The 12 Commandments Of First Dates
Thou shalt not speak of your ex or theirs
The golden rule of the first three dates is NEVER discuss your ex. I could write a whole post on this but as a guideline, if exes come up, keep it vague and move on. You should both have way more to talk about than each otherâs pasts loves. Find out about each other before you even think of venturing into the shark infested ex waters.
Talking about your ex may give the impression that youâre not over them and it also may cause your date to draw, rightly or wrongly, conclusions about you. Even worse, sometimes people adjust their behavior and true character on the basis of the information that you reveal. Just donât go there!
Thou shalt manage your expectations
Expectations, whether you have too little or too much tend to be behind a lot of problems with dating and relationships. You need to go on a first date with eyes open and with your feet firmly in reality.
If you go with too little or with too high expectations, this will not only skew your perception of the person and the date, but it is likely to cause you to ignore important signals about whether this is someone you should pursue further dates with.
Thou shalt leave your jaded, cynical, self at home
Iâve had more bad dates than hot dinners (OK slight exaggeration) but I still kept on going on dates. Itâs best not to tar everyone with the same brush and if you canât stop being negative, you shouldnât be dating. Positive mental attitude!
Thou shalt make an effort with your appearance
Itâs not all about the surface stuff but unfortunately it is the first thing thatâs noticed. Hair combed, teeth brushed, breath smelling good (or at least of nothing), not too much perfume or after shave, no B.O., and avoid fashion faux-pas.
Thou shalt be a decent conversationalist
Conversation and communication is all about the exchange hence you must have a good balance of listening and talking. If all you can hear is your voice or theirs, the balance isnât right. Be careful of spending your brain power thinking about what youâll say next instead of listening. Ask questions but donât interrogate, and steer clear of danger topics like religion or politics.
Oh and yes, it goes without saying that you should actually talk and make an effort to overcome your shyness as nobody wants to feel like theyâre talking to themselvesâŚ
Thou shalt use your manners
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