Are Friends With Benefits REALLY Beneficial?
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When you’ve been single awhile, friends with benefits might just seem to be the answer to your prayers.
You’re alone and lonely, you miss the closeness, you miss being touched and desired, and you may think a FWB (Friends with Benefits) relationship is just what you need.
But have you considered all of the consequences it brings with it?
Imagine a friend approaches you and suggests the two of you embark on a friends with benefits relationship. If you are attracted to your friend or have wished that your friendship was something more than just a friendship, you might think you have nothing to lose. You run through all the pros in your mind. Regular sex, intimacy, spending time with someone you like. Hmmm, those sound pretty good! What the heck? Why not?
Setting the ground rules
One of the first things that usually happens is a discussion of the ground rules. You may decide that while you are sleeping together you won’t sleep with anyone else. That if either you meets someone with ‘relationship potential,’ you’re free to walk away without any hassles. You discuss the fact that it’s not a relationship. No romantic feelings should be involved. It’s just about the sex. Or is it?
Those pesky hormones
The problem is, especially it seems for women, that feelings do develop. Biology gets involved releasing hormones, such as oxytocin, that make us form an attachment when, in reality, none exists.
It’s almost certain to happen. She imagines she feels more than she really does. And this, my friends, is how you end up getting hurt.
If you already have some feelings for your friend, you may go into these FWB relationships thinking that he’ll develop feelings for you.
Guess what? It isn’t going to happen. If he was going to develop feelings for you, he more than likely already would have.
Men do not have the same biology issue that women have. He is totally able to have his cake and eat it too without any pesky old feelings getting in the way. He’ll say good bye, forget about you until next week when he gets horny again and that will be that. He isn’t going to fall in love with you just because he starts sleeping with you.
Single white female seeking nothing
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About the author: To learn more about Lisa Quirke, visit http://20-forty.com/.
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