The same applies to your new friend – perhaps one of their friends wanted to date them and are jealous of how much time they’re spending with you.

Let Go Of The Hearsay

Hearsay is just that – hearsay. There’s no reason to hold on to the gossip, because it’s not doing you any good. In fact, it’s probably doing more harm to obsess over what is being said about you and your new friend than it would be to let it go. So just let it go. Learn to disregard what people way about you and your new friendship with this person and just live your live the way you want to. Do what makes you happy and let people say whatever they’re going to say. Remember the saying, “This too shall pass.” The rumors about you dating your new friend will go away eventually and you’ll be left with a great friendship afterwards.

Decide Not To Let It Affect You

The only way that gossip like that will affect you and your new friendship is if you let it. If you let what the other people are saying affect you, it could possibly destroy the relationship. Communicate with your friend and decide together that you’re not going to let the rumors affect what you have together. Also, if you believe your friends are the start of the gossip, have the confidence to let them know that you don’t appreciate them. Let them know the truth and ask them to stop spreading rumors about you. If you’ve asked them once, ask them again. If they’re really your friends, they’ll respect you and stop talking about you behind your back.

Do Women Show Their Cleavage On Purpose?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 17:20:12 +0000

When dating, do all ladies expose their breasts intentionally to get a man’s attention, or is it something that happens unintentionally? Do some girls do it deliberately while others do it by accident? Here’s the truth on why girls might expose their breasts deliberately, such as while dating, but also why it’s probably not intentional every time her breasts show.

Do you think girls frequently expose their breasts on purpose? How often do girls show it intentionally, or is it usually inadvertently?

–YouTube Viewer

It Depends On A Woman’s Mood

Whether a woman shows her breasts or not depends entirely on what mood she’s in. In fact, pretty much everything a woman does depends on what mood she’s in! Perhaps she’s dating around and feeling like flirting a little – she is probably going to be more inclined to show her breasts off in a low cut shirt. If she is not feeling as sexy, she will probably wear a shirt that doesn’t show as much.

However, if a woman’s breasts are showing, don’t assume that it is because she wanted it to. It could possibly be unintentional as well. She may not have given it any thought at all – certainly not as much thought as many men do. Most ladies are very much into fashion and style – that’s a no brainer. So a woman might wear a shirt that is low cut and shows the tops of a her breasts simply because she likes the shirt, or it might go really well with an outfit or a favorite piece of jewelry.

Men Want To See Breasts

Girls know from experience in the dating field that men respond very well to short shorts and a little boob action. If a woman is trying to get a date, she might wear a lower cut shirt in the hopes that a guy will notice her and come up and introduce himself to her and possibly ask her out. There’s a reason that Victoria’s Secret push up bras are so popular! Chances are, if men responded as well to a long sleeve turtleneck as they did a deep v-neck top, turtlenecks would be the new “in fashion” item!

The same goes for lingerie. Lingerie wasn’t designed because ladies enjoy walking around in garter belts and crotchless panties. It’s almost never something a woman gets for herself if she doesn’t have a man who will get to see it on her. It was designed with men in mind. Men love to see girls’ bodies and lingerie was created to accent and show off certain parts of girls’ bodies that guys find attractive!

It Might Just Be Hot Out

Another reason a woman might be showing her breasts accidentally is if she’s wearing a low cut shirt or tank top because it’s hot out. Just like men take their shirts completely off or wear a tank top or thin shirt sometimes if it’s very warm out, a woman might wear a shirt that has a little less to it for comfort reasons or because she wants to get a little sun.

Also, ladies that have very large breasts get warmer up there more quickly than ladies with smaller breasts. It can get a little damp and sweaty up there if a woman has larger breasts, which can be extremely uncomfortable and even cause rashes or chafing. So it makes sense that wearing a low cut shirt would help keep a woman more cool and comfortable during the warmer months.

Are There Girls That Use Their Breasts To Entice And Manipulate Men?

There are girls out there that will use their bodies to their advantage to attract men and make them start thinking about sex from the get go. Whether they’re wearing itty bitty shorts, a low cut shirt, a backless dress or a miniskirt, they’re doing it because they know it will grab a lot of men’s attention and that’s what they’re after. But that doesn’t mean that all girls who expose their breasts are doing it for this particular reason.

While there are a portion of ladies that do expose their breasts intentionally to manipulate men, this number is far lower than the number of men who notice! Men think about it much more than girls do, so chances are, if you’re noticing a woman’s breasts in a low cut shirt, she probably didn’t do it deliberately. She probably has another reason for letting the girls out – like comfort or fashion.

Achieve Your Goal Of Being Good With Women In 5 Easy Steps

Vin DiCarlo — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 23:00:38 +0000

Dating isn’t easy, and being good with ladies is even more difficult. Many guys are too shy to consider themselves suave when it comes to dating, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t work the ladies. If you’re a guy who has a tough time approaching or talking to girls, you’re definitely not alone. Not to worry – here’s how you can your dating ambitions – today!

A Serious Plan Of Action

If you are not using objectives to attain what you desire in life (such as being great at dating), you are probably seeing very little success. People seem to think that fixing a problem is the way to bring success into their life. It is like people have tunnel vision just to find the things that are holding them back, or even more so, identifying problems as the things that are holding you back.

Here is the fact of the matter, no one is plagued with the tragedy that is perfection. In fact if someone was perfect, they would be terrible with girls simply because they would not be able to relate to anyone they meet, especially when they meet women. Being able to relate is a huge factor in attracting girls so by trying to solve all your problems, you are making your ability to be good with ladies even harder.

The true way to succeed in dating through actions while learning to work with your problems. I don’t even want to go as far to call our flaws “problems” because they ultimately work in your favor if you are taking action and moving forward with your life. And that is what this article aims for you to do.

Step 1: Identify The Ultimate Objective

If you are reading this, I know why you are here, your ambition is to be successful with women, have options in your life when it comes to choosing girls you want to be with and developing the social skills to start dating successfully. All this falls under “Being Great with Girls” and that is your Ultimate Goal. What you define as being great with ladies will be determined in the next step.

Step 2: Create Objectives That Will Make You Better At Dating

As I’m sure you have heard being good with ladies is both an external and internal pathway of development. Your actions and thoughts must be aligned in the right way to attract the girls you want and your dating objectives should reflect this. Create 5 for your inner self-improvement, and 5 for your outer self.

What I mean is there are ambitions that will directly affect your inner thoughts/mindsets/beliefs and there are ones that will affect your appearance and social skills. Here are some examples but all the ambitions you write should be reflective of what you ultimately want to accomplish, being good with ladies.

Example:

Inner Objectives:

1. Rid myself of the fear to talk to an attractive girls I don’t know.

2. Identify and embraces my passion

3. Become more confident in my self-image

Outer Objectives

1. Be able to bring girls home the night I meet them

2. Not have conversations die when I am talking to ladies

3. Develop a better fashion sense.

You should ultimately create 10 dating objectives for yourself, if you are having trouble thinking of some I have provided a few ideas above but this is your own journey of self discovery and it is important some of them are that of your own.

Step 3: Prioritizing

It is important to reflect and find what ambitions are the most important to you in accomplishing – such as dating – while at the same time creating order to which ones you need to stay on top of. The great thing about this type of training is that if you constantly keep them in mind (I recommend printing a sheet of them and carrying it with you) you will see opportunities for you to take action and attain them.

Step 4: Create A Plan Of Action

I want you to sit down and reflect on each dating objective. Under each, list actual things you can start doing to make these things happen. You are essentially taking your aspirations and breaking them into the things you need to start doing to make them start manifesting. You are creating a plan of action and this is the most important step. This type of training works on success, finding things you can do to bring yourself to the next step.

Your focus will begin to shift away from your problems as you constantly find ways to continue to move forward in your life. As you accomplish each objective, you notice the next one becoming easier and easier because all these aspirations are reflective of each other. This is one of the few things where things get easier every step of the way. The hardest part is only in the beginning and by having a plan of action; the first step is not even that hard. Also the objectives you prioritized the highest should have the most plans of action because it is the area that needs the most work.

Remember a plan of action for each of your aspirations is something that you can physically do to bring yourself to the next level. Each plan for action should push you a bit further. Even if it seems impossible at the time, the impossible becomes possible if you keep working at it.

Example:

Inner Objective:

1. Rid myself of my fear to talk to women I don’t know

Plan of Action:

a. Start small talk with 10 strangers in a day while out and about

b. Start small talk with 5 girls you find attractive while out and about

c. Approach 3 girls you are attracted to by stating your attraction for them. “I think you are really cute”

d. Approach 5 girls in a row and have each one lead to a solid conversation.

Inner Objective:

2. Become more confident in myself image

Plan Of Action:

a. Loose 10 pounds

b. Put on 5 pounds in muscle mass

c. Find a hairdresser that will cut and style my hair. (No more barbers! Find a hot hairdresser that cares about you looking good)

d. Have a girl compliment me on my looks while out and about

Outer Objective:

1. Be able to bring girls home the night I meet them

Plan Of Action:

a. Find and become a regular at a place near my house to take girls on dates

b. Think of non sex reasons for girls to come over

c. Get a car

d. Find social venues near by your place to meet girls.

Outer Objective:

2. Not have conversations die when I am talking to girls

Plan Of Action:

a. Hold a conversation for 3 minutes with a girl

b. Hold a conversation for 10 minutes with a girl

c. Hold a conversation with a large group of ladies for 10 minutes

d. Go an entire conversation without asking about mundane things like names, jobs, and college majors

Outer Objective:

3. Develop a better fashion sense.

Plan Of Action:

a. Subscribe to a magazine like GQ

b. Set a day aside to spend a decent amount on a new wardrobe

c. Cultivate a female friendship where she can help you find what looks good on you

d. Make sure you get a new wardrobe at least every season as they come along

Step 5: TAKE ACTION!

This step is by far the most important. Now that you have a plan to take action go and do so. Organize your list and create an action plan for each and every one. The more plans of action you have the better. Now print out a list of them that you can carry on you and make an effort to accomplish at least one a week.

If you continue this exercise, I GUARENTEE you will be better with girls. It is the only time I can give a 100% not a single doubt in my mind guarantee that doing this will drastically improve your results with them. I honestly don’t know what other motivation besides that I can give you. Best of luck.

How To Use Eye Contact To Approach Women

Vin DiCarlo — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:00:49 +0000

Dating is most successful when you use body language to your advantage. Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of body language and it alone can attract a woman to you. Girls are actually CONSTANTLY trying to approach and talk to you. Now you might be saying that you have never had a girl come up and talk to you out of the blue, however by no means does this mean that she did not approach you. Girls just view approaching a stranger very different than men do.

Women Definitely Want To Be Approached

When they’re dating (not in a relationship), girls are constantly giving signs for people to come up and talk to them. Sometimes it is a blatant sign directed towards one guy, or it can just be the way she is carrying herself to hope that any guy comes up to spark a conversation. For the most part, I feel 80% of men miss out on these signs or misread them.

Just accept by rule of thumb that a girl will not go out of her way and directly spark a conversation up with you, however she will throw up all kinds of signs for you to come over and talk to her. As someone that is naturally good at dating women, it is your job to be able to read these signs and immediately act upon them.

Before we get into specific signs that girls give, I want to introduce you to the most powerful weapon in any naturals’ arsenal. It is by far the best tool we have for creating a fast and strong connection with the opposite sex. It is in effect before you even say your first words, all the way to the moment she is back in your bedroom. This tool is non-other than eye contact.

Using Your Eyes The Right Way

To master this dating tool you must know how to use your eyes in the right way. If you are like I used to be, you probably never really thought about the eye contact you were making. However, once I started incorporating it properly, I don’t know how I ever did without it.

I first noticed its power as I was walking through a mall. When you are walking in any busy area, there are constantly people you just happen to notice. Many people walk by without catching your eye, while others just seem to draw your attention. Sometimes it is just your mind creating awareness of the space around you, and other time it is something like a pretty girl walking by that catches your attention, either way your focus is always shifting from person to person.

It goes the same way with girls, as they are walking down the street they are constantly looking at people, sometimes you may see them walk right by you without them noticing you, and other times you will catch them make brief eye contact with you. This is your moment to go up to her and start flirting. If a girl walking by has made some form of eye contact with you, it is either her creating awareness of her surroundings, or there is something about you that caught her attention. Either way you have just entered her conscious awareness, making any approach you make with less likely to catch her off guard and will lead to a smoother interaction.

Being Aware Of The People Around You

Try to take note of all the people walking by that you make eye contact with, and then start to get into the habit of approaching these people, you will notice a much warmer response because just from her noticing you for a brief second, you have become less of a stranger in her mind. There is a slight level of familiarity that will help you get your foot in the door with every interaction.

There are more blatant signs that girls give in a variety of situations that are even more powerful than just the passing glance. If you go out to a bar, club, or any place of social nature, you are bound to run into three types of girls giving off very unique signs for you to talk to them. Learn to recognize these types of girls and always approach them.

Signs She Wants To Talk To You

The Gazing Girl

This is the most common sign/type of girl you will see. It is similar to the passing glance we were talking about but is a little more direct. Say you are sitting with your friends at one end of the bar and you notice a girl at another end look over at you and your friends. She is not going to do anything overly seductive; she is just going to make a brief second of eye contact with you then break it.

Now girls already think this a big sign for a guy to approach them but they do not realize how subtle and easy to dismiss it is. So they will follow up once more with a look over. If you have not already gotten and up and are on your way to approach, then consider this second glance a flashing neon light saying GO TALK TO HER. Girls think this sign is obvious and get frustrated that guys miss it. She will not keep going out of her way to make eye contact with you. In almost all cases she will only make it twice (if that) then move on.

The Wandering Girl

Another form of body language girls will use to show they want to be approached is by creating proximity to you. They will either leave to go the bathroom or get a drink, and in turn walk past you, or they will choose to form their group somewhere within a 15 to 20 foot proximity of yourself.

Consider all girls within 20 feet of you as a girl that wants to be approached by you. The closer she is, the more she wants to be approached. If she is this close to you, she is aware of your existence in one form of another so even if she was not intentionally making herself closer to you, she is comfortable with you being in her near proximity. This in turn will result in a more successful and warmer response to any approach you make.

The Dancing Girl

This girl is easy to spot, she will be hanging out with her group of friends, not really paying attention and simply dancing or bobbing her head to the song that is being played. Simply go up and approach and before the conversation can really even spark say how you like this song and tell her to “come dance.” Very assertive and easy.

After the song is over you can suggest walking off the dance floor and talking to her. Chat her up and ask her out on a date. Also look for this sign when you are talking up any girl at a bar or club, if you are having a good conversation and she starts to seem into the song, it is her sign that she wants to dance with you and is often a great way to begin any form of escalation towards sex.

The key to this dating advice is being more aware of your surroundings and to pay attention to the people looking at you/near you. You will begin to notice countless opportunities for you to approach and they all start with a simple subtle glance. Don’t miss them!

Final note on eye contact: When conversing with a girl, make an effort to hold eye contact just a few seconds longer than you normally would. Girls naturally hold eye contact about two seconds longer than guys feel comfortable doing so and if you have eye contact and your focus in the right place, the girl will start to feel an immediate strong bond with you.

It is also a great tool for creating sexual tension and sometimes eye contact can fill any void in conversation. If the girl likes you, she will make an effort to hold eye contact with you, allow her to and be comfortable with it.

How To Stay Focused When Talking To Women

Vin DiCarlo — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 23:00:06 +0000

Even the best dating advice sometimes leaves out how important awareness is when you’re talking to women. If you’re not concentrating in the right place, your conversations with women will go nowhere. Every guy is afraid of clamming up when he’s talking to a woman, and that only happens when a man loses his concentration during a conversation.

In order to have massively successful interactions with women, your focus must be in the right place.

Dominance Is A Factor

Dominance is one of the key factors in attracting women and dominance consists of the alignment between your inner thoughts and actions. However you may be wondering how one gets to the point where their external actions are matching their internal thoughts. The way to do this is easy, and simply consists of making a slight shift in thinking when you are talking to a woman.

Many guys have the problem of running out of things to say when talking to a girl (or using pick up lines), this is because they are simply focusing on their next actions without having their mind in the right place. You need to ask yourself this same question in regards to your interactions with women. This is quite possibly the most important dating advice you’ll ever get – where we focus our attention is simply a habit and to be good with women, you need to break and establish the right habits.

If I were to simplify every interaction to its purest form it would consist of the moments you are interacting with the woman, followed by the moments she spends interacting with you and your response to that. Each person generally switches off talking; however what they are talking about is generally irrelevant. What matters is where your awareness is during the interaction.

What You Should Be Concentrating On

So lets start with where your concentration should be when you are talking and flirting with a woman:

If your concentration is on what she thinks of you while you are talking, you failed
If your concentration is on trying to say something that you think she will like, you failed
If your concentration is on the next step you can take to escalate to a relationship with her, you failed

However, if your focus is on being genuinely curious in finding more about this girl, you have started to think like someone that is naturally good with women.

Digging A Little Deeper

When talking to a woman, your focus should be coming from a place of “Expressive Curiosity,” meaning you understand what it is you are looking for in a girl, and you are genuinely interested in finding out if this girl meets the standards you have set for yourself. It is called “expressive” curiosity because when your focus comes from a place of genuine curiosity, your actions, touch, body language and facial features express that curiosity in a subtle but natural way that further captivates the woman.

Many people think just asking a series of qualifying questions is a form of expressive curiosity but this is bad dating advice and it is not always the case. Once again, it all depends on your focus. Many times, when people go about asking a girl about what their hobbies are, or what makes them interesting, it comes from a place of zero dominance because they are simply asking to keep conversation going or create the illusion of expressive curiosity.

You don’t even have to ask direct questions to find if the woman meets your standards. By being genuinely curious about the woman, you can find out all you need to know about her just by asking about her weekend. By knowing what you want, your curiosity will steer the conversation into qualifying her like a natural.

How To Show A Girl That You’re Genuinely Curious

Here is an example of great dating advice (In this example I am genuinely curious if I can go out on a date and have fun with this girl, making sure she is not a buzz kill):

Me: “What did you do this weekend?”

Her: “Me and my friends went to bar for my friends birthday.”

Me: “Oh really, what bar? I’ve been looking for a new place to go.” (Genuinely curious, seeing if this woman can offer some value to me)

Her: “It’s a place called Amsterdam Lounge, on Pleasant Street.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that, did you have fun?” (Notice my curiosity is on her, I am asking if SHE had fun. Not if the bar was fun)

Her: “Yeah we had a blast! We ended up getting free drinks on the house cause it was my friend’s birthday.” (At this point I can tell she is fun, however if you want, this is when it would be appropriate to ask a qualifying question because now it is coming from a place of genuine curiosity)

Me: “Sounds pretty crazy, so did you end up being the girl taking care of everyone, or was it the other way around?”

Her: “It was definitely the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!” (Although this may seem like a simple response, it is absolutely perfect, by being genuinely curious in the girl I’ve learned that she can party, likes to have a good time, and could even go on to assume she is the party starter if she kept up with the birthday woman in regards to having drinks that night).

So once you get into to the habit of putting your awareness into a place of expressive curiosity, there is one other habit you must instill to achieve perfect dominance. This habit fulfills where your mind is at during the response part of your interaction. In other words, this dating advice means you need to be concentrating on when she is talking, and when you are responding to what she says.

Forming The Right Responses

So where should your concentration be when listening and responding to a woman?

If she is talking and your concentration is on her looks (or having sex with her), you failed
If she is talking and your concentration is on what to say next, you failed
If she is talking or you are responding and your concentration is on what she is thinking of you, you failed.

However, if your awareness is on appreciating her for sharing something about herself, and being genuinely excited to be flirting with her, then you are truly thinking like someone that is naturally good with women.

When a woman responds to the questions you asked from a place of genuine curiosity, your response to her answers needs to come from a place of “Appreciation.” In other words, she has done or shown something about herself that you find attractive, you need to show your appreciation to show that this girl is actually getting your attention in a good way.

Do not feel like you have to force anything or be over the top with praise and compliments, you are simply showing your excitement over the fact that there is actually something interesting you find about this girl. This focus allows for you to start creating a real deep connection with the woman while also letting her learn about yourself.

To continue off the previous dating advice example, the last thing she said was:

Her: “It was defiantly the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!”

Me: “That’s what’s up! I could tell you know how to party.” *High Five* (Now this high five comes from me being genuinely excited that she is a fun woman. I am not doing it as an excuse to touch her, it is simply my actions lining up with my mode of thinking) “I’m the same way, you can’t let your buddy be the only hammered person at a party, sometimes you just got to show that support and keep up with them. It’s common courtesy.” (Now I have used that same appreciation focus to let her know that I like that quality because I am similar)

Her: I couldn’t agree more! (She has now complied to the fact that we are similar. Just because of my approach, our seemingly meaningless conversation has created a strong connection)

To summarize, this dating advice is crucial to your success! When you are talking to a woman, you need to come from a place of genuine, expressive curiosity, and when listening to her, you need to appreciate what she is saying. This will skyrocket your results when dating women.

Dating Tips: How To Keep A Group Date From Becoming A Total Disaster

Andrew Wang — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 23:00:54 +0000

While dating is typically only about you and your significant other, there are times when you’ll end up heading out with other couples. Group dates can be highly enjoyable, especially when you’re with a group of mutual friends and have fun plans. They can also go horribly awry—the more people involved, the higher the chance that someone’s not having a good time. Before you and your S.O. accept an invitation to a group date, make sure to think over a few important points.

Who To Invite

First and foremost, you need to consider who all is going to be heading out together on the date. How well do you know everyone? Is there a person whom you or your partner find particularly difficult to spend time with? If you learn that someone you really don’t enjoy being around will be there, you may want to skip this particular group date. If you don’t know one or two of the people who are coming along, you should try to find out more about them from your other friends.

It’s best to go into a group date situation knowing at least a little about everyone involved. It will make conversations easier and rule out the element of the unknown. It’s important to avoid group dates with another couple that’s volatile—you don’t want someone else’s fighting to cause drama in your own relationship. Plus, even if their fighting doesn’t spread to you, they’ll make your whole date a downer. It’s also important to consider how many couples should go out together on the date.

The more people you add to the mix, the higher the odds of someone having a bad time and bringing the rest of the group down. You may have a lot more fun having dinner with one other couple that you both like than two or three other couples you don’t know very well.

What To Do

Once you know that you’ve got a fun group lined up to hang out, you’ll need to consider what kind of activity works well for a group date. Sporty activities like bowling, a game of softball, or a round of mini golf can be fun with a group. However, if one or two of your friends is hyper-competitive, or you know a few people really don’t like sports, it’s worth planning something else.

It’s key to make sure that you find something everyone will enjoy, otherwise you might find one or two people in the group are moping around. If not everyone in the group already knows each other, you might want to do something that will provide you with a talking point. Go to a movie or show and then have drinks afterward, that way you’ll all have something to discuss. That also lets everyone relax for the first part of the night, since you can’t really talk during a film or performance.

Group dates can also be a good way for you to introduce your significant other to your friends, or vice versa. If everyone’s having a great time, your friends will probably appreciate your new boyfriend or girlfriend even more. That’s part of why it’s important to pick out an activity that will be fun for everyone involved.

Why Group Dates Can Be Fun

While you should still spend most of your dating time one-on-one with your significant other, having a group date every now and again is a great idea. It helps you connect with your friends and your boyfriend or girlfriend at the same time, and it adds some variety to your dating plans. It can be a really good way to get out of a rut. Even if a group date goes horribly wrong, you might still get something good out of it. Sometimes just seeing another couple have a meltdown can make you realize just how good you’ve got it in your own relationship!

How To Meet Women

Vin DiCarlo — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 23:00:35 +0000

When it comes to dating, if you are not approaching and striking up conversations with women during the day, you are missing out!

Many people think that in order to meet a woman, you need to go to a bar or club. This is simply not the case when it comes to meeting and dating quality women. There is a hesitation many people face when it comes to talking to an attractive girl during day-to-day activities. If you feel this way, you are really limiting yourself to the women you could meet in your life.

Meeting a women in the day time is an interesting concept because it takes the element of “pick up,” that one generally associates with a bar or club, and applies it to stores and street venues. What is partiality intriguing though, is if you asked any girl how they envision meeting their dream guy, it never seems to take place in a nighttime venue. Girls will always go on describe a random occurrence at a coffee shop or mall, where the man of their dream just falls into their life and a connection is made.

The Hollywood Effect

Thanks to the picture that books, movies, and television has created, women have the fantasy that they will meet a man for them while going about their day-to-day activities. This perhaps explains why a woman will always put more work into her appearance before going out on a series of errands. If a woman expects to be out and about for than more than an hour, then you can bet they dress to impress (or at least shower and apply make up, unlike what can be said about some of our male counterparts).

It can easily be assumed that women want to be approached during the daytime thanks to the fantasies that they have imagined. This is why it is not uncommon to see a girl doing schoolwork by herself at a Starbucks, or hanging around longer than needed in a Café. She probably did not need to leave her apartment to get work done, yet she got herself put together to be presentable during the day time before going out.

If a women puts all that effort into their presentation before going out, it seems safe to assume that they are indeed meeting men they are interested in during the daytime. Or at least for mindset purposes, assume this is true and your actions will reflect it. Yet it still seems that women flock to bars and clubs as a means of meeting men, now why do you think that is?

Approaching Women During The Day

Let me ask you a question, how many times a day do you think a beautiful women gets approached by a man that attempt to spark a conversation with her?

3 times?

5 times?

Or even a better question, how many times a week do you think she gets approached?

5 times?

10 times?

After interviewing some of the most beautiful women I have met in cities like New York City and Miami as well as asking my close attractive female friends that go out on a day to day basis (for example they always does their school work at Starbucks) I found that they all gave me the same number when it came to approaches from men during the daytime.

Each of these women are NEVER approached by men during the day time! It’s that simple. When I asked if there was ever a time a guy came up and tried to start a conversation with them they all drew a blank. Sure they would get the occasional once over from guys walking by, or maybe a rude sex remark yelled from a distance. But when it came to them doing their day-to-day activities, not so much as a simple “Hey, what’s up?” has ever been extended their way.

Taking The “Daytime” Dating Approach

We have to face the fact men are simply not approaching women during the daytime, yet women prepare themselves for the off chance that it may happen. It is even fair to say that women are more ready and susceptible to a man’s approach than they are at a bar or club. All their guards are down and there is that subtle fantasy that one day a man will genuinely spark a conversation with her and they will have a real connection.

So if you are not already approaching and chatting up women during your day to day activities, just think that myself, and all the single ladies in the world are encouraging you to take advantage of this untapped resource when it comes to meeting and dating women.

How To Be Naturally Good With Women

Vin DiCarlo — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 23:00:30 +0000

The best dating advice for being good with ladies is actually quite simple, contrary to popular belief. There are simple changes in your thinking that you can make to become one of those guys that is just good with girls.

Ever notice how some people are just always getting with attractive girls? Sometimes they are not even attractive men, but seem to leave the club with the hottest girl there. This has nothing to do with tricks or techniques when meeting women, but comes from the proper mindsets that they have developed.

Having The Proper Mindset

Someone that is naturally good with women does not have a set of pick up lines that they use and generally have no scripted game plan of any sorts when it comes to meeting women, yet it is their beliefs and mindsets that guide their actions in a naturally attractive way. The alignment of ones actions and mindset are what makes up dominance and is the first step to bringing out your inherited natural.

Before you can be in tune with others, you must be in tune with yourself. Now, I do not mean that is some preachy confidence developing way, I mean it as in order to bring women into your life; you need to know what you want from them.

This kind of guy knows what kind of girl he is attracted to. There can be many things that can draw your attraction to a girl, whether it is natural good looks, style, demeanor, personality, or a combination of them all, a guy that is good with women has his preference and you should too.

Avoid “Rating” Women

Another great piece of dating advice is to avoid “rating” women. A man that is awesome with girls does not rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 – this kind of scale is made up by people that do not have the ability to be good with ladies and it becomes a tool to create excuses about why they did not talk to a particular girl.

A man that IS great with girls only has two numbers, a “One” and a “Zero.” One meaning, you would “do” her, and zero meaning you wouldn’t. Now you need to understand, wanting to “do” a girl is not an objectification and should not be viewed as one. It comes from our inherited desire to want to reproduce, and denying that urge is the most “unnatural” thing you can do. The difference lies in how a smooth guy views having sex with a girl and is what makes them successful over the average sleaze ball in a club.

Being A Dominant, Confident Man

Wanting to have sex with a girl comes from a place of DOMINANCE when your desire for sex comes from something about her that triggers that urge. For example, I am very into music production and if I met a girl that displayed a unique or solid understanding of music, my sexual attraction to her would be ignited because of something about her that I find particularly sexy.

My sexual attraction does not come from a place of simply just wanting to have sex with her to have another notch in the belt. That difference in thinking is what makes a natural stand out and allows for sexual attraction to be reciprocated by the girl.

You may see many guys that have no shame in talking to every girl that walks by, however their dating success rate is low because they have not set standards for themselves. They are simply willing to settle on whatever is willing to settle with them. This behavior is very unattractive to any girl and only attracts girls with low self-esteem and other problematic issues.

More often than not, it just leads to a two-minute conversation followed by a harsh blow out. A girl shutting down a guy like this is no surprise though. How can a girl be expected to respect a guy that no standards or idea what he wants? It is essentially like he has no respect for himself. Very unattractive.

Understanding Your Desire For A Woman

The key to understanding this is by going out and taking note of what is it about certain women that draw your attention. To you, what makes some girls stand out over the others, start to find what it is that these women share in common to help you better understand your own desire.

That way, next time you see a girl that gets your attention, your desire for her is understood and gives you all the reason in the world to talk to her. Once you begin to understand the only reason you need to talk to a girl is because of your attraction to her, your approach and actions will come from a place of genuine dominance.

How To Approach Women – Doing It Naturally

Vin DiCarlo — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 23:00:59 +0000

When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

If you are feeling nervous about talking to a girl, your focus is already out of line because your focus is on trying to gain her approval. If I ever feel slightly nervous when talking to a girl, I know it is because my focus is on the outcome, and I am pre-thinking about what she may think of me. It is at this time I remind myself “Every girl is special, and I want to show this girl what makes her special.” This re-aligns my focus and any nervousness I had goes away.

How To Really Approach Girls

Now, there are many beliefs on the proper way to approach girls when dating, whether it is going direct from the start, hiding your intentions through some pick up line, or talking about your surroundings, none of these are actually the natural way to approach ladies.

Any pretty girls you see has been chatted up by guys with bad game and have also been hit on by guys with the natural ability to talk to girls. If a girl can tell someone has that natural ability, they will open up from the start and that is why it is important to open like a true natural does. The key is opening in a way that shows you believe you have the right to be social.

Step 1: Look for eye contact, if you make eye contact with ANY girl. Time to get up and go over to her.

Step 2: While walking over, do not stare her down, but keep some form of eye contact with her while holding a slight smile. This will allow her to feel non threatened and also will make her aware of your approach. She will already begin to set in her mind that you are going to talk to her, making the whole approach less “random.

Step 3: Say “Hi.” (Now stop! Don’t keep trying to chat up. You have the right to be social, allow for her to see this and allow her to come into the conversation. Just simply say “hi” to the girl with a friendly smile. She will say “hi” back. Her attention is now on you. Many guys jump right in by stating their intentions like “Hi, I thought you were cute and I wanted to introduce myself.” However, this often creates a block in the conversation cause she only knows how to respond by saying “thanks.”

Step 4: Say “How’s it going?” (Now stop again. Your genuine curiosity here will help take over and you will be surprised of the detailed responses you can get from this simple question right off the bat. But you have to genuinely want to know how she is doing, your attitude should be like you are interested in meeting her, but am still feeling out if you want to talk to her.

Don’t be afraid to allow any silence to encourage her to talk a little more. This is how a natural talks; they are completely comfortable saying “Hey, how’s it going” to a stranger without it being weird for them. Girls immediately pick up on this as someone that is attractive and confident around girls.

Also it is very common that if the girl glanced over at you, she actually has something she has been thinking about or wanted to ask you. Often times the girl will actually spark any initial conversation after you say “Hi” just because you have taken the pressure away from the first meet.

Step 5: If conversation has not sparked immediately this is when you can insert your reasoning for going over and talking to her. I don’t really care what kind of opener you use, but using the system I just described above will make any opener you go with much smother and more successful. Personally I do not like to my waste time by chatting about nothing so I will follow up with “I know me coming over seems random, but honestly I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. My name is ___” Then I put my hand out for a handshake. If she shakes my hand and introduces herself, then I know I am in; she has complied with my conversation and also has a general interest in me.

This will make the rest of the interaction go much smoother. If she brushes it off by saying she is dating someone already or something, that is cool too because now I am not wasting my time chatting her up for 20 minutes then going for an awkward number close. I could have met three other great girls that were into me within that time. Naturals are very good at time management.

Also if she brushes off my response to saying she is cute, it is still no big deal. I have never gotten a negative response from that because no one ever approaches girls that way. Either way, you have made their day and they will feel good cause you extended a genuine compliment their way.

That is something you should have fun with and also further help rid any dating anxiety. If you genuinely think a girl is cute or there is something about her that catches your attention, and you tell her what that is, she will never give you a harsh or negative response because you have made her feel good. There is absolutely nothing to be anxious about if you are thinking, seeing, and approaching like a natural.

Friend Zone Damage Control

Vin DiCarlo — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:00:14 +0000

When dating, beware of the “Friend Zone” – we have all been in it, and it sucks. Despite all the glorious positions you can be in with a women, there is one that no man wants to be in. When placed in it by a woman, you lose all romantic interest in her eyes. You become a sexual non-entity with the arousing powers of her own brother, or a lampshade. Once you’re there, she’s not going to be interested in dating you.

As you gain more experience with women, you will find yourself in the friend zone less and less and will learn many ways to preemptively stop yourself from winding up in it. However, that is not what I am going to get into with this article. Instead I am going to share some ways that you can remove yourself once being placed in it.

Be Willing To Lose The Friendship

The first step to getting out of the friend zone is that you have to be willing to lose her completely. One thing I have learned in my years managing relationships with women is that two people who are platonic don’t sleep with each other. You will not be able to go after her if you are afraid to lose her, doing so will only plant you deeper in it. So what’s the most important step?

Make Yourself Less Available

One of the main reasons you probably got placed in the friend zone in the first place (instead of dating her) is because you made yourself overly available. You constantly made plans to hang out with her without making a move. The longer you hang out with a girl without hooking up, the higher the chance you will be placed in it. So what do you do? Get away from her. Distance yourself and for a little bit stop making an effort to hang out with her. If she is a real “friend” she should be making an effort to hang out with you. You’re soon going to realize that she probably won’t be setting up a time to hang out anytime soon.

As time goes by she will become in touch with you. If not, you can slowly re-engage but this time with a different approach. For example, do not be her therapist. Do not give her advice for how to deal with her problems. If you need listen, only do so mockingly. You are no longer a shoulder to cry on and have no need to feel sorry for her problems. She is a big girl, she will figure it out.

Keep Your Options Open

In the mean time you should be talking to or dating other girls. Not to make her jealous, but to create other opportunity for yourself. Only once you have emotionally removed yourself from the girl you are in the friend zone with, will she start chasing you. Also, this is a great time to work on staying out of it with new girls.

Time is beneficial to you here and use it to your advantage. I’m talking about going months without being in touch. It may seem harsh but if you want her that bad, this is what it takes.

After making yourself scarce to her you have opened up a window to change the frame of the relationship. Start sending her mixed signals by escalating touch and showing interest in dating her. Do not be afraid to start flirting with her. You have not talked to her for a while, you want to come back seeming like a different, more sexual person.

Change Your Goals

You want to be coming from the mindset that you want her, but it does not matter if you get her. Remember, you can’t be afraid to lose her. In fact if you are doing any of this to just try and “get her,” it is not going to work. Stop trying to get her. It may take a few months to get out of the mindset where you are trying to be the guy for her, but only then will you be able to start dating her. And at that point it is up to you to decide if you really want her.

If you honestly have a strong friendship with a girl and you really don’t want to ruin it with dating, then you need to accept you will never hook up with her. But you need to ask yourself, is your spending time with her just another hope for you to hook up out of some miracle, or is for your own enjoyment. Remember, people who are platonic don’t sleep together. But if they do, they can become friends that have sex.

How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Going All The Way?

Andrew Wang — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 19:05:40 +0000

When you have sex with someone for the first time, it can be a wonderful new experience. It can also be a bit of a disaster, especially if you rush into things without thinking. Sometimes it can be hard to decide when the timing is right to become physically intimate.

In addition to the pressure you feel from within yourself, you may also be feeling pressure from your new love interest, along with the pressures of societal norms. So how can you tell when to make that next move? A little introspection, a discussion or two with your partner, and the ability to go with your gut can all help.

When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

There is a lot of conventional wisdom out there about when to have sex. Some people think you should hold off until marriage, and others think you should just hold off until the third date. Tempting as it can be to take an established rule as your own, the truth is that you’ll only really be happy if you go for it when you feel that you’re ready.

That means that you need to do some serious thinking. Review your past sexual experiences. Do you feel that you’ve jumped into having sex too quickly before, to the detriment of your past relationships? Or has your experience shown you that there’s no need to put things off? Of course, if you have no past experience because this is your first time ever, you’ll have to turn to other methods of determining your readiness.

Deciding What Is Right For YOU

Whether you’re experienced or not, you’re going to want to further check in with yourself. As far as introspection goes, you should do a little pros and cons analysis. What are all of the good things that you’ll get from sleeping together at this particular point in time, and what are the possible negative consequences? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you should probably hold off a bit longer.

You also need to acknowledge that, once you’ve finally had sex, it may not be as spectacular as you’d hoped it would be. If it goes poorly, that could be the end of things. If you’re not ready to run that risk, you may not be ready for sex with this person, either. Some people are into casual sex, and others feel they need to be in love before they can engage in it.

It’s important for you to truthfully acknowledge which side of the line you fall on. Trying to go against your true feelings is a mistake, particularly if you’re someone that needs to be in love. You may feel regret after the fact, which will sully the experience for you.

How Does Your Partner Feel About When To Have Sex?

Once you’ve established how you feel about it and decide that you’re ready, you need to have that conversation with your S.O. Tell them you’re hoping to take things to the next level, but want to know how they feel about it. Plus, as non-romantic as it may be, you should discuss birth control and STD prevention with them.

If one of you isn’t prepared to take the appropriate measures, that person also isn’t ready to be having sex. Once the two of you are on common ground, let things happen as they may. When the mood is right, you’ll both know it. Don’t let yourself worry about what anyone other than you and your partner think, whether you sleep together on your first date or your wedding night. Clear up all of your worries in advance, and you’ll have that much more energy to focus on enjoying your first time.

5 Dating Mistakes That Men Make With Women

Michael Webb — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 23:00:09 +0000

Dating problems are easy to create, but great girls are hard to find. So when you do find one, don’t ruin your chances by making deadly mistakes. Remember, attractive ladies are used to dating a lot of guys, so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong. Here are 5 things that many guys do that blow their chances with their girlfriend, and how to avoid them.

Sharing Your Feelings With Her Too Early

When you announce that you love her, you lose the mystery, the magic and the chase. Remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual. Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you either. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind remember that.

Trying To Push It Too Far Too Soon

It’s natural to wonder about your future together but remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. Just because you like a particular girl doesn’t mean you should rush things any faster than they should naturally progress. Think about your friends and how the natural progress of friendship happens. Rarely do you meet someone and feel eager to become best buddies over night. As a general rule: slower is better.

Being Too Available

You might think “saying you’re busy” is playing a mind game or being manipulative. Well let me tell you something: everything you do is manipulation. We always act a certain way to try and achieve a certain outcome. The best way to come across naturally is to ACTUALLY BE BUSY. Get involved in life and don’t make your new girlfriend the center of your attention. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the girl of your dreams and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery. Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for her, no matter how much you like her. And remember, ladies love a challenge and mystery, so this actually works in your favor.

Not Being Yourself And Seeking Approval

Girls love dating confident guys with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, guys often try to guess how the woman wants them to act and try to accommodate her mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. Be comfortable being you. Showing that you’re not scared to be yourself is very attractive and very refreshing for others.

Buying Gifts For Her

While buying gifts “looks” like a nice gesture, the underlying message is, “I want you to like me, so here’s this expensive thing.” Don’t do it. Gifts are for couples in long term relationships. Buying them too early can have the opposite effect to what you want.

How To Talk To Women

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 14:00:12 +0000

Dating and chatting with girls may seem easy for some men, but a lot of guys end up getting it wrong. You can have a seemingly good conversation with a woman that you like, but from her perspective, you were boring and did nothing but go on about yourself. This is actually a very common mistake that guys make, but it doesn’t mean that you have to keep making it. Here’s how you can have real conversations with ladies and stimulate them intellectually – which we all know is the key to getting past a woman’s defenses and showing her that you’re someone she wants to spend time with!

Don’t Talk To Her The Same Way You Would A Co-Worker

Many men make the simple yet devastating mistake of chatting with girls they’re interested in dating like they chat with their co-workers. When there’s nothing really to discuss, they fill the empty space with run of the mill conversation. For example, you may chat with your co-workers about the problems you’re having at work, the weather, what you’re going to have for lunch or any number of random but boring subjects.

You may think that this conversation fare is good for anyone – including girls you’d like to be dating – but the truth is, it’s not. Having conversations like this is actually one of the fastest ways to show a girl that you don’t have any brains and definitely wont make a girl like you! It doesn’t even make for a real conversation – in fact, most people at work drone on about boring subjects because they don’t really have anything else to go on about and they’re simply trying to fill the awkward silence with some kind of conversation.

Instead, chat with ladies you’re interested in about things that interest them, and offer insights, observations and opinions that make it a real conversation.

Chat In A Way That Assumes Familiarity

While you don’t want to chat with a girl you’re interested in like you would a co-worker, you also don’t want to chat with her like she’s a stranger either. The more you ask the same questions a stranger would ask her, the more you’re going to seem like an actual stranger to her. You definitely don’t want her to feel like she’s being interviewed for a job or playing a very boring round of twenty questions. Questions like this might be:

“What do you do for a living?”
“What do you do for fun?”
“Where do you live?”
“Where do you go to school at?”

Instead, make a point to ask any woman you’d like to be dating meaningful questions that actually make her think! You already know that the quickest way to make a woman fall in love with you is by stimulating her mind, so you want to make her feel like you’re interested in her personally and value her opinions and thoughts on different subjects. Questions like this might be:

“What would you do if….?”
“What is your opinion about….?”
“How does …. make you feel?”
“What is your favorite….?”

These types of questions actually get her thinking and stimulate her intellectually. They also show that you’re interested in her and the things that are important to her. These types of questions show her that you actually want to get to know who she is and what she’s all about rather than where she works or what kind of pets she has.

Don’t Filter Yourself

When dating, many guys make the mistake of trying too hard to give off the “right” impression or the impression that he thinks a woman wants. What happens is that they are so caught up in putting on the right kind of “show” that they actually forget to be themselves! Guys are so scared of saying the wrong thing and getting rejected that they end up holding back and don’t actually show a woman who they are and how much fun they can be.

Learning to be yourself and letting go of what you think you should be doing or saying when talking to women is a way to show strength and confidence, which is actually a huge turn on for a lot of gals. Chat with a woman as though she is a long time friend of yours and you’re not afraid of being judged by her. She’ll be so appreciative that you’re actually being yourself, unlike the hordes of other guys that put on the “show” for her. When you learn to have real conversations with girls, you’ll find that instead of looking for girls, the girls are looking for you!

7 Sketchy Places To Meet Your Next Girlfriend

Vin DiCarlo — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 23:00:23 +0000

When dating, finding new places to meet women is tough. Ever tell your friends how you met your last girlfriend? No? Neither have I. Not in too much detail, at least. Most of the time the story goes, “I met her at a bar” or “We were in the same class” or“W e work at the same office.”

But you should know, women OBSESS over these dating stories. They tell their girlfriends every little, tiny detail. And they share the story of the day you met with every single person they know. So, in this article, you’ll discover how to give her a damn INTERESTING story to tell.

PLUS – You’ll finally be able to tell YOUR friends a great dating story, with some funny details. (This story will easily get you tons of laughs)

“I Met Him While We Were Trapped 50 Feet Below Ground”

Creepy, right? Sounds like a love story straight from a horror movie. Truth is, this strange place to meet your next girlfriend was voted “The Most Romantic Place To Meet A Man” in a recent, 2010 survey done by a famous woman’s magazine.

And this place is…. the subway.

If you live in any major, metropolitan city, there are thousands of women waiting to meet and start dating you. And you see them every day, riding the subway. If you say the right things to her, it’s as if you walked straight out of her favorite romantic movie, and into her dreams.

Here are some tips:

Start with a compliment. This one works great: “I saw you and your energy seems so positive, I had to come talk to you.” (This works way better than complimenting her body or outfit)
Then ask an easy question: “Where are you headed?”
Finally, before you get off the train, tell her this: “I never meet anyone interesting on the subway. I’d love to get coffee with you, sometime.”
When she says yes, tell her you’ll call her, then get her phone number.

“I Met Him While We Were Surrounded By Dead Animals”

Another one of those horror dating stories, right? Wrong! Whether you’re a younger man who’s into cougars or you’re an older, career focused man who likes career focused women. This place is a perfect place for you to meet women.

And this is… The Grocery Store.

Specifically, the meat section. (Although the other sections will work, as well.) You shop for groceries. She shops for groceries. And between you and me, most of the time she looks sexy as hell doing it. You may as well TALK to the gorgeous women you meet at Whole Foods or Stop ‘n Shop, right? Especially if you’d like to be dating them!

Here’s how:

Walk up to her and give her a nice compliment, like before. Try: “Wow. You look like quite a cook.” (Works even better if you’re joking on her for buying microwave meals)
Start talking about things you like to cook. Move onto topics like activities you like to do. Just make small talk.
After a few minutes, tell her: “Hey, it was really great meeting you. Grocery shopping is usually such a chore. It was a pleasure to bump into you. I’d love to keep talking about X TOPIC sometime – do you drink coffee?”
If she says yes, get the number. If she says no, tell her you know this great tea place, then get the number.

It’s laid back. It’s full of romance. And it WORKS. Try it out, for yourself.

“I Met Him In The Middle Of A Pack Of Nerds And Geeks”

Before I started learning how to meet women, I spent most of my time obsessing over my job. (I worked in a physics lab, and had an B+ rating on ICCUP – a professional video game league) So you can believe me when I tell you: This super-nerdy place to meet women is a gold mine for women who are smart, intelligent, artistic and creative. It’s also an amazing place to meet cute, young college students.

How about… the library?

Surrounded by books, the library is super laid back and quiet. Women love the idea of dating someone seeing them for who they really are. And what’s more revealing than what she’s reading at the library? Nothing!

Try picking her up, like this:

Check out what she’s reading, and then ask her if she likes it.
If you’re in a quiet room, slip her a note. Ask her the same question above, but start it with one of the compliments we talked about, earlier. Try “You seem like you’ve got great taste in literature.”
That works even better if she’s reading something jokey – like a comic book or romance novel.
By now, you know the drill for getting her number. Make her feel special, then ask her if she likes coffee.

Chances are this woman is smart, educated and interesting in making something of herself. At the very least, she’s a reader. And if you’re a reader – you’re a good match.

“I Met Him 100 Feet Away From The Dungeons And Dragons Club”

Yet you’ll find all kinds of interesting women at this, particular place: From women who love to cook and clean, to women who are into economics and politics, even women obsessed with sexual improvement and tantra. Best of all, you can pick which “type” of woman you’d like to be dating as easily as walking just a few feet to your left or right.

Because it is…the bookstore.

And the book store has a whole different set of rules than the library. For one, you can talk, chat and mingle. For another, you can pick which type of woman you’d like to meet, based on what’s she’s reading or where she’s hanging out! Want a down to earth woman? Try the cooking sections. Want a sexually liberated woman? Try self-improvement.

In fact, here are three things to keep in mind, when meeting women at a book store:

Be respectful. She’s trying to read. So when you approach her, say “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…” and then go into your compliments from the library.
Don’t keep her too long. Have small, five minute conversations.
You can go on your first date, right then! Many book stores have coffee shops right in the lobby. So you can bring your new friend on a first date just a few minutes after you meet her. Ask her if she wants to grab coffee and keep talking. (And DON’T call it a first date!)

Once you’ve mastered the library and the book store, here are a few more “sketchy” places to meet your new girlfriend…

“I Met Him When He Woke Me Up From A Nap”

Sounds like you’re sitting in her bedroom, waiting for her to fall asleep, right? Wrong! Hell, you know this place like the back of your hand. (And I can GUARANTEE there’s one woman you’d like to meet here even if you’ve got a SUPER crush on some woman, right now)

What about the classroom….or your work?

Either or, it’s somewhere you spend most of your time. And the women there spend all day doing the same things, over and over, too. Not only will you know a bunch of the same people, you’ll also have at least ONE thing in common. (Which is a major turn on for most women!)

Here are the “rules” you need to know, before you start seriously dating a woman, at work (or school):

Keep it low key. Even when you’re out and out dating, keep your relationship in the down low. Let her tell people, when she’s ready. This way, you won’t screw things up, by accident.
Be subtle and gradual. This means you don’t ask her on a date, right away. Instead, invite her to grab a drink with you and a few of the guys. Then, at the end of the night, tell her you had fun talking to her and would like to grab lunch some day, while you’re working.
These small steps give you big returns because you’ll eventually get to a first date – even sex – without scaring her off along the way

“I Met Him While I Was Hot And Sweaty”

At this next place, you see athletic women where ever you look. Women wearing practically nothing, sunning themselves to get a tan. Women who are friendly, active and blessed with toned, tight, sexy bodies. That’s because you’re hanging out in…

A park!

It’s outdoors. It’s active. It’s fun for most people. And women you meet here are active, friendly and social. If you’re into working out or eating healthy, you’ll meet and possibly start dating) some amazing women here.

Take a second to break the ice and start flirting. Say, “I know this is kinda of awkward, but…” or “I know this is out of the blue, but…” and then follow it up with a compliment.
“I know this is out of the blue, but, I saw you running and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. What’s your name?”
And as always, chat for a few minutes, then suggest grabbing some coffee. (Feel free to make a joke about not wanting to go now, because they’ll kick her out for being too sweaty)

“I Met Him While I Was Wrist Deep In Another Man’s Dough”

Yup. You read that right. In this area, there’s a good chance she’ll be buried wrist deep in another man’s dough. She’ll also be highly creative, very nurturing and one hell of a cook. (Plus, she’ll smell like warm cupcakes on a summer afternoon)

This place is… a baking or cooking class.

Oh man! If you’ve ever wanted to be SURROUNDED by women who are ALL “eyeing” you like you’re the hottest man she’s ever seen – a baking class is the place to be! You usually get to be partners with a few women who take care of themselves, are looking to improve themselves and are usually very, very sensual.

(They like to make things, smell things, and touch things. Sex with a woman who takes baking or cooking lessons is almost guaranteed to be a good time!)

So how do you find a good class to start dating women? And how would you meet women once you’re there? Here are the tips:

Try a class with cupcakes or other baked goods. Cupcakes are very “in style” right now, and will be for a few years to come – so you’ll meet hotter, “trendier” women than you would at, say, a local lasagna class.
Make sure you’re ACTIVE in making the baked goods! Take charge, give people jobs, delegate. Be the man they look to for what to do next.
Bring a girl friend. This one is the easiest – and most important – of all: Bring a girl who’s also your friend. You do this so the women will know you’re straight and they’ll fight with the other girl to date you.
(Honestly? Your girl friend gives you – a straight man – a reason to be at a cupcake class. The real reason? The women are hot and cupcakes are yummy… There’s really no mystery here)

Go alone and you’re risking an uphill battle. Not to mention, the girl friend you bring will get highly attracted to you, as well.

How To Make A Girl Like You

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 14:00:10 +0000

There’s no dating formula that you can use to make a woman be interested in you. You certainly can’t force it, but does that mean you just have to go with the flow and let whatever happens happen? Not exactly. While there’s no tried and true way to make a woman want to hang out with you, you can use these great suggestions to help her realize what a fun, awesome and attractive guy you are! After you show her how great spending time with you can be, there’s no way she won’t think you’re awesome!

Don’t Force It

You can’t force someone to be attracted to you when you want to be dating them. It just doesn’t happen that way! Obligation, of course, is very unattractive. A woman will not be attracted to you if she feels obligated in any way towards you, whether it’s feeling obligated to be dating you, or to spend time with you or have sex with you. There’s a reason that they say “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” You’ve got to give someone the opportunity to want to spend time with you.

This is actually a huge reason that married couples and couples in long term relationships lose attraction between each other. They feel too much obligation to spend time together or have sex with each other, and they never give their partners the opportunity or chance to want it naturally, without forcing it.

Have Fun

The most important thing to remember when playing the dating game is to have fun. Dating is all about having fun and if you take it too seriously, you’re not going to get very far at all! When hanging out with a woman you really like, make fun your first priority. Make sure you have positive, fun experiences together. Talk to her and get to know her and what she thinks is funny, and tell great jokes that make her laugh. It also doesn’t hurt to be a little protective of her and of course, chivalrous.

Chivalry is not dead, contrary to popular belief! While women don’t necessarily “need” a strong, confident man to protect them, wanting a man like that is hardwired into a woman’s DNA. Even the most independent, self reliant woman will be instantly attracted to a man that looks and acts like a man who can take care of a woman. Even if she doesn’t actually want you to “take care” of anything, showing her that you’re the kind of man that will appeals to something deep inside her that she really never even knew was there!

Give her the emotions she deeply craves, but don’t be too predictable, otherwise she’ll take you for granted. Be a strong, confident man and watch as she gravitates towards you without thinking. This is a great way to get a girlfriend without making it look like you’re desperate or trying too hard.

Give Her Freedom

When dating, it’s important that you not be the “clingy” guy. Show her you’re not jealous, and that you value her freedom. Most women aren’t going to be interested in a guy that is clingy, asks her what she’s doing, when she’s doing it and who she’ll be with. Not valuing her freedom and her right to do what she wishes is the fastest way to end up alone! When you show her that you’re cool with her doing what she wants, you show her that you not only trust her, but that you’re secure enough in yourself that you’re not worried about what is going to happen next. This is an extremely attractive quality in a man!

If you encourage her to go have fun with her other friends, it will create an attractive energy towards you. She’ll be much more interested in you because you’re fun to be around and you’re confident enough that you’re not going to get jealous if she’s hanging out with other people. This will give her the time and opportunity to think about you while she’s away from you and allow her to want you, which is extremely important in any relationship.

If you smother her and put up a fight when she wants to go do things without you, not only are you creating an environment in which she has no room to miss you or want you, you’re also creating a hostile environment that will make her feel trapped and smothered. You’ve heard the saying, “let her go and if she comes back, she’s yours,” right? That definitely applies here!

Is It Okay To Date A Friend’s Ex?

Andrew Wang — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 23:00:04 +0000

When you’re dating and you fall for a friend’s ex-boyfriend girlfriend, trouble could be brewing. Some people believe that you should never date a friend’s past partner, but that’s not necessarily true. Yet there are certainly lots of factors to gauge before deciding to date a friend’s former flame.

So You Like Your Friend’s Ex – Now What?

If you’ve fallen for your friend’s past significant other, you need to consider a lot of things before moving forward. First and foremost, you need to be certain that your friend’s past lover is also interested in you. If you make a move to start dating them and they turn you down, you could still anger your friend. Then you come out a loser not one, but two fronts. Therefore, you really shouldn’t risk damaging your friendship unless you’re dealing with a sure thing.

How Did They Break Up?

Once you’re certain that the object of your affection shares your feelings, you need to consider your friend’s standpoint very carefully. How did his or her relationship end with said person? Did your friend do the dumping, or were they the dump-ee? Was the breakup an ugly or fairly amicable one? Has your friend ever hinted to you that he or she is still attracted to them? Have they mentioned hoping for a reconciliation with this person?

If your friend did the dumping because he or she was looking to move on, you might be okay. Likewise, you can move forward if that friend has moved on themselves and has a new boyfriend or girlfriend. If your friend was dumped and suffered a lot of pain as a result, or if he/she is still mooning after their former flame, you need to hold up. Even if he or she has found a new boyfriend or girlfriend, if their breakup with this ex was particularly messy, you should still give serious pause.

Preserving Your Friendship

The next thing to consider is the state of your friendship. Just how close of friends are you? You must acknowledge that, regardless of how the break up happened, there’s still a chance your friend could become very angry with you. They may even break off your friendship. If the thought of losing this particular friend is too much to bear, then you may have to pass on this romantic opportunity. If this friend isn’t particularly close to you, however, you may find that dating their former partner is more valuable to you than your friendship with them. Just be certain that you know where you stand and assess the risks before proceeding with dating the old lover.

Pursuing A Relationship With The Ex

Should you decide that you are going to start dating your friend’s ex, you need to be very careful about how you handle it. Don’t try to hide it from your friend—that will make things far worse. Lying about or covering it up will only give your friend more things to be mad about. Additionally, it makes you look bad to everyone involved. You’ll seem sneaky and like a backstabber. Instead, be open and up front. Pull your friend aside and let him or her know what’s going on.

Tell your friend that you hope he or she will be understanding, but that you also completely get it if he or she is angry with you. Be sensitive to his or her feelings. You may want to avoid hanging out with your friend as a couple at first. Ease your friend into the situation. If your friend really can’t deal with it, don’t force the issue. Let him or her know that you hope he/she can come around to the idea, then give your friend a lot of space. Hopefully they will eventually be able to move on, and you can all come to terms with you and the former partner dating sooner rather than later.

How To Get A First Date

Andrew Wang — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 23:00:47 +0000

Asking someone out on a first date can be highly nerve-wracking. In fact, fear of rejection can cause people to put off, or even give up on, asking someone out. That’s very unfortunate. Risky though it may be, asking for a first date can be highly rewarding. Though you can never be one hundred percent certain you’ll get the “yes” you’re looking for, you can up your odds. A little planning and skillful flirting can go a long way.

Reading The Body Language

So you’ve met someone that you’re interested in, and you’ve decided to ask them out. What now? Before you set a plan in motion, think over the interaction you’ve had with this person so far. You want to be sure they’ll be at least somewhat receptive to your advances. How did they act when you spoke with them in person? Were they upbeat, laughing at your jokes, and smiling a lot? What was their body language like? Did he or she lean in close when you were talking? Did they ever rest their hand on your arm or shoulder, or even give you a hug at the end of the night? All of these actions are indicators that they’re attracted to you.

If they acted in the opposite manner—closed off, somber, etc.—they probably aren’t interested. Don’t waste your time asking someone out, unless the evidence points to them liking you.

Coming Up With The Right Material For A First Date

If the person you’d like to be dating is a friend of a friend, there’s no shame in doing some reconnaissance work. Ask your friend for a little background on your new love interest. This will allow you to come up with a plan for a date that will be that much more enticing. Besides, your mutual friend may mention your interest to the guy or gal you’re pursuing, which will allow your friend to further gauge their interest in you.

If you don’t have a friend in common, try to recall anything that might have come up during your previous conversations with your intended. Did they mention a favorite band or sports team that you could get tickets to see? Maybe they brought up a movie or show they have been hoping to check out. If your date idea references something they mentioned when talking to you, that will show him or her that you’re very attentive and thoughtful.

Making The Phone Call

Now that you’ve got a date plan in mind and have decided that this individual is definitely interested in you, it’s time to call them up. Never invite someone on a date using email or a text message. In an ideal world, you’d be able to ask them in person, but if you’re not going to see each other soon, phone flirting is your best bet. Be simple and straightforward in your speech, without being forceful or over the top.

Say hello and ask how he or she has been doing, then get right to the point. Tell them how you enjoyed talking to them the last time you saw them. Then ask them if they’d be interested in going out with you to whatever event you’ve decided on. Tell them you’d really like to get to know them better in a one-on-one setting, just to make sure they don’t think you’re asking them to a group hang. Thanks to your advance planning and clear, simple wording, odds are very good you’ll get the yes you’re hoping to hear.

How To Get A Girlfriend

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 14:00:23 +0000

Dating and getting a girlfriend isn’t always the easiest thing to do – in fact, it’s downright frightening! Not only is dating scary and intimidating, you’re not always sure what you’re going to get out of the deal. Will you get a girlfriend, a one night stand or will you get rejected, yet again? Instead of worrying about how you’re going to get a date, use these three simple yet extremely effective suggestions to make sure you do get the girl!

Have Your Own Life

When dating, many guys assume that they have to put all of their time and effort into scoring a date with a girl. Instead of having a life of their own where they do things that they enjoy doing, they sit at a bar waiting for the right girl to walk in. This is not the best way to get a girlfriend! In fact, the best way to meet the right woman for you is to have your own life and do the things you like to do. Be at the places you like to be and take part in activities that make you happy.

What is so great about this is that instead of meeting a woman at a bar, you’ll meet her while doing something that is actually interesting to you and you know you’ll have at least one thing in common with them! If you are too desperate for a relationship, you put off a clingy, needy energy. Women will instantly pick up on this and they’ll actually be repelled by you – not attracted to you. If you have your own life, women will see that you are confident and able to have fun without them – and that you’re fun to be with!

Don’t Be Afraid To Make The First Move

Many guys are afraid to make the first move when playing the dating game, whether it’s flirting with a girl or kissing her. They’re afraid that a woman will reject them if they make the first move, so they play it safe and avoid doing anything at all! These guys may stand in the corner of the bar, looking around at cute women but never taking a step forward to meet them or say hello. If you are too timid when first meeting a woman, you’ll be stuck in the friend zone for sure!

Instead of hanging back and waiting for a woman to approach you, walk up to her and strike up a conversation! Introduce yourself and ask her a question about herself instead of using a lame pickup line. Don’t compliment her looks – instead, compliment her work ethic or tell her how hot it is that she’s into baseball. If she’s responding well to you and seems to be laughing and joking with you, put your hand on her knee or shoulder. Look her in the eyes and if things seem to get romantic, lean in for a kiss. Just don’t go too far before she’s really warmed up to you. Make sure that you are aware of her reactions – don’t push it if she’s not ready.

Show Your Interest Physically Instead Of Verbally

While telling a woman that you like her is one thing, actually showing her is the best way to move from dating to actually getting a girlfriend. This is where reading body language comes in. If you don’t know how to look at her body, the way she is standing and what she’s doing with her hands to tell if she likes you or not, it’s time to learn. Most women won’t flat out tell you that they like you. Instead, she might start touching you while she’s talking to you or lick their lips if she wants you to kiss her. Learn how to read body language instead of asking her if it’s okay for you to kiss her.

If you ask permission, it’s a turn off because it shows that you aren’t aware of her interest. Sure, you’re risking rejection by doing it, but keep in mind that if a girl seems to like you but doesn’t want to kiss you or go home with you, she’s not rejecting you – she’s just rejecting the next step. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, you may get another chance. Remember that the dating game is all about taking risks! Having the confidence to put yourself out there and taking the risk of being rejected by a woman is actually very sexy and attractive!

How To Approach Women Without Fear Of Rejection

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 14:00:46 +0000

When playing the dating scene, it can be difficult and even intimidating to approach a woman to ask her out on a date. Many guys are afraid of getting rejected by the woman they ask out, so they rarely approach a woman at all. Instead of being afraid of rejection next time you want to ask a girl out, try using these tips to confidently let her know that you’re into her – and get her to go on a date with you!

Pay Attention To Your Body Language

When dating, most guys try to play it “cool” and avoid looking like they’re desperately looking to score a date. However, this often ends up backfiring in their face, because they start playing it “too cool” and the women they’re interested in have no idea that they’re actually interested! This usually happens subconsciously, because a man’s body language will give everything away if he’s not careful to pay attention to it and make sure his body language is giving the same message that he’s trying to put across. If a guy wants to score a date but is trying to play it cool, his body language may make a girl think he’s not interested in her when he really is. The wrong body language will also make a guy look arrogant, cocky and aloof, preventing any girls from coming up to him and asking him out too! When you’re dating, it’s important that you pay extra attention to your body language so you can give the right message to any lovely lady that you might be interested in.

Be Yourself And Be Honest

Instead of trying to be the guy you think will get all the girls, try being yourself when you’re dating. Be honest about who you are, what you like and don’t like and what is important to you. Stick to your guns and what you believe is right and wrong. There are lots of girls out there that you will hit it off with and will appreciate you for who you are and will appreciate the fact that you’ve been honest about it instead of lying and putting on a fake face like a lot of guys who play the dating scene. If you’re looking for sex only, be honest about it. Let girls know up front what you’re looking for. You may be afraid of doing that because you’re afraid that girls won’t want to have sex with you if you don’t pretend that you’re interested in more, but there are girls out there who are also looking for one night stands too. If you’re dating but interested in a relationship, be honest about that too.

How To Use Compliments

There’s not a woman alive who doesn’t like hearing compliments, but most guys use the wrong ones when they’re dating. Sure, it’s easy to comment a girl on the way she looks, especially if she’s a good looking woman. However, good looking women are used to hearing about how pretty or hot they are so you’re not going to score points for being original. However, if you really want to let a girl know that you’re interested in her, you want to compliment something that is more important to her than just her looks or her hot body. Compliment her about something she’s done or something that she’s achieved that she’s worked hard for. This will mean much more to her than just a canned compliment that she hears often.

Have A Goal In Mind

Most guys approach the dating scene with a goal of talking to a girl, getting her number or asking her out. While this is a good ultimate goal, you should have a smaller goal in mind when you first meet a girl. Your goal is to get her moving with you. Whether it is just a simple walk to the bar or to go get coffee down the street, your goal is to get her away from her friends and walking and talking with you. This will give her a chance to be in your space and you in hers, without the awkwardness of a face to face confrontation right away. Getting her moving is also a great first date idea too. Instead of asking her out for drinks or coffee where you’re both worried about what to say to each other, go out and do something together that you both enjoy such as bowling or taking an art or music class together!

How To Know If A Girl Likes You

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 14:00:03 +0000

When dating around and looking for the right person, it’s easy to make lots of friends and get to know lots of different people – but how do you know if a girl really likes you in a romantic way? Reading into signals and body language isn’t always easy, so here are three great ways to tell if someone you’re thinking about dating really likes you, or would rather be washing her hair on Friday night than go out on a date with you.

Frequency Of Contact

When you’re dating and trying to figure out if a girl likes you or not, one of the first things you want to look at is who is contacting who and how often. Step back and take a look at your phone and find out if you’re calling or texting her more or if she’s always calling or texting you. If you’re always making the effort to contact her and she rarely (if ever) picks up the phone and makes the effort to contact you, the affection may be a little one sided. She may not be as interested in you as you are in her. However, if she’s calling or texting you back about the same amount that you are with her, then it’s a pretty safe bet that she likes you too and there’s a definite chance for a relationship there. Keep in mind though, if she’s always the one to call you or she’s doing it way too much, she may be a little obsessed with you and that’s not a way you want to start a healthy relationship. If she’s blowing up your phone, she most certainly likes you – but perhaps a little too much.

Does She Take Your Calls?

Another way to find out if a woman you’re considering dating shares romantic feelings for you too is to look at how she responds to your calls. Does she answer the phone within the first few rings when you call no matter what she’s doing? Or does she let it roll to voicemail and get back to you later when it is more convenient for her and she’s not around other people? A girl that likes you is going to answer the phone almost every time you call (with a few exceptions like something really important that is going on at work, etc.), even if she is with her family or friends. If she really digs you, she’s not going to try to hide the fact that you’re calling while she’s spending time with the people that are really important to her in her life. She’s going to pick up the phone and say hello, even if it’s just to tell you she’s up to her ears in work or family and will get back to you later. On the other hand, if she’s often letting your calls roll to voicemail and calling or texting you back later, you can safely assume that she considers whatever she’s doing at the moment you call more important than talking to you.

Ask Her To Do A Favor For You

The litmus test to really find out if the girl you’d like to be dating shares the same feelings as you is to ask her to do a favor for you. This is a big one! Ask her to do a small favor for you (something that doesn’t cost a lot of money or doesn’t take up too much of her time or causes her to go well out of her way) while you’re at work or busy at a family function. Does she do it with no questions asked? Does she seem to be happy to get to do something for you and show you that you’re important to her? Or does she put it off or refuse to do it at all? Does she make excuses as to why she can’t do it, or even flat out tell you she’s too busy? Her willingness to do something for you is a great indication of her interest level and can tell you whether she’d like to be dating you or whether you’re more in the friend zone to her. This can also help a girl that isn’t sure whether she likes you or not realize that she does – because naturally, her brain will ask her why she just did something for you and subconsciously she will realize that it is because she cares for you. It can also help her to like you even more, as she gains satisfaction from seeing you happy with her that she’s done something to help you!

5 Signs They’re Really Interested In You

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 14:00:58 +0000

Picking up flirting signals isn’t always a piece of cake, especially if people are shy or covert about being into you. While some flirting signals are super easy to spot (say, a big kiss on the cheek or a quick smack on the rear end) others are a little harder to see on the radar. Here are some ways you can tell if a girl or guy is actually flirting with you and if they’re interested in you. If you see one or more of these telltale signals, it’s a safe bet that they’re into you. If you aren’t picking up any of them, you’re probably wasting your time.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is a biggie when it comes to flirting. If they’re not looking you in the eye, they either have severe, crippling shyness or they’re just not that interested in what they think you have to offer. However, if he or she is looking you in the eyes when you’re talking, it’s a safe bet they’re totally captivated by what you’re saying. Someone that likes you and wants to date you is going to look at you when you speak and they’ll probably still be looking at you long after you’ve stopped talking. Even someone who is a little shy will glance up a few times at your face to gaze into your eyes. There’s a reason, after all, that it is said that the “eyes are the window to the soul!”

Frequent Touching

When someone makes a point to touch you often, they’re most likely flirting with you and want you to ask them out. They might make excuses to touch you by saying that you had a piece of dirt or lint on your shirt (conveniently placed on an area of your body that he or she wants to touch) or by spilling a drink on you and helping you mop it up. How many guys have gotten to feel a girl up because they “accidentally” spilled their wine on a girl’s shirt and help soak it up with a napkin placed in just the right location? If they lay their hand on your knee during a conversation, wipe an eyelash off your cheek or brush against you when they get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom, they’re definitely interested in you.

Focused On You

If someone is super interested in you, all of their attention is going to be on you. He or she is going to be interested in what you’re saying, listening to the jokes you’re making and offering feedback and stories of their own. This is all part of the dating game and lets the person of interest know that they want to hear what you have to say and are curious about who you are as a person. However, if the person you’re talking to is sneaking looks over at the game, conversing with their friends or are occupied by their cell phones, they’re probably not into hanging out with you. If the person you are flirting with seems distracted in any way, politely end the conversation and move on to get to know someone else. You don’t have to waste your time on account of being polite and friendly.

Smiling And Laughing

A person who is flirting and having a good time is going to be smiling and laughing. They’re going to be engaged in the conversation, and may be exhibiting some of the other telltale clues that they’re into you as well. On the other hand, someone who isn’t having fun or doesn’t seem to be hitting it off with you isn’t going to put on a fake happy face – and if they do, you’ll be able to tell right away. There’s a world of difference between a cheesy fake smile and a genuine smile on the face of a gorgeous guy or gal.

If you’re just not sure that the special someone you are thinking about is thinking about you too, just muster up the guts to ask them out on a date. Sure, you might get rejected or even politely turned down, but asking someone out on a great date is the best way to know if someone likes you for sure. It doesn’t have to be something super fancy or perfect – in fact, it can be a casual lunch or coffee date. While you may think that the clues definitely point to “yes,” there’s no way to tell for certain until you get their number and ask them out!

How To Leave A Message & Get A Return Call

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 14:00:28 +0000

You’ve been dating and you’ve got someone’s number. Congratulations! You’re riding the high but you’ve yet to actually call them – what if you get their voicemail? Getting the answering machine make most people lock up, stutter and leave the most awkward messages. What kind of message do you need to leave to get a return call? If you’ve struck out in the past and have left voicemails that don’t get callbacks, here’s how you can leave a message and get a call back – every time!

Speak Slowly And Clearly

When leaving a voicemail, whether you’re phone dating or calling a number that you’ve scored, it’s important to speak slowly and clearly so you can be understood. When people get stuck with the answering machine instead of the person they want to be dating, they tend to get very nervous clam up. They may not speak at all for several minutes, or they may talk so fast that they’ll never be understood. Speak normally, but slowly and clearly enough that the person listening can understand each word that you’re saying. Just don’t talk too slowly, or the person that’s listening may actually think you’re “slow!”

Leave Your Phone Number

You would be surprised at how many people get nervous and forget to leave who they are or their phone number in the message. If you have to, write it down. Sure, you know your own name and phone number but it’s easy to get so nervous that you forget to say it. Also, remember to say where you met them at the beginning of the call and repeat your phone number again at the end of the call. It may unnerve you to think that they may have forgotten who you are or where they met you from, but we all get busy and things slip from time to time. If they don’t remember where they met you, you’re probably not getting a call back. If you leave a long message, the person listening to it may not have the time to rewind it and listen to the phone number again. Saying your number again at the end of the voicemail gives whoever you want to be dating the opportunity to write it down after they’ve had a chance to listen to who you are and where they know you from.

Practice What You’re Going To Say First

It’s easy to get really nervous during different steps in the dating process, especially if you’ve never talked to the object of your affection before. If you’re super nervous, practice what you’re going to say before you actually make the call. You want to sound confident and casual, not scared and stuttering! Even if you’re a pretty chill person, the pressure is totally on after the beep. Your confidence will suddenly drop and you may not remember what you were going to say! Making a few notes about what you’re going to say before you make the call and having them in front of you when you dial will make it easier for you to leave a great message.

Let Them Know You Like Them

How many times have you left a message letting someone know who you are, where you met them and what your phone number is – but have forgotten to let whoever you’re calling know that you really like them and enjoyed meeting them? Lots of people forget how important telling someone you’re into them is, which often leads to getting stuck in the friend zone instead of actually dating them. Don’t be afraid to let someone know that you like them and you’d like to meet them again or schedule a first date with them. Just be honest about how you feel!

Don’t Be Afraid To Call Back

After leaving a voicemail, give it a few days and if you don’t hear from them, call again. There’s no “phone dating rule” that says you can’t call more than once. Lots of things can happen to sabotage your message actually getting through (in its entirety) to the person you’re looking to start dating. They might not have gotten the message if their voicemail was full, or your phone – or theirs – may have cut out before they got to write down your entire number and they’re not sure how to get a hold of you. The message may have accidentally been deleted, or they simply may have listened to it, meant to call you back and just forgot. There’s no shame in calling again to see if the message actually went through. Just don’t end up on the stalker list – calling back more than a few times is a little creepy.

Dating Tips – How To Have Multiple Girlfriends And Be Honest About It

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 14:00:56 +0000

Having multiple girlfriends is something single guys (and even men in relationships) dream about. Unfortunately for them, dating more than one girlfriend isn’t something that is achieved easily. Most guys try to lie about it, but they always get found out – leaving them alone with no one to date at all. It is possible, however, to have more than one girlfriend at a time without lying or cheating – here’s how!

Be Truthful With Each Girl

If you want to have multiple girlfriends, you’re going to have to be completely, 100% truthful with each girl that you’re seeing. Let each one know that you’re dating other people and you’re not going to be exclusive. That way, if she’s looking for an exclusive relationship, she can look for one elsewhere before you both have too much time and emotion invested into a relationship that really isn’t going to be a relationship at all. Yes, this is difficult to do because some women will look at you like you’ve grown feet on your head and others will walk right out on you. However, the right girls won’t mind that you’re looking for a casual relationship and are seeing other people. They’ll be interested in casual dating too and will truly appreciate that you were completely forthcoming about your other girlfriends from the get go.

Let Her Know That You Like Her

In addition to being open with each girlfriend that you have, another trick to seeing more than one woman is to let each girl know that you really do like her or love her. It’s ok to like or love more than one girl at a time, so don’t be afraid to tell a woman that you love her if you also have romantic feelings for someone else that you’re dating. Women by nature want to feel loved and cherished, and if you make each girlfriend feel like they are important to you and mean something to you, they’ll be more apt to stick around, even if you are romancing more than one woman.

Be Discreet About Your Dating Habits

When you have multiple girlfriends, it’s important that you keep your dating habits to yourself. Yes, you’ve been genuine with each woman that you date that you’re not in an exclusive relationship with them, but that doesn’t mean that any of the girls you’re dating want to see evidence of your relationships with other women. Don’t have pictures of you and your multiple girlfriends in your home (that is, if you bring any of your dates to your house) and don’t post pictures on social websites such as Facebook or MySpace. This will only lead to trouble and more trouble! Even if you do have multiple girlfriends, if you make each woman feel as though she is your only girl (even though they know it’s not true), you will have much more success than if you make them feel as though they’re not the only one. This truly is the key to seeing more than one woman at a time – if you can make each one feel special, loved and important, you’re in the clear.

What To Do If You Want To Become Exclusive

If you decide that you want to have an exclusive relationship with one of the women you’re dating, it’s important that you let each one of your multiple girlfriends know immediately. Don’t wait, and don’t continue dating them if you truly just want to be in a relationship with only one of them. It may be difficult to let your girlfriends know that you don’t want to see them anymore, but it will allow them to move on with their own lives and search out relationships of their own. It will also help you to be frank with the girl that you’ve chosen to be with, so you can let her know that you’ve decided you want to be with her and only her. A break up is a difficult thing and you’ll have more than one on your hands, but that’s one of the caveats of having multiple girlfriends. You may also want to give yourself some time apart from your chosen significant other – if you had any emotional attachments to the other women you were with, you’re going to have some post-break up blues for a little while. You don’t want to let your significant other see the emotions you have about breaking up with the other women because she may doubt that you made the right choice and that you want to be with her and only her.

Best Dating Tips Of 2010

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 14:00:32 +0000

Dating is intimidating, to say the least. Learning how to date successfully takes more than just asking a girl or guy out. In fact, many men and women have given up on the “dating game” all together simply because it can be extremely difficult to snag a date – and often, the repeated rejection hurts. If you’re having trouble getting a date, it’s most likely not because you’re “undateable.” In fact, quite the opposite!

Dating doesn’t come naturally – most successful daters have been doing it for awhile and have learned from their mistakes. If you want to be good at it, you have to not only learn the correct techniques to use (what to say and when to say it), but you also have to practice! Practice, of course, makes perfect. It’s not about pick up lines or how “suave” you are or even how good looking you are.

Getting a date is much more about being real and connecting with someone with whom you have chemistry. Finding this person, however, can be the hard part. Here are our top dating tips of the past year – use them to create a new year’s dating plan!

Dating Tips: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 14:00:16 +0000

When dating, it can be easy to get stuck in the “friend zone” with a girl you’re actually romantically interested in. Things are going great, but before you know it, you’re more like best friends than a couple. Here’s how you can get out of the friend zone and start dating your love interest in a romantic way – it’s all about changing the current dynamics of the relationship. Sometimes it’s a little risky, but in the end, it will pay off!

Date Other Women

Dating other women and creating a little “friendly competition” is a great way to break out of the friend zone. A woman who consideres you a really good friend may realize that she likes you as more than that once you start dating someone else. A fair number of women (in fact, a lot of them) tend to want what they “can’t” have. Before, she didn’t see a need to start dating you because you were available to her and gave her the emotional intimacy she wanted in a friendship type relationship. However, when you start dating someone else, she will miss that connection you two had and be a little jealous of the girl you’re dating, prompting her to make a move and ask you out.

Plan Something Crazy – Then Kiss Her

Take some time to plan a great date doing something amazing. Plan a trip to an amusement park, go ice skating or do something else super fun and a little crazy. Right when she’s having an awesome time and is filled with happy, positive emotions, you’re going to lean in and kiss her. Kissing her at the perfect moment is going to do one of two things. It will most likely turn into a great kiss and make her realize she has romantic feelings for you – or, she’ll simply let you know that she’s not interested in being more than friends with you. However, if you play your cards right and make your first move at the perfect time and place, she will be much more likely to accept your invitation for a romantic relationship. If you’ve been friends for a long time, you may be tempted to use this opportunity to tell her you love her. Avoid this at all costs! You don’t want to overwhelm her by confessing that you’re in love with her or have loved her for a long time. Instead, just leave it open ended. Establish that you both have romantic feelings for each other and then just continue having a great time! You can talk about being in love or being in a relationship later – much later.

Stop Confiding In Her

To get out of the friend zone, you must first figure out how you got there in the first place. The most common way that guys get stuck in a friendship type relationship rather than a romantic one is they start confiding their own problems in their love interests and offering a shoulder to cry on for her when she’s talking about her problems. This is a great way to build an intimate friendship, but women with “guy friends” like this will only ever see them as friends and not in a romantic way. What you need to do is stop confiding in her – when you go out with her, instead of having a “talk” or discussion, practice flirting and having a good time. Show her that you enjoy flirting with her and want to be romantic with her.

How To Downplay It If She’s Not Interested

If you find out she’s not interested in you that way, you may be scared that you’re going to lose the friendship. This is actually a huge reason that many guys won’t let a girl know they’re into them romantically – because they’re not only scared of rejection, but they’re also scared of losing any relationship they have with their girl at all. Whether she stays friends with you after she declines your offer for a romantic relationship isn’t up to her – it’s up to you. Just don’t let it get weird! Go back to doing the same things you were before and simply say, “You can’t blame a guy for trying.” Because you really can’t!

Dating Tips: How To Ask a Girl Out – In Person, On the Phone, Or Text

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 14:00:19 +0000

Dating can be very frustrating for guys… Most guys are completely lost on how to ask a girl out. It can be intimidating to say the least, even if you know what you’re doing. Many guys avoid dating all together because they either don’t know what to say or they’re afraid of getting rejected. Instead of worrying about what you’re going to say or what’s going to happen, have a game plan. Here’s how – in person, on the phone or via text!

Find Out If She Actually Likes You

Many guys make this fatal dating mistake – instead of paying attention to which girls seem to like them “that way,” they simply make a move on whoever they think is the cutest or looks like they might go home with them that night. This is not the best way get a “yes” for that first date!

Instead, look for the girls that appear interested in you romantically. (These are the girls you should be dating…)

Does she smile at you a lot?
Laugh at your jokes, even when they’re not funny?
Touch you a lot on the arm or leg while you’re talking?
Brush up against you
Look at you but then look away quickly if she’s caught?
Make excuses to be around you?

Pay A Compliment

Women love compliments. They’re a great way to break the ice and get her intrigued. However, lame compliments aren’t really going to get you anywhere. If a girl is really good looking, she’s going to hear from every guy about how pretty she is or how good she looks in whatever she’s wearing. She’ll even get those corny pick-up lines that nobody supposedly uses anymore. So if you really want her attention, you’ll need to come up with something creative and different.

A creative compliment is a key component of getting that first date and one of the best dating tips you’ll here anywhere, so take head. Compliment her on something smart that she said or did, or find another way to compliment her intelligence. You can also compliment something she’s passionate about – such as animal rights – and let her know that you think it’s really cool. Just be real instead of throwing a cheap compliments.

Get To Know A Little About Her

A lot of guys critical dating strategy. If they’re not sure how to take that first step, they’ll start talking about themselves – their job, their friends, their hobbies, etc. She doesn’t want to sit there and listen to you talk only about yourself! You’ll get much farther if you talk about her and get to know a little bit about her. Find out what music she’s interested in or if she has a pet cat or dog. Find out what her hobbies are, if she enjoys watching new movies or if she’s very athletic and likes to participate in sports. This will not only help you get to know her and make her feel like you’re really interested and value what she has to say, it will also give you date ideas for the first date. If she has a dog, offer to go to the new dog park or if she enjoys sports, go hiking or bike riding. Tailoring your dating invitation to what she enjoys and likes to do is more likely to win you a “yes” than a “no.”

Offer A Casual Invitation

Some dating tips are complete bunk and others actually have some value to them. This unique dating tip has been proven to work time and again, so give it a try! Offer her a casual invitation to the movies, dinner, the dog park or wherever you want go. Arrange beforehand to get an “unexpected call” or having to go somewhere where you won’t be able to get calls or texts for awhile. Let her know that you really want to take her out, but you’ll have to get her number and call her back to arrange a time and place. This will allow her some time to think over the invitation without feeling like she’s been put on the spot.

Be A Gentleman If She Turns You Down

If she turns you down for a first date, don’t be annoying by asking again and again. That’s one trap far too many guys fall into – if she says no, she means no! Give her your number and let her know that if things change in the future to give you a call. You may end up with a really great friend in the process – and it may turn into something more later!

Dating Tips: The Pros And Cons Of Age Differences

Andrew Wang — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 23:00:08 +0000

In a time when age differences (so-called cougars and cubs) are as common as May-December relationships, large age differences are a regular part of dating. Everyone is familiar with the concept of the older man or woman, but that doesn’t mean that stereotypes for these kinds of relationships aren’t still going strong. Not only will you have to deal with these stereotypes, but you’ll also have to address the very real problems that can occur in these relationships. As things become more serious between you and your partner, you may find that weighing the pros and cons can help you decide if your romance can go the distance despite your differing ages.

Cons Of Relationship With A Large Age Difference

Many of the problems that arise in a partnership with large age differences are direct results of the aforementioned societal stereotypes. Family members, friends and colleagues may have no problem telling you that they disapprove of your relationship. If you’re an older woman with a younger man, many people may openly criticize you on the assumption that you’re only in it for sex. Your partner could easily find himself labeled your boy-toy. If you’re a younger woman with an older man, your peers and parents may feel that he’s taking advantage of your youthful naïveté. Of course, they’ll also think he’s a totally lecherous hound who will inevitably dump you for a younger woman. Sometimes these stereotypes turn out to be true, but whether they apply or not, all the negative talk can take an emotional toll on your relationship.

Other Things To Consider

There are weightier problems to consider, too. As the younger half of the relationship, are you prepared for the strong possibility that you will outlive your partner by many years? Do you want to have children of your own, but your older partner is done with their child-rearing years? Is it incredibly awkward for either of you when you’re among your mate’s same-aged friends? Should any of these be a deal breaker, it’s best that you’re honest with your partner about your feelings. You may find that ending the relationship now saves you both from more pain in the future.

Benefits Of A Relationship With A Large Age Difference

However, there are also many benefits to being in a relationship marked by age differences. If you can get past the issues above, you could reap a lot of joy. Some people are truly old souls or young at heart, so they’re better off with an older or younger partner than someone closer to their age. As the younger half of the duo, you can learn much from the wisdom and experience of your older love. If you’re the older member of the relationship, having someone younger in your life could help keep you more active and youthful. Sometimes your biggest differences can keep your relationship that much more interesting.

In the end, no matter how large the age gap, what really matters is that you love each other. If you’re having a good time and things feel right between you, you’ll be able to weather the stereotyping and conquer your problems. After all, age is just a number.

Dating Tips For Women – How To Get A Date

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 14:00:45 +0000

Here are 5 great dating tips for women to help you get that first date without making yourself look desperate – or like a dud!

Let’s face it – guys aren’t always so quick on the uptake when it comes to realizing that a girl likes them. If you wait around for a man to make the first move, you may be waiting quite awhile for that first date. So don’t be afraid to take the initiative, make the first move and ask him for a date.

Tip #1 – Suggest A Group Date

One of the best dating tips I can give you is to invite him out on a group date. Some guys don’t like the pressure of a one on one dating situation, and that may be why he hasn’t made the first move yet. He may be thinking he has to take you out to a movie or dinner for that first date, and he may not be ready to deal with that level of dating intimacy yet.

Group date ideas can take some of the pressure off him. Suggest a group date with you, him and some other mutual friends to do something fun like laser tag or paintball. He’ll be more inclined to accept the offer if it seems more like just a bunch of friends hanging out rather than an actual first date, but you’ll still get to spend time together, enjoy some sexy flirting, and see if there is any chemistry between the two of you.

Tip #2 – Hint At Something You Want To Do

Another great dating tip is to learn how to give him hints and gentle nudges in the direction you would like him to go.

Sometimes guys lock up and won’t ask a girl out because they’re just not sure what to suggest doing on the first date. He doesn’t know what you like or don’t like, and for all he knows, he may be inviting a vegetarian out to dinner at the best steakhouse in town. So if he’s been eyeing you all evening and hasn’t made a move yet, he may be afraid of refection if he suggests an idea that you wouldn’t like or would think is lame.

Instead of waiting for him to make the first move (because you may be waiting a long time), provide him with some date ideas by letting him know you’ve really been wanting to see a particular movie or love ice skating. This will open door for him to let you know he’d love to take you – and he won’t have to be so nervous about going somewhere with you that he’s afraid you’ll hate or getting turned down from the start because you thought his date idea was lame.

Tip #3 – Buy Him A Beer

You’ve made googly eyes at him across the bar and he hasn’t made a move yet. Maybe he’s nervous about approaching women, so instead he just doesn’t do anything. A lot of guys are so afraid of rejection that they would rather stay single than take the risk.

Here’s a great dating tip to ease his fear of rejection. Break the ice by having the bartender serve him up one of what he’s drinking – and make sure that the bartender lets him know it’s from the cute girl “over there.” This will definitely let him know that you’re interested. He’ll of course have to get up and say thank you, giving you the opportunity to chat him up and get that first date with him.

Tip #4 – Text Him

The dating world has changed with texting, chatting, and video. Maybe you’re the one whose afraid of rejection… If that’s the case here’s a dating tip for just you to help ease your fears.

If you have his number, text him an invitation to a group outing or other fun date idea. Texting is totally non-threatening and will give him time to think about the date before giving you his answer. He may be more likely to accept because he’s not put on the spot like he would be with a direct invitation in person or on the phone.

Sometimes guys lock up when they’ve been put on the spot, and you may get a rejection simply because he’s too scared to say yes – not because he’s not into you. Sending him a text will once again take the pressure off him, and he’ll be more likely to accept your dating invitation because he’s had some time to mull it over.

Tip #5 – Let Him Help You With Something

Almost all guys love helping a “damsel in distress.” It’s hard wired into their genetic code. Take advantage of this by getting his help with something. If you’re a strong, independent woman, it may ruffle your feathers a bit to want help from a man.

Think about it in the perspective of “letting” him to help you with something, such as the funny noise your car is making or the leaky pipes under your sink. Not only will he enjoy helping you, you’ll also get to spend time with each other and practice flirting with each other to see if there’s any chemistry there – without the official “first date” stamp on it.

Dating Tips: Do You Lead People On?

Andrew Wang — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 23:00:57 +0000

Within the realm of dating, it’s important to make sure that you’re sending the right signals. You don’t want to be conveying the message that you’re not interested in someone if you are, and you most certainly don’t want to convince someone that you like them if you don’t. If you’re a naturally flirty and friendly person, you may be doing just that.

Are You Leading People On?

How, then, can you tell if you lead people on? Think back over the years of your dating life and ask yourself how many times the guys or girls you were (at most) platonically interested in made a play for you. If it’s only happened once or twice, then you’re probably not to blame. Most likely the one or two people who mistakenly thought you liked them back were just blinded by their own hopefulness. If it’s happened on multiple occasions, then you probably are leading on unsuspecting people. However unintentional, you need to get a handle on what you’ve been doing to confuse these folks. It can make the difference between losing a good friend over a misunderstanding or not.

Flirting typically involves a lot of the same things that being friendly or outgoing do—talking animatedly, laughing loudly when the person you’re speaking with makes jokes, leaning in close when you talk, etc. If you’re a generally amicable person, try paying attention to your actions the next time you talk to someone you only want to befriend. If you’re touching them a lot when you talk—patting them on the back, playfully hitting them in the arm when they say something funny—that contact can be misinterpreted as flirting. There’s no reason not to act like yourself, but you may want to tone down some of these actions. Try to limit the physical contact you make with people you’re not interested in dating. While a handshake or hug is fine for when you first see them, it is best not to linger during either action.

Sending Other Mixed Signals

There are other dating mistakes that can lead people on, as well. If you spend too much one-on-one time together, most especially if it’s all initiated by you, that definitely sends mixed signals. This doesn’t mean you have to stop hanging out with your friend, but you should try to mix things up and hang with a bigger group more often. If you currently have a significant other or crush, regularly complaining to your friend about them can cause confusion. Your pal may suspect that, since things are awry, he or she has found the perfect moment to swoop in on you. Either talk up your current partner or love interest, or limit talking about them for the most part. If your friend thinks you’re happily taken or satisfied with being single, they probably won’t go after you.

All in all, if you review your dating habits, you’ll probably get to the root of the problem, whether you’re too much of a flirt or are spending way too much time with your friend. Just remember that you wouldn’t want anyone to lead you on romantically. That should be all the incentive you need to keep things honest and straightforward with any potentially confused friends and acquaintances.

Dating Tips – Is She Committed For The Long Haul?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 14:00:19 +0000

When dating, especially if you’ve been dating someone for awhile, it is completely natural to wonder where the relationship is headed. Are you headed for commitment or is it still just something casual and fun? Either way, it’s important to know what is going on – the trick is, however, that this is a topic that is not always easy to discuss. Here are some tips on how to talk to your partner about commitment, where your relationship stands and where they think it’s headed.

Question: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. I thought we were both committed to a long term relationship but lately she has been saying things that make me think otherwise. What is the best way to approach this topic and to find out where she expects our relationship to be heading?

–YouTube Viewer

The Importance Of Communicating With Your Partner

Communication with your partner during the dating stage is essential to learning where your relationship is and where it’s going. Some people are able to “let it ride” and simply play it by ear, letting it go wherever it goes, but many others are not and need to be in the know about what is happening between them and their partners. It’s easy for two people to miscommunicate and give each other weird signals, simply because men and women have totally different ways of communicating. If your partner is giving you a weird vibe about where the relationship is going – for example, you thought she was in it for the long haul but she is starting to act more like you two are simply dating and having fun – don’t be quick to judge just based on the feelings you’re getting from her. You may be assuming the wrong thing. Instead, recognize the importance of communicating with your partner and plan a time to sit down with them and talk about what is going on in the partnership and where each of you see it going.

How To Approach The Topic The Right Way

While sitting down with your partner and talking to them about the relationship sounds absolutely frightening, it doesn’t have to be if you learn to approach the topic the right way. First of all, never say, “We have to talk.” This will shut them down faster than you ever would have imagined! Instead, bring up the topic casually while having dinner or sitting on the couch watching television or a movie. Let her know that you really enjoy spending time with her, but that you’ve been getting a weird vibe from her about the where you two stand together. Ask her if it’s true and if she’s been meaning to give those vibes, or if it’s simply a misunderstanding. You can also ask her if she sees you and her heading into long term relationship territory, but just make sure you’re not being critical at all. Ask questions, but you absolutely don’t want to place blame on your partner for anything or criticize anything they’ve said or done. Criticism isn’t necessary and the negativity will only cause you and your partner to start arguing and fighting. You especially want to avoid giving them an ultimatum – that is the fastest way to end a new relationship.

When You And Your Partner Don’t Agree

If you and your partner don’t agree on where your partnership stands and where it’s headed, it’s time to make a decision. For example, say she isn’t interested in commitment and simply wants to continue dating and having fun and you would rather see what you two have actually go somewhere. You can choose to continue dating her and enjoy spending time with her, waiting to see if she comes around and wants to take what you two have to the next level. If you choose to head down this road though, you have to understand that she may never want to take it to the next level and may even dump you if something she’s more interested in comes along. This may or may not be a risk you are willing to take. The other option you have is to break up with her and end the relationship so you can start looking for someone who isn’t afraid of commitment. Either way, when you and your partner don’t agree on where the relationship is headed, it can hurt. Decisons that you make from here on out won’t be easy, but remember what your goals are and what you’re really looking for in life and in a partnership.

Dating Tips: Will My Rebound Relationship End Badly?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 14:00:16 +0000

A rebound relationship is common, and it can sometimes be a fun way to get over someone you’ve broken up with. The thing about these types of relationships though is that they rarely last, simply because the person just getting out of a previous relationship is “rebounding” and not ready for commitment again. However, there are a rebound relationship or two that actually last, so if you’re really into someone who just came from a break up, you may not want to give up hope yet. Here’s how to tell if they’re still hung up on their ex – and if their relationship with you will work out for the better.

Question: Hey, I recently met this girl and we were getting pretty close but then she started talking about her ex-boyfriend who she broke up with because he moved away. She said she’s still in love with him and now I realized that I might just be filling the “gap” that he left behind. Is this kind of rebound relationship going to end badly if I pursue it?

–YouTube Viewer

Why Some Rebound Relationships Don’t Work

Some people go into a rebound relationship with the attitude of simply engaging in casual dating or sex. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if both parties understand that it is more of a casual hookup. However, if one person is going into it thinking that it is going to be the start of something really special, they can get let down pretty hard when they find out the person they are really into isn’t really into them. There are some ways to tell if the rebound relationship will work out or not before you become completely invested in it, so take some time to think the situation through before you really commit to it. If they’re the ones that have done the breaking up with their past partner, they may be ready to move on and start a new commitment with you. However, if they’re the ones that were broken up with, they may still be hung up on the “one that got away.”

Is She Trying To Keep In Contact With Him?

If she says she’s still in love with her ex-boyfriend, she may still be keeping in contact with him through phone, email or chat. This can be a huge indicator of whether or not your relationship with her will work out or not, because if she’s still communicating with him, she’s still hung up on him – and keeping in touch with him will not allow her to fully move on from him and committing herself to what she has with you. Talk to her and let her know that you enjoy spending time with her and want to pursue what you have with her, but you can’t do that while she is still talking to her ex. Let her know that continuing to talk to him is just going to hurt her, because she won’t be able to move on from him and it will keep her from finding happiness elsewhere. Let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and that you’d like her to stop talking to him so you and her can focus on your relationship together. Be wary though – she may insist that it is harmless and she’s going to do it anyway. She may even do it behind your back. Decide beforehand whether this is a deal breaker or not. If she refuses to stop talking to her ex, are you willing to walk away?

Time Will Make A Difference

If you haven’t been in the rebound relationship with her for very long, all she may need is time. It takes time to get over an ex, especially if he’s the one that initiated the break up. If the break up is fresh and you’re really into this girl, take a step back and allow her some time to collect herself and get over him. She may be worth the wait, and the wait probably won’t be very long if she’s already agreed that continuing to keep in touch with him is simply keeping her from moving on. However, if you and her have been dating for awhile now, and she’s still not able to move on from what she had with him, it may be a sign that she’s not going to get over him for a long time. If this is the case, you may want to consider moving on yourself and looking for someone who respects you enough to be with you and you only mentally and emotionally.

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Know If He’s Just In It For The Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Guys love sex. It’s just a fact of life. But if you’re with a guy who only seems to want to have sex or make out, you might be wondering if he’s only in the relationship for the sex. If you think he only cares about getting in between the sheets with you, there are some questions you can ask yourself to better understand the situation and his true motives. Here’s what to do if you think he’s only interested in sex, so you can figure out if that’s really what is going on or if he’s just a normal guy who can’t stop thinking about it.

Question: How do I know if a guy really loves and respects me, or if he is just into sex and making out?

–YouTube Viewer

All Guys Are Into Sex And Making Out – Don’t Hold It Against Him

If you think he’s only in the relationship for sex just because he wants to have sex or make out all the time, you could be very, very wrong. Most – if not all – guys are very into sex and making out and it’s constantly on their minds. He may really enjoy being in a relationship with you and may care a lot about you, but he may not be able to control his mind when it comes to thinking about you naked. Don’t hold it against him just because he loves sex, oral sex, kissing, making out and anything with you that involves getting to feel you up. Many girls think that if they want to find out if their guy only cares about the sex, they can withhold sex and see if he still enjoys hanging out with her. This is totally unfair to him! Don’t punish him – instead, there are some questions you can ask yourself that will give you a better handle on the situation without hurting your guy unnecessarily.

How To Tell If He’s Only In It For The Sex

If you’re really beginning to think that he only wants to be with you because he likes having sex with you, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Do you engage in other activities with him?
How does he treat you outside the bedroom?
How does he treat you in front of friends and family?
Do you hang out together with his friends and your friends?
Is he truly interested in what you have to say or what is going on in your life?
Do you communicate outside the bedroom?
Does he call you late at night, only for booty calls?
Does he come by only for sex?

If he does ok on most of these questions, then he probably enjoys both being in a relationship with you or dating you and having sex with you. Guys that only want sex will tend not to hide it very well at all – men are definitely not masters of hiding their motives by nature. If that’s his game, he’ll basically meet up with you only for sex. He won’t try to fake it by alternating a nice date with a booty call – he’ll go straight for the booty call at 2 a.m. after he’s been partying with his friends all night. He won’t want to hang out with you in front of his friends, or hang out with yours at all. He won’t call or text you just to “chat.” He’ll almost always, if not every time, suggest sex right away. If you’re not up for hitting the sheets, he’ll make up an excuse later as to why he can’t hang out. No, Grandma really isn’t sick – he just found something better to do because you didn’t want to “do it.” If he spends time with you outside of the bedroom, hangs out with your friends and his (with you) and sometimes calls you just to say “hey,” he is probably not only in it for the sex – he’s just an ordinary guy who loves it and loves it with you!

What To Do If He Only Cares About Sex

If your guy fits the bill of someone who wants sex and only sex, stop and think about where you’re willing to go with this. Is the sex great and would you otherwise be single without any sex? Why not keep him as a booty call while you continue to date and look for the real deal? If you’re not into that, consider breaking it off with him. You don’t have to waste your time with someone who wants only sex unless that’s what you want too.

Dating Tips: How to Be Memorable Without Being Creepy

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 14:00:34 +0000

When playing the dating game, it’s hard to do everything just right so you score a phone number or a date the next night. Too often, many men find themselves ending up being the guy that creeped her out instead of being the guy she remembers, who made her laugh and smile.

Here’s how to avoid being the “creepy guy” and instead, how to be the memorable guy she gives her number to or calls you the next day if you gave her your number.

Dating Tip #1 – She’ll Remember How You Made Her Feel

When you meet a girl, she usually won’t remember what you looked like or what you said. She won’t remember what the two of you talked about and she won’t remember what songs were playing or even what drinks you ordered her. What she will remember, however, is how you made her feel when you were flirting with her. Did you make her feel good about herself? Did you make her feel like she was the only girl in the room and that you had eyes only for her? Of course, if you overwhelm her with unwanted attention, she’ll remember that too, but then you’ll be the creepy guy. Make her feel fabulous about herself and she’ll definitely remember you.

Dating Tip #2 - Truly Listen To What She’s Saying

All women want to be heard and want someone to listen to what they have to say. To get her to remember you, you have to be that person. When talking with a woman and listening to her, don’t just nod your head and say, “uh huh…uh huh.” She’ll catch on to that real quick and probably kick you to the curb. Instead, actively listen to her by being engaged in the conversation and not allowing any moments of awkward silence. Avoid talking about sports (since very few women enjoy talking about sports at all) and avoid talking about your job or hers. She probably doesn’t care about what happened to you at work today, and she most likely doesn’t want to talk shop when she’s not working. Talk about travel, “what-would-you-do-if” scenarios or favorite foods or hobbies. Make eye contact, but don’t stare.

Dating Tip #3 - Leave On A Good Note

Many men make the fatal dating mistake of waiting until the conversation has run out of steam before making their exit. Even if the conversation was going great at first and you and her were hitting it off really well, if you wait until you hit the conversation dead zone to leave and try to get her number, she’s not going to remember the beginning of the conversation. What she will remember is the awkward silence and then the request for her number – and she probably won’t give it out at that point. By making sure you leave the conversation on a good note, you’ll make her curious for more. Have an out pre-planned, such as getting home to walk the dog, etc. so you can have a good reason to leave before things get awkward.

Dating Tip #4 - Make Her Smile And Laugh

The best flirting move ever is to simply make her smile. Making her smile and laugh is the best thing you can do to make sure she remembers you when she goes home that night. Don’t tell lame jokes – instead, point out the humor that is present in every day life. Tell her something funny that happened to you the other day, or the hilarious thing your roommate did last night. Make sure your funny stories aren’t vulgar or involve painting you – or any other guy really – in a bad light. Seriously, this is not the time for frat boy jokes about how you got so drunk that your friends drew a penis on your face with a Sharpie. Make sure that when you’re flirting with her and telling funny stories to get her to laugh and smile that you’re also allowing her a chance to tell you funny stories that would make you laugh or smile as well.

Dating Tip #5 - Be Yourself

Above all, when you’re dating, it’s so important to be yourself and allow your true self to come through. Some people don’t have chemistry with each other and that’s okay. If you’re not clicking with her, make your exit and move on to someone else, allowing her to do the same. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to get her attention, get her number or to get her to remember you. If you’re not being yourself and she remembers you the next day or when you call her, it’s not really you she’s remembering is it? It’s a facade. Just be yourself!

Dating Tips: You Got Her Number – Now What?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 14:00:36 +0000

Scoring a girl’s phone number when dating can seem like a huge success – and it is. But the question is, what do you do after you get her number? The thought can definitely be nerve wracking because this is where you can really make or break the relationship. When you call her and what you say to her can make her blow you off completely or become super interested in you. So here’s the downlow on what to do after you get her number so you can get a second date – and maybe even more!

What Are You Trying To Achieve With Her?

So you’ve chatted a super cute girl up at the bar and you’ve gotten her number – score! But now you’re just not quite sure what to do with it. You’re staring at it like it’s an alien that will take over your body if you touch it the wrong way and you can’t help but look at it every five seconds for fear that it will scamper off the counter and be lost forever. Many guys are so freaked out by what to say when they call a girl for the first time after getting her phone number that they don’t end up calling her at all – or they call so many days or weeks later that she barely remembers who he was. Before you call a girl, think about what you’re trying to achieve with her. Are you looking to date her and form a solid, long term relationship? Or are you looking for more of a casual friendship or a hook up? Thinking about what you really want first can help you set the stage for what to say next.

There’s Not A Right Time, But There Is A Wrong Time

The “right time” to call a girl after you score her phone number is pretty much whenever you feel the desire to talk to her or ask her out on a date. So really, there is no “right time.” The idea of waiting a certain number of days before you call her so you don’t seem desperate is an outdated myth that will only serve to make her think you’re not interested in her at all. So don’t worry about the “right” time to call her – instead, worry about the “wrong” time to make your move. Waiting too long to call her after you’ve gotten her number may make her think you’re not interested in her, or worse, she may have forgotten who you were by the time you get around to dialing her number. She won’t remember why she gave you her number and she’ll be more reluctant to set up a date with you if she does at all.

Keep It Simple

When calling a girl you just met, it’s definitely important to keep the conversation simple. Be honest, and let her know you really enjoyed talking with her when you met. Elaborating on how awesome, wonderful, sexy and hot she is will just make you seem creepy and stalker-ish. So keep the conversation short and simply let her know that you had a great time and you’d love to do it again. Be prepared with a date idea, but make sure it’s something casual like going out for a cup of coffee or grabbing a quick lunch together. This is especially true if you had a difficult time getting her number to begin with – suggesting a long, romantic dinner at the fancy restaurant downtown really isn’t going to get you anywhere here.

Texting Can Be Your Best Friend

In the age of technology, it’s important not to overlook texting as a mode of communication. Texts are wonderful ways to connect with a woman after getting her number and it won’t put either you or her on the spot. After meeting her and scoring her phone number, send her a short and sweet text the next day letting her know you enjoyed her company – and leave it at that. Chances are, she’ll text you back and let you know that she had fun too. You can also suggest going out on a date in a text, but again, make sure it’s a simple, short date like coffee or lunch. Don’t blow up her phone with tons of texts though – if you do, you’ll seem just as creepy and weird as if you called her a hundred times. Give her time to think about it and answer your text. Remember that she did give you her number and that means she liked you enough to do so. Play it cool and you’ll definitely score the opportunity to get to know her and let her get to know you.

Top 5 Dating Mistakes That Women Make With Men

Michael Webb — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:00:11 +0000

Great men are hard to find and even harder to keep. So when you find one, don’t ruin your chances of turning it into a great relationship by making these deadly dating mistakes. Remember, attractive men have dated a lot of women, so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong. Here’s how to avoid the top five dating mistakes that women make with men so you can increase your chances of keeping a keeper.

Mistake #1: Sharing Your Feelings With Him Too Early

Men love their freedom and independence - no mysteries there! So when you announce that you love him, it often sets off a trigger that you might be one of those “clingy types.” This will no doubt send him running out the door as quick as he can manage. Play it safe and remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual.

Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind and there’s nothing you can do to make it happen, speed it up or make it stop. It will happen when it happens. It may happen for you well before it happens for him or vice versa. It is wise to keep your feelings to yourself until you’ve been dating them for quite some time or they’ve decided to say it first.

Mistake #2: Trying To Push It Too Far Too Soon

It’s natural to wonder about the nature of your relationship. “Does he want more? Or is this just a fling?” But remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. And if you don’t live together, cooking dinner or doing his laundry isn’t a good idea.

A nice meal once in a while is okay, but don’t make it a regular thing. Yes, it’s true, many men are scared of commitment; but just because they don’t want it now, doesn’t mean they don’t want to settle down. They just need time. Let your man take the lead when it comes to announcing the state of the relationship or addressing the marriage, moving in or long term relationship issues. If you surprise him with something he’s not ready for, it will definitely freak him out and these things can’t be taken back once you’ve let them out in the open.

Mistake #3: Being Too Available

You might think this is playing a mind game or being manipulative, but putting your best side forward is also manipulative. Why? Because it’s done to get a desirable outcome. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the man and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery.

Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for him, no matter how much you like him. And remember, men love a challenge, so this actually works in your favor. Don’t put aside everything you did before you met him to make room for him in your life. Instead, continue on about your business just as it was before you met him. He can wait a day or two for a dinner date if you have other things to do and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Mistake #4: Not Being Yourself

Men love confident women with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, women often try to guess how the man wants them to act and try to accommodate his mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. (And yes, men do this too.) Instead of trying to be what you think he wants you to be, simply be yourself and let him fall in love with you just the way you are.

Mistake #5: Putting Too Much Stock In Outward Appearances

Believe it or not, it’s NOT make-up, dyed hair, pretty clothes or even nice shoes that attract men, not into a successful long-term relationships anyway! While “looks” is the obvious factor that seems to get an instant response from men, long-term success comes with finding a man who admires and respects you regardless of your exterior. If your man only likes you for your looks, then he doesn’t really love you. Look your best, but don’t go out of your way. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do to make yourself look good. Remember, you want him to fall in love with you.

Cell Phone Etiquette

Andrew Wang — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 23:00:17 +0000

Long gone are the days of sitting beside your home phone waiting anxiously for your recent date to call you. The advent of the cell phone has done much to alter the way we communicate with those around us, including our romantic partners. Where do cell phone calls and texting fit into the dating landscape? How can you take maximum advantage of them in your relationship while still following proper dating etiquette?

Can You Answer Your Cell Phone On A Date?

First and foremost, let’s touch on a topic of frequent interest and dispute—when, if ever, is it appropriate to answer your cell phone on a date? With few exceptions (you’re a doctor or have some other on-call job, you’re expecting important news about a family member’s precarious health situation, etc.), you should put your phone on silent and forget about it. Nothing says “I’m bored with you,” faster than answering your cell or responding to a text in the middle of a dinner date. That’s a surefire way to convince your date that you feel they’re not worth your time. You’re not just hurting your date’s feelings, either—you are also distracting yourself from your own enjoyment of your time together. If you must check your phone, you can always wait until your date goes to use the restroom.

Can You Text Instead Of Call?

Another popular topic of contention is texting. In what situations is texting as appropriate as calling your significant other? A good rule of thumb is to consider texting someone to be a more casual form of communication than calling someone. If you just want to send your sweetie a sentence to let them know you’re thinking of them, or if you’re simply asking them to pick up some pizza for dinner, or sexting them something you want to do later, a text is totally acceptable. Not so if you’re asking them out on a date (especially if it’s the first or second date!), arguing, or apologizing for some sort of wrong-doing. Taking the time to call your boyfriend or girlfriend in these situations shows that you truly care. Additionally, remember that there is no good way to indicate sarcasm or sincerity in a text, so calling someone can save you from some serious (and possibly anger-inducing) confusion.

How Not To Use Your Cell Phone When Dating

There are still more hazards of cell phone use when it comes to relationships. Drunk-dialing is a terrible idea and a really good way to say something you’ll regret. Breaking up with someone over the phone is cowardly, but doing it via text message is even worse. Call things off in person and rest assured that your reputation won’t take a hit after the fact. No one wants to date the girl or guy who becomes notorious for dumping their exes in text form. Yet cell phones also have their benefits. If you’re in a serious relationship and go out of town on business, a quick check-in call or text each night can be a great way to show you care. Plus, you can use these rules to stand out in a sea of ill-mannered singles that don’t know how to behave better. Good cell phone etiquette, not unlike good manners in general, can give you an extra leg up in the dating scene. Just remember, when you use what you’ve learned here to find the person worth saying it to, that first “I love you” should be spoken in person. That means not on the phone, and certainly not in a text!

Dishing The Dating Dirt

Maryanne Comaroto — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 23:00:55 +0000

Okay, so you’ve been working on getting yourself ready for your next great relationship. You’ve dealt with the demons in your past and laid them to rest, you’ve built up a strong relationship with yourself, and now all you need is someone to share your life with! Suddenly, you start feeling doubtful and vulnerable at the thought of putting yourself out there again, making yourself available for heartache and pain. But it doesn’t have to be like that, and that’s why I want to tell you about part of my tried-and-tested inner-view process. If you can learn how to navigate the sea of 1.45 million potential mates out there for you, you have a much greater chance of finding someone who might be a good match!

Key Rules For Successful Dating

Here’s something to think about: why are you single right now? It sounds like a silly question, but understanding why you want to start the process of moving toward a healthy relationship is just as important as knowing how to do it. This is certainly where we often go wrong when we meet someone we think we like.

So, the game plan, if you’re ready to get started:

Relax. This is supposed to be enjoyable, and it is!
Non-negotiables are called that for a reason – don’t compromise on the things you really want.
Don’t forget who you are and what you want, instead of spending your effort being what other people want.
You may think that The Real You is not as attractive as Seductive You, but do you want someone to get to know your seduction routine, or who you really are?

Inner-Viewing For Success

You don’t have time to get to know 1.45 million people, so how do you weed out some serious candidates? Intuition is the best way to figure out who deserves a little more of your time and who doesn’t. With 97% of our incoming information being processed pre-cognitively, you can learn pretty much everything you need to know from your gut feelings.

Remember these things about GREAT relationships:

Love is not external. You create and generate it inside yourself, and there is an endless supply. It is not something people can give or take away from you.
Intimacy is not a tool used on the first date to try to get a second date. It grows over time as two people learn to trust each other.
There is only one chance to have a first kiss with someone, and the anticipation can be just as wonderful. So don’t rush to get it out of the way. If someone is interested in a real relationship, they will wait with you until the time is right.

Questions To Ask A Potential Mate Before The Date

Here are some essential questions to ask before you give out your contact information and make the first date:

What is this person connected to? Okay, you just met, but you should be able to build at least some context around a person, even if you’ve just started getting to know them. Where did they go to college? Do they live nearby? Do you have any mutual friends? At the risk of sounding dramatic, getting basic information about a person and checking them out can be a life-or-death thing. Don’t be afraid to use Google to help you learn more about someone. Get their full name and do a little investigating.
Where do they live? Long distance relationships may sound romantic and very Hollywood, but in reality they’re extremely hard work, and usually end up either with someone relocating, or with a breakup. If you’re not up for that, then make sure this person lives in your local area before you start connecting with them.
Are they single AND available? Just because someone is paying attention to you or flirting like mad doesn’t mean they’re not married. And just because someone is not married doesn’t mean they’re ready or wanting to be in a relationship! Find out right at the beginning if someone is just playing around with you.

Asking these questions may seem corny, but it’s not difficult, and it can cut out a lot of exasperation later. If you respect yourself enough not to waste time with all the wrong people, then the right people will start respecting you in return. It’s a great way to look after both your heart and your safety.

Are You Ready To Date Again?

Melody Brooke — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 23:00:15 +0000

The truth is that most men will immediately start dating after a divorce. Ex-wives are often startled by how quickly they are “replaced”. Sometimes the ink isn’t dry yet or even, has not been laid down yet! Why is that? Surely they are not so shallow, so unaffected by the trauma of the divorce!

In fact, no, they are not shallow. Reality is, it’s the surest sign that they are miserable without you. How’s that? Well, you see, they are so hurt and lonely without you they run out to try to heal their wounds by finding someone to fill the hole in their heart since you left. Hey, they will do that before the end of the marriage if you have left energetically from the marriage. (Trust me, this is not justification, only an explanation.)

Beginning To Date Again

Those of us who cannot face jumping back in so quickly are left with the question of how in the heck do we start the process of dating again when we feel so broken and distrustful. Dating was so easy in high school. We were young and had a pool of people to choose from every day. They were all around us in our classes, and only a few already committed to someone. That’s not so true today.

From the time we are in our late 20’s to our golden years it seems the majority of the good ones are already taken. And, where the heck are the good ones that are left. It’s not like you are going to see them in study hall. Dating at work is difficult if not impossible for most of us, so where and how do we meet a potential date anyway?

And more importantly, how do you know when you are ready to dive back into the dating pool? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Can you have a conversation with someone without mentioning your ex even once?
Have you gone through a period of mourning the loss of the marriage?
Have you worked through your anger?
Can you honestly say that the dissolution of the marriage was as much your fault as theirs?
Can you picture yourself being with someone else?
Can you picture yourself touching someone else?
Can you picture yourself kissing someone else?
Do you have a good grasp on what happened between you that didn’t work?
How about what did work?
Can you view your marriage and divorce as a “course correction” and not a dismal failure?
Do you have a clear idea of how you were responsible for what occurred?
Have you grown enough since your divorce that you can be the kind of partner that you want your partner to be?
Have you faced your own intimacy fears and blocks?
When you imagine dating someone have you already planned out your entire life with them? (If so, this is not a good sign)
Have you forgiven your ex?
Have you forgiven yourself?

When we have been betrayed, let down, disappointed, abandoned or even abused in our past relationships some of those questions can be really tough. But if you fail to work them through, you are setting yourself up to fail again and, no, you are not ready to date.

The Importance Of Self Growth

Most of us need to go through some kind of counseling or self-growth before we are ready to date again. Dating before you are ready can make dating excruciating for both people (not to mention the friends listening to our saga).

The most important questions are 11, 15 and 16. if you can answer those affirmatively then you might be ready to date, but only if you have fully grieved your marriage.

Grieving is a process that takes time, and a willingness to feel the hard stuff. And of course, like all grieving, it happens in stages and is never quite over. I remember being so glad to be out of the marriage, yet feeling a wave of grief when my ex re-married within two years of our divorce. I was confused at first, because I was clear I didn’t want to be married to him. But the truth is, seeing him marry reminded me of all the hopes and dreams I had of our marriage in the beginning. I had to grieve the loss of those hopes.

Give yourself time to heal, and to face your own part in what occurred between you and you will be ready to date again. For some of us it’s a matter of months, for others it may take years. Don’t let anyone rush you into it either. Friends feeling our pain may want us to get back on the horse again. But you are the only one who knows when you are ready. That said; don’t let fear keep you from riding the horse again. If you have worked through all the questions above, you should get back in the saddle regardless of how scared you are. You deserve to have the love you are capable of giving.

Sex On The First Date – Does That Mean The Relationship Is Doomed?

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Many people credit the indescribable, nebulous cause of “chemistry” with their initial attraction to their partner. But typically relationships built on nothing more than what amounts to intense physical attraction have a reputation for tapering off or ending abruptly. But a new study finds that people whose physical relationship progresses quickly prior to developing a deeper connection based on intimate knowledge of the other person may actually last just as long.

In an analysis of relationship surveys, University of Iowa sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in “hookups,” “friends with benefits,” or casual dating relationships. However, having sex on the first date wasn’t to blame for the disparity.

Does Sex On The First Date Mean A Doomed Relationship?

According to Science Daily, “When Paik factored out people who weren’t interested in getting serious, he found no real difference in relationship quality. That is, couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship ended up just as happy as those who dated and waited.”

“We didn’t see much evidence that relationships were lower quality because they started off as hookups,” said Paik. The study judged quality by asking participants the extent to which the person loved their partner, the relationship’s future, level of satisfaction with intimacy, and how their lives would be different if the relationship ended. According to the answers, the study administrators were able to deduce that although sexual involvement wasn’t to blame for the lower quality scores for relationships initiated as hookups.

Paik points to selection: Certain people are prone to finding relationships unrewarding, and those individuals are more likely to form hookups. The question is whether it’s the type of relationship that causes lower quality or whether it’s the people,” he said. “The finding is that it’s something about the people.”

People who are involved in hookups are likely predisposed to engage in short-term relationships, therefore they’d be unqualified for the parameters of this study which looks at long term relationships. Starting a sexual relationship prior to discussing important compatibility issues can spell disaster and pain in the long run – in part two of this article, I look at how to avoid overcommitting to a relationship sexually by taking time to ask important questions about each other’s background.

Q&A: What To Do If She’s Only In It For The Sex

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 14:00:16 +0000

Men often get a bad rap for being in a relationship only for the sex and women get stuck being the “booty call.” But truth be told, some women will actually do the same thing to men and turn the man into the “booty call” instead of wanting a real relationship. It’s actually not that uncommon for a single, independent woman to want to be with a man simply for the great sex. What are the signs that she is, in fact, only in it for the sex and what should you do if she is?

Question: What should I do if it looks like the girl I’m dating is with me just for sex?

–YouTube Viewer

What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

If you suspect that your girl is with you simply for the sex, stop and think about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Are you looking for a relationship that is sex only, or are you looking for something more serious? Do you want a long term relationship or do you want a casual relationship that involves a friendship in addition to sex? Stopping to define what you want in a relationship at this stage in your life is essential in figuring out if you want to stay in this particular relationship or not. If your girl is in it only for the sex and you want a deeper, more emotionally fulfilling relationship, you might want to consider moving on and dating other people. On the other hand, however, stop and consider that while you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship with your current girl, are you satisfied for the time being? If you would end up being single anyways and spending your time masturbating instead of having sex, why not continue to stay in a sex-only relationship until you meet someone you are interested in starting a real relationship with? If your girl really is in it only for the sex, she won’t mind you keeping your eyes peeled for someone who can better meet your needs.

Signs That She’s Just Looking For Sex

If you’re not sure that she’s just in it for the sex but you have your suspicions, there are many ways to find out. The way she acts towards you and her behaviors will definitely clue you in if she just wants sex from you and nothing else. In fact, these are the same types of behaviors that guys exhibit when they’re with a girl that they just consider to be a “booty call.” Your girl may not call you for days after having sex with you, but will call you again out of the blue if she wants more. She may call you only at night, or very late at night if she’s been out partying or hanging out with friends. She won’t want to hang out with you and may make excuses if you want to take her to dinner or take her to a game. She may hide her relationship with you from her friends, acting like she is “just friends” with you when you and her are together in front of them. When you are alone with her, however, she may act completely different towards you. She may bring up sex a lot in conversations with you and her, or she may just flat out put the moves on you when you first walk in her door. She may ask you to leave after sex instead of offering to let you stay the night or she may leave your house rather than asking to stay.

What To Do If You Want More Than Just Sex

If you are really wanting more out of this relationship than sex, talk to your girl. Let her know that you’re not getting what you need. Let her know that you really like her and that you want to be more than just a “booty call” to her. In some cases, a girl will assume that the man just wants sex with her so she tries to be what he wants. She may be surprised to hear that you want more than just sex and that you actually want a relationship! Don’t break up with her or end the relationship before talking to your girl and being completely honest with her. If you really like this girl, it would be a shame to let her go because of a simple miscommunication! If she really does want just sex though, and you’re not into that, move on because there are lots of other girls that would love to have an emotionally fulfilling relationship along with a sexual one.

Dating In The Same Industry: Is It A Relationship Dealbreaker?

Andrew Wang — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 00:00:20 +0000

Though it sounds similar, dating someone at your work can be very different from dating someone who works in the same industry. For example, politicians Bill and Hilary Clinton, writers Stephen and Tabitha King, artists Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, or actors Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner may have never worked in the same office, co-wrote a book, shared a canvas, or acted in the same movie (respectively). However, they have traveled in the same circles, experienced the similar troubles, and strived to accomplish somewhat identical goals as the other.

Finding love within your field of work is very common since you are more likely to bump into one another and because you have a built-in shared interests (not only the career itself, but the traits that go along with it, like creativity, debate, expression, etc.). Also, knowing the complications and processes which accompany a particular position, that person is bound to be more sympathetic and able to better understand your project or plight.

Downsides To Dating In Your Industry

However, there are downsides to dating a fellow writer, lawyer, actor, or anyone else who shares your title. To start, could a conflict of interest cause a break up? If you find yourselves representing opposing clients or contesting for the same project, that competition can extend to your personal relationship. You may even be tempted use your intimate knowledge or position as a way to sabotage their chances from within (such as casually extracting private details about the project and, in turn, sharing them with your boss).

Another downside is that you are bound to know the same people, maybe even share the same friends. “Wait, this doesn’t sound like a bad thing,” you may be saying. Let me tell you, though, when it turns out your coworker is actually your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend or your best guy-friend was once punched by him in a drunken brawl, well, you can see where interacting with the same people can be a bad thing. Industry gossip can fly faster than a Boeing, and you may find yourselves caught up in it. Yet even if there were never any drama between the various parties, it can still be frustrating to share friends.

Finally, how would your relationship endure the success of one or the failure of another partner? One person is bound to earn more, gain more recognition, or achieve a higher position than the other. Would you be able to set aside your own feelings of hurt or rejection in order to praise your partner for his good work? Moreover, would you be willing to take a professional hit, if it meant that your partner would come out on top? Unfortunately, this kind of decision does occasionally surface and, when it does, it will be up to you to decide how your relationship will fare.

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Make Her Like Me Even Though I’m White

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:00:48 +0000

You like someone, but they don’t like you for some silly, superficial reason. What do you do? Should you try your best to get them to see past whatever it is that makes them not want to date you (because it is silly, after all) or do you simply let go and accept yourself for who you are? Here’s what to do when someone doesn’t want to date you because of something on the outside and won’t take time to get to know you on the inside.

Question: A girl says she only likes men who aren’t white. Is there a way to get her to like me even though I’m white?

–YouTube Viewer

Everyone Has Their Own Preferences

You’ve heard the saying, “to each their own.” This applies perfectly to this situation, because the truth of the matter is, everyone likes what they like. They also don’t like what they don’t like, and very rarely does that ever change. If it does, it is usually not because someone tried to “get” them to change their minds, but because the person themselves decided to try something new. If someone you like doesn’t like white people, or blondes or people that are too fat or too thin or even nerds or jocks for that matter, it may be superficial but you have to realize it’s what they like and that’s just the way it is. You like what you like (and don’t like what you don’t like) and while you may be more open minded than other people about who you want to date, you still have your preferences. Other people have theirs too, whether it seems silly to you or not and there’s just not much you can do about it.

Why “Getting” Someone To Like You Can Backfire

Trying to get someone to like you if they don’t can really end up blowing up in your face if you aren’t careful. Often, people who are trying to make someone like them end up trying too hard and end up losing themselves in the process. If someone you like doesn’t like certain things about you such as your hair or your body build, you may feel compelled to get a hair cut or color and sign up for an expensive gym membership, spending the majority of your time working out. In essence, people end up changing themselves so much in the process of trying to make someone like them that they can’t stay in touch with their true selves. And in the end, it usually doesn’t work anyway and they still don’t like you. At the end of the day, you’re disappointed with a version of yourself that you’re not familiar with. Many people in this situation have pushed away friends and family during this time as well. Of course, this is worst case scenario. Regardless of what happens, however, trying to “make” someone like you very rarely works out to that person’s advantage.

Being Confident In Who You Are

Take a break from dating and figure out who you are, what you like and what you don’t like. Figure out things you’re willing to sacrifice in a relationship and what you’re not. Learn to be confident in yourself and love yourself for who you are, just the way you are. When you start dating again, date people who are interested in the real you and will accept you as you are. There are plenty of those people out there!

Top Things Women Do To Screw Up A First Date

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 23:00:34 +0000

Men and women are definitely equal in one way; both have an infinite capacity to screw up the first date! Embarrassing moments are far from gender specific and both men and women can make huge mistakes on the first date. So, without further ado, here’re the ladies’ top ways to ensure she never sees her crush again.

She said:

Being Clingy

Acting clingy is a HUGE no-no, whether it’s the first date or the hundredth. Embrace your confidence, not your fear.

Being On Your Cell Phone

Same cell phone etiquette goes here. Calling your best friend in the middle of a date won’t get you support – it will likely get you in trouble after your date overhears every word.

Not Keeping Cash On Hand

Despite my previous advice, do have some cash in your wallet. It’ll save an awkward situation if the “who’s paying” agreement hasn’t been sussed out in advance. You know what they say about assuming.

Being Fake

Don’t put on the “I’m perfect” act. We all know you’re human. The guy you’re seeing should be falling for you, not a facsimile of whom you think he wants to see.

Talking Too Much

There’s plenty of time to get to know each other, if all goes well. It’s really difficult to bounce back from verbal diarrhea, as the unpleasant name implies.

Flirting With Another Guy

Flirting with another guy while you’re out on a date is not cool – even if said date isn’t going well. It’s not in good form, period. You’ll come across as rude, a game-player, or both.

Acting Like You’re In A Relationship With Your Date

Don’t act like you’re already in a relationship. Slow your roll, honey! You don’t need to play games, but don’t go picking out China patterns either.

Being Late

If you’re meeting at an agreed-upon location, don’t be late. You’re playing into a stereotype, as well as wasting someone’s time.

Being Rude

Smiles, everyone! Whether it’s a match made in heaven, or less chemistry than a turkey in a freezer, manners still count. If your companion for the evening isn’t your dream guy, you can still be graceful about it.

Lying

Lying about your age or your career? Don’t. Save the padding for resumes and bras. If you get serious about each other, your guy will find out – and he may question what else you aren’t telling the truth about. Who wants to be branded a liar?

He said:

Forcing It

You know what you want. A boyfriend/husband/knight in shining armor/whatever. You tell your perspective partner this. A lot. He’s going to get turned off fast. Let him know where you’re at, but don’t beat him over the head with it. Don’t think you’re his girlfriend until he says so. Period.

Seeming Interested When You Know You’re Not

If you’re into him, great. If not, don’t waste his (or your) time. Go into the date with a time constraint. No first date should last longer than thirty minutes. You’ll know in the first thirty seconds if you like him or not. If you want to stay past the allotted time frame, great! Then do so, but put one in place prior to showing up, show you both can eject if it’s not happening.

False Advertising

If you’re a small chested girl, show it. If you’re a large chested girl, show it. There’s nothing wrong with either, but I should know which I’m dealing with before I get the shirt off. This goes to all aspects of who you are. If you want someone who will love you for whom you are, you’d better start of by showing him who that is and seeing if he’s interested. If he’s not, move on.

Looking For A Road Map

If you ever find yourself wondering “where is this relationship going?” that’s a bad sign. The truth? You know where it’s going, you’re just not happy with it. Love isn’t something you question. It’s something you know. Asking for a sign is in fact a sign. Not a good one.

Q&A: Dating A Younger Woman Or Man

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:00:12 +0000

Age differences between a two people who are dating are becoming more and more common. As Internet dating becomes more popoular and as people become more openminded in an evolving society, age doesn’t necessarily mean a whole lot these days. However, when does age matter when dating a younger woman or a younger man? Are there ways to keep dating outside of your “age range” safe for both you and your partner?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, this girl and I have been talking and she and I both really like each other, but our age difference is substantial, however, I don’t see a problem with it. She still likes me but she is nervous to be with me. What is your advice on my situation?

–YouTube Viewer

The Older You Get, The Less It Matters

When you get older, an age difference between you and your partner matters less and less. For example, if you’re 75 and your partner is just 60, it’s less of an issue than if you’re 32 and your partner is 17. If you or your partner are currently middle age, then there is even less to worry about. If you are 40 and your partner is 55, you’ll find that people are actually surprised that you’re fifteen years apart! If you’re young, however, the age difference can easily become a big deal. Even just a few years in this case can be a problem. If you’re 16 and your partner is 18 or even 19, you’ll notice that a lot of people have something to say about dating a younger woman or man.

Take It Slow

When you’re young, don’t be afraid to take it slow if you and your partner are a few or several years apart. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and it can pose less of an issue if you and your partner are dating without being sexually active, depending on your age. This comes into play more often if one partner is under the age of eighteen and one partner is over the age of eighteen. The younger man or woman may want to wait until they turn eighteen before the couple takes the relationship to the next level. Regardless of the age difference, however, make sure you and your partner are both ready to take that step if the time comes. If you aren’t, there’s no reason to rush it!

When It Becomes A Legal Problem

Legally, eighteen is the age in which people can give consent to have sex. If you or your partner are under the age of eighteen and one of you is over, it can become a legal issue when sex becomes involved. A vindictive parent may decide they want to press charges for “statutory rape” or “corruption of a minor” even if the “victim” is just a few weeks or even days shy of being eighteen. Parents can press charges even if the “victim” was fully consenting of the sexual act. The statute of limitations on this kind of charge is long enough that you could be in trouble well after your partner turns eighteen. If both partners are under the age of eighteen, the issue becomes less of a problem as both parties involved are considered minors. However, once one partner turns eighteen, legally you and your partner can get in more trouble than it was worth. The best thing to do in a situation like this is play it safe and wait!

Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 23:00:47 +0000

So guys, you got her number, you set it up, and here you both are. On the first date. Congratulations! Not! Any idiot can get a date with a woman, but what if you want to be dating her? How do you get from the first date to the second? Well, let’s start with what NOT to do. One step at a time, grasshopper.

Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date – What She Said

How could a man screw up a first date? Oh, let me count the ways! John’s going to hate this, but I’m gonna say it – if a man asks a woman out on a first date and doesn’t pay, it’s a huge turnoff. Show me some effort, show me respect – and don’t show up late. Once again, I’m not saying it comes down to how much you spend – in this case it’s truly the thought that counts. That said, let me countdown the proverbial “Top Ten:”

1. See above. Have plan and have your wallet on hand. You don’t want to pay? There probably won’t be a second date. The last thing I want to hear the first time out is, “How ya doin’ for cash?” How am I doing? Fine, thanks to the $20 I have in my purse that I’m using to take a cab home.

2. Ogling other women. You want to eye that waitress’s ass? Do it on your own time. I’m not crazy enough to think you’re never going to look at another woman, but the first date isn’t the time or place.

3. Pressing for sex. If there’s a mutual attraction, it’ll happen in its own sweet time. A first date is different from a one-night stand. Know the difference.

4. Expecting your mind to be read. Did you have a great time? Call and say so! Guesswork isn’t sexy.

5. Talking about the ex. This is our time to get to know each other. Chatting about another woman isn’t high on my list. Keep the ex-girlfriend information to yourself until the relationship deepens.

6. Cell phone. Keep the cell phone in your pocket. Stopping to take a call, text or check your email? Not cool. Eyes and ears akimbo. If you’ve got a busy phone, enjoy the buzzing in your pocket and check your messages later.

7. Getting drunk – like really, really drunk. Do a few beers make you a little chatty? Great. Nothing wrong with a warm glow, as long as safe transportation is arranged. Irish Car Bombs and a Taco Bell run? No excuse for this behavior, unless your next stop is AA.

8. Referring to yourself in the third person. It’s not wrong – but it creeps me out. It makes me wonder what other personality tics you have tucked away.

9. Showing up with another person. It’s a date, not a party. Save the chaperone for the 8th grade dance.

10. Talking too much. Do you loooove the sound of your own voice above all others? Then you might as well skip the date and stay home with your mirror. Talking incessantly due to nerves is one thing. Extolling your virtues via a monologue is another.

Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date – What He Said

It’s funny that Jenna said guys need to show up on time. I love showing up late for dates. I do it purposefully, because most women are always late, and I figure, I’ve got extra time, and why not make HER wait for ME? Anyhoo, here’s the list:

As a guy, you have to realize the cold hard facts. A man doesn’t choose a woman. A woman chooses a man. If you want a girl that’s a “10,” that’s fine, but why should she choose you? You have to provide her with something that no one else does. That starts with being interesting. Have opinions. Voice them, without being overbearing or close minded. Be someone she can’t figure out. Be mysterious, yet open. Chicks love that stuff.

1. Not taking the lead. It’s a man’s job to lead. Period. Most women (assuming they are feminine and not masculine in nature) want to be led. That doesn’t mean be a dick, but it does mean you are the director of the experience. As Chris Rock once said, “anything you mutter ain’t getting done.” Saying “Where do you want to go?” won’t get you anywhere. Saying “Oh my god. You totally need to try the Margaritas at [X], meet me there Sunday at 7:30” will work. If she can’t make it, she’ll let you know, but she wants a man, damn it. Be the man.

2. Being predictable. Ever wonder why women love those bad boys? It’s because they don’t know what’s coming next. They have absolutely no idea what to expect, and they love that. They need that. They crave it. It’s something primal for them, almost. Now I’m not advocating treating women like crap, but if you can offer them the best of both worlds, she’ll eat that up. Be mysterious. Tell her to pack a bag for the weekend, and refuse to tell her where she’s going. Always keep her guessing. She should never know everything about you. Always keep a little bit hidden.

3. Treating it like a job interview. I’m not saying don’t get to know her. I’m just saying I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people out on dates, and they have all the sexual chemistry of a job interview. In Utah. I’m not saying you have to take her in the bathroom and do her, but you have to let her know you have sexual desire for her, and not be too shy about it, but not be too forceful either.

If I’m on a date with a woman and I don’t generate some sexual electricity, I will wind up in the friend zone (that is, if I am ‘lucky’).

4. Listening to her words, and not her body. Before you cut my head off, let me explain. Listen to her words yes, but pay extra attention to what she’s saying WITHOUT words. Often times her mouth will say one thing, but her body will say another. I remember going out with a woman on a first date and I thought it was going horrible. Why? Because she kept telling me how full of shit I was. Kept telling no, but her body was SCREAMING yes. Her eyes were super dilated, as if she was forcing them open to take all of me in, kept “accidentally” bumping into me, playing with her hair etc. I was shocked when I got a second date, because I was so clueless on the first.

5. Going too sexual too fast. Jenna said don’t force sex on the first date. I agree, but I don’t think there’s a set time frame for when sex is appropriate. The right time is when it feels right for her. That can be ten dates from the first time you meet, or ten minutes from the time you meet. It all boils down to how you do it, no pun intended. A one night stand is different that relationship sex. The difference can be summed up in one word: comfort. She needs a different comfort level for relationship sex. She wants you to want to want her, but for more than just booty. She needs to know that

6. Not setting up the second date. If you want a second date with this person, it should be set up long before you ask for it, midway through the first date ideally. Make plans for the second one, subtly. Start by dropping hints about amazing places to take her, restaurants that you know of (one’s that she’s never tried, of course), things like that. Relationships are all about planting seeds (not like that, you pervert). So sew them well.

Q&A: Do You Lose Your Friends When You Fall In Love?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:00:43 +0000

When many people fall in love, the relationships they have with other people (such as their friends) start to fade. Is this something inevitable that happens whenever people fall in love and commit themselves to a relationship with one other person, or is it something that can be avoided? Can you keep your friends after you fall in love?

Question: Do you lose your friends once you fall in love?

–YouTube Viewer

All Relationships Require Nurturing

Every single relationship requires “care” and “feeding.” Whether it’s a friendship, a committed relationship, a work relationship or other type of relationship, each one will require you to nurture it for the relationship to last. A friendship cannot last if you do not spend time with your friends or stop calling them. Each relationship requires a certain amount of give and take. If your friends are doing all of the giving and you’re not giving them anything back, your friendships are going to fizzle quickly.

Why New Relationships Cause People To Lose Friends

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. When you’re in love with someone, you naturally want to spend all your time with them. Any free moment that you get will be spent with them, while everyone else waits on the sidelines. Of course, not everyone will wait for you to find some time in your schedule for them and will soon go about their business. Pretty soon, you won’t have anyone sitting on the sidelines waiting for you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often with new relationships. People don’t take the time out they need to for their friends, instead they spend almost all of their time with their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Eventually, they’ll notice that they really don’t have any friends left. This can even happen to the deepest, longest lasting friendships. Even if you have been friends with someone since kindergarten and you have seen each other through everything, if you don’t devote some time to your friends, you stand a very good chance of losing them.

Find Time For Your Friends

While you may be tempted to spend the majority of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend because everything is so new and feels so wonderful, it’s important that you make time for your friends too. Schedule a regular “girls” or “guys” night out once a week or every couple of weeks. Take some time to connect with your friends, talking about what is going on in your life and asking them about theirs. You may also be tempted to talk your friends’ ears off about how great your new boyfriend or girlfriend is, but make sure you listen to them talk about their lives too. You may devote plenty of time to your friends, but if all they’re doing is listening to you go on about your life, they’re going to start coming up with excuses as to why they can’t do girls’ night this week. Ideally, your friendships should stay the same no matter what type of relationships you’re going through. Whether you’re in a relationship, out of a relationship or playing the field, your friendships should be the rock you can rely on throughout everything.

Dating A Stripper – The Pros, The Woes, And The Hos

Andrew Wang — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:00:49 +0000

It would be both unfair and inaccurate to say that one can’t have a successful relationship with a stripper. To start, no two strippers are alike: they have different upbringings, different philosophies and ideals, different motives, and even different entrance songs. However, there are relationship problems which are specific to people working in this industry. These are not meant to dissuade you from dating Ms. Right-Up-On-Stage, but rather, to help you decide if you will be compatible.

Why Is She Stripping?

The first thing you must consider is her reason for stripping. This can be a telling factor in whether you may want to stay with her or not. If, for example, she is just working her way through college (as the tired cliche goes), then it may be possible to temporarily set aside any misgivings you may have. Yet if she strips because it gives her power or makes her feel desirable, be prepared for a low self-esteem and a whole lot of baggage.

What are her future plans for stripping? Is it a gig or is it a career? While you may not begrudge her for doing what she has to do for a couple months, will you be as accepting after several years? Think of if/when you decide to have children. There is no maternity leave for strippers, no Bring Your Child to Work Day. Moreover, in the event that she is laid off or fired, many strippers find it difficult to transition into a regular job not only because of the drastic difference in compensation, but also, commonly, because of their lack of job skills. Knowing how to hang upside down on a pole will not fix a jammed printer or create a spreadsheet.

Is There Intimacy Between You And Her?

Then there is the joke about how the sex life of both gynecologists and strippers dwindle because they don’t like bringing their work home. Yet there is a bit of truth to it. When a stripper spends every night forcing intimacy with strangers, it can become difficult to not force it at home, as well. Also, after feeling objectified by lusty men night after night, she may less than stoked to find an amorous boyfriend waiting at home.

What about the pros, you ask. There may be some benefits to dating a stripper. To start, she has to at least be somewhat attractive, right? Probably has a nice body and decent sense of rhythm. If she goes into the industry with a rational mind, she will have entertaining stories to tell. And frankly, let’s face it: you get to have what hundreds of guys want.

Are There Really Pros To Dating A Stripper?

But what about the other kind of pros? I’m talking about the professionals, the strippers who take their craft to the next step as a way to rake in even more money. This stereotype holds more than just a nugget of truth: there are many strippers who have sex or perform other physical acts with clients. Unfortunately, this is a large part (albeit unofficial) part of the lifestyle. Not every stripper will succumb to this impromptu pay-raise; but let’s face it, she will be exposed to it.

What a bummer, I know. It doesn’t sound nearly as sexy or glamorous as it did in your head when you and your buddies saw her dancing last Friday. Nevertheless, if you feel none of this is a dealbreaker, give it a try. Don’t let this dressing down steer you away from what could be true love.

Ask Dan and Jennifer » Dating Tips

How To Stay OUT Of The Friend Zone!

Accept The Fact That She Is Not Interested

Work On Yourself

Meet New People

Learn To Flirt

Slight Touches

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